#sending you my therapist's bills

[messrsbyler]

it's me, hi! i'm the problem it's me. (actually no. you're the problem. you started this. i made it worse… then you made it worse 2x. then… ok we're both the problem here.)

so i did not sleep very well last night and i am embarrassed to admit it was because i had such an overactive brain bc of this au. (also i drank too much coffee yesterday. woops.)

first i want to explore your thoughts on what happens when will gets kidnapped and then later "possessed" (using that term for a lack of a better word, simply bc atla world doesn't really have psychic abilities and stuff, so whatever our variation of this is might be less of a possession and more just losing control over his bending in some way) and basically just his whole mess with henry. because i was thinking about it, and well like... the upside down doesn't really exist, obviously? and then what replaces the demogorgon and the demodogs and other monsters? evil spirits? (that could be cool, definitely a consideration) oh my god does will get dragged into the spirit world did i just answer my own question? my baby boy dragged into the darkest parts of the spirit world and maybe even having some sort of brief interaction with henry (who... has just been chilling there? passing time? yep we'll go with that) el being able to find him through meditation? OH OK LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT NIC

second i started thinking about it last night. and how airbending, i think about it and my brain goes to like... breathing. mostly because of this scene. and THEN i got to thinking about how airbending is the element of freedom, which is super fucking ironic because that scene is a brutal murder by ripping away someone's ability to do the very baseline function that allows them to live: breathing. and THEN i also got to thinking about... huh. where have we seen that before?

*gestures to will with the vine in his throat in s1, gestures to will getting attacked by the mind flayer on the field as it enters his mouth and literally all his orifices, gestures to will telling dr owens in s2e1 "No. Like how you feel when you're scared, and you can't breathe or talk or do anything." and also will telling the party in s3e4 "Your body... it goes cold and... and you can't breathe."

interesting very interesting how it's subtly there in the st canon (not that i think there's all that much to it in the show's canon, though please if you have thoughts i wanna hear them), but in the atla/st au event of the century. there is a LOT THERE.

because now i'm just imagining henry doing that sort of thing that zaheer does to the queen to will or whatever advanced ancient form of airbending that he does to will is similar to it, and maybe we replace the vine in the mouth with like an attempt to do that to will that failed. so henry comes back. and tries again. but THEN we get the beautiful wonderful hurt/comfort of will, who is an airbender and who actually has always loved his bending now being scared of his element and knowing it was a fellow airbender (though not knowing who yet) that did this to him. will getting panic attacks where he remembers what happened to him. will not being able to breathe and being so fucking scared in the aftermath of his experience in the spirit world and his near death experience.

also rewinding a little bit to will's near death: joyce and hopper trying to revive will as henry slinks away back into the darkness. joyce sobbing because she can't lose will obviously, but also because she specifically did not allow jonathan (an airbender, remember?) to come with them because she was scared of losing him too. but joyce thinking about how if she had brought jonathan he absolutely could've saved will with his bending. and how if will dies here in her arms, joyce knows both she and jonathan will never forgive themselves. joyce begging her little boy, her airbender who loves the sky and loves the freedom and who is so full of the joy and childlike wonder of the air nation, to just breathe. praying to the spirits that he could breathe, that there would be air in his lungs, etc. etc.

wow andi got off on a rambly topic there. that was not the point to this. i have 10 minutes before i have to log onto work let's do this.

my POINT WAS. will with ptsd after his kidnapping, right? will not being able to breathe well, gasping constantly, having panic attacks. well, guess what is wonderful about a certain best friend of his and his native element.

"Power in Firebending comes from the breath. Not the muscles. The breath becomes energy in the body." - uncle iroh my GUY!

mike, who has never quite been able to grasp that part of firebending because it's fucking annoying. mike, impatient and petulant and angry that he's forced to sit through stupid breathing exercises while nancy excels and excels and excels. mike, whose firebending is weak because it's not coming from the right place, so much like zuko who just originally lets his anger/frustration fuel him.

mike sits with will.

and they learn how to breathe again. together.

on to book 2: earth 🫡

(yes we are the problem and we look great being the problem, it suits us)

the way you sent this ask and replied to yourself in the first paragraph bc that's how great your brain is. okay but listen listen, the spirit world being the parallel of the UD is just... perfect? and yes the monsters would be the dark spirits AND think about it. the avatar is the bridge between worlds sort of like el is the bridge between the real world and the UD with her connection to the UD and her ability to go into the void and into the UD mentally without having to enter physically JUST LIKE AANG??!! so will is taken to the spirit world and because he spends so much time there he forms a connection to it? that grants him a new ability he didn't have before? kinda reminds me how iroh could see aang in roku's dragon so what if will is now able to look into the spirit world too? there's something more to be explored there but tell me why those parallels work SO NICELY?

ok ok but since in canon brenner takes el and when he learns about the UD she tries to train her to contact the monsters... what if brenner in the atla au learned that this waterbender from this small tribu was the avatar and took her so everyone else thinks the cycle broke because no new avatar was born. and OMG WHAT IF BRENNER KEEPS THAT INFORMATION FROM EL? that she is the avatar. ofc el would know she is different from the other benders from the place where she is isolated, she can control all elements, but she wouldn't know about what an avatar is and the prophecy that rests on her shoulders.

so why brenner would take el and train her to enter the spirit world? he wants to find someone there (henry) just like in canon but WHY? why is henry in the spirit world if he's a mortal and a normal bender, why brenner knows henry is in the spiritual world and WHY does brenner want to find him. what makes henry the villain of the story in the atla au. we need answers andi!!!

would brenner be too much of a fool wanting to control the spiritual world through el, using her as the bridge?

i see you are showing your true colors now, huh? made me feel comfortable, lower my walls, expose my weak spots and then you hit me with this. evil. EVIIIIIIIL. i should call you flayed andi for this one.

WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS PARALLEL WITH BREATHING AND HOW BREATHING IS A IMAGINARY THEY KEEP USING WITH WILL AND VECNA TAKING WILL'S FREEDOM BY TAKING THE AIR AWAY FROM HIS LUNGS??????? OUCH OUCH OUCH

no but like that you ALSO form a parallel between el/brenner's and will/henry's dynamics? one being all about corrupted techniques that take away someone's freedom (brenner with bloodbending and henry with that technique from zaheer) and how both will and el having had those techniques in THEIR OWN NATIVE OF BENDING used against them broke them and made them fear of their own bending abilities but then when they escape their abusers and find friends THEY RECONNECT WITH THEIR WITH THEIR BENDING BECAUSE THEY LEARN THEIR BENDING ABILITY DOESN'T MAKE THEM DANGEROUS OR BAD IT'S HOW THEY USE THOSE ABILITIES GIVES THEM THEIR WORTH. just picture el and will being so curled so deep inside their shells but lucas being there for el showing her how their bending not only means control over others like brenner taught her, it can also mean healing others and how healing others can also heal el herself I'M EMOTIONAL JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!! and robin teaching will (and jonathan bc even though lonnie never pulled something so brutal like using henry's technique he still abused jonathan and took away part of his freedom from his bending) how airbending is ALL ABOUT FREEDOM!! it's about being a free spirit, about lifting off the earth, about connecting and flying and just BEING FREE.

but yes, rewinding a bit, before will can learn how to make peace with his bending he is just scared of it, of exactly what you said, a fellow airbender corrupting their art to make him stop breathing. will getting panic attacks, not being able to breathe. what if will feels like he is broken? an airbender who can't even breathe properly? how can he try to bend air when he can't even keep the air inside his lungs? because now every time he tries to bend air he feels like his throat closes and his chest burns because bending itself is a trigger to his ptsd that brings him back to that moment when henry used that technique on him. WHAT THEN ANDI WHAT THEN????

AND NOOOO YOU ALREADY WENT FOR THE FINAL BLOW WHY ADD JOYCE'S GUILT ON THIS FOR NOT BRINGING JONATHAN?? AND ALSO JONATHAN'S GUILT FOR NOT INSISTING FOR ONCE AGAIN NOT BEING THERE WHEN WILL NEEDED HIM FOR BEING A BAD BROTHER (even if that's so far from the truth) IMAGINE IF WILL HAD DIED THEN NOOOOOOOO

also thinking about joyce telling will to breathe, it reminded me of joyce begging will to wake up in season two on the football field. so, if we keep the UD as the spiritual world that after being there trapped he grew a connection with it, then that was will entering the spiritual world for some reason...

joyce begging her little boy, her airbender who loves the sky and loves the freedom and who is so full of the joy and childlike wonder of the air nation, to just breathe. praying to the spirits that he could breathe, that there would be air in his lungs, etc. etc.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THIS BROKE ME ANDI. HER AIRBENDER WHO LOVES THE SKY AND THE FREEDOM NOOOOOOO I'M ABOUT TO TEAR UP WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

NO NO NO you are so right THIS IS GENIUS!!! ANDI YOUR BRAIN!!! mike and will learning to breathe together i will cry I WILL CRY mike always dodging his breathing lessons because he can't even do that right, because he feels like there's no helping it either way, his self-esteem is so low it affects his bending so what's the use in practicing his breathing? his bending will always be weak and will never meet the standars nancy has set for him. but then will needs him, will needs to learn how to breathe again, how to let the air into his lungs, and mike needs to be there for him, has the need to hold will's hand to ground him, to let him know he is here in the physical world with him, right where mike can reach him so he doesn't float away, so no one can take him away from him.

and if in the middle of a session that lands on a bad day because will had nightmares all night long, because he feels the goosebumps at the back of his neck as if henry as breathing there, mocking him while he forced the air out of his lungs, what if in the middle of a session then will can't bring himself to breathe. he keeps hitching his breaths in, hiccuping, so mike reaches for will's hand and presses it to his own chest, and tells will to follow the movement, how mike's chest expands with each breath, how he only has to focus on that. and will does, with his eyes closed, noticing the come and go of mike's chest but also the beating of his heart hidden somewhere underneath there, and will also focuses on that. because mike is the heart that guides them all and now it is guiding will so he can breathe once more.

THATS A MESS BUT I HOPE YOU GET MY POINT AHSDJASDH

OKAY THIS IS SO LONG ALREADY I WARNED YOU BUT STILL AAAHHHHHH

[fgmetanoia]

Yesterday I binged watched Baby Reindeer, it's one of the most disturbing shows I watched recently.

The thing is, for the whole first half of the show, I was sitting there thinking "what is wrong with this guy, don't you see the gigantic walking red flags of this woman?!"

She was obviously lying about her job and life since day 1. You don't feed into that kind of behavior unless you are 300% that the person is harmless. Which he couldn't be sure. On the contrary, he immediately picked up something was wrong with her.

Seriously, I yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" at the screen like twenty times.

And then Darrien appeared.

I watched it with my mom, she was even quicker than me to predict what was about to happen with Darrien. Seriously, the second he appeared on the screen she was like "now he abuses him". I hadn't even had the time to pick up the weirdo vibes... I hate when she clocks the psycho so quickly.

[sunfishsiestalah]

leave my man alone he did what he had to do to survive

[vasattope]

The 5SOS Show Tour Dusseldorf | 28 September 2023

[vroomvroomlife]

Given some recent gossip, some people over Reddit have mentioned this latest Peroni ad. Let me put on my tin hat and ask: Why is there a number 44 in that Ferrari toy car?

I know Ferrari 44 was the car of Maurice Trintignant when he won the Monaco GP in 1955, but why now???!!!!!! Why that one??!!!!!

And that other little silver car!!! Is this a code? A clue??? Is it????

[avohamtoast]

Monaco GP qualifying is the worst kind of edging I swear

[captainofsalt]

Sound off! Where are my 'physical therapy fucking hurt me so i now do aqua therapy and swimming exercises exclusively' baddies at?

[raisedbythetv89]

Dear Witcher season 3 episode 7,

On behalf of eldest daughters with abandonment wounds everywhere:

OWWWWW - you can take your knife out of my gut now 😭😭😭😭😭

[fairydustedtheory]

How are you doing these days?

Hey nonny! First of all, thank you for asking ❤ Short answer is fine enough. The true answer is still not too good... I guess I make do or whatever The financial aid i was supposed to get didn't get through because of budget cuts or something stupid and out of my control. The child support payment still isn't fixed so i guess a father can just disappear and close his bank account and nobody can do anything about it except spend months trying to locate his new bank... (all of that after the asshole traumatized my kid just for fun i guess) *shrugs* now it's going to be summer so nothing is going to move until fall because that's how society works and life just goes on like that and the shitty dump of a small town i'm stuck in doesn't open any job like always. Sooo yeah i'm very much 'bleeeeh' about a lot of things at this point. It's just if i put things in perspective, they're not as bad as they were last year when i cried in my shower every day and my kid was having a nervous breakdown all the time, but idk my main mood is that I'd like to find a tiny house in a forest and disappear for a while

[grandpermitsof82]

I’m sorry but if anyone tries to argue that grantaire is not Noah kahan coded ima just pull out “I’m high enough to care if I still die, I tried to read the thoughts you worked overtime to stop, you said ‘fuck off’ and I said nothing for a while” THAT LAST BIT IS SO THE YOU ARE INCAPABLE… YOU SHALL SEE SCENE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY

[uglytrannymess]

I was just beaten, stabbed, and shot all in just the matter of a few days, each day a different incident or attack by an individual in my family and outside of my family by ppl around me, I had to get several stitches in my legs, arms, hands and even some in my face after being jumped and beaten and stabbed, I had a bullet pulled out my leg and my side, I was shot 8 times, 4 times in the legs and 2 times in my right lower abdomen and another 2 times in my left lower abdomen, I been in and out of the hospital including the mental hospital for suicide attempts as well as being harmed by transphobic ppl, I've been struggling paying for costs of a vet visit after my kitten was killed by my moms dog after she had her dog kill her, I've been raped, molested and abused by my family and ppl in my schools and neighborhood and I just get tired of being in this same situation surrounded by poverty, I live in a neighborhood where I'm constantly threatened for being a black trans woman and I have NO ONE TO TURN TO, I've tried getting help finding a new job but it's harder after constantly being fired for molestation at work and sexual harassment and constant work abuse I've been thru whether it was employees or managers targeting me with harassment and bullying within the workplace and it's been hard in general trying to get help with financial situations, paying for medical bills and get med assistance from the government and the city as well as mental health help for therapists, psychiatric help, and safe space havens or shelters, I've also been from mental health facility shelter to homeless shelters and been harassed, abused, raped and molested in EVERY SINGLE ONE, i am currently living in a rundown home surrounded by poverty and bad conditions, rusted bursted pipes, i have no plumbing, no water, no way to get anything to drink, to clean stuff with, i dont have water for dishes to be cleaned, laundry to be washed, or to bathe or shower in or to take a piss or shit in either and there are several dead cats in my basement as well as raccoons from all the holes in the walls, I had to freeze in the winter and was trying to get help from the city with some government assistance and I'VE YET TO GET ANY HELP, ANY THERAPISTS FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH I'M STILL ON A QUEUE, I HAVE NO HELP FOR MENTAL HEALTH MEDS, OR PSYCHIATRIC HELP, I can't seem to afford to get help with much even after succeeding my Gofundme goal because I had to use most of that money for food for me and my cats and keep cleaning products to get my home clean WHICH IS STILL A MESS. so what i need anyone to do for me if yall POSSIBLY CAN, is reblog this as much as you can and please share my links to donation help with pet food, water, meds, med help, mental health help, finding an apartment, getting a bed or mattress, and any daily needs and necessities IF YALL CAN.

My goal is to get at least $2500 to $3000, I know it's alot but rn I need as much as I can possibly get, yall can send anything, nothing is too small it's ALL APPRECIATED. IF PPL CAN SEND AT LEAST 25 OR 30$ EACH IT WOULD HELP OUT SO MUCH, BUT AGAIN ANY AMOUNT IS APPRECIATED. THIS is REALLY IMPORTANT!!....I'M TRYING MY BEST TO SURVIVE RIGHT NOW!

Cashapp: $Slasherstan91

Venmo: Negrophiliac (I know the name's wild 😭)

Chime: $MarsRayL

Paypal: paypal.me/MarsRayL

[star-anise]

are we talking about broke therapists yet?

I've been out of things for a couple of years now, which is why I'm willing to talk about it, and maybe the pandemic has helped things a little, but holy shit the counselling and psychotherapy field is not equipped to help its practitioners in the gig economy.

Of all my interests and talents, I pursued a degree in psychology because being a therapist is supposed to be a safe, stable, well-paid job. Every therapist I met who was registered before 2008 worked and lived under that assumption. And oh boy are all the fee structures--registration, supervision, continuing education, conferences--set up for that scenario.

After getting my Master's, I struggled like hell to get a job. It was especially bad because to get my license, I needed a supervisor to take me on. To take me on, most supervisors wanted me to already have a caseload and client base. To get a caseload and client base, I needed a job.

Friends: Every single job I heard back on wanted me to have my license before I could even land an interview.

Professors and career advisors and professional development specialists all advised me very earnestly to just keep cold-calling people on the supervision list, and it began to feel a lot like my parents' friends telling me to hit the bricks and hand out resumes. That's what worked for them, right?

I finally got a supervisor who agreed to take me on, and I'd be able to use her clinic for advertising and workspace, and we were doing the paperwork to send in with my registration, when she called me up and said, "Is this job going to be your only source of income? If you're trying to depend on getting clients and building your practice for your basic needs, this is not going to work out. This has to be something you're doing on top of a basic salary. Okay, so you're not working anywhere else right now? I'm sorry, I can't move forward with this."

Even once I landed a supervisor and a job building my own private practice, I struggled. I have ADHD and am not great at self-promotion, so trying to do all my own advertising, scheduling, bookkeeping, billing, and records management (on top of counselling) was an enormous strain. One my bosses, supervisors, and other senior professionals watched with a slightly critical eye, but consoled me about because in their early days, their clinics had had business managers, receptionists, filing clerks, and accountants, and getting used to doing everything online yourself was a bit of a learning curve, wasn't it?

I counted my pennies very carefully, because I had to pay my supervisor roughly $180 for their services every 6 hours of in-person counselling I did. This meant that to break even I had to charge my clients an average of about $30 (plus room rental and service fees) an hour--and my clients, being people with complex trauma, were frequently poor, disabled, unemployed, and had no health benefits, so even $10 or $20 a session was a lot for them.

Maybe it would have been easier if I could have taken some of those nice comfortable organization positions where they find clients and funding for you and you work 40 hours a week and get benefits and a pension, but I had to be disabled into the bargain, so working 40 hours a week just isn't possible for me. I start passing out from stress and exhaustion. Older colleagues gave me serious-faced advice about approaching my employer and asking them for some flexibility and accommodation in my schedule, and I tried to explain across the gap between us that employers simply did not hire me if I made the slightest noise about the workload. They weren't going to invest in me as a person; they were hiring 40 units of work a week, and if I wouldn't do it there were a dozen applicants after me who would.

At one point I broke down enough to email my licensing body because the Annual General Meeting/Professional Development Conference was coming up, and I wanted to attend, but I could not produce $500 to do it with. Was there some kind of way I could attend anyway? I felt ashamed to have to ask, and then absolutely mortified when the response came from the organization president, who needed to personally sign off on me being too poor to attend the single most important event in my profession's calendar year.

I honestly felt so ashamed all the time at how I was apparently failing to be a successful therapist, failing to be rich and successful, and every time I mentioned it around mentors and bosses, I could feel myself shrinking from a person to a problem to be solved. My closest therapist-friends and I have reflected on how much more difficult, poorly-paid and underworked, our various career starts have been than we were ever warned about. About the classmates and coworkers who couldn't get disability exceptions when they fell behind in their registration requirements, or burned out and left the field, or dropped their registrations and took up as life coaches, or moved their whole family somewhere exceptionally remote or rural because it was the only good job available, or worked for some godforsaken app skirting the bounds of malpractice like BetterHelp.

I like those conversations, because I feel less like an absolute fuck-up in them. There's less "Hey Lis, you were so talented in grad school, I really admired you, what are you doing now?" "Oh, I, uh... am professionally disabled, so I get government benefits, and I... sell embroidery patterns on Etsy now."

My own therapist kept asking if and when I felt like going back to being a counsellor, and I finally told him: I don't, actually. I don't want to go back and do it like I was doing it before. It was a profession I loved to the depths of my soul, and it profoundly did not love me back. I can't even imagine what would have to change, in me or it, to make it have a space in it that could fit me.

All of which I was way too scared to admit to at the time, because the more I let people know I was struggling, the more they hinted that maybe I just wasn't in a place in my life where this was a job I could do, and I needed to take a little break and wait to come back until money and disability just weren't issues for me anymore.

Eventually my cups of doubt and exhaustion did overflow, and I quit. I'm here now, living a much different life. And at the very least, all my years of helping people in bad life situations set me up perfectly for my own. I already knew what form to fill out for financial assistance, which student clinics to access for mental health support, and which government agency would, if pressed, cough out pharmacy coverage for the genuinely destitute. It gave me that much.

I hope this is just me being in extraordinary circumstances, sitting at the intersections of a few different shitty life situations that most people skip right past. Because it's on one level comforting, but another deeply infuriating, if I'm not, and I've just missed it or we've just all been too afraid to admit it to each other.

[algae-tm]

Kill Bill P.7

Charles Leclerc x famous singer ex!reader

Author’s note : all the songs are real although I’ve played around with who’s featured on what, but I recommend everyone listen to the songs I’ve chosen not for any particular reason just cause they slap and I had such fun creating a playlist for this AU.

Also, I have WAYYY too much time on my hands now that uni is over… so hope you enjoy - Algae🌱

•••••

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by y/bff/n, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 32,324,487 others

yourusername : ‘TIDES’ out now on all streaming platforms 💚

y/bff/n : Now you did not play me Cellophane when i listened to this earlier! Why do you have me crying in walgreens by the edamame beans??

— yourusername : girl? do you want me to come get you?

— y/bff/n : please.

— y/bff/n : HURRY UP nobody gets me started playing and the cashier is wondering why I’m using grapes to dry my tears.

user1 : y/bff/n is so real for that cause what do you mean, “didn’t I do it for you, why don’t I do it for you?” y/n please explain yourself STAT!

— user3 : no cause the most devastating part, ‘WHEN ALL I DO IS FOR YOU’ y/n I’m in your walls, how dare you start an album like that wtf?

user4 : oh okay 😀

lewishamilton : So fun collabing with you

user5 : no cause we were robbed! we should’ve had XNDA on girls need love.

— yourusername : I was not about to sing about fucking and sucking with my surrogate uncle! Even could’ve been was too much for me. y’all should be lucky I brought the old man out of retirement

— lewishamilton : glad you made that executive decision but I’m not that old :(

danielricciardo : me rn - 🎧😭🕺🪩😭😢

— yourusername : I appreciate you Danny 💚

— yourusername : but make sure you give your therapist a ring yeah?

— danielricciardo : on call with her rn!

user5 : what’s everyone’s favourite track and why is it love on the brain?

— user6 : how could you even choose?? This might be a no skip album I fear.

user8: I’m sorry y/n did not lay out the 5 minute from the heart ballad that is Ex-Factor for y’all to just not talk about it??

— user9: “no one loves you more than me, and no one ever will!” You listening Lord Perceval????

— user16: “no matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know… IT AIN’T WORKING.”

— user13: but like if she’s trying to send a message to Charles it’s a bit disjointed no?

— user10: ex-factor isn’t to Charles Leclerc

— user11: be so fr who is it for then??

— user10: it’s obviously y/n grappling with her conflicting emotions… it’s not meant to be for Charles. This whole album is her going through it. She’s sorting thru her emotions. Are y’all dumb or stupid?

— user15: alright now

user21: AHHSHHEJSJSJSKEDVDKZKSUDJ

— user23: real.

hallebailey: call me asap for any more collabs, had such fun on Forgive Me!

— yourusername: love you hal x

— chloebailey: do not call her! She got her chance call me! (liked by yourusername)

y/bff/n: SUPERMODEL??!!?? Another one you didn’t let me listen to???

— yourusername: cause I knew you’d smack me upside the head for begging a man to see me as pretty enough.

— user24: WHO DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE PRETTY ENOUGH?! CHARLES?!! LET ME AT HIM!

oscarpiastri: on repeat 🎶

— user31: Oscar 😭 it’s giving desperate

— user26: keep commenting, she’ll reply one day!

— user27: bros talking to himself in her comments

sza: album of the year I fear

— yourusername: Solana 💚 couldn’t have done it without you

user32: @oscarpiastri are you the homeboy she’s been secretly banging like she says on supermodel?

— yourusername: I have NOT been secretly banging anyone’s homeboy! Supermodel is the only track with joint writing creds! I fear @sza came up with that lyric. (Comment deleted by yourusername)

— user34: NO Y/N let Charles think you’ve been secretly doing Oscar!

— user35: @user34 love me some psychological warfare!

landonorris: first!

— yourusername: you literally are the last person to comment😒😒

••••

Y/N Strips Off Expectations on Her New Album ‘TIDES’

R&B superstar delivers sharp barbs and haunting melodies on her long-awaited LP, amidst relationship drama with ex Charles Leclerc.

By Will Dukes

June 10, 2024

If you thought the singles released prior to the album were indicative of the direction this LP would take, think again. Y/n’s highly anticipated latest release, "TIDES," is an ambitious and masterful exploration of love's euphoria and its darker, toxic undertones. Known for her sultry R&B style, y/n transcends genre boundaries in this 15-track opus, weaving together dance, electronic, pop, and reggae influences to craft a cohesive narrative.

The album opens with "Cellophane," a haunting electronic ballad reminiscent of FKA Twigs' ethereal work. This opening track is something we’ve never seen from y/n, yet her delicate vocals float over a sparse, echoing production, setting a tone of vulnerability and foreshadowing the emotional journey ahead. This track is a stunning prologue, drawing listeners into a world where love is as fragile as the titular cellophane.

As we transition to the 3rd track of the album "Forgive Me," the album's pulse quickens. The track opens with a haunting, ethereal intro that quickly gives way to a pulsating beat and assertive bass line, setting a commanding tone. Y/n’s and Halle’s harmonies are immediately striking, blending seamlessly while each woman’s distinct vocal timbre adds depth and texture to the song. Their voices convey both strength and a sense of liberation as they sing about reclaiming their power and refusing to apologize for their choices. Mid-album, "Doo Wop (That Thing)" introduces a surprising but seamless shift. The pop-reggae rhythm provides a laid-back contrast to the preceding tracks, reflecting a momentary calm in the tumultuous relationship. Yet, y/n’s lyrics hint at something more sinister, the song can be seen as a warning, y/n clearly saying to her listeners I’ve made mistakes and here is how you can avoid them.

I won’t blame anyone for mistaking her single “Kill Bill” as the climax of the album. That is what y/n wants you to believe but the climax arrives with "Mary Magdalene" an electronic ballad that ties with the opening track “Cellophane.” For me "Mary Magdalene," is a standout, embodying the album's central themes. Drawing on the figure of Mary Magdalene, y/n reclaims and redefines her story, exploring themes of femininity, devotion, and resilience. The song's intricate layering and hypnotic rhythms create an almost spiritual experience, inviting listeners to delve into its complex emotional landscape. The production is haunting, with distorted synths and echoing beats mirroring the disintegration of trust and affection. y/n’s vocal performance here is raw and powerful, her pain palpable as she sings, "a woman’s touch, a sacred geometry. I know where you start where you end. How to please, how to curse.”

"TIDES" concludes with "Mirrored Heart," a poignant ballad that brings the narrative full circle, echoing the album’s opening. With an album so tumultuous listeners would probably wish for a sense of closure. This song does not give you that, rather you’ll be left questioning ‘what’s next.” y/n’s voice, both fragile and resilient, lingers long after the final note.

In "TIDES," y/n not only expands her musical palette but also delivers a profound and relatable story. This album is a testament to her artistry, marking her as a versatile, timeless and fearless force in contemporary music. It’s a disjointed album, songs sometimes seem out of place, but like the title “TIDES,” suggests, and given the situation that inspired the album, that is exactly the atmosphere y/n was looking to create.

••••

INSTAGRAM

charles_leclerc

Liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,256,712 others

charles_leclerc : best believe I’ll move on to better things

user1: do y’all hear that?

user3: not you using lyrics from y/n’s song it’s giving desperate.

user4: poor Alex

landonorris: what is bro doing lmao

user5: oh -

arthur_leclerc: if before you had a chance now you have 0 😂

— user5: oh Arthur’s messy messy

—lorenzotl: we want our sister in law back, and this idiot isn’t doing us any favours.

user6: I’m sorry this is so disrespectful to Alex. Just cause you guys broke up doesn’t mean you can do this

user7: lmao get a life

carlossainz55: cabron… this is not what we agreed you’d do 😅

lewishamilton: 😒

— danielricciardo: 😒

— georgerussel63: 😒

— y/bff/n: 😒

— francisca.cgomes: 😒

pierregasly: brother delete this 😔

— oscarpiastri: 😂

(this post has been deleted)

••

TAGLIST

@forevercaffeinated-lee @callsignwidow

[mawmawmaw]

first of all thank you so much to everyone for the support I received after my last post, I can't tell you how much it means to me. I know a lot of us are struggling right now and all I can say is that I hope it will get easier soon. I'm working with my therapist to not be so financially insecure, so hopefully posts like this will be less frequent in the future.

That being said, I'm still short on rent for this month and am trying to avoid any unwanted notices 😓 I told my landlord ahead of time and they've waived the late fee for this month so long as I pay by the 8th like I said I would, but my check is not gonna be enough to cover the gap since my rent is $795 (and I got some small bills to pay afterwards too that total $73).

I'm setting a goal of $250 this time, an amount that would cover my bills and the portion of my rent that would be remaining after I've taken half from my check on the 8th. literally anything helps; as was the case with the last post, reblogs can help put this in view of someone with the means to donate, so don't feel guilty if you don't have anything to spare. that being said if you donate let me know and I'll send you a random pic of one of the dogs from the daycare I work at :)

$115/250

ko-fi.com/mawprints vmo @ mawprints cshpp $ muttiny

[austinbutlerslovers]

Just wanted to say you have made my obsession with Feyd Rautha into something absolutely feral. I will be sending my therapy bill to you after I delve into this newest fictional man crush with my therapist.

OMG 😭🙏🏻 I’m releasing 3 more ♥️ ty

(…Wait how much therapy is needed $$ 😭)

When he can’t act out his lustful thoughts of you in public

[calaisreno]

Make a Choice

702 Words / Prompt: Choice

John’s therapist smiles. She’s the new one, he thinks. Or the one after that. Sometimes it’s hard to keep it all straight. 

“How are the wife and kids?” she asks. 

John sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. “Here’s the thing. You ask me that about half the time. The other half, you ask me how my flatmate is, what crazy stuff he's got up to.”

She blinks, then frowns. “Do I?”

“Yes, you do. It’s like I’m two separate people to you. Two John Watsons.”

“Perhaps… you could say a bit more about that.” She’s fallen back into therapist-mode, and John knows it will be hopeless to explain. 

He will try, though. “This is what my life is: two non-intersecting realities. In one, I'm living in Clapham with Mary and my two kids, Rose and Hamish. I have pub nights with my old army buddies, started biking to work a few months ago, and work at a surgery, treating sniffles and rashes. Sort of boring, but it's what I always expected my life to be.”

She smiles, uncertain. “Yes, I remember. You’ve mentioned your friend Bill.”

“Right.” He leans forward, shaking his head at the absurdity. “But that’s just half of it. In the other life— well, let’s call it another reality. I have one life, split between these two. In the other reality, I'm living with Sherlock Holmes. I never know what's going to happen when I wake up each day. There will be a spleen in the sink, no milk in the fridge because it's all been used for an experiment, and Sherlock will either be nowhere in sight, or flopped on the sofa, taking up as much space as possible with his notes. We go out on cases a few times a month. I've been shot at, stabbed, and got some sort of fungal infection from whatever that was in the sugar bowl. Sort of crazy, but never boring.”

She’s biting her lip now. “John. It’s not unusual for PTSD to manifest itself in… well, imaginings.”

“You mean hallucinations. And that’s not what I’m saying. What I mean is that I am living two lives. The wife-and-kids one, and the Sherlock one. I never know which one I’m going to wake up to. And I have no idea why it’s happening.”

Notebook open, she’s writing something. Upside-down, he reads: possible psychosis.

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” he says. “I’m not psychotic. I always know which reality I’m in. I’m not confused. So, I'm wondering. You're the only factor common to both of these worlds. Do you realise what's happening to me? Is this... an experiment?”

Yesterday, when he explained this, she offered to schedule him in twice a week and send him to a sleep specialist. 

Today, in a different reality, she regards him with a half-smile. “Well, John, that’s a good observation. Very good. I would say that it’s time to make a choice.”

She holds a gun. 

...

His head is splitting. Sherlock is talking, and John is trying to make sense of it.

“Every decision point creates two parallel realities. Yes and no. Turn right, turn left. Go through the park, get on a bus. You’re not aware of all the consequences of your choices, but they exist, as real as the fact of your life—”

“The park,” he says. “I went through the park.” 

“I know.” Sherlock frowns. “Are you all right, John?”

“Of course I’m not all right—I’ve been shot!”

“Wrong. You’re concussed.” He leans over John, studying him like a specimen. “He hit you on the head and stole your wallet. Do you know who I am?”

“Of course I do. You’re my mad flatmate. And my therapist shot me.”

“Wrong. I’m your husband. And you don’t have a therapist.“

He closes his eyes. “I think some wires got crossed.”

Sherlock kisses him. “You’ll be fine.”

...

In a parallel reality, a thief is talking to his therapist.

“How are the wife and kids?” she asks.

He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. “Here’s the thing. I stole this bloke’s wallet, and ever since, I’ve been living two lives.”

She smiles and leans forward. “Perhaps you could say more about that, John.”

@lisbeth-kk @keirgreeneyes @ninasnakie @raina-at @friday411