#september/October of last year was very hard with all the stuff going on with her

[ophernelia]

My mom didn’t want anything for Mother’s Day and didn’t really wanna do anything either. Only thing she wanted to do today was garden, so I’ve been out with her in the dirt most of the day. It’s our thing. We tend her garden together every single year. And after her stroke last year, I’m extra grateful we get to garden together this year.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for blocking my suicidal friend?

TW for suicidal ideation, mental health.I know this sounds bad but hear me out.

I (25F/NB) met F(26M) in January 2017, a few months after I started university through a mutual friend, and we quickly hit it off. We started dating a few months later. We split near the end of 2021, but aside from a few awkward months right after the split, we've stayed friends. We've both seriously dated other people: F had a girlfriend, A(mid-20s F), for a little under a year, and I've been dating my boyfriend, H (30M), for about 9 months.

Throughout the time we were dating, F and I had a few problems. Money was a big one: he would borrow money a lot and not always pay it back (either when he said he would or at all). He currently owes me about £8000 that he borrowed for uni. For most of the time since he borrowed it he hasn't been in work, so I haven't been pushing the matter. One of the last straws for our relationship was when he bought a brand new PS5 and lied to me about it when he had recently borrowed money from me.

The other big one was his mental health. F has been dealing with poor mental health for about as long as I've known him, but he refuses to do anything about it. He often talks about how much he hates his life and how he should just kill himself. He often punched himself in the head or punched walls when he was upset, but he refused to admit that this behaviour was unhealthy. He wouldn't go see a therapist or doctor, or speak to anyone except me. Once, when I was visiting family, he became upset about something and I was worried he would hurt himself, so I asked a mutual friend to check on him. He refused to let the friend in, and got very angry with me.I wanted to break up with him sooner but he'd often tell me I was the only good thing in his life, and I was scared he'd kill himself if I left him. We eventually broke up near the end of 2021. Fast forward to this summer. In August, A broke up with F and F had to move back in with his abusive parents. He initially asked to stay with me but I said no (I live in a tiny flat, I can't afford to financially support another person and to be honest I'm just not comfortable with it). I later changed my mind and offered him my sofa when I realised how bad the abuse was, but he declined.

Also in August, I found out my grandmother was dying. I went to see her with my sister and brother-in-law, and the same day received a message from F venting about his life. I replied with: "Hey I'm kind of dealing with something right now can you talk to someone else? I don't really have the emotional bandwidth rn"When he asked what was up, I told him my grandmother was dying. He expressed his sympathies, and told me that his stuff could wait. He sent me the following message four hours later: "I think I'm going to kill myself""I've totally ruined my life, I've got nothing except daily torture from my parents". Again, this is four hours after I'd explicitly told him I don't have the capacity for it. I spoke to my sister and brother-in-law (28F and 30M) about it and they both said I should block him.

In September I started a new job (I recently qualified as a teacher) which has been very challenging, exhausting and intense. My grandmother died at the end of September, so the past few months have been hard for me. He knows all this, but he keeps sending me all these messages about how much he hates his life and how he should just kill himself.

Early October, I was added to a group chat between A, F's ex, and a mutual friend Z. A told us that F had sent her an email that was essentially a suicide note. I called F and made sure he was okay, and passed that along to the group chat. F was angry that, as he perceived it, we'd been talking about him behind his back. He didn't speak to me for a day or so but quickly went back to normal.

At the end of October, the day before my grandmother's funeral, I woke up to a message that was essentially a suicide note. This was not the first time this had happened. I had a panic attack, though I'm not sure whether that was due to the message or imminent funeral. I send him some messages saying that I didn't want to receive these kind of messages unless it was actually something I could help with, that he wasn't respecting my boundaries and that the friendship had become entirely one sided. I told him that I didn't want to block him but I would. He seemed to accept that, but this morning I woke up to another suicide note message. After verifying that he was still alive (he is), I started writing this ask. I feel bad, but I'm so tired of doing all the emotional labour. I have my own shit to deal with and i'm not his therapist. WIBTA if I blocked him?

What are these acronyms?

[secrets-of-everwich]

13-1 Callie’s Final Statement, and Final Thoughts

[Click]

[Electronic hum underlies recording]

{Callie}

Hello, and welcome to this – final – secret of Everwich. Just like every other episode, my name is Callie Hewitt, recording on the 27th October 2021. This will be the last official episode, though I may do a reading of Charles’ journal. I’ve been through all the other statements, and I think I’ve managed to gather a semi-conclusive map of the last month or so.

Let’s begin.

As you know, I began this podcast on the 27th September. Unintentionally, exactly a month ago. However, my personal interest in Everwich began years ago, when I was small. I’ve already said I live in Everwich Manor, where all this weird stuff started. My parents decided to turn it into a tourist attraction to bring in some money, so I grew up helping out with the tours. I found it fascinating. But my fascination for the Florences, and therefore the secrets that Everwich holds began when I found a secret compartment in my bookshelves.

I think I mentioned before that I live in the same room that Charles Florence lived in. Some of the furniture is the same, in surprisingly good condition, the bookshelf being one of them. I was clearing out the old books to put some of my own in, and I found a loose board. I was only about 10, so I tried to pull it out. It was a bit like a puzzle box, I had to press in the correct area to get it to come out. But what I found was another book.

‘The Arachnid: A Philosophical Study by Charles Florence’

I’m a big spider fan – they’re so cute! – So I decided to have a read. I would have then gone on to find more information about it, but I got ill pretty soon after. However, the ‘study’ ended up not just being a journal of information, it ended up being a journal of Charles’ feelings. I know, it probably wasn’t good to read someone else’s private journal, but it did help me feel less alone. Like, even though 200 years separated us, we were friends… He was going through the same feelings I was, so…

It's probably stupid, though. Anyway, when I got a bit better, I started looking for all the information I could. Eventually, in September, I found a tape recorder, and thought it would be fun to talk through my discoveries. Essays are very hard to hand write for me, so I thought if I talked through everything, I could type it up later.

And that brings us up to now… I promise, I didn’t know everything. I really didn’t know there were caves under the house, or that something was wrong with Emilia. But… I thought that if I revealed that I had the journal, something bad might happen… And I guess I was right, because Xavier- Or something made Xavier steal Adam’s journal. I don’t want that to happen to Charles’. It’s a really special find.

So, onto the last month. Me starting the podcast seemed to happen at around the same time as Xavier getting- possessed? Is that the right word? By that spider. Xavier found the key, and went down into the basement, only to have a spider crawl on it, and get possessed by the parasite. Meanwhile, I was locking myself up in my room, talking into this.

On the 1st October, Emilia also got possessed, because a spider made its way into her house. This begs the question, how far do the spiders go? But I have a theory. The spiders seem to call the basement of Everwich Manor their home, and I presume they travel through the caves. I checked the photos I took, there were little holes in the ceiling. Big enough for the spiders. I think the caves were their burrow, where they got into people’s houses. I also checked the map. Assuming Jill Harris and ‘Harvey’ live on Lilacs Lane, where Jill got attacked, then all 4 of these people who we know for definite have been possessed by the parasite live on top of the cave tunnels – Xavier in Everwich Manor, right on top of their home, Jill and Harvey on Lilacs Lane, and Emilia on North Street. I’ll get back to the caves later.

A day or so later, Rin, Ash, X and Emilia all went to Everwich Manor, and X showed Ash the spiders. I think… I think whatever was using X’s body at the time was trying to possess Ash too. Don’t worry, I double-checked, Ash is A-okay in terms of spidery-ness. Considering they had the most accurate statement in terms of the spiders being present, and tried to stop everyone being possessed, I think he’s good anyway. Whatever it was, it didn’t work, probably because Ash ended up having an argument with X, and stormed off. It's lucky, really… I think if Ash had been possessed too, none of them would have survived this last month…

Throughout the following week, Emilia was working on some kind of experiment, something she has no idea about. As you know if you listened to the last episode, Emilia doesn’t remember anything, and she seemed really genuine about being sorry about that. I genuinely don’t know what that was about, there’s nothing in Adam or Charles’ journals that say about someone making some kind of chemical formula. This is new. So, I guess I’ll move onto the next major event.

We’ve heard a lot about the events of 11th October, when Rin, Ash and X discovered Emilia was possessed, and tried to get her to no longer be possessed. Somehow, though, the spider escaped, and went straight back to her when she was asleep. She says there might have been a person. There’s a tall figure that keeps coming up, but everyone is insistent that it’s not Xavier. I’d say it was the Everwich Ghost, but the Everwich Ghost is a short, 12 year old boy, so… I’m really confused about that, to be honest. But it’s weird… If it were just Asher spotting a random figure that could be explained by Ash thinking someone was the Everwich Ghost when they’re just a normal person, but considering Emilia saw a figure that didn’t sound like ‘anyone she knows’, X saw a ‘tall figure’…

OH, how could I forget?! I’ve seen a tall figure too! When I was in the graveyard. It’s weird… I’m not going to go looking for them, though. That’d be an easy way to get killed, disappear, or get possessed. I’m dropping this investigation. Genuinely.

The next few weeks are a few sightings of this figure, and me getting obsessed with the caves. I worked it out, I was in there for nearly 24 hours. It… It didn’t feel like 24 hours… And nobody noticed… But that was partially because Emilia and Xavier were very much possessed, and so Ash and Rin were distracted… And I’m sure – almost positive – the caves changed layout when I was in there. I walked around the same corridor at least 10 times. It’s a maze on the map, but not that much. But that night, while I was in the caves, Emilia became lucid and tried to kill the spider, injuring herself in the process. She’s okay now, as we have confirmed. I’m not sure what changed, to be honest. But something did, and I’m glad it did.

From there onwards, I’ve got a lot of conclusive statements about what happened.

So… I guess that concludes the Secrets of Everwich. I’m really not going to make another episode, with the exception of an episode reading out Charles’ journal. I think you, dear listener, whoever you are, deserve it.

Goodbye, and  thank you for listening to these Secrets of Everwich. I hope you enjoyed.

[Click]

[Click]

[Radio static]

{Voice}

I’m- -orry… G-dby-.

[Click]

[elliemarchetti]

My aCoTaR fancast nobody asked for

Beware, this is a really long ride but I worked hard for it and spent more time than I want to admit doing my research so if you want to chat about my choices it would be appreciated

The Archerons

Abigail Cowen as Feyre Archeron

She’s talented, she’s good looking and she’s familiar with fantasy stuff, do I need to add more?

Age: 25 (March 18, 1998)

Height: 167 cm (5′6″)

Notable role(s): Dorcas in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018), Bloom in Fate: The Winx Saga (2021) and Angel in Redeeming Love (2022)

Madelyn Cline as Elain Archeron

Her face is so sweeeet 🥰

Age: 25 (December 21, 1997)

Height: 167 cm (5′6″)

Notable role(s): Sarah Cameron in Outer Banks (2020)

Thea Sofie Loch Næss as Nesta Archeron

She’s like the perfect older sister 🤷🏼‍♀️

Age: 26 (November 26, 1996)

Height: 169 cm (5′7″)

Notable role(s): Skade in The Last Kingdom (2018)

The Spring Court

Calahan Skogman as Tamlin

I’m not taking criticism on this

Age: 29 (May 13, 1993)

Height: 193 (6′4″)

Notable role(s): Matthias Helvar in Shadow and Bones (2021)

Jan Luis Castellanos as Lucien Vanserra

If LoA+Helion is the way the show wants to go too, he’s the right choice.

Age: 27 (September 11, 1995)

Height: 175 cm (5′9″)

Notable role(s): Diego Torres in 13 Reasons Why (2020)

Anne Winters as Ianthe

Just look at her, please

Age: 28 (June 3, 1994)

Height: 160 cm (5′3″)

Notable role(s): Chloe Rice in 13 Reasons Why (2018)

Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Alis

Everything she stars in tends to be a success, so call it superstition but I want her to play the best maid Feyre could wish for (and which I hope to see again in the next books) 

Age: 40 (April 21, 1983)

Height: 162 (5′4″)

Notable role(s): Talia in Larry Crowne (2011), Dido Elizabeth Belle in Belle (2013), Noni in Beyond the Lights (2014), Prema Mutiso in Concussion (2015),  Esme Manucharian in Miss Sloane (2016), Janelle Brady in The Whole Truth (2016), Ava Hamilton in The Cloverfield Paradox (2018), Dr. Kate Murry in A Wrinkle in Time (2018) and Ravonna Renslayer in Loki (2021)

The Night Court

The Inner Circle

Staz Nair as Rhysand

If you all take my suggestion seriously before starting to rant, you will see it too. I know the age difference between him and Abigail Cowen is kind of huge, but she’s tough and I think she can handle it

Age: 31 (June 17, 1991)

Height: 185 (5′11”)

Notable role(s): Qhono in Game of Thrones (2016)

Chuku Modu as Cassian

Give him long hair and a hint of beard and we’re good.

(No, I don’t want to hear you say Can Yaman is better.

No, I don’t want 37 yo Roman Reigns to star next to 25 yo Abigail Cowen and make sexual jokes nearly half of the time.

Yes, I’m aware he’s just five years younger than the aforementioned wrestler but five years sometimes are a big deal and they are now.)

Age: 32 (July 19,1990)

Height: 193 cm (6′4″)

Notable role(s): Aggo in Game of Thrones (2016) and Dr. Jared Kalu in The Good Doctor (2017)

Drew Ray Tanner as Azriel Shadowsinger

I know he’s cute but I bet he can make the tormented look work

Age: 31 (February 12, 1992)

Height: 178 (5′1′”)

Notable role(s): Fangs Fogarty in Riverdale (2017)

Halston Sage as The Morrigan

I don’t know if I want to be her or kiss her. Either way, what a bliss.

Age: 29 (May 3, 1993)

Height: 166 cm (5′5″)

Notable role(s): Lacey Pemberton in Paper Towns (2015)

Park So-Dam as Amren

The likelihood that she won't accept is very high, but if she were to, it would be wonderful

Age: 31 (September 8, 1991)

Height: 162 (5′4″)

Notable role(s): Kim Ki-jung in Parasite (2019)

The Valkyrie

Kirby Johnson as Gwyneth Berdara

If you have some influence in the matter, please help this girl to be casted in something different than a horror. 

Age: 27 (February 12, 1996)

Height: 173 cm (5′8″)

Notable role(s): Hannah Grace in The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)

Ella Balinska as Emerie

All hail our Illyrian queen, badass fighter, former netball player and part-time model

Age: 26 (October 4, 1996)

Height: 181 cm (5′11″)

Notable role(s): Jane Kano in Charlie’s Angels (2019)

Keeping Up with the Vanserras

I’m not going to cast the dead brothers, but if you have someone you feel like would fit in, I might add them to fill the void

Trevor Stines as Vanserra Brother n.1

I know he’s younger than Jan Luis Castellanos and taller than Ruairi O’Connor, but I want him to be a Vanserra so bad I have to put him here

Age: 26 (July 15, 1996)

Height: 185 cm (6′1″)

Notable role(s): Brett in The Amityville Terror (2016) and Jason Blossom in Riverdale (2017)

Dacre Montgomery as Vanserra Brother n.2

I think he’s good at playing the bad guy so he should be casted, period

Age: 28 (November 22, 1994)

Height: 176 cm (5′9″)

Notable role(s):  Jason Scott / Red Ranger in Power Rangers (2017), Billy Hargrove in Stranger Things (2017) and Steve Binder in Elvis (2022)

Cameron Monaghan as Vanserra Brother n.3

IDK, I think he would like to play the deranged dude again, at least for a while

Age: 29 (August 16, 1993)

Height: 179 cm (5′10″)

Notable role(s): Ian Gallagher in Shameless (2011), Mason Ashford in Vampire Academy (2014), Asher in The Giver (2014), Jerome Valeska in Gotham (2015) and James Walker in Amityville: The Awakening (2017)

Ruairi O’Connor as Eris Vanserra

I just want to see this man more, I’m not even sorry for it

Age: 31 (July 9, 1991)

Height: 178 (5′10″)

Notable role(s): Henry VIII in The Spanish Princess (2019) and Arne Cheyenne Johnson in The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

Kristofer Hivju as Beron Vanserra

☑️ red hair

☑️ good beard

☑️ evil dilf vibe

Age: 44 (December 7, 1978)

Height: 183 cm (5′11″)

Notable role(s): Jonas in The Thing (2011), Tormund Giantsbane in Game of Thrones (2011), Connor Rhodes in The Fate of the Furious (2017) and Kristoffer in Cocainebear (2023)

Gemma Arterton as Lady of Autumn

By mortal standards she'd be a little too young to play Lucien and Eris' mother, but as the Fae age differently (and in a poorly explained way) in this universe, I'd appreciate her resemblance to Jan Luis Castellanos being exploited

Age: 37 (February 2, 1986)

Height: 170 cm (5′7″)

Notable role(s): Strawberry Fields in Quantum of Solace (2008), Io in Clash of the Titans (2010), Tamina in Prince of Persia (2010) and Gretel in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Ismael Cruz Cordova as Helion

I know he’s light skinned but if we want to make the retcons and the plot twist work in the show he needs to be

Age: 36 (April 7, 1987)

Height: 178 (5′10″)

Notable role(s): Davide Rizzio in Mary Queen of Scots (2018) and Arondir in The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)

Hybern (and the possible prequel about the war)

Katharine McPhee as Amarantha

I have to be honest, I choose the actress for Clythia first but I think they kind of look alike so, why not?

Age: 39 (March 25, 1984)

Height: 170 cm (5′7″)

Notable role(s): Harmony in The House Bunny (2008) and Beth in Shark Night (2011)

Eleanor Tomlinson as Clythia

I don’t know about you but I want something more than a couple flashbacks of the war and since a TV show is not a first person POV, I want to go deeper into what happened at the time and for that, we need to cast the right girl

Age: 30 (May 19, 1992)

Height: 171 (5′7″)

Notable role(s): Isabel Neville in The White Queen (2013), Georgiana Darcy in Death Comes to Pemberley (2013),  Demelza Carne Poldark in Poldark (2015),  Georgie Raoul-Duval in Colette (2018) and Amy in The Wars of the World (2019)

Matt Smith as The King of Hybern

For my peace of mind, he needs to play someone who couldn’t be seen as an heartthrob

Age: 40 (October 28, 1882)

Height: 181 cm (5′11″)

Notable role(s): The Doctor in Doctor Who (2010), Thomas in Womb (2010), Alex/Skynet in Terminator Genisys (2015), Mr Collins in Pride + Prejudice + Zombies (2016), Prince Philip in The Crown (2016), Morgan in Patient Zero (2018), Jack in Last Night in Soho (2021), Richard Galloway in The Forgiven (2021), Milo/Lucien in Morbius (2022) and Daemon Targaryen in House of the Dragon (2022)

Dylan O’Brien as Jurian

Just watch his filmography and tell me he wouldn’t be the perfect Jurian 

Age: 31 (August 26, 1991)

Height: 178 cm (5′10″)

Notable role(s):  Stiles Stilinski in Teen Wolf (2011), Stuart Twombly in The Internship (2013), Thomas in The Maze Runner (2014), Mitch Rapp in American Assassin (2017) and Joel Dawson in Love and Monsters (2020)

The High Lords and their Courts

The Winter Court

Luke Baines as Kallias

He can be the James Marsters of our time

Age: 32 (June 8, 1990)

Height: 179 cm (5′11″)

Notable role(s): Jonathan Morgenstern in Shadowhunters (2019)

Sasha Luss as Viviane

Before I found out the Samos siblings are half asian, I wanted her to play Evangeline in the Red Queen adaptation. Now is my time to shine

Age: 30 (June 6, 1992)

Height: 178 cm (5′10″)

Notable role(s): Princess Lihio-Minaa in Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) and Anna Poliatova in Anna (2019)

The Summer Court

Micheal Ward as Tarquin

I'm starting to think I should have put the fanart that inspired me because in this case the resemblance is uncanny

Age: 25 (November 18, 1997)

Height: 175 (5′9″)

Notable role(s): Brendan in The A List (2018)

Coco Jones as Cresseida

Disney Channel mistreated her, I won't

Age: 25 (January 4, 1998)

Height: 178 cm (5′10″)

Notable role(s): Roxanne “Roxie” Andrews in Let It Shine (2012) and Hilary Banks in Bel-Air (2022)

Kelvin Harrison Jr. as Varian

Can he have white dreads instead of just white hair?

Age: 28 (July 23, 1994)

Height: 170 cm (5′7″)

Notable role(s): Mason in Assassination Nation (2018) and B.B. King in Elvis (2022)

The Dawn Court 

Evan Evagora as Thesan

Aaaaaand... you made it to the end. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my silly comments and please don’t start a war in the comments, this is just for fun

Age: 26 (August 10, 1996)

Height: 186 cm (6′1″)

Notable role(s): Elnor in Star Trek: Picard (2020)

[readingoals]

Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag (2024)

I know I'm a bit late with this but I figured I might as well still do it 🤷‍♀️I wasn't tagged but hey if you also haven't done it and want to consider this a tag, feel free lmao

This is hard to narrow down because I've read some absolute crackers and nothing is like super standing out from the rest. Maybe The Next Big Thing by James Colley just for how fun and Aussie it was, or maybe Dumb Witness by Agatha Christie because it was a clever mystery with some really great Poirot/Hastings banter.

Another toughie because though I've not read many sequels, the ones I have picked up have all be great. Recently I caught up on the last two The Adventure Zone graphic novels and god I just love that series so much. I loved the podcast and I think they're done a great job of adapting them.

Also right up there are Everyone on this Train is a Suspect by Benjamin Stevenson and The Kiss Curse by Erin Sterling, both of which I adored.

I've surprisingly not re-read all that many books this year (yet anyway, there's a couple I wouldn't mind getting to). So I think it has to be The Shadow of the Wind. That's been one of my fave books for years now and it had been a while since I last picked it up so it was so great to revisit it again.

As it has been for the last few years, the genre I've been reading most is mystery. Most of those are Agatha Christie's since I try and read one a month.

Oh theres a few of these. A Botanical Daughter was probably my most anticipated release of the year but it took aaaggggesss for me to get my hands on a copy because the place i pre-ordered it from went into voluntary administration so my copy was never shipped. I mean I probably wasn't going to read it until October anyway but while waiting for it to arrive I also read some reviews that said it kind of missed the mark so I'm a little less excited now. The other book I still havent got around to picking up is Kill Your Husband by Jack Heath even though I was really excited for it too. And then there's also Clairmont by Lesley McDowell which I hadn't known was coming out but I saw in store and immediately bought and then also didn't read it.

Definitely Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio. I think Ben Aaranovitch also has something new coming around September but I'll admit I'm a little behind on all of the rivers of london novellas and stuff. The Benjamin Stevenson has a Christmas book coming and I think the next book in the Ex Hex series is also due out and I'll probably pick it up pretty quick.

Hopeless Aromantic. Huge disappointment. I was really interested in a queer nonfic book that focused on aromanticism rather than asexuality and it just missed the mark by so much. It was poorly researched and cobbled together and frankly not worth anyone's time.

The Mysterious Mr Quin by Agatha Christie. I've read a few of her short story collections before so I went in expecting the usual sort of thing and it definitely felt like it was going along similar lines to start. But it got weird. In a good way. It feels as if the stories flirt with fantasy elements, and the last one even crosses over maybe? almost? Mr Harley Quin came off as kind of creepy too. It was definitely not quite like her usual stuff and I really really enjoyed it.

I've read from I think 9 or 10 authors that were new to me and yet I'm not really sure how to answer this, no one super stands out. Maybe Erin Sterling? I've read two of her romances this year (tho does she really count since it's the pen name for rachel hawkins and i've read one of her mysteries?), the book I read from James Colley was also really good and I'd probably pick up whatever he wrote next, so maybe him? From a nonfic author, Carnage by Mark Dapin (an Aussie true crime book) was very interesting and I liked he way he handled such difficult topics, so maybe him?

Probably Alex Easton from the T Kingfisher novellas?

I don't think anything I've read this year has really made me cry. I thought Loveless might but it didn't this time around. I guess I did get a bit blurry eyed during The Adventure Zone: Eleventh Hour graphic novel and same with Carnage, but not full tears.

Oh, so many lmao. The TAZ graphic novels, Ghosts: The Button House Archives, The Thread That Binds, Everyone On This Train is a Suspect, Cain's Jawbone (happy that I got it solved though I never got confirmation I was right lmao).

Okay this one is easy. My Folio Society edition of The Shadow of the Wind. Also, since I answered this last year I've also got the Folio Society edition of Frankenstein and I know I got it last year but I couldn't not mention it.

I also found some of Georgette Heyer's mysteries in a great edition at the lifeline book fest

I have 6 more Agatha Christie books to read (I'm partway through one of them now). Then there's also the copy of Northanger Abbey that Lauren annotated for Christmas last year, that'll be coming up soon, and whatever book we decide to annotate and swap for this years present. I'd like to spend October reading at least a couple of Frankenstein/Mary Shelley inspired books so I'll probs try and get to A Botanical Daughter then, maybe Clairmont and maybe Chicano Frankenstein or any of the others I have. I'd also really like to get to Every Time I Go On Vacation Someone Dies but I'm saving it for like the end of the year when it's summer.

[moomoorare]

Okay so info about my aus:

The dsmp server still went through all the lore stuff (from lmanberg to the disc finale, and this is my version of the story, cdrm brought back cWilbur, MD and cSchlatt, and was then killed off in the room by ctommy. End. Every one goes back to their lives.) it was like in 2013/15 though

And all the lore stuff we know of happened within two years in universe. So these people had time to grow and heal before having kids. Good lord thank God they have doctors in this place.

Btw, people can just go from one smp to another normally, they just were trapped in this one when cdreakm went delulu or whatever they say these days

All the members we got towards the end of the smp in my au were just on on off the place but then got trapped with the others. Now some of them stay by choice. Others don't. The kids can also leave, and they will when older, this just a dimension anyone with whitelist can hop in and out of. Whitelist works a bit like, you gotta be invited by the members of the place or you had to have been there already before. Anyways

Present day in my au is around mid 2025!!

Flowerpot au

Hannah and Tina started dating around 2016, they'd known each other for a lot of time though.

Fern and Willow are twins, they're born on September 18th 2018. (Actual day and month i created them)

Finch is born on October 21st 2022. That's when i created him, i think that's special to me <3

The twins were born as little animals, they were seeds enchanted by Hannah to grow into babies. This is a very special fae enchantment, where some objects of both parents, DNA ( their hair in this case) and a little ritual of both chanting and imagining how the children would look like. They are a strong pair, fae and demon. The twins take Hannah's magic and general fae abilities and many of Tina's physical traits, though Willow is the one who looks more like her. They were planted in pots and guarded by Tina on the nether roof until they bloomed. In the nether because Tina is a demon cat. Meanwhile Hannah build a house adequate for kids, danger proof, big and with many rooms for any need that may arise. Back to the Nether, Tina messages Hannah on her communicator, all excited, Hannah joins her on the nether roof. The twins sprout in two months, which is how long cat and wolf pregnancies last, kinda handy they concide. They're magic babies, their development is faster in their first months of life. They stay in their animal forms until around eight weeks and they start shapeshifting into human looking babies. From there their development slows down to a more human one. They're fairies btw

Finch's story is a little sadder. He's a lone egg found by the twins in the forest at the beginning of october, in a broken nest on a berry bush. They bring the little egg to their mothers who are out enjoying the last of the sun's warmth as the days get shorter and colder. The twins are unaware of the implications of all this, and Tina and Hannah immediately start tearing up. Tina asks Hannah if there's anything they can do, Hannah tries her best with magic. A lot of magic. And the help of Foolish. After a lot of effort they put the egg in a flowerpot, not inside the magical dirt, but on it, in a nest made of feathers the twins find in the forest, fairy dust Hannah sprinkles on it and Tina's soft fur for warmth. They keep it under a lamp inside the house for a week, afraid the nether might do damage to it. But the heat doesn't seem to be enough so after a bit of debating, they decide to do what they did for the twins, and bring the flowerpot on the roof of the nether. Tina guards it while Hannah takes care of the girls in their home, going back and forth to bring food and anything Tina needs. After two weeks, the egg hatches. Little Finch is born! October, what an eventful month.

Also!! I know that's not the design i had for him but I'm gonna give him actual bird wings not fairy ones, he also has a very hard time with magic. Like the other girls he's gifted an animal toy for his first birthday, Fern has her toad Bean and Willow has her snake Mr. Yellownose. Finch's gift is a pigeon with a top hat which he calls Mr. Pigeon. Willow and Fern bring it to life for him as a their gift.

Piratecove au

First, why this name? Simply because the family lives on a beach where Puffy and Niki settled after getting together, which Niki nicknamed the Piratecove because Puffy built a room specifically for all her loot she got from a few short raids in nearby isles. All of the server now calls their home the Piratecove :)

I'd say Puffy and Niki started dating around 2015, just after the disc finale. They found a lot of comfort in each other, so they left everything behind and started sailing a few months after dating. They were friends already, flirting for a while.

Unlike the canon origin story for Michelle, which really sucks, this is a totally different thing. Nothing to do with Michael, who's older and adopted by cBeeduo like a year before Puffy found Michelle.

Michelle was adopted as a little toddler in 2016. Puffy found her alone out of a nether portal, as if she was put there. She thinks this because she had gone through the same portal a few hours earlier to go into the Nether to collect mushrooms and nether wood. She found Michelle crying, hurting, starting to get infected but thanks to Puffy's immediate action, brought to and cured by Ponk. She's blind on her right eye and that side of the face is scarred because of the infection.

If i had to give a birthdate to Millie it'd be January 4th. But the family doesn't know because she was found on an island when she was around 5. She only remembers that someone wished happy birthday to her when it was really cold when she was really young. She wasn't completely alone on the island, there was a small community of pirates who settled down, many old ladies, cursed families, some magic users banished from far away lands. Millie is a shapeshifter, so she was mostly seen as a feral cat that rummaged for food in bins after a kind old lady that put left overs out for her late in the evenings, passed away.

Pomme's bday is on January 8th! The date i first came up with the Piratecove au. Her birth is um, something special. She's basically the blessing of an enchanted golden apple. Year was 2017. So both her and Millicent are born in January 2017.

Marigold was born on May 22nd 2020! She's the child born from Niki and Puffy's wedding.

She was a gift from Hannah and Tina. She bloomed from a marigold seed Hannah enchanted for them, as a Wedding gift. Unlike the Flowerpot Au kids though, she blooms on the overworld, not the nether, and it takes her 8 weeks of sun and watering to bloom into a kitten. She starts shapeshifting into a baby when she's around three months. She's a kitty cat because Niki is a cat hybrid, so that essence was infused in the marigold seed.

Rain is born on February 18th 2023. Father Puffy carried him, also it was a VERY rainy day. Hurricanes actually lol. His pregnancy was actually a big scare, sudden and forced on Puffy by a curse she caught on a short trip to a close-by island. They think it was supposed to be a deadly curse, as the pregnancy was a very fast one, too fast to not have magic involved, brutally fatiguing and almost killed Puffy on the birthbed. Thank goodness Ponk was helping out, guess they didn't have very good doctors in the past, so this ancient curse was ALMOST deadly. Hannah was also there, keeping her present and alive with her own magic. Sam, Foolish and Eret were also called for help.

This is all for now!

Anyways if you think this is a lot just wait until i post the more detailed descriptions of each child and au. Yeah

Tldr:

Present day: mid 2025

Birthdays:

Flowerpot AU

Fern & Willow: September 18th 2018 (7)

Finch: October 21st 2022 (3)

Piratecove AU

Millicent: January 4th 2017 (8)

Pomme: January 8th 2017 (8)

Marigold: May 22nd 2020 (5)

Rain: February 18th 2023 (2)

[bringmoresorrows]

Life Update

It's been a long time since I posted a life update. Lots of new things has happened in my life especially since i haven't updated in a year. Last year, I got myself into a situationship with this guy I became really close to really quickly and broke up with my ex of 4 years. We were dating from 2018-2022. Wow. A lot of things happened between my ex and I thankfully nothing traumatizing between us but we were falling out of love a year before the break up. As it got closer and closer to the end, I felt nothing to my ex. I was sick of how my ex constantly made me feel guilty for being myself. Plus my ex was transphobic and homophobic. Theres reasons for it as she came out as trans after we broke up. She never wanted to go out on dates with me, we stayed in the house and she didn't want to get to know my friend until like the week before we broke up. We had an apartment for a week and a half last April because the landlord said it was okay that we had the ferret then last minute they pulled back saying "nah get rid of the ferret" so we left. But it took a lot of me arguing with her for her to stand up to the landlord as my name wasn't on the lease, her name was. After that, anything i felt towards her was gone. I moved in with my parents in July and that was when my situationship with my friend started.

My heart was broken around September/October and I quickly moved onto someone new. But in between, I had no place to live aside form my parents couch and all my stuff was in storage. I even lost my ferret. My ex kept her. I got promoted to manager at my workplace and got a 2% pay increase which landed me at $20/hr where I was working 34-36 hrs a week and towards the holiday season after working 40-42 hrs a week. So I was bringing home a lot of money and had zero bills. I started building up my savings and come October, I moved in with two of my friends.

October was an interesting month last year, we had no furniture and we couldn't afford anything as we just dumped our savings into this place. It's a three bedroom apartment with 1.5 bathrooms. We have an in house washer and dryer and a dishwasher. It was awesome! We have so much space. The friend group kept making plans at my place and a few things led to another and that situationship friend and I broke things off. Mid october, I started talking to this guy over instagram. And we started hitting it off a lot. Turns out, my guy roommate and him are *best friends* so for our halloween party, he came on over! He lives a few boroughs away so its a 3 hour travel to his place and a 3 hour travel to mine. So 6 hrs total. So he came over the 30th and left November 1st. I got so drunk on the 31st and stuff happened between us before we were dating which is kinda another first for me as we just met in person for the first time. But the first time I did stuff with someone I wasn't dating was the situationship.

Come november, we start dating. Our relationship has been a bit rocky as we jumped into a new relationship and I was very much still hurt over the situationship and didn't want to admit it til a few months back. Plus living on my own has only amped up my mental health issues. I started my ed habits back up hard and lost 20 lbs in 2 months. I gained half of that back but its been hard.

January comes around and my ex tells me she cant house our ferret anymore so I was given the ferret <3. Bless.

February comes and my ferret gets very sick, throwing up for three days straight so we take her to the emergency vet and it helped her out a bunch <3

March comes and my mental health takes a worse turn.

April I have zero memories, In may my birthday happens. It was awesome! The friend group and I plus my bf + my sister go mini golfing! June nothing isolated. July: my internet friend from norway comes to visit and wow did it hit the roof. One thing led to another and they guilt trip me hard and gaslight me into thinking *i'm the crazy one* and I wind up having a severe mental break down where I attempted suicide. I also left the friend group. A day later my boyfriend calls me and gives me an ultimatum and tells me really harsh things to me which led me to crying for days and crying through a whole work shift (8 hours)

August comes and my depression is so severe, I wind up reaching out to a therapist and my pcp to start medication. Ella, my ferret, also has some more health issues showing up. Her tail has been losing fur for some time and her ears are getting backed up with ear wax. She wound up getting diagnosed with Adrenal Gland Disease. ;-;.

September; this month; comes around and therapy has been working and so has the meds. My relationship with my partner is getting a lot better and Ella is doing good too. She got her implant for Adrenal Disease this month. I've just been really tired ngl. Like very tired. But my house is getting decorated for halloween and its great!

Things are going really well for me and the people I used to miss I dont miss anymore. They didn't want me in their life then so be it. That's their problems. There was someone I named dropped a long time ago but I dont miss you anymore. You left my life and made it clear you never gave a fuck about me and only yourself. Goodbye to you. And to the other friends that bridges were burned, fuck it. I let go of it. I need to focus on myself and grow.

Next year around this time I will be moving in with my boyfriend and away from this borough where everyone knows each other. It will be rough to be in a more city based area. Its still a bit suburban but its very much on top of each other. I'm excited for it. I'm excited for the future that I'm going to have. I'm excited for the future with out the things that are holding me back.

[the-firebird69]

degree is kind of upsetting ticonderoga was lost to the British and JC and Mary were taking pay with those battles too and they were saying about other stuff we're gonna make our money on them dying because they suck so bad. They sort of got the idea and they kind of inspired things to happen that would cause it and it's not a huge shock that people talk that way. That's just gross there's areiskinny New York it was a quick one that already happened a lot of people died it's northern New York and it was partially about the Pseudo Empire and there was a big stash in cash there that the max accessed and you guys miss it every time you're a bunch of ****. Bennington Vermont was recent August 16th also about the Pseudo Empire and the pseudo empire start to lose up there that was a big battle and it's a whole bunch of troops and some big stuff came out we think it will go on to October of a bit after maybe towards the end of October after they come and retake the place and then lose it again. Saratoga is very big that's a Freeman's farm that's gonna be where they remove a lot of Arnie's stuff and you can tell what stuff it is by the name of the battle or location if it was their area vermont is Michael 2 and Pennsylvania is Mack Daddy that's Brandywine September 11 that is a big deal it is about money and the proper of the Mac Proper more shortly

Thor Freya

i see it. the money goes to dc and comes out when the money will be issued somehow and no it comes out somehow you mvoe it here. and you sisiue it and i get it but they are the ones tking it from the stashes and caches in vt and ny upstate and i have aresas there we fight over and fought. and it is in my posessoin. so i ck the prior battles like bunker hill. nd have some indicators it was tamperd wiht and see it. now we puoll money put it there. and they tke it. makes sense and put it here mb. where we wonder. or is it in key bank. we ck. then youi use it on the card hmm. they sy he uses it by hand and no comes ehre. so we see.

trump nd we issue the money and the ss and he uses it and it is our code. but thier money and has happpened. both do it and tey know our code is hwy need rub fire smoke or no mirrors. and good we do see it

we do see youg et it a lot yes Zues he does a bit. kinda slow

thinks its all him we see why

lol

macs

and no not funhy. but okw edo this possbly...and who then takes the money from there to here.

trump

just it isnt it. dave a and carroll a had you move it. as they do now

and not him to his brother not that hard you saw it

macs

and your code, mac proper, and we do it. but we wont i say.

trump

we saw it no. we do get it

macs

This year we've been saying it's in correlation to 1775 and other years but it's hard to tell every year it is in correlation to prior years and future years all year long and it's by the month every day has two or three events believe it or not sometimes mostly it does and there's smaller events and you're running some sort of huge theatrical performance you're not aware of now some of you know but you don't know what year matches with what year. And her son says this guy has been getting killed a lot it's too much for nothing to be going on. Information has been told about the pyramids Bunker Hill sitting on one the timing for this to happen this year would be correct however it might be right for it to happen next year and discover things are put in there but Bunker Hill would have been investigated when the pyramids are looked into. My son says the last three lines with our daughter and I admit that they have not looked at these pyramids that much and that's a clue. They start looking at it after national treasure the movie goes and some other items it will kick into gear 1775 which will correlate with 2025 and it is an incredible event. In the early spring Paul Revere does his ride and the stand in is Trump and it's not a ghostly ride and it's on the horse and for real there's a reenactment and people think it's a reenactment but he is all of a sudden overpowered by fear because he sees it's happening and he goes to the North Church and he says the signals real and he's got code and he puts it up and does it a few times and people started moving and it started to work and they got in a fight it was Mack proper no it's a pseudo empire at this time and they checked it out and they did see Mac proper coming in and the wars and battles are with pseudo empire and with the Mac Proper is not necessarily true back in the day they would hire mercenaries to wear actual British uniforms which were slightly different and you can see that they're different they have a different color coat underneath and our son thinks it's green and it is so we are a little bit ahead but there are massive events happening and they are changing things so he still receives pay at about the same time but is a fraction of what he will receive in the future but nothing is not planned it's going to be something but if you look at the dates you know 1775 but no he was hired earlier george Washington was appointed commander in chief next year supposedly but he was in the military for like 20 years he had trouble but he was there and getting pay that might explain Social Security but at the time he was getting better pay and they give him actual stipends and you have to read about George WA.

we can tell you he ws paid erlier than net year and by the continental army not yet fully formalized. and bja does it a lot yes

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[rezdragon]

Project Updates (August 8th, 2024)

Art Show So the BIG news with RezDragon is that YES! My art has been accepted into a fine art show. Like a REAL fine art show, with judges and WINE. It's to promote the local artists of the Inland Northwest, which includes ME THIS YEAR! I tried to submit to this last year and I did not get in, but that's changed this year and I am VERY EXCITED AND HAPPY ABOUT IT! So what does this mean? Well, it means I'm going to be HARD focusing on preparing for the show for the rest of August (aside from one project, you know what it is). I have to get everything ready by September. One of the pieces I put in is an installation piece and that is the biggest prep I have. So kinda expect me to maybe go more dark than usual? I dunno, I might post pics as I work on shit.

The One Other August Project (You Know What It Is) It'll be out tomorrow.

TDA - Everyday With how shit my mental health has been lately, I haven't had the motivation to work on this. Rez keeps trying to drag me back in, but it's just not coming back to me yet. I want to start writing the script and I was GOING TO in August, but then the Art Show Acceptance letter showed up and WELL. Sorry Rez, best wait till September. I have been taking notes occasionally when I think of something new. She's on my mind, I swear.

Running With the Devil (what the fuck is this) RWTD is Ash's story that started out accidentally. I was writing up a lot of facts about Ash herself and then the next thing I knew, I started writing scenes and then a month and a half later, I had an 87 page novella. Oops, how'd that happen. This has VERY much been a comfort project to help keep my spirits up while I've been so unhappy lately, and it's been doing a good job of it. It is not meant to be good, it might be, I dunno. It's me giving in and writing cute romance between a demon girl and her lesbian girlfriend. But uh... you won't see it, at least not all of it. I'll be real with you as to why: it's an erotica story and I don't want erotica associated with the RezDragon name. It's not that I'm ashamed of writing it, I'm not, but once you start down that path, that's all you're known for and I do. not. want. that. So I will only be showing the non-horny chapters, or perhaps the story censored. Anyways, chapter 1 (30 pages, yes 30, 20,000+ word count) is available on Sheezy if you so choose. I didn't advertise this because I was a little too depressed to when I posted it.

Next Album Project(s) I have two new albums to place on the stove, or at least their concepts. First one I plan to have it be as raw and uncomfortable at Kintsugi and Tasukete- DE aka more depressing harsh noise crap. Working title right now is "Nothing Has Changed." Second one is another "story" album, i.e. like Horizon. Instead of space, this one takes place in the woods and back in the 80's. I won't talk about its full concept yet, giving myself a break from music work (and also I can't really work on music right now)

Not a Project, but a Health Update So I've been griping about it lately, but my left hip/pelvis/leg area has been in a lot of pain since April of this year. It went away near the end of May and I was able to return to work, but then it came back after a week. I tried to work through it, which only seemed to make the problem way worse. Since June, I have been in non-stop pain, with barely anything relieving it (it's why I've had a lot of extra time to write as of late). I've actually been in a lot of money trouble because of not being able to work and disability being a nightmare, but I've avoided talking about it on my RezDragon accounts (except for Sheezy) to keep that kind of stuff away from my art. I've started physical therapy, which has been going well in giving me some relief. I've been using a cane since April just to get around. I can't say I've noticed any improvements and I'm afraid I might be out of day job work until at least October. I can't even get a new job where I sit all day, because if I sit up for too long, that spikes up my pain; I have to sit reclined or lie in bed. I missed the whole summer, I wanted to go swimming :( So anyways, that's why I've been mostly focused on writing, it's the easiest thing for me to do atm.

[fizzingwizard]

I am sick!! Surprising no one.

Happy thing today - I discovered a new brand of iced milk tea in the vending machine outside my apartment. It costs only 100 yen (a lot of drinks that used to be 100 yen have shot up to 110, 120, 130 this year) and it's a normal amount of drink inside. With milk tea it's often too sweet for me, but this one is really nice! Just lightly sweet and very fragrant. I bet it will taste great when it's heated up in fall too. Cheap, tasty, and nearby... yess I can be happy as long as it continues to be stocked, lol x'D coincidentally i watched a vid today where a person was on a business class JAL flight and ordered royal milk tea, the same kind that comes in a can in vending machines for 150 yen, only it cost 300 of course because you're drinking it on an airplane!! lmao

now work stuff!

It's been a pretty uggghhh September. I had a lot on my plate, and then I got bad news that my work partner, the only person on staff with me at the school over the past four years who didn't quit last spring, is going to quit in October. Not only is she going to quit, but the company doesn't have a replacement for her... I'm really upset, not with her for quitting, because if anything she's smarter than me for taking the plunge lol, but because I'm going to be left with just my 19-year-old newbie coworker and a random rotation of subs who aren't always even teachers themselves for some indefinite amount of time, with a class of 20 two and three year olds. And the company has been pretending the understaffing is a problem caused by so many people quitting at once - as if we hadn't been understaffed for years, and as if the reasons those employees chose to quit were nothing to do with how the company treated them... -.-'

So, to be honest, although I've said it in the past I've reached a point where it's more true when I say I really am job hunting again. It's a struggle, because no matter how bad things get here, I do genuinely enjoy working with very young children. I don't mind changing diapers and I don't mind tantrums and I've learned so much, I feel, about people in general from observing how different and how thoughtful my students are. I think it's a pretty sweet deal to work somewhere you can get constant hugs, play pretend, and celebrate holidays as part of your work. There are a lot of stressors as well, but they all go away when I see my kids.

But I'm so frustrated with the company. An entire staff quits (technically two requested transfers, a third was just transferred because reasons, and two stayed on as subs with the intention of quitting, one of whom has already done so - but everyone else besides me and my co-teacher genuinely quit) and their reaction is "they're a clique who did this on purpose to harm the company." Instead of "what did we do which drove away these hard-working, kind, experienced teachers who daily went above and beyond both for their students and for their coworkers?" Like. I'm not saying no mistakes were made by anyone. I just think it's ridiculous that the small mistakes that were made were treated so harshly, while little to no recognition, let alone help, was given for the very real issues we were handling. Everyone was a hard worker who I relied on and enjoyed working with. I'm not a slacker. But many of my coworkers worked even harder than me. And the company just did nothing to try to keep them. Also, that one teacher I mentioned who was transferred for mysterious "reasons" - I'm really bitter about that now because obviously we needed her here! If she wasn't against leaving, why did they make her?? She was transferred nearby (to a school that did also have some staffing issues but nowhere near as bad as ours) and is often at our school anyway filling in because there are no subs :) So dumb.

I'm especially concerned about my co-teacher quitting because as I said, my other co-teacher is only 19. She's great, but she can't help that she's young and new. And not only do I have a large class of 20 mostly still two-year-olds, but I have several emotionally challenging ones who need a lot of one-on-one attention. It's not just about how tiring it is, it's also about safety. If I'm the only experienced teacher, and I have to rely on my newbie co-teacher and some random third person who doesn't know the routine or the kids, that opens the door to so many problems. I'm the one who knows how to handle those emotionally-challenging kids. (Side note: at the start of the year I was told that my class was getting most of the challenging kids because my co-teacher has some kind of specific child development certification that made her the best choice of teacher for them. But... she is quitting... so... lol) But then I can't lead the rest of the class when they're having meltdowns. My co-teacher will have to do that. While she is doing very well, she hasn't found her teacher voice yet. She also doesn't know how to anticipate what kids will do unexpectedly. And she'll be supported by some random person... I don't like it at all. And I feel anything that happens, I will be blamed for. Like, even if I'm not blamed directly, there's a difference between not being directly blamed and getting glowing feedback in your file. The other two-threes class has also been through ups and downs and has as many kids as we do. But at least two of three teachers are experienced and the one new one has been with us almost since the beginning of he school year and isn't fresh out of high school. I just feel afraid my class will fall short and despite the challenges we faced we'll still be compared.

Anyway. Like I said, I'm pretty decided to quit, even though I'm not happy about it. The question is what to do next. Of course I'd love to stay in pre-K. But if I'm quitting anyway, it would be nice to work somewhere I can make more money. I don't know where that would be. It probably won't be education. I feel really at sea right now. I never wanted an office job, I never wanted to work for money, and I'm afraid I'll just hate it. But on the other hand, I do need money. I have savings but not a lot. And my job here is physically demanding to the point that I'm so exhausted every day. I don't get to sit down. For eight hours I'm chasing kids, squatting, lifting, running up and down stairs, carrying baskets, scrubbing floors, setting up and breaking down tables... It gets to be a lot doing it every day, although it's put me in better shape than I was even in college, lol. But I wouldn't mind a break :P and maybe just go to the gym like a normal person, lol.

So I'm looking around but I honestly don't really know what I'm gonna find, if anything, that will suit me and I'll suit it. And I'm not unrealistic about salary either - I'm not expecting to make a ton more than I do now. Just idk, more. We'll see I guess. I really don't want to leave Japan. My options here are limited as a foreigner (if I knew IT or something I'd be a little better off) but my fingers are crossed I'll somehow find a job that pays at least a little higher than what I get now.

Since I'm feeling pretty firm about quitting at the end of my contract, I'm seizing the last of my PTO to take my first trip home since before covid. Haven't bought the tickets yet though. That's gonna hurt ;___; not just the money but last time I looked I couldn't find flights that would get me home in less than 30+ hours... sigh. Fingers crossed there too buhahahha

[nootqueen404]

Angel's First Time - Devil's Last Meal

Summery: Steve Harrington is known for wearing many hats - successful businessman, notorious flirt, and reclusive introvert. The latter is a new one for him since surviving the Great Hawkins Earthquake of 86’. Between work, covering up his tracks, and struggling with his own demons; Steve doesn’t have time to do much of anything unless it has to do with satisfying his thirst.

Two years after the Portal ripped through the town (and Steve loosing his mortality) he decides to open up his home once again on Halloween night…and to bleed some gullible souls dry. But one guest peeks his interests, and he can’t wait to sink his teeth into her in more ways than one.

A/N: This was based on an RP I did with @steveharringtonanonblog back in late September-early October. I would have loved to have finished it before Halloween, but , ya know, life happens.

Pairing: Vampire!Steve Harington x Fem!Reader, brief mention of Robin x Vikki and Nancy x Jonathan

Warning (DNI if you’re under 18): All of the characters are over 18! Drinking, swearing, blood, injuries, hardcore flirting, sexual themes, minor blood play, angst (‘cuz Steve was raised by emotionally detached parents and doesn’t know how to express love,) oral (M and F receiving), breeding kink if you squint, Steve breaking free from his nepotism baby status, lots of biting, lots of foreplay, throat training, choking, use of pet names, unprotected sex (for the love of god please use protection folks).

~ Halloween Night, 1988 ~

Robin insisted that Y/N (who she affectionately called Angel) be her Plus One to Steve Harrington's Halloween Masquerade Party. Any other time Angel would be all in to go to a party, especially if it involved the incredibly handsome and charming Steve Harrington. But after the last few years romance wasn’t exactly at the forefront of her mind. She moved out of her parents' house in the summer of 1985 – before shit really hit the fan – and lost her apartment when the "Portal to Hell '' opened up a year later. Since then Angel has been staying at Robin Buckley’s house for free – in exchange for driving her to and from work (and trying to teach her how to drive.) She could have asked Vikki, but Robin is still trying to ease her way into a first date.

During those rides Y/N got to finally meet Steve Harrington. Robin and Steve became an unexpected duo after their time at Scoops Ahoy, then moving onto Family Video. Angel was always too nervous to really talk to him more than just saying “hi” and some light teasing. Apparently he was hit pretty hard when the Portal and earthquake too. His parents were gone; either they moved out or they died no one knows. They just kind of vanished. Since then he really pulled himself out of that hole; he inherited everything from his folks. When we say everything, we mean everything!                No more struggling to get by because his dad wanted to "teach him a lesson." He took some of that money he got and invested in stocks, that made his money double. Then he bought rights to Scoops Ahoy, money back then tripled after opening a dozen franchisees all across the midwest. Needless to say Steve Harrington went past just peeking in high school. But with all of that he's spent less and less time with Robin and the rest of his friends. Yeah, he had his own businesses to run and figuring out stuff with his dead parents; but people swore it was like he just locked himself away in that new mansion he bought and just drowned himself in his work...he doesn't even go on dates anymore. King Flirt Steve Harrington not dating? That’s insane.

Anyways, Robin was on Y/N’s ass to dress up for this party. The invites were very specific about the dress code – "It's Halloween; go nuts! Bring on the opulence, but make it edgy – you must incorporate leather, spikes, and/or harnesses." She told Robin the literal BDSM shit was fucking weird. The brunette just shrugged it off and said "It's Halloween at Harrington's. What else were you expecting?"                   Luckily Angel had some stuff lying around to make a pretty damn good angel costume, maybe a little on the nose come to think of it. Nancy Wheeler helped Y/N make wings out of this gorgeous iridescent leather stuff she found in her brother's D&D shit. Y/N kept it simple otherwise; white mini dress that hugged her curves, strappy silver heels, and her hair was teased. She also had a garter belt that matched her wings that kept her stockings up, white elbow length gloves, and all of the sparkle and glitter Nancy, Robin, and Angel could get their hands on. Robin went as a pirate, nothing too crazy. She was given an exception to the dress code since Steve and her were so close, and Robin has some sensory issues.

“Christ, Steve went all in with that inheritance, huh?” Angel said aloud as she parked the car.

Robin was fixing her eyeliner in the rearview mirror “Yeah, he's a real Daddy Warbucks now. She stopped and made a face “That felt wrong...”

“You said it, not me!” Y/N shot back with a laugh. “Jesus Christ, this dress is short!” She was struggling to adjust the wings while not flashing anyone.

The pirate got out of the car and helped her friend adjust the straps of her harness. “Yeah yeah shut up! You picked it out, remember?” she grabs the angel’s hand and dragged her up the walkway, “Come on! Dingus Warbucks is waiting!”

Angel rolled her eyes and followed along. Steve's security/wait staff showed the two girls the way into the main dining hall.

“Geez if I didn't know any better I'd say Steve was having one of those parties,” Angel’s eyes darted around all of the guests. “It's like the set of Hellraiser in here.”

The pirate let out a scoff “Nah, not even Steve would be that bold.” Suddenly they both heard cheers and clapping and looked to the grand staircase – it's Steve Harrington. “Oh god...spoke too soon.”

Ever since the earthquake, Steve had put on a fake front for everyone, though still laying back and focusing on his business. The deal with his parents was a messy one, he almost got caught, but if there's something he knows how to be, it’s persuasive. So now – the music booming loudly through the mansion; guest after guest entering the house, he never felt more content, and hungry. The party was just a fakery to get the one thing Steve really needed...blood. It's been a while since he had this much food in one room, but that just doubled- no, tripled the fun.         Making his way downstairs, the crowd cheered like he was the biggest fucking superstar, but they would do that for anyone who invited them into their home and offered them free drinks. Saluting them, the music turned down slightly so he could speak.

“Hello everyone; glad to see you here- Christ, there are so many of you!” He says in awe, hands settling on his waist. For him, they were nothing but chunks of flesh, filled with the essence of a long lasting life. “Tonight, will be a night of sin! So grab a drink and have fun!” He urges the crowd; already scanning the room for a potential prey, preferably girls since they're the easy one to wow. Just a bit of the Harrington charm and they're on their knees, begging for me to suck them dry.

"’Night of sin’?" Y/N looked at Robin “Okay he is shamelessly doubling down now.”

“That's what you noticed? Not that clown suit he's wearing?” Robin gestures to Steve's outfit. It could only be described as Dracula meets Jared the Goblin King; spooky, extravagant, and sexy. Intricate gold and jewels dusted his body from his dress shoes up to his eyes, which were lined with black and red eyeshadow.

“Oh yeah I definitely noticed” she replied, your eyes drifting to the slacks Steve was wearing. They hugged his body perfectly to the point she could almost make out his so-called “legendary length.”

Y/N were zoning out again when… “Hello?! Earth to Dingus!?!” Robin snapped her finger in front of her face.

“What? Oh! Hi Robin…” Angel said, grinning sheepishly.

All Robin could do was shake her head “And you call me shameless...” before she dragged the angel to the food and drinks. “Come on, I'm starving!”

Steve flashed a smile and received some more applause, letting the music play again as he walked down into the crowd and started greeting some people. Everyone was on point with the dress code, and he was pleased with it. It made him stand out less into the crowd. His costume...well, is it even a costume if you came dressed as yourself – a vampire? With every time one can imagine, and uncomfortably tight slacks, walking down the stairs, he was starting to regret his decision but that didn't stop him from going to the kitchen to grab himself a drink.

Angel couldn’t help but continue to look around the mansion at everyone. “Hey Rob?”

Robin turns around after grabbing her fifth mini quiche “Yeah?”

Angel fidgeted with her gloves as she spoke “I can’t help but feel like I’m underdressed for this…am I?”

“Pfft No way” Robin exclaimed, “You look amazing; absolutely gorgeous!”

Angel lets out a forced laugh as she grabs a few snacks on a napkin “Really? I’d say I look cute, pretty even. But not gorgeous.”

Pushing past people, Steve spotted Robin with a surprise guest he’d never thought he’d see at such a scandalous party. Steve rested back against the counter just behind the two girls, hearing their conversation. He crosses his arms, a smirk passing his lips “Well, I'd say you look gorgeous” he quips, stealing a grape from the bowl and popping it into his mouth.

The pirate turned around, her mouth dusted with crumbs “Hey!” She stuffs the rest of whatever she was eating in her mouth and gives her Plus One her plate. “What’s up dude?” She gives Steve a hug before pulling away quickly because she got crumbs all over his jacket, to which Angel let out a laugh. Steve chuckled and gave Robin an assuring pat on the back.

“Oh hey you remember Y/N, right?” she asks as she grabbed her friend’s arm and pushed her forward. “She used to drive me to work when you were babysitting the kids?”

Steve turned his attention to the petite angel once Robin nudged her friend closer, his mahogany eyes looking her over. “Mhm, yeah, how could I forget such a pretty face?” He takes the angel’s hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it instead of shaking it. “So, why did you come here?”

Pretty? Gorgeous?

She could feel her face heating up. “I’m-I’m-“ Angel caught her breath before speaking again. “Robin is still too chicken shit to ask Vikki out.”

Robin immediately throws a grape at her friend. “I am not!” she scoffs.

Steve catches the grape and eats it, laughing at their playful banter. He placed a hand to Robin’s shoulders “Alright, calm down. But I think we both know that's true.” Robin rolls her blue eyes, letting out a huff. “How about you go and try to win her over, hm?” he urges, pointing to the said girl.

Y/N and Steve watched Robin’s eyes follow his finger. Vikki Lee is talking to Jonathan Byers and Nancy Wheeler, wearing a stunning green princess dress. Robin turns beet red and mutters some colorful words under her breath. God she is so whipped for that girl!

“Come on Robin! The time is now!” Y/N grabbed two drinks from one of the butlers and gave them to Robin “For the fair maiden.” She gives Robin a wink before shoving her in Vikki’s direction.

“Okay holy fuck!” Robin laments loudly, almost tripping and falling “Jesus Christ…” Go easy on her Harrington! She’s delicate!”

Y/N just makes a face at Robin and flips her off as she disperses into the ocean of bodies.

“Worried I’m gonna bring her back broken?” Steve calls back, amused as he turns back towards Y/N, a smile playing on his lips. “I'm guessing this is not your usual weekend activity?” he asks, looking around the mansion.

“I haven’t exactly had the time to have fun,” she said with a shrug. “Since I started sleeping on Rob’s couch I’d been focusing more on work…” Y/N continued on as she grabbed a chocolate-covered strawberry “…rather than play.” She takes a bite and lets out a hum, juiced running across her plush lips. “But Robin said it would be good for me to let loose once in a while.”

The man lets out a chuckle “Good thing you're in the right place for playing.” His eyes followed her lips, licking his own instinctively before flicking back up to her face. “You know, I'm not offering this to many people, but I could show you around the mansion. It's a pretty big place and the party is only downstairs.”

The young woman rolled her eyes at Steve “Oh I’m sure you’ve never offered a tour to a girl” She said sarcastically as she finished the strawberry and handed the plate to him. “Same ol’ Harrington,” Y/N says with a knowing smile as she place a hand on Steve’s shoulder and walks off to the dance floor.

“Correction; I've never offered a tour to a girl as pretty as you.” Steve quickly places the plate on the counter, following the girl. “So, is that a ‘no?”

The angel turned around and shot Steve a playful wink, as if to say “Catch me if you can '' before disappearing into the crowd. Steve healed back a groan in his throat, eyes darkening slightly before he stalks her through the crowd. “I guess a little chase wouldn’t be too awful” he mutters to himself.

Y/N heard the other rumors: men and women going to the Harrington Mansion and never coming out. But let’s face it, nine times out of ten it was women. It was stupid really, obviously made up by the locals to add fire to the Post-Portal machine. She didn’t believe in it for one second. But if Steve wanted her so badly, then she was going to make him work for it. Rich or barely scraping by: he was still Steve - former King of Hawkins High, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and a notorious flirt.

Angel found an opening on the floor and was finally able to let loose; hips swaying to the music as it thumped through the speakers. She spotted Robin and Vikki not far from her. Vikki was pressed up against the pirate and had her freckled arms snaked around Robin’s neck. Poor Robin looked like she was struggling to respect Vikki’s space, but Vikki clearly didn’t care. Y/N wished she had the chance to at least get one drink in her system before Steve started hounding her. Suddenly Y/N feels someone’s chest pressed flush to her back, one arm around her waist as the other offers her a drink, their lips lowering to her ear.

“…Caught you”

It was Steve again.

A small chill went down Y/N’s spine from Steve’s touch – both from the close proximity and how cold he was. The house was hot and stuffy, but his hands felt so cold. “Oh no it’s Lord Harrington!” She said playfully “Please don’t hurt me sir. I’m just an innocent angel.” She turned around to face Steve, batting her lashes at him and took a sip of her drink – a rum and Cherry Coke. He placed the other hand around her waist, pulling her close and joining the dance. Her eyes widened and she looked down at her drink. “Holy shit! Who made this? It’s wicked strong!”

“I thought angels weren’t supposed to swear?” Steve asked, his eyes inspecting her face and lips “Do you need me to get you a new one?”

“It’s my first day,” Y/N replied, “and I like them strong.”

“Strong, huh?” he says with a slight smirk, his arm slightly tightening around her waist, pulling Y/N flush to his body while they dance along. Leaning in, he presses his lips to her ear under the pretext of having to talk over the loud music. “I'll keep that in mind, my Angel. Now that I caught you, what should I do with you, huh?”

Her eyes fluttered closed, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Damn he’s really good at this. She could feel her face getting warm from the rum. “Dance with me?” She asks as one of her hands rests on Steve’s broad chest and the other holds her drink.

He smirks and with a nod he pulls her close, leaning down close to her face – giving her the impression of going in for a kiss. Her breath caught in her throat as he moved in closer.

“I-“

His face went into the crook of her neck; groaning something unintelligible. The blood pulsed under her skin steadily, the faint scent of rum and something sweet lingering behind. Was it the fruit she just had, or maybe whatever perfume she had on? “Fuck-“ he murmurs quietly to himself, his fingers pressing into her skin.

Her grip on Steve’s chest tightened a little. She tried to calm her nerves with her drink, but all it’s doing is making the room spin and her body temperature rise. This had to be a dream. The Steve Harrington was dancing with her, someone who otherwise was a total stranger to him, and seemingly getting turned on by her?! I guess the perfume Y/N got for her birthday really does draw men in like a magnet.

They keep dancing. For Steve nothing around exists anymore, as the scent of the girl fills his lungs. She moved back and her shoe stepped in something wet, causing her to drop her glass and slip. The glass shattered on the floor.

“Shit!!”

Steve managed to secure her to his body, but one of her hands connected with the broken class on the floor, cutting her. “Oh my god I’m so sorry Steve!” She looks up at Steve with a panicked expression. She didn’t notice it, but Steve’s eyes darken, darting to the crimson red blood sliding down her palm

“No, no, it's fine,” he says, licking his lips. All that he wants is to bring her palm up and clean it up himself, but he keeps his ground. “We should...” he points to the stairs “We need to get you cleaned up.”

With a curt nod, she was helped up to her feet. “Good idea,” she said with a light chuckle. She definitely wasn’t drunk, but between the fall and her heels her movements were like a newborn deer. “I’d love a tour of your bathroom sir,” she laughs quietly. 

People make a path for them, making it easier to walk up the stairs, a surprised smile on his face at her words. “Gettin' bold, huh?” Steve helped her up the stairs as if she weighed nothing, one hand still around her waist and the other holding her bloody hand.

She laughs “You offered the tour first, ya know?”

He helps the young woman up the stairs carefully before walking her down the hall and into his bedroom. “The bathroom's right there” he says while pointing to the only other door in his bedroom.

Her eyes widened “Holy shit Steve!” She looked around the room while she walked towards the bathroom. “This is an awful lot of space for just one guy,” her eyes scanning her surroundings. She made it to the bathroom, which is about half the size of the bedroom. “This bathroom is almost as big as my old apartment.” She rummaged through the bathroom trying to find anything resembling a bandage; “Hey Steve, can you help me find the First Aid Kit, or whatever magic potion you mysterious rich guys use?” She asked.

Practically getting drunk on the smell of her, Steve nods at her requests for help. Pulling out a first aid kit from under the sink he chuckles. “Well, you're welcome to keep me around whenever you want.” She lets out a hiss every time he applies pressure to the wound. “Please be careful. Remember what Robin said; I’m ‘fragile.’”

Steve didn’t seem to be listening. “Oh, by the way...” Steve says, unwrapping some tissues and dabbing them over her cut, sucking a breath in as he concentrates. “I have a pretty big kitchen too, so I wanted to ask what we are going to eat tomorrow morning.” With a sly smirk on his face he asks, throwing the crimson paper into the toilet.

“Breakfast…with you?” She asked, perplexed “Steve, I only had one drink…” Her brows furrowed “and Robin needs a ride home…” Something is up, but Y/N can’t quite place it.

Steve cleared his throat as she dismissed his pretty obvious pick-up line; he finally wrapped her hand in some bandage. “Yeah alright, I guess the pick-up lines don't work on everyone the same.” He takes her uninjured hand and walks her to the bedroom again. “So you said you wanted a tour, here you have it, look around as much as you'd like.”

“No no no, you wanted to give me a tour,” The angel grins as she walks around the room absentmindedly.  “So you admit it now? You really are flirting with me, Harrington?” She asked with a laugh. “I guess some of the rumors are true…” she trailed off as she was admiring all of the classic artwork and the four-post California king bed. She could feel Steve’s eyes on her, making her feel a little self-conscious.

“Rumors? What rumors?” Steve asks with a chuckle, crossing his arms as he slowly makes his way behind her: just about letting himself be carried by her scent.

She quickly turned around to see Steve right next to her. “Jesus fuck! Don’t sneak up on me like that! Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked “Is there something on my face?” The angel looked up at Steve, her eyes looking into his.

“Oh yeah, here” he says, bringing his thumb up to brush over her lower lip “’Guess it was just a bit of the chocolate” with a small shrug he takes a step forward, coming even closer. “But what rumors are you talking about, my dear?”

“W-Well…” she paused and swallowed, her mouth went dry “There are a bunch.” She fidgets with the fresh bandages on her hand nervously. “That you got disfigured after the earthquake, which” she shakes her head “obviously didn’t happen.”

Steve flashes her a flirtatious smile from her indirect compliment as he crowed her. She felt Steve’s dark eyes looking her up and down. “That you did something to make your folks disappear…” His face kept getting closer, her voice started to shake. It was as if Steve was floating as he corners her against the wall by his bed. “That y-you lure girls here…” her voice was now barely above a whisper “and they never come back…” She feels her back hit the wall, startling her to see where she is.

He pretends to not know what she's talking about, though his parents are both buried underneath the mansion, along with tens of girls that lay there blood dry. “And you believe them, angel?” Steve asks, tipping her head up to look him in the eye, his fingers under her chin. Steve’s eyes used to be so warm and friendly; like amber on a sunny day. There were still some remnants of that, but what she saw now made her stomach flip: Steve’s eyes were dark, feral, and hungry.

Her heart was pounding, her fingers twitching, her brain flip-flopping between being afraid and being aroused. Wait, “aroused?” The guy looks like he’s about to kill you and use your skin to upholster his chairs…and you’re turned on?! She shook her head “N-No…honestly I don’t know what I believe in anymore.”

“Good, good...” He nods slowly, relieved that she doesn't accuse him of anything just yet. “You shouldn't believe those lies, ever.”

She lifted one, shaky hand and pushed the mask that Steve was wearing off. It clattered to the hardwood floor. He wasn’t horribly disfigured, far from it, but he was ghostly pale and cold as ice. Tears threatened to spill over, “Steve…” her voice cracking “…What are you?”

Steve licks his lips in anticipation as he expects her to push him away and run as fast as possible. And the truth is that he'd let her. He wouldn't run after her like he would to the rest, and feast on them until their skin turned an ungodly color. He happened to take a liking to her, from the brief conversation they held from time to time to now, being the embodiment of innocence as she trembles in front of him, dressed as a cute angel, it was almost like she dressed up to catch his eye specially. “Hmm, give it a guess,” he challenges, smirking.

She couldn’t answer him. It was getting harder and harder to form words, all she could do was try desirably to breathe and not cry. She wanted to run, try and scream for help, but he was so strong and so fast. Her eyes flicked down to Steve’s mouth; what she initially thought were just costume fangs, they weren’t fake. God damnit why is this turning her on?!?

Run away!

Run.

Run!

Steve was practically breathing her in now.

She licked her dry lips, still tasting whatever was left on them “Steve…”

Steve watches as she debates her options, seeing her wanting to leave. Though her heart and the way she's clenching her thighs tells him otherwise and just then he knows he's got her, no matter what she may want to do, he knows that at the end of the day he'll have her wanting with nothing more than this. “Yeah?” he asks, keeping his voice as light as possible, though sheer need is flowing through his veins.

Her hands stopped shaking and she took a deep breath, composing herself for just a second. She looked Steve deep in his eyes. He watches her curiously as she basically crumbles under her gaze, looking up into his eyes before uttering a few words.

“Kiss me.”

“Are you sure? You know I'll want a lot more than just that” Steve answers.

“I know…” She grabbed Steve by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him so they are face to face “I-…fuck…” the butterflies in her stomach were making it impossible to speak, let alone breathe. “I’ve wanted you for so long Steve” she said, her breath ragged. Steve’s jaw clenches at her sudden confession.  “I can’t…I don’t care if…Oh, fuck it!” She breaks the distance and kisses Steve.

He's quick to take control of the situation, pinning her to the wall with his body before one hand comes up to grab the back of her neck, keeping her close as their breaths intermingle and their lips move together. A content sigh leaves her throat as she gives in to Steve’s touch. She felt his tongue brush across her lower lip and she happily let him in. Thank God Steve had her pinned to the wall, because otherwise her legs would have given out from under her. He let her lips for a brief second, a single drop of saliva acting like the String of Fate between them.  “Steve…” She felt his hands rip off her mask and chuck it across the room.

He's quick to have his mouth on hers again, his fingers digging into her hip almost painfully. “Such a pretty little angel, “he mutters, brushing his nose along the line of her jaw, taking in that sweet scent of hers again. He clenches his jaw so as not to sink his teeth into her on the spot. “Dressed up all for me, huh?”

Her hands slipped from the man’s lapel to his back, clawing desperately to him. “Y-Yes” she said, desperation and need dripping from her voice “It’s all for you.” A moan slipped out of her as Steve’s fingers dug into the fat of her hips as she tried to wrap a leg around his waist. The young man obliges and helps the angel wrap her legs around his waist, pressing his lips to the column of her throat. “Steve, please…” she begged as one of her hands grabbed a fistful of the man’s wild hair “…take me, make me yours.” She tilted her neck up so she could whisper directly into Steve’s ear “Devour me…”

He growls something under his breath, probably a curse while she begs for him to take her. His cock hardened embarrassingly fast as the words 'devour me' fell from her lips. “Fuck...you have no idea what you're asking for...”

She lets out a frustrated groan “For the love of God! What do you want me to do, Steve?! Fucking Beg?!?”

“You already sound like you are,” he chuckles before inhaling her scent one last time. Steve presses his teeth into her skin, piercing it effortlessly, the sweetness flowing into his mouth as he groans as his hips push up into her.

A loud cry burst forth from her chest, tears finally flowing. “Th-Thank you….” she said while choking back sobs. Her nails dug deeper into Steve’s back as he fed on her. All of the fear melted away and pleasure took its place. “Oh my god…fuck!” She seemed to have no control over her body as she shivered each time Steve would stop to lap at the open wound “This feels…amazing! Fuck…”

The sweet taste encompassing his senses, he's practically feral as he laps and sucks at her skin, bruising starts to form on her neck. “Fuck...” He picks her up effortlessly – eliciting a yelp from the young woman – walking her back to the bed before throwing her on it; reclaiming his spot between her thighs as his lips go to the slow flow of blood again. “You taste amazing.”

Her own legs gave out and Steve slotted between them, his knee nudging her core. “Ah! Fu-“ she couldn’t help but grind down on his knee. She stretched her neck to give Steve better access. She was being eaten alive but she was the one getting blood drunk. “Do I?” She sighed.

Humming slightly at her neediness, he slots his knee between her thighs again, offering her the tiniest bit of pleasure he's going to deliver to her that night. “Oh you do...sweetest fuckin' thing ever.” His head swims with the taste of her, rocking down against her thigh, slowly suckling on the trail of blood dripping onto her skin.

Her head spun and her mind went blank - she wanted more. So she slipped one hand down to rub Steve through his pants, feeling him twitch beneath her. “I can feel that,” she said with a coy smile, her face breaking when Steve nudged her core just right. “Fuck, Steve…let me taste it.”

“Taste what, baby?” he asks, voice husky and breathy as he pulls away from her neck, a small drop of blood lingering behind and dripping to his chin. He rocks against her hand, biting his lip.

She pulled herself up and licked the blood dripping down Steve’s chin and neck; “everything,” she purred.

His tongue pokes at his cheek in thought before humming as he rolls over on the bed, lying beside her and against the headboard. A hand came up to palm himself over his cock just as she did, “You can start with this.”

With a chuckle, she sat up and pulled her shoes and gloves off before crawling over to straddle Steve’s lap. “Should I keep the wings and halo on too?” She asked rolling her shoulders to make the wings on her back move. Her hands went to work unbuttoning his jacket, tongue licking up residual blood from her soft lips.

“Don't you dare take those off,” he warns, reaching up to flick the halo gently, watching it swap on her head. Steve’s head tips back while she licks over his throat. “Why aren't you terrified?” he asks, a bit bewildered by her will to accept what was happening.

“That’s the thing,” she pulled away to look at him, still working away on Steve’s jacket “I am terrified; borderline scared shitless. But here’s the thing,” the angel gave him a warm smile “It’s kinda like a present; you can put as much wrapping paper and ribbons on it as you like, but it doesn’t change what’s underneath it all.” She sits back on her heels “You’re still Steve. You’re still the same charming, sweet, caring guy that I feel for years ago.” One hand went to her eyes to wipe away a few stray tears.

“Plus…” she laughed “You cried in the middle of Alien over because of how scared you were for the cat.” She leaned in to kiss his neck “not exactly cold blooded killer material.”

“You're crazy,” he mumbles, a bit amused at her confession before, bringing a hand up to palm at her breast. “Don't worry, we can play around, but I won't kill you. I happen to like you a bit more than the rest,” he confesses, tipping his head to the headboard, lips parting slightly as she begins sucking at the skin there, rolling his eyes at her words. “Who knows, maybe I've changed. Maybe I'm the monster everyone thinks I am.”

“If you keep calling yourself a monster I’m going to give you blue balls and leave,” she said while learning a particularly dark hickey on Steve’s neck. She pulled away and finally finished unbuttoning his jacket “the only monster here is your outfit” she said with a huff “I don’t want to ruin it, but it’s trying my patients!” Her hands slipped down to undo his belt and pants, slipping her hand inside to wrap around his length. 

Rolling his eyes he tugs on her hips harshly before pushing her off and climbing over her. The girl falls back with a resounding “Oof!” as Steve pins her down. “Quite the mouth you have on you, huh?” He works his pants open before pulling his cock out with a slight groan, slowly stroking himself. “You said you wanted a taste of everything?”

She’s taken aback; “Christ he’s massive!” She thinks to herself. “I told you, I’m new to the angel business,” she chides “but yes, I did say that.”

With a smirk, Steve moves his hand down, tugging at her bottom lip and letting it plop back into place. He shuffles over her, straddling her torso, cupping the underside of her jaw. “Open up, then.” He slowly rubs the flushed tip over her lips, biting his own with a hum.

The angel beneath him opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out to flick the angry, red tip. One hand gripped Steve’s thighs while the other reached to guide his cock into her mouth, letting out a soft moan.

He gasps as she takes him into her hot mouth, clenching his jaw to keep himself from thrusting himself as deep as possible into her throat, a hand coming down to pull off the halo. “Not so angel-like to have a cock down your throat, you know?”

She lets Steve’s cock slip out “Are you sure it’s not my mouth that earned me my wings?” she asks with a mischievous smile before taking his cock back into her mouth – bobbing her head and swirling her slick tongue around him with a hum.

He grips her hair, pushing himself back inside he is pressed up against the back of her throat. He gazes down at you with a knowing smile “We’ll see...” He groans slightly before picking up a pace, enjoying every bump and ridge her mouth has to offer.

She moaned around his cock from Steve tugging her hair, causing his cock to slip. Her eyes watered as she started up at him. But she grabbed his thighs and pulled him back in again. It was hard because Steve was both long and thick, but she wanted to make the man above her feel just as good as he did to her.

Steve moans as he steadies himself against the headboard before beginning to fuck into her mouth. She was pulling all sorts of sounds from him, a hand raking through his hair as it flops in his face. Spit dribbled out of the corners of her mouth as the man above her came undone. The smell of Steve’s cologne and natural musk assaulted her senses, as her fingers worked to massage his balls. She hollowed her cheeks around him she squirmed underneath him, rubbing her thighs against each other.

“Such a sweet angel, takin' my cock down your throat,' ' he chuckles, almost amused by the contradiction between her actions and her costume. “Dressed all innocent f'me just so I can ruin you, make you the dirty girl I know you can be,” he stops, pushing her head down and keeping it in place while pushing in slowly. His jaw slackened by each inch that goes inside of her mouth; sliding into her throat and wiping a stray tear before staying there, admiring the way her lips stretch around him.

All the young woman could do was let out a soft whimper of acknowledgment from his teasing. Her eyes pleaded for Steve to touch her, but they soon went wide. She slapped his thigh; she needed air.

Through his pleasure, Steve registers her silent request and he pulls off. His cock glistening with her spit as a web of it snapping between the flushed tip and her lips, he looked down at her and moved off of her. “What do you say? Think I can ruin you now?”

Breath ragged, she pulled herself to a sitting position. “Christ Steve…have you always been like this?” She asks while motioning to his cock “Or is that a new thing for vampires?” Her hand slips down to her clothed core to finally be able to touch herself, her head rolling to the side and a soft smile on her face.

“Like what?” he asks curiously, following the movement of the hand before urging her to show him how she touches herself. He’s looking up at her, waiting for her answer, his fist giving his straining cock a few tugs.

“You know,” she said with a huff and cheeks flushed “being that big.” Her hand dipped under her panties to take a swipe at her pussy, letting out a strangled moan “Fuck…” Steve’s free hand grabbed her wrist to see how wet she was.

His hand swipes through her folds, grumbling something about how wet she was under his breath before huffing out a laugh. “Yeah, actually. Got some girls backing out because they were too scared, but you're not, right? You're a brave angel and you'll take it all.”

She shrugged “Brave, crazy; same difference.” Her jaw falls open when she feels Steve’s fingers brush her just right, his cold skin nudging her clit. “Oh my god…” Her bandaged hand pulled his hand closer, whimpering for his attention.

He smirks proudly at her reaction, her skin prickling with goose bumps because of his cold touch while she tugs his hand closer. “If you're acting like this when I barely touch you, I can't imagine how you will when I put this big fucking cock inside of you,” he teases, pinching her clit.

A small cry escaped her lips, but they soon turned into a smirk. “I’m surprised you haven’t tasted the rest of me yet. I’ve been told I’m very sweet.” Mentally she was thinking that she was going too hard; that she was playing with fire by egging on a vampire as intense and cocky as Steve Harrington. But she was – for all intensive purposes – a brat. Even before he became a vampire, she loved to tease Steve.

“Maybe I'm saving it for round two,” he proposes, leaning closer to her ear with a hum, fingers pulling out of her underwear. “One thing about vampires, they have insane stamina...so I might take you up on that offer.” Crawling down her body, his teeth barely nip at her stomach, licking the little droplet of blood before moving lower. Coming face to face with her clothed cunt and her dress now discarded on the floor. All that was left was some flimsy material covering her pussy. Tugging with his teeth at the waistband of her panties, he lets it snap back into place before pulling it off, brushing the tip of his nose over her inner thigh, pressing his lips to it before moving up to where she was dripping for him.

She stammered as she’s pushed back down on the bed. “Round two?” “Stamina?” Dear lord, she really was playing with fire! This was a whole different type of danger. Her mind was going a million miles a second and empty at the same time until she felt the snap of her panties. “Ah-fuck!”

“And then three, then four, then five...” he teases, seeing the amazed, yet terrified look on her face. Throwing her one more look, he hums before pushing his face into her cunt, beginning to lick at her, thighs over her shoulders.

The loudest gasp fell from her lips - “Holy shit! Steve I-…” Her train of thought was cut short as she felt him pin her legs above her. “Oh my god baby…fuuuuuuck!” Her uninjured hand shoots down to grip onto Steve’s hair.

Steve kept her folded in half, his hands at the backs of her knees. He pushes himself with her clit, rapidly working against it with moans and grunts as she tugs and pulls at his hair just as she wills. As if she couldn’t be any more stimulated, she felt Steve’s fingers prod at her folds. He brings his hand to her entrance, swiftly pushing two fingers into prod and searching for her sweet spot. Her moans are muffled from burying her head in the pillows. “Holy shit! How are you…fuck…how are you so good at this?! God-!”

As she moans, sound muffled so his nails dig into her leg “Look at me,” he urges, leaning down to her clit again while keeping his eyes on her.

The angel pulled her head back and forced herself to look at Steve. Her pupils were blown and the knot in her stomach grew tighter. “Oh god,I-I fuck I’m getting so close already,” she said, her whimpering getting louder. She pulled her uninjured hand back up and bit down on it to keep herself quite; fearful that someone else might bear them.

He moans against her, eager to receive the show which is her, cumming all over his face and fingers. Steve’s long fingers were now getting bolder and faster, as did his tongue working her closer to the edge.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Fuck Steve! Just like that! Just like that!” Her voice was getting higher and her breathing became shorter. “Oh god Stevie shit- please!” She was practically begging at this point when the knot in her snapped and her orgasm slammed into her, crying out his name.

Steve groans lowly as he coaxes her through it, he leans his head to the side, licking over her inner thigh. “Think I can have a taste here too?” Steve asks, his eyes gleaming.

Once she has calmed down she lets out an exhausted laugh. “I’m pretty sure you’ve more than earned that, honey,” she says while brushing a strand of hair away from Steve’s face.

Nodding against her, Steve’s dark eyes stay locked onto her thigh before he leans forward and sinks his teeth into her inner part of her thigh; immediately indulging in her blood. He rolled his hips down against the mattress with a strained moan, eyes rolling back.

She winced a little from the pain. “Mmmmmm, that’s it baby,” she cooed as she stroked Steve’s head. The sight of the man grinding his hips into the mattress making her chuckle, “Does my blood turn you on, Stevie? Does it taste better than my cum?”

Steve answered with a silent nod against her thigh; he stops his hips with one last rock, not wanting to rile himself up more than he already was. He licked the remains of the blood which slowly dripped out. “M'so fucking hard, god it hurts, can I fuck you now?”

She leaned down and captured Steve’s lips with her own, the taste of her own blood and juice making her moan. “Awe poor baby,” she leaned in to kiss behind Steve’s ear “Do it…please fuck me, Steve.”

Steve was not wasting any time before he's hovering over her, pulling at his pants and pressing his flushed tip to her entrance. Her walls were still fluttering shallowly as the remains of her orgasm faded away. Slipping a hand around her neck, he squeezes, leaning in for another kiss while slamming in suddenly, shuddering at the warmth of her.   She rolled her hips to tease his angry cock against her folds, but was forced back against the bed when Steve slammed into her, burying himself to the hilt.

“Mmmmmm fuuuuck!” her hands grabbed the man by his forenames, her head spinning from lack of oxygen and pure want.

His head close to hers, Steve’s lips parted and panting against her temple, pushing even closer into her. His cock nudged her walls as the grip on her throat slackens slightly, letting her breathe for a moment. “Even better than I imagined, shit...”

“You’ve dreamed about me? About this?” She asked through gasps of air. “H-How long?” Steve felt massive compared to her past lovers, then again he was. It was no shock that a man who is almost six feet tall would be well-endowed. But Steve was a whole different breed of big.

“So fucking long, you have no idea,” he breathes out against her ear, giving the first tentative move of his hips, groaning into her ear. “All the time I’ve jerked off thinking about you. God you have no idea!”

Her cheeks turned into the prettiest shade of pink over Steve’s words; as his hip started to move. “Oh my god…m-me too. F’so long…” moans kept cutting her off midway. “I’ve-fuck! Steve you feel amazing!”

Pulling away from her, he sits up on his knees, slowly grinding his cock into her teasingly. “Does my sweet girl want to be fucked, hmm?” he asks teasingly, wanting her to beg for him.

“What? Nooo!” the angel whined, her hands reaching out for Steve “you’re so mean!” His eyes sparkled with mischief in the light. She looked up at him with her doe-eyes wide “Please…”

“Shh, it's okay. How can I say no to a pretty angel like you?” he coos, sliding back in and picking up a pace. He cursed under his breath at the sensation before he grips the headboard with one hand, the other latched onto her hip.

“Fuuck~” her back arched as her walls hugged Steve’s cock “Oh fuck Steve!” Her arms wrapped themselves around his back, digging her nails into his freckles skin. Her eyes met his, her lips parted; “Steve…” All that mattered was this very moment: her and Steve Harrington. His cold hands exploring her body, his skin slick with sweat and blood, Steve’s dark eyes boring into her soul.

She was afraid, but not for the original reason as before. Those dangerous three-letter words were caught in her throat. They’ve been stuck there for years. Steve did say he wanted to let her live; that he’s wanted her for years, but she was afraid.

Did he only want her for just a quick fuck? For food?

What’s going to happen when all is said and done; “Yeah that was a great time. Goodnight and maybe I’ll call you later?” Then immediately ghost her? What if she says them…right now? Will it make him stop? Will he shut her out?

 “God baby...” Steve’s nails push into the plush skin of her hips in tandem with hers, his back arching into her, pressing closer and seeking out the warmth he's been lacking. His cock continuously nudging at her walls, he bites his lip tightly, looking down at her through hooded eyes. “You're so...so gorgeous....”

Steve’s words snapped the angel back to reality. For the first time tonight she saw the eyes she fell for before. Soft, warm, a little playful – flacks of hazel and amber brought out by the lamplight.

“I love you.”

His hips stuttered at her weak words, barely hearing them. “W-what?” His rhythm slows down slightly, letting himself breathe again. “What did you say?”

Her body was burning up; both from pleasure and fear. “I said ‘I love you,’ Steve,” she said, her eyes wet with tears, fearful of what’s to come. If her life is going to end tonight, she might as well go without guilt haunting her heart. It felt like a ticking time bomb; either way it’s going to blow.

His eyes almost bulge out of his head, swallowing tightly as he falls into silence. She looks back up at Steve, her eyes searching his handsome features for some semblance of an answer. Every second ticking by was draining her mind and body. “Please, say something!” she shouted as her voice shook.

“Why?” It's all that comes out of his mouth, still deep inside her, looking at her a bit baffled. “You love me? Don't think we're that close just yet, you might be confused or something.” Shaking his head, he says “It's the sex talking....”

The vice grip on her heart tightened more and more. “B-Because I do, okay?! I just do! It’s not the sex!” She sputtered. “I’ve always had feelings for you Steve; since, I don’t know, 6th grade? Back when you didn’t even acknowledge Robin and I’s existence.” Hot tears spilled from her eyes. “You know what? Forget it! God, I’m so stupid!” She tried to pull herself away from Steve’s grip, but she was too tired and weak to get anywhere. “I should have just kept my mouth shut; should have just stayed home. God, I’m a fucking dumbass!”

She struggled more, but Steve still had a grip on her. She let out a shaky laugh “To think Steve Harrington, in any form, would ever feel the same way. No matter how much he flirted with me, how much he teased me. All those times he’d touch me or was nice to be were nothing! I’m just another bag of meat and blood.”

Reluctantly, Steve pulls out of her with a hiss, his heavy length slapping to his stomach and glistening with her slick as he pants. “I mean...I do like you, really like you, but I don't think I love you just yet...” he confesses with a shrug, only seeing her in a romantic way for a few months at least. “You're not…c'mon! Do you think you'd even be alive right now if I didn't like you; if I really thought of you as just food?”

She was just grabbing her dress and the remnants of her panties when Steve’s questions, his words cutting through the tension like a hot knife through butter.

“Just yet.”

You’re still alive.

You haven’t bled out just yet. You haven’t been bled dry.

You’re still alive.

He likes you.

She felt a calloused, cold hand tentatively brush her shoulder, finger gently tracing up her neck to cup her cheek. Steve turned her face to look into her eyes; soft, almost vulnerable. Could a vampire even be capable of feeling vulnerable? Nevertheless, Steve Harrington was telling the truth. Her bandaged hand reached up to hold the hand on her face. She felt the bed dip as Steve shifted closer to her. She leaned up and rested her forehead against his.

“I'm sorry for not being able to say it back,” he murmurs, leaning against her forehead, pressing his lips to hers with a hum. “But I like you, I really like you Y/N” he said seriously, his cock still straining, but not paying any attention to it.

  She kisses him back, a soft smile growing on her lips. There’s still hope. She pulled away with a sigh, “I forgive you.” Her free hand traveled back down to Steve’s waist, tracing small circles on his skin just shy of his still-angry erection “Just know you like me too is enough.” The hand dipped down to trace up his cock, feeling him shutter.

“Fuck...we-we don't have to if you don't want to,” he manages to get out, not wanting her to feel forced into finishing what they started.

“Oh my, the big bad vampire is backing down?” the angel teases as she suckles on Steve’s neck “Don’t start getting soft on me now baby.” She pulled him back so he was on top of her again. “I absolutely want to continue, Stevie.”

Snorting slightly, his smile fades before leaning down to silence her, kissing her deeply. “Yeah, no chance I'm getting soft any time soon.” He smirks at his pun, fisting his cock before pushing the tip against her entrance again.

She rolls her hips to grind down on Steve’s cock; a small whine passing her lips. “Mmm fuck please Steve.”

“Please what? Want my cock again? Greedy angel...” Steve breathes out, pushing in again until he's buried to the hilt inside of her, relishing in the warmth.

“Mmmmmm fuuuck yes” she moans as Steve bottoms out inside of her. Her hands grip onto his back. “Shit babe…”

His body arches into hers as her nails dig into his skin, his hips picking up that harsh pace again, slamming into her over and over again, wanting her to cry out for him. Her breasts bounced with every thrust, her hair fanned out on his pillow. It was ironic to say, but the girl below him truly looked like an angel. Her voice calling out Steve’s name like a siren’s song; and it all was drawing him in closer to his own release. “You’re so fucking gorgeous Angel,” he groaned “This pussy...”  Steve dipped his head down to feed from her again.

“Oh my god, Steve,” she moaned as she clung to him with all of her strength “I’m so close.” Her body trembled beneath him “Oh god, please Steve! Please let me cum! Please! Please! Please let me cum! Fill me!”

Steve pulled back to look into her eyes, her blood dripping from his swollen lips. He slipped one hand down between them to viciously rub her clit as his thrusts became sloppier. “You want me to fill you, Angel?” Steve teases and his voice laced with lustful venom. “Do it! Cum all over my fucking cock and I’ll drown this pussy! Drench it!”

Almost as if on cue, Y/N’s orgasm ripped through her body. Her velvet walls clamped down on Steve as he lost all sense of control. His hips slammed into her at an unrelenting pace before he too became undone; painting Y/N’s insides with his seed. 

Steve didn’t expect his own orgasm to be as intense as it was. Like he said before, vampires have incredible stamina. But here he was, clinging to the girl below him as if she was about to be blown away by a gust of wind. His breath was ragged and Steve felt like someone just ripped a blindfold off of his eyes. Steve’s bedroom was too bright, his body felt sticky, and his cologne was too strong. The parties going on downstairs was too loud.

Oh shit, the party!

Steve Harrington finally came back to his senses and shook off the last of his post-orgasm brain fog. He looked down at the angel that just rocked his world, his dark eyes looking her over for signs of life. “Shit shit shit! Hey!” Steve shook her lightly as he called out her name. Sheer panic pumped through his veins; “please don’t be dead!”

The young woman was very much alive, albeit a little delirious from having her brains fucked out of her. “Mmm yeah?” she asks with a dreamy sigh.

“Oh thank god you’re alive,” Steve says to himself if anything.

She let out a chuckle as the woman propped herself up on her elbows “Of course I’m alive, you dork.” Her tired eyes still sparkled with wonder and affection like before as she looked at Steve. “Honey?” 

“Yeah?”

“You’re crushing me,” she said.

“Oh fuck!” Steve pulled himself back on his haunches and gently pulled himself out of her with a hiss. “Sorry about that,” said Steve sheepishly “I – uh – I’ll be right back. Okay?” Steve hops off the bed and scrambles to put his clothes back on.

“Okie dokie,” she replied with a relaxed giggle as she watched Steve struggle to button his jacket.

Even without the slight hiccup (if you wanted to call that sudden confession that) Steve Harrington was completely spent. Everything was too bright, too loud, and he needed to make it stop. He scrambled out the door, hair disheveled and his shoes long gone, and crashed right to one of his servants. “Carter!”

“Ah Master Harrington!” the young man exclaimed as he tried to back onto his feet. Steve offered a hand and pulled Cater back up “What is the matter? Is everything to your liking?”

“Yes! I mean no! I mean,” the older man shook his head before trying to speak again “Fuck! Everything is good. I think it’s time we wrap everything up.”

Carter looked at his boss dumbfounded. “You want to end the party now?” He takes out his pocket watch to check the time “But sir it’s not even 2AM. I would have figured you would have wanted to stick to the scheduled 5AM cut off.”

“Well there has been a change of plans,” Steve replied while pacing back and forth, biting his thumbs in deep thought “Have the others make sure our guests aren’t too intoxicated to drive home. Anyone who is can stay the night in one of the spare bedrooms. Oh! And make sure Robin has the nicest guest bedroom for her stay.” That pacing soon turned into Steve running down the hall, barking out orders to whatever staff he came across. Vampires are known for their speed too, and usually Steve would be doing everything in his power to not show off his newfound skills. But right now he didn’t give a damn. His body felt like he stuck a fork in an electrical outlet.

Steve Harrington – in all of his chaotic and disheveled glory – ran straight to the top of the stairs that overlooked the dance floor, his eyes wild and frantic. “Everyone out!”

The people below looked up, murmuring to one another about their host’s sudden change in demeanor. “He can’t be serious, can he?” asked one man. “Seriously dude?! The party is just getting started!” shouted another.

A borderline demonic snarl came out of Steve as he screamed from the balcony: “Get out!”

Whether in fear for their safety or just fed up with the host’s hostile change of heart, everyone in the mansion slowly made their way out to their cars. A few were able to stay behind and - per Steve’s request - stayed in one of the dozen guest rooms. Robin and Vikki were blessed with sharing the largest and nicest of those rooms, which was one part for Robin’s safety and ten parts Steve being her top tier wingman. As soon as the coast was clearer, Steve turned to the small army of servants and dropped to his hands and knees.

“M-Master Harrington!” exclaimed Carter “Are you..”

“I’m sorry!” Steve blurted out, his forehead laying flat on the marble floor.

“Excuse me, sir?” asked one of the maids.

“I’m so sorry for yelling at all of you! I’m sorry for being an asshole all of the time!” he continued on, never lifting his head “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put all of you through!” Steve soon got back on his feet with a huff. “I’ll help you all with the clean up in just a moment, I just…”

Carter, who has known the Harrington Family for decades and Steve along since birth, puts two and two together in his mind. He walks over and places a firm but gentle hand on the young man’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Master Harrington. I got this.” The man turns on his heels and claps his hands “Alright everyone! You heard the Young Master. Let’s get our overnight guests situated.” He looks over to one of the maids “Miss Abigail, could you make sure that Lady Buckly and Lady Lee have fresh towels and a change of clothes for the night?” Abigail gives her boss a quick nod and scurries off to the laundry room. Carter continues on giving orders to the rest of the staff while Steve runs to the kitchen.

Steve flings open cabinet doors, searching all over for something. “Fuck! Where did I put the good First Aid kit?” he said to himself, “She’s gonna need something for her headache later…and the bite marks.” He starts to pull at his own hair in frustration. “Come on Steve, think!” A gentle tap on his shoulder lets him know that Carter had finished instructing the others.

“Are you looking for this?” Carter asks while holding up a red plastic box with the words “First Aid” on the front in one hand. In the other was a glass of water and a small packet of ibuprofen.

Steve took all of the items from him, placing the unopened packet between his lips. He gave Carter a curt nod of appreciation and a muffled “Thanks” before shooting back upstairs to his bedroom. He freezes as soon as he reaches his bedroom door. “Why am I so freaked out? I mean, yeah. I like her. Like, I like her a lot. But why is my heart racing? I thought I didn’t have a heartbeat anymore,” Steve rambled on to himself before shaking his head and opening the door as quietly as he could.

What he saw took his breath away; Y/N was curled up in his bed fast asleep, a peaceful smile on her face and wearing nothing but his button down shirt. She didn’t look to be in any sort of pain or distress from having been bitten all over; just exhausted from her ordeal. Steve cautiously walked over to and placed the glass, the first aid kit, and the medicine on the bedside table.

“Y/N?” he whispered, his long fingers brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. A small groan let Steve know that the girl was, in fact, still alive and somewhat capable of listening, which made him let out a sigh of relief. “Sweetheart you have to get up and get cleaned up first before going to sleep.”

“Pancakes,” she replied softly.

“What?”

“You asked me earlier what I wanted for breakfast,” she replied “Could we have blueberry pancakes tomorrow?” she asked. Her eyes opened ever so slightly to gaze up at Steve and the smile from before letting out a sweet giggle.

The young man let out a laugh and kissed the angel’s forehead, “Of course, my Angel. Whatever you want is yours.” Without you noticing Steve had gone into his bathroom and returned with a warm washcloth to clean her up. No way in hell was he going to subject this saint to a shower or even a full bath. Once he was done Steve simply tossed the rag on the ground and joined her in bed. His strong arms pulled the young woman close to him, wrapping himself around her like a blanket.

Little did she know, Steve Harrington was finally satisfied. He also was a dirty rotten liar about what he said about his feelings for Y/N. He didn’t like the woman.

Steve Harrington was completely beside himself; totally enamored and  hopelessly devoted to Y/N. Even if her blood wasn’t the most delicious thing he’s ever had; a true aphrodisiac, Steve had been drawn to her charm and sweetness for so long. In one night Y/N Y/L/N had completely upended all of his plans for the rest of his life. He was already making a mental list of what needed to be done for His Angel to move in with him. Steve was ready to make this girl as many blueberry pancakes her little heart desired.

This young woman had tamed the devil himself. This angel was, in every sense of the word, his last meal.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Risk it - Harry Styles

a/n: this came so fast and typed most of it out at work lmao, but i kinda dig how it turned out!! hope you’ll like it too! as always, feedback is very much appreciated!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

You shake yourself a little bit to get rid of the spicy coldness that’s been lingering around in the city in the past few days. It’s only the end of August, but feels more like late October, though they say the warmness will return for a few more weeks shortly. That would be much needed, you’d love to enjoy some more lunches out in a park or down near the river before you are forced to withdraw into the insides for the rest of the year.

Looking around in the packed pub you look for the familiar golden locks of Piper and you quickly spot her in one of the corner booths, laughing joyfully with pinked cheeks probably from the almost empty pint of beer in front of her. Marching through the place you slide into the booth joining the group of three.

“And there she is!” Piper cheers.

“We thought you’re gonna bail on us,” Abigail snickers and you just roll your eyes.

“I said I would come, just had some work to finish before,” you tell them, shaking your cardigan down your arms quickly, the air is thicker, mustier and much warmer in here, but it’s not surprising, the pub is packed, just as usual on a Friday evening.

“You work way too much,” Piper shakes her head in disapproval as she downs the rest of her drink.

“I’ll be working way less from September.”

“Yeah, but you’ll spend the rest of the week in school, so it’s gonna be the same!” Mona chimes in with furrowed eyebrows.

“They promised me a fat raise if I get this degree within the next three years, I could definitely use the extra cash so I can finally buy my own place soon,” you explain.

You know they understand the situation and they wish you the best. They want to see you succeed in life and in your career, they just love teasing you about how dedicated you are towards your work, having to say immediately yes when your boss told you you’d get a new position and a raise if you finish the masters you never got to two years ago. You already had a handful of credits done that you’ll be able to get accepted, meaning you only have about one year worth of credits to finish in two years while working. It might get a little overwhelming to have an almost fulltime job and go to school but you’re determined to do this.

“We know, we know,” Abigail chuckles. “Alright, no more work or school talk tonight. We are here to let loose, so let’s get another round!”

Soon enough you are nursing a beer of your own, enjoying your time with your friends. It’s been long all four of you were free on the same night. Piper got married last year, Abigail’s work forces her to travel around a lot and Mona has a bitch of a boss, making her work overtime a lot, so it’s been hard to fix up a date that fits everyone. It’s been like this since you all finished your bachelors three years ago. You like to think you’re still a fresh little young adult who just barely stepped out into the big world, but it’s not true, hasn’t been for a while. You’re 24, you have a career, you live on your own, you take care of yourself fully. You are an adult, whether you like it or not.

Drink after drink, the four of you are getting tipsy, having an amazing time talking about the stories you shared back in university. Piper was your roommate first year uni, Mona and Abigail were in the room next to yours and you quickly became close friends, moved in for the rest of your studies until you all went your own ways after graduation, but keeping in touch as much as possible.

“I’m gonna get another one, but that’s gonna be my last one, because I have some work to finish in the morning,” you announce climbing out of the booth.

“No work talk!” Mona and Abigail shout at the same time making you laugh as you just wave them off and head to the bar.

You’ve been waiting for the line to get shorter, now only a few people are lingering around so you patiently wait for your turn, clutching onto your card in your hand. You don’t pay much attention to the tall guy next to you, only when someone bumps into you from behind and makes you fall against his side.

“Oh shoot, sorry! Someone pushed me,” you apologize immediately as the guy looks at you over his broad shoulder and your gaze meets a pair of green eyes framed with long lashes and a curious look in them.

“No worries, Love,” he smiles and you almost gasp at the British accent that laces through his voice. You take a quick moment to inspect the man, he is standing almost a full head above you, wearing a simple black shirt and brown slacks, a set of bulky rings sitting on his fingers that are spread out on the counter in front of him, his whole left arm covered in ink and you feel the urge to examine every figure on his golden skin. His chocolate curls are kind of a mess, but still look well placed, you bet he is the type who only runs his fingers through his hair and makes it look breathtaking. He is handsome and definitely your type, looks older than you, but you wouldn’t think he is over thirty.

“What’s your order?” he asks and your eyes snap up to him, realizing he is still looking at you.

“Huh?”

“What’s your order? I’ll get it for you so you don’t have to wait longer.” “Oh, I’ll just have a stout,” you tell him, feeling a little flushed from his offer. His eyebrows rise in surprise. “What?”

“Didn’t take you as a stout person is all,” he smirks at you as the bartender appears in front of him with his drink, asking if he wants anything else. “And a stout, please.” The guy nods and disappears to get your drink.

“I uhh—I only have card though,” you speak up realizing you can’t pay it back to him.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s on me.”

“Oh, no, that wouldn’t be fair,” you protest and he seems amused that you don’t just let him pay for your drink.

“How about this: you pay for the next round. Me and my mates are sitting over there, just come over when you finish this,” he offers, pointing at two guys sitting a few booths away from you and your friends.

“This was supposed to be my last round. I have to work in the morning,” you breathe out tilting your head.

“What? Work on Saturday? What kind of job is so cruel to make you work on a Saturday morning?” he asks with a boyish smile.

“One that pays my bills and most importantly my beer,” you chuckle softly.

“Okay, then make it just a soda,” he cheekily says and you feel giddy that this man is so keen on having another drink with you.

“I guess that could work,” you smile just as the bartender appears with your drink and the handsome man pays for the drinks, just then you realize you don’t even know his name. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” you tell him taking your beer. He tugs his wallet into his pocket before holding a hand out for you.

“Harry. Nice to meet you,” he smiles warmly and the moment you take his hand, you feel the tiny sparks. This man is surely something else. “I’ll be waiting for our next round,” he cheekily tells you raising his glass before the two of you part and go back to your own groups. As expected, your friends are already waiting for you with wide eyes and excitement, having witnessed your little chat with Harry at the bar.

“Who was that?! No, wait, it doesn’t matter. You need to go home with him!” Abigail smacks her hand to the table earning a chuckle from you.

“Don’t be dramatic, I just met him.”

“And you have to get to know him better. Deeper, you know what I mean?” Mona prompts.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you all. He is hot, but I’m not looking to day anyone right now.”

“You know, it’s starting to get boring to hear you say that you are just working on yourself these days. That’s not what you’re doing,” Piper gives you a look. “You are wasting your time on work and school and all these stuff that will be there when you’re older. Live a little, Y/N!” she begs.

“You guys make me appear like a no fun bitch, but that’s not who I am!” you defend yourself, though you know they just want the best for you.

“A fun bitch would ditch us right now and go over to their booth and then ride his dick all night.”

You gasp at the unfiltered answer you just heard from Mona, but deep down, you know she is right. You haven’t really let yourself be a little crazy in a while, your one night stands stopped the moment you graduated and stepped into the world of work. It just didn’t fit into your everydays, you had a lot to worry about, making a living and keeping your life on track, but you have it all now. What’s stopping you from hooking up with a cute guy?

“I’m not gonna just ditch you guys, came here to spend time with you!”

“Shut up, we are leaving then,” Abigail snaps, downing the rest of her drink in a blink of an eye and for a moment you’re speechless.

“What? No! We never get to spend quality time together, all four of us!”

“Honey,” Mona sighs. “We love you and we know you need this. So go, get the tatted hottie and we’ll meet up another time when you’ll get to tell us all about how good the D was.”

“Jesus, you guys are unbelievable,” you chuckle shaking your head, accepting the fact that they are really forcing you to do this.

They all quickly finish their drinks and get ready to leave, hugging you before they exit the place, leaving you alone in the booth. Staring down at the stout in front of you, feeling nervous to just walk up to the guys a few tables away, though Harry told you to go over, however he didn’t invite you to join their group, just promised another round.

You take a few long gulps, hoping the strong drink will bring out your courage and before you could talk yourself down you grab your bag and drink, heading over to Harry and his friends. He is sitting at the far end so he easily spots you walking over, perching up in his seat when he sees you approaching.

“Hey,” you greet them all with a shy smile, waving around. There’s a blond guy sitting across Harry and a brunette with equally as many tattoos on his arms as Harry.

“Hey, you haven’t finished your drink,” Harry observes with a small smirk.

“Um, no. But my friends left and I was wondering if I could… join you guys.”

“Oh, the honor is yours! Take a seat beautiful!” the blonde one immediately slides further into the booth so you can sit across Harry. “I’m Niall, what’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“So very nice to meet you,” he grins at you, words thick with Irish accent. “That’s Louis over there,” he gestures towards the third man who nods in your way with a welcoming smile.

“Hi. I’m hoping I’m not interrupting though.”

“Oh, never,” Niall shakes his head immediately. “We saw you chatting up Harry at the bar, have been teasing him about going up to you since then,” he cheekily comments and you see Harry giving him a look, but Niall couldn’t care less.

All three of them are hilarious and you love the dynamic in their friendship. Niall is clearly the loud one, Louis is the cheeky who is always up for some mischief and Harry is somewhat the serious bloke, but it’s clear he doesn’t say no to any crazy ideas his two friends make up. You love the teasing and joking, they make you feel welcomed and as if you’d known them for longer than just an hour. As promised, you pay for Harry’s next drink, but you stick to just a lemonade, not wanting to overstep your own boundaries.

All while you’re sitting with the guys, you keep catching Harry eyeing you, your gazes meet over your drinks and at one point you feel his leg finding yours under the table, your ankles pressing together as he nudges you with his feet. You feel like a giddy teenager flirting with her crush, Harry’s effect on you is probably very clear too, but you don’t care.

Louis is the first one to leave and Niall follows not long later, leaving you alone with Harry. The nerves are raging in you as you try to figure out which way to take it. Though he seems like a nice guy, you still don’t want to take it any further than a hookup. Dating is just not in the cards for you right now. But how do you imply a one night stand? Do you ask him to come to your place? Or do you go to his? You would rather go to his so you can sneak out first thing in the morning, spare you an awkward talk over breakfast before you leave.

“We should… get going too,” you suggest and Harry nods in agreement, finishing up the last gulps of his beer. You take a deep breath and decide to just be straight forward. “Maybe I could go to yours? Have another round there?” Your suggestion comes out fainter than you intended, but you still manage to sound confident. Harry seems a little surprised, but he doesn’t voice it.

“Another? Thought you were done for the night,” he tells with an amused smirk.

“I’m sure you have something alcohol free,” you shrug innocently.

“I surely do,” he nods. “Alright, let’s get going.

He calls an Uber and the two of you sit close in the car, thighs touching and at one point his large hand finds your thigh, squeezing it gently that sets a fire in your core almost immediately. It’s been long you’ve been touched by a man, you were starting to forget what it feels like, but you know Harry will remind you well about it.

He lives in a nice townhouse and you note how it’s not too far from the campus you’ll be going to a lot in a week. He keys the two of you in, switching the lights on in his cozy home. It’s not messy, more like lived in. A lot of books everywhere, the furniture doesn’t match, but all together, the whole place is pulled together somehow. It’s very like him.

“So, what would you like to drink?” he asks walking into the open concept kitchen, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard. “I have some tea, orange juice, water…”

As you watch his broad back, his muscles moving under the soft fabric of his shirt, you quickly forget about any drink. You want him and you want him now. Walking up to him you slide between him and the kitchen counter, catching him by surprise when you cup his face in your hands and pull him down into a hard kiss, but a moment later his arms wrap around you, lifting you up from the ground until you are sat on the counter. You open your knees so he stands between them, his crotch meeting yours as you kiss messily, all tongues, tugging and nipping, but oh my! You absolutely love it. The man has a mouth full of magic and you can only imagine what else he can do with those lips.

A whimpered moan leaves your mouth when you feel his growing bulge rub against your core as his lips travel down your jawline and throat, kissing and licking on your heated skin.

“Harry, bedroom,” you demand grabbing onto his shoulders and he doesn’t waste a moment, picking you up into his arms and heading somewhere down the hallway. You can’t quite comprehend what way it is, you’re way too lost in the feeling of his lips on your collarbone and neck, surely leaving marks on you.

He lays you down to a king sized bed and gets on top of you right away, following his wandering down your body. His ring clad fingers work fast on the hem of your shirt, pulling it off you in a moment before he kneels up and gets rid of his own shirt. He looks breathtaking, all the tattoos littering his chest and stomach, you just want to kiss all of them, feel his skin on your lips.

As he unbuckles his leather belt you push down your skinny jeans, throwing the item to the side without ever taking your hands off him. The man surely has all your attention.

When his slacks join the rest of your clothes on the floor he climbs on top of you again, kissing down the valley between your breasts that are still covered in the lacy bra. Your underwear doesn’t match, but something is telling you Harry is more eager to see you without them than to examine them. When he hooks his fingers into your panties and starts pulling them down, you reach to your back, unclasping the bra and in a blink of an eye, you’re lying completely naked in front of him.

“Fuck, you look so hot, Y/N,” he breathes out before those magical lips start working on your nipples, making you moan and whimper under him.

Kissing down your stomach he spreads your thighs wide, gazing down at your naked sex and for a moment you feel a little self-conscious, but the lust in Harry’s eyes quickly makes it disappear.

“You’re gonna let me have a taste, baby?” he murmurs, sending shivers down your spine as you nod eagerly.

He is not a tease. Harry dives right in, his lips meeting your clit, working his magic and you cry out his name, fingers tangling into his locks to keep him in place, not that he is about to stop anytime soon. He clearly enjoys pleasuring you.

“Oh fuck!” you gasp when his tongue runs down your slit and he slowly pushes into you, making your back arch. You need him inside you, you need him to fill you up right now or else you’ll burst. “Harry,” you breathe out, tugging on his shoulders, urging him to come back up.

He climbs up your body, a satisfied smirk on his glistening lips and when he kisses you hungrily, you can taste yourself on him.

“Condom,” you urge him, hands pushing down on his briefs, lips still locked as he reaches to the bedside table. You hear the familiar sound of the package ripping before he leans back, your eyes falling on his naked erection for the first time and your lips part seeing his cock, knowing already he’ll feel you up so well. He rolls the condom on easily before returning to you, but you don’t stay in that position too long. You want to ride this man, see him come undone under you. Being on top is already one of your favorite positions, but with Harry, you just know it’s going to be amazing.

You push on his shoulder and he understands your intention without a spoken word, so he rolls to his back and lets you straddle him, glancing down at his cock that’s now grazing his lower stomach, so hard and throbbing just for you. His fingers dig into your hips when you wrap a hand around his length, positioning him to your center.

“Oh fuck!” he moans when you ease down, his cock filling you up inch to inch, feeling so amazing like nothing before.

“Shit,” you breathe out gasping when you sit on him fully, taking his whole length inside you, stretching your insides so nicely, your wet walls hugging him perfectly.

“You feel so fucking good,” he murmurs lowly as you start buckling your hips, moving back and forth, up and down, the friction you’re creating swallowing you up entirely.

Harry can’t take his eyes off you, a hand wandering up to cup your breast and you cover his hand with yours, encouraging him to squeeze, making you moan passionately. He starts buckling his hips in sync with your movements, meeting you with every little thrust, hitting just the right spots, building up your orgasm so easily like no man has ever done before.

“Harry, oh God!” you moan, falling forward, leaning onto your arms next to his head, your lips meet in a hungry and demanding kiss as he wraps his arms around your body, thrusting up into you hard and so good, you whimper against his lips.

“You’re gonna cum for me, baby? I wanna see you feel good,” he pants, never slowing down. A few moments later he rolls the two of you around, your back hitting the sheets again as he moves one of your legs to rest on his shoulder, hitting a spot that almost makes you see stars.

“Oh yes! There! Don’t fucking stop!” you cry out so loud, you can only hope the walls are thick enough to keep your voice locked in the room.

“Not planning to,” he chuckles shortly before burying his face in the crook of your neck. You hold onto him for dear life, fingers digging into his sweaty skin, feeling as if you are melting into him.

Harry rocks into you relentlessly, your toes curling as you feel your orgasm finally arriving, making you gasp for air.

“Harry! I’m gonna cum!” you moan and he lifts his head, never stopping, not even for a second. His green eyes lock on your gaze, curls flopping into his forehead as he watches you in awe.

“Let it go for me, baby. Cum all over me, I wanna see how good I’m making you feel.”

“So fucking good!”

He picks up his pace just enough to make you lose your mind. It hits you like a pile of bricks, your orgasm washing over you in intense waves as you moan his name again and again. Your walls clench around him and it’s enough to throw him over the edge as well. His thrusts become uncoordinated and harder as his mouth hangs open.

“Fuck, Y/N! You feel so fucking amazing!” he whimpers through his pleasure and you watch him fall apart, panting and gasping for air, trying to remember every little detail about him. This is an experience you surely won’t forget and will probably fantasize about a lot when you’re alone at home, playing with yourself, seeking release.

A few more sloppy thrusts later he stops, kissing your lips passionately before he pulls out and falls to the mattress next to you. You both need a few minutes to recover from it, just panting and laying numbly next to each other, Harry’s arm thrown over your stomach. You turn to the side and immediately meet his glistening eyes, filled with satisfaction and bliss. When he finally recollects himself he pecks your lips softly before leaving the bed. You watch him remove the used condom, tie it and toss it into the small trash can near his dressed before he moves to the bathroom. When he reappears, he is wearing a fresh pair of boxers and he has a wet washcloth in his hand. Sitting beside you he gently cleans you up as you murmur your thank you.

“Want something to sleep in?” he asks then and you nod. He grabs you a t-shirt and a pair of loose shorts that you put on gladly. They smell exactly like him, soap, something citrus-like and a hint of anise.

He returns to bed and pulls you into his embrace, you gladly make yourself comfortable curled up to his side. Lying there, feeling his fingers gently running up and down your arm almost makes you want more from him. You could get used to share a bed with him and it’s not just because of the mind-blowing sex, but he is a lovable person. You feel bad you’re planning to leave without a trace in the morning, but then you tell yourself it’s what has to happen.

Harry doses off soon and you follow him right after, the warmth of his body puts you to sleep easily. When you wake up it’s still clearly early. Harry is sleeping soundly next to you, face squished into the pillow and you almost stay, wanting to see what he’s like in the morning, but you don’t let yourself change your mind.

You get dressed into your own clothes and leave the ones he lent you on top of his dresser. You tiptoe out of his room and grab your bag before looking for a piece of paper and a pen. You quickly scribble down a short note for him.

“Had fun last night. Hope you won’t be mad, but I only saw it as a one night stand. You’re an amazing man, Harry. I’m glad we met. Xx  –Y/N”

It’s more than nothing, than leaving without a word and you don’t let the guilt take over you. Taking one last look around, glancing in the way of the bedroom where he is still asleep, you pack it all up and put it to the back of your mind before walking out.

The last week before your classes start passes by faster than you imagined. It’s your last week fully in the office so you try to work a little ahead, staying in afterhours so you won’t have that much to take care of while you get used to being a uni student again. You usually get home after nine and basically fall into bed right away, and you even work during the weekend before the Monday when school starts. You go to bed way too late so it’s not a surprise you wake up late. You get ready in a rush, throwing out your plan to get a coffee on your way out the window since you are way behind time. Running across campus you’re lucky you already know your way around so you don’t have to wander around, looking for the room you have to be at, but even when you finally reach the right hallway you’re ten minutes late to the class.

Introduction to International Relations, held by Prof. Styles, 8.30-10.00, it reads on the little timetable attached to the way next to the closed doors and you pray the man didn’t start in time, so you’d be late with just a few minutes. Taking a deep breath you push the door open trying to make no sound and unfortunately, you are met with an auditorium full of people, everyone looking at you as if it was against the law to be a little late to class.

What the Hell is wrong with students these days? Being late was usual when I was a freshman, you think to yourself as you step inside, closing the door behind you, getting ready to apologize to the professor.

“I’m so sorry, Professor Styles, I—Shit,” you end your sentence with a whisper as your eyes fall on the man standing on the podium. He hasn’t turned to you, his eyes are fixed on a paper in his hand, probably the syllabus because he must have been in the middle of introducing the class, but the sudden whispering that starts upon your apology that turned into shit, he finally looks up and his eyes fall on your frozen figure.

Professor Styles is none other than Harry. As in The Harry you met at the pub a week ago, had the best sex with and left without leaving your number to him in the morning. Now he is staring back at you with the same amount of panic and surprise as you.

“What—I uhh…” He clears his throat, looking around and seeing about a hundred pairs of curious eyes who are witnessing the awkward run-in. “Take a seat,” he then firmly says, clenching his jaw as you nod.

With your heart beating in your throat you keep your eyes down on your feet as you rush over to a free seat somewhere at the front, since the back is already kinda full.

“So, uhh—As I was saying this is an introduction so we’ll talk about a lot of different topics, I want you to have a view of the most important aspects before moving onto separate fields.”

You don’t dare to look up as Harry talks about the class, the syllabus, how the semester will be built up and what you’ll have to do to pass. Scribbling your wobbly notes, you nervously bounce your legs under the desk, flashbacks from your time with him popping into your mind through the whole lecture.

This feels like something straight out of a ridiculous movie. How is it possible, that the one time you finally decide to have a one night stand with a hot guy, he turns out to be your professor?! That’s just your luck, it seems.

Harry doesn’t drag the lecture long, dismisses everyone after an hour once every question has been answered. You plan to escape right away, but it turns out Harry doesn’t want to just sweep it under the rug.

“Can I have a word with you?” he asks stepping to your desk as you are furiously shoving your stuff into your bag.

“Uh, sure,” you nod, not like you have a choice. You’d love to run, but he is your professor, it would sit well if you ditched him on the first day of school.

You slow your packing down so you finish right when the last student has left the room. Grabbing your bag you turn to face Harry who now seems furious, vivid if you might say. He strides over to the door and shuts it before facing you.

“You said you’re working!” is the first thing he throws at you, making you raise your eyebrows.

“Because I am! I’m finishing my masters so I can get a promotion!” you defend yourself.

“Wait, so how old are you?” he asks with a puzzled look.

“I’m twenty-four, what did you think?” You feel offended, did he think you were younger or older? Neither would sit well anyway, so there’s no good answer.

“I-I don’t know, but when you walked right into my class I surely thought you were twenty or something,” he explains exhaling sharply. “Okay, so twenty-four. But still, you could have told me you are a student here.”

“Excuse you? Why would have I told you, we met that night, of course I didn’t share my whole fucking life with you! Besides, you didn’t say a thing about being a college professor either,” you spat at him and it seems like he realizes your argument is quite valid. He can’t blame it all on you.

“Okay, you’re right. Sorry.”

There’s a short silence as the anger dies down and the awkwardness and shock returns. It’s such an impossible situation, you never thought you’d have to deal with anything similar. Having an affair with your professor? This shit is straight out of some teenage drama.

“I can… drop the lecture, if you want. Only took it as extra credit, because I was interested in it,” you offer the first rational option that comes to your mind.

“No, I mean… you don’t have to. Messing around with credits at this time sucks, you wouldn’t be able to find something else.”

“Okay, so then what?”

“I guess we’ll just pretend like nothing happened,” he shrugs before his eyes meet yours. “Like you did in the morning when you left without leaving your number.”

His comment spikes, you can tell he was hurt that you didn’t stay, though now is probably not the best time to bring it up.

“Well, sorry. I didn’t think of it as more,” you dryly say.

“That’s not how you came off, however. Having laughs with me and my friends like we’ve known each other for years and then…” he doesn’t finish, but you have an idea what he wanted to say. And then you had insanely good sex and fell asleep cuddling. It feels illegal to even think about it in this building.

“Look, I’m really sorry I left like that, but look at it this way: if we would have taken it further, it would be way worse now, wouldn’t it?”

“Maybe we would have talked more later and found out about this and wouldn’t have had to face each other under these circumstances.”

He has a point, but it doesn’t matter now. The past is the past and you have to figure out how to treat this odd situation.

“You think you can forget about it and we can be professional? I really don’t want this to affect my studies,” you truthfully ask. Harry stares at you for a long moment before nodding.

“I think we can make it work. We are both adults, let’s put it behind us.” You nod, satisfied with his answer. “So what’s your major and why do you need it for your job?”

“It’s communication. I’m set to take over our international partnership groups, but the board is set on having someone with a higher degree. I told my boss I started it back then but never finished when I started working. He said I would instantly get the position if I finished my masters, so… here I am.”

Harry nods, chewing on your answer. Suddenly, as you look at him, guilt washes over you. He is such a genuine and lovely man, yet you left so abruptly, never even giving him a chance. Not that it would have made this situation any different, but it seems like you hurt him.

“Harry, I really am sorry for leaving. I had a great time with you, but I don’t think dating just fits into my life right now. I felt like you’d want more and I didn’t want to deal with all the explaining and apologizing.”

“I get it. It just would have been nicer to talk it out. Not that it makes a change now,” he adds with a soft smile.

“So we’re good?” you ask hopefully.

“Yeah. Professional and all,” he smiles nodding and you feel like a rock has been lifted off your shoulders.

“Great. Well, I guess I’ll see you later, professor,” you add a little cheekily and you see the fire in his eyes instantly, but he holds his tongue, not commenting on how sexual it sounds from your mouth. You couldn’t miss out on the teasing.

“Dismissed,” he nods turning away from you as he walks back to his desk. You walk out with the longest sigh that’s ever left your lips.

“Professor Styles! You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Piper screams at you over Facetime later that week when the two of you have your usual little chat. You’re making dinner while she lies on her couch, staring at you from the screen with the widest eyes. You just told him the whole thing with Harry and she almost choked. “The man is a professor? This shit is wild!” “Not just a professor, he is my fucking teacher, Piper!” you chuckle awkwardly. You still haven’t fully wrapped your mind around the fact that you hooked up with your professor.

“How old is the dude to be teaching at a university?”

“Well, he said he is twenty-nine. I might have done a little search and since he is british, schooling was a little different for him. Apparently, he finished high school early as a fucking genius that he is, then uni, masters and everything. He started teaching at my school two years ago. The guy is like a big name in the field of social sciences.”

“Damn, he is a gem. So what’s gonna happen now? Y’all gonna fuck on his desk after class?”

“Piper!” you snap at her.

“What? I hope you’re not thinking about passing on him.”

“I passed on him way before I knew he was my professor. We can’t have anything going on because one, he is my professor and two, because I’m not looking for anyone to date.”

“You are so full of bullshit, Y/N,” she snorts. “So what if he is your professor? Just for this semester. Keep it a secret and then it’s done. You’re not some eighteen year-old freshman, he is just five years older than you.”

“You can’t be serious,” you shake your head. “I’m not going to have an affair with my teacher.”

“Not an affair, a relationship! You gotta hold onto good dick if you find one. This is what I did with Ronan,” she smirks satisfied.

“Yeah, it’s not happening.”

“Why not?”

“Piper, have you been listening to what I was saying?” you ask in disbelief. “Yeah, five years is not much, but I’m pretty sure there’s a rule against teachers dating students.”

“Rules are for losers. You literally found the perfect guy and you’ll just throw him away? Said it yourself after your hookup that you liked the guy. Why are you being so difficult?”

“Sorry for not wanting to get myself or Harry out of the university,” you scoff turning the stove off under the sauce before you burn it all.

“Harry? So you’re just calling him Harry?” Piper wiggles her eyebrows at you, leaning closer to the camera and you just groan at her. How was this the only thing that stuck to her?

“I can’t fucking believe you,” you mumble under your breath.

“Okay, yeah, I get you. I truly do. But I’m also your friend who wants to see you happy. So I’m just saying that if he makes a move… be open. He is your professor for only one semester, so once it’s over you are free to do whatever. Fuck, date, anything.”

Soon enough you fall into a pattern with your everydays. Mondays, Tuesdays and Friday mornings are for school. Wednesdays and Thursdays are spent on campus at your lectures and you usually go into the office on Friday afternoons to make sure everything works fine before you go off for the weekend. Having so many credits accepted from before, you have less classes meaning that you have less work to do with school as well. There are a few papers and assignments, but nothing too crazy. You genuinely enjoy your classes, each of them unique in a different way but if you’re being honest, Harry’s class is your favorite. He has done a great job at building up the lectures. Introduction classes tend to be shallow and boring, but not Harry’s. He has chosen interesting but still important topics and he makes sure the students are always involved and he isn’t just reading up his slides dully. There are a lot of discussions, everyone gets to tell their opinion and Harry genuinely seems interested in anything his students have to say.

You also came to realize his class is full of girls, only a handful of men dared to sign up. You didn’t pay attention the first time for obvious reasons, but as you looked around the next week you saw heart eyes and lustful gazes towards the man standing on the podium talking. You’re not sure if Harry doesn’t notice it or just chooses to ignore it, but he is doing a good job at staying professional. In the aspect of your situation as well.

For a bit you were afraid he would have hard feelings towards you or treat you differently, but it’s not the case. You are just another pair of curious eyes and ears at his lectures, only that sometimes you catch yourself daydreaming about that one night. When that happens you can always feel yourself blushing and an irrational fear that Harry can hear your thoughts invades your mind, though it’s stupid. But you always try to stay low just in case.

 It’s early October when an unexpected project lands in your hands at work, setting you back in your schedule. You work through the weekend just to get it right but that means that you couldn’t start working on your paper for Harry’s class that has to be turned in by the end of the week. So next Monday morning when class is over you walk up to him to ask for some more time.

“Hey, can I have a word with you?” you ask and as he glances up at you he seems surprised you initiated a private conversation.

“Sure, what’s the matter?”

“I just wanted to ask if I could have just a little more time to turn my paper in. I know it’s due Friday, but I’m a little behind and it would be amazing if I could work on it on the weekend. I’m sure I’d be done by next Monday.”

You’re afraid he might think you want to use your history and take advantage of it, but it seems like Harry looks more concerned than upset about your request.

“Yeah, sure. Everything alright though?”

Your eyes wander around the room, only a few more people are left inside and they are heading out as well. For some reason, you are a little paranoid that someone might figure out what happened between you and Harry though it’s nearly impossible.

“I’m good, I just got some extra work last week and it totally threw me off.”

“Oh, what kind of project?”

“I just have to put together a communication plan for three of our partners and it’s taking way more time than I expected,” you admit with a chuckle.

“I think I have an amazing book about international communication plans. I could lend it to you, if you’d like. It has amazing tips on sustainability.”

“That would be… amazing,” you say, surprised by his nice offer.

“Are you on campus tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I have a lecture. I can come by your office.”

“Fantastic,” he smiles warmly. “And don’t worry about the paper. You’re not the first one to ask for more time. If you hand it in on Monday it’s gonna be perfectly fine,” he assures you.

“Thank you Harry. I-I mean Professor Styles,” you correct yourself, feeling awkward that you called him by his first name, but he just chuckles.

“You can call me Harry outside class.” “Okay,” you smile nodding. “Then, see you tomorrow,” you say as you leave the room.

You spend the rest of the day working unfortunately, still a lot to do with your project. It’s hard to harmonize three different companies from three nations, working in different time zones. The next day you decide to skip your lecture in the noon. The professor is not too strict on attendance so you’re just gonna find a nice coffee place, set up a temporary office and work some more so you can finish everything on time.

You find Harry’s office easily. The door is open and you spot him sitting behind his desk right away, searching for something in a stack of papers. His office resembles a lot to his home, it has a cozy vibe but looks still very much academic with all the books lining on the shelves on the two sides of his desk. You knock on the doorframe as you arrive and his green eyes shoot up to your figure.

“Hey! Come on in!” he smiles at you. “Just a moment please,” he asks, still vigorously flipping the pages until he finally stops. “Here it is, I’ve been looking for it for ages,” he mumbles to himself and you smile. He looks a lot like the version of him you met at the bar. A fun, nice guy, clearly a little lost in his own world, but it amuses you rather then annoys. You wonder what could be happening in that brilliant mind of his.

He pushes himself away from the table and walks over to his bag that lies on the small sofa in the corner. Digging into it he pulls out a thick book that he hands over to you.

“Wow, lengthy,” you chuckle as you flip through the pages quickly.

“Yeah, looks a little dry but I promise it’s good. I put a note to the chapters that are the most relevant to you,” he explains and just then you spot a yellow post-it on one of the pages, a few more following behind.

“Oh, thank you. That’s really nice of you.” You smile up at him warmly, holding the book to your chest. “I’ll bring it back as soon as I’m done.”

“Take your time,” he nods. “And how is it going so far?”

“Uh, it’s… going,” you say with a tired chuckle. “It’s a little tricky, but I’m sure I’ll solve it. I’m gonna work some more on it now, so hopefully I’ll be done within the next few days.”

“You’re not going to class?”

“No, I allowed myself a skip this week so I’m gonna find a café or something.”

“You could… stay here, if you’d like. I could even help if you let me have a look at it. I mean I’m not an expert in communication but I’m good with multicultural stuff.” His offer catches you by surprise and for a moment you want to say no, but then you realize he might actually be helpful. Another set of eyes is always beneficial.

“You don’t have a class?”

“Not until four, no.”

“And you sure I can stay? I don’t want to bother you.”

“You’re not. Please, I would love to take a look at what you’ve put together.”

You hesitate for another moment, but then let your bag slip off your shoulder as you walk over to the armchair in front of his desk.

You pull your laptop out of your bag and set it on the table so both of you can see from the two sides of the desk. You open up what you have so far, explaining it in details and Harry listens intently, nodding and humming along so you know he is following. At the end you tell him your concerns, the ones you’ve been trying to rule out these past few days so you can finish it all up.

“This looks amazing, Y/N. I’m very impressed by the way you synchronized it all.” “Thank you, but it’s not perfect, so I have a lot to work on. Any thoughts though?”

Harry asks you a few questions before he gives his two cents, telling you what he would do and change. His point of view actually helps a lot, allows you to see the whole thing from a different angle and he gives you some awesome tips. Before you could realize, the two of you are deep in the project, all kinds of books splattered across his desks as you work together to finish the thing. Two hours pass by as it was just two minutes, but at the end, you have it all figured out.

“Oh my God. I can’t believe it’s done!” you breathe out, scrolling through the document you put together for your boss. Everything is put together, well-thought and in place, thanks to Harry’s help. “Harry, thank you. You literally saved my life,” you chuckle softly, leaning back in the armchair you haven’t left in hours.

“You had a strong base, I just helped you find a few solutions, but it was all you.”

“Don’t belittle it, you literally had so many ideas even in fields you are not familiar with. You really are a genius.”

“I’m just good at using my sources,” he smiles at you, glancing down at all the books he has pulled out during the process. “It was fun working on something so practical, I’m way too used to literal things.”

“Oh stop, you want me to feel bad because you are this ridiculously smart college professor who doesn’t get to work on practical projects?” you tease him earning a boyish smile.

“Maybe I do want that.”

“Well, you’re not getting it,” you laugh and he joins you. Once the mood settles you realize how good it felt to be around him. The dynamic the two of you had was so great, working with him felt like a fun activity. And now that you’re done, you really don’t want to leave this office though you know you have to.

“You know, I might come to you with work stuff all the time. You just spared so much time for me, I really thought I wouldn’t finish before Friday.”

“My door is always open,” he smirks shrugging. “I’m glad we got to work together. You really are great at what you are doing. Your boss is lucky to have you around. I’m sure you’ll be an amazing group leader once you get your degree.”

“Thank you.”

His compliment actually means a lot. Aside from this weird situation, Harry is a brilliant mind in his field. Hearing him tell you that he thinks you are doing an amazing work is such a boost to your ego.

“Well, I owe you one for this,” you tell him as you start packing up.

“Yeah? I’ll keep that in mind for sure,” he smirks, watching you put your things away.

“Mhm, see you around, Harry,” you smile, waving in his way before walking out.

“See you, Y/N.”

Thanks to Harry you get to turn in your project in time and write his paper until the original due date as well. You send it in email and for your biggest surprise he answers later that day.

“Glad you could finish in time, can’t wait to read your thoughts on the topic! –H”

It’s a simple message, but what catches your eyes is the signature at the end. It reads his full name, Prof. Harry Edward Styles, the school’s name, his official office hours and at the very end… his phone number.

Looking at it you think it seems a little out of place, as if it doesn’t belong there originally, he just added it to your email, but you can’t tell. Is this a hint? Does he want you to call or text him? What if he puts it into every email, not just yours? Would it be awkward to text? Why do you even want to text him in the first place? You agreed to stay away from him!

It keeps eating you the whole evening, staying on your mind, doesn’t matter what you do. After you’ve drunk a glass of wine with your dinner you finally make up your mind, convincing yourself it’s strictly friendly as you type in the words.

Y/N: Turned my project in, my boss already emailed me he likes it so far. Thanks for the help again. –Y/N

His reply comes fast and luckily, he doesn’t question why you decided to text him.

Harry: Glad I could help! Ran over your paper, looks great too. You’re doing an amazing job, Y/N.

There’s no stopping after that. The two of you keep talking through texts and though it’s all casual and friendly, you don’t feel bad about it, because in class, you still keep it professional and you have no advantage. He treats you just like any other student, keeping your friendship away from whatever happens in the classroom.

The line slowly starts to blur, however. You think way more about Harry than you should and you actually find yourself regretting that you’re not able to get as close to him as you want. He fascinates and attracts you in ways no one ever could before and something is telling you he shares these feelings, but you are both keeping it at bay, afraid what would happen if you let your desires take the lead. You just wish you could go out with him, have drinks with him and his friends like the night you met him, forget about how he would always stand on the podium on Monday morning no matter what happens and he’ll be grading your papers. Mixing feelings with this impossible situation might turn it into a disaster and you know you have to stay strong, but it’s getting harder.

Harry is the kind of teacher who likes to finish his class before everyone else, so when December rolls around everyone already has their grades from the papers that had to be turned in through the semester, so when December rolls around it’s all just free talks, he starts interesting discussions about topics students want to talk about. His lectures feel like free time but still, no one skips them because they are always so entertaining and interesting.

“Alright, we’ll meet for the last time next week. As per suggested, we’ll talk about the European Union so get your questions and thoughts ready,” he smiles around, ending the lecture. “Y/N? Can we talk for a second?”

“Sure,” you smile at him. Putting your things away you walk up to his desk much more carelessly than before.

“So I have a question and you can totally tell me if you don’t want to go, but there’s this great International Affairs Summit next weekend just a few towns over, not more than a two hours ride. I thought that you might be interested in going? They’ll have some awesome presentations and displays, thought it might interest you.”

For the first time since you’ve met him, he seems nervous, stumbling over his words a little as he avoids looking into your eyes. He looks so much younger, not at all like the respected professor that he is. He is just Harry now, the guy you bonded over that stout he paid for.

“Sounds nice,” you answer smiling at him, he seems surprised at your answer. “I would love to go.”

“Really?” You chuckle at his disbelief.

“Really.”

“Just to be clear it’s not a school thing, it’s gonna be the two of us,” he clears and your grin widens.

“It’s clear. Still want to go.”

“Amazing,” he breathes out, a smile finally tugging on his lips. “I can pick you up in the morning.”

“Sure. Can we discuss the details in text? I have a meeting soon.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. We’ll talk later,” he nods enthusiastically, seemingly very joyful that you agreed to go on this trip with him.

“See you later, Harry!” you wave at him walking out of the classroom.

“Later!”

Piper would be very satisfied to know that you are going away with Harry this weekend. Though you still try to tell yourself it’s nothing more than just a friendly thing, you’re not fooling yourself. You want it to be more and now that the semester is over, your doubts and fears are almost fully forgotten and left at the beginning of September. Soon Harry won’t be your professor and you now see that it wouldn’t be that bad if something more happened between the two of you. You grew close through the year even though you only kept in touch through phone, appearing publicly wasn’t really an option, but still, you got to know him better and you liked him. A lot. There was no use in denying that.

Harry picks you up early in the morning and so the little trip begins. You take control over the music and play some of your favorites to him while he drives, educating him on recent popular music. Then he shows you some of his favorites, playing a lot of Fleetwood Mac and you weren’t expecting anything else from him.

He looks great today in a creamy colored knitted sweater, black wool coat and grey checkered slacks. His hair is now longer than when you met him for the first time, but it just adds to his amazing look, he rocks it pretty well.

The two hours pass by fast and you arrive to the Summit. Checking out the program the two of you choose the presentations you’re most interested in, leaving some time in the middle of the day to have lunch somewhere near.

You choose a sandwich bar that has a nice winter garden at the back looking out to a little pond. You sit at a small table, the conversation hasn’t stopped since the morning, only paused when the presentations were happening, but you always picked up right where you were before. Harry tells you about his time at university back in the UK and you’re a little surprised to hear that he was kind of a wild kid for a while.

“You? Wild?” you laugh. “I can’t picture it.

“It was mostly the first year though. Felt like I can’t miss out on anything so I was at every party and gathering,” he chuckles softly.

“And why did you stop?” “I don’t know,” he shrugs, but you know he is not telling you the truth, so you gently kick his leg under the table. “Alright, but you can’t laugh!”

“I won’t, I promise!”

“It sounds very nerdy, but I fell in love with studying. I mean I was always a good student, that’s why I could finish high school earlier, but I did it to be done with it already. But then I grew an odd love to studying, to learning new things. I wanted to read every book there is, know everything in the world.”

“And do you know everything now?” you ask with a soft smile, completely in awe with how he talks about his passion for sciences. You don’t find it funny at all, more admirable.

“Not even a fraction of it,” he chuckles. “But I learn something new every day,” he shrugs.

“What did you learn today?”

“That Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus had… beef?” He is a little unsure about the last word that you taught him today in the car when you were listening to a song from Miley. It sounds so funny hearing from his mouth.

“Yeah, beef,” you nod chuckling. “Great knowledge you’ve learned today.”

“I learn a lot from you,” he smiles cheekily. “But really. I’m glad you could come today. Felt like I needed to take this step since you took the one before this.”

“Huh?” you ask, a little confused about what he is talking about. Then, as if he realizes he just said something he shouldn’t have, he chuckles nervously, keeping his eyes on his iced tea on the table.

“Well, I hope this won’t be too weird, but when you emailed me your paper back in October and I replied… I put my phone number into my signature and told myself that if you use it, I’ll take it as a hint that you… are open to more. And you did send me a text, took the risk so I thought I should be taking it next.”

You look at him in awe. So you were right, he did put his number in just for you and wanted you to use it. You’re amazed at how sneaky he was to find out how you’re feeling about him, but now you’re glad you took the risk and texted him.

“So you asked me to come today. I see where we are standing,” you nod smirking.

“You’re not mad? At the number thing?”

“Why would I?” you ask with a soft chuckle. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes, but we agreed to keep it professional and all along I yearned for something more and threw you this hint. When I sent the email I wanted to take it back immediately, thinking that you’d see through me right away,” he admits.

“Well, I didn’t,” you tell him making him laugh. “I debated for a long time whether I should text you or not and then just… said fuck it!”

“I’m glad you did,” he smirks and his gaze holds yours for a little, you can feel the moment you’re sharing. This conversation has definitely opened a door for the two of you.

The rest of the day passes by peacefully. You love having Harry with you and discuss the presentations with him later. He has a great mind, you love sharing your thoughts with him, get deep whenever something really catches your attention. It’s so easy to talk to him and you actually feel like he values your thoughts, unlike some men you had to deal with in the past.

During the ride back home you keep thinking about whether you should take it any further or not. You surely don’t want him to be just a one night stand anymore, it’s still very fresh but you actually feel like you’ve started falling for him and you wonder where he is standing in the situation right now. Today has changed a lot so when he parks in front of your building, you decide to just risk it again, like you did it so many times with him.

“Would you want to come up for a little? I could show you that article I talked about today,” you say, trying to sound calm though you see the surprise in his eyes, he wasn’t expecting this invitation.

“I… would love to. You sure it’s not too late?”

“Positive,” you smirk at him unbuckling yourself.

He follows you up to your apartment. It’s definitely not as big as his home, but you take pride in it. It’s the perfect size for you and you’ve worked a lot on making it your home. Harry is looking around, inspecting the place as you walk into the small kitchen and grab two bottles of beer, offering one for him.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, following you to sit on the plush couch you adore so much. It feels like a cloud is swallowing you up. “This place suits you.”

“Thanks. You know, this is what I thought about yours too.”

“Yeah? I think mine is just a mess,” he chuckles, taking a sib from his beer.

“It’s a good mess. Liked it.”

There is some tension, but in a good way if you might say. As if you both were unsure about where it’s heading, walking on eggshells, not knowing where the boundaries are lying as of right now.

“You know, the semester is almost over,” you imply, giving him an innocent look.

“I’m very much aware of that, the pile of tests on my desk waiting to be graded reminds me every day of it,” he chuckles making you smile too.

“Mhm and it also means that very soon you won’t be my professor anymore.”

You scoot closer, your knees coming in contact with his thigh and he sucks on his breath, looking down at the spot where you two touch. You really hope he won’t turn you down, because you’ve already gotten your hopes up about making it work.

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” you nod confidently. He doesn’t move and you’re losing patience. So grabbing his beer from his hand you place his and yours as well to the small coffee table before shamelessly swinging a leg over him, sitting on his lap. Your hands rest on his broad shoulders and his hands immediately find their way to your waist, his thumb caressing the skin that shows from under your ridden up shirt. However you see hesitation in his eyes.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on in your head, talk to me,” you ask him softly, tilting your head to the side.

“I just… I know soon it’s gonna be alright for us to… you know. But I… I hope you know it’s not a game for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“That I’m all in, Y/N. I know it’s been a crazy few months, but I really like you. A lot. I love talking to you, I love it when you are talking so passionately about things that interest you. I love how open and hardworking you are. I think that you’re an amazing person and I don’t want this to just be some passing, quick thing. I’m serious about this. About you.”

You can’t hold your growing smile back as your hands move up to cup his cheeks. Leaning closer you peck his lips softly.

“Great. Because I’m serious too.”

Harry breathes out in relief and a second later he is kissing you hungrily, letting his desire take over after holding back for so long. You weren’t the only one having a hard time during lectures. He hated how he always found himself looking in your way, thinking about how beautiful you are, how amazing it felt to hold you in his arms and it ached his heart that he had to keep himself so far away from you. When you took the risk and texted him, he could cry in excitement and he knew right in that moment that he is fucked for you.

Though it started a little rocky, now that he has you in his arms again, he wouldn’t change a thing, because it brought him to this very moment and he is overwhelmed with joy. He is more than ready to show you how serious he is about you, not just with his words but his actions, so he is quick to leave the couch and navigate into your bedroom to relive that mind-blowing night the two of you shared back in late August.

“Congrats, Miss Y/L/N. We are looking forward to seeing you work your magic as the leader of the group.” The executive manager shakes your hand and you see your boss from the corner of your eye, looking at you proudly.

“Thank you. I won’t disappoint,” you smile back.

You say your goodbye to everyone else in the room before finally heading out with the widest smile on your face. You did it. You finally got the promotion.

You finished your masters just a month ago and this meeting was scheduled almost immediately. For a while you were afraid they wouldn’t wait until you finish your studies, but they proved that they wanted no one else but you, making you feel so valued.

Walking back to your office you do the rest of your work left for the day, finishing up every pending task so you can be free for the weekend. When five o’clock finally comes you pack up and head out. Pushing through the double doors you step out into the warm July afternoon, immediately spotting a mop of curls you know all too well. Harry is waiting for you leant against his car with a huge bouquet of flowers, smiling at you with pride as he watches you cross the parking lot.

“What’s this for?” you ask teasingly when he pushes himself away from the car and kisses you softly before saying anything.

“A little something to celebrate your promotion.”

“How do you know I got it?” you ask, trying your best to sound serious. He narrows his eyes at you in suspicion.

“I knew you’d get it, who else would get it? Did they not fucking give it to you?” he asks, working himself up at the thought that you weren’t the one to get promoted.

“Relax, I got it,” you chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him a little longer this time.

“I was ready to fight whoever I needed to,” he mumbles against your lips, a smirk tugging on the corners of his mouth.

“What a gentleman,” you giggle pecking his lips again.

“That I am. And not just because I would throw a fist for my love, but because I knew you’d get it so I went ahead and booked us a mini vacation for this weekend. So let’s head home, you have thirty minutes to pack before we leave,” he smirks down at you, clearly satisfied with himself.

Harry is always full of surprises. In the one and half year you’ve been officially together, he never failed to surprise you with the tiniest things, make you feel loved and appreciated no matter how long you’ve been dating.

“Where are we going?” you ask in excitement, eyebrows shooting up on your forehead.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?”

Harry listened to every hint you’ve dropped how you’d love to spend some time away in some cabin in the woods, disconnecting from the world just for a little and he found the perfect place for that a few hours away. He knew you’d be the one to get promoted so he took the risk to book it weeks ahead, making sure you’ll have the perfect place for the celebration. You have a slight guess it’s gonna be like that because Harry is great at taking hints, but what you doesn’t know is that deep down his already packed suitcase, there’s a little velvety box with a ring inside it that he plans to put on your finger this weekend, hoping you’ll give him the answer he wants to hear.

And you will. Because you are head over heels in love with this man, have been for a while and you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

The two of you head home and your hand finds his over the shifting gear, lacing your fingers together with his. Glancing at you he kisses your knuckles, pressing a long kiss to your empty ring finger.

“I love you,” he tells you and the three little words never fail to make your heart flutter. While the lamp is still red you quickly lean over and steal a kiss from his soft, pink lips.

“I love you too, professor,” you tell him teasingly. He didn’t like it when you called him that back when he was still just your professor, but since the air has been clear, he grew a liking to it, especially because he can’t get enough of hearing you moan it in the bedroom.

You call him a lot of other pet names too. Baby, H, Har, Sweets, whatever comes to your mind while he likes calling you his baby, Angel, Princess or Love. And as the two of you head home he thinks about how he wants two new names to be added to the list. Husband and wife.

 -

Thank you for reading! Please like and/or reblog if you enjoyed!

 @harrysgloves​

[foster-the-world]

Nonstop

I've been studying nonstop since I bombed my last exam. Five final tests to go. One today. My eyes are fried and I still have nine days of full time studying. It helped that the heat finally broke so I was able to enjoy a pre study walk this morning. Whenever I start to feel like I'm getting the material I realize there is so much more I don't know. They put both pediatric nursing and labor/delivery in the same course. It's way too much information and no wonder infant/mother mortality numbers are where they are at in this country. Pre-eclampsia and postpartum hemorrhage are the main reasons black women in this country are dying at such alarming rates during childbirth. The extent of acknowledging that was mentioning in passing that African American women are at a higher risk for these two conditions. No mention of how, why what can be done differently or (most importantly to get the point across) how bad it is.

Yesterday Bee got mad at Rebel (rightfully - as mentioned she's difficult nowadays) and said she's not my real sister. I'm not sure how to handle that. I'm going to ask my adopted parent group for advice. So far, I've countered with something along the lines of "she is but its okay to be really frustrated with her. Having a sister can be really hard." I don't want to dismiss her feelings but also don't want her to say hurtful things when she's upset. She's also made comments about her real Mom or her real cousins but not at times of anger. Thus far, I've ignore the "real" portion and address whatever topic she brings up. I'd be annoyed if Rebel ever said Bee wasn't her real sister. I don't want Bee to get away with things because she's adopted while also acknowledging her complicated feelings/confusion/etc.

Thinking of booking a Disney cruise for October and surprising the girls the morning of. It leaves from NYC and is five days. It's cheaper then I would have guessed. $850 including taxes/fee a person with all food, etc included. Which feels like a deal considering flights to Bermuda are $300-$400 a person. It spends two days in Bermuda but we are mostly in it for the on boat stuff. We'd skip the off boat excursions and hang at the beach. At first I thought the whole family could go but my husband doesn't have the vacation days and baby boy would not do well sleeping in a room with all of us. Plus, they have some strict rules about no diapers in the pool and even some splash pad areas. My Mom may join. The girls would miss three days of school but not worried about that at all.

This trip can only happen if the house sale goes through. Not happy we now have to wait for September for that to happen. The people who are buying our house are also bought the rental company that manages our house. Which meant they could also throw in no commission on the July/August rentals when they asked us to extend the sale. Which is a nice bonus. I'm dying to know how much they paid. It's a successful business with very little overhead - a website and an employee or two + a team of cleaners. They charge 25% of the rental income to the home owners and way over charge for all of the rental rates.

Baby boy court on Friday. Send out good vibes that something moves forward. He had his two year well visit yesterday. She wasn't worried about his eczema - even though I think it looks terrible right now. 99% for height and 80% for weight. She said he'll def be "well over 6 ft." I learned in nursing school if you double the 2 year old height you will get a rough estimate of their adult height. As of today that would put him at 6.2. They don't mention if its the beginning of being two or the end???

Back to burning my eyes out with studying.

[fatgirlgetsfitatlast]

2022 Year End Summary

What happened this year, hmmm, let's see what I can remember...

April: Mad Max, the Road Warrior Kitten arrived.

There had been a couple of stray cats hanging around the farm for some weeks and we'd been feeding them. The female was beautiful, the male was HUGE. This is the female, who would later be called, 'Mama'.

We were worried she might be pregnant, but turns out she was just putting on weight because of getting fed on the regular. She showed up pretty soon with two kittens...

The kittens would hide under the vehicles and if you looked at them, they would CLIMB UP INTO THE UNDERCARRIAGE. I had to scare them out of the motor compartment of my car before I drove it that first week after they showed up. I was so paranoid about one of them still being in there, I stopped several times while driving from the farm to my house to check. My BF was not so thorough before he left to drive to my house, 60 miles away over country roads, interstates through Tampa, and stop-and-go city streets. He got to my house on a Tuesday and on Thursday, when he was getting ready to go back, we heard it. The meow! This kitten had not only survived the ride (that road has some seriously huge bumps! I don't know how he stayed in!), but then STAYED UNDER THE TRUCK FOR TWO DAYS with no food or water! HE WAS TINY. Just over 1 pound...

He's lived with me at the beach, traveling back and forth with me to the farm every week, but always an indoor cat since then. He's grown into a Big Boi ...

After many years of resisting getting another dog, it seems like the universe conspired to place another little life in my home. I'm fine with it.

We got his mom fixed a bit after this. We don't know what happened to the other kitten, but the BF says he saw the other kitten at the farm when he got back that Thursday, so he didn't make the ride.

Here is mama kitty on the way to be spayed. It took us a whole week to trap her -- she's smart! I would've offered her a home indoors, but she went BAT SHIT CRAZY when confined, it just wasn't going to work. She remains living at the farm, free and doing as she pleases.

Also in April: Hit my highest weight in the last SEVERAL YEARS at 331.

September: We sold the farm.

(Don't worry, I made arrangements for mama kitty and her boyfriend, they are still there, being fed and taken care of).

For the last 12 years we have been dividing our time between our 10 acre farm and a house near the beach. They are about 60 miles apart. I would go up there on the weekends, (Friday night-Monday morning), and he would come down to my house during the week (Tuesday morning-Thursday morning). This gave us both some 'me time' and was the best of both worlds -- beach and country. However, the BF has some serious health issues and they have only gotten worse the last couple of years. I was having to pick up more and more of the work and it was just becoming too hard for me to handle it all, so, we made the decision to sell the farm and both live at the beach full time. This happened VERY QUICKLY. Like, he made the call on a Monday and by the next Monday there was a relator out taking pictures and by later that week we had a contract on it. This is all great except for the fact that there was 32 years of JUNK in the house and the outbuildings and barns that had to be dealt with and I was the only one healthy enough to do it.

I ended up working myself into an infected/ulcerated toe, walking 25k steps a day for WEEKS as I cleaned and hauled stuff away, donating, trashing, or moving stuff to my house. Moving stuff to my house meant I had to make room for it, so there was more sorting, trashing, and donating to be done from here to make room for the stuff from the farm. It was a NIGHTMARE and I still don't have everything put away, the garage is stacked with boxes of garage stuff that needs to find a place to be put away.

October: BF needs stent in carotid artery.

Since all his doctors were still 60 miles away, this meant driving those 60 miles up to the hospital there, and then even after he was released, more driving up there for the follow ups. During this time also, his eyesight started to become an issue. Apparently, this is common after having new lenses put in during cataract surgery, which he'd had some years before. But that meant, even when he was cleared to drive, he couldn't, so I was spending hours and hours every week driving him to doctors appointments. At this time I tried to get in to see a doctor of my own about my toe, which was clearly infected, my whole foot was starting to swell up and turn red, but every appointment was weeks out. Finally we got the BF in to see the eye specialist and they lasered this cloudiness away and he could drive again. Thank goodness!

November 15: Got in to see podiatrist about toe

The news was rather alarming, enough so that it scared me into going back on keto, and while I have 'cheated' at Christmas and Thanksgiving, overall I have kept to the low carb lifestyle in an effort to get my undiagnosed diabetes under control. I have neuropathy in both feet; he said I missed being able to feel about half of the little 'pokes' he did with a needle thing. I, of course, knew I had that, but in my defense, I've had numbness in my feet since I was in my 30s, I think brought on by doing high impact aerobics on hard flooring for several years. I simply ignored it when it got worse.

I also made an appointment with a primary care doctor-- the first I've had in about 8 or 9 years. That appointment is January 4th, so we'll see how bad everything is then.

December 31:

I'm down about 10 pounds since November 15th, which I would've hoped for more, but down is better than up, right? I have been staying true to low carb for the most part, trying to heal this toe, which is still not healed. I am not supposed to walk on it at all, but that has never happened. I did stay off it quite a lot at first, but that just isn't sustainable, and I have to workout to lose weight and also help the blood sugar and blood pressure numbers.

Throughout the year, I have been working out 3x a week doing Plyojam and Yoga via Zoom, but have not done much more than that. I know I need to do more, so have committed to a 30 minute workout every day. Thus far I'm on a streak of 12 days; when I workout later today, it will be 13. Hoping to keep this going all through next year and add in more walking as soon as I feel like my toe can handle it.

Here's where I am right now. It pains me to post these, but I want to be honest about my condition and have these for comparison later...

Next jeans goal:

Weight:

So, here we go again. Into a new year, trying to get healthy AGAIN. I don't have specific goals other than that -- work out more as possible, eat keto/low carb, get blood sugar and blood pressure under control, feel better.

[st-louis]

amanda suzuki on locked on canadiens

nick’s journey started when he was small, two or three years old, whenever rob suzuki could get his feet in a pair of skates

also during nighttime feedings and amanda suzuki was exhausted, rob would offer to give nick his last bottle and they would sit up and watch a hockey game together 🥺that was something they had in common.

they realized he was talented really early on, not on the hockey side but he was really good at soccer. when he was just turning six years old he was playing on a competitive soccer team for a u-8 soccer team and no one could believe he was only six.

so they knew really early on that both boys were very athletic.

rob loved soccer too so both boys played soccer in the summer and hockey in the winter but at some point they had to choose since they overlapped in september/october. both boys pursued hockey.

he was on the montreal canadiens little timbit team in london.

he wasn’t a die-hard leafs fan growing up but that’s what they watched in the household. rob was a fan of the leafs but “of course priorities change when your kid starts playing for another nhl team. there’s not a leafs fan in this family anymore.”

both rob and amanda agreed that if the boys were passionate about a sport they would wholly support them in that journey. both of them loved hockey, so they set aside those family vacations or renovations got the last bit out of the cars before having to buy a new one. gave them every opportunity, but they had the skill to take them to the next level.  they didn’t feel like these things were sacrifices.

they didn’t do extra stuff like put them in hockey camps or speed skating, they just didn’t think it was necessary. they were good enough.

“we love our children, we want them to have more than we had growing up”

she talks a lot about how the hockey experience and the boys have bought a lot of joy to the family (the people they’ve meant, the countries they’ve gone to, etc)

what does it feel like when your son’s name get called at the entry draft? it’s still surreal, but because she didn’t have experience prior to it, it was all new and all excited. they knew he was hopefully going in the first round but it wasn’t a given. 

they got a little bit of a head’s up a minute before his name was called, his agent dave gagné said “okay amanda, here it comes, what’s coming up?” and they called his name and she was like “oh my god, that’s you nick!” and she grabbed his knee and slapped it and then stood up and accidentally threw her pack of tissues.

it is just as surreal and exciting the second time, but more stressful because they knew what to expect. they were just hoping for the first round. and when carolina took ryan they were just so thrilled--two kids drafted, it’s just amazing.

how serious is the rivalry between the two brothers? when they are competing they are very competitive, but together, nick and ryan drive each other to do better. they love each other, they are close brothers but there is a bit of a competitive edge. 

ryan went first overall in the ohl so he beat nick but then nick beat ryan in the nhl draft so it’s even. 

both of them took their own paths and are individual players, and have different strengths. they are both very different and she doesn’t like to compare.

amanda saw them play against each other in the ohl, and they never played on the same shift, so it was good they didn’t actually go up against each other directly but the teams would let them have faceoffs against each other a few times. 

amanda used to carry a barrie and owen sound glove and wear one of each when they’d watch them play, and move from section to section to sit with owen sound or barrie and go back.

she is waiting until ryan makes carolina and then might get a split montreal/carolina jersey.

they were in vegas when nick got traded because he was doing the rookie tournament and had just finished a game. amanda’s older sister and her husband met amanda and rob for a vacation and to watch nick play hockey. it was an awesome experience, at the red rock casino area, right across from the practice arena was, just thinking oh we’ll go back to the casino hotel and have something to eat and were sitting at the bar having dinner and drinks when she texted nick and said ‘hey come meet us after you’re done’ and then they’re sitting and rob got a message on twitter from one of the vegas guys and he said ‘oh we’re really going to miss nick it was really great to get to know him’ and rob was like “WHAT?” and then ‘i think nick just got traded???’ so they went on to twitter and there it was that he’d been traded to montreal.

nick’s AGENT hadn’t even known.

the vegas player rep walked nick over to meet his family and hand him off and make sure he was okay.

ryan mcgill used to be his coach at owen sound and is the assistant coach at vegas, and came over and sat with them and said, you know, whatever can i do? don’t worry about this, this is a great opportunity for nick, helped them with any questions and concerns. he was a big fan of nick’s in owen sound and still is. they still keep in contact.

they were just happy they were there because it was good for him. 

the next day was media, and before he had to fly to montreal they did a family day and did some touristy stuff in vegas. they helped him transition over and then they flew home, he flew to montreal, and the rest is history.

they had just bought vegas jerseys for the whole family and stuff for his room but the team refunded everything back and were so generous saying we’re sorry to see him go. 

but they did keep the jerseys because they were part of his journey. we deserve to keep his jersey and say that was his draft team and his first team.

nick has always been very calm, cool, collected kid all the way through from the time he was a baby. he was never a fussy baby, he would play and go to anyone, he didn’t act strange around anyone. he’s been in contact with other people since he went to daycare at six months old and he’s been around them and had to learn how to cooperate and share and never had a temper tantrum. very calm. the same way rob is; very chill.

nick would watch the guys play in the nhl and would see something and then go out and practice it at practice the next day and would finesse it and incorporate it into his game.

has always been two steps ahead in a hockey game. 

if something doesn’t work he’ll go back and try it again and try to fix it.

how does it feel to hear that he is the future of the habs? it’s a lot of pressure to see that when people make comments like that and it’s lovely that people say that but at the end of the day he’s a day by day kind of guy and take things day by day. he doesn’t look a year ahead or two years ahead. never ever goes around saying i’m going to be this on the team or do that one the team. all he wants to do is contribute to the team’s success.

what was the stanley cup run like for them? she has a lot of leafs fans that she works with so there was a lot of ribbing going on saying how they’d never get through the first round, never beat the leafs, and she said “well ‘let’s have a little bet on that.’” in the back of her mind she thought it was a big ask and they were down 3-1 and then we came back guns blazing. 

but nick loves that. he loves that pressure. 

“not on my watch. we’re not going to lose.” he has a different gear that he shifts into and gets a little angry maybe, a little mad.

olympic longlist? he just kind of dropped it into casual conversation, like “you know, i just got a call, yeah, a meeting i have to go to for team canada” and amanda was like “what? WHAT?” and then nick was like “yeah, yeah, i could be going to the olympics, but it’s a long list.” he wasn’t fussed. 

she knows he’s proud of himself though.

he’s played for team canada since u-17, u-18 he went to world juniors, so hockey canada knows what he can bring to the table. if not this time, then maybe in four years. he’s only 22! he’s still young. it is a privilege to be on that list even so.

when he is with all of the guys he is a little more loose and silly, but if he’s in a family environment he just does the right thing.

nick is not a big conversationalist or chitty chatty guy.

who’s his best friend on the team? not really a best friend but he has been hanging out with cole caufield and jake evans and ryan poehling and some of the other younger guys. but he is very close with all of the older guys too, toffoli and anderson. jeff and julie petry have had him over for dinner (the young guys too, they are instant baby sitters). 

nick has been welcomed into many of the homes of his teammates and given dinners in the early years and taken care of, and he’s taken cole under his wing to say hey buddy come on over and hang out, you’re the new guy.

as a team they are very close and would do anything for each other.

amanda knows he’s being taken care of and if anything happened, the other families, the WAGs would step in and help him or his girlfriend.

milo is “her grandkitty,” he is a troublemaker and a sassy cat and nick loves him to death.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Stupid Game...But They’re All in High School This Time AU (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

Trigger warning for very graphic attempted sexual assault

"What are the rules?" Jay asked you as you double-checked your backpack to make sure you had everything for the first day of your freshman year of high school.

You sighed and zipped up your backpack. Your two older brothers, Jay a junior, and Will a senior, had already gone over and over this with you. "No spaghetti straps, no backpacks in class--"

"Not written school rules," Jay told you, abruptly cutting you off. "Unwritten school rules."

"Oh," you said as Will entered the living room, holding his car keys in his hand. "Walk on the right side of the hallways, always remember your locker combination or write it somewhere so you will remember it after long breaks, and no talking to the varsity football players unless it's Adam, Kevin, or Kelly because all the rest of them are absolute douchebags."

"There it is," Jay said and grabbed onto the handle of your backpack. "And if someone does this?" He tugged hard and you flew backward.

"Turn around and swing," you told him and quickly regained your balance once he let go.

"Jesus, Jay," Will said and smacked Jay upside the head, resulting in Jay letting out an ow in response. "Don't scare the poor girl. No one's gonna do that. It only happens in the movies." He turned back to you. "Don't listen to him."

"So, all that unwritten rules stuff I can just forget?" you asked.

"No, that was all legit. Just the backpack tug thing was a lie. Now let's go before--"

"Will, Jay, Y/N!" The three of you groaned when you heard your mom's voice calling you and then stepping into the living room. "Take off your backpacks and go on the front porch."

The three of you groaned again.

"Mom," Jay whined. "Do you we have to take a first day of school picture every single year?"

"Yes. And it's your brother's first day of senior year and your sister's first day of high school in general. So, get out on the porch and quit complaining. The faster I take this picture, the faster the three of you can leave."

You all grumbled and then went out on the porch to take a picture. Even though it was early September in Chicago, it was sweltering hot out. You thanked your lucky stars that Will's car had working AC because you knew that some of your friend's older siblings didn't have working AC in their cars and they always complained about how hot it was on the ride to and from school. But, it was better than taking the bus.

Once you had finished taking the pictures (and Jay pulled your hair in one of them so Will told Jay he has to sit in the backseat on the way to school and you got the passenger seat), you got in Will's car.

***

"So, meet you right here after school?" you asked Will when you entered the high school through the double doors of the main entrance.

"Yup. Jay, you got a ride home from soccer practice?" Will asked.

"Yeah. Adam's dropping me off at home. But I swear to God if I have to sit in the backseat one more time--"

"Give it a rest. I could've stepped on your foot, but I figured you'd need it for soccer. So, I let you off easy."

"Whatever," Jay mumbled.

You started to walk towards the freshman hallway and wondered why Jay and Will were still walking with you when you passed the junior and senior lockers. But, then you saw a huge group of varsity football players in the long hallway between the sophomore and freshman hallways, pointing at girls they thought got prettier or skinnier over the summer or new freshman girls for them to hit on or have a one night fling with.

"I'm gonna need to tell Kelly to keep his boys in line," Jay said to Will.

"No shit," Will replied.

"Don't you creeps have anything better to do?" Jay yelled at them. "And, I see at least three of you who are eighteen, so I'd recommend you stop ogling at minors and get back to watching tapes or something so we can actually make it to the playoffs this year."

"And what are you--" a football player who was obviously new on varsity stepped forward and started to say, but another one pulled him back.

"Dude, he's stronger than he looks and they're both best friends with Severide. So, shut the fuck up," he told the new varsity player.

"Yeah, listen to your friend," Will said. "C'mon, Y/N, just keep walking."

You did as he told you and shook off the weird encounter.

"They stop after homecoming," Will told you as he took a piece of paper from you and looked at what locker number you had.

"What do you mean after homecoming?" you asked.

Jay and Will shared a look. They had never told you about the game the football players had from late September/early October until homecoming which was usually mid-October/late October.

"We'll explain later," Will said. You walked a few more steps until you found your locker.

Next to you, there was a girl with blond hair who was wearing a flannel and jeans and brown combat boots who was helping a freshman with their locker as well.

"Alright," Will said. "So, this is your combination. Don't feel bad if you forget it after Christmas or spring break. Everyone goes to the office to ask for their combo when they get back, so don't feel embarrassed about it."

Will showed you how to unlock your locker, but it didn't budge. He tried it again. Nothing. Then, he let Jay have a go at it. Again, nothing.

"Need help?" the blond next to you asked. She was now done helping the other freshman with their locker.

Jay opened his mouth to tell her no, but you said yes faster than he could answer.

Will handed her the paper with the combination and she tried it. Nothing.

She looked down at another paper she was holding. "Ah, I know why this one isn't working. It's on the flagged list."

"The flagged list?" you asked.

"Yeah. They didn't have time to fix  some of the lockers during the summer, but they'll be getting to them this weekend, so you should only have to deal with it being crappy like this the first week," she answered.

She tried your combination again, pushed up on the lock, and then kicked the bottom of the locker.

It opened.

"Upton!" A teacher yelled. "No kicking lockers!"

"This one was flagged!" she yelled back. "Only way to get it to open!"

"Fine. I guess it's okay for this week." The teacher narrowed his eyes. "Halstead."

"Mr. Williams," Jay said and then turned back and rolled his eyes.

"What's up with him?" you asked Will.

"Yeah, Jay may or not have fired spitballs at Mr. Williams freshman year," Will answered.

"That was you?" the girl asked. "I remembered hearing that a soccer player did it, but I never got the name. Guess now I know it was you, Jay."

"Yes, it was me, Hailey." So, this girl's name was Hailey.

"Wait, you two know each other?" you asked.

"We had what, an English class together last year?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, first semester because then I got put in the honors class," Hailey said.

"That class always seemed so much more for than the normal class," Jay mused.

"Too bad you can't write papers for shit," Will told his little brother.

"Shut up," Jay groaned.

Will looked up at one of the digital clocks in the hallway. "We should get going," he said. "We've only got fifteen minutes until we have to be in homeroom."

"Good luck, fresh meat," Jay joked and you rolled your eyes as your two older brothers walked off to their wing of the school that housed their lockers.

"Want some help putting your things in here?" Hailey asked. "I have a pass to get to class half an hour late since I'm on student council and helping you guys out."

"Uh, sure, since you're here. Mind if I close my locker and then try opening it myself?" you asked.

"Go for it."

You closed your locker and then did the exact same thing she did to get your locker open, including the kick. It opened on your first try.

"Perfect!" Hailey said. You unzipped your backpack and you and Hailey stooped down to grab folders, binders, and notebooks out of it. "I'm sorry, I never actually introduced myself. I'm Hailey Upton."

"Y/N Halstead," you replied. "Those two doofuses who just left are my brothers, Jay and Will, seems like you already knew Jay, though."

"I mean, I don't really know him. I guess I know of him if that makes sense."

"Makes total sense."

The two of you continued to put stuff in your locker until everything was in there, just in time for the five-minute bell to ring.

You looked at your schedule. "You don't happen to know where Mr. V's room is, do you? My brothers told me it's not in the freshman or sophomore halls."

"Oh, yeah. You just go down the connecting hallway and past the junior and senior lockers and then you'll see-- you know what, I'll walk you there. It's kind of hard to find."

"Thank you."

"No problem. We've all been freshmen before."

***

Hailey entered her AP biology class just as the late bell rang. She took the first empty seat she saw...which ended up being next to none other than Will Halstead.

"Hey," Hailey said. "This seat wasn't saved, was it?"

"No," Will replied. "It's yours now." He looked at Hailey. "You were the one who helped my sister with her locker this morning, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm Hailey."

"Will," he told her.

"So," their teacher, Mr. Davis began, "since this is an AP class, there will be a lot more homework than a typical biology class. I also know some of you are juniors, so I hope that you take AP anatomy and physiology next year with me if you do well in this class. As for you seniors who are taking this AP class and AP A and P--which stands for anatomy and physiology by the way--I know that the first three chapters of this class overlap a lot, so I'm sorry if you get bored.

"But, the person you have chosen to sit next to, will be your partner for any projects we have this semester. And, they aren't typical projects like presentations and the like. They're mostly practice AP tests that I want you to take with another person so that you can talk over the answers and make sure you don't make the same mistake twice. Obviously, around February, I'll ask you to take the practice tests by yourself so that you can practice for the real tests.

"Every chapter there will be presentations. I will give each pair a sub-topic of the chapter and I want you to do a five to ten minute presentation on it for the class. I also want you to put together a Kahoot for your subsection after the presentation because I found that that makes students pay way more attention than when there isn't one because everyone wants to win."

Hailey raised her hand. "Yes, remind me of your name," he said when he pointed to Hailey.

"Hailey," she told him.

"Hailey," he repeated and scribbled her name on the piece of paper with the seating chart on his desk. "Oh, and after I go over all this, I would like all of you to come and write your name on the seating chart. Hailey of course won't have to write her name because she doesn't need to be on there twice. Anyway, what was your question?"

"I was just wondering how many practice tests we'll have to take and how often you were should meet up with our partner outside of school?" Hailey asked.

"Both great questions. For the practice tests, we'll start taking them in November because that gives us time to go over the format and content. Don't worry, I won't put any new content on the practice tests. I'm not that mean. You'll take one in November, one in December, and one in January. These will all be done with your seat partner. Then, from February on, you'll have one every month, but these will be taken by yourselves so that you get used to it before the actual test.

"As for meeting up with your partner, I'd recommend every two weeks. That way you won't fall behind on the presentations."

Hailey nodded and scribbled this information down in her notebook. But, she was also nervous. She couldn't let Will come to her house. She just had to hope that Will would have all the meetings at his house.

***

"How was your first day?" Will asked when you met him at the main doors after school.

"It was good. Not as scary as you guys made it seem. Still need to make sure I get to my classes on time, though," you replied as the two of you walked out of the building and through the parking lot towards his car.

"They'll give you a grace period to get to class on time," Will told you. "It's usually a week, week and a half until they start handing out tardies."

You were about to ask how his day was, when someone yelling stopped you.

"Nice ass, Halstead!"

Your jaw dropped and your eyes bugged out of your head as you and Will both turned around. Of course, it was a varsity football player who yelled that, of course, it was.

Will put his hand in front of you. "Y/N, I'm gonna give you my keys and you're going to unlock my car and get inside."

"Will, he's not worth it," you argued.

"Y/N, take my damn keys. I don't want you anywhere near this."

You relented and took his keys and then went and got in the passenger seat of his car. But, you watched as everything unfolded.

Will stalked up to the football player, who he knew was Derek Evans, the school fuck boy who every girl liked because he was a shoo-in to get drafted by the NFL right after high school and had really good looks even though he was a total sexist asshole.

"What the fuck did you just say to my sister?" Will roared.

"Said she had a nice ass," he replied while shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"You son of a--" Will lunged at him but Kevin and Kelly ran in to hold him back. Turns out they were walking out of school and saw the entire exchange.

"Will! calm the fuck down!" Kelly shouted as he pushed Will back.

"Did you not hear what he said?" Will yelled as he kept reaching out to Derek.

Kevin was pushing Derek back, too.

"We did. But you can't be fighting on the first day. If you're gonna do it, do it somewhere else not on school grounds."

"Both you, take a damn breath and walk away," Kevin told them.

Kelly pushed Will back and then grabbed his arm and walked him towards his car while Kevin walked Derek towards the football field.

"You better fucking do something about that, Severide," Will told him.

"Believe me, I'll make sure he runs lap for the entirety of practice."

"I meant punch his face in."

"Can't do that, man. I got scholarships on the line."

"At least let me bring my baseball bat to school and bash his face in. If my batting average is any indication, I could knock him out and kill him in one swing."

"That would be murder and then you'd be in prison instead of going to med school." Kelly paused and took a deep breath. "I guess now's not a great time to tell you, but freshmen are up for grabs in the game this year. The players all said they weren't going to do it because the coaches banned it, but they're going to try and be sneaky. Only writing the points down on paper and burning it, no texting about it or putting it on social media, you can only talk about it on the phone or in person, and it can't be talked about at school."

"Fuck. So the girls won't really know what's going on until it starts."

"Exactly. Just, let Y/N know, okay? And have her pass it on to some of the other freshmen...because we both know if they go to Principal White he won't do shit."

"Yeah, he's as much of a son of a bitch as Evans. But, I'll tell her. Thanks, Kelly."

***

"Jay!" Will yelled when Jay walked inside all sweaty after his soccer practice.

"What? Dude, I need a shower," he said as he threw his soccer bag and his backpack down by the door.

"Better pick that up before Mom gets home. She'll be pissed if she comes home at 3 am and trips over it."

Your mom was a nurse and worked from 2:30 pm-2:30 am, which meant she only saw you in the morning for four days a week...even though she's only supposed to work three days a week, so 36 hours, but she always picked up an extra day so that she could put some money in all of your guys' college funds. Sometimes, she'd even work five days a week and she'd be exhausted once her week was over. But, she was the hardest worker you knew and inspired you to work as hard as you possibly could at everything you did; you never did anything half-assed because you never saw your mom do that. She always gave it her all.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But I want to shower," Jay said.

"Wait five minutes. This is important," Will told him.

Jay sat down on the couch next to him. "Fine. What is it?"

So, Will explained what happened when he and you walked out of school today and how Kelly had to hold him back so that he wouldn't beat Derek Evans to a pulp. He also told him that the game was still on...and this time freshmen are fair game.

"Fucking hell," Jay muttered.

"Yeah," Will agreed.

"Should we tell her?"

"Probably. The sooner the better, too."

"Okay. Let me jump in the shower and then we can tell her and tell her how to protect herself."

Ten minutes later, Jay was out of the shower and he knocked on your bedroom door, Will right behind him. When he didn't get an answer after a few rounds of knocking, he opened your door.

"She's sleeping. Guess we'll have to tell her when she wakes up," Jay said.

"As long as we tell her tonight," Will said. "The more time she has to prepare for what's to come, the better."

***

"Jesus. Fuck," you muttered as you rolled over and looked at the time on your phone. After stretching and jumping out of bed, you walked from your bedroom into the kitchen, to see your brothers both eating pasta. "Neither of you two bothered to wake me up? It's 6:30."

"Figured you needed the sleep," Will shrugged. "Dinner's in the fridge. Mom made lasagna."

You grabbed yourself a plate and then put some lasagna on it and put it in the microwave. Then you sat down across from Jay and Will who were both sitting on the same side of the kitchen table.

"How was your first day?" Jay asked.

"Good...other than Wiliams making me sit in the front right in front of his desk. I don't mind the front because then I can see the board easier, but his desk, really? This one's all your fault." You pointed your fork at Jay.

Jay held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, really wasn't thinking about you when I fired those spitballs."

"What were you thinking about?" Will asked.

"That I needed to aim for his head."

"My god, you're a child," you laughed. "And, Will about ripped a football player's head off today. I think his name was Derek? He would've, too if Kelly didn't hold him back."

"But he said you had a nice ass," Will quoted. "Pretty sure that warrants me ripping his head off."

"Will's right," Jay agreed. "I would've pushed past Kelly and beat Evans to a pulp."

"Good to know you guys have my back. But, I'm in high school now. You can't keep fighting my battles for me."

"Too bad," Will said. "You're stuck with us."

"Ugh," you groaned and took a bite of your lasagna. "How was your day, Will?" you asked once you had finished the bite. "Any talk of what the senior prank will be?"

"We didn't actually talk about that. But, the girl who helped you with your locker, Hailey, she's my partner in my AP bio class," Will answered. Jay coughed. "You alright there, Jay?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine."

"Anyway," Will began, "she'll be coming round here a bit because we have to do these presentations. She said her brothers are usually home, so she'll probably come here most of the time. Oh, Y/N, she also told me to tell you that if there's ever a day where you can't find anyone to sit with at lunch, that you can always sit with her."

"Really? That's so nice of her. I wish I had classes with her," you said.

"Okay, since it's obvious neither of you is going to ask about my day because I'm the forgotten middle child," Jay started, causing both you and Will to roll your eyes, "I'm just gonna tell you. Nothing important happened. They just drilled that we have to take the SAT into our heads. Oh, and we have read like this 16th century crap in English 11, so that sucks."

"English 11 is the worst," Will agreed. "Good luck."

The three of you continued to eat and the Will started talking again when he and Jay were finished and you were almost done.

"So, Y/N, there's this sick and twisted tradition at school," Will began with a worried look on his face. "And it ends after homecoming."

"So that's what you were implying earlier," you said.

"Yeah, so what happens is that the football players kinda sorta get dares to do, but they aren't specifically dares. It's like there's a list of things they do with a girl and there's points attached to them. Like, apparently if a guy grabs a girl's ass in the hallway or anywhere else on the school's campus or at a school event, it's 50 points. But, since that's pretty tame, that's the only one that actually has to be done on campus. The rest of them can be off or on-campus...but they'd probably be off-campus," Will explained.

"I'm confused. So they get points for assaulting us?" you asked.

"Technically, it's just harassment...but some of the other ones could be classified as assault. But, those ones are supposed to be consensual, so the only risk you really run is having your butt grabbed in the hallway. Jay, you wanna take it from here?"

"Uh, yeah," Jay answered. "Usually freshmen are off-limits, but this year they changed the rules, so they're allowed. But, Kelly, Kevin, and Adam opted out because they're decent human beings, so if you see them in the hallway, you're safe; you don't have to be scared of them."

"But the rest...?" you trailed off.

"The rest of the varsity football team you need to be aware of."

"So, when does this game start and what do I do?"

"It starts in two weeks and goes on for a month, so until homecoming. As for what to do, well most girls just wear long shirts to cover their butts and not wear super tight pants," Jay told you.

"And if me or Jay have a class close to one of yours, we can walk you to your locker or to your next class. That should help a bit," Will offered.

"Thanks. That might help. But, why hasn't Mr. White stopped it?" you asked.

"Because he's as much of a sexist asshole as the football players. But, it's only a month. You can get through it," Will promised.

"God I hope so."

***

It had been two weeks since you started high school and in two days that stupid game of grab ass would begin. Hailey and Will were currently working on their presentation in the kitchen and Jay was playing at an away soccer game...which is where your mom was, too. You were sitting in your room working on your planner for next week.

You looked at your planner and saw Monday was circled and said The Game in black ink. God, why did guys have to be such sexist pigs? Just because they were the football players didn't mean they got on pass on all the school rules and hell, even all the general rules of society.

You shook your head and turned up your music and started writing in your classes for that week in your planner.

A few songs later, you thought you heard a knock on your door, so you took out one of your headphones. "Yeah?" you asked.

"Y/N, it's Hailey. Can I come in?" she asked from the other side of your door.

"Yeah," you told her as you took out the other headphone and paused your music. "What's up?" you asked when she entered.

"Will told me you're really nervous for the game starting this week?" she motioned to the spot next to you on your bed. "Can I sit?" You nodded and she sat down. "Honestly, you just have to be on high alert for a whole month. Try to walk by other people whenever you can and, I think Will said they already told you this, but don't wear tight-fitting clothing."

"They did. I just don't know what to wear."

"Well, I can help you with that. Let's go through your clothes and we'll take out what you can't wear during this and put it in another drawer, okay?"

"That sounds good." You closed your planner and you and Hailey began going through your dresser and closet.

"Another tip," she started, "if you have the chance to knee one of them in the balls, then do it. Why do you think they stopped coming after me halfway through the game last year?"

"You kneed a football player in the balls?" you asked as your eyes went wide.

"Mhm. Did it to the captain of the football team last year. He was a senior, so he's not here anymore, but now all the football boys know not to mess with me."

"I will most definitely keep that one in mind."

***

Jay met up with you that Thursday after one of his classes because it was in the same hall as yours. "Day going good?" he asked as his eyes darted side to side, clearly in overprotective big brother mode.

"Yeah, and no one's tried anything yet, so I guess that's a good thing," you told him.

You were focused on dodging people in the hallway so you had time to stop by your locker and change out your books, go to the bathroom, and then get to your next class all within the span of five minutes (your school really needed to make passing time at least seven to eight minutes instead of five), so you didn't hear the booming laughter of a few varsity football players behind you...but Jay did.

"Back the fuck off," Jay growled as none other than Derek Evans reached out to grab your ass. But, Jay stopped him by turning around and walking backward to shield your backside and then grabbing Derek's outstretched hand.

"Aww, look guys, the little freshman needs her big brother to protect her," Derek mocked.

"From you, yeah she does. You're a sick fuck, Evans...and that goes for your posse, too."

"Let go of my hand, Halstead."

Jay narrowed his eyes, but he let go. "Next time you try to grab my sister, that arm will be twisted so far back behind you that you can kiss your senior season goodbye."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and then turned around to go back the other way, towards his actual class.

"Thanks," you said as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Don't mention it."

***

Jay made his way out of a classroom later that day and saw Hailey, so he made his way over to her.

"I don't need protecting, Jay," she told him.

"I know," Jay replied. "Everyone knows about you kneeing the captain last year. Great job on that by the way. I know I'm a year late, but that was a good move on your part."

"Thanks. It was just a reflex, honestly."

"And thanks for helping Y/N with the clothes thing. She was really nervous."

Hailey waved a hand flippantly. "That was nothing, just a girl helping another girl out."

"As the world should be," Jay agreed. Hey, his mother taught him to look at women as equals and he was going to treat Hailey as such...now that he knew she could protect herself from all these assholes. Because if she hadn't kneed that captain where the sun don't shine last year, you best believe he'd be on high alert for the varsity football players just like he was with you a few classes ago. "So, our practice got canceled because of the rain and the football game got canceled, too. So, me, Adam, and Kelly were gonna go out for tacos at that place across the street, but Adam's bringing his girlfriend, Kim, and Kelly's bringing his girlfriend, Stella, and I don't want to third-wheel, so do you maybe want to go with me? That is if you don't have to be home right after school."

Her dad didn't get home until 5:30. "Sure," she told him. "I just have to be home by 4:30. But, I normally take the bus, so unless one of you can bring me home, I can't come." She figured getting home an hour early would work well so that she wasn't rushing.

"Adam's bringing me home, so I'm sure he can stop by your house, too. Where do you live?" Jay asked. She told him her address. "That's only a block away from me. I'm sure he can bring you home. I'll text him and then text you." He held out his phone. "Put your number in."

So, Hailey put her number in his phone. Then, she handed it back to him and they hurried to get to their respective classes before the late bell rang.

But, she was wondering why she was blushing so much as she turned away and why all these butterflies had erupted in her stomach when their fingers brushed against each other's when she handed his phone back to him. She wasn't falling for Jay Halstead. There was no way, right?

***

"So, party this weekend. Everyone in?" Adam asked as the six of them ate tacos.

"Whose house?" Kelly asked.

Adam said a name of a football player and told them it was Saturday night,  and they all agreed to go...except for Hailey, who spouted off some excuse about how she had to be up early on Sunday, so she couldn't go. Jay was disappointed that he wouldn't have an excuse to dance with her, but he figured there'd be other parties.

"Mom's working that night," Jay said. "So, as long as I'm home by like 2:45, I should be good. Will will probably be down, too. Then Natalie will probably come."

"Great. I'll text him so he knows how much beer to have his older brother buy...but I'm sure they'll buy extra because more people usually show up anyway."

They talked and ate for another hour before they had to leave so Hailey could get home on time.

Jay and Hailey sat in the backseat of Adam's car while Adam and Kim sat in the front.

When they pulled up to Hailey's house, Jay offered to walk her to the door, but she told him no, that he didn't have to. He insisted, but she still said no, so he let it go and she got out of the car and went inside her house.

"Dude, you so like her," Adam said as they drove another block to his house.

"I do not. I don't know what you're talking about. She's just a friend," he argued.

Adam snorted. "Yeah right. And I'm the fucking king of England."

"You should ask her to homecoming," Kim suggested.

"Kim! Not you, too!"

"It's obvious. You should ask her. She might just surprise you."

***

You woke up Saturday night to your phone ringing and breaking you out of a peaceful sleep. You rubbed your eyes and looked at the time and the caller. Why the hell was Jay calling you when it was past one in the morning?

"Hello?" you asked sleepily.

"Y/N, me and Will need your help," Jay said.

You immediately sat up. "What do you mean? I thought you were home. Where the hell are you?"

"We went to a party and we couldn't risk you telling Mom, so we snuck out around 11 when we knew you were sleeping. But, Kelly's the DD and he had two drinks, so he can't drive us home. He's not drunk off his ass, but if we get pulled over and they pull out a breathalyzer, we're all shit outta luck."

"Why can't you do it?" you asked. "You sound pretty sober to me."

"I'm two and a half beers deep and it'll probably be four by the time you get here."

"Fucking  hell, Jay. And me? You seem to forget that I don't have my license yet, just my permit. I can't come get you. You're just gonna have to wait until Mom gets home and call her."

"No! No way is Mom finding out!"

"What's in it for me? I'm not breaking the law and coming to get your dumbasses for free. And I need something from both you and Will."

"Fine," Jay huffed. "Name your price."

"You do my laundry for a month and Will does my algebra homework for a month."

"Two weeks. We'll do those for two weeks," Jay said.

"No. Three weeks or I'm not coming and you get to suffer the wrath of Mom."

"Fine," he relented. "I'll text you the address."

***

You drove Will's car like an old grandma on the way to the house party, sometimes going ten miles under the speed limit. There was no way you were getting busted for your brothers.

You turned off your car and parked in the closest spot you could find to the house where the party was at. Then, you pulled out your phone and texted both Jay and Will that you were there.

Five minutes passed...then ten and still no answer from either of them.

"Fucking hell," you muttered as you unbuckled and then grabbed the keys and got out of Will's car and locked it, safely zipping the keys in one of your sweatshirt pockets. "I swear to God if both of them are three sheets to the wind and I have to drag their asses out of there, I will not be fucking happy."

You started to walk towards the party, looking at your phone every couple of seconds to see if either of your brothers had texted you back.

You gasped when you felt someone grab your ass.

"Fifty points," he whispered in your ear and then grabbed your wrist.

Derek Evans.

"Let me go!" you told him as you tried to pull away from him.

"No can do, freshman. It's 500 points for fucking a freshman and there's no way I'm passing up that opportunity."

"Let me go!" you screamed. You even dropped your phone to the ground to try to use your other hand to pry his hand off your wrist. But, he just laughed and kept holding you. Then, he stomped on your phone, breaking it into pieces.

You kept screaming, but the music was so loud that no one could hear you. And, you tried to dig your heels into the ground to stop him, but it was no use; he was too strong.

Eventually, he got tired of dragging you and just picked you up. You punched and kicked him, but it didn't seem to work. It was like this senior was immune to pain.

He got to a shed near the side of the house and quite literally threw you against it. You groaned and took a few deep breaths. In that time, Derek had ripped his shirt off and grabbed your wrists with one hand. You dug your nails into his hands. You weren't going down without a fight.

"That's cute," he laughed. "You think some nails are going to stop me."

He dragged you over a few inches and then used some of his shirt to secure your wrists to the fence that separated this house from the one next to it.

"Help! Help!" you yelled. "Somebody help me!"

Your head flew to the right as he slapped you across the face. "Shut the fuck up!"

You whimpered and then started kicking your feet. But, he just walked away and watched you struggle as he removed his pants. Then, he sat on your legs. You couldn't kick anymore, so you started screaming even louder. He slapped you a few more times across the face until you finally  shut up because, fuck, that hurt. That just left you whimpering at his mercy as he fumbled with the string on your pajama pants. (You hadn't bothered changing your pants when you came to get your brothers, only threw on a bra on under your t-shirt.) You didn't know what to do. No one was going to save you and you were completely and utterly helpless.

***

Kelly Severide knew you were coming to pick them up as Jay had told him that when he was on his way to grab his fourth beer. He hadn't heard anything from Jay or Will yet but figured they were both shit-faced. So, he tried to text you. No reply. He tried to call. No answer.

So, Kelly walked out onto the back porch and started around the side of the house to see if you had parked. But then, he heard whimpering and what sounded like a slap and then a yelp. He started running.

When he saw what was happening, he saw red.

You were lying on the grass whimpering while Derek was just in his boxers. You wanted him to stop smacking your thighs and face because god, you were fucking hurting and you were also fucking terrified about what was going to happen next.

"Please," you whimpered. "Please, st--"

"You son of a bitch!"

Before you could even register who yelled that, Derek was thrown off of you and to the ground.

You caught your breath and just laid there panting and crying while Kelly did a number on Derek's face. He sent more punches to his stomach until he finally doubled over and groaned in pain. Then, he kicked him in the back and he fell to the ground. Kelly placed his foot on Derek's back. "Stay the fuck down you fucking bastard."

He pulled out his phone and called 911. "Hello, I'd like to report a sexual assault."

***

Will felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. "Kelly, where the hell are you, man?" he asked as he dirty danced with Natalie on the dance floor.

"Will, you need to come out by the shed now," he said, still with his foot on Derek's back, keeping him down. Kelly felt terrible that he couldn't untie you, but he couldn't risk Derek getting up and trying to finish what he started.

"Why? You snorting coke out there? Because count me out. I don't do that."

"No. It's Y/N. She was- she-- It's that stupid fucking game some of the bastards I call teammates are playing. An ambulance and the cops are on their way."

Will's mouth went dry. It went dry when he heard the game part, but now it was as if it was sandpaper.

"Jay's by me. We'll be there in a second."

Will pocketed his phone and let go of Natalie. "Baby, what's wrong?" she asked.

"It's Y/N. I think one of those football players got to her."

"Fuck a freshman." Adam's eyes went wide as he let go of Kim.

"What? What about fucking?" Jay asked as he went to take another sip of his beer, but Will swatted it out of his hand.

"We need to go. Now." He grabbed Jay's arm. "Adam, explain."

The three of them started running, Jay barely being able to run in a straight line and Natalie and Kim hot on their heels, and Adam explained how he heard about one part of the game that was called fuck a freshman. But, he thought it was a joke because he didn't know for sure because he didn't sign up for the game.

"Well, obviously it's not a joke!"

Will saw Kelly with his foot on Derek's back before he saw you.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" he yelled.

"Will!" you cried.

"Y/N, hold on. We're here, we're here." He knelt down next to you and untied the t-shirt that kept your wrists tied to the fence.

It took Jay a minute, but then he realized what happened...it also took Kim shaking him and telling him she was going to slap him across the face and then actually doing it. Now that sobered him up.

You could hear sirens in the distance.

"Me and Natalie will go get them," Will said. "You three good here?"

"We're good. Now go get help," Kelly said.

***

The ride to the hospital was a blur. You were still freaking out, so the paramedics had to give you a light sedative to calm down. You remembered your brothers being in the back of the ambulance with you and you remembered Jay puking in a bucket from all the beer he drank.

You vaguely remembered the doctors asking you questions and taking pictures of your bruises. You also remembered them telling the three police officers that they couldn't question you yet. And then, you fell asleep.

***

You slowly opened your eyes and squinted against the bright hospital lights.

Damn, it must've taken me a helluva long time to get the boys out of that party if I'm waking up when the sun is this bright, you thought to yourself.

But, then you looked at your surroundings and it all came flooding back to you.

"Mama, Mama," you cried.

"I'm here, honey, I'm here," she said as she gently grabbed your hand.

You tried to sit up, but your thighs and stomach hurt so bad from Derek hitting you that you couldn't.

"I want a hug but I can't sit up," you cried as tears started to stream down your face.

She stood up and bent over the bed and wrapped her arms around you. It was an uncomfortable position for her because she was bending over to hug you, but she didn't care. You were her little girl and she'd do anything to make you feel safe and loved.

Will and Jay sat in the chairs on the other side of your bed. You hadn't even realized they were there. Will had tears in his eyes and Jay had a hand over his mouth trying to stop a sob from coming out. God, if he wouldn't have called you to pick them up, then this wouldn't have happened. It was all his fault this happened to you.

A knock on the door sounded and your mom let go of you and the two of you looked towards the door.

It was Hailey.

Jay looked to you to see if it was okay that she came in and you nodded.

"Hey," she said as she entered. "I brought donuts. Figured you might be hungry."

You were glad she didn't ask if you were okay because it was apparent that you most definitely were not okay.

You nodded and she walked over to you and opened the box. "You get first pick."

You picked a raspberry-filled one and then proceeded to take tiny bites of your donut. It hurt too much to open your mouth a lot because your cheeks and chin were heavily bruised.

You almost finished your donut, when there was another knock on the door. This time it was three police officers. Then, they opened the door.

"Y/N, I'm Trudy Platt and this is Detective Alvin Olinsky and Detective Hank Voight. We're here to take a few statements about what happened," the officer told you.

"Am I in trouble?" you asked. You did drive without a license.

"No, not at all. We just need to know what happened. We can give you a minute to finish eating if you would like?"

"Can I do it now?"

"Of course." She turned to your mom. "Mom, you want to stay in the room?"

"If I can--"

"I don't want you to know the details, Mom. Please," you pleaded as more tears fell.

"Are you sure? I'll love you no matter what, honey. Good or bad, you're still my little girl."

"I know. But I just- I want to be alone."

"Okay, me and the boys and Hailey will be right outside."

The four of them left and the two detectives left as well, leaving only you and this officer known as Trudy Platt.

"Am I in trouble?" you asked when the door shut.

"Oh, honey, no," Trudy said as she sat down in the seat your mom was previously sitting in.

"But, I drove without my license be- because they asked me to pick them up and then- and then--"

"Y/N, you are not in any trouble. Kelly Severide told us most of the story about what happened, but we need to hear it in your own words. And you can take as long as you want. Take as much time as you need."

So you told her what happened.

"It's all my fault. If I would've never agreed to go pick up Will and Jay--"

"This is not your fault. None of this is your fault," she told you.

"But why does it feel like it is? If I could've just fought him off, maybe this wouldn't have happened." You wiped your eyes with the heels of your hands and let out a strangled sob which was more like a yell. "Why do boys get away with everything?"

She pulled the chair closer to your bed. "Y/N, you have my word that he won't be getting away with what he did to you. I promise you he won't get away with it."

"But how do you know that? You can't possibly know that!"

"Because I have two of the best detectives working with me and I just know that he won't get away with what he did to you."

After a few more minutes and explaining that you really didn't want to go through a trial, Trudy left the room. She also handed you her card in case you changed your mind about the trial.

Then, Trudy Platt went to the bathroom where she saw the other girl who was in the room with you while she was washing her hands. As the girl was scrubbing her hands, Trudy noticed a bruise on her arm, a little above her wrist. It was low enough that it could be hidden by long sleeves, but that it could also ride up when the girl was washing her hands.

"You're one of Y/N's friends?" Trudy asked.

"Yeah. Me and her brother got paired up for a project and I was supposed to meet him this morning, but he texted saying family emergency. So, I thought I'd bring them breakfast," Hailey answered.

"That's very kind of you. Were you at the party last night?"

"No, I was at home."

"Is that where you hurt your arm?"

Hailey quickly pulled on her sweatshirt sleeve "No, I uh, I hit it on my locker a few days ago."

Trudy knew this girl was lying. She had worked enough domestic and child abuse cases to know the usual excuses. So, she pulled out her business card and handed it to Hailey. "This is my business card. My cell phone number is on there as well. Call me if you need help getting out."

***

Trudy, Hank, and Al entered the district and then went into the basement where there were no cameras.

"I think we can all agree on not putting that the girl was driving without a license in the reports," Trudy started.

"Agreed," Al said. "What about the boys?"

"We leave out that they were drinking, too," Hank said. "The only people who know that they were drinking are us three and them since they obviously can't take a breathalyzer now, there's no use in putting it in the reports. They were just kids being kids."

"Yeah, except for the asshole who assaulted her," Al stated.

"Yeah, except for him. We're throwing the book at that bastard," Hank agreed.

"She said she didn't want to go through a trial," Trudy said.

"What? Why not?" Hank asked.

"She said that she didn't think that anyone would believe her. He's a senior who everyone likes, hell, this whole town knows he's going to be drafted. So, she thinks he wouldn't get in trouble if he does actually go to trial."

Hank sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Well, we have 48 hours to hold him, and then me and Al will figure out how to take care of this."

***

"Are you hungry?" your mom asked when you got home later that day. The hospital had discharged you since all your injuries were superficial, such as the bruises on your face, wrist stomach, and thighs.

"No," you muttered. "I'm gonna go to my room."

"Okay, well if you want to be alone, that's fine, but I took FMLA leave, so I'll be home for a while. Take all the time you need, honey."

You nodded and then walked into your room and cuddled under your blankets. Since it was the afternoon, there was still a bit of sunlight coming in from beneath your blinds, which you were thankful for. You turned on your fan and allowed it to blow lightly on you. You were glad that you always used your fan for white noise so that you could sleep, but it also helped to muffle your quiet sobs as you cried into your pillow.

Meanwhile, Hailey, Will, Jay, and your mom were in the kitchen. Hailey had come home with you and your family so that she and Will could work on their presentation. She said it was fine, that she could go home, but Will said working on the presentation would be a welcome distraction.

"What's FMLA leave?" Jay asked.

"It's the Family Medical Leave Act," she answered as she sat down at the kitchen table. "It means I can have up to twelve weeks unpaid leave at work and still be guaranteed a job when I get back. But, I'll probably just take half of that, because uh, I won't be making any money during that time."

"I can see if I can get my summer job back," Will immediately offered. "I know I said I can only work during the summer, but I can work on the weekends even if it's only ten hours a week and I've only been off for a month, so they should probably be able to rehire me--"

"Honey," your mom said, cutting him off. "I really appreciate you thinking of that. But it's your senior year and you're taking four AP classes. School comes first. We'll get through it. This is only temporary and I do have a savings account in case of emergencies and we should be fine."

"Okay, well, you can always tell me to talk to my boss if I need to," Will said. Then, he turned to Hailey. "I'll go grab my stuff and then we can work on the project."

Will walked away to his room, leaving Jay, your mom, and Hailey. "Can I get you anything, Hailey?" your mom asked. "Water, coffee?"

"Oh, no. I'm fine," Hailey said. This wasn't about her. She knew that you needed your mom and that your mom needed time to feel what happened as well. "Thank you, though."

"I'm gonna go check on Y/N and then go for a drive. If anything happens with her, Jay, I need either you or Will to call me right away."

"We will, Mom, don't worry."

Your mom pulled Jay into a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom." Normally, Jay wouldn't have hugged his mom when his friends were around--or whatever he considered Hailey--, but he knew his mom needed it, so he returned her hug.

"Be back soon."

Then, she checked on you and seeing that you were asleep, grabbed her keys, and left.

"I'm gonna put on a pot of coffee," Jay said. "I know you said you were good, but you can have some if you want." He made his way to the cupboard and grabbed the container of ground-up coffee beans and started putting them into a filer.

"Thanks. Might take you up on that when me and Will are working. A little liquid focus never hurt anyone," she replied.

"No doubt."

Hailey paused, she wanted to keep talking with Jay but didn't know what to say. She didn't want to mention last night either. "So, are you taking any AP classes?" she asked. "You know, since Will's apparently taking four."

"Will's a psychopath and no, I'm not. Too much work if you ask me. If I was planning on going to college, I might take a few, but I'm not."

"Oh. Then what are you planning to do?"

"Maybe the army. My mom doesn't like the thought of me fighting in wars, but she supports my decision. I just don't feel like studying is for me."

"What branch?" Hailey asked.

He raised his eyebrows at how interested she was. "I was thinking the Army Rangers. They're the first ones on the ground in war zones."

"Sounds dangerous. You're practically flying blind."

"Oh, but that's what makes it fun."

Hailey laughed. "You're an adrenaline junkie, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah. I love rollercoasters...and anything else that gets my heart racing."

"Hear about that new coaster at Cedar Point?"

"Yeah!" Jay exclaimed. And, before he even had time to process what he was about to say, he blurted it out anyway. "Maybe we could go together sometime."

Did he just ask me out? Hailey thought to herself. "I'd like that." She smiled.

"Am I invited?" Will asked as he walked down the hallway, overhearing their conversation.

"Uh," Jay blanched.

"Dude, chill. I know you were trying to ask her out--"

Jay's phone rang before he could yell at Will to knock it off and Hailey just took a seat at the table blushing really badly while she did so.

"It's Kev," Jay said while glaring at his older brother. "I gotta take this." He accepted the call and started to walk down the hall to the bedroom that he shared with Will. "Hey, man."

Jay closed his bedroom door and sat on his bed. "Adam just told me that Evans tried to rape your sister?"

Jay ran a hand down his face. "Uh, yeah, if Kelly wouldn't have gotten there when he did, who knows what would've happened."

"Is she okay? Is he in jail? Is she in the hospital?"

Jay knew that Kevin would react protectively since he had a younger sister, Vanessa, who was in seventh grade, just two years younger than you.

"I mean, physically her injuries are just bruising." He took a deep, shaky breath to stop himself from crying. "I think they're holding Evans and we just got home from the hospital. Y/N's sleeping now."

"Evans is so fucking lucky I wasn't there. Adam said that Kelly beat his face in pretty bad, but I'd do worse. I probably would've killed him, at least given him brain damage from a concussion."

"You and me both."

"And, uh, Adam said the cops are gonna talk to all the football players?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah. The detective did mention that. He also told me and Will not to go after Evans, but--"

"You're not gonna listen?" Kevin asked.

"I'll probably wait two weeks so he thinks he's safe and then go after him. You're more than welcome to help."

"I'll cover for you that night."

"Thanks, man. So, the cops talk to you yet?" Jay asked.

"Not yet. But I really don't have anything to say. I didn't participate and I would never participate. Might mention that White never tried to stop it and Coach Davis said it was off-limits, though."

"You think Davis knew what was going on?" Jay asked.

"There's no way. If he knew, he would've kicked all of them off the team. He doesn't fuck with stuff like that. White, on the other hand, well, we both know how that cat rolls."

"I should've mentioned that when they were talking to me earlier this morning. I was just, I was so worried about Y/N."

"I get it. I'd be the same way if this happened with Vanessa. I'll tell them about it. You just make sure she's okay. And, if you, her, Will, or your mom need anything, gimme a call. I'd be happy to help."

"Thanks, Kev."

"Good luck planning your revenge. Tell me what the cover is."

"Oh don't worry, I will."

***

Two weeks later

Jay popped the screen out of his window. "You can put this back in, right?" he asked Will.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. Go give Evans hell for what he did to Y/N," he replied as he got out of bed and stood by the window.

"You know, still time for you to come with me."

"I got accepted to college already. I'm not about to jeopardize that. Cover still that Kev called and needed help babysitting Vanessa and Jordan?"

"That's the one. I'll crash at his house after this is done just so it seems believable. See you tomorrow."

"See you. Don't get beat up too badly."

Jay scoffed. "Yeah right."

Then, he started the three-mile walk to Derek Evan's house.

So, Jay had decided not to actually beat him up because his parents were home and he didn't want to have to deal with the parents. Derek and the cops he could handle, but having his parents yell that they want to press charges and scream at him, yeah no. He had stashed a can of black spray paint in a bush in his front yard and grabbed it when he was leaving. He planned on spray painting rapist on Derek's white car. Even though he didn't technically rape you, he tried to, so the word still stands.

Jay got there and pulled his hat down over his face. Then, he walked up the driveway and to Derek's car. He shook the can of spray paint and took the cap off. His finger was down on the button--

"Chicago PD!"

Fuck.

***

"Your last name's Halstead?" the cop who picked him up asked when they entered the 21st District.

"Yes, sir," he answered, his head hanging low and the can of spray paint still in his hand.

"Well, I need you to take a seat right there while I make a phone call. Do not move."

"Yes, sir."

Jay sat down on the bench across from the front desk and pulled out his phone. He sent texts to both Kevin and Will.

Cops caught me. At a police station right now. Will, don't you fucking dare tell Mom.

They replied that they were shocked, but Kevin said he could always come pick Jay up if he needed it. He figured Jordan and Vanessa would be okay by themselves for half an hour. And Will promised he wouldn't tell Mom...unless Jay needed bail money, then he'd have to tell her.

"Halstead," a gruff voice barked from the side of him.

Jay looked up to be met with one of the detectives who had worked your case. But, instead of being in his uniform, he was in normal clothes. The only thing that could tell anyone that he was a cop was the badge pinned to his jeans and the gun in its holster at his side.

Jay stood up.

"I had a feeling something like this might happen," Hank Voight stated. "So, I put a patrol car in front of the Evans' house."

"Am I under arrest?" Jay asked.

"You're not. But follow me."

Hank opened the door to the office next to where the bench was and Jay followed him in.

"Have a seat." Jay sat down in the chair in front of the desk and Hank sat in the chair behind the desk. If Jay didn't know any better, he'd say he was in the principal's office. "Jay, listen."

"Wait, how do you know I'm not Will?" Jay asked.

"I know that Will had red hair. And, you told the responding officer your full name, remember?"

"Yes, sorry."

"It's okay. A little questioning never hurt anybody. But, Jay, listen. You can't go and beat this kid up or destroy or vandalize his property." Jay opened his mouth to protest, but Hank put a hand up to stop him. "I understand that you're angry and want to get revenge for your sister. But, that's not going to make it like it didn't happen. And, you'd be the one getting in trouble, not him. Severide already did a number on him."

"But, Y/N doesn't want a trial because she doesn't want to relive it!" Jay argued. "I just have to let him get away with it?"

"He's not going to get away with it, I can promise you that. I just don't want you to be the one getting in trouble for bringing a little justice to the world. I can promise you justice will be served, though."

"How? If there's no trial and I can't go after him, how will justice be served?"

"Jay, just let it run its course. Now, I'm assuming your mom doesn't know you're here?"

"No, she doesn't. I planned on going to a friend's house after."

"I'll drive you there. All this vandalism stuff will stay between me, you, and the patrolman."

Jay's jaw dropped. "Wow, thank you so much."

"Hey, I would've done the same thing if I was in your shoes. Now, c'mon, let's get you to that friend's house."

***

One month later

It was your mom's first day back to work. She said she would stay home longer if you wanted her to, but you told her you were fine. And, she thought that as well because you had been coming out of your room more these past two weeks.

You walked to the kitchen to go get some water which was normal for you. All you had been doing since you were almost raped was sleeping. You'd occasionally have dinner with your family, but that was it. You also started seeing a therapist a week after the attempted rape, which helped immensely. But, when she saw your symptoms, she had suggested anti-depressants after you had talked to her for a couple weeks. So, you were on them.

After a week, you started to gain some energy back. It wasn't back to normal yet, but it was enough that you would watch movies and tv shows, read, and journal in your room instead of lying in bed staring at the ceiling and sleeping all day.

You were on your way back to your room with your glass of water when you heard a familiar opening line to one of your favorite Disney Channel movies: Lemonade Mouth.

You poked your head into the living room. "Are you guys watching Lemonade Mouth?" you asked your brothers.

"We were gonna change it to watch some hockey," Jay said. Then, he saw Will's pointed look. "But, if you want to watch Lemonade Mouth, then we can."

Will paused the tv. "Are you sure?" you asked.

"We're sure," Will replied. "I'll go make us some popcorn while you get comfortable."

And thus started the plan of watching a movie every night to get you out of your room. Sometimes, Will would have too much homework, so you'd watch a movie with Jay. Sometimes Jay would have a soccer game, so you'd watch a movie with Will. Sometimes, Will would have a ton of homework and Jay would have a soccer game, so you'd watch a movie with your mom. Either way, it was nice to know that they were there for you and that you didn't have to talk about anything with them.

"Hey, like my new shirt?" Jay asked.

"When did you go shopping?" Will asked as he looked up from his textbook.

"Practice got canceled because Coach is sick and Hailey wanted to get some food and go to Goodwill, so we got food and went to Goodwill."

"Jesus, man, you are so whipped. Didn't you just become boyfriend and girlfriend last week?"

"Yes. Y/N you-- what's wrong?"

Your breath was caught in your throat and you felt like you couldn't breathe. If you could see yourself right now, you knew you'd look like a ghost.

"Nothing. I- I just need to get some water and then I'm gonna go take a nap."

"Okay," Will started, "you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

You walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, but you also grabbed your bottle of antidepressants and put them in the pocket of your sweatshirt. Then, you made your way to your bedroom and locked the door.

How the hell did Jay manage to find the exact same shirt at a thrift store? It was a navy blue shirt with the Abercrombie and Fitch logo on it...the same exact shirt Derek was wearing on the night of the party.

It all came flooding back to you. You screaming...him slapping you...you crying...

You couldn't breathe.

"Ahhh!" you sobbed and dropped to your knees and curled up into a ball, taking the pills out of your pocket.

You continued sobbing and then you heard a knock on your door and heard the doorknob rattle.

"Y/N, Y/N, I need you to open this door," Will told you.

"No! Leave me alone!" you yelled.

"Can't do that. Mom left us in charge since she went back to work. If you don't open this door in three seconds, we're coming in somehow."

He got to two and you relented and opened the door.

"Y/N...what--"

You thrust the bottle of pills in his hand. "Take them! Take them, please!"

"Were you...?"

"I don't know! I don't know, Will! Just get them away from me!"

He pocketed them. "Okay, what's going on? What happened?"

Jay came around the corner.

"It's the same- the same--"

"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath for me and then we can talk about this."

After five minutes of Will calming you down, you were finally able to catch your breath enough to talk.

"Jay's got the same shirt!" you wailed.

"The same shirt as who?" Will asked gently, careful not to touch you for fear that it would send you into another anxiety attack.

"Derek!"

Will turned around. "Jay, go rip that fucking shirt off and fucking burn it!" Jay just stood there, shellshocked. "Jay!"

He turned around and went to his room to take it off and get rid of it.

"Now, can I give you a hug?" Will asked. You nodded and allowed him to embrace you. When he pulled away, he asked, "Were you really going to do that? With the pills?"

"I- I don't think so," you told him. "I just saw them when I was getting water and grabbed them. I don't want to die."

"That's good. That's really good. But, you know we have to talk to Mom about this, right?"

"Yeah. And, I know I'm supposed to go back to school next week, but I- I don't think I can handle it, Will."

"Then we'll talk to her about that, too."

Jay ran out of his room--in a different shirt--holding his phone in his hand and looking frantic. "We have to go now!" he yelled.

"Why?" Will asked. "Where?"

"Mom just called and said she had to check out Hailey in the hospital."

***

"Hailey!" Jay yelled as he entered her room. He saw her bruised face and her arm in a sling. "Baby, what happened?"

"He- he--" And then she erupted into sobs and reached her good arm over to Jay.

You noticed that one of the officers who worked your case was also in the room.

"Hailey, honey, do you want to press charges?" Trudy Platt asked.

"I can't!" she wailed as she lifted her head off of Jay's chest. "I know I called you, but he's my dad!"

Jay let go of her. "Your dad did this? That son of a--"

"Jay!" your mom yelled.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Hailey reached for her water, but you noticed it was slightly out of her reach so you handed it to her. You hated seeing the girl who you considered your best friend in this much pain, at the hands of her father of all people.

Since you were only in school for less than a month before everything happened and didn't have time to form real, long-lasting friendships you didn't really have any close friends besides Hailey. And now, you knew how she felt when she saw you in that hospital bed six weeks ago.

"Hailey, I can't let you go back to that house," Trudy said.

"But I don't want to press charges! Can't you just pretend you didn't see that? That I didn't call you?" Hailey argued.

"Honey, since you're a minor, I'm supposed to press charges no matter what."

"But he's my dad!" she cried. "I know he's horrible, but I don't want him to rot in prison."

"Hailey, listen to me," Trudy began. "I am giving you an out here. I won't press charges, but for me not to press charges, I need you to be in a safe home."

"You're saying I need to find to find someplace else to live?" she asked.

Trudy nodded.

"Mom, can she...?" Jay asked as he looked up at his mom.

In that moment, your mom saw in Hailey what she had seen in you six weeks ago: a scared little girl who needed the comfort and love of a parent. And, your mom knew she wasn't her actual parent, but she had been over so much recently that it was hard for her to see Hailey as just one of Will's classmates...especially now since she was your best friend and Jay's girlfriend.

"She can stay. As long as she doesn't mind sharing a room with Y/N," your mom agreed.

And, it was that day that Hailey Upton decided that she wanted to become a cop.

***

Hank Voight pulled over Derek on his way home from school.

"Is there a problem, officer?" Derek asked as he rolled down his window.

"First of all, it's detective. And second of all, there is a problem. The problem is that you almost raped a girl," he stated.

"And she didn't file charges, so until she does, I didn't do that."

Hank reached over and grabbed Derek Evans by the collar. "Listen here. In two weeks, you are going to write a letter to your parents saying that you're running away because of all the ridicule you've faced because of this. And then, you're going to meet me at this address." He thrust a piece of paper into his hand. "Oh, and if you think I'm not serious, let me know if your principal shows up to school tomorrow because I can promise you he won't be there. He'll be in prison...or dead. I'll let you think over which one it is." He let go of his collar. "If I were you, I'd show up or it will be a whole lot worse for you."

Derek swallowed. "Okay."

***

Two weeks later

Hailey was settling in at your house, but you still weren't ready to go back to school.

"Y/N," your mom called from the kitchen. You walked out there. "I talked to one of your counselors. They said that they think online school would be helpful. Is that something you might be interested in?"

You never thought your mom would cave to this, but you were on cloud nine. "Yes, please."

"Okay, but can you try to go back at the beginning of next year?"

"I don't know, Mom."

"That's okay. I shouldn't have asked you that. You'll know when you're ready." She paused. "But, one of the things I'm worried about is you not getting any social interaction."

Will walked out of his room. "What if I do it with her?" he asked. "I could go to school for my AP classes and then take the other ones online. The AP ones are really the only ones that matter."

"Will, it's your senior year," your mom argued.

"I know. I can still do all the fun senior stuff, but I wouldn't have to be at school all day."

"Can I do it, too?" Jay asked. "And, I can still go to school for math and English because we know how I am in those subjects. I can even ask Hailey and text some friends if they want to do online school, too," he suggested.

Tears formed in your eyes. Your brothers were giving up their high school experiences for you.

"Boys, I don't know--"

"Mom, you said the issue was social interaction," Will began, "if we're there and other people are there, she wouldn't be missing out on social interaction."

Your mom sighed. "Are you two sure about this? This isn't a decision you can take lightly." They both said they were sure. "Okay, I'll call the school."

"I'll ask Hailey and make some phone calls," Jay said.

And so, three days later, you, your brothers, Hailey, Kim, Adam, Kevin, Natalie, Stella, and Kelly were all sitting in a coffee shop working on online school.

***

Derek Evans walked a block before he got in Hank Voight's car.

"You have everything?" Hank asked, referring to Derek's backpack filled with clothes, toiletries, and other necessities.

"Yes, sir," Derek answered. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," was all Hank said and then he started driving.

They pulled up to a dirt area on the water with four huge silos. "What are we doing here?" Derek asked.

"Get out of the car."

Derek listened and then Hank followed him around the car. He pulled his gun out of his holster and pressed the cool, black metal against Derek's temple. Derek froze.

"Walk," Hank commanded.

Derek listened and he walked with Hank still holding a gun to his head.

Hank told him to stop and then he drew a line in the dirt with his foot.

"You see this line?" he asked.

"Uh huh," Derek answered while visibly shaking.

"If you ever cross this line again, there will be a bullet in your head. Walk and don't come back." Hank lowered his gun and Derek started walking, not looking back, doing exactly as Hank had told him to do. "Nobody fucks with my city, Evans," Hank said to his retreating back. "Nobody. Not even you."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this rewrite! Thank you for reading! Please remember to reblog/like and comment because I always love when those notifications pop up and I love reading your comments!And, if you like my writing, you can support me at buy me coffee here. It's only a dollar and it's through Paypal and any currency can be used, no subscription required! (I write these fics for free, so I figured I'd try this out!) As always, if you want ti be added to my taglist, just comment that and I’ll add you

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