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hellfire--cult · 9 months

Text

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

wc: 10.1k

HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS: +18, suicide attempt, reader is suicidal, PAS (Physician Assisted Suicide), neglectful parents, weed and alcohol, feelings of loneliness, hurt/comfort (?), fluff, kissing, some mentions of nausea, smut implication, angst. So much angst.

Plot: Eddie was new to the group, and he connected with you after an unfortunate event. You were excited to finally put an end to your suffering, of all those years of feeling nothing, and you had made a list of things to do before going.

a/n: I cannot stress this enough, please, do not read if this will be triggering for you. If you read PAST the warnings, it is your own responsibility, and I will not hold myself accountable for it.

This is somewhat inspired by the movie and book Me Before You. So yeah, have fun.

Always reblog your artists, likes don't do much.

Please, Trust Me

Eddie came into the group a little bit late, so to speak.

He was assigned to do a project alongside Steve Harrington in Psychology class. College was just something Eddie wanted to focus on studying since he had a reputation of repeating his senior year two times in a row, but Steve was friendly. Eddie, well, he didn’t realize how badly he needed social interaction until then.

So Steve introduced him to his group. Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, and you. Now, Eddie got to know everyone, except yourself. As Nancy put it, you were in many extracurricular classes, so your time was limited. Eddie, of course, understood, but he also felt you were scared of him somehow. You always averted your gaze from him in the little moments you spent together, so he gave up on trying to talk further with you.

Holidays were approaching, and Eddie had the opportunity that his uncle was leaving the nice house he finally got to purchase near lover’s lake in Hawkins, his hometown, so he thought it would be a great idea to invite everyone over… Well, not everyone.

Since he thought you were scared of him, he believed the invitation would be rejected, but everyone else agreed to come over to his place. It was just a two-hour drive, and he couldn’t wait to get drunk and high with everyone else.

Robin told him that you didn’t have time anyway to assist, seeing that you were going to visit your mother for Christmas, so Eddie’s guilt vanished completely. He felt horrible for not inviting you, that’s why he asked Robin to ask you about your plans for Christmas.

So off they went, having a great time by the lake, drinking beer, eating grilled burgers and sausages, and then on Christmas night, the fireworks went off, and everyone was already drunk by that time, messaging loved ones and wishing them great holidays.

The next day, you called Robin, wishing her a happy Christmas. Eddie was packing the suitcase to go back to Indianapolis, when he overheard Robin tell you that they were spending New years there too, completely surprising him. He expected to return on the 26th, but he was excited to spend more time with his friends. Once again, you told Robin that it was fine since you were still at your mom’s.

And so, new years went by. Now on the 2nd of January, they all finally returned completely drained from all the alcohol and food, but still with smiles on their faces. Robin then turned to Eddie with an innocent smile on her face as she sat on the passenger’s seat.

“Eds, can you drive me to Y/N’s place? I want to show her the rocks we picked up at the lake, and I will likely stay the night at her apartment.” She batted her eyelashes at him and he rolled his own eyes.

“Okay, let’s take you to the rich girl’s place.” You explained to the group that you weren’t good with a roommate, so you rented a place near the campus to live in until your studies finished. Eddie realized you weren’t a middle-class person just by knowing that, and he doesn’t know why you would choose a college like this one instead of Harvard or something like that, as rich people do in movies.

Robin met you thanks to you being signed up to tutor her in a particular class she was struggling with. She and you immediately clicked, despite you acting a bit shy and reserved at first, as if not trusting Robin at all, like a scared animal in the wild meeting another species.

Once they arrived at your apartment complex, Robin once more looked at Eddie with a pouty lip.

“And help me with my bag? My shoulders hurt from swimming all week…” And once more, Eddie rolled his eyes, sighing as the two of them got out of his van and he went to the back to get hold of her bag, swinging it over his shoulder.

“You can just say you are lazy as fuck Buckley.” She giggled at his response and they both walked into the reception, calling the elevator to go up to your floor. Once they were at your door, Robin knocked a few times, only to be met with no response. Her smile faded slightly and she tried again, and once more, met with silence.

“Maybe she didn’t return from her mom’s.” And she bent down to look under your mat, finding the spare key. You told her she was welcome at any time, to simply look under the mat for the key and make herself comfortable, knowing Robin likes some quiet away from the dorms now and then.

She opened the door–

“Hey, you–”

And she and Eddie immediately winced at the strong smell of unwashed dishes or something of the sort.

“Jesus Christ, what is that smell? Did she forget to wash the dishes before leaving?” Eddie replied, looking over at the kitchen counter, his eyes furrowing together as he looked at a particular tray that was filled with gingerbread men cookies. They were all with a bit of fungus, and one had been bitten, one of its arms missing.

Robin closed the door behind her as she looked around, finding that there were bottles of different alcoholic beverages on the sink, a cup of ramen noodles on the coffee table in front of the TV, half-eaten, and then she spotted the small Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

She remembers how excited you were, buying your tree, telling her that you never had the chance of decorating one before because it wasn’t truly celebrated in your household. Dread immediately invaded her as she remembered that, slowly walking towards it and Eddie following behind, dropping Robin’s bag to the floor.

Robin gasped as she kneeled to the floor, finding different presents under the tree, one for each person in the group, including Eddie. His heart plummeted to the floor as Robin showed him the small present, and you didn’t even know what he liked, yet you bought something for him.

Robin then turned while getting up, looking towards the door of your bedroom that was shut. She rushed towards it and she felt her heart starting to want to come out of her mouth as she swung it open as quickly as she could.

And there you were, in your bed, resting, and Robin felt herself breathe in relief, but Eddie didn’t. Not when he noticed the bottle of wine next to you, on your nightstand.

“Maybe she didn’t think she was gonna go to her mom’s and she forgot about the cookies.” Robin said as if almost trying to convince herself. Trying to make a reasonable explanation other than the most horrible one that she could think of because of course, she doubted it when you said you were visiting your mom.

Because you mentioned to her that you two weren’t close.

Eddie slowly walked towards you, not caring about the smell that lingered in your room, knowing that you probably hadn’t showered or cleaned the place in a while. He looked down on you, tilting his head. You had the blankets all over you while you rested on your belly, eyes completely closed.

He raised a hand towards your face, under your nose, and his breathing stopped. Your breaths were slow, not even deep, and you were drooling, all over your pillow. He grabbed onto the edge of the blanket and Robin moved to stop him, yet he yanked it off.

“Robin… call 911.”

But Robin was frozen as she looked at your frame, her lip starting to shake as she inspected your right hand. A hand that was holding something that looked empty. Something that she saw was half full the last time she came over.

That orange flask that contained your sedatives.

And you chugged them down with alcohol.

Steve was rubbing Robin’s back as she sobbed into her hands, hunched over the chair of the waiting room. Eddie was on her other side, his leg bouncing up and down as he bit his nails. One day he was laughing with everyone and now he is waiting for some good news regarding your health, someone he barely knows, yet he is worried shitless for.

Loud heels were heard across the hallway, a woman in her late 40’s, wearing designer clothes, looking rather stern as she got closer to the door of the room you are in. Her arms are crossed as she stands next to it, tapping her heel on the floor, catching the attention of the three people sitting on the chairs.

“Excuse me?” Robin’s weak voice called out and the lady snapped her head towards her with an eyebrow raised up.

“Yes?”

“Who are you?”

“I am this girl’s mother. Who are you?”

And the three friends froze in their seats. It was your mother. The person you supposedly spent the holidays with, yet, she didn’t look concerned for you, but rather she looked angry, or disappointed.

“We– We’re her friends.” Robin replied with a small voice, because could she even say that? Do you deserve someone like her as a friend? Even as a partner? Someone who forgets what you told them almost a year ago? The woman scoffed, shaking her head.

“Friends? That is surprising. Were you there when she did this?” Her voice was cold, and anger started filling inside of Eddie’s chest. Why is she acting this way when her child is inside that room, fighting for her life? A life she almost took herself?

“N-No, we found her like that…” Robin looked back down again and Eddie could only look at her wrecked face with pity, yet, he could not comfort her.

“I see. Did the doctor come out or something yet? I have somewhere to be, and I cannot waste my time on this. Not again.”

And the three sitting people shot up from their seats, all with alarmed looks on their faces.

“I’m sorry… again?” Robin asked, the answer scaring her yet she needed to know what it meant. She needed to know if she was an even more horrible person than she was ten seconds ago. Your mother scoffed, shaking her head again and Eddie’s hands turned into fists.

“It’s the third time. I already sent her to a psychiatrist, a mental hospital, and therapists, and yet she still tries. That girl has everything, and yet she always craves attention this way. I’m sick of it.”

And Robin wanted to puke, right then and there, while Steve looked at Eddie with tear-filled eyes and the metalhead could see how bad his friend felt. How evil he must feel. Steve gulped and looked back at your mother, clearing his throat to be able to talk.

“W-Why would she do this?” And your mother scoffed, looking for her phone in her purse as she talked.

“Just because I forgot about the holidays and her birthday. I already sent her a message apologizing and telling her she could ask for anything she wanted, but she went and did this.”

And Robin froze.

Birthday.

December 28th.

Your birthday.

And she couldn’t handle it anymore, yanking herself away from Steve to rush towards the toilet. Steve called out to her, rushing to her aid as tears rolled down his cheeks and Eddie was frozen in place.

Not only did you spend the holidays alone, but you also spent your birthday by yourself, while they were all having fun in Hawkins, shooting fireworks and drinking alcohol to their heart's content. And you were alone, with a bottle of wine and instant noodles.

He was about to talk to your mother, about to insult her, to drag her on the floor, but the opening of the door in front of him made him stop in his tracks as the doctor walked out with a board in his hand.

“Okay, so, we got her blood cleaned up. It’s good that you caught her at such an early stage. Her vital signs look stable now, but she will have to stay here for a few days, two tops, so we can monitor her a bit more.” Your mother cleared her throat and the doctor looked up at her with a tilt of his head.

“So, she’s okay.” And there was such coldness in your mother’s voice that Eddie felt his vile rising in his throat. The doctor only sighed, taking his glasses off.

“She is, but we cannot overlook a suicide attempt. Does she have anyone to talk to? Maybe I can give you brochures for–”

“I already sent her to an institution once, but it didn't work. That child is an attention seeker, pay it no mind.”

Eddie’s eyes were burning in anger at her words and the doctor looked as surprised and hurt as he did. He cannot bear to hear your mother’s words any longer, so little care, with lack of empathy and lack of love. He wondered how many things you endured with a woman like this in your life, and honestly, he was afraid of finding out.

“W-Well, since you’re the mother, maybe you should–”

“She is a grown woman now. She can make her own decisions as you can see. I shall not worry about her anymore.” And just like that, the heels echoed in the hallway once more and Eddie’s eyes were wide as he looked at her retreating figure. A mother leaving her child after they tried to end their life, like no care in the world, as if she hadn’t given them their life to begin with.

Three times? Three times she did this? Walking away from you? How could she call you an attention seeker? How could she even acknowledge something like that when you were screaming for help?

“Ahem.”

Eddie blinked as he looked towards the doctor who had a confused yet pained look on his face.

“She is awake if you want to see her. I assume you are a friend of hers?”

Is he? He is not a friend, but you cannot be alone, not here, not right now. Robin is probably trying to breathe while Steve is comforting her, but maybe… Eddie knows you probably don’t want to see them either. None of that group. So he gave the doctor a nod, and he slowly opened the door of the white room.

His eyes scanned it, and finally, they landed on you. Your arms were connected to an IV and a blood transfusion bag, the heart rate monitor beeping right next to you as your back rested against the pillows, letting you sit on the bed. You looked emotionless. Eyes empty. Hand on each side of your body and Eddie knew your mind, your feelings, were completely shut off.

He gulped with nerves and the door closed behind him, making him wince, but it alarmed you that someone came into the room, making you look up. Your eyes twitched in surprise, yet if you were, you didn’t express it, nor show it.

“I guess you’re the one that found me?” Your voice was empty, with no tone, as if it were a recording or an AI robot. Eddie slowly nodded as he took a few steps toward the chair that was on the other side of the bed.

“Robin and I found you.” You gave a slow nod, looking back down to your lap. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know anything about you but he feels like he should have. He cleared his throat to continue talking. “I, uh, liked the necklace you got me. Pretty metal.” He winced at his words because it was something he shouldn’t have brought up at all.

Your eyes raised to meet his, another nod going towards his way, diverting your eyes back to your lap. He looked around for a second, the nerves all over his body. He was almost trembling with the need to talk to you, but what can he say? What could be something you want to hear right now? And coming from him?

“Ask away.” He startled at your voice, jumping on his seat as he looked at you once more.

“What?”

“I know you want to ask. And maybe you can also help me by telling the rest about it and how I am not going to talk to them again.” You were still not looking at him and he cleared his throat as he felt his mouth going dry, but now he knew you weren’t going to talk to the others about this. The relationship is already broken inside of you.

“I– Okay, um… I guess the first question is, why?” He slowly asked, afraid of even being able to talk to you about this, but sometimes they say that a stranger is the best listener, and maybe Eddie was just that.

“Why… Only child, homeschooled all my life so no interaction whatsoever with the world, absent mother, holidays and birthdays by myself, father was never found. Need to say more?”

And shit, Eddie was not expecting that at all. You had been miserable from the very beginning, unwanted by your own mother, and now he realized how horrible you must have felt with the whole group. Your first ever friends and they forgot every single detail of you. How you never spent a holiday with people, and was so excited you even baked cookies to share and bought presents for a gift exchange, your first ever most likely, only to never happen.

And now, he realized that… His other friends do not deserve any kind of pity, or forgiveness.

“Okay, then… Why were you scared of me?” At his question, your eyebrow raised up, and turned your head to look at him.

“Is that what you thought?” You asked with complete confusion in her tone. He looked at you with his own frown, tilting his head.

“Well yeah, you avoided me like the plague…” And you looked up at the ceiling, closing your eyes, and shaking your head with a sigh.

“No. I don’t trust people easily as you can see.” You looked down at your lap once again and he wanted to sigh a little bit in relief at that, knowing that his clothes or his whole demeanor didn’t actually scare her. She was just shy and probably nervous.

“Right… Um, Robin and Steve are here as well, do you want me to–”

“No. I don’t want to see them.” And your words spoke for your pain, and Eddie was not going to argue against it. They honestly didn’t deserve your forgiveness or kindness, that much he knew, but he also felt guilty. Really guilty.

“I– I am sorry… I didn’t invite you because I really thought you hated me– and I took everyone away, I didn’t know any of this, I am so sorry if I knew–”

“You weren’t the one who forgot. You don’t know me, but they did.” He gave you a nod in understanding, yet the guilt is still lingering in his stomach. He cleared his throat and he wanted to ease the tension for you, to relieve the somber moment that filled the room.

“So uh, you knew I liked Metallica huh? Is it because of the hundreds of shirts that I own?” Your eyebrow raised at him and you turned to face him while he gave you a cheeky smile of his own. You squinted slightly at him, but a small tug on the corner of your lips gave you away.

“Well yeah, all the times I’ve seen you it was either Metallica or Black Sabbath. It had to be one of the two.”

“What if I only liked their logos, huh?” At that, you rolled your eyes at him, but he kept making jokes at you, and a giggle here and there could be heard in the room.

Robin and Steve were hearing the both of you outside your room. They looked at each other for a minute before hesitantly walking away. Robin turned her head at almost every step, wanting to barge into the room to hug you, to say she was sorry. But she knew it meant nothing, not anymore, and not ever again.

What she did, what they did, cannot be fixed.

Eddie was lounging with his headphones on as he listened to music while resting against a tree trunk. He was bobbing his head as he wrote some lyrics on the notebook he had over his leg. For the past three days, he hasn’t heard of you. He tried visiting you yesterday only to find out you were discharged and he felt too embarrassed to just go to your apartment.

He had also distanced himself from the group. It didn’t sit right to be with people who could easily forget about something so important like a birthday. You didn’t have any social media, so the least they could do is put the birthday in their own cell phones, like Eddie did as soon as he left the hospital.

It’s not like he didn’t talk to them, he just made excuses when they asked to hang out with him. He just couldn’t shake off the bad vibes from it all.

He looked up from his lap only for his eyes to bulge out of his skull as he saw you almost prancing in happiness while walking through campus. That’s a good sign, isn’t it? He immediately put his notebook into his backpack and pulled his headphones down, resting them around his neck. He got up, almost tripping as he did so, as he rushed towards you.

“Hey! Hey!” He yelled at you to catch your attention as he got closer. You turned to face him, still with a wide smile on your face.

“Hi, Eddie.” You were smiling, that’s good, that’s really good. He was almost breathing heavily from the run he just did. He wasn’t athletic and the smoking surely doesn’t do him any good.

“Yeah– I just– give me a minute.” He huffed as he tried taking a deep breath in, and you giggled motioning to him to sit on a bench near the both of you. You sat down as soon as he plopped down, taking another huff of air as he turned his head to look at you. “So, what got you all smiley?”

“Well, I just dropped out of college!” You announced with a smile and jazz hands, startling Eddie completely. His face was contorted in confusion and wonder.

“What? Why? You didn’t like what you were studying?” You shook your head as you looked at the horizon, not anything in particular.

“It’s just pointless now.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m going to California in three months.” Your head turned to look at him still with a smile on your face. “I’ve been offered P.A.S.”

He frowned, not knowing what those syllables meant at all. He tried putting them together in his head but nothing was coming up.

“What’s that?”

And Eddie didn’t know why you opened up to him with that. He didn’t know why he didn’t care that you did. He didn’t know why this relationship between the two of you evolved in this manner, as quickly as it did… but he never expected to hear the response you gave him.

“Physician Assisted Suicide.”

And now, Eddie knew that term, and his eyes bulged out of his skull. You were… offered that? How can that happen? You had no health issues to go through something like that, so why would you consider that? Why would the doctors even consider that for you? His heart was just hammering in his chest as dread invaded his gut.

“W-What? Why– how?” He was speechless, not really knowing what he was asking or what he wanted to know at this point. He felt his gut turning at the information like he couldn’t believe someone as young as yourself could even consider that way out.

“Well, it was due to all my medical records, be it psychological and physical. My mindset never changed.” Your gaze turned from him to nothingness once more. “I go, get help, only to get out and for everything to be the same. It never changes, because it was never me who had to change.”

Eddie slowly blinked at your wording and his eyes drifted to the sky as his thoughts raced through his mind. Can he even talk you out of this? How can he even do that? You seem happy, way too happy with this solution… You were excited.

“You’re not… scared?”

“No. Not at all. I am ready to go. My heart can barely handle it anymore.” And Eddie’s eyes turned towards the profile of your face. You had made your decision clear, and he wouldn’t be able to stop you now. No one can. The group was no longer part of your life, your mother didn’t care about your decision so it seems… and he is no one to stop you.

“Alright… You– um, what are you gonna do until… you know, then?” He asked and you smiled at him, grabbing your backpack to take out your notebook, and flipping a page to show him a list, which made him frown in confusion.

“These are things I never tried because the opportunity never presented itself. Before, I didn’t know–” You cut your voice short at what you were about to say, and then you continued. “Now that I know when it’s gonna happen, I don’t want to go with any regrets.”

Eddie looked at the list, and he couldn’t believe… how trivial some of these things were.

- Go to an amusement park

- Smoke a cigarette

- Buy a Barbie Dreamhouse

- Eat a cake for breakfast

- Get high

And then he saw more complicated ones.

- Go skydiving

- Learn to drive (or attempt)

- Try to skateboard

- Ride on a jet ski

- Attempt to make a rainbow cake

And so many more. You had filled an entire page with things you wanted to do and he looked up at you to see you looking up at the sky with a smile on your lips.

“I think I should get the Barbie Dreamhouse first. Oh, maybe get some alcohol, I never got fully drunk, but maybe tonight I can since I don’t have to wake up early anymore–” And you went on with your plans and Eddie was just staring at you as the thoughts ran through his brain.

Everyone else was walking all around the two of you, and nobody knew that you were going to die in three months. No one knew you had made an entire bucket list with things to do before going. No one knew about this decision of yours, and he wasn’t going to let you be alone in this. He doesn’t want you to live these last few weeks with no one at your side.

“You know, or I can make one of your wishes on the list come true.” Your head snapped towards him with a surprised look on your face.

“Oh, what?” And a smirk formed on Eddie’s lips.

“Getting high.”

“Did you prepare the pan?”

“Uh…”

“Eddie!”

He immediately rushed to grab onto the pan as he burst into giggles thanks to the weed in his system. The munchies came to life with you two after smoking a whole joint from Eddie’s stash. You had the open bag of pizza rolls in your hands, the oven already turned on as you waited for Eddie to put some oil spray on the pan.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just– I was stuck looking at the wall.” He simply replied to you, making you burst into laughter, trying not to let the pizza rolls fall to the ground. He followed you with chuckles as he sprayed the pan and handed it to you so you could throw the pizza rolls on it and then begin cooking them in the oven.

You were relaxed, that much Eddie knew, and he was smiling as you tip-toed in a dance towards your couch, plopping down. He followed soon after, sitting next to you. You giggled as you stared at the ceiling.

“I feel like I’m on a cloud.” Eddie stared at your profile for a while before he began talking once more.

“I wanna help.”

“Hmm?” You turned to face him still with a dopey smile on your face.

“I want to help you complete some things on your list.”

And your smile fell as if becoming sober out of nowhere. Eddie then gulped but his resolution was already said and you moved uncomfortably in your place.

“You don’t have to pity me. I can do these–”

“No, you can’t. Learning to drive a car? How do you plan to do that?” At that, you opened and closed your mouth many times and then cleared your throat.

“An instructor!” Eddie rolled his eyes at that, and put his hand up, his fingers up.

“Getting drunk, you need supervision.” He put a finger down. “Going to a concert, you’re gonna get squashed.” He put another one down. “Playing Mortal Kombat, you need an enemy.” He put another and then you stopped him completely, shoving his hand down.

“Okay, okay, okay! I see your stupid point.” You sighed as you threw your head back against the headrest of the couch, looking at your ceiling. He knew you were overthinking it, but he honestly wanted to help you in any way he could.

“C’mon, there are a few things in your list I am dying to try too. Like– Eating Argentinian food. I never tried that shit, I bet it’s fucking delicious.” You giggled at his expression and then nodded at him.

“Okay, fine. You can help. You will also help me bake that stupid rainbow cake I always wanted to try.” He laughed at that with a shake of his head.

“Another thing I never did in my life was bake. It’s gonna be a journey. Do you have insurance here? We might burn it all down.” At that you punched his shoulder lightly, causing him to laugh it out followed by your giggle.

And what a journey it was gonna be.

“Seriously, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GET ME INTO THIS TOO!” Eddie almost screamed as he looked out the window of the helicopter with a frightened look on his face. Harnesses were all around his body, a man behind him strapping himself closer to Eddie’s back.

You were in front of him, holding your laughter as you held onto a handle on the side of the big machine that was now miles and miles above the ground. The helmets on both of your heads almost crushed your skulls but the protection was needed. Another man was strapping himself to you behind your back.

“Oh come on! You wanted to try new things!” You yelled at him so he could hear you over the loud sound of the helicopter.

“Yes! BUT NOT SKYDIVING! I WAS HAPPY TO WAIT FOR YOU WITH EARTH BENEATH MY FEET!” He yelled back and you were trying really hard to contain your laughter. Suddenly the big door next to the both of you slid open and the wind immediately pushed your body and Eddie’s back from the force but the guys remained still as they held onto the handles above the door.

“You guys ready!?” The one behind you asked and Eddie rolled his eyes behind the goggles.

“DO I HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE?”

“Nope.” The guy behind him said before jumping out with no warning, dragging Eddie with him, and then the guy strapped to you followed close behind. You were screaming your lungs out, and Eddie was shrieking. The adrenaline of falling was making him feel butterflies in his belly, almost making him feel sick.

He can hear you closer now and he raised his head to see you in front of him with your arms splayed out and reaching out for him. He could hear your laughter through your screaming and he reached out, fighting the strong wind, to finally lock his hands with yours as you two were freefalling towards the ground.

He couldn’t help but smile and cheer out from how extreme the whole situation was. He didn’t know how you weren’t hungover, you had gotten yourself as drunk as possible yesterday night while dancing to his music. He showed you how to headbang properly, and he took care of you when you started letting the contents out in the toilet.

He held your hands as tightly as possible, your fingers intertwined with his, as you both yelled with excitement and fear as you plummeted down and down. You only separated when the men behind your backs tapped on your sides so they could pull the parachute open.

Your bodies jerked as you started floating in the sky, and Eddie was left laughing as you both glided downwards towards the ground again. He could see the entire city and the fields as you both kept coming down. He turned his head to see you laughing as well, your head looking up at the sky in bliss and he felt his heart tug on him slightly.

Once you two touched earth again, Eddie let the air out of his lungs with relief and the guy behind him unstrapped himself so Eddie could catch a proper breath, taking the goggles and helmet off. You followed a few seconds later, walking towards him with a smile on your face and taking your goggles off.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” You were breathing heavily and he scoffed at you with a shake of his head, flicking his fingers on your forehead.

“I won’t let you drag me into something like this ever again.”

You laughed at him and you both walked back to Eddie’s van after you paid for the experience. You didn’t let Eddie pay at all, since you dragged him into it. He was going to invite you for dinner though, and you wanted McDonalds, so he was driving back towards town as you two talked in the van.

“So, you never told me about your parents.” You blurted out, catching him by surprise, but you were indeed right. He gripped his steering wheel a little tighter, but he kept a small smile on his face.

“Oh, where to begin? My mother died when I was young and my Father was… very abusive, and often dragged me into stealing with him. He got caught and he’s been in jail for a while now, he’s charged with robbery and homicide attempt.” He took a big gulp in as he kept driving, not used to letting people into his life in this way. “But, my uncle Wayne took me in at fifteen. He is the father figure my father failed to be.”

You were silent as you listened to him. He didn’t hear anything from you so he turned to face you, only to see you looking at him with tears running down your cheeks. He wondered what was going on in your head at that point. He was about to ask you what was wrong and you sniffled, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

“I’m– sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.” You said regretfully and he instantly shook his head.

“No, no… don’t worry. I’m past it.” He was worried about what you were thinking about at the moment since you remained silent for a while.

“I’m a little jealous to be honest… You had someone that…” And he waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t, he pressed forward.

“Someone that what?”

“Wanted you.”

And his heart broke at that, immediately so, and he knew his eyes started burning from the incoming tears and he shook his head to keep focused on driving. You didn’t need him to cry, you didn’t need that.

But should he tell you what he thinks? Should he tell you what has been on his mind for the past month that he helped you tick things off your list?

“I–”

“Oh! Before I forget–” You looked through your purse, pulling out your phone as you started scrolling, and he frowned as he tried to look at what you were doing and then back at the road. You giggled and moved away so he couldn’t see. “No peeking!”

“Oh come on, you can’t just do that and not expect me to be anxious!” He laughed as he kept his gaze on the road and then he saw light in his peripheral vision and he looked quickly to see you were showing your phone to him. He switched from the road and to your phone but he couldn’t quite read it. “What’s that?”

“You know how one of the things was to go to a concert?” He nodded and you giggled, putting your phone down again. “I got us two tickets to go see Megadeth!”

His jaw could just fall from his skull at this point as he tried to focus on driving and not the shock from those news. Did you say Megadeth? Are you serious? Eddie has been dying to see them live but when he got into the virtual line they got sold out in just a few seconds.

“What?!” He yelled and you kicked your feet on your seat as you stared down at the phone. He was speechless, a smile spreading on his face, only for it to fall back down. “Wait, do you even LIKE Megadeth!?”

“Well, I haven’t heard much, BUT YOU LIKE THEM, and I assumed that we should go to a concert we both can enjoy. I doubt you want to go to a Taylor Swift concert.” You replied with a wiggle of your eyebrows only for him to scoff.

“Taylor Swift has some sick songs. But– Yes, I do prefer Megadeth sweetheart.” He smiled widely at you and then looked back at the road, cheering as he hit the steering wheel with excitement. “Fuck yeah!”

You were laughing on the passenger’s seat and Eddie was smiling all the while as realization started to dawn on him that… he may like something more than Megadeth’s music.

It was a special kind of tune.

“Seriously, how long are you gonna take darling, we had to go like yesterday!” Eddie yelled with a pissed-off tone as he paced in your living room.

“It’s my first time wearing something like this, it needs to be perfect!” He heard you yell from the bathroom and he sighed, but a smile was splayed on his lips. He was looking out the window as he waited for you in his Megadeth tank top with a black leather jacket on top. He heard the bathroom click open and he sighed in relief, turning around with a roll of his eyes.

“Finally–” And his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your hair was messy, completely batted, wearing heavy black makeup on your eyes, strong lipstick on your lips, a black top with a black long-sleeved fishnet shirt on top, and then black leather pants below. You gave him a twirl and wiggled your eyebrows at him.

“So!? I had to look at a tutorial on YouTube to get this done, but I think I did pretty good–”

“You look beautiful.” And it was natural. It came out without doubt, without him thinking too much about it, and you were shocked, yet, he noticed how you diverted your gaze away from him, and he chuckled at how embarrassed you got from a compliment regarding your physique.

“I– uh, it isn’t weird?” You asked and Eddie knew you felt a little self-conscious of how different you looked. But you were indeed beautiful, this just enhanced it in ways he didn’t think could be possible and he felt his knees bending for you.

“It isn’t darling…”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you and Eddie could only stare at you as he walked closer to your frame. He saw how your shoulders went up and down a littler harder than before, signaling him that you were taking deeper breaths, maybe from nervousness, he didn’t know.

“Um–”

“Sweetheart…” You finally looked at him and he smiled, rolling his eyes. “Can we please go now!?”

And you giggled at him, the tension leaving the both of you as you made your way out to head to his van.

The ride to the stadium was filled with music, mostly Megadeth which you started listening to since you showed Eddie the tickets three weeks ago. Today signaled the second month of you two completing your bucket list.

One more month to go.

And the concert was filled with screams and laughter from your part, Eddie protecting you from the people pushing against you, but you didn’t care, experiencing your first concert ever, and you wanted to share it with him. This was your first and last concert, and you decided it was gonna be Megadeth, for his taste.

“That was AWESOME! My neck needs ice from all the headbanging though.” You sighed as you two got back into the van after almost three hours of jumping around. Your make up was smudged, your hair looked a little sweaty, and your lipstick had washed away from the sweat, yet, you looked as beautiful as you did hours ago. Even before the makeup. Maybe even more.

“Hey, you were great for your first metal concert.” You giggled at his words and gave him a nod.

“I am a natural.” You smiled at him and he just kept staring at you, licking his lips as he looked down and then moved his whole body in order to face you. The nerves were almost killing him as he tried to formulate the following words.

“I uh– I can help you cross another thing off your list.” You tilted your head in question and you pulled out your notebook from the bag you left in the van with your bucket list and then a green highlighter.

“What is it?” You smiled at him as you handed them to him and he scanned the whole list, looking for that one thing and when he spotted it, he felt his heart in his throat as he slowly showed it to you, pointing at the line.

Have the first kiss

You blinked once, twice, and then looked up at him with a confused frown in your eyebrows. He gulped loudly and he might have overstepped it, but he still waited for your response and he could see the incoming tears in your eyes as he felt his hands becoming sweaty.

“You– You don’t have to do that… I– You don’t have to do something you don’t want to–”

“I want to. I really want to.”

He could see that you were nervous, looking everywhere but his face. You didn’t reject him. You were worried that he didn’t want to do this and felt pressured because of your list, and that was far from the truth.

“I– How does this go?” And he wanted to smile at your innocence, but he felt sadness that you never experienced any kind of physical interaction in all your life. But he smiled anyway, in order to calm your nerves down. He raised his hand towards your cheek once you moved to face him in the passenger seat. Your breathing hitched at his touch, finally looking at him, directly into his brown eyes.

“Just close your eyes. You can tell me to stop whenever, I won’t pressure you, sweetness.”

And his voice was soft, and caring, his thumb smoothing your cheek in circles and when he saw you close your eyes, he took a deep breath in as he slowly leaned in. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the blood rushing to his head at a quick pace, but he had to focus. He knew his face was flushed, but he couldn’t help it.

He could smell your perfume still, despite all the jumping, all the sweat, it was still lingering on your body. He finally closed the gap between the two of you in a soft peck on the lips, staying there for two seconds before pulling away as a chill ran down his spine. He wanted to dive into it, take your lips completely, but he didn’t want to overstep. He opened his mouth to ask if you were okay, only to be surprised by your hands grasping his face, pulling him towards your mouth again.

He gasped into the kiss, and he took it as a sign that you wanted to know more, experience more, learn more. So he kissed back, his hand moving towards the back of your head in order to push you further into him as you two hovered over the console. He started to move his lips, slowly, and he felt you follow him, hesitant at first, maybe doubting what you were doing.

He was having a hard time focusing on not letting his instincts take over, a very horrible time. This was a bad idea. This was a terrible fucking idea and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to be the one to give this to you, because if someone else did… he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He didn’t want anyone close to you, not like this.

He felt your hands moving to the back of his head, your fingers digging into his curls, and he held a groan in, trying to not let it show how carnal he was becoming. He was nervous but he wanted to see if you wanted to take it even further, so he poked his tongue out, licking your bottom lip tentatively.

He heard a gasp coming from you and he noticed that you didn’t get the idea of what he wanted to do, so he tried again, licking in between your bottom and top lip. You seemed to know what part comes next, so you slowly opened your mouth, and he met his tongue with yours, earning another gasp of surprise.

He wanted to know what thoughts were running in your mind right now as he kissed you. Did you feel the heat rising? Did you feel scared like he does? Did you feel happy? Confused? Nervous? What is going on in that head of yours?

He didn’t want to break it apart, he really didn’t, but it’s been minutes, and he didn’t want to overdo it at all, and he can’t hide his real feelings for much longer. He slowly pulled away from you, the smack of lips separating and vibrating all over the van. You two were breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes.

“So? How was that for a first kiss?” He asked breathlessly and he could see something in your eyes that he couldn’t quite describe. It was a mixture of emotions, not one in particular, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He was still holding onto your face, waiting on your response.

“It–” You opened your mouth to say something, only to shut it seconds after, and then a smirk appeared on your lips, pulling away from him to sit straight in the passenger seat. “I don’t know Munson, got nothing to compare it to.”

His mouth fell open, a laugh escaping his lips as he poked the side of your body, making a giggle escape your lips, flinching away from him as he kept poking you repeatedly.

Yeah… your laugh was better than any song out there.

Five days.

Five days and you were leaving.

And it’s not like you were going to come back. You weren’t going to in any shape or form.

Eddie was lounging on your couch as you put things in cardboard boxes. Things you wanted to donate since you weren’t going to need them any longer. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart aching and wanting to stop you, to yell at you that you didn’t have to do this, not anymore.

“Okay, I think I’m done for today. You sure you don’t want any of this?” You asked him and he felt as if a knife was stabbed into his throat. He wanted to cry like he had been doing alone at night whenever he went to bed. Sleepless nights were plagued by the thought of not seeing you anymore, of not being able to hug you, of not being able ever to cuddle you like he wanted.

“Yeah, pretty sure.” He didn’t want to sound bitter or angry, but he couldn’t hide it. You didn’t acknowledge it of course, so you shrugged, closing the box and standing up from the floor before heading to your room.

He stared at your open door, needing to hype himself up. If it’s not now, he won’t have the chance to do it again. He needs to kiss you once more, he needs to hold you close, he needs to show his feelings through actions.

So he stood up and slowly walked towards your room. You were cleaning up your closet, looking through your shirts. He watched you move through your room, and he looked over to your desk, seeing the almost completed bucket list. Some were just impossible to complete, like riding a kangaroo, but there was a particular one that he wanted to fulfill, and not because it was on the list.

If this was the only chance he could do it, he would take it. You noticed his presence when you turned around with a shirt on your hand and saw him looking at your notebook. You tilted your head to the side as his fingers trailed one particular line that was yet to be highlighted.

“Eds? What’s wrong?” Your voice held worry as you put the shirt back in the closet and Eddie turned his head up to look at you. He turned to close the door behind him, to face you again, taking a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

“I saw one more thing on the list… a thing I want too.” His voice was small, lacking confidence, filled with nerves, but he needed this. He needed you. He hoped he wasn’t getting this wrong, because ever since that kiss the two of you stole glances from one another, laughter as friends turned into flushed giggles.

“And what is that?” You asked with a frown on your eyebrows, in question. He wrapped an arm around your waist, flushing your body to his, his breath most likely hitting your face as he felt your shoulders move even quicker than before, signaling him you were taking fast breaths.

“Do you trust me on this?” You stared up into his eyes for a full five seconds before slowly nodding at him. He lifted his other hand to cup your face in his palm, and he leaned down to take your lips with his.

Electricity ran through his body, and he wanted to smile, he wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to rip and break the walls, he needed to destroy something, he needed to hug someone, he needed comfort but he also needed the rage.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him as your lips moved together, soon tongues intertwining as the seconds passed, and your breathing turned jagged as you pulled away for some air. Eddie leaned down to kiss your jaw, startling you, to then move downwards towards your neck, planting soft kisses onto your skin.

A gasp escaped your lips at the sudden sensation, new, raw, and Eddie felt you shiver under his touch, but instead, you were gripping his shoulders in order to pull him closer as the hand that was on your waist started sneaking under the hem of your shirt so he could touch your skin.

“Eddie…” It was a partial moan, but he took it as a green light, moving you towards the bed so he could lay you down but before he crawled on top of you he took the chance to take his jacket off, throwing it across the room, not caring where it landed.

If this was going to be the only time to have you like this, he would make sure to make you feel like the most adored person in the world. He will make sure of it. Even as your moans filled the room, he couldn’t help but want to record them, knowing he won’t ever hear them again.

And that line was highlighted in green when you both woke up the next morning.

Make love

He didn’t want to look at you.

He couldn’t.

The sun was shining through your curtains as you walked around the apartment with the small carry-on waiting for you at the front door. The past few days the two of you dipped into the sheets, all day, cooking when necessary only to return to bed.

He really wanted to cry and yell, and he almost left in the middle of the night in order to not see this day. In order to just run away from the fact this was your last hour with him, and you had asked him to take you to the airport. He can ditch you, tell you he wasn’t going to do it, that you could get a cab.

But he couldn’t do it. His heart was ripping out of his chest at every step you took in your apartment, the seconds ticking closer and closer to the departure of your plane. A plane with no return at all. A one way ticket.

He looked around your apartment, and boxes of stuff that you wanted to donate surrounded him, as well as bags of your clothes. You told Eddie that he was the only one in your will. That fact broke him to the core, knowing that you were leaving everything to him, but the only thing he wanted was you, and you were going to leave him.

He didn’t want your pans, your apartment, your cutlery, your game consoles, or TVs. He wanted you, and only you. He didn’t notice that his tears were falling down his face as the lump in his throat became bigger and harder to swallow at every gulp he tried to take.

“Okay, I think I’m–” You stopped on your tracks when you saw his profile, noticing the tears, your eyes widening as you approached him, your hands cupping his cheeks for him to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re leaving me.” He wasn’t going to hold back his feelings anymore. He showed you through his actions, but he never said them out loud, and the least he can do is let you know this.

“What–”

“I love you.” Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open at his confession, but Eddie didn’t stop talking. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and fuck, you need to know how much I fucking want you.”

You were stunned into the ground and that’s when Eddie turned to look at you, only to see tears running down your face as you covered your mouth, taking steps away from him.

“You– You can’t say that to me, not now. Please– Please– not now.” You were choking into your sobs as he stood in front of you, coughing to be able to speak.

“I– I want you to stay… Please, don’t take that flight… I beg of you, please, stay with me…” His lip was trembling as he felt nausea fill his stomach, taking a few steps towards you as the crying finally was heard through the apartment.

“I– I don’t need your pity! I– I am happy I am doing this! You’re lying in order for me to stay, and I’m not going to buy it!” You yelled through your sobs, and Eddie felt his chest ripping open at your thoughts.

“I am not lying! I am in love with you! Why can’t you believe that!?” He was screaming now, trying to get his point across but you also didn’t back down, yelling back to him with the same confusion, with the same anger, with the same sadness.

“Because how can I trust that!? How can I trust you!?” And Eddie grabbed you onto your shoulders, squeezing you tightly in order for you to look at him and not run away. His eyes were on fire as he gazed at you through his tears.

“Trust me just like you trusted me to hold your hair back when you got too drunk and you were in the toilet! Trust me just like you trusted me to teach you how to drive! Trust me just like you trusted me to protect you in your first night club outing! Trust me just like you trusted me when I made love to you!”

And the screaming ceased, eyes locked into one another’s, tears still streaming down, never stopping, heavy breathing trembling against every wall. You were shaking under his touch, your lips trembling as your hands shook on your sides while he still gripped onto your shoulders. You opened your mouth to talk once more, your voice small, broken.

“You… One day you will get tired of me, but you will feel bad for leaving me, so you won’t… I can’t– I can’t chain you like that–” Your voice was breaking his heart, even more than before, and he shook his hair desperately as he let go of your shoulders so he could grab your hands and hold them with his, getting closer to you.

“No, no… I won’t ever get tired of you… Not you, not in a million years…”

“Eds…”

“Please… Please don’t go… Please, trust me.”

You sobbed a gulp of air and you raised in order to give him a soft kiss on the lips. His breathing hitched at it, but kissed you back, dread filling his core, every vein, every blood cell instantly freezing at what the future will hold, of what this kiss meant. You pulled away with a small smile on your face. Small, authentic, yet sad.

“I love you, Eddie… I’m sorry…”

And your flight took off that day.

“Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. Munson!”

Eddie jolted in his seat as he put his wallet down to look up at his group of students. Gregory was raising his hand and Eddie pointed at him so he knew he was acknowledged.

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. What’s wrong Mr. Gill?” He asked and his student asked something about the textbook they were all reading. His college students. He began explaining the paragraph that seemed like a puzzle to students from the book “Down the Rabbit Hole”.

He graduated in Psychology three years ago. He was offered a job as a professor in the same college he graduated from, and he was more than happy to pass his knowledge to other students to help them understand how the brain works, and the many branches that can come out of it after every single situation in life. Traumatic or not.

Once his students went back to reading, he grabbed onto his wallet again, looking inside to see a picture of you and him, completing one of your bucket list’s objectives.

Go to an amusement park and get pictures taken in a photo booth.

He chuckled as he remembered that outing, how you had screamed at your first ride on a roller coaster.

He became friends with Steve once again but was still not fond of the rest of the group. The only reason he got close to Steve again was because he was also a teacher in the same college. He was a professor in physical trauma, so, in their breaks, they would smoke together as they walked through campus.

The bell rang and it was time for him to finally head home after a long day of having four classes in the day. He grabbed his suitcase, hoping no student would stop him on his way out and gladly it never happened. His hair is still the same length, but he is always using a ponytail or a bun on his head.

He has heard rumors that people always gossip about him, asking if he was single, or what was his life like outside college. He shrugged the comments away as they weren’t important at all. He just came to work and that’s it.

He got into his car, a black jeep he saved a year for in order to buy it. He missed the van, but he had to upgrade it once and for all. His van was a little old so replacement parts were a bitch to get. He turned on his car and then started his drive back to his home, a two-story house. It wasn’t big or luxurious, but it was his home.

He sighed in relief as he opened the door, throwing his suitcase on the couch after slamming the door closed. He cracked his neck a few times before taking his blazer off and then his tie, unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt and opening the cuffs at the end of the sleeves. He groaned with satisfaction as he sniffed the air.

He smiled as he walked towards his kitchen, leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, his teeth showing into a massive grin.

“Hi baby.” You smiled widely at him as you took the pan out of the oven, filled with cookies that were freshly baked. He walked towards you, his hand stretching out in order to grab a cookie, only for it to get slapped away by you. “They’re hot!”

“I am strong, I can handle a little bit of burning.” He grinned down at you, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on the lips in greeting. “Were my princesses hungry for cookies?”

“Are you talking to me or…” He chuckled at the pout on your face and he bent down to kiss the big bump on your belly, standing up straight later on, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him.

“Those two are my princesses, you, my love, are my queen.” You rolled your eyes at his antics but you giggled either way. He gave you a smooch on the cheek, making you laugh, trying to push him away. He spotted something on the kitchen counter, pulling away from kissing you and getting the item in his hand.

“Oh! Yeah, Chrissy gifted that! She said–” Eddie laughed as he looked at you and then putting the two pink pacifiers that you can put flavored ice in so they can chew and help with the heat.

“Another gift!? Damn, she really wants to be the godmother of one of our princesses huh.” You pushed onto his shoulder with a pout on your bottom lip.

“Hey, she is going to be the best aunt.” Eddie nodded at that and he really wasn’t angry at Chrissy. You met her after you moved out of your apartment to go to Eddie’s. She was moving in at the same time you were, and you two helped each other in bringing the boxes in.

Yes, your flight took off that day… Without you in it.

You stayed with him, wrapped in his arms as you cried, not being able to stop as your feelings confused you, scared you, your mind a jumbled mess but Eddie held you through it. Eddie wasn’t going to let you go, never, and he promised it, over and over again into your ear, hoping it stuck to your brain.

“Oh no baby, I don’t doubt that.” He smiled at you as you started taking the cookies off the tray, taking care of your hands so that you don’t burn yourself. Eddie just stared at you with adoration in his eyes, as if you held the entire world in your hand, and you did. You are his world. You are everything.

You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow in question, wondering if he was scheming something that you didn’t know about.

“Now, what is going on in that mind of yours Munson?” He found it ironic that you can easily ask that question to him when he wanted to ask that to you many times before. He smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, his hands resting below your bump, holding onto it as he felt his two daughters moving inside of you.

“I just love you Mrs. Munson…” You turned your head to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, before focusing once again on the cookies.

“And I love you.”

After a moment of silence, he pressed a soft kiss on the side of your neck, surprising you, yet a giggle escaped your throat.

“Thank you.” That confused you, turning your head to look at him and he was already smiling fondly at you.

“For what?”

“For trusting me.”

The end.

a/n: this story explores the idea of death, the idea of being ready to receive it with open arms, with a rational head. But it also explores the fact that things get better if you meet the right people. It might not be now, it might not be tomorrow. It might take years for you to do so, and people in your life will come and go.

But there will always be that one person. And that is all you will ever need.

Taglist of people I mentioned this to: @littlesubbyflower @munson-blurbs @andvys

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bbobpul · 1 year

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being with you doesn't feel like drowning — lmk

PAIRING. bff!mark lee x bff!reader SUMMARY. reader tries to confess to mark in hopes that their feeling will disappear once they let it out of their chest. GENRE. angst, unrequited love, best friends to strangers, reunion W/C. 3.4k NOTE. i love boygenius so it's mandatory to listen to cool about it while reading FOR THE FEELS (0.0)!→ my other works

certain people from our youth leave an indelible mark on us, whether they are senior role models, acquaintances who brighten our days, or individuals who meant so much but eventually drifted apart. their presence, guidance, and impact shape our experiences and stay with us long after we part ways, reminding us of the significance of human connections and the lasting effects they have on our lives.

surely one of the saddest experiences but the best stories to tell.

mark lee is undoubtedly an incredibly lovable person. many people who know him would agree wholeheartedly. he embodies kindness and provides a comforting presence that draws people towards him. mark is like a ray of sunshine, approachable and warm.

in my personal experience, he has been a significant source of support during my college journey. his friendly demeanor attracts people, and many individuals wish to befriend him. some are too shy to approach him directly, so they often approach me as a way to connect with him, like a bridge to his vibrant social circle.

when i first entered high school, i had certain expectations of what mark lee might be like based on stereotypical characters from tv shows—cocky and popular. however, i quickly discovered that mark was different. despite any changes that high school brought, he remained the same kid i had grown up with.

i vividly remember the times when he would run to me for support when kids from our neighborhood were being mean to him. he trusted me enough to confide in me when his first crush rejected him, not knowing that i was also on the verge of tears myself. mark lee is someone who is so easy to love, and that's what makes him incredibly difficult to forget.

his genuine and vulnerable nature, his loyalty and trust in our friendship, have left a lasting impression on me. mark's authenticity and ability to connect on a deeper level are what set him apart. despite the ups and downs, he remains a constant presence in my life, a person i hold dear in my heart.

i consider myself incredibly fortunate to have been noticed by mark in a way that felt truly special, surpassing the attention he gave to others he met during high school. it was a privilege that should have brought me immense gratitude, yet i couldn't help but harbor a conflicting desire for something more. in my heart, i battled with feelings of self-doubt and yearning, torn between appreciating the unique connection we shared and longing for a deeper bond that seemed just out of reach.

sitting on the benches near the school gates with my friend donghyuck, i couldn't contain the overwhelming emotions within me any longer. "i really love him, hyuck. so much," i confessed, my voice filled with a mixture of vulnerability and excitement. it was a quiet moment between the two of us, as we had been dismissed early from school due to our lazy professor. as we waited for mark, who had some errands to run, i seized the opportunity to confide in donghyuck, trusting him with my deepest feelings and hoping for some guidance or understanding in return.

his response took me aback. "that sucks, man," he said, his words carrying a sense of sympathy. i stared at him in disbelief, hoping for some encouragement or guidance, but his straightforward suggestion caught me off guard. "just tell him," he continued, his voice laced with conviction. "it probably will disappear once you get your feelings off your chest."

"it won't. i know it won't work," i replied, my voice tinged with a sense of resignation. i recalled my previous attempts to convey my feelings to mark, even if it was in a lighthearted manner, and the lingering affection that persisted throughout the years. graduation was approaching, yet this feeling had taken root long before i even set foot in the halls of our school.

as the weight of my unrequited feelings continued to burden me, i added another layer of complexity to the situation. "i also can't tell him right now," i confessed, a hint of frustration evident in my voice. "he's apparently involved with this girl from stem."

"did he tell you that?" he asked, his voice filled with skepticism.

"no," i replied, realizing that i had simply heard it through the grapevine without any confirmation from mark himself.

"then it's not true," hyuck asserted, his words resonating with a sense of certainty. i looked at him, a glimmer of hope flickering within me.

"you are his best friend, y/n," he continued, his voice gentle yet matter-of-fact. "if he likes someone, you'll be the first one he'll talk to. sadly." his words struck a chord, emphasizing the closeness of my friendship with mark and the trust we shared.

hyuck's words resonated deeply within me, stirring a newfound determination. "try, y/n," he urged, his voice filled with encouragement.

and try, i would. i made up my mind to release the weight of my unspoken emotions, regardless of whether or not mark would reciprocate my feelings. it was no longer about seeking validation or hoping for a specific outcome. instead, it was about freeing myself from the burden of unexpressed affection, allowing my heart to find solace in the act of honesty. i realized that true liberation lay in the courage to let my emotions be known, even if it meant accepting the possibility of unrequited love.

as fate would have it, just as i resolved to confront my feelings and open myself up to vulnerability, the universe seemed to conspire in its own mischievous way. "y/n," a familiar voice called out, capturing my attention. there he was, mark lee, waving at me with an infectious smile adorning his face.

my heart skipped a beat as a mixture of excitement and nervousness coursed through me. it was as if the universe was testing my newfound resolve, presenting me with an opportunity to seize the moment. with a deep breath, i mustered the courage to meet his gaze, ready to embark on a journey that would reveal the truth of my emotions and pave the way for whatever lay ahead.

"hey, man," mark greeted donghyuck with a warm smile before his attention shifted towards me. his eyes locked with mine, and he uttered those words that sent a surge of anticipation through me, "let's go home?"

his invitation caught me off guard, my heart fluttering at the thought of spending more time with him. it's not like this is the first time we are walking home together. without hesitation, i nodded, my own smile mirroring his. "sure, let's go," i replied, unable to conceal the excitement bubbling within me.

as we bid farewell to donghyuck at the school gates, mark and i ventured further into the outside world. the sun gently kissed our faces as we strolled side by side, our footsteps creating a harmonious rhythm. in that moment, mark's words washed over me, his voice filled with a warmth and sincerity that melted my heart.

"let's just walk, hmm?" he suggested, his eyes twinkling with a hint of playfulness. "i didn't see you much today, so i want to spend more time with you." it was a simple request, but it held profound meaning for me. this was the side of mark that had always made me swoon—the one who sought my company, who cherished our moments together. the tenderness in his words enveloped me, igniting a sense of belonging and significance.

as we walked side by side, heading towards home, i couldn't help but wonder if this would be the moment to gather my courage and express what had been weighing on my heart. it was a chance to lay bare my feelings and discover where our paths might converge. with each step, the anticipation grew, filling the air with a mix of hope, apprehension, and the promise of a newfound chapter in our intertwined lives.

as if synchronized by an invisible thread connecting our hearts, the words escaped our lips simultaneously, "i want to tell you something." a moment of lighthearted surprise passed between us before a shared smile graced our faces.

with a gentle nod, i urged mark to speak first, my curiosity piqued and a warmth of anticipation spreading within me. i wanted to hear what he had to say, to immerse myself in his world of thoughts and emotions.

"hmm, i'm sure you already heard about the rumors," my heart sank as mark began to speak, his words hit me like a wave of disconnection, momentarily distancing us. despite my own hopes, i forced myself to listen, desperately clinging to the possibility that he would deny it.

"and before you scold me, i'm sorry, okay?" he interjected, a touch of remorse coloring his words. "i'm sorry for not telling you first. it's just that you've been so busy with your debate stuff. but yes, the rumors are true." his words were filled with a sense of happiness, but inside, i felt a pang of sadness. i wanted to push my own feelings aside, to let him speak and find solace in his words, even if it meant disregarding my own desires and wishes.

in the brief silence that followed mark's confession, my mind raced to process the reality of his words. one, two, three seconds passed as i grappled with a mix of emotions. however, before i could fully retreat into my thoughts, mark's voice broke through the haze, calling my name and snapping me back to reality.

"that's cool, mark," i managed to say, mustering a tone of enthusiasm, despite the conflicting emotions swirling within me. his smile widened, and for a fleeting moment, i allowed myself to believe that i had successfully masked my true feelings. in that instant, his happiness became my focus, setting aside my own desires to ensure his joy remained undisturbed.

"what was it that you wanted to say?" mark inquired, his curiosity urging me to share my thoughts.

"ah," i stammered, desperately searching for words to divert the conversation. "you know, i just wanted to mention that my debate commitments have been overwhelming lately, and i feel like i need some rest." i fabricated an explanation, my mind struggling to conjure up plausible details. but as the words left my lips, my thoughts turned into a blank canvas, drained of any creative energy. mark continued speaking, presumably attempting to uplift my spirits, but his words became distant and muffled as my focus waned.

lost in my own internal turmoil, i unknowingly made my way inside my house, the outside world fading into the background. the weight of my unspoken truth settled heavily upon my shoulders, leaving me to contemplate the consequences of my silence and the disconnection i felt in that moment.

the vibration of my phone jolted me back to reality. retrieving it from my pocket, i discovered a message from mark. the words on the screen were like a lifeline, a gentle reminder of his unwavering support.

from mark

you will do great, i just know. there's nothing you can't do, y/n.

lying on my bed, i attempted to convince myself that everything was okay, that i could handle this situation with composure. it was just a simple crush, i reassured myself, something that could be dismissed and forgotten. i resolved to force myself to let go, to erase the thoughts of him from my mind.

deep down, i yearned for him to kindly leave my thoughts, to release his hold on my heart. with these conflicting emotions swirling within me, i drifted off to sleep that night, whispering to myself that one day, perhaps, i would forget about it, though uncertain if that day would ever truly arrive.

as ten years elapsed, bringing us to the present, the time had come for our high school reunion, an event i had initially considered skipping. donghyuck, however, was relentless in his insistence that i attend. inwardly, i grappled with my own reservations, questioning the root of my hesitation. after all, they were just old friends, right? well, except for mark. but it had been a decade since we last saw each other, and i reminded myself that everything had changed. including my feelings.

with a deep breath, i resolved to face the reunion head-on. it was an opportunity to reconnect with familiar faces and witness the transformations that time had wrought upon us all. i steeled myself, ready to navigate the evening with a newfound sense of confidence, curious to see how the passage of years had molded us into the individuals we had become. and in the back of my mind, a flicker of anticipation remained, wondering what the encounter with mark, the person who once held my heart, would bring.

as i arrived at the reunion, i was greeted by the familiar voice of donghyuck. a smile crossed my lips as i took in his playful remark. "y/n!" he exclaimed, his playful tone resonating in the air. "wow, you smell successful." it was a lighthearted comment, one that instantly brought back a flood of memories and reminded me of the bond we shared. i couldn't deny that i missed him, our friendship, and the easy banter we once had.

donghyuck then reminded me of the gathering, informing me that everyone was already seated and eagerly awaiting our arrival. it was a gentle nudge to set aside any remaining hesitations and fully embrace the moment. with a renewed sense of excitement, i followed donghyuck, ready to reunite with old friends and embark on a journey of reminiscence and rediscovery.

amidst the flurry of greetings from both familiar and unfamiliar faces, a part of me remained focused on one person. as i exchanged pleasantries and engaged in small talk, my heart quietly longed for the presence of that one individual. amongst the laughter and conversations that filled the room, i found myself eagerly awaiting the moment when our paths would cross once again.

time seemed to stretch as i scanned the room, searching for that familiar face that held so much significance in my life. each passing moment heightened the anticipation, the longing growing stronger with every passing second. it was as if the reunion revolved around the hope of reconnecting with this particular person, and i couldn't deny the depth of emotion that coursed through me.

in the midst of the gathering, surrounded by old memories and new conversations, i patiently held onto the belief that this encounter held the potential to reignite a flame that had flickered in my heart for years.

"hey, y/n." the sound of my name, uttered in a familiar voice, sent a shiver down my spine. i turned around, my heart racing, and there he was—the man i had loved for years and spent a decade trying to forget. as my gaze met his, i couldn't help but notice the changes that time had wrought upon him. he exuded a sense of maturity, yet his smile remained as captivating as ever, instantly evoking memories of our shared youth.

in that moment, a flood of emotions washed over me, overwhelming yet undeniably familiar. it was as if time stood still, and the weight of our past connection resurfaced with an undeniable intensity. the years apart seemed to fade away as we stood face to face, and i found myself drawn back to a time when his presence had filled my world with warmth and excitement.

as we locked eyes, an unspoken language passed between us, encapsulating a history of shared experiences and unspoken feelings. the passage of time had only deepened the significance of our connection, and in that instant, i couldn't help but wonder if the lingering embers of our past love had the potential to reignite into something more.

"it's nice to see you again," he said, his words carrying a hint of longing, as if he had missed me deeply. the sincerity in his voice echoed through my being, reigniting the familiarity of our connection.

"wanna catch up outside?" he asked, his eyes flickering towards the serene seaside just beyond the venue, as if beckoning us to a place where we could find solace in each other's company.

a surge of anticipation swept over me, my heart yearning for a chance to reconnect and unravel the mysteries of the past decade. "mark, it's so nice to see you here," i replied, a genuine smile playing on my lips. "sure, let's go."

with each step we took towards the peaceful seaside, it felt as if we were embarking on a journey to rediscover the unspoken words and unfulfilled promises of our youth. the possibilities lay open before us, as the waves whispered tales of past memories and the sea breeze carried the promise of a shared future.

"you suddenly disappeared after we graduated, why is that?" he asked

"i'm sorry, mark. something personal came up that we had to move." i answered and then silence engulfed us.

"how have you been?" i asked, my voice filled with genuine curiosity and a touch of apprehension. his response held the power to shape the course of our conversation, and i braced myself for the unexpected.

a faint smile graced his lips, revealing a glimmer of excitement and anticipation. it was a smile reminiscent of a child eager to share a significant achievement with their parents—a smile that hinted at something significant he wanted to convey. i couldn't help but notice the contrast between his current demeanor and the person i was ten years ago. back then, i would have approached this moment with unguarded optimism, but the passage of time had taught me to temper my expectations, shielding myself from potential hurt.

deep down, i acknowledged that there was a part of me prepared for disappointment, a defense mechanism against the potential pain that might follow. however, despite the self-imposed caution, i couldn't deny the flicker of hope that ignited within me, yearning for a connection that transcended the confines of time.

"i'm getting married in december," he said, his words cutting through the air with a bittersweet tone. his smile remained, but it was now tinged with a mixture of joy and sadness. "i'm so glad to see you today, y/n. you could be a part of my big day."

those words hit me like a wave, crashing against the fragile walls i had built to protect myself. the shards of my shattered heart from ten years ago seemed to reassemble, piercing me once more. the pain i thought i had long left behind resurfaced with an intensity i never anticipated.

the conflicting emotions within me waged a silent battle. on one hand, i wanted to be genuinely happy for him, to embrace the joy of his upcoming union. but on the other, a deep ache echoed within my soul, a longing for a different outcome, for a future where our paths intertwined.

as i absorbed the weight of his announcement, i mustered a smile, my voice trembling slightly. "congratulations, mark. i'm truly honored that you would consider me to be a part of your special day." behind my polite words, i hid the remnants of a broken heart, the realization that the pain of unrequited love had found its way back to me once again.

"and it's really nice to see how good you're doing. how far you've come. i am so proud of you, mark."

a heavy sigh escaped my lips as i grappled with the weight of my emotions. in that moment, i yearned to be selfish, to put my own desires and feelings first. but deep down, i knew the truth—i never had any rights to claim. i had been living in the shadows of unrequited love, forever playing the role of the understanding friend, while my heart silently yearned for something more.

method acting had become my expertise, allowing me to wear a mask of indifference, concealing the turmoil that raged within me. i mastered the art of pretending, adept at hiding the fact that being in his presence felt like a constant struggle to keep my head above water. i told him it was nice to see how well he was doing, but beneath the surface, the truth lingered, like an unspoken ache.

in the depths of my soul, i acknowledged the bitterness that threatened to consume me. it was a bitter truth that whispered in the recesses of my mind—i still loved him, and witnessing his happiness with someone else was a constant reminder of what i could never have. but i couldn't allow those feelings to tarnish the moments we shared, so i continued to play the role of the supportive friend, my true emotions concealed beneath the facade.

#Spotify #yo0nzino #mark lee x reader #mark lee imagines #nct dream angst #nct 127 x reader #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct scenarios #nct mark #nct 127 imagines #mark lee scenarios #mark lee angst #mark lee #nct drabbles

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isbergillustration · 2 years

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Getting friendly :) Ft. the chapter from last week because i have yet to start the one due tomorrow;

«What’s your name?»

It’s taken John months to ask, first because it didn’t occur to him, later because he felt awkward about not doing so sooner.

NAME?

«Yeah, your name. Mine's John.»

Some of the creature's eyes narrow.

JOHN

«Yeah, I’m John. My name is John. And what is your name?»

JOHN

John sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, nails scraping his scalp. It was getting too long.

«Okay. Do you want to be John too?»

JOHN

It seemed this was as far as he was going to get.

«That’s ten fifteen, please. I- ten fifteen. No, you don’t have to- okay, then. Thank you, have a good night.»

The old lady who looked at him with a suspicion that felt unearned left, the bell over the door sounding its muted alarm. John leaned against the counter. The light above him was bright, too bright, and he could not see anything beyond the reflected shelves beyond the windows. Nothing existed outside this tiny shop, and the very occasional customer. Outside it was dark. The sun would not rise until hours after his shift ended, by which time he would be dead to the world.

The shop was a small one, only the sorts of products for which one might run down the street, having forgotten them earlier. Most of his customers were other late workers, or students staying up too late to study. They had an entire branded fridge dedicated to energy drinks.

The bell chimed, low but still painfully pitched, and he looked at the door. It had not moved. Instead, when he turned back, he saw the thing. The creature. John Junior? Or senior, if it was older than him. Probably it had to be? The idea that it was not felt somehow upsetting to him, as if it conferred onto him some sort of responsibility.

It barely even startled him now, when it appeared. But. But he had not seen it here before. He glanced at the camera. So did nearly twenty eyes.

«What are you doing here?» he hissed, though the camera did not record sound.

He angled himself so as not to look as if he were speaking. Probably no one would ever check this tape, and he thought they were deleted automatically after a while, but he couldn’t be sure. Whether or not the thing had been caught on film it would be too late to do anything about it now. Still, he felt his heart beat in his wrists.

Oh. Oh unless it was here to protect him again. Maybe the shop was about to be robbed? People would definitely check the tape then. Shit. He looked around. Could he barricade the door? No. Someone sufficiently determined would find their way in, and he was not about to pay for any damages or losses. He didn’t make enough here for that. He-

The bell chimed, and was this time followed by a gust of cool air. Then, an almost familiar face.

«River?»

She gave him a tired smile. It was, after all, nearing four am, though time seemed less real in his fluorescently bright bubble. Her dark hair was pulled back, and she had a long scarf wrapped several times around her. She looked around.

«Huh. I thought I saw someone in here with you?»

He glanced around. The thing was gone.

«Nope, just me.»

He sounded less confident than he wanted to. The back of his neck prickled.

«You all right? Bit far from home, aren’t you?»

They were half an hour's tram ride from the apartment building.

«Staying at my girlfriend’s.»

She wandered around the shelves, occasionally disappearing from view, picking up a couple of things before dumping them on the counter. Instant noodles, a bag of coffee, some pain killers.

«Wild night of romance?» he asked, scanning her items and giving her his employee discount.

She laughed, but it sounded hollow. As he bent down to get her a bag he noticed gold dust across the back of his hand. It did not come off when he brushed it. He pulled his sleeve down.

«No. Helping Max look for a new job.»

«Shit,» said John, «she get fired?»

«Something like that. Stressful as hell.»

«Oh, yeah, I get that. Hope she finds something.»

«Me too. Rent’s bad in this part of town.»

She took the bag with a quick thank you, and turned.

«Oh, hey, you’ve got- looks like a feather in your scarf?»

He had vague memories of being a child and getting told off by his dad for picking up stray feathers. Something about parasites. He only retained the vague idea that touching them was bad.

«What? Oh- again.»

She gingerly picked it free and leaned over the counter to drop it into the bin.

«Again?»

«I fed some birds a couple of times and now I think they’re following me.»

«Oh,» he said, «yeah. I’ve heard they do that I think. Crows and things. Looks like that. Well, okay, well I’ll see you.»

She called goodbye and disappeared into the void of the outside. A few browning leaves had drifted in through the door, and they crunched without anything seeming to have stepped on them.

The stain would not come off. He scrubbed it in the sink at work, then at home, then doused his hand in hand sanitiser. Nothing. Not even any gold flakes in the sink. What the fuck? The implications were bad. Some permanent stain from his connection to the creature? No. No it had to be like that kind of persistent paint or ink, the stuff that stained your skin for days before wearing off. Something like that, it had to be. It had to be.

«Where are you,» he demanded of thin air, «when I need you to fucking answer me?»

Not there, it seemed.

It took him ages trying to fall asleep. It always did, these days, but this morning felt particularly bad. At last as the sun started to creep in through allegedly black out curtains he drifted off.

The next day it was still there. He scrubbed until his skin hurt, and then exfoliated for good measure, but it made no difference. In the end he stuck a plaster over it. That ought to do until it went away. Ought to hide it.

Later that afternoon he thought about why hiding it felt so important to him. If it was real, and everything pointed to it being real, then having someone else confirm it would be an immense relief. It would mean he wasn’t crazy, wasn’t talking to himself. But then, the possibility of it being all in his head was a sort of lifeline of hope, too. It meant he didn’t quite have to adjust his understanding of the world and reality yet.

He had considered telling River. They weren’t very close friends, but she seemed receptive to this sort of thing. She had shown him her collection of crystals and threatened to read his fortune in tarot cards. He didn’t know, though, how much was affectation and aesthetics and how much was true belief. And proof was hard. He had taken a photo of the creature, early on, but it didn’t photograph well, and the picture had gone missing a short time later. He kept losing track of things lately.

The cleanliness of his apartment had begun to decline some time ago. Not from intentional neglect, but because John would begin to vacuum the floor, full of good intentions, and suddenly realise he had been sitting on the floor, back against the sofa, staring at his phone, the vacuum abandoned halfway through the task. A third of his laundry would make it into a closet, the rest would lie unfolded on a chair. Mugs of crusty dried coffee made it as far as the counter next to the sink, but no further. Everything was too much, was the thing. And it simply kept growing.

John went out into the woods. He was not an outdoorsy person, but he had the vague idea that looking at trees was meant to be good for you, and therapy waitlists were six months long. He caught a bus, and took it as far out of town as the local routes would go, up into the hills surrounding the city on three sides. If there were fewer trees he would have had a great view of the ocean, but thick pines made the path as dark and enclosed as the alleys in the city.

The air was fresh, too fresh, cold and stinging and making his eyes run. In his pockets were a couple of müesli bars and a thermos full of coffee which would, if history was any judge, imbue the coffee with an unsubtle metallic flavour. He was as prepared as he could get, he thought, until he within five minutes of leaving the bus stop accidentally stepped in an ankle high puddle with his very much not waterproof sneaker. He stared down at his wet foot with helpless resignation.

The woods were cold, but the path went uphill, and soon he was that combination of clammy and sweaty and cold which usually kept him away from this sort of activity. It was too late in the year for insects. This, at least, was a mercy. It was oddly quiet out here. Usually he would hear birds he could not identify, the scurrying of squirrels or other little critters in the dead leaves by the side of the path, but there was nothing. Nothing yet.

At the top of a hill, where there was something like a clearing, he took a rest. More of the cloud filtered grey light managed to reach the ground here, and a tree had been felled and laid across one side to serve as a sort of bench. By the time he had got his coffee poured into the lid mug, the angel thing was sitting next to him. Of course it was. Its hands were placed in its lap, and though it still appeared not to have a body, just a barely not hollow pliable exoskeleton of gold, it managed to sit awkwardly.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

It did not answer. Its head, or hood, or whatever it was which had the eyes, was turned up to the bright grey skies. On impulse, John leaned against the thing, and found it to be surprisingly soft.

JOHN

“Yeah?”

SAFE

“Good to know.”

They stayed like that for a while, and John managed not to think about what was happening. Just that he was as comfortable as you get outside in the woods, and how the coffee might be giving him some sort of metal poisoning. After a little while, he felt a hand on his shoulder. The thing had hands the colour and feel of a bog body or mummy. Hardened skin like bark tight around the bone. If anything it had could be described as bone or skin at all. He wondered idly whether it would kill him if he painted its hard blackened nails sparkly gold to match.

#horror art #acrylic painting #illustration #artists on tumblr #guardian angel #my art #my writing #if you are a new follower this is chapter five or six the others can be found by scrolling back on my blog

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smiledentalandimplantcentre · 1 month

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mittaldentalclinic · 2 months

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stuckinmindstudent · 8 months

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Why I Like Him (part. 2)

So, in the last post i've told you how i become in one event committees with him. I remember when the meeting was held the first time, he dressed so well like someone who comes straight out from korean drama. My first thought is, "wow, he's so handsome" AHAHAHA. At that time i see him as someone who's good looking, but not had any romantic interest toward him. i really liked his fashion style. I think i never converse with him more than one-two words in the further meetings. He's also the type who's not talking too much. In the meeting, he always focused writing notes rather than participating. Months after that, my friends (including him) and i was going to some orphanages in our town, because we planned to hold a fellowship with them. At that time, we converse more than usual, about so many topics. But a senior of mine at that time talk to him "Mrs. A want to introduce you to someone she know. She's also a doctor, you know". Oh i forgot to tell you. At that time, he's already graduated from college and was undergoing his co-ass. And he replied to that question "yeah, i'm not looking for just a doctor". Idk why but i feel the meaning of his statement is that he's also want a doctor for his partner. Well, i'm not qualified :')

Later at night, he texted me, yeah just some organization related stuff. But after that, our conversation got a little more friendly. He joked and used emojis!!! It's so not like him. I always saw him as a stiff, cold person, so his texts made me think he's unexpectedly funny. Maybe that was the start. After that, whenever i got the chance to meet him, i always try to converse with him, exchanging silly jokes. When the event is held, around July, i've already finish my final project in college back then and was awaiting my graduation ceremony. At that time, i think i've started to like him, but i'm in the denial mode AHAHA.

We talk a lot of course about the event because there were so many things to be prepared and done. Every time i talk to him, i feel really happy but also at the same time convincing myself that i don't really like him. He's just nice to talk to. Our event venue and accommodation was one kilometer apart. One time, the cars already full of people, but there will be two people left who hasn't got a seat. And he talked to me "let's just go walk with me". After trying so hard to deny my feeling, i felt butterfly in my stomach when he say it AAAAAA. We didn't walk tho, because it turned out that there were 5 people left, so there's one car who pick us up to the accommodation. I always imagining what if we really walk together that night. What will we talk about, will it be awkward or fun? I never got the chance to know.

In the fourth day of the event, we argue about something, i think we both joking but i really was afraid that he was angry. I avoid him but i watch him from afar. Later at night, he texted me, ask me to bring his bag from the venue to the accommodation, because he got something to do. After i confirm that he's not actually angry, i feel so relieved, i was smiling. And i talk in my mind "Oh my God, what will i do? i think i fall for him".

The next day, and also the last day of the event, and also the last day i will met him (because after that i will go back to my hometown:')), i try to be near him, talk to him, joke with him, whenever i got the chance because i know i will never meet him again after that. Even after the event was finished, i try to get him to go with other committees to buy some ice, even though i know he's not a social type. I just want to talk to him longer. I even sit next to him. After i go home, i really feel sad because i will never meet him again.

The last time i like someone maybe has been 5 years ago, or longer. I already forget how it feels to fall in love, until i meet him. But life is so cruel. Why, just WHYY i realize i like someone, in the last day of my college time, when i possibly will not meet him again? Why we don't meet sooner? If he was in the same college with me, the same organization, lots of possible events we can know each other, why i just know him in my last year of college?

Hufft i'm sad. People say there's no such things as meeting the right person in the wrong time, they're just wrong people then. But, i don't want him to be the wrong person, i want him to be the one, AAAAAA i will continue this because i'm so sad.

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drdeepikasclinic · 9 months

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Your Trusted General Physician in Gurgaon: Dr. Deepika Kaushik at Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic Gurugram - Your Health Partner

In the fast-paced city of Gurgaon, prioritizing your family's health is paramount. Meet Dr. Deepika Kaushik, your trusted general physician at Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic Gurugram. This blog unfolds the commitment and expertise of Dr. Deepika, ensuring comprehensive healthcare for you and your loved ones.

Your Neighborhood General Physician:

Dr. Deepika Kaushik brings a wealth of experience and a compassionate approach to general healthcare at Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic Gurugram. As your neighborhood General Physician in Gurugram , she is dedicated to providing personalized care for individuals and families in Gurgaon.

Comprehensive Healthcare Services:

At Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic Gurugram, comprehensive healthcare is the cornerstone. Dr. Deepika Kaushik offers a range of general medical services, addressing common illnesses, routine check-ups, preventive care, and health maintenance. Her approach is holistic, ensuring that each patient receives individualized attention for their unique health needs.

Convenience and Accessibility:

Situated in Gurgaon, Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic provides convenience and accessibility for residents seeking expert healthcare services. Dr. Deepika Kaushik's clinic is designed to be a welcoming and patient-friendly space, fostering an environment where individuals feel comfortable discussing their health concerns.

Personalized Care for Every Family Member:

Dr. Deepika understands the diverse health needs of families. Whether it's pediatric care, adult health, or senior wellness, her personalized approach ensures that every family member receives the attention and care they deserve. Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic is indeed a one-stop destination for your family's health and well-being.

Preventive Health Measures:

Preventive care is a key focus at Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic Gurugram. Dr. Deepika Kaushik emphasizes the importance of regular health check-ups, vaccinations, and lifestyle management to prevent illnesses and maintain optimal health for her patients.

Modern Facilities and Advanced Diagnostics:

Equipped with modern facilities and advanced diagnostic tools, Dr. Deepika's clinic in Gurugram ensures that patients receive accurate and timely assessments of their health. This commitment to technology enhances the quality of healthcare services provided at the clinic.

Patient-Centric Approach:

Dr. Deepika Kaushik's patient-centric approach sets her apart as a general physician. She takes the time to listen to her patients, understand their concerns, and involve them in their healthcare decisions. This personalized and empathetic approach fosters trust and long-term relationships with the families under her care.

Positive Patient Testimonials:

The positive testimonials from patients at Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic Gurugram speak volumes about the quality of care provided. Patients appreciate Dr. Deepika Kaushik's thoroughness, genuine concern for their well-being, and the positive impact her medical expertise has had on their lives.

Conclusion:

For families in Gurgaon seeking a reliable General physician near you, Dr. Deepika Kaushik at Dr. Deepika's Complete Family Clinic Gurugram is your dedicated healthcare partner. With a commitment to comprehensive healthcare, personalized attention, and a patient-centric approach, Dr. Deepika ensures that your family's health is in capable and caring hands. Experience the difference of having Dr. Deepika Kaushik as your General physician in Gurgaon – providing healthcare with a compassionate touch.

🌐 - http://www.drdeepikasclinic.com/

☎️ 0124 4388 099

📱 9910033190

🏥 - South City II, Sector 49, Gurugram, Haryana

Connect with me on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/87388032/ 💼

Like and follow my page on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drdeepikasclinic 👍

Follow me on Twitter - https://twitter.com/deepika_clinic 🐦

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sithlich · 9 months

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@barkonthedancefloor Lily has an interesting life story and I know so many fun facts and quirks about her I'm going to write about it here because she is my friend and she makes me happy.

The youngest Lily could be is 19 years old. I'm 30, her owner (my bff) is 32. We met when we were in high school (not Lily she did not go to high school) so about 2008-2009. She is bff's cat who he met on his then gf's family's farm. gf's family inherited her from their grandparents who swore she has papers and a registered breed but never saw the papers (might be BS). Lily jumped off the shed roof to tackle and kill a squirrel and bff watched a few yards away and fell in love. His gf's brother kicked Lily out of the house for peeing. This extremely young, previously kittypet was now a barncat. Bff got to pet her a couple times but Lily was distant and not really friendly with people.

(Lily 2020)

Bff and gfs family watched Lily deliver some barnkittens, who were missing and never found. Gfs family SWEARS Lily ate them. Few months go by. Icy cold weather hits the upper Peninsula. Way below freezing. Gfs family don't really do anything with their barncats apparently. Bff thinks of Lily and goes to his gfs house that evening and catches this downtrodden former kittypet-now rowdy independent barncat, gets a ride home (16 year old passenger princess lol) and begs his dad to let him keep Lily there. Dad relents and says yes.

Bffs dad already has 3 cats though. Very sweet things mostly but very strong personalities, no respect for a Lady's personal space. It's like Greta Garbo living with the 3 Stooges. Lily spends all of her time under bffs bed or glued to him. Lily quickly becomes very affectionate with bff. This is very easy to anthropomorphise into "gratefulness" or "love" but he certainly loved her from the start. Even though he didn't really have control over everything in the house as one teenager in a house of 3+ people bff did everything he could to baby and bond with this cat. Bff shortly got to decide where he lived fulltime, being that bff's parents were divorced. Bff had not planned for this. Bff went to live with his mom, and she said "no cat, my boyfriends allergic." Bff experiences deep woe but needs the stability of his mom.

(Squirrel the dog and Lily synchronized, 2022)

Bff's mom breaks up with the guy and bff gets a job at burger king! When bff is seventeen he is allowed to bring Lily to his mom's house! Joyful reunion. Lily realizes that sometimes I come over and sleep in Bffs bed. Lily's response to this was initial coldness, and a piss on the blanket to wake us up that night. 😑 But we became fast friends once we spent more time together. I had never been friends with a cat since my family's childhood cat Bob. He was a fat siamese which left us when I was the age of 3. Every other cat I attempted to befriend seemed like an alien intent on scratching the shit out of my arms legs and face. (I was a child and probably mostly interacting with cats who didn't like strangers.) Lily mostly enjoyed sitting near you, accepting gentle neck scratches, and squeaking sweetly. Lily has a scratchy 'cre-e-ek!' as a senior kitty, when she was younger her voice was more resonant, even lilting and melodic. "Bmraa-eh?" The platonic ideal of a meow. She would ingratiate herself by stretching up to sniff your mouth in an amusing imitation of a kiss. Lily would wrap her tail around one's leg and blink up at you. Once she decided you were safe, Lily was a very affectionate friend.

(Lily climbs into bffs lap after he has fallen asleep in a kitchen chair. He is exhausted as he has worked late, but Lily MUST sit on him and sponge affection from him. She misses him desperately when they must be apart. 2016)

Lily has come with us through 7 moves. Lily comforted both of us when bff and I broke up and became just-friends-but-still-roommates. (Bff's nickname in my phone is "😗EXIE🤓.") Lily watched us flop at opening a small business. Lily has helped BFF write every song he's ever written, purring on his lap or shoulder, on top of his desk knocking all the stuff off it. She loves nighttime-only car-rides. Lily relaxes, flops down and purrs when BFF plays his guitar softly and sings for her. Lily is VERY interested in human food right now. Lily Loves her new Senior Girl Catfood. Lily wakes bff up by biting his big toe with her incisors AS HARD AS SHE CAN. Lily still enjoys knocking her water bowl over so she can watch the water move (ambivalent about fancy cat fountains).

(Myself and lily 2022)

I am writing this partly because I have reflected with my friends about her mortality recently. Making plans for "what if," yknow. I am high and I love my cat very very much. Lily is the kind of creature you meet once every lifetime, I know I'll never meet another like her. I cherished our time together and feel lucky that my life intersected with hers. Lily has brought so much comfort, companionship, consolement, wisdom, amusement, inspiration, charity and serendipity to my own, and countless others lives.

#lily the cat #dates on photos are approximate #i am high

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thegoldenestatesworld · 1 year

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Find Your Ideal Retirement Apartments By The Golden Estate

Looking for a comfortable and luxurious retirement apartment near me Look no further than The Golden Estate! Our retirement communities are designed to provide seniors with the perfect blend of comfort, convenience, and independence. With a variety of spacious floor plans and top-notch amenities, you can rest assured that you'll be living in style. Plus, our friendly staff is always on hand to provide support and assistance whenever you need it. So why wait? Contact us today to schedule a tour and see why The Golden Estate is the perfect place to call home in your golden years.

#retirement_apartments_near_me #the_golden_estate

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thebarefootcajun · 2 years

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The Mini Coopers

@ a senior retirement center this week spending time with my in-laws whom I adore

Mom is 95, Dad will be 95 in November

Come to realize how brilliant walkers are

Everywhere in this facility where the average age is 90,

These seniors are movers and shakers

Mom leads a book club @ 95 plus, she’s a voracious reader, always a book in hand or near her person

She’s one of the last greats who refuses to adapt to social media and any type of technology other than an old flip top phone used only when she needs a ride back from her weekly hair appointment

Her life is led by conversation, writing letters, sitting and thinking, praying and meditation, and reading anything she can get her hands on: novels, magazines, newspapers, the Bible, mission magazines

She watches two telephone shows: The Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, oops, and The Young and the Restless, also listens to preaching on the Moody Bible Radio Channel out of Chicago

Is is any wonder she’s still living and vibrant @ 95 plus

Mom and Dad have always been church planters, in addition to their regular day jobs, and they still attend the last one they helped start

Still moving, but with some mobility issues, Dad has two, not one walker

Next time you collide with one of these mini coopers, please be patient

They’re the legs of seniors who are enjoying the winter of their lives after laboring for years at their life’s work

I’m a senior with lots of people in my life, an intergenerational entourage: babies, children, teens, young adults, and the list goes on

It’s the beauty of L’anse Faquetaigue, Louisiana, community living

The L’anse is a senior loving friendly community

Back to the walkers, the mini coopers - as seniors leave their apartments they take with them various sundry items that might be needed: knitting, duck food, snacks, reading material just to name a few, stored in their minis

Walkers can be very stylish, too, with added decor to suit the taste of their drivers

I can usually match the walker to the person; it’s aligned with their character

I’m thankful for walkers, the machines

Without them we’d have less seniors, brilliant, smart, gifted, caring people living collectively in active, engaging communities and walking

Getting old, myself, this author writing this mini essay on walkers thinks aging is a beautiful aspect of living

Hell, I look the same, like I have most of my life, hippy-ish!

Barefoot 🦶 Cajun, living and writing on the prairie and wherever life might lead me

Tuesday

10:30 a.m.

March 21, 2023

🦶

#aging #seniors #older #senior centers #essay on aging #walkers as independence #miraculous machine for seniors

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drsushmadikhit · 2 years

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Dr Sushma Dikhit Providing Compassionate Care As The Best Lady Doctor Near Me in Indirapuram

As a woman, taking care of your reproductive health is essential for your overall well-being. Whether you're planning for a pregnancy or facing gynecological or infertility problems, finding the best lady doctor near you is crucial for receiving quality care. In Indirapuram, Dr Sushma Dikhit is the name that comes to mind when looking for compassionate care and expertise in women's health.

Best Lady Doctor In Indirapuram Ghaziabad

Dr Sushma Dikhit has vast experience in the field of obstetrics, gynecology, and infertility since 1982. Over the years, she has gained an excellent reputation for her efficient and knowledgeable approach to carrying out all diagnostic, medical, and operative procedures. She has worked both in India and abroad, gaining vast experience in handling complex cases with the utmost care.

As a senior consultant and director of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Cloudnine Hospital in Patparganj, Delhi, Dr Dikhit is dedicated to the care of mothers, children, and infertility issues. She is proficient in carrying out all diagnostic, medical, and operative procedures and is well-versed in resolving a wide range of obstetric, gynecological, and infertility problems. Her clinic is equipped with state-of-the-art technology and modern gadgets for the comprehensive care of her patients. The thing that set Dr Sushma Dikhit apart from others is her focus on providing comprehensive care to her patients. Her clinic is equipped with modern gadgets and equipment to ensure the best care for her clients. Her work motto is to provide a human touch with empathy and good care, which is evident in the way she treats her patients.

Consult With Dr. Sushma Dikhit

Patients frequently visit Dr Sushma Dikhit for concerns like pregnancy, maternity, and gynecology consultations and treatments. Her expertise in infertility and IVF services is also well-known, and she is a specialist in minimally invasive surgery, fibroids, menopause, irregular periods, vaginal discharge, normal and cesarean delivery, high-risk pregnancy, sexual issues, cancer screening, laparoscopic surgery, polycystic ovary, PAP smear, abortion, and termination of pregnancy. Dr Sushma Dikhit is presently working as a senior consultant and director of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Cloudnine Hospital Patparganj Delhi. The hospital is dedicated to mother, child, and infertility care, and under her leadership, the hospital has seen tremendous growth in delivering quality care to patients. Before joining Cloudnine Hospital, Dr Sushma Dikhit worked as a senior consultant, director, and head of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Max Hospital Vaishali. She has attended numerous conferences and workshops to keep her knowledge up to date and has contributed to society by giving lectures and writing articles in books. If you're searching for the best lady doctor near you in Indirapuram, Dr Sushma Dikhit should be your go-to choice. Her experience, expertise, and compassionate approach to patient care make her stand out from others. Patients appreciate her warmth, friendliness, and empathy, which help ease the anxiety and stress that often comes with women's health issues. Dr Sushma Dikhit's clinic is located in Indirapuram, providing easy access to women living in the vicinity. The clinic is equipped with state-of-the-art technology, allowing her to provide the latest and most innovative treatments to her patients. Patients can also expect a comfortable and safe environment, with an emphasis on privacy and confidentiality. Dr Sushma Dikhit is undoubtedly the Best Lady Doctor Near Me in Indirapuram for all your obstetric, gynecological, and infertility concerns. Her extensive experience, compassionate care, and comprehensive approach make her the ideal choice for women seeking quality care. She is committed to providing the best care to her patients, ensuring that they have a healthy and fulfilling life.

#bestladydoctor #bestladydoctorinindirapuram #bestladydoctornearme

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martincwhitney · 2 years

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The Red Lion

I met Dave at The Red Lion, one of our old haunts from the time we worked together twenty-two years before. My memory of that time was not great because, to be honest, it was pretty boring. I was an IT contractor and Dave was not exactly my boss, but a senior employee of the client with a supervisory role over my job. So far, so dull. However, fortunately for me, Dave was a decent guy and fun to be with. We went out drinking fairly regularly after work. He was into rock music and football and knew how to have a laugh. We weren’t best mates or anything but more than just work colleagues. There was some mutual respect there. He could be a bit difficult sometimes at work. A bit of a blocker if he didn’t agree with something, a stubborn bugger in fact, but we got on fine almost all the time, and the pub was another matter entirely. Dave was always good with a beer in hand. We never discussed work down the pub, it was taboo, apart from bitching about the bosses of course. He was a bit older than me and maybe a bit wiser, certainly wiser about the company we worked for. Anyway, I was looking forward to meeting him again after all this time. It would be fun. We would have a laugh.

The Red Lion was an old-fashioned pub. You know, loads of dark wood panelling, booths down one wall and a long bar with stools. Back in the day, the air would have been thick with smoke and the ceiling was still nicotine-yellow, even though nobody could have smoked in there for years.

Dave was there ahead of me. I saw him right away in a booth near the door, half a glass of bitter in front of him. He smiled when he saw me.

He looked like shit.

I smiled back, badly, hoping my horror didn’t show while knowing it must be obvious.

‘Hello, mate,’ I offered him my hand. I was glad he didn’t try to get up and greet me. His hand was thin, dry and cool. His eyes were grey ringed and sunken in his pale face. I slid into the booth opposite him, unable to think of anything to say. My mind was frozen blank.

‘How are you, John?’ His voice was as thin as his face. ‘Keeping well?’

‘Yes, thanks,’ I nodded like an idiot. I should have asked how he was, the obvious reflex question, but I stopped myself and the question hung in the air between us like a glass wall of silence. I didn’t ask because I knew the answer would be bad and I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to get away from this horrible situation and was disgusted with myself. I was appalled by my reaction. I needed to get away for a second to collect myself. I needed a drink. ‘I’ll get a drink,’ I slid out of the booth. ‘Want another?’

Dave shook his bald head very slightly and gently as if his skinny neck might break so he had to be careful. I hurried to the bar feeling clumsy. The pub wasn’t busy, and the middle-aged barmaid served me immediately. She smiled a welcome and I ordered a pint of London Pride. As she was pulling it she nodded her bottle-blond head towards Dave and looked me in the eye, lips pursed and painted eyebrow raised. Her unspoken question was obvious—Is he alright? She seemed a friendly sort and I liked her for taking an interest in people. I was grateful for her concern and humanity, but all I could do was shrug with a rueful smile. I felt inadequate, somehow a lesser human than her. I needed to get a grip.

‘There you go, love,’ she said, passing my pint. ‘Need anything else?’

‘No, thanks,’ I gave her a fiver.

‘Well if you do just shout,’ she said with another nod towards Dave.

‘Yes, I will, thank you.’

As soon as I sat down Dave answered the obvious question before I had a chance to pluck up the courage and ask it.

’Prostate cancer. Inoperable.’

‘Jesus. Mate.’

‘It’s okay.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘It’s okay,’ he made a smile.

I took a long pull of beer, blinking hard.

‘I’ve got a month, maybe six weeks.’

‘Jesus.’

‘Yeah.’

We sat in silence for a few minutes which felt like a few hours. I looked at my beer until he cleared his throat. I looked up then but couldn’t help my eyes flicking away from his face almost immediately. I couldn’t bare to look at his pale, big-eyed, hollow-cheeked face. I stared hard out the window at the crowded street and then over to the bar where the barmaid was serving a young couple white wine. She looked so alive and happy. She was smiling like she was proud of the youngsters for being so grown-up as to come in here and order wine rather than cokes or alcopops. She welcomed them to her establishment like a mother, happy to serve these nice young people—.

‘I have something to say, John.’

My mind and face snapped back to point at Dave.

‘I have something to tell you.’

‘Okay.’

Dave looked down at his hands while he told me why he called, after all these years, to arrange this drink with me. Because something had haunted him for all those years. Because he needed to unburden himself before the end.

‘I hope you can forgive me, John.’

I was shaking my head, ‘Dave, please—‘

And then he told me what it was.

Ten seconds later I was on the street striding away from the pub as fast as I could go without actually running. I made for the tube on autopilot. Heading home without thinking about it as I had done hundreds of times. Thousand of times. The familiar streets, stations, stairs, platforms, and trains went by without consequence. I passed five thousand people who didn’t know or care about me and I ignored them all. I stood with my face to the black window of the underground train and watched the blackness rushing past. I left the last station and walked the dark, wet streets to my front door and stopped, key in hand. My head was full of questions without answers.

How can I go in?

How can I face her?

What will I say to her?

I stood in silence for a few minutes which felt like a few hours.

The sound of footsteps came up the road from the station. It would be one of my neighbours coming home from work. They would see me standing in the porch light in front of my own house. They would wonder what I was doing there, but I didn’t care what they thought. I really didn’t care. The steps passed behind me and for a second I thought I heard them falter as if the person was about to stop. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself and relax my face enough to turn and smile, but no, the steps continued and I breathed out shakily.

I opened the door and went inside silently as if I could creep in without her noticing. As if I could avoid her completely. As if I could be invisible and ignored, like a ghost in my own house.

‘Hi,’ she said coming down the stairs. ‘You’re early.’

‘Hi,’ I said.

‘Good day?’

‘Not too bad,’ I smiled and took off my coat.

‘How was David?’

‘Yeah, pretty good. Enjoying retirement.’

‘Oh?’ The barest hint of a frown.

‘Yeah, he’s looking good too, lost a bit of weight.’

‘Really?’ She turned away. ‘That’s good then.’

‘Yeah, it is,’ I followed her into the kitchen.

---

Inspired by the Reedsy.com prompt Write about two old friends meeting for the first time in years.

Photo by Zach Rowlandson on Unsplash

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tangerinenotions95 · 3 years

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So Much For Normal - A Seth Clearwater FanFic (Chapter 1)

Chapter 2

I took a deep breath as I stood outside the large double doors of Forks High School. The only thing worse than starting a new school? Starting a new school in senior year. Yeah you heard me, I spent years at my old school with my old friends and this summer, right before I start the most important year of my high school life my dad dropped the bomb on me that we were moving; not just town or county but to another country. So, here I am, eighteen years old, making a fresh start in a strange new place, how hard could this be? Oh and I should probably mention that I'm a witch,

I pushed through the rust coloured doors and stepped into a bustling hallway. I stopped and looked around me trying to figure out my surroundings when I saw a sign with the word office written on it. I headed into the door and was greeted by an elderly lady.

"Can I help you dear?" She said looking through her extremely thick glasses that were sitting on the end of her nose. I nodded, "My name is Y/N, I'm a new student" I told her. She turned to her computer screen and started tapping away quickly at the keyboard.

"Ah yes, Miss L/N you just moved here from Ireland?" She asked and I nodded again. "How nice, luckily we are only a few weeks into the new school year so you won't have to much to catch up on" She told me smiling, "Phew that's a relief" I told her causing her to give out a small laugh.

"Just give me one moment and I'll gather all of your information". I stood there waiting and watching her potter around behind the large desk and rifle through drawers and cabinets. She walked back to the desk and placed a small, clear folder in front of me.

"Now this should provide everything you will need; class schedule, locker number, rules and regulations, a small map, all extra curricular information and more" I thanked her and took the folder and headed towards the door.

"Don't hesitate to ask for help dear" She told me as I walked out and I gave her a small wave as I shut the door behind me. Okay, I have fifteen minutes until my class so I need to find the right room, I'll deal with the locker situation later I thought.

I wandered down through the maze of hallways earning the occasional glances from my peers clearing noting that I was new. No surprise there seeing as Forks was not what anyone would call a very big town.

"Ah room 204" I exclaimed to myself finally finding the right room for my first English class and walked in. I was the first here apart from the teacher who gave me a rundown of the curriculum and what I had missed out on. He gave placed me into his seating chart, near the back which was a relief.

I sat down and took out my necessary books and a notebook in front of me. I just waited and soon enough the room began to fill shortly before the bell sounded.

"Good morning class, first of all I want to introduce you to our new student Y/N. I know that you all will help her settle into our school" He said and a they all turned to look at me, most of them seemed friendly at least.

"Now, back to the topic at hand, Hamlet" He announced enthusiastically earning a chorus of groans.

***

The first period flew by as I concentrated on finding all my classrooms without being late. Thankfully most of my teachers didn't make a big deal out of the new student so I could hide in the back easy enough but now it was the time I was dreading all day, lunch time.

My first task was to find my locker and that was thankfully a success. I got rid of a pile of book that I didn't need for the rest of the day and turned my focus to finding the canteen. I needed food but I had no idea where it was or where I would sit when I did eventually find it. I saw the crowd heading in a particular direction and thought that would be my best bet.

I was walking along when something, or more like someone came crashing into me. "Ow" I said as my ass connected with the floor of the hallway.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry are you okay?" asked a girls voice, "Yeah I'm okay" I replied standing up with her help. "I was so hungry that I was in my own world as I raced to the cafeteria" She explained looking guilty. I laughed, "Well then you are definitely forgiven, nothing should stand in the way of food" I told her and she laughed along with me. "I'm Renesmee" She told me extending her hand, I shook it, "Y/N" I told her.

She grinned at me, "Finally I'm not the only one in this school with a strange name anymore" I laughed in agreement, "Do you want to sit with me and my friends for lunch?" She asked, "That would be great" I told her feeling a wave pf relief wash over me as she led me towards the canteen telling me various things about the school.

Renesmee, or Nessie, as she insisted I call her definitely had a unique look about her. She was extremely pale with dark brown hair that had a hint of red in it. She was beautiful no doubt and we quickly became best friends. My first few weeks at Forks seemed to fly by. My dad was enjoying his new job lecturing at a nearby university and my step mum Clara was after getting work in the local hospital.

I was getting used to living in Forks.

#twilight #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #vampire #werewolves #seth clearwater imagines #seth clearwater #fantasy #fandom #fan fiction #fanfic #Seth Clearwater Fic #TwilightFic #Twihard #Imagine #seth clearwater x reader #Seth Clearwater x Y/N #Twilight Y/N

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professorrw · 3 years

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hii can you do a professor loki x reader smut !! where she is being a tease and he punishes her over his desk with degrading or teasing ? thank you !!! 💘💘

Pairing: female reader x Prof!Loki

Requested: Yes

Warnings: smut, 18+, oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, pet names (kitten, darling), age gap (reader in college, Loki is 40), some degrading, light edging, fingering, swearing, begging

A/N: Requests are open for one-shots, headcanons, imagines, and drabbles for My Hero Academia, Harry Potter, and Marvel! My taglist is open so if you’d like to be on that just tell me! Please like, comment, and reblog!

You were a broke student going to a prestigious college. Of course that school had the best professors. At least that’s what you had heard. But you weren’t prepared for one of your professors to be so hot. Compared to your other teachers he was one of the youngest at the ripe age of forty when you were in your senior year.

Everything about him just screamed sex appeal. You weren’t one to judge someone solely on appearances but damn, he was fine. He had a sexy British accent and dark black hair and the way he rolled his sleeves up showcased his arms in just the right way. It didn’t help your concentration when he wore those tight black khakis that squeezed against his ass.

To help pay for your college tuition you became a teachers’ assistant. You did a lot of work for Professor Laufeyson and soon something began to bud. At first it was just friendly banter but then it developed into more. By the end of the school year you and your professor had a secret relationship. It was easier to keep it a secret because you were a teachers’ assistant. You could go to his classroom after hours and no one would bat an eyelash.

Over the summer your romance really hit it off. By your senior year you two were still going strong. So strong in fact you would tease him during class. It was blistering hot one day, which gave you an excuse to wear a loose top and a skirt. When you leaned over your desk the top was just low enough that your cleavage would be on display.

When he was doing a lecture and caught sight of your chest his breath would catch and he would falter, then go straight back to teaching. After class though when you came back to drop off papers you knew what was going to happen.

You knocked on the door to his office and he called for you to come in. You stepped into the room which was only lit by the lamp next to him. The lamp shade casted his mahogany desk in an orange glow. His walls were lined with the same material of bookshelves, which were filled with a variety of books.

He was grading assignments but when he saw you he set his pen down and sat back in his chair. He took off his reading glasses and set them down on top of the paper he was previously looking at. He crossed one of his legs over the other and intertwined his fingers in his lap. His polished black shoes were bobbing up and down and tapping on the floor.

He gave you a sultry smile before he started talking. “You’re very naughty. I saw what you were doing earlier. Were you trying to tease me darling?”

“Maybe.”

He ‘tsked,’ “I think you’ll need to be punished. Don’t you agree?”

“I suppose I do.” You were looking forward to the so-called punishment. It wasn’t actually a punishment at all. He would bend you over his desk and fuck you until you couldn’t walk anymore. In your book that was a treat.

“Sassy little thing aren’t you? Well, you know how this goes,” he said. He picked up his stack of papers and put them in his seat which he had stood from. He set the books in a stack next to his desk and put the lamp on top of it. From the new position of the light it was harder to see than before. The light was still on the ceiling and the sides of the desk, but it wasn’t as bright as earlier.

You indeed knew how this went. You walked to his desk and bent over, plump ass sticking out just for him. He walked around his desk and placed a hand against your ass. He let out a low chuckle.

“No underwear darling? I hope you haven’t let other people see your tight little pussy.”

“I haven’t. It’s only for you,” you said.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

He rubbed and pinched your butt cheeks before he even went near your vagina. He slotted his hand between your legs and pushed your feet so they would be further apart. He ran his thumb along your folds before he put it inside you. You started moaning as he moved his thumb around inside you.

“Let me hear you kitten,” he purred.

You moaned more as he increased the intensity of his movements. He took his thumb out and added two other fingers. He curled and scissored and pumped them in and out, doing everything he knew would make you cum. You were gripping the edge of his desk and he was fingering you so intensely in a few minutes of his cooing and your moaning you were about to reach your orgasm.

“I’m- I’m about to cum.”

“Not yet kitten. You’ve been naughty.” He pulled his fingers completely out of you, making a whine come out of your lips.

“Being needy will only make your punishment worse. Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

He had built you up until you were seconds away from coming and then stopped. Of course you didn’t want him to stop. You wanted him to put his fingers or dick in your vagina or else you would finish yourself off.

“No. Please- Please fuck me. I’ll stop being naughty,” you begged.

“You like it when I fuck you?”

“Yes- Yes. Please-” you were cut off by something being pressed against your slit. He had unzipped his pants and lined himself up whilst you were talking.

You pushed the rest of his length in by the time he was fully in you were close to your orgasm again. He immediately started thrusting, fulfilling your need for him. He wasn’t going to go easy on you at all. He was already going fast when he started and he had to hold onto your shoulders for support. His balls were slapping against you at every thrust, filling the room with grunts, moans, and the sound of slapping.

Loki himself wasn’t the type to last rounds and if he really wanted he could cum quickly. He intended to cum right after you did so when you screamed out he knew it was time. Your cum spilled out and covered his dick, creating less friction.

Just moments later his seed squirted into you. After a few more slower thrusts he pulled out, cum dripping with his and your cum combined. You turned around slowly, trying not to aggravate your sensitive pussy. There in front of you was Loki, who hadn’t pulled his pants back up and had his dick just hanging out.

“Why don’t you make it up to me and clean this up?” He motioned to his cock and you eased yourself onto your knees. You licked and sucked on his dick until all the juices were cleaned off. When you were finished you stood back up and Loki pressed a kiss to your lips.

“Thank you kitten. Do you want to stay for a drink?”

You stayed for a few more hours and had a drink with your professor until you had to go back to your apartment for the night.

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youn9racha · 3 years

Text

I Know (Part II)

Pairing: Changbinxfem!reader

Genre: smut

Warning: mild stalking, stripping, phone sex???, mutual masturbation, semi-exhibitionism, a tiny bit of corruption kink, and an even tinier praise kink, switch!changbin, switch!reader

Words: 2.8k

Extra Notes: like I’ve mentioned in the last part, everyone is above the age of 21 (think senior year of college age), so thats that. I’ve also noticed that the lyric is not that related to the story, but oh well :’) anyways, hope you enjoy this

And baby, I know, I know whatever city you’re in, you’re still the boy that I’d pick…

PLEASE READ PART 1 FIRST BEFORE THIS !!

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This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

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Changbin’s calling me…

What in the world does he want to talk to me about in this ungodly hour? It wasn’t late, but it certainly wasn’t early enough for a call like this. I looked back at the window and I still see the curtains still closed, assuming he was out or maybe in another room. I answered and put the phone in my ear.

”Hello?”

“Hey, (y/n)! I just wanted to call to check up on you,” he said, “how are you?”

Damn, he only called for innocent intentions... Why is he so damn cute?! (y/n), you got two choices to respond back; you either respond give him a nice sweet response, or you give a sly yet friendly comeback. It can work—

“(y/n)?” The voice out of the phone took me out of my inner self’s debate.

“Yes! Yes! I am fine,” I said, embarrassed and mentally facepalming myself. This is not doing well, he already thinks I am a creep and a loser. Or maybe not, since its seems like I heard a faint chuckle and the word “cute,” followed by, but that could just be a figment of my imagination. “How are you?”

”Oh, I am good, just came back from hanging out with Chan and Han,“ changbin responded, there were shuffling in the background so he could be doing something while on the phone, but what is it? I wouldn’t know. I heard him and Chris mentioning a ‘Han’ in our conversation we had while preparing for my apartment, so that name is familiar, however the owner’s not. “You should meet him one day, I think you both will be good friends.”

”Woah there, you better take me to dinner first before I meet your friend,” I teased. Keep it going, (y/n), you’re on the right track, you’ve definitely caught him off guard, like you always do.

“Give me a place, time, and date, you’ll get that dinner, or maybe I’ll let Chris take you.” Changbin nonchalantly said, oozing confidence just by his voice. That bitch… Always makes it harder for me than it already is. As if he saw my blushing reaction, he began laughing.

“What’s wrong, princess? Cat’s got your tongue?” He said it in a low voice. Usually, I would gag if anyone—let alone a man—calls me princess, but with him, it felt different. It felt… arousing? No! No! (y/n), get a grip!

I rolled my eyes and laid on my back to be more comfortable, “What is it, Changbin?” I said, changing the subject, “What is that you wanted to call me at 10 p.m?” Yes, pretend like he didn’t just call you princess in the sexiest tone of voice you’ve ever heard. Totally would work.

”I told you, I just want to check up on you,“ he confessed but he also paused to say something further, “and also I am bored and I kinda felt like talking to you. I’m not wasting your time, aren’t I?” Although I couldn’t see him, he does however sound really sincere with his words. I don’t want to sound naive, but he sounded truthful.

“No,” I shook my head, “you really didn’t, besides I just got out the shower and was just scrolling through instagram.” I said, looking down in my nails.

”Oh, really?” He said, “were you going to sleep?”

”No, I stay on social media for a long period of time, I don’t sleep that easily“

”I see,” he said, but then he stopped talking. As the awkward silence has erupted between us, I started to think more about the first time I saw him and how I felt. While I thought it would be better for me to tell him later on and on person, but this balloon inside of me was getting bigger and bigger as guilt is inflating it. I sighed and started to speak, “Hey Changbin.”

”Yeah?”

“Can I confess you to something?”

”Tell me anything, doll, I’m all ears.”

Dammit! You’re not making it easier.

I bit my lips, “uhh,” I am glad he wasn’t looking at me, grimacing and slapping my head.

”You know hitting yourself isn’t gonna help,” as soon as Changbin uttered these words, my heart sank. My eyes widened as I got up and looked out window. His curtains were open, and it showcase a very, very pleasant show.

I see Changbin, sitting at the edge of his bed, facing me as his black shirt was fitting his form really well, especially with the semi-flexed arm that has his phone near his ears meanwhile the other arm was holding the elbow of the occupied arm. He was look at me straight at my eyes when we made eye contact, and fuck, was that an image to look at. As I looked like a deer going through a headlight, Changbin tilted his head in confusion, but he still had a smirk, “what is it you wanted to me?” he said through the phone.

”I-I“ I stuttered. At this point, I’ve lost all sense of dignity and my self thought, I am about to get called a creep by a good looking man I met not too long. Here goes nothing.

”I may have invaded your privacy,” I said, which caused Changbin to furrow his eyebrows in even more confusion, still having a slight smile to it. “What are you talking about?”

”Ugh, Changbin, I saw you half naked when apartment touring numerous times!” I yelled in frustration, as he kept pushing my button. I looked away, not bearing to look at him, as I closed my eyes out of guilt. “I understand if you don’t want to be friend, even though we met for only a week, but I just couldn’t bear the guilt that I—“

As I confessed, I heard a laugh coming put of the phone, I opened my eyes and looked at Changbin looking down, with shoulders shaking up and down. Now, I have the confused look that he had, “What’s funny?”

“Oh, princess, you have no idea,” He said, still looking down. Me still being bemused, he noticed my silence and looked up at my frowned face.

”I know…” He smirked, while my eyes were widened. Son of a bitch.

”W-wh-“

“I thought you knew that I’m doing all this on purpose, I’ve been trying to catch your attention every single way.” He leaned forward, placing both elbows in his knees, “I thought you were smart, only to be a gullible baby.” He whispered the last part, as I gulped at the last part. God damn, he’s so intense with his gaze. His eyes wandering all over me meanwhile maintaining a very dark yet exciting aura, which typically puts me off but now, I’ve never wanted to pounce a man so badly.

I smirked at him, the guilt I had had fizzled away, only to replace with arousal.

“So you’re not mad?” I looked at him, with innocent eyes, now laying on my side, facing him, as my robe slipped and exposed a part of my shoulder and the upper of my chest. He breathed in, as he was examining me, “no, why would I be mad at you?” He leaned back, as his head was thrown back, neck exposed, placing his free hand on the back of his neck.

God, is he so fine…

”I could never be mad at my precious baby.” He smiled a seductive smile at me, which made me riled up by rolling my eyes and looking up. “You like getting called that, don’t you?” He may have said it in a question form, but it didn’t feel like one, it was rather a statement than a question. “Hm,” I said, looking back at him, eyes half opened out of hunger for him.

We had an intense eye contact, where if it weren’t for the distant and the glass that is placed in front of us, we’d probably be all over each other.

”Has your hang out with Han and Chris worn you out?” I asked, decievingly innocent. Man, the power this man has over me is no joke. He scoffed, “so you’re just going to mention other men like that?”

Ignoring him, I got up, letting the towel that was loosely in my head fall onto my bed, and went closer to the window, “let me relieve you of your stress, if you don’t mind.” I shyly fidgeted on my robe belt. He looked at me up and down, licking his lips, “I wouldn’t mind, if you don’t as well.”

There’s nothing more sexier than mutual consent. (y/n), shut up, don’t ruin the moment.

I smiled and backed away from the window. I put my phone on speaker and put it on the side. I looked back at him, as I held onto my robe belt, he looked at me with a smile. I turned around with a slight sway on my hips, as I slowly undid my belt, slowly exposing my back at him, smiling as I heard a shuddering breath coming out of the phone.

As the robe completely fell off my body, being just in my underwear, exposing whatever secret flaws that has been hidden from the public. I silently gasp at the cool breeze as I held onto my chest, sensing my nipples getting hard. “Turn around for me, baby,” Changbin’s breathy voice echoed all over the room.

We may not be in the same room, and we maybe exposing ourselves to whoever is above and under us as well, but neither of us care. In our eyes, we only got each other, and we’re the only ones in existence.

I turned to him, letting go of my breasts and letting myself be bare, only to see him palming himself through his tight pants, groaning at his lack of full on skin-to-skin touch. It’s like he was waiting for me to tell him touch himself, which proved correct when he said, “please, let me touch myself.”

I smiled sympathetically, and also slightly astonishingly. I have never met a man with such switch like that. His dominating demeanor has faded and been replaced to a submissive cutie, which I obviously seem to admire very much. Pretending to thinking, I sat down, and looked at him, putting my hands behind me, “only if you give me a show too.”

I smirked at his state. He was disheveled, and adorned a beet tint all across his cheeks and nose. He looked beaten, but I loved it, and he does too. He put his phone on speaker too, quickly got up, and rapidly got his shirt.

“Ah ah!” I said, which caused him to freeze, looking at me, desparation was seeping through his eyes. Menacingly smiling, “slowly.”

Which he obeyed, surprisingly patient and sensual, I jokingly remarked that “he got dancer hips,” with the way he took off clothes while his hips moved in a way not many who can control their bodies can. He chuckle, “you should see how it works wonder,” his cocky attitude has made a comeback, which should piss me off but it made the whole thing hotter than it already is.

We’re both in our underwear, looking up at our eyes and looking down at each other’s half-nude bodies. Changbin wasn’t the tallest man I have ever met—not that it matters—, but he got many aspects that makes up for it, and its not just looks or personality. Just by the outline, I can tell that his little guy wasn’t little.

I propped myself with my elbows as I spread my legs, for him to see the wet spot that is stained in my underwear. He grunted at the sight, while I chuckle, “you like what you see?” I faux-innocently asked as I trailed my hand from my neck, making my head fall back, down to the valley of my chest, onto the waistband of my underwear.

“Fuck…” Changbin cursed, admiring the sight in front of him. He didn’t realize how lucky he was to see me in a state like this, not many have the privilege, especially not with men I met in a short amount of time.

I tugged my panties, took it off and exposed a part that he was dying to see, which caused him to gulp. He sighed with a smile, “god damn, (y/n),“ he shook his head in disbelie, “I’ve always thought you were gorgeous, but now I’m convinced you’re a goddess“

I giggle at his words, “and you, sir, are a demon disguised as a greek god” I teased back, tracing my two fingers around my lips, I noticed that he still was in his underwea. He still waited for my permission. How adorable.

”You can take off your underwear, Binnie” I didn’t even mean to give him the nickname, but I was too excited to even think straight. I looked at him, and saw him reveal his friend, and I gasped loudly, which made Changbin alert. “What? Whats wrong?”

”Nothing, its just,” I chuckle, “you have a nice dick.”

”Thank you,” He smirked as he sat down and looked at me, with full attention. I put my two fingers into my mouth, while maintaining eye contact. I then trailed my finger down to clit, which resulted in me letting out a blissful gasp. Meanwhile, Changbin was repositioning to a comfortable position as he began to touch himself, which caused him to let out a choked out groan.

”Binnie, as you touching yourself?” I half-whispered, but it was still loud enough for him hear along with my fingers movements that moved from my clit onto my slit, which made me moan.

”Ah-y-yes” Changbin groaned and nodded, as he was stroking his dick following the pace that I was going at.

After hearing Changbin’s groans, I began inserting my fingers at my slit, making me whimper in the process, “oh, fuck” I cursed, as I started to thrust my fingers in and out, noises coming out of my mouth along with the wetness of my pussy were getting louder, which excited Changbin, as his stroking was audible through the phone along with his beautiful groans.

“god, (y/n), if only I could touch you,” Changbin spoke through groans when he saw me fondling my breast and going faster. I was getting louder with my noises, in contrast of Changbin’s quite yet beautiful and audible noises. So much so, it sounds like Changbin was watching porn, rather than getting fucked at a distance.

“Ah-are-fuck-are you close?” Changbin asked through whines, his speech was getting difficult as he was getting closer to climax with his strokes going as fast as I was.

I nodded, out of struggle of speech, whining out, “Ah! Binnie!”

“Fuck, (y/n), I’m—“ Changbin grunted, as his strokes was started to get sloppy, he began to thrust onto his hands. I began to feel like something burning up in my stomach, moaning at the sensation, “Chang—I’m cummin— I’m cumming”

“Me too…” He choked on his words, as his groans and moans were also getting louder. Our phone voices combined was dirty but erotic, topped with the scene of two people masturbating to each other, now thats even a hotter view.

“Binnie!”

“Go ahead, baby... cum”

And just like that, I let out a squeal as I reached my peak, still playing with myself until I sensed an overstimulation. Not too long after, I was hearing a lot of grunt from the call and then I looked at Changbin, who ended up cumming onto his stomach, his chest raising up and down, letting himself catch his breath. Still out of breath, we both looked at each other, we both laughed at our fucked out state.

“Holy fuck, was that hot?” Changbin commented, taking the phone, putting it out of his speaker and back to his ear. I laughed at his sudden remark, nodding, “oh yeah, can’t wait to feel what you feel like,” I bit my lip.

”At least buy me dinner first,” He teased, referring to the remark I had at the time, which made me roll my eyes and him to chuckle. “You’re a dick,” I said.

”A big one, and a pretty one according to you,” He teased again. I started to jokingly groan at his words, causing him to laugh, “alright, alright, I’ll stop.”

I got up and picked the phone, looking at him, “I had fun, we should do this again,” him and I started exchanging a smile, this time it was more pure than the smiles we had earlier. He nodded, “for sure, but the next time is going to be in one of our beds, I really need to touch you.”

”The feeling is mutual.”

We began to talk a little more, until we both have felt that slumber was starting to sneak up onto our eyes. We both ultimately had to hang up, since we don’t want to raise our phone bills with our already long call. While facing away from the window, I couldn’t help but started admire Changbin in my head.

I typically hate men, but Changbin wasn’t just like any man.

He was Changbin, and I highly doubt that you’ll ever find a man like him.

#changbin fanfic #changbin scenarios #changbin smut #changbin imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz fanfic #skz smut

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