#serious answer i started reading deadpool when i was around... 15? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

waitimcomingtoo · 5 years ago

Note

Can you do actress reader x Tom Holland where the reader has a celebrity crush on Ryan Reynolds and fangirls over him and tom gets jealous?

Reynolds

Pairing: Tom Holland x actress!reader

Synopsis: your obsession with Ryan Reynolds has Tom feeling insecure

Masterlist

Requests are CLOSED

“Where’s Tom?” You read one of the comments on your Instagram live as you played with the strings of Toms Punisher hoodie. “Toms at a meeting but if I timed it correctly he should be eating lunch right about now.”

For the record, you had timed it correctly. Tom was in a quiet cafe, eating the lunch you packed him with a content smile while he watched your Instagram live. Tom continued to eat his food as you answered more innocent questions.

“What are you doing now?” You read another comment.

“Probably reading.” Tom thought to himself.

“I was just reading. Reading and waiting for Tommy to come home. What’s your favorite color?” You read a commenters question.

“Pink.” Tom said out loud as he munched a baby carrot.

“Pink.” You nodded. “I’ve always loved pink. What’s your favorite animal?”

“Dog.” Tom smiled knowingly, feeling like he was acing a test.

“Dogs.” You stated with a happy smile. “Like my baby Tessa. What’s your favorite food?”

“My baby loves ice cream.” Tom said in a sing song voice. He moved back and forth in his chair, blushing at how cute you were in his hoodie. He wished he could be back at home with you, eating your favorite ice cream.

“I love ice cream. I don’t know if that counts as a food but it’s my favorite so.” You shrugged, your eyes darting up and down as you read the comments. “Who’s your favorite actor. That’s easy.”

“Tom Holland.” Tom said, keeping a mental score of all his points for answering questions correctly.

“Ryan Reynolds.” You answered. A sly smile appeared on your face. “Have you guys seen Deadpool?”

Tom sat back in surprise as you got into a discussion with your followers about Deadpool. Since when did you like Ryan Reynolds? And why was he your favorite actor when your own boyfriend was an actor? Tom felt a twinge of jealousy bubble up in his tummy. He had a weird relationship with Ryan Reynolds. They had never met, but were friendly on Instagram and Twitter. Both men liked to feed into the Spider-Man/Deadpool fantasy that fans had created online. There was the back and forth teasing of each other, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Hugh Jackman that Tom always found funny.

Until now.

Until he discovered his girlfriends love for another actor.

Tom pushed it from his mind. He convinced himself he was just being insecure over nothing. He knew you loved his acting. You probably just said Ryan was your favorite actor because saying Tom would be too obvious.

It had completely slipped his mind until a month later, when you and him were doing a couples video for Buzzfeed. It was like The Newlywed Game, despite not being married. You and Tom were tied as the interview started to dwindle down.

“What is Toms go-to activity on a day off?” The interviewer asked. You and Tom immediately got to writing on your white boards.

“Whenever you’re ready.” The interviewer said. You flipped your board around with confidence.

“I said golf.” You said, looking at Tom while you waited for him to flip his board. Toms face lit up as he held his board up to the camera.

“Golf!” He exclaimed, never failing to get excited when you got the right answer. “You got it right.” He high fived you before closing his fingers around yours and kissing your hand. “Good job, love.”

“This is too easy.” You said smugly. You knew your boyfriend too well.

“And, last question, who is Y/n’s celebrity crush?”

“Oh, duh.” Tom scoffed, gesturing to himself with a suave smirk on his face. You didn’t catch his reaction, as you were busy writing down your answer.

“Ready?” The interviewer asked.

“Yep.” Tom said confidently as he held up his board to the camera. “Me” was written on it in his messy handwriting. You peaked at his board and laughed.

“Oh.” You said, flipping your own board around. “I said Ryan Reynolds.”

Tom felt genuinely shocked at your answer, even looking at your board for confirmation.

“What?” He asked, looking between you and the board as you laughed. “I thought I was your celebrity crush.”

“You can’t be my crush if you’re my boyfriend.” You teased, not registering his reaction as serious.

“Yes I can.” Tom defended, feeling uneasy with your answer. “I didn’t even know you liked him like that.”

Him being your favorite actor was one thing. Now you had a crush on him too?

“Are you kidding? I’m crazy about him.” You said as you brushed some hair out of your face. “I thought you knew that.”

“I didn’t.” Tom said through gritted teeth. Crazy about Ryan Reynolds? You didn’t even know the guy.

“I never told you?” You asked and Tom shook his head. He would’ve remembered you confessing your love for the quick witted brunette actor. “That’s surprising. I’ve been obsessed with him for years. My love for Ryan Reynolds is one of the hallmarks of my personality.”

“Obsessed is a strong word.” Tom remarked, feeling that same twinge of jealousy rise in his tummy.

“Not strong enough.” You stated. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for that man.”

You went on to talk about your obsession with Ryan Reynolds as Tom sat, engulfed in his thoughts. This was the second time you’d chosen Ryan over Tom. He couldn’t help the pang of envy that plagued his heart. You were a lot more into the guy than Tom originally thought.

But once again, Tom pushed it from his mind. He didn’t think of it again until you, Tom, and Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on the Graham Norton show together two months later to promote Far From Home.

“Now, Gwyneth, you had a pretty interesting celebrity crush growing up, didn’t you?” Graham said as he read off his cards in his Irish accent. Both you and Tom loved being on his show, especially together. He always got the best stories out of people.

“I did. I was obsessed with Keanu Reeves when I was 15.” Gwyneth answered casually.

“I can see why, he’s a very gorgeous man.” Graham nodded in agreement. “And Y/n I hear you’re quite the Ryan Reynolds fan.”

“Oh yes.” You said immediately. You beamed at the thought of him as the audience laughed. Tom, on the other hand, couldn’t have been less amused. He put on a cheerful face for the camera, but he felt white hot anger bubbling under the surface. Was Ryan going to be brought up in every damn interview?

“Is that true? Do tell.” Graham kicked his crossed leg a little, ready for trouble.

“He’s just”, You shook your hands and balled them in fists, “he just gets me going.” You laughed. Tom rolled his eyes and crossed his legs to mask his indignation.

“Does he?” Graham grinned wickedly, wanting even more out of you.

“Yes!” You leaned back in your chair, taking in the cheerful reaction from the audience. “Can you blame me though? He’s dreamy.” Your face burned bright, like a schoolgirl with a crush, as you discussed the actor.

“He’s very dreamy.” Gwyneth added.

“Back off.” You deadpanned, before bursting into laughter. The audience laughed with you, loving your energy.

“Feisty.” Graham poked fun as he shimmered his shoulder. “Is she this possessive with you, Tom?”

“She better be.” Tom said, more serious than he intended. You were too busy fawning over Ryan to notice Toms indifference.

“I am, I am.” You assured the audience. “But I would cut a bitch for Ryan Reynolds.”

“Would you?” Graham explored. “You’d just knife someone? Right then and there?”

“Absolutely.” You quipped. The audience was loving it, Tom was hating it, and you were having a great time.

“Alright.” Tom spoke up, unable to handle his girlfriend gushing over another man anymore. “I think we get it.”

“Uh Oh. Spider-Mans angry.” Graham teased before looking back at you. “What is it about him that you like?”

“It’s everything. We’ve never met, but I can just tell from his interviews that I watch every night before bed,” You paused as the audience laughed, “that he’s just a great guy. He’s so funny, obviously, and such a talented actor but he still seems like such a genuinely sweet and humble guy. And I mean, how damn cute is he? Those brown eyes? That sexy salt and pepper beard he’s got going on? I die every time he looks at the camera. I love him. I don’t know, I just love him.”

“We can tell.” Tom huffed. So now you loved him? He went from your favorite actor, to being your celebrity crush, and now you loved him too? Toms suit felt tighter and the lights felt hotter. He wanted to get out of the interview and blow off some steam.

“Maybe we’ll see a Spider-Man and Deadpool crossover one day and Y/n can play Deadpool’s girlfriend.” Gwyneth shrugged, only fueling Toms angry fire.

“I wish.” You stated. That set Tom over the edge. He didn’t talk for the rest of the interview unless he had too.

He went to bed that night, barely muttering a goodnight to you before putting his pillow over his head and going to sleep. You were too high on adrenaline to notice his cold shoulder towards you. You went to bed that night with a smile on your face after kissing Toms cheek.

“Tom!” Tom heard your hushed whisper a few hours later. He felt himself being shaken gently. He let out a slight groan and snuggled further into his pillow.

“Tommy wake up!” You said a little louder, shaking him a little more.

“Yes, my love?” Tom said sleepily, with his eyes still closed.

“Look!” You gushed, at full volume now.

And shoved in Toms face at 7:17 in the morning was a fan drawing of Deadpool holding your most popular character in a loving embrace while Spider-Man cried. There was also a little caricature of Graham Norton cheering them on in the corner. Ryan Reynolds had posted the picture on his Instagram story with the caption “Mr. Steal Your Girl.” in bold red letters. Toms face went as red as those letters and shoved your phone out of his face.

“Y/n, it’s too early for this.” Tom grumbled, turning over in bed and pulling the blanket over his face.

“Ryan Reynolds posted a drawing of my character on his story. And she’s in his arms! That means he saw the interview!” You went on, still shaking Tom. He knew he wasn’t going back to bed anytime soon. He threw the blanket off his face and rubbed his tired eyes.

“A lot of people saw the interview.” Tom sighed as he stretched a little. “Go back to bed. Why are you even awake?”

“Because the notification I got that told me Ryan posted something woke me up.” You explained, eyes still glued to your phone.

“You have notifications on for him?” Tom asked, feelings fully awake. “Do you have them on for me?” He wondered out loud.

“I’m usually with you when you post something, silly.” You cooed, giving him a kiss good morning which he accepted graciously. He regretted overreacting last night and not kissing you goodnight. He’s gone too many hours without your touch. “Can you believe this? Ryan Reynolds knows who I am!” You exclaimed, pulling Tom out of his brief happy daze.

“Yippee.” He said sarcastically as he flopped back down onto the bed.

“I’m going to repost his story.” You said decidedly. “Should I write something witty or just put emojis?”

“I don’t care.” Tom mumbled into his pillow.

“You’re right. I’ll put something witty.” Yet again, you were too focused on the task at hand to notice Toms mood. He went back to bed without another word.

Tom woke up three hours later and lazily scrolled through his phone. You weren’t in bed anymore, no doubt too giddy to go back to sleep. Tom saw that ring around your profile picture, signaling that you had posted on your story. Tom clicked it, briefly forgetting the half asleep conversation you’d had just a few hours ago. It was a screenshot of Ryans Instagram story. Under his little “Mr. Steal your girl” comment, you’d written, “all yours, baby. Don’t tell Blake.”

“What the hell?” Tom muttered sleepily. He clicked on where you tagged Ryan and began to stalk his profile. He clicked on his Instagram story, expecting to just see the fan art from before. This time, there was a picture of you and Tom holding hands and walking in the streets of New York with Ryans face poorly photoshopped over Toms. Tom sat up in bed, fully awake. Ryan had only posted it three seconds ago. Tom heard you scream from the kitchen, no doubt meaning you’d just seen it for yourself.

Tom was not happy. That photo of you and him was one of his favorites. In the picture, he was staring at you with a dreamy smile on his face while you pointed at something in the distance. Your eyes were wide like a child and your face was lit up with glee, hence Toms dreamy smile. Tom loved that photo because it was so fitting for your relationship. You admiring the beauty of the world while Tom admired the beauty of his world.

And now freaking Ryan Reynolds slapped his smug, incredibly handsome face right over Toms.

You ran back into the bedroom, phone in hand, with another huge smile.

“Did you-“

“Yeah, I saw.” Tom cut you off. This time, you noticed his indifference.

“Is everything alright, lover?” You asked as you leaned against the doorframe.

“Everything is just peachy.” Tom grouched. He threw the blanket off his body and went into the bathroom, avoiding your confused gaze the entire way there.

After a long shower, Tom felt better. He still felt guilty for snapping at you and knew he had to make things right. He found you on the couch in the living room, half watching an episode of New Girl. Toms tea was on the counter, waiting for him, next to a plate of eggs and toast. You still made him breakfast despite his rudeness towards you all morning and last night. Tom immediately felt his guilt worsen, and he took a seat next to you on the couch.

“You got new lip balm?” Tom asked sweetly, his form of a peace offering.

“Yes.” You said through partially parted lips, never meeting his gaze as you heavily applied your lip balm. “I ran out of my old one.”

So you weren’t mad. You just seemed hurt.

“Is it coconut?” Tom leaned in a little closer, which you let him, and sniffed the air.

“Piña Colada.” You said, warning up to him a little.

“Smells nice.” Tom complimented, seeing how far he could push his luck before you yelled at him for the way he acted. He stroked your hair gently and a forgiving smile tugged at the corners of your mouth.

“Tastes nice too.” You said deviantly.

“I don’t believe you.” Tom said coyly. “I’m gonna need some concert evidence, darling.”

“I think I could help you out with that.” You said, fully forgiving him now as you leaned in.

Just as your lips were about to connect, your phone lit up and went “ding.”

“Op.” You chirped and picked up your phone. “That’s Ryan.”

Tom stayed right where he was, despite you pulling away. He couldn’t hide the irritation he felt. His face twisted in annoyance as he watched your phone screen light up your face.

“What?” He said bluntly, completely unamused. You, however, were busy commenting every compliment you could think of under Ryans post.

“Huh?” You asked, absentmindedly, as your thumbs twiddled away.

“What did you say?” Tom asked you again, restraining himself from completely flipping his lid.

“I said that’s Ryan.” You repeated. You held up your phone in front of Toms face with the biggest smile on your face. Ryan Reynolds annoyingly perfect face looked back at Tom. “He just posted a selfie.”

“And you had to stop kissing me to like his picture?” Tom asked calmly.

“See? You understand.” You patted Toms cheek before diving back into your phone. Tom watched you, more rage building up every second you didn’t look up at him. Finally, Tom had had enough.

“Y/n-“ he began.

“Oh my God.” You interrupted with wide eyes. “Look what he just posted.”

Tom didn’t look down at first. He stared right at you, intense anger behind his usually gentle eyes.

“Are you serious?” He asked you.

“Yes!” You stated, misreading his question. “Look!”

Tom grabbed your phone and looked at what you so desperately had to show him. It was a picture of Ryan, of course, with his big arms wrapped around a cardboard cutout of you. Ryan was leaning in to kiss your cheek. A shirt that said “I love Y/n L/n” in big, bulky black letters was peaking out from behind the cutout. The caption said, “I won’t tell Blake if you don’t tell Tom.” Then he tagged you, along with a million hearts and kissy faces. Tom would’ve found the picture funny on any other day. But now, your love for Ryan Reynolds was impacting his relationship with you and he hated it.

He hated how genuinely excited you were just from him posting a picture.

He hated how Ryan was brought up in every single interviewer, and how you turned into a fangirling mess when he was.

Most of all, he hated feeling like you loved another man more than you loved your own boyfriend.

“Y/n!” Tom yelled, slamming his fist down on the couch. You jumped at his sudden outburst and put your phone down, giving him your full attention. Toms eyes immediately softened. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but it was the only way to get through to you.

“Yes?” You asked, confused with his tone of voice.

“I was trying to kiss you and you pulled away to look at some dudes Instagram.” Tom burst out. His tone was assertive, but not mean.

“It’s not some dude.” You dished his words back at him. “It’s Ryan Reynolds, love of my life.”

“I’m the love of your life!” He shouted. You looked at him in surprise.

“What’s gotten into you?” You asked, finally putting it together. Every time Ryan came up, Tom got quiet and weird. “Are you seriously jealous of Ryan Reynolds?”

“Am I jealous of the incredibly handsome that you’re head over heels for?” Tom repeated in exasperation. “Yes, Y/n, I am.”

“Why?” You asked incredulously, not even believing you were having this conversation.

“Because!” Tom exploded. “He’s all you talk about. Like, he’s your favorite actor and not me? He’s your celebrity crush and not me?” Tom listed off, finally getting his feelings off his chest. “And every time he gets brought up in an interview, you get all giggly and blushy. You even told Graham Norton you wished you could play his girlfriend. How am I supposed to feel about that? I’m your boyfriend and you’re so open about being in love with another man that-”

“Tommy, I’m not actually in love with him.” You interrupted. You said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, giggling at your hotheaded boyfriend in the meantime.

“You-You’re not?” Tom stuttered, stunned at your response. He had been expecting you to yell back. He hadn’t expected you to meet his anger with giggles and reassurance.

“No.” You laughed, rubbing Toms heated face with your thumb. “Yes, I love him. He’s funny and cute and a great actor. But I’m not actually in love with him. I’m only in love with you.”

“Then why are you so obsessed with him?” Tom asked, his voice softening.

“Tommy, when I say those things about Ryan, I mean other than you. He’s my celebrity crush, other than you. He’s my favorite actor, other than you. And saying I’m in love with him is just a figure of speech. But when I say I’m in love with you,” you poked his chest as a smile threatened to break out on his face, “I mean it. 100%. I love you. Only you. Not Ryan Reynolds. Not Wade Wilson. Not Chris Brander. Not Will Hayes. Just you.”

“But, sometimes, I can’t help but feel like you like him more than me.” Tom said timidly as he kissed your palm that was resting on his cheek. He was genuinely insecure about your feelings for him, something you hadn’t noticed until now.

“Tom, there is no one in this world I like more than you.” You told him. He gave you a soft smile.

“Are you sure?” He asked, still needing reassurance.

“I’m positive.” You promised him.

“What if he asked you out?” Tom tested.

“I’d tell him I’m kinda seeing someone.” You shrugged, making Tom feel better with every word.

“You’d turn down Ryan Reynolds for me?” He asked in disbelief.

“Without question.” You confirmed, taking his face in your hands. “You are absolutely the one I want. I’m sorry if I made you feel insecure.”

“It’s okay.” Tom told you. “I overreacted. I should’ve trusted you and our relationship.” He felt silly for getting all worked up over something as silly as you liking another actor. He never should’ve doubted you.

“I do have an idea of how we can respond to Ryans post, though.” You grinned mischievously.

“We?” Tom asked with a hopeful smirk.

A few minutes later, Ryan Reynolds got a notification that you tagged him in a photo. He went to his Instagram and clicked on your profile. A rare photo of you and Tom kissing with the caption “Tom knows.” was on your page in response to his “don’t tell Tom” comment from earlier. Ryan laughed to himself and went to comment.

@vancityreynolds: “But I thought I was Mr. steal your girl.” He wrote under your post. Tom was quick to respond.

@tomholland2013: “yeah, but she’s Mrs. Holland.”

“There.” You smiled and put your phone down. “It’s settled.”

A million rumors were already flying around that you and Tom were engaged. Toms comment did nothing to help that fact.

“Finally.” Tom breathed a sigh of relief and tossed his phone onto the other couch. “Can I get that kiss now?”

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn

4K notes · View notes

ellkio · 5 years ago

Text

march 2020 version

hi so i found my old ‘top ten ships’ list i did about a year ago and thought i should do an updated version with a few questions i saw some other people on tumblr answer.

just a quick note, some of these ships are my otps and others i just like right now. these rankings change all the time so this is not official, just what i can come up with right now.

finally, this could be a very long post so if you’re not into that, don’t be afraid to click off.

enjoy :)

1. percy jackson & annabeth chase (pjo) 2. amy laurence & theodore laurence (little women) 3. traci thirteen & cisse king-jones (dc comics) 4. miranda gardiner & sherman yang (pjo) 5. lou ellen blackstone & kayla knowles (pjo) 6. zatanna zatara & artemis crock (young justice) 7. regina tiedemann & aleksander tiedemann (dark) 8. jonathan byers & nancy wheeler (stranger things) 9. theon greyjoy & sansa stark (game of thrones) 10. ellie phimister & yukio (deadpool 2)

1. do you remember the episode/scence/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

i think it was zatanna’s first episode where she meets the team in young justice (s1 ep15). the episode that really made me ship them was the first halloween episode (s1 ep18).

2. have you ever read a fan fiction about 2?

i have read ALL the fanfiction for amy & laurie. ALL OF IT.

3. has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr avatar?

sadly, no because they only have one piece of fan art and i can’t fit it into an avatar size.

4. if 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

i would go into hibernation and hope to never wake up. i could not live life knowing regina & aleksander were not together anymore.

5. why is 1 so important?

percy & annabeth are the greatest couple PERIODT. they have always respected each other even when they were young and had a ‘rivalry’, they love each other SO MUCH. they are both willing to jump off a cliff into the most terrifying land known in history for each other and want their last words to be them telling each other they love one another.

6. is 9 a funny ship or serious ship?

i started shipping theon & sansa during ramsay’s episodes so, in my eyes, they are a serious ship.

7. out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

i want to say all of them but i had to narrow it down (which is the closest to picking one as i will get) i would have to say percy & annabeth, amy & laurie, regina & aleksander, jonathan & nancy, and miranda & sherman. i just chose half of my ships but that’s ok.

8. out of all of the ships, which ship has the strongest bond?

either regina/aleksander, percy/annabeth or amy/laurie.

9. how many times have you read/watched 10′s fandom?

i’ve watched deadpool 2 at least 1500 times

10. which ship has lasted the longest?

technically amy & laurie have lasted the longest if you count the creation of their characters, but i’m going to give this one to regina & aleksander because they’ve been married for around twenty years!!!

11. how many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

snaibsel isn’t canon so they haven’t broken up yeehaw a win for the gays

12. if the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

i think amy would probably be able to murder some zombies and would just drag a swooning laurie around after her but based on the content i have i would have to go with nancy and jonathan, though i would love to read about zombie killer amy.

13. is 4 still together?

yes!!! my babies are going strong!!

14. is 10 canon?

yes they are and they are in love!!!

15. if all ten ships were put into a couple’s hunger games, which couple would win?

it’s either traci & cissie, zatanna & artemis, percy & annabeth, or ellie & yukio.

16. has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5′s ship?

nope cause they’re not canon but if anyone tried they would lose a few limbs.

17. which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

going off my daily routine i would have to say amy/laurie.

18. do you spend hours a day going through 3′s tumblr page?

i’ve only seen around three posts on them so i spend hours staring at them.

19. if an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all up forever, which ship would you sink?

i hate myself so much but i’d have to go with theon & sansa since, and i hate to say it, my baby boy theon has kinda d worded.

21 notes · View notes

olivermajor226 · 7 years ago

Text

Every Time

Disclaimer*: Personal story/feeling grateful time because I’m a sap and Fray is almost over. Please disregard if personal crap like this ain’t your thang.

It’s the summer of 2000 and I am 13. I have just moved for the fourth major time in my childhood, this time from Alabama to Nebraska. I start the eighth grade with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire clutched to my chest like it’s going to shield and protect me from all those awkward middle school encounters that are made so much worse when you’re the new kid in town. The New Kid is a role I am used to playing, however, so when I walk into the cafeteria I know to find a fringe group of girls that are probably smart but not popular that might accept me into the fold. I find them. One draws intricate designs over her hands all day with a ball point pen, the other is bookish and likes Harry Potter too. I take up eating lunch with them for the next few weeks, and we form fragile friendships. One afternoon I realize they are quoting the lines from the scene where Rogue is riding in Logan’s truck early on in X-Men. “When they come out, does it hurt?” “Every time.” I ask my mom to rent X-Men when it comes out on DVD, because in the midst of moving this summer we didn’t get to see it. We rent it, and I watch that scene with Logan and Rogue inside his truck before they get into the accident maybe six times, having to sit through that stupid-ass scene before it each time of Jean addressing congress or some shit because back then on a DVD you could only skip back in ten-minute increments.

Fast-forward to high school. We stick around in Nebraska for better or worse, even though I’ve dramatically sworn to my mother that I refuse to marry anyone from this awful state, even though I’m only, like, 15. Lolz. I still end up with a boyfriend who has read a few comic books and thinks he’s a hipster nerd but really isn’t. We see X2 in theatres, which I enjoy, but find myself getting angry at because I thought for sure Logan and Rogue were going to get together. I am frustrated by the movie, but my boyfriend geeks out about the Phoenix in the water at the end. We leave, and I don’t give it another thought.

After that, I get real busy. I go to college and really get into Rent and Outlander. I graduate and work at a public relations job I hate for a few years. I don’t see The Last Stand or Origins. I have a string of awful relationships. In 2010, I start dating a dude I think I might wanna keep around (and he’s 12 years older than me, go figure. :P), and right around the time I make the decision to go to grad school, he proposes. I go get a masters in English, writing my ass off all the time, giving up on fic altogether because my masters’ thesis in creative nonfiction has taken over my life. I do make time to see First Class and Days of Future Past with the fiancé-turned-husband, enjoy them both, pout a little because I remember Rogue being in this and where the hell is she? and then go on with my life.

I don’t ever see The Wolverine even though back then I know I like the character. It’s probably because 2013 ends up being an awful fucking year. I graduate from grad school that year, but we have a couple of miscarriages in 2013. TMI, probably, but there you have it. I write two essays about the losses, which helps, and those essays end up getting published. I start to think maybe I’m a real writer. I get accepted into a program to go get a PhD in creative nonfiction, but choose not to go because it’s only partially funded and in the summer of ’14 I get pregnant and stay pregnant. The pregnancy is a pain in my fucking ass, but we buy a house that year and I get a full-time job teaching English at a college despite the lack of a PhD, which is good. In 2015 my daughter is born and I no longer have any time to myself. I see two, two, movies in theatres in 2015. I don’t even remember what they were. My daughter wakes up three times a night every night for over a year, and until about the spring of 2016, I’m a fucking zombie.

After that, former pieces of my old life begin to come back to me. I go out a little more often, reestablish friendships. I want to see Deadpool but it doesn’t happen. I hear Apocalypse sucks so I don’t see that either. Meanwhile, we talk about trying for another kid, just one more so Ada isn’t an only child, but I’m super nervous to do that. I don’t want to relive 2013. I don’t even want to talk about reliving it. My brother senses my growing tension and even though he lives 45 minutes away, he drives up to Omaha and suggests a late night movie, also detecting my need for a break from my freshly-turned two-year-old. We head out to a late-night screening of Logan in March of 2017. I remember feeling like, really cool, to be out in public past 9pm. So this is what it feels like to be an adult. I forgot. Quite honestly, I am way more invested in the fact that I get to have a couple of alcoholic beverages than in the movie that is about to start. But then, it does start, and the movie hits me. Like it wallops me over the head, punches me in the fucking face, hits me. I don’t cry in movies, and I cry like a fucking baby. I go home and the house is dark because everyone else has long gone to sleep. I flop into bed, but I don’t go to sleep. Instead, I think about the movie. I want to see it again. I want to understand it. I want to understand why it got me so good.

I start researching obsessively. I now watch all the X-Men movies, in order, and then I watch them again. And then again with my husband on our summer vacation. Lol. I start reading comic books, something I’ve never done in the past. The conversation about another kid comes up and we decide to move off birth control starting in July.

Meanwhile, I wonder about Rogue some more, wonder what happened to her, and I keep coming back to the fact that if Logan somehow for some reason reached Rogue before she was dead, Rogue would have been the only other one that could have physically survived the Westchester incident. I wonder if any fic out there addresses this, so I go hunting for stories, find a couple of awesome ones that sort of touch on it, which in turn leads me into reading a SHIT TON of other amazing Rogan fic, keeping me occupied and my anxiety low about having another kid all summer long.

I realize there’s this amazing community of writers/shippers out there, even though as I read Logan I think there is no way in hell I could write him. He’s too different from me. But I still have mad respect for him. I see in him strength, the I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude I wish I had, but don’t. To me, Rogue’s the same way. She’s fiery and passionate. She reminds me of all those southern girls I went to middle school with in Alabama that I envied. She doesn’t put up with bullshit. I’m not like them, I’m nervous about writing them, but I love reading them.

The first month we try for a kid, it’s a no-go. I get nervous, I don’t like the waiting game, and that nagging question about Rogue and the Westchester incident becomes a plot bunny that’s so damn annoying I get over my hesitancy of writing the characters, and I post a fic with serious goals of finishing it for the first time in eight years. People read my shit and say nice things about it. My insides feel warm and gooey.

Another month rolls by. Four weeks into writing Fray, I find out I’m pregnant on a Thursday morning. I’m happy about this. At least it didn’t take a long fucking time. I go in for a blood test to confirm that day. The next morning the doctor says my levels are too low and I am most likely already miscarrying. I shove the news down deep, and continue on. But for the next two weeks I have to drag my toddler and my sorry ass to the women’s hospital eight more times for more blood work. The levels go up a little and then they go down a little, only to go back up again. It’s too early for an ultrasound, so that’s not an option. I get phone calls from the doctor practically every day. You might be pregnant still. You’re definitely not pregnant. Uh, wait, hold on a second. Uh, nope. Umm…maybe? Finally I get a real answer. It’s definitely not gonna happen. A third fucking miscarriage. I had just finished writing chapter 15.

This is all to say, these characters have been essential to my wellbeing in various ways all year long. 2017 could have looked like 2013, but I was lucky enough to go watch a movie with my brother on a cold March night which landed me here, in the company of great people like you guys. I don’t share to make anyone uncomfortable, but I wanna let you know how much of an amazing time I’ve had and how important all of this has been. (Why do you think Fray has been so goddamn emotional recently? Lolz.) When I haven’t wanted to do my life, I got to slip into the shoes of other characters who are strong and fiery and brave, and that, along with getting to chat with amazing people like you, has been my fucking saving grace.

So, thanks, y’all. And let’s keep this party going. I took a break from writing tonight to write this instead, but Chapter 21 is headed your way soon.

20 notes · View notes

asksansweredpdf · 6 years ago

Text

65 questions youre not used to

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? not until now

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? hm like a 3? i talk to spirits so sometimes i worry that they’re around

3. The person you would never want to meet? someone i used to know who things are now awkward with

4. What is your favorite word? oblong or shenanigans

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? idk like a mulberry tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? that my hair was sticking up from my sleep

7. What shirt are you wearing? pink & blue stipy crop

8. What do you label yourself as? flamboyant & eccentric

9. Bright room or dark room? dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? finishing infinity war or reading fanfic sjdfhjlkf

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 20

12. Who told you they loved you last? probably my old best friend dom

13. Your worst enemy? i dont really have any enemies. i try to get on with everyone or keep to myself if that’s not possible

14. What is your current desktop picture? a scene from kiki’s delivery service with a window near some greenery

15. Do you like someone? not romantically no. i only ever go to work and work romances are inappropriate

16. The last song you listened to? pussy is gof

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? id like to say someone like trump, but i think his death wouldn’t really lead to much positive change. maybe a billionaire with an heir who would do better with what they have? i’lll have to research this

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? nobody immediately springs to mind.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? technically i’d make someone like jeff bezos my slave and then force him to give his money to the homeless, or to pay his workers a higher wage, or something to that anti-capitalist extent. maybe i’d force major ceos to try and combat global warming if it isnt too late

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) everyone says my eyes - and i do like them, but im inclined to say my hair. i love my hair so much

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? id be super hot with colourings like zayn malik or rdj and id probably immediately jack off dsfjlkdsjfkl

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no serious answers come to mind

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? asking people for a favour/for help. answering the phone when im not at work

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. my subway usual! white bread, chicken stips with melted cheese, cucumber, capsicum, olives, jalepenos, honey mustard sauce, salt and pepper

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? probably use it to save for a car, or to help fund dad’s trip to america/england that i got roped into having to pay for

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? i have work tomorrow :/ but i guess if i could get out of that i’d go to greece or something?

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? ive never had expensive alcohol so i’d probably get like a scotch whiskey or some usual vodka (but pre-mixed. i always puke when i mix vodka myself)

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? YEEEESSSS, um first rule would be that everyone gets food/shelter/water for free. regardless of who you are.

29. What is your favorite expletive? used to be shit, now i think it’s just fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? my phone

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? g o d. i think i’d erase either my 18th birthday or the day we first moved into the house im living in now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! fuck yeah i’d go live with harry styles or someone in america or england or whatever. maybe canada. canada seems cool.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? my mum’s father! i’ve always wanted to meet him. we have a lot in common from what i’m told (i was 2 when he died so i dont even remember him). but we’re both leos! we both love dancing and we both love music and singing (he was a musician. and music is like.....all i have). we both like cigarettes and swearing. we both had shit mothers. he seems a cool dude. he had that leo generosity and gave my mum a car and money when she needed it and i never had a good person/parent like that around and i’d love to know him and now im getting sad so. did not see that coming round the corner

34. What was your last dream about? this is going to sound weird but it was about this gross old fat dude sitting in a car next to me (i think my family started driving people around for money in my dream) and he started feeling me up and i told him off.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? person? artist? singer? student? worker? nope. im not good at much.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yeah twice that i can recall atm. once when i was 9 months for having a cyst on my ovary, and once when i was 19 for having gastro and puking non-stop.

37. Have you ever built a snowman? nah i wish. it doesnt snow in australia

38. What is the color of your socks? im not wearing any atm but the last pair i wore were red and black deadpool ones

39. What type of music do you like? GOD okay my answer is any type of music. but it has to be good. upbeat music?

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? vanilla or caramel

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) i dont give a shit about sports

43. Do you have any scars? yeah i have one on my lower stomach from the surgery i got for my ovary cyst, one on my right hand from opening a tin of tuna and slicing my hand immediately (i later got food poisoning), i have some embarrassing ass self harm scars on my thighs, and i think that’s it?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? well i graduate uni in just over a week (next saturday) and i have no clue. at the moment i just want to get a job that has a set amount of hours and a set/steady pay and doesnt make me anxious. a desk job that i’m not terrible at. then i can move out. and once im moved out i wont be in survival mode, and maybe then i can start dreaming. but for now im desperate enough to not even have dreams or wants.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i would make me more assertive and less anxious. and a bit more funny. a bit more like an aries or a leo. i think i will be more like this when im moved out and secure with a consistent job and consistent living space. i havent had that for like 6 years.

46. Are you reliable? very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? god what a question. where should i work? and should i get a motorbike or a car? and id just ask for general advice

48. Do you hold grudges? absolutely. to be fair, i consider myself a very understanding and fair person, so it takes a lot to get me mad. but once im there, it’s usually justified and hard to change my mind.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? like maybe a bird and a lion. imagine a flying lion. that’d be sick

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? out of what immediately springs to mind i have 2 equally strong contenders: 1) me, introducing myself to a worker on the first day at my job - “hi, i’m ____ by the way. i don’t think i’ve introduced myself to you yet” “i know.” “oh! sorry haha im just really bad with names and faces haha” "yeah. we went to school together. *walks away* 2) coworker: so how many babies do you think we’ll have to sacrifice to get a bigger back room? me: ........at least 1 million coworker: 1 million? wow! i was thinking like 7! me: 7? wow i really went overboard there. but wait! what counts as a baby? are there age or weight restrictions or? coworker: hm i think it’s like anyone under the age of 4 me: oh under 4? so if you kill a 5 year old and sacrifice it, then you’ve just wasted a kill and it doesn’t count? coworker: yeah pretty much.....i’ve done that a few times, actually. their parents were not happy me: yeah i’d imagine just as much. imagine having to have that conversation with their parents like ‘uhh sorry about that’ coworker: yeah and it was all for nothing too

51. Are you a good liar? yes, when i know the people and situation well. i usually plan out my lies in advance, but for whatever reason im actually a better liar when im thinking on my feet and improvising the lies. have no idea how or why.

52. How long could you go without talking? fucking forever. i’m great at talking, a very good conversationalist. but fuck i love not having to talk to people. it’s so much effort.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? my mum cut a fringe for me when i was 12.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? all the time! i love baking

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? nope

56. What do you like on your toast? vegemite, egg, honey & peanut butter, sometimes jam (mostly when im high)

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? captain phasma

58. What would be you dream car? a 59 cadillac, or most ferraris

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i dont usually sing in the shower, but i do enjoy a good shower dance routine

60. Do you believe in aliens? for sure! our universe is too huge and constantly expanding for there to be just us

61. Do you often read your horoscope? god you dont even want to know how much i fucking love astrology. astrology is my mind. it occupies about 1/3 of all my thoughts and i immediately try to figure out people’s signs within the first .... maybe 5 seconds of meeting them.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? maybe p or r or v

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dinosaurs

64. What do you think about babies? cute when they’re not mine and i can give them back to their mothers after 5 minutes

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

#mine

1 note · View note

theunlovedbabe · 7 years ago

Note

1 - 117 ( :] )

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

im confused about how the fuck im going to do this mini series of paintings that my stepmum came up with and i said id do

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

sometimes i get them from ash but usually its just me seeing ones she sent after i fell asleep the next morning

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

not really

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

sometimes

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

tumblr? i think?

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

@yngandmnce

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

leave them

8: Are you close with your dad?

kinda?

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

nope but i sure do wish i had

10: What are you listening to?

bonkers by dizzee rascal

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

water

12: Do you like hickeys?

honestly ive never had one but fuck do i want one

13: What time do you go to bed?

somewhere between 11pm and 2am

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

myself

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

nope

16: Do you always answer your texts?

i try to

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

havent fallen for anybody?

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

couple minutes ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

not really?

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

cant say (:

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

i sure hope not

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

yup

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

n o p e

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

everybody? ive messed up so much lol

25: In the past week, have you cried?

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

navy

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

my history teacher did for a while but it was odd since he couldnt pronounce it

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

not that i know of

29: Do you have a best friend?

@yngandmnce is my one and only best friend

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

havent kissed anybody? im good

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

ash

32: Are you mad at anyone?

nope

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

still havent kissed anybody

35: How many more days until your birthday?

280

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

well im currently staying with my dad and stepmum in england but we go back to michigan next monday /:

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

yeah

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

nope

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

kinda?

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

still never kissed anybody

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

in matters of the law and shit yes

42: Are you available?

yup (;

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

im still in high school so zero?

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

my lip

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

yeah

46: Do you regret anything?

everything

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

(: still cant say (:

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

define lose

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

waiting on that first kiss still mate

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

because i currently dont like anybody lol

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

somebody kiss me so i can answer these

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

any takers? still looking for a first kiss here

53: What was the last thing you ate?

a cookie

54: Did you get any compliments today?

nope

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

hell

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

yup

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

girls tbh

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

michigan

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

couple days ago

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

nope

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

62: Who do you text the most?

ash

63: What was the last movie you saw?

in theatre it was spiderman homecoming but in general it was deadpool

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

currently single

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

none??? i was 9???

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

yup no first kiss yet

67: Do you curse around your parents?

sometimes

68: Are you happy with where you live?

69: Picture of yourself?

h a

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

im not to big on open ended relationships but im all for polyamory

71: Have you ever been dumped?

nope

72: What do you most like about making out?

idk somebody want to make out with me so i can find out?

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

read answer to 72

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

read answer to 72

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

all?? all of their body???

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

ash

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

im 15

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

i m 1 5

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

jokes that make no sense

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

depends on where im at in life

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

nope so somebody better fess up soon lol

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

mainly ash

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

what

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

never

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

nope

86: How can I win your heart?

literally show interest in me

87: What is your astrological sign?

taurus

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

89: Do you cook?

i bake? close enough?

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

yes

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

not to sure honestly

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

exists?

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

a life, the will to live, cake, more skinny jeans

95: Are you a player?

nope

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

nope

97: Are you a tease?

i can be but not all the time. usually i am if i know something will come from it

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

not yet

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

nope

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

not currently

101: Hugs or Kisses?

hugs i guess?

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

very

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

personality

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

very cute

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

nope

106: Do you flirt a lot?

i dont think so?

107: Your last kiss?

never

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

nope

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

nope

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

literally any guy that shows interest. thats where im at

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

112: Does someone like you currently?

probably not

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

not really

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

relationships

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

no clue

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

w h y ?

0 notes