#seox and sandy handshake for million regrets and still being loved

[cxffexngel]

words about what happened in the clan the Erune young man comes from is vague. Sandalphon hasn't made much research or asked; from simply not digging in the information at all and not to disturb the only two that remain from such a violent past. Especially the progenitor of what had befallen the guillotine of carnage and death's scythe upon all of what it was.

'' Perhaps. '' The words fall mutely at the downcast gaze that held millenia old stories and weariness. '' We all are fools but, in the end, as far as I've learned, is what makes us what we are, that we are alive. '' The entire crew is nothing but a bunch of fools. Fools that love too much, that trust even their enemies as soon as they're brought down to an understanding; the captaim themselves was the biggest, strongest fools out everyone. This, has been something Sandalphon learned ever since joining the crew, forced to interact after holing himself in his room for months after everything that happened in what feels like it's nothing more than few weeks ago and instead has been, in reality, now years. Eyes follow the other's movements a bit, looking at the torn mask that the other donned a lot along that the one that covered half the erune's face. Six was an enigma, one that the archangel was, perhaps, a bit curious about – but never had a chance of meeting beyond his times with the other one whenever assisting with mundane things himself. From delivering medicine and food, bringing the kids some donations from the grancypher of supplies they needed...

'' I was who caused the death of the one I loved and admired the most, and yet never once I was blamed for it. Is it bad to wish that maybe I could be blamed for it? as stupid at it may sound? '' but he'd not expect an answer for that one. There's a gentle, bitter chuckle that airs out his lips as a rough hand supports his head while on the counter by the other. Index finger fidgeting with a curl that catches on the digit.

'' He's back, and my mission now remains to just... live. And yet it's not an easy mission as some make it out look to be, I feel like you understand this. So... Sometimes is easier just to remain awake, do something to clear my mind and being here.''

‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍there's a short silence that follows, as was how Seox worked. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍internalizing information, feeling it ; ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍a creature ruled by emotion, whose understanding came from what feelings each piece invoked within.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍these ones, he finds, were not new. they were old, but still raw — would possibly always be raw, ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍granted the tenacity of the bloody hands belonging to the ghosts brought to be by his own actions gripping at his neck. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍he is not a monster, the captain insisted, but he knows his slaughtered clanmates would not agree.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍and who knew of Nehan's stance on the matter.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍last they spoke, it had ended amicably... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍in comparison to all times before.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍perhaps there was hope there, but Seox knew never to hold his breath. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍there are still parts of Nehan that he couldn't understand. parts that he wanted to, ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍but would only be allowed when Nehan was ready to let him. if ever.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍nevertheless... Sandalphon's words were ones that perhaps he himself would ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍have said based on those two facts alone, had he have taken the opportunity presented to speak first.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍so was to say...

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` ... Sounds like me. ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍and because it sounds so much like him, he decides to even the playing grounds a bit. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍his mask is set down onto the table — the full one, anyways. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍Seofon had taken the incentive to have it remade when he'd come back from Karm, ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍but he always kept the one that Nehan had broke.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍it was a reminder. proof of what he had done. proof that he must face it. both his past, and his present. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍proof that he now slips over the right side of his face. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` ... But I've never heard of a case where strength or ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍position dictates whether or not you're allowed to be ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍haunted by the past. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍Or whether or not you're allowed to be afraid of making ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍a mistake.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍... I've been afraid for most of my life. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍Of myself. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍Of the possibility that I could repeat my own folly ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍once again, someday.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍Put that beside the fact that Eternals are meant to be ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍the strongest mortals in the skies...

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍  ‍‍‍‍Then, what does that make me? A fool? `` ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍