#serana.. u can be his god

[recitedemise]

Of course she knows him well. She's the same, isn't she? She, like something bibled, had come sprouting from his ribs.

And he's not yet aware, no, but the eyes he'd feel at night aren't at all his goddess's. It's hope that makes him think this, hope and desperate need like delirious delusion, but such is the mirage of a well humbled man. Fouler yet, such is the desire of a soul too ruined. At mass, Gale would feel as though watched, its weight kinder, far sweeter, and its touch boasting patience as though rich in time. Mystra's colder, undoubtedly, like how watching an eclipse is both grand and distant, but Gale can't help but wish well unto a fever, to cling onto that inkling like a blight on bone. So, she hangs as he leads them, watching him live fantasies as he herds his little flock. She knows his god has left him as he prays up toward the rafters. Every night, every session, his words unmet...

But maybe, just maybe, she can fill his hollow.

Imagine that, begs the hour. Yes. Envision the pretty, sparkly robes made of hand-spun gossamer. This mortal thing's alone, scrabbling for a goddess and wrenching back his hands to find only spirits. See? You are more his savior, more his beacon in the plundering dark. Indeed, she has heard his cries and his guttering little pleas that would fade unto the void. And won't you guide him, monster? Swaddle him gently in the cradle of your jaws? Wear the frock of a god and do away with the loneliness...

You'd like that, wouldn't you? Don't lie. We'd know.

Speak. The thought cuts right between them, slithering like a murder as it notches half a dagger in the valleys of their ribs. It's this lamb that deserves her. Hells, perhaps it's this lamb she deserves in her gullet. She'd keep him safe, no doubt, to fall oh so enamored where the gods had tossed him out. He eyes her with a patience, a twinkle of a question burnt honest in his eyes. He doesn't know she wraiths him, that she'd lumber in the ribbing of the church after dark, but they've both been alone for centuries long enough.

She has heard his prayers and not found him spoiled.

"Dekarios. Gale Dekarios," he greets. "My apologies. You'll have to forgive a man for his more humble indulgences. The last time I'd shared my name goes further back than I care for. Always father, you understand. Getting to say it again is, well, admittedly refreshing." When he smiles, its flavor is equal parts vunlerable and heart-bared gentle. How telling. Head bowed, he hopes the color up his collar is veiled beneath the dark. He does as wont, however, and succumbs to his desire to see her glow. Yet, such is the heart of such men of cloth, apparently. Candle taken, he moves with a smile and fills her hand. "It's late. I know most wonder why I'm so insistent on keeping them burning, these candles," he murmurs thoughtfully, "but one should never start dismissing that light they offer. I could never quite manage it, laying down to sleep knowing someone's in the shadows. I know what they're feeling, shambling in the dark on unfamiliar roads. If we can help them not to trip, then it's best not to spare any effort." He elbows her. "And I prefer your knees unbloodied, Serana. You've a lovely name."

My, such godliness like hers begets a follower in turn.

oh father , isn't it a sin to lie ?? the view from the rafters hath shown her a much different story. a man with so much love to give , but none other than the diminishing flock to give it to. with only the stone walls to fill his ears echoing back his own footsteps. never , have i ever been alone. so resolute in faith that She stands behind him now with a scowl to fend off the hungry wolf. yet serana looks at him , eyes overflowing with heartbreak because she sees nothing but his own shadow keeping him company here in this temple. day after day. mass after mass. while the bat nestled into the warm rafters to listen. even now. these walls feel empty despite the stone idols that fill them.

don't lie to me , serana wants to say. only to swallow it down , only responding to him with an empathetic nod. for now.

being one step beneath godliness has one attuned to such things. the ability to sense a presence. much the same as a mother's intuition. a knowing. and yes , the goddess's essence is all around. like fingerprints. or the ash that was left behind in a fireplace. signals of life in days gone by but has otherwise long been abandoned. ( would She save him from the beast in Her temple ?? or turn a blind eye in excommunication ?? ) and though she knew not why , to serana it didn't quite matter. looking at him now , there wasn't an atom in her body that could conjure what he could've possibly done to warrant such a blizzard over ones shoulder.

no. he doesn't deserve this. what could he possibly have done ?? what god wouldn't want the devotion she's witnessed ?? who would be self-righteous enough to believe that their faithful deserve to be abandoned when they sin ?? wasn't there room for forgiveness ?? serana knew not how to rule as a god. what she did know is that she'd not treat him this way , were he hers.

" it's serana- " teeth clamp down afterwards , lips curling into a smile as she follows him , his new shadow. anything to keep her from revealing her hand. to keep his name from stumbling out , because he hasn't shared it yet , has he ?? he doesn't know of the womanly ghost in his halls , who hums his name to herself like a prayer he had taught her. could the wolf love the lamb whose neck it's teeth necklaced ?? was it able to love ?? or was it just infatuation ?? which one was deadlier ?? " and you ?? father- ?? " silently , her hands are offered. pass her what you need. let her touch taint your holy candles. she'll do whatever you ask with that sugary sweet smile on her face. anything to stay in these halls with you.

[lavenderlight]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 39, 40 >:)

Ahdgkhh okay here we go!!!

1: Which TES games have you played?

All 5 main series games, ESO, and Blades!

2: Favorite TES game?

Oblivion........ like the other games have traits I like more, but also cons. Like... if I had to pick a game to just play with only the Unofficial Patch, it’d be that one.

3: When and how you got into TES? I was at a game store with my brother and we saw Oblivion with all these award “amazing game” stickers on it on clearance. So picked it up. I wasn’t impressed right away (remember picking dark elf tho) so put it down. My bro played it and said “omg you have to get out of the tutorial dungeon that sucks but the rest of the game is so good!” So I made a bosmer and did and there rest is history. TES has been a special interest of mine and a big comfort series for a decade now!  4: Favorite race Bosmer! Dunmer are a close second though. Thanks Morrowind. 5: Favorite province Valenwood........... love it............ Cyrodiil too because I��m basic. 6: Favorite character Ahdjgh hard to pick because there are so many! Off the top of my head, Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth, Indoril Nerevar (what a shock, I know), Serana Volkihar, Glarthir, The Adoring Fan (don’t @ me), The Jemane Brothers, Marcurio, really all the characters from ESO’s main quest and the ending side quests who help you 😭😭. 7. Favorite faction

Thieves’ Guild, minus Skyrim’s. Skyrim’s Thieves’ Guild was awful eww.

8: Which province you would like to live in

If the lore and history and stuff weren’t a thing, Summerset because it’s aesthetic and has nice beaches. Realistically, probs Cyrodiil because I’m basic and I like how it’s a melting pot of various races and cultures!

As much as I love Valenwood, wouldn’t be able to handle the Green Pact

9: Which deity/deities would you worship?

Dibella - because I like how she’s the divine for the arts, and actual true love and beauty in the world (feel like she’s the divine most likely to say gay rights and trans rights). That vibes with me.

Makes me sad that both in the games and in the fandom, she’s reduced to “ha ha slutty sex goddess”. 

10: Favorite Divine

Dibella because see above.

11: Favorite Daedric Prince

Oh boy... hajdg I love Daedra (except Molag Bal - eww)!!! So it’s hard to pick. Just rapid fire listing some favs: Sheogorath, Meridia, Azura, Barbas (does he count?), Hircine... 

12: Favorite enemy

Dagoth Ur

13: Favorite dungeon

Hmmm, I feel like I’m forgetting some, but I enjoyed Nocturnal’s trial dungeon in Skyrim because I like sneaking and it was all based on that.

14. You have awakened and you are a Cliff Racer. What do you do?

Hunt and kill anyone who dares to step outside Seyda Neen lol

15: What would you do if you contracted vampirism?

C u r e

16: What would you do if you contracted lycanthropy?

C u r e

17: Are there any characters you have crushes on?

Not rly because I’m ace.

 If so, who?

18: Favorite Great House

The Sixth House. The Tribe Unmourned. The-

Honestly all of them are whack and have... issues. When I played Morrowind, I didn’t join any of them lol. Telvanni is at least entertaining and very out there which makes them cool. So I guess them?

19: Favorite TES music

Ahaha... I sold my soul to Jeremy Soule... I have so so many... :’)

“The Road Most Travelled”, “Peaceful Waters”, “Stilt Sunrise”,  “Auri-El’s Ascension”, “Sunrise of Flutes”, “Harvest Dawn”, “All’s Well” “The Streets of Whiterun”, “Secunda” (this is one of my all time favourite video game songs!), “Sovngarde”, “One They Fear”

Then from ESO which has other composers too: “Northpoint Nocturne”, “Moth, Butterfly, and Torchbug”, and “Grazelands Dawn” (mostly because it’s a remix of “The Road Most Travelled” 🥺)

Oh, and this song from the Morrowind dlc because the remaster of “Nerevar Rising” from 2:54 onward. (which how could I forget “Nerevar Rising”? Ugh it gives me feels! The Oblivion and Skyrim main themes are very near and dear to me too)

Also really enjoyed this song from Clockwork City - captures the melancholy vibe and I like the clock noises in it.

20: In your opinion, what is the scariest thing in TES?

I can’t stand spiders so anytime anything having to do with them shows up... I play with mods that remove them and in ESO,  I have a list of dungeons and places to avoid. If I have to do one, I make someone go with me and kill them for me lol.

The Lighthouse Quest in Skyrim was also mega spooky. As for lore, soul trapping and the Soul Cairn really freaks me out! I can’t bring myself to use soul trapping because it bothers me :( I headcanon that when a soul gem runs out of charge, the soul is freed because it’s the only way I can sleep at nigh leave me alone lol 21: Favorite main quest Morrowind, hands down. I will infodump and discuss that game’s plot forever. 22: Favorite side quest

I really like the Daedric Shrine quests, they’re always fun. Also love the silly little short quests like in Morrowind when you have to help the guy get his pants back, or in ESO where you gotta find the lost dog in Valenwood and pet it.

Oblivion has loads of side quests I loved... the missing dunmer painter, Hackdirt, that quest with the ladies who are killing men, the Floating Bowl quest... the mystery at Chorrol Castle....

23: Most frustrating experience in a TES game

I get mad any time the sneaking mechanics in ESO don’t work like the main games. Because I always play an archer-thief lol.

That one fabricant machine puzzle in Tribunal.... oh man........ I had to look it up.

And also the final boss for Clockwork City was annoying. Don’t go to the Clockwork City!

24: Funniest experience in a TES game

Other than moments intended to be funny, I sometimes laugh whenever I miss a jump and end up dying from fall damage. It’s so ridiculous.

Dagoth Ur’s “What are you doing?!” when you first attack the Heart always gets a chuckle out of me too. He sounds so... upset and disappointed in you? Lol

25: Most badass moment in a TES game

The ending to ESO’s main quest was a rly big power fantasy moment for me.

Also more mundane, but I felt really cool and powerful when I got to the point in Morrowind where I could one shot kill cliff racers lol

26: Saddest experience in a TES game

The ESO side quest, “The Soul-Meld Mage” in Coldharbour. After that one, I had to step away for a bit.... man. It hurt my heart and I still feel so bad. That was a case in the game where I really felt impacted by how cruel and awful Molag Bal is. Like I *knew* but that quest played with my emotions and made it personal.

27: Favorite area/region

Valenwood from ESO. I spend all my time there, and sometimes go to Summerset or Vvardenfell lol.

28: Least favorite character

Vivec.

Also don’t like Maven-Black Briar. :I

29: In-game food item you want to eat the most

Sweetroll! 

Also this one recipe for a beef dish I found in Valenwood sounded good.  Maybe also the Sunrise Souffle mentioned in Skyrim?

30: If you could try skooma, would you?

No. Don’t do drugs, kids.

31: If you had the skills and resources to do a perfect cosplay of any TES character who would it be?

Probs Serana

32: Have you read any of the novels?

No, but I’ve been thinking about it!

33: Favorite class to play

Thief, or a thief-similar class like agent or rogue.

34: Which type of magic would you most like using?

Alteration seems the most useful for everyday life lol. But illusion would be fun.

35: Favorite weapon

I use bows all the time!

36: Favorite spell

Levitate from Morrowind - it’s so much fun to use!

37: Favorite artifact

Nerevar’s Moon-And-Star Ring. It’s cute lol and I like the lore behind it!

Also enjoy the Wabbajack because of how silly it is, and Dibella’s Brush of Truepaint.

38: You have awakened to find you’re in Tamriel. How do you react?

Because yeah I love TES but also the world of it is scary with gods and monsters constantly trying to kill you lol

39: Thoughts on ESO so far

I really enjoy the world and writing! But I’m still cranky over some moments where it’s an MMO and not a normal TES game :I

I also hate that we can’t have NPC companions.  You really gonna give me a clockwork nix-hound named Snuffler and not let me travel with him? For shame.

40: Character you’d most like to hang out with

Nerevar, because I’m very awkward and shy and bad at peopleing and I would hope he could teach me how to improve lol.

But to actually hang out and chill, Marcurio would be pretty fun lol

[farshores]

D, F, H and U for Tei, C, D, I and K for Otero, and E, L, T, and Y for Mei please!

Hoo, a whole list! Gonna put this under a read more since it gets a little long!

TEI

Daedra: Who is their patron? If they don’t worship anyone, then what’s their stance on Daedra worship in general?

Tei is a worshiper of Hircine, & currently the prince's champion! They really only vibe with him, not trusting others all too much. (Sithis doesn't count here, ik the game lists the artifact you get from it as a Daedric one, but we ignore that)

Faction: Is your character apart of any guilds?

Dark Brotherhood, Blades, & Companions!

Halfling: How do they view half-breeds?

Considering two of their children are both half-Argonian, no negative views!

Underground: What does your muse think of the Dwemer ruins? Do they steal anything from there?

Ooooh, Tei does not like Dwemer ruins all too much. Bad experiences involving a loss of eye n all, yknow? But they suck it up where they can because folks will pay a lot of money for what's scavenged there, Lucien especially.

OTERO

Companions: Does your character have any close friends or traveling companions?

Pelath & Serana! Bran and Sceolang too if dogs count. Mei & Otero used to be the best buds a sibling could have, but Otero suddenly disappearing for a few years strained their relationship a bit.

Daedra: Who is their patron? If they don’t worship anyone, then what’s their stance on Daedra worship in general?

None! You could argue he was technically a part of Hircine's followers due to Tei's gift/curse being passed down, but that was lost after losing his soul during the whole VIGILANT debacle. Not that it bothers Otero, he despises Daedra & their worshipers - so not having to worry about being connected to Hircine was one of the few good things to come out of the whole event.

Inn: What does a typical visit to an inn entail for your character? What foods do they normally order?

Otero usually tends to avoid inns due to his melophobia. But before it developed, & also during his attempts at exposure therapy, Otero usually keeps inn visits sweet and simple. Order something filling for the night, whatever it may be, & a bed - maybe a bath if he has the time.

Kindness: Does your muse donate to any temples or help any beggars?

Oh absolutely! Otero is a pretty strict follower of Stendarr's precepts, & part of that includes donating to temples or those in need. He may be an unapproachable grump, but he truly does care for the people.

MEI

Education: Did they receive a formal education growing up, or did they learn a trade from their parent(s)?

More or less? Mei, alongside Otero, was more or less homeschooled/tutored, with Mei going to the College of Winterhold at 14 to assist in her magical talents, & later transferred to the Mages Guild in Shimmerene by Ancano's suggestion. Her main study is that of souls & soul gems!

Lich: How does your muse view necromancy and the undead?

I mean, Mei is a necromancer somewhat. So, she isn't too bothered by it.

Thalmor: What’s their opinion of ‘elven supremacy’ and the aldmeri dominion?

Kinda thinks it's stupid! Hell she & some other's her age bad mouth the group constantly where they can. That said, this doesn't mean some ideas pushed by the group didn't stick to her.

Ysgramor: Do they approve of his actions? Are they content with the way history has played out thus far?

Absolutely not. Mei can see why mer would be uncomfortable with him being revered the way he is & may or may not fall under the belief that Talos/Ysmir/Ysgramor/whoever the fuck should not be considered a god. Meaning she's not all that opposed to the 'banning' of him - though in her defense, he technically wasn't part of Nordic traditions in the first place.