#seriously don’t like? don't read or cultivate your dash

[doctorprofessorsong]

The worst thing to happen to the spn fandom was actually polls. Hope that helps.

[skyfallscotland]

@heartfeltletters-written asked me 💥 How do you feel about criticism? and it felt like something that needed its own post, so here goes: the hypocrisy of critics in modern fandoms, an essay.

Criticism. I don't like getting it or giving it when it comes to writing. I struggle to even gently give it to friends, even when they ask me what I think of their work. Writing is such a personal thing that we pour our heart and soul into and like you say, many criticisms aren't necessarily valid. By that I mean, there's a difference between "Amy you use em dashes a lot babe" (I do) and "This story would have been so much better if Remi were a virgin" (actual criticism I have received, lmao). 

Unlike traditional authors, we will never make money from this, we do it for the love of it and it's time we will never get back. For some of us, it's time we could be working on our own original manuscripts too. I don't think people who give the second type of criticism are writers, generally. They don't understand the craft and what goes into it. Whenever I post and someone says a chapter was short or they immediately ask when the next one is, and that's all they say, I die inside a little. I try not to take it personally, but it's hard.

Personally, I think fandom behaviour is getting worse and that flows over into our comment sections and tumblr asks. I have a whole other dissertation on this that we’ll call ‘the slow death of fandom as we know it: an essay’, but that’s perhaps for another post. I don’t know how welcomed that commentary would be. 

You said the word ‘entitled’ in your original ask and I think that’s spot on. People have become more entitled in general and downright rude (which is not restricted to online spaces, by the way). I write for ACOTAR, but you’ve never seen me discuss it here because no matter what you say in that regard, you can’t win. Someone will always attack you and I do mean attack. Even in regards to Fourth Wing, I don't talk about my opinions a lot outside of my own little bubble of friends and readers.

And that's the kicker to this whole conversation, really. If I were to criticise Iron Flame/RY everyone would jump down my throat (as has happened on other platforms), even though I'd never say it to her face. Do I stand by my opinions? Absolutely. But it would be rude to tell her them, unless asked. I’m not allowed to (validly) criticise certain elements of her story, a published novel, without being attacked for it, but those same people are fine criticising my work directly to me. Hypocrisy at its finest.

There’s a new influx of people to fandom spaces who are completely unwilling to integrate and completely unwilling to be kind. You mentioned those who criticised your work could have saved themselves the trouble and read the tags, but the thing is: they don’t want to. They can’t be bothered to take five seconds and figure out how they work, to curate their own experience, because that’s what half these people are like. They want an algorithm to do it for them, gods help us.

For me, personally, I'm my biggest critic. I also have raging generalised anxiety, so just posting on the internet is enough to send me spiralling (seriously, I feel sick just typing this out). It's very, very out of my comfort zone and I've been very, very lucky so far to have cultivated the readership I have, full of very like-minded people. Perhaps due to some of the darker content matter. But the second I get harshly worded comments, I get upset.

I don't say that to elicit sympathy, it's just a fact. I get upset about it the same way I would if you were standing in front of me saying it to my face, and for someone with depression and anxiety, that lingers. I'm getting better at laughing at them, but it's like when someone tells you they don't like you and your mum says "just ignore them"—not that easy, right? 

So yeah, I don't mind if you want to tell me I use a lot of em dashes, or that I've used a word incorrectly in context, but I don't need to hear how much you hate original character fic when you could just use your last remaining braincell the back button and continue on with your day. Just be kind, is all I'm saying.

[spaceorphan18]

I somehow stumbled across some anti-Blaine blogs and it's ridiculous how they claim to be Kurt fans yet paint Kurt as some sort of victim, as if they have zero understanding of his character whatsoever. I genuinely don't understand them. Since when has Kurt ever allowed himself to be a victim?

So, first of all, I’d like to say this...  I agree Kurt is not a victim. He does not need to be freed, he does not need to be saved, he’s actually pretty happy with how his life is and how it turned out.  I agree that I don’t understand the general consensus that Kurt would some how be magically better if only... (doesn’t even matter if it’s Blaine related or not -- there’s this weird ‘if only’ magic that sometimes gets used around Kurt.)  But Kurt has worked very hard to be his own individual character, and I think it’s disingenuous, at best, to claim that Kurt is not responsible for his own choices.  

That said - Nonny, I’m going to give you a piece of advice someone had given me a long time ago when first entering fandoms -- cultivate your dash, and make it your happy place.  Seriously.  There are always going to be anti-Blaine blogs out there.  There’s going to be anti-your favorite thing in general out there.  And it’s easy to slip into this thing where you hate-read or just have to know what the other side is seeing.  But in truth -- it doesn’t matter.   

The writers could come up with reboot where Kurt is looking directly at the camera saying -- I am happy, and happy with Blaine, and stop saying those things, and people still will.  It’s not something that’s gonna be stopped, and quite frankly -- there are more important things to get indignant about, so why not make your dash a happier place in the process? 

And I get it, I do -- I used to do the same thing, and recently I have done the same thing, stumbling on things that I perhaps shouldn’t be doing.  But in the long run, it always just makes me angry -- and no amount of sputtering off meta -- explaining that canon is pretty clear that Kurt is happy, and would be incredibly upset at the amount of bashing Blaine that has gone on -- is going to get them to change their minds.  

I’m open to conversation and all for looking at things from another point of view, but at the end of the day, if those opinions are just off -- well, then, it’s just not worth it.  For your own mental health Nonny, come hang out with those of use who would like to use our time enjoying the things we love and not wasting our energy on things we don’t.  Life’s too short to be wasting time with dumb people on the internet <3 <3