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notalittlebutalottie · 5 years ago

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hellooo. So glad you are doing drabbles. Could you do something where Klaus and Caroline momentarily die. And while they are dead they meet Caroline parents and Bill forbes is so pissed and all like 'seriously caroline?Klaus freaking Mikaelson?' and Liz did not see that coming.

First of all, thank you for sending the request! This is my first of three drabble requests to be made so far so I will be getting through them in this coming week! I loved writing this so I hope you enjoy it!

♥♥♥ KLAROLINE DRABBLE REQUEST #1: A Trip to the Afterlife ♥♥♥

Caroline shot up, gasping for air and for clarity as she found herself lying on the floor of her bedroom. She scrambled to her feet, feeling a slight wobble, but she was quickly intercepted by the warm arms of her mission partner.

“It’s okay, love. I’ve got you,” Klaus murmured into her ear before slowly turning her around to face him. “I’m glad you could join me in the afterlife. I was beginning to worry.”

She felt like her brain was lagging as it took a moment to respond, a quiet laugh escaping her lips.

“What do you mean? It’s every girl’s dream to die beside her boyfriend during a Wiccan ritual! How could I ever reconsider?” she rolled her eyes, her voice light as she pushed gently against his chest.

He bared his teeth in a grin, “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

Her view was a little hazy, and it took a moment gather her bearings and the situation at hand. Klaus’ appearance was rather unsettling as it felt like she was staring at two overlaying and slightly out of sync copies of him. Being dead (well, semi-dead) was just as Bonnie said it would be: dream-like.

“Drink this,” Bonnie ordered, handing the pair two vials of blue liquid. “It’ll keep you from fully crossing over and should give you enough time to get the answers.”

Caroline and Klaus shared an uneasy glance but clinked their respective vials before downing them. It was absolutely disgusting. They both instinctively shuddered as the liquid hit their taste-buds.

“Could you not have flavoured them with your witch capabilities?” Klaus asked flatly. “You can send us into the afterlife but you’re unable to add some strawberry flavouring?”

“Not exactly on the top of my list of priorities,” Bonnie answered sourly before holding a serious expression. “It’ll take effect in a few minutes. Have you guys ever experienced a false awakening? It’s like that.”

Caroline quirked an eyebrow, “Like...when you dream about waking up?”

Bonnie nodded and continued, “You won’t be fully dead so...it’s gonna seem a little weird until you adjust.”

“How weird?”

“At worst, it’ll feel like you’re on acid, but it should subside quickly.”

“Remind me why we’re sending Blondie and her My Little Hybrid for this? We can’t exactly afford to lose both of them if this goes wrong,” Damon interjected, leaning against Caroline’s wardrobe.

Caroline held a snicker, watching Klaus grumble at the comment.

“Watch it, mate. I just might have to--”

Abruptly, his upper half crashed into the previously prepared pillows around them.

“One down,” Damon smirked.

“Don’t you have anywhere better to be?” Caroline folded her arms, looking like a child as she sat with her legs crossed.

“Don’t you? Shouldn’t you be following his dying act?”

Her eyes widened and she looked at Bonnie for guidance, but she shrugged. You couldn’t begin to decipher the way some spells and potions worked as each person reacted differently.

Caroline sighed, taking the opportunity to manoeuvre Klaus into a more comfortable position. It was only then that she felt her own body taking over to bring her into afterlife.

“How sweet,” Damon commented as he admired the couple’s intertwined position.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Klaus asked, concern dripping from his voice as he cupped her cheeks.

“Yeah,” she said with a shallow breath, “I feel like my body is still adjusting, but we need to make a move.”

He nodded, kissing her gently on the forehead and feathering kisses along her cheek. She couldn’t help but giggle and push him back, yet still clinging on to his shirt.

“Maybe ghost sex will help the adjustment?” he suggested, his tone both laced with humour and truth.

“No!” she squeaked but placed her lips on his gently, welcoming his tongue to wet her lips, but soon enough they were ripped apart as the bedroom door swung open to reveal the person she was wildly unprepared to see.

“Mom!” she exclaimed, hand still gripped on the fabric covering Klaus’ stomach. It was like she was a teenager again and being caught with a boy by her sheriff mother was her biggest worry.

Liz Forbes was stood in the doorway, jaw dropped and a bat hanging from her hand.

“Caroline...” she could barely make out the words, unable to comprehend no matter how much she looked at her daughter. “What...”

As it sank in, Caroline finally absorbed the realisation that she was seeing her mother for the first time in years since she had passed away. The memories of her funeral and Caroline’s subsequent choice to turn off her humanity flooded in through her eyes.

“Mom,” she sighed out shakily, rushing forward to hug her mother who reciprocated happily albeit still processing the moment, “I-I-I have so much I need to tell you about-- to ask you-- oh god-- the letter-- I--”

Klaus was soon placing a hand on the small of Caroline’s back.

“Love,” he began with a warm, yet firm, tone, “We need to focus on the task.”

The blonde nodded fervently, attempting to shake any distracting thoughts away. She backed away from her mother, who she couldn’t help but note as looking radiant regardless of the setting. Klaus immediately intertwined his fingers with her and squeezed her hand in a bid to calm her.

“What are you doing here?” Liz finally spoke with more assurance but wavered as she saw their hands linked and recalled the position she had found them in, “The both of you-- and you were just-- Caroline?”

“Cavorting--”

Klaus was halted with a smack to the chest.

“Mom,” she interrupted cautiously, “Klaus is my...boyfriend.”

She glanced at him, frowning at the smirk on his face.

"Well, I mean...” Liz pursed her lips, “Considering he’s tried to kill you and your friends a million times, I’m a little surprised, but I’m more concerned with why you’re here.”

“Oh, it was barely a thousand,” he muttered but retreated as he received a glare from both of the Forbes women.

“That doesn’t matter,” Caroline began, ignoring her mother’s amused eyebrow raise, “Do you know where dad is?”

“Your father?”

“He has some information that we need about an amulet. We need your help to find him.”

Liz had missed her daughter’s puppy-like eyes whenever she needed something from her. It had felt like an eternity since she had seen her daughter but she looked exactly the same despite the clearly updated wardrobe.

With a sigh, Liz nodded in understanding, “I can take you to him.”

▬

Caroline’s mother had taken them to her father’s cabin, explaining that he rarely left unless absolutely necessary. It seemed that death wasn’t enough to breathe some life into Bill Forbes’ serious persona. On the way, Liz pressed further about the details of Caroline and Klaus’ relationship and when shut down, insisted she had a right to know and a need for some entertainment in her afterlife. Klaus was more than happy to take the reins in explaining their most recent history.

“Okay, this is it,” Liz slowed the car as they met the meticulously well-groomed cabin before them, allowing them to get out. “Caroline, please don’t get your hopes up. He’s been a bit testy even with my death.”

Her daughter nodded resolutely, “Got it. Wait here.”

Klaus began to step forward but she held a palm to his chest.

“You too.”

“Caroline,” he said concernedly, tilting his head.

“I need to do this alone. Besides, you and Mom can do some bonding,” she joked and shared a laugh with her mother who stood behind them.

He nodded, pressing his lips together in defeat.

Caroline took no time knocking and simply jimmied the door open, wandering in with a focus on finding her father. The front room looked just as it had the last time she was in the cabin and it had been a long time. It had been even longer since she’d seen Bill Forbes, and their last interactions weren’t particularly happy memories for her.

“Care Bear.”

She gasped quietly, finding him sat on the couch nearest to the fireplace.

“Dad.”

“I’m assuming this is a short visit. Unless--”

She shook her head and he rose from his seat, coming to meet her near the entrance. It was no surprise his voice perked up in the thought of her demise; he would rather her dead than a vampire.

“We’re only here for a short visit. You have information we need.”

“We? You’re not alone.”

She swallowed nervously, trying to keep on topic, “We don’t have a lot of time.”

“Well, who is it?” he smiled, rushing to the driveway, “Bonnie? Elena?”

He cleared his throat as he found his answer, Caroline biting her lip as her gaze connected with Klaus’.

“Liz,” he greeted with indignation.

“Bill,” she responded with much the same feeling.

Klaus went to hold a hand out, signature dimpled smile on display, “Klaus.”

He soon turned his attention to the unforgettable face of the hybrid, body tensing into a defensive stance.

“I know who you are. You don’t forget the man who ruined the lives of countless people including mine and my daughter’s boyfriend,” he spat, recalling his attempt to help Tyler break the sire bond, an act that indirectly led to his demise.

“Hardly a loss considering,” Klaus argued back, but bit his tongue immediately as he saw Caroline’s unimpressed reaction.

Bill seemed to accept that as a challenge, puffing his chest out as he moved closer.

Caroline quickly moved to stand in front of Klaus, her hand naturally taking its place around his wrist.

“What is he doing here with you, Caroline?”

He was less intimidating after all her years as a vampire, but she still felt the assertive tone in her father’s voice.

“We need your help. We need to know where the Amulet of Tamar is. We know the Council had it.”

“Which still begs the question ‘why is he here?’.”

“I, um,” she searched for the reason but it had been so long since she’d had to make excuses for his presence around her.

“It’s okay, love,” Klaus whispered into her ear. She inwardly groaned; his smooth voice was not something she needed at this moment.

She glanced at her mother, who, too, gave encouragement in the form of a smile.

“We’re...”

Bill squinted brutally at the hybrid.

“We’re dating, okay!”

“Ouch. I would have said we were a little further along than that, love,” Klaus chimed in but he immediately ducked his head guiltily.

“What?!” Bill practically exploded.

“Bill,” said Liz, “she’s happy.”

“My daughter is not dating that monster!”

He flailed his arms about and began pointing at the couple, which only made Klaus pull Caroline closer into him.

“For Christ’s sake, Bill, you’re dead,” Liz quickly pointed out, coming in between them.

“But him?!”

“I’ll admit I was a little surprised...but I’m sure Caroline made these...choices in sound mind! We don’t really get a say in the matter as ghosts.”

“We don’t have time for this,” Klaus took charge, stepping up to meet Bill, “Tell us where the amulet is.”

Despite the clear imbalance of power, Bill scoffed and held his hands to his hips.

“I’d rather die again before I help you.”

“I’m sure we can arrange that.”

“Daddy,” spoke Caroline, finally unleashing a demanding voice before softening as he focused on her, “Please.”

Bill Forbes tapped his foot stubbornly but faltered under his daughter’s gaze.

“Okay. It’s...” he began but cut himself off.

Caroline became annoyed at her father’s games, but quickly realised Klaus had vanished.

The potions had worn off and Caroline was next.

“Tell me now.”

Bill stammered suddenly, a change from his previous stubborn antics, “It’s behind the painting of the First Council in the basement of the Council Building.”

“Thank you,” Caroline sighed out. She took one long look at her parents, hoping to capture her last moments with them even if they were under dire circumstances.

Liz immediately took her daughter into a hug, struggling to pull herself back. Caroline shivered mildly as her mother cupped her cheeks, smiling sadly. She felt her body trying to pull her back into the real world but she held on as much as she could.

“It’s unfortunate that I...we,” she glanced at Bill, “had to miss so much.”

Caroline sniffled as she endured her watery eyes, hoping not to let them spill over.

“I love you.”

“I love--” Liz began to speak but in a flash, Caroline, too, was gone.

Liz took a couple steps back, holding back the tears that threatened her eyes.

“I should have staked him. Could have kept him here longer,” Bill muttered.

“Shut up, Bill.”

#klaroline #the vampire diaries #klaroline fanfiction #caroline forbes #klaus mikaelson #fanfiction #the originals #drabble

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spnjediavenger · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 15: Insurance

Disclaimers: i do not own supernatural or any of its characters, nor do i own jenny; i only own elliana and anaya

@sarimaposthumous helped write some dialogue between ellie and lucifer and also the ‘flashback’ at the high priestess. And also proofread. Thanks babe <3

Time frame: Season 11-12

Warnings: angst; TRIGGER WARNINGS: brief implied sexual assault in recap, implied suicide attempt at very end (last few paragraphs) with blood mentioned

Notes: glad to be back in the swing of writing again. It took me awhile to get into this chapter and was only able to write a couple paragraphs at a time so it might suck but here it is anyway!

Please leave comments! Thank you for reading! <3

THEN

“Sam, Dean. Good to see you again. And who’s this with you? New travel buddy? I’m Lucifer, though I’m assuming you already knew that,” the devil said, talking directly to Elliana now. “What’s your name?”

“Go to hell,” Ellie said coldly.

“Oh, I just got out of there, sweetheart,” he easily countered.

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she spat, taking a challenging step forward. Sam and Dean pulled her back, causing Lucifer to smirk.

“I like her,” he said to the boys. “Feisty.”

“Lucifer,” Ellie said a bit distastefully, though her heart dropped to her stomach. “What do you want?” she snapped.

“Now now,” Lucifer tisked. “Damon, here, wanted to just kill you. But I had him bring you here instead. So you should really be thanking me,” Lucifer said, nodding as he continued. “I thought we could chat a bit – get to know each other.”

Lucifer put his hand on top of Elliana’s head, grasping it.

Ellie blacked out for a second before a mixture of images and feelings flashed across her mind. Her parents lying dead on the ground; falling to her knees, scared, and awaiting her death; Running fearfully from a demon; starving on the side of the road with no money left to afford a place to sleep; and-

Ooooh, what’s this? Lucifer’s voice practically purred in her mind - and Ellie could hear the smirk in it. Let’s play with this a little.

“You’re too weak. You’re powerless. There’s nothing you can do to stop me,” the vamp smirked. He fed off her until she passed out.

The rest of that day was filled with feelings of fear, powerlessness, and struggling. Her body being overtaken by his. Whatever innocence she had left from her last run in with him being stolen from her.

“All I know is that damn demon that killed her folks somehow found and possessed her, poofed her to Ohio, and dropped her off with Lucifer. He messed with her head then my contact found her. Crowley said she hasn’t said a thing since. Just been up in her room, huddled in the corner, terrified. My contact doesn’t know what Lucifer did or made her see - but she said Ellie won’t even let anyone touch her.”

NOW

Pain. That was the first sensation Elliana felt. She didn’t quite wake up; she didn’t breathe first. There was just pain. And she couldn’t tell which was worse - the physical pain, or the emotional pain.

Ellie had been writing in her journal when Garth came upstairs. “Hey Ells, I hate to pull you away before dinner but do you think you could make a quick diaper run? Jim had to go out and I was gonna help Bess feed the pup,” he asked. Elliana was more than glad to go out. It was good timing, too, since Anaya was due for a walk.

On their way, Castiel had appeared looking worked up. As soon as Cas had appeared, Anaya turned around and pricked her ears up apprehensively.

“Cas? What are you doing here?” Ellie asked cautiously, wondering why the angel would come to her since she was on hiatus from hunting; and even more so without calling or texting her first.

“Sam and Dean are in trouble and require your assistance immediately. If we had another option we would take it but you are the only one available.”

Once Cas spoke, Anaya quickly stepped in front of Ellie and lowered her ears and growled lowly at the angel.

“Anaya, what’s wrong with you?” Ellie asked, thoroughly confused. “It’s Cas!” she said, extending an arm towards him. Anaya took a challenging step forward and bared her teeth, snarling now. Elliana took these cues and pulled her angel blade out of her jacket, gripping it in an offensive position towards ‘Cas’.

“Who are you?” Ellie challenged.

“I know I’m in a different suit and all, but you still don’t know me?” the imposter said with a smirk. Their irises flashed a bright red and Anaya wasted no more time in lunging forward at Lucifer.

“ANAYA, NO!!!” Ellie screamed, trying to grab the dog’s collar. It was unsuccessful.

Lucifer flicked his wrist and it was done.

Anger, sadness, depression, fury, confusion; every emotion flashed through Ellie suddenly and all at once, sending her flying at Lucifer, angel blade pulled back to stab him in the chest but instead was met with two fingers to her forehead that sent her into a deep rest.

“Wake up, Ells!” a loud voice sneered, sending a splitting headache through Elliana’s skull. She squeezed her already closed eyes, now wet with tears, and turned her face into the floor; she now realized she was laying on a cold cement floor. A foot pushed her onto her side and she groaned, planting a hand on the floor to ground herself.

Cas- Lucifer paced idly around Ellie with a smirk as she roused, taking pleasure in her contorted face and bruised body.

“Have a nice nap?” he quipped, smirking still.

Elliana, face still turned into the pavement, said to him in a cracking voice, “You killed my dog. You killed Anaya.” She took a pause to let out a silent sob. “Why did you come for me? I’m not even hunting right now.” The girl now pushed herself up begrudgingly, every limb sore, and sat up against the wall behind her. “And I’m warded,” she continued. “How did you find me?”

Lucifer chuckled a bit, as if it was a silly question. “Jenny led me to you, of course,” he said. Ellie still was unnerved with Lucifer in Cas’ vessel; speaking in his voice.

The girl scoffed a bit, eyes still closed. “Yeah, right. Why the hell would Jenny do that to me? Especially when she was the one to get you away from me in the beginning.”

Cas-Lucifer gave the girl a smug look. “Oh, she never told you? That was all just a show. Jenny and I have quite the romance going on,” he smirked again (which Elliana was quite frankly getting sick of).

Ellie finally opened her eyes to squint at Ca- Lucifer. “Why would Jenny be with someone like you?” she spat. “The one that tortured me? She’s like a sister to me, and I’m one to her. And she was the one to help me get Sam back so you weren’t let out of the cage again.”

“Ohhh that little trip. Did you like her little nickname for me?” he said, ignoring her common sense.

Jenny scoffed at Crowley. “Do you really expect us to believe you want the Winchesters back in action? I’m sure business has been booming since they shoved Luci back in the cage and Dean hooked up with Lisa.”

“That whole trip was a pretty good coverup, minus the nickname slipup. That little ‘favor’ she owed me for letting you go? She had to get me out of the cage. But it turned out not to even be an issue for Jenny; she wanted me out,” C-Lucifer explained, still pacing in front of Ellie.

“No...no,” Elliana said, slowly shaking her head. “I don’t believe you. Jenny would never do that to me,” she continued, though her voice shook with emotion. She couldn’t help but think about what Lucifer was saying. Every cell in her body reminded her that he was the father of lies. He was just trying to beat her down. But how else would he have been able to find me? She thought. The guys don’t know where Garth’s place is and I turned the tracker on my phone off. And I’m warded so Cas/Lucifer wouldn’t be able to find me...and Jenny does keep tabs on a lot of hunters…

C-Lucifer smirked deeper, sensing the uncertainty in her. “Let’s go back in time then.” He approached her and lifted a hand towards her head, making her push herself further into the wall. “Don’t worry,” he soothed. “We’re not going to your past,” he continued, kneeling down and putting a hand on her head. “We’re going to mine.”

The two end up in The High Priestess to see Jenny on her laptop at the bar. Lucifer is standing next to Ellie with his arms crossed. Lucifer, who looks like Nick again says, “I took the liberty of changing into Nick for this little show-and-tell as opposed to your little winged friend.”

Ellie turned to see Castiel enter the bar and Jenny looked up at him, slightly taken aback by this handsome stranger. “Welcome,” she says. “Can I get you anything?”

“Just a whole lot of you,” Cas winks, his eyes turning red before blinking them back to normal.

“Lucifer!” Jenny exclaimed before leaving the bar and pulling him into a hug. He grabbed her face and pulled her into a kiss. Next to Ellie, Lucifer snapped his fingers and she saw the Castiel next to Jenny transform into “Nick.” Ellie looked at Lucifer who shrugged.

“Sorry, I couldn’t bear to see that goody two shoes angel all over my girl,“ he emphasized to Ellie to try to prove his point.

“You’re finally out of the cage!” Jenny exclaimed but took a step back to look him over. “But why do you look like this?”

“I just had to ride this vessel out to get out of there as fast as I could; I couldn’t wait to see you, babe. Not that you did much to help seeing as I was in there long enough. It seems like you didn’t even try to free me.” He stepped towards her almost menacingly, pulling a fake pout.

Jenny bit her lip and her shoulders slumped. “I’ll admit, I gave a half-hearted attempt to try to free you, but Ellie got me to try and help her free Sam and it was hard to do both without her knowing….” Jenny crossed her arms, looking at Lucifer who almost looked dejected. “And after you tormented her, how could I turn around and be with you again? I was just so torn.”

Lucifer pulled Jenny’s arms around him and held her. “So, you’re saying that without Ellie, we could be together? No uncertainties?”

Jenny slightly pulled back to look up at him, “Honestly, yeah. She’s a reckless girl who can barely keep it together to hunt properly. I’m always stuck worrying about her and yet again I am sacrificing my happiness for her,” Jenny sighed and put her forehead to his chest.

He brushed his fingers through her hair. “Don’t worry Jenny. I’ll take care of that brat for you.”

“You will?” Her question was muffled by his chest.

“Of course. Anything for you, babe.”

The Lucifer next to Ellie snapped his fingers and they were transported to Jenny’s room. They could see the two of them kissing and Ellie could tell where this was going.

“Enough!” Ellie barked, turning her head away. Lucifer was leaning against the wall watching the scene intently.

“Oh come on, this is the best part.” Ellie turns around, grabbing her hair in her hands. Lucifer sighed and said, “Ugh fine. Prude,” and snaps his fingers, taking them back to reality.

“Do you believe me now?” Ca-Lucifer asked. “She knows how much I hurt you but she still wanted to be with me. I almost hate to say this but her relationship with me seems to outweigh your safety and friendship. Guess she wasn’t who you thought she was after all. Which is all the better for me.”

Elliana closed her eyes again so Ca-Lucifer. It’s Lucifer! she had to remind herself. She closed her eyes again so Lucifer wouldn’t see the tears building up. She didn’t want to believe what she saw but...for some reason she did. And it broke her heart.

“So why haven’t you killed me already?” she asked through gritted teeth.

“What’s the fun in that?” Lucifer asked, acting shocked at the question. “Besides, I need to have something over the Winchesters when this whole battle-against-the-darkness thing is over. Don’t worry, I’ll check back regularly,” he fake-assured her. “If I can’t, I’ll have Damon do it,” he continued, his smirk reappearing. “But first, let me just take a little picture to show them...there we go.”

Then, he snapped his fingers and vanished; leaving Ellie with only her mind. And that was just about as bad as being stuck with Lucifer.

Sam and Dean were in the library of the bunker, reading through lore to try and find anything and everything on the Darkness. Sure, they had Lucifer’s eventual help, but they still needed a game plan. Both boys’ phones buzzed at the same time, Sam’s once - indicating a message, and Dean’s ongoing - Garth was calling.

Sam opened the message, seeing it was from Cas, and saw it had a picture attached but was taking time to download.

Dean picked up the phone and Sam glanced up at him when Dean greeted him.

“Woah, Garth - slow down, man. Ga-Garth! Calm down! Now, slowly tell me what’s going on,” he commanded, initially unphased by the lanky hunter fumbling over his words.

As Garth began explaining things to Dean, Sam glanced down at his phone again to see the picture from Cas had finished downloading. His heart dropped to his stomach when he pulled it up.

“Dean-”

“Sam-”

The brothers spoke over each other, frightened looks on their faces and they looked back at one another. Sam held his phone up for Dean to show him the picture. Before either of them could utter another word, the bunker’s door opened and slammed shut again. Cas sauntered down the iron stairs, his posture in itself an indicator to the boys that Cas was not the one driving at the moment.

The boys abruptly stood up, each pulling out their angel blade, and faced Lucifer.

“Now, now, boys, do anything with those little sticks in your hands and you kill your angel buddy. I don’t think you want that, do you?” he taunted.

“What did you do with Ellie?!” Sam and Dean yelled simultaneously.

“She’s safe. For now,” Lucifer said, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“What do you want?!” Dean asked, still wielding his angel blade. He knew it wouldn’t do a thing against Lucifer but he had to have some kind of defense.

“Elliana is...insurance,” he said. “I just want to be sure when this whole mess is over you don't do anything to send me back to the cage. I won’t do anything to her if you leave me be.”

Sam straightened up, still clutching his angel blade. “Yeah? And how do we know you won’t hurt her anyway?” he asked, not believing a thing Lucifer said.

“You don’t,” he answered right away. “But do you really want to take that chance?”

“Cas, come on; help us out, man,” Dean begged, voice still rough.

“Oh I’m sorry, Cas isn’t available at the moment - would you like to leave a message?” Lucifer said smugly, fully enjoying this game.

The brothers stood down, giving each other woeful glances. For now, there was nothing they could do.

Back in the cement cell, Elliana paced rapidly, running her hands through her hair.

This can’t be happening, she thought. I finally got away from it all. I was healing through therapy, I had a family life with Garth and his family, I was going to earn my degree soon. I was away from hunting.

Then her thoughts began to get darker, realizing what she was bound to be in for. Torture, extended solitary confinement, more traumatic memories connected with Lucifer and Damon.

No, Ellie thought once more. I can’t do this again.

Frantically looking around the room again, having already looked for ways out, her eyes stopped at the small mirror hung on the wall. Her heart clenched at the thoughts crossing her mind but her fear won control and she threw her fist at the mirror, shattering it into pieces. She took a moment to look at her broken reflection on the floor before picking up a piece of glass. The last thing she remembered was the warmth of the blood running from her throat and the fluttering of wings.

Chapter 16 ->

#supernatural #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn fandom #Sam Winchester #sam and dean #Sam and Dean Winchester #dean winchester #castiel #lucifer #Garth Fitzgerald IV

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zalrb · 6 years ago

Note

Hey zal! I really enjoy ur fics! Have u ever thought of writing a stelena fic where they reunite in the afterlife? Idk now that I’m typing it out it sounds kind of dumb but just an idea :) again ur an amazing writer and I’ll happily read anything u send out!

It’s not dumb at all!

****

Btw, I was listening to “Nitesky” when I wrote this, haha.

It felt weird to feel nervous in the afterlife. Now that she was dead, Elena didn’t expect to feel any earthly emotion. The joy that surged through her when she reunited with her family was different, it was a kind of spiritual fulfillment after years of a sorrow that never truly disappeared but now she was nervous because she’d made up her mind to see Stefan.

The afterlife was built upon instant gratification. All you had to do was think of a destination and you’d be brought there, think of the meal you wanted, the drink you craved and it would appear in front of you — it was the same with people. If you didn’t know where someone was you only had to want to find them and you’d be brought to where they were, unless they didn’t want to be found — it was everyone’s afterlife after all — and that was what had Elena anxious.

What if he didn’t want to see her? Be found by her?

It was an irrational fear, she knew that. Every day she could, she’d visited his crypt on Earth, he’d have to had sensed that. She’d spent years contemplating the indisputable fact that he could not, would not move onto this paradise until he saw her “one last time.”

“One last time,” she whispered aloud.

And now that wasn’t all they had, now they had eternity — something she’d promised him once — it just wasn’t the eternity they’d expected. She’d missed him when she’d been alive in a way, missed him with a lingering sadness. The kind of sadness where even during her happiest moments after his death, they could never be truly happy because they happened in a world in which he no longer existed.

In a way, she’d preferred the crushing drama of her sorrow when Damon had died, the way she knew she had to get rid of it, rid of his memory to just get through the day. It had been impossible to rid herself of memories of Stefan, they’d sustained her, fed her soul like he had when he was there, they brought her solace, comfort, joy but knowing she’d never feel what he’d made her feel when he was around inspired a never-ending melancholy deep within her.

Until now.

Elena took a deep breath. She was ready.

Bring me to Stefan.

In an instant, her childhood home disappeared only to be replaced with a setting Elena didn’t expect — the carnival site at Mystic Falls. It was night here. In front of her, she saw Stefan look up at the ferris wheel, the one they’d ridden the night Caroline turned. He stared up at it like he was searching for something, his eyebrows furrowed with such intense concentration.

She opened her mouth to say his name but her voice caught in her throat. The emotion overwhelmed her. He was there. Where she was. After all these years, he was real. They were real.

“Stefan?”

Something in his expression shifted even before he met her gaze. It was as if something within him broke open and his eyes blazed with, not a single emotion, but a wealth of them. Finally, he lowered his stare from the ferris wheel.

They looked at each other for a beat, only a beat, but years of longing, of unspoken words, of impossible conversations, of continued love passed between them before they succumbed to their desire to go to each other and embraced, hugging each other with furious passion.

Elena buried her face in the crook of his neck

as Stefan stroked her hair, his mouth atop her head

and with each passing moment, they held each other tighter with the knowledge and memory that the last time they’d hugged, he’d left her and her world had been forever altered, not for the better either.

Stefan closed his eyes, breathing her in, he wanted to be submerged in her scent, he’d missed it with indescribable agony.

It was the trick of the afterlife. Everything was supposed to be perfect here, peaceful, true serenity. As such, he hadn’t been aware of his feelings about Elena, hadn’t been aware of his own sadness at her absence from his existence, his peace had saved him from that but now that she was here, he felt everything to its fullest extent and all at once — that was his peace and it was almost too much to bear.

Elena felt herself slipping into him the way she had when they were together, felt the urge to meld with him, felt the inclination that came so naturally to her to just be with him and forced herself to separate from the moment while clinging onto him, forced herself to remember her promise.

“I did it,” she said. “I gave her the message.”

“What?”

“Caroline,” Elena said.

Stefan’s eyes snapped open. Caroline. The name was a sinking in his gut because now he knew. He’d told himself he came here, to this place, because of what it meant to him and Caroline, the bonds they formed as friends, as soon-to-be spouses, he’d allowed himself to believe that because he could remember them, remember what they were to each other, she was a part of his peace. And she was. But only a part. The truth was, he was drawn here because of the woman now in his arms, because of how it was a night of promise for him and Elena, a promise of a life together, of their bond, because even when paradise had been merciful enough to deceive him, something inside of him had always known that Elena was his true paradise.

#stelena #stefan salvatore #elena gilbert #the vampire diaries #dobsley #one shot #stelena fanfiction #stelena drabble #stefan x elena #elena x stefan #tvd #anti-tvd #anti julie plec #anti caroline dries #kevin williamson

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gimmetheheadcanons · 6 years ago

Text

don’t sit down, he’s moved your chair (1/3)

A/N: First Bonkai and barely edited so be gentle. Inspired by a funny post I saw on tumblr about purposefully hiring a nightmare Thanksgiving guest.

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Break a mirror//Roll the dice//Run with scissors through a chip and fryer fight//Go into business with a grizzly bear//But just don’t sit down ‘cause I’ve moved your chair. ----Arctic Monkeys//Don’t Sit Down Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair

---------------------------

1. The Deal.

“You won't believe what bomb my grams decided to drop on me three frickin’ days before Thanksgiving Elena!”

“Was it - now my child, you are getting too old to sit on my lap.”

The voice Bonnie Bennett found on the other side was unsympathetic and unmistakably male. She had been lazily pushing her shopping cart through the narrow aisles of a busy grocery store when Mr. Not-Elena’s surprise impersonation of her grandmother brought her to a sudden halt. Cue the chorus of irritated tongue clicks, a barrage of choice curses (all very colorful) and echoing groans from the shoppers behind her.

Bonnie ignored them all.

Yeah yeah, we hear you, she thought as a train of angry customers and their carts passed her by, but only after an exchange of death glares as a final parting gift. No one wanted to be here running last minute Turkey Day errands. Least of all Bonnie. But she’d been bulldozed by her grandma and in no mood to be so agreeable again.

What a sham of a holiday.

When she was done redirecting traffic with her free hand, Bonnie turned to the man on the other line – the one inexplicably answering her best friend’s cell. Feeling even less festive than she did a moment ago she made her demand for answers.

“Who is this?” She snapped.

The stranger simply chuckled in return.

“I mean it pal.”

“Pal?”

Another mocking laugh.

“They're your minutes.” The stranger declared before lowering his tone to be more sultry. Another borrowed voice, this time a phone sex line operator with the intention to seduce Bonnie.

“Who'd you want me to be?”

Of course. The theatrics should’ve given it away, but then again ‘obvious’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘less infuriating’.

Bonnie rolled her eyes as she figured out which idiot it was she was dealing with.

“Oh God. Damon.”

“Ding ding, well done.”

Who else would take such delight in rubbing salt into her wound.

“Aren't you too dumped to be answering your ex's phone like this?”

“Eh we're trying the whole friend thing.” Damon Salvatore finally responded and in his own voice, flippant and full of trouble.

Bonnie shook her head as she always did when confronted by Damon and Elena’s drama.

“And?” She asked but stopping short of adding the intended (and wholly judgemental) final part of that sentence: What else is new.

“It sucks. Massively.” Damon whined, and it was Bonnie’s turn to chuckle at his misery.

It took her a while to warm to the man her childhood friend made the monumental mistake of getting romantically involved with. But Bonnie finally did and now cared enough to make a mental note to schedule another intervention for him once the holidays were over.

The break up couldn’t have come soon enough and Damon just needed to hear that.

Still, it must’ve hurt like hell.

“Tell me about it.” Bonnie said with a little more kindness. She too was recovering from the end of a rough relationship. There was somewhat of an odd camaraderie developing between her and Damon Salvatore and perhaps that was the reason for it – bonding over the shared humiliation of being jilted by a Gilbert.

Except Bonnie was sure she’d gotten the short end of the stick. Her Gilbert, sweet baby brother Jeremy Gilbert, turned out to be a cheat. Damon, on the other hand, was far more culpable than Bonnie when it came to his heartbreak.

“You should hang up. Before she sees you.”

“Sees me doing what? What’s a little chinwag between pals?”

With no longer a mystery to distract her, Bonnie resumed her shopping. Departing from her grandmother’s grocery list, she almost swept clean an entire shelf of sugary snacks.

Straight into the cart you all go.

Necessary reinforcements, something to get her through the misery of the next few days.

“Honestly you’re acting a little paranoid Bon Bon. What’s wrong?” Damon said, further insisting his innocence with an artificial sweetness that even Bonnie, with all her cravings, found a little too sickly.

“So, we're just gonna pretend you weren't snooping around in her mail box? See who Elena's texting now you're supposedly done done.”

“Ha! Trick question. She isn't texting anyone...not anymore anyway.”

“Damon! You ca-”

“One second, got a quick text I need to send.”

Cut off mid-speech Bonnie could still hear Damon in the background reading aloud the messages he typed out on his ill-gotten device. She’d been forcibly made party to this unethical intrusion into Elena Gilbert’s personal life.

Great. More relationship awkwardness on the horizon.

“New phone who dis…question mark. Send. Block. New phone who dis…question mark. Send. Block.”

Growing impatient with his behavior, Bonnie tried to get Damon’s attention by calling out his name and a couple important facts about boundaries – all of which his disturbing ass chose to ignore.

“Aaand send. Aaand block. Okay done now.”

Damon was back.

“Damon what di – ”

“Hey, call me back on mine?”

And just as suddenly, Damon was gone.

----------- Bonnie had been shopping for about fifteen minutes when phone rang. It had been a strangely peaceful fifteen minutes, the chaos all around the store provided the perfect backdrop for some pensive sulking. Deep in thought yet frustratingly unable to formulate a plan to get out of Thanksgiving dinner this year, moping was all Bonnie had and she was prepared not to have it interrupted by Damon Salvatore.

Pressing to reject had bought another fifteen minutes of peace and Bonnie accomplished plenty with that time. Groceries had been paid for, then bagged, and placed in her Prius. She still no plan but the self-pity had begun to wane enough for her to want to pick up should the phone ring again.

It did, whilst she was on route to return her now empty cart, and this time she answered.

“Damon?”

Silence on the other end.

Bonnie cursed the pettiness of the man she could clearly hear breathing.

“Damn it Damon. Hello?”

When Damon eventually answered, Bonnie had her finger on the end call button and her car keys in her hand. The sun hadn’t set yet, but the temperature dropped significantly since she’d first gotten to the store. She watched as a wave of new arrivals fought over parking spaces, the escalating drama made it impossible for other drivers to leave further exacerbating the situation. By the carts, under a flimsily built shelter, Bonnie hugged her body against the November cold and decided to wait it out.

“So bombs huh?” Damon asked, he sounded a little out of breath. He was somewhere outside too. Out walking. Bonnie couldn’t help speculating as to why he’d suddenly decided to brave the fierce frost.

“Where’s Elena?”

“Oh I don't know Bonnie!” She could hear him shiver before he spoke and imagined his lips turn a biting shade of blue to match his eyes. Icicles hanging from his black hair and that stupid leather jacket, like something out of a Saturday morning cartoon.

“I'm not her babysitter. Didn’t you get the memo – we’re finished.”

Bonnie scoffed before placing the phone in between her shoulder and ear to free up her freezing hands. She then pushed them into the warm pockets of her long, red winter coat and there felt around for a pair of thick gloves.

In the end, she was only able to fish out one.

“Fine,” said Damon, misconstruing Bonnie’s silence as directed at him disapproval. “If I had to guess I’d say…out looking for her phone.”

“Oh my God, move on Damon!”

“This is not normal behaviour!”

She hadn’t intended on yelling so angrily that her phone nearly dropped to the ground, but Bonnie was furious. She’d just bought those gloves yesterday to match her knitted beanie, how could one be gone already?

“Oh shush. It's perfectly Ross and Rachel, trust me. We're gonna get back together. Maybe. Probably.”

The battle for parking continued to wage on, as did the icy wind and Bonnie needed better shelter at least until one of those things passed. Defeated, she headed back to the store she’d thought she’d just escaped.

“You know what Damon, the most disturbing part of that is you're probably right. But I got too much on plate for your drama so good luck to you both I guess.”

Just inside by the entrance, Bonnie found a nice heating vent to camp next to. She flashed the large security guard at the door an awkward smile and pointed to her cell phone, pretending bad cell coverage was the real culprit behind her return.

All she got in return was that menacing security guard scowl.

Anxious to stay indoors, Bonnie found herself turn to the desperate act of pleading with her eyes; a survival tactic she picked up from orphaned pups in a kennel she volunteered at one summer back in high school. Every day there, she tried to adopt them all and every day she was told she couldn’t.

“Helloooo Bonnieeeee?”

She could hear Damon singing her name, off-key and right into her ear. Each time a little louder, little more annoying. But Bonnie couldn’t risk breaking eye contact with the guard. Her hazel eyes were beginning to sting, her face ached from the unnatural width of her smile; it growing increasingly more manic and pained.

No one loitering here. Nothing to see sir, please move on.

Strange as it was, it somehow worked. An incident came in over the intercom and the guard called to action. Bonnie could stay and not lose a limb to frostbite.

Thank God for Thanksgiving tantrums.

“I’m still here Damon.”

“Finally! So, what exactly did wily old Sheila do?”

Crap, she’d almost forgotten it. The problem, still intractable and inching closer.

“Oh nothing except invite my disaster deadbeat mom for Thanksgivings dinner. Three courses of sweet emotional manipulation followed by forced reconciliation over coffee.”

“‘Tis the season I guess.”

“‘Tis not fair is what it is.” Bonnie immediately howled back then felt ashamed closely after.

Damon sounded a little more serious when he spoke next.

“So…How many years has it been?”

She sighed before taken a moment to do the math. Talking about the woman who birthed her then ditched her was always a sore subject for Bonnie.

“Six and before that seven I think. She just showed up one night, stayed half a day and left before dinner. Pulled the same crappy move the time before that. Except, she brought me a stupid doll I guess.”

“I was childish enough to think it was awesome.”

The memory of that cheap doll flooded Bonnie’s insides with bitter rage. What she didn’t tell Damon was how she was pretty certain the doll was something Abby Bennett picked up at a gas station just outside of Mystic Falls. Bonnie figured that out last summer when she, Elena and their friend Caroline Forbes planned to take their college tour road trip. Except, she didn’t make it past Whitmore; somehow, even with all those miles between them, Abby managed to ruin that for her daughter too.

“Ouch. Sounds like mommy Bennett is gunning for the illustrious Lilly Salvatore Award for Monstrous Mothers and Their Tortured Offspring.

“Ouch.” Bonnie said, meaning it. Damon didn’t often talk about his parents but oddly enough when he did it wasn’t with Elena. It was something Bonnie remembered her best friend call attention to night after night during the build up to the end of their doomed romance.

He won’t let me in Bon. Each time, he either laughs or lashes out. How am I supposed to deal with that?

As her friend poured out her heart, Bonnie poured herself another drink and kindly pretended she didn’t understand the appeal of shutting down, of keeping your loved ones out and precious sunny moments away from dark storm clouds of your past.

“I don’t want to see her Damon.”

“So don't go. Problem solved.”

“But I promised Grams. I didn’t mean to, but she worked her magic and somehow got to me.”

“Then go and bail after you’ve had a mouthful of tasty bird.” Damon said making it sound all so easy.

“But bailing isn't my thing. So…other options? Please.”

“Fine, stay. All the way till pie, have said pie and chew slow. Very slow.”

She was losing his sympathy, Bonnie could tell. Life was always easy for the Damon Salvatores of the world, consequences be damned. The only options were their way or their way but a little bumpier, littered with the bodies he had to mercilessly mow down.

“I can’t stay either.” Bonnie admitted. Just the thought made her queasy. Being sat opposite Abby for an entire day, being made to bite her tongue or make empty conversation about God knows what. Swallow all that hurt then let it fester inside her for another six or seven years until it bubbled up to the surface at the most inconvenient of times.

No, Bonnie wouldn’t be able to stomach it.

“Then we’re back to option a) Don't frickin’ go.”

“But Grams -”

“Well then that sounds like a you problem Bon. I gave you all your choices. Now pick one or call a friend.”

“I thought I was calling a frie – hello? Damon? Hello?”

A cold dial tone emitted from her cell. Damon’s voice was long gone, and Bonnie was left standing with one less thing to be thankful for on this crappy holiday – her so called friends.

“Jerk. What did I even expect?” Bonnie found herself muttering, at first angrily and then louder.

“Not meaningful advice. Oh no! Never from you Damon, you bloodsucking cold-eyed asshole!”

With her call completed, her nemesis the store security guard reappeared ready to add to Bonnie’s misery and kick her outside to either face the mayhem or mace-like wind.

“Ma’am, you’re not buying so I want you out of here.”

“I’m going! Jeez, just give me a second.”

“Sure, you were.” He snorted as he grabbed Bonnie by her arm and without warning began to steer her towards the exit. When she resisted the niceties were dropped.

“Out. Now.”

Bonnie was about to give the unreasonable man a piece of her mind and teach him a thing or two about personal space when another person got there first.

An onlooker, male, maybe college-aged and casually munching on a bag of what looked like pork rinds.

“Hey man,” He called out to the security guard, his voice light and non-confrontational. “You wanna back off a little? Really wouldn’t wanna lose a hand.”

The guard stopped long enough for Bonnie to free herself from his grip. He watched the guy with wary eyes as if trying to discern if an actual threat was being made. Bonnie understood the hesitation, there was something off about the way the words were delivered and yet on the surface Pork Rind Guy seemed only interested in consuming his gross snack. The relaxed grin he wore on his face, akin to that of an entertained moviegoer not a someone roaring for a throw down with a much larger man.

Every so often, in between bites, he’d attempt to throw a piece in the air and catch it with his mouth but be left smacking his lips at air like a fish; each portion bouncing right off the short brown hairs on his head and onto the floor. There, he’d kick at them with the grim looking muddy sneakers he wore on his feet.

He was a child, a man yes, but barely.

A nuisance.

Bonnie could tell the guard decided the same thing and was ready to dismiss the interfering stranger as such when Pork Rind Guy opened his mouth to speak again.

“Yeah…especially that one.” He said pointing at the guard’s left hand. “With it being so close to the holidays you’re gonna wanna keep the company.”

Bonnie’s eyes widened.

With a twinkle in his blue eyes and no regrets, Pork Rind Guy made a lewd gesture with his own left hand and laughed.

It was a great laugh. Free and big. The kind of laugh you’d hear as you passed a playground. Yet, Bonnie felt embarrassed by it and everything else about him. The gesture included. It was immature, meant to grate on you and it made her cringe a little.

The gesture had a different impact on the guard. His face flushed red with anger and Bonnie knew it was time to throw in the towel and just go.

As she used the distraction to quietly slip away, she could hear the burly security guard bark at the younger man and Pork Rind Guy’s response made her smile a little.

“You need to get out of my face son.”

“Could you like – not wave that so close to my face?”

“Get out of here! Right now!”

Bonnie glanced back just in time to see Pork Rind Guy throw her a wink. It came right after he’d finally succeeded in catching a pork rind with his mouth.

How childish, Bonnie thought, shaking her head but this time smiling a lot.

----------------

By the time Bonnie got close to her car, the traffic situation had died down considerably and she didn’t expect to be held up much longer; and yet, in typical Thanksgiving fashion, she’d been too hasty in giving thanks.

“Hey.”

Pork Rind Guy, materializing out of nowhere and coming in between her and her car.

Startled, Bonnie frowned and looked around to see if they’d be joined by their old friend the security guard, finally able to do his job and provide said security.

The question is, however, would she be needing it.

Pork Rind Guy seemed oblivious to Bonnie’s alarm. His right arm reached deep into the jumbo bag of rinds he still cradled and not her throat like the parking lot assailant Bonnie worried he might be.

If this encounter were going to turn into an NBC Dateline special then it’d have to wait whilst he hunted for crumbs.

When done, Pork Rind Guy cast aside the empty packet and finally addressed the perplexed person he’d delayed.

“So I just wanted to tell you – before you go – there is always one other option. Bring a date. A human buffer.”

It took Bonnie a full minute to gather her wits enough to follow what Pork Rind Guy was trying to tell her. She still didn’t understand how he managed to get away from the guard and out to the parking lot in time to catch her, why he did so and if he was a danger.

Keys readied in her fist, Bonnie asked for an explanation.

“Excuse me?”

Pork Rind Guy smiled and again it was full of boyish charm.

“Someone to draw fire and guess what? I got the perfect shirt for that!”

He puffed out his chest and pulled at the bottom of his t-shirt to straighten it out.

“See?”

What Bonnie saw was a logo, right in the middle and against the blueish gray of the rest of his shirt. It was red and round, like a bullseye but probably belonged to a band she’d never heard of.

“Draw fire at dinner.” He repeated, and this time Bonnie understood.

Pork Rind Guy was referring to her earlier conversation with Damon about Thanksgiving dinner with her mom.

Bonnie felt a chill and it had nothing to do with the weather. Had their run in earlier been planned and if so why? She examined the parking lot for others and was relieved to find they weren’t alone. Several shoppers still close enough to call on if things got unsafe.

Nothing about this guy felt right and Bonnie had heard enough. She snuck quick glance at the car sat behind him, her ticket out of this progressively creepy conversation. Good, Pork Rind Guy didn’t seem to be blocking the door. In fact, there was plenty of space behind him where Bonnie could pass him by and then get the hell out of there.

“Uhm thanks but I gotta go.”

“Hey hey hey! Wait a minute.”

In one quick motion, Pork Rind Guy positioned him directly against Bonnie’s door and successfully cut her off from her escape route.

Bonnie braced herself for worse to follow, but was surprised to see him then, just as smoothly, step aside. Nothing about this guy felt right, Bonnie knew that and yet she didn’t get in her car and drive away.

“What do you want?”

His lips curled into a satisfied smile when she turned to face him.

They were now stood a little too close for comfort. Bonnie could feel the hot air of his breath on her lips, see the goose bumps on the pale skin of his exposed neck and decided that’s where the sharp end of her keys would go if he took one more step towards her.

But Pork Grind Guy didn’t. In fact, he fell back, held up his hands and apologized.

“I'm sorry. That was weird right? Kinda? A little?”

Bonnie didn’t respond, just watched him with narrowed eyes as he took it upon himself to tally up all the reasons why everything he’d done up until now was inappropriate.

“No it's alright to admit it...that was weird. With me just showing up at your car like that. Outta nowhere with all this information about a conversation we personally didn’t have. I know, I know. I’m an eavesdropper. I admit.”

Another smile, brief and full of humor.

“And then that proposition? Yikes! What even was that? No, no, no. No good. at all!”

Bonnie relaxed a little but not enough to put away her car keys and retire her plans to go for the jugular.

“Let's try again. Hi, my name is Kai. Well it’s actually Malachai but since I'm trying not to frighten you away with a name straight out of Necronomicon I think Kai will do just fine.”

“By the way, have you seen that film? God, Bruce Campbell. What a guy right?”

“Sorry, rude again. What's your name?”

“Bonnie and I gotta head home now.”

“I’m expected.” She quickly added, angrily wondering why she told him her real name. Was it because earlier, he was essentially asking for her home address and this was the lesser of two evils?

Either way, she wouldn’t slip up again.

“I need go home now Kai. It’s cold and I’m very tired.”

Pork Rind Guy – no – Kai dropped his jaw when she said his name. It was exaggerated for effect, but she could see he was somehow flattered by the show of trust when she told him hers.

“Bonnie.”

He celebrated by repeating her name back to her, saying every letter with great purpose and pleasure.

“Nice to meet you Bonnie.”

“Well Bonnie, it sounds to me like you were having a rough day. Got a bit of a situation at the home front huh?”

“I wanna help with that.”

Bonnie blinked as confusion set in once again.

“Excuse me.”

“For the reasonable price of one home cooked Thanksgiving dinner. I, Kai Parker, will be your date.”

“Eh yeah…No thanks.”

Bonnie felt a little relieved but also self-conscious, was Damon right, was this perfectly normal and she just not to used to guys hitting on her?

“Oh no, you got it all wrong. I'll be your date. The one all girls sooner or later bring home to screw with their parents. I'll be the mistake.”

Kai continued to explain, and Bonnie again found herself not walking away when she easily could have.

“I've been told, on many occasions, that I'm every parent’s nightmare. Imagine, Grams drops a bomb and you Bonnie, drop a nuke.”

Every parent’s nightmare, why did Bonnie have no trouble believing that. Kai was cute but on balance also a major creep with awful taste so no, of course most girls would have no interest in inviting him home to meet their families. End of November and he’s dressed like a stoner extra in a bad nineties high school movie. Faded t-shirt and long sleeves combo, three-quarter cargo pants and sneakers.

In this weather.

Who does that?

Valid question Bon.

“And why would I invite a perfect stranger into my home?” She asked him, for the first time saying more than four words. He must’ve noticed too, how her curiosity got the better of her because his face lit up like a Christmas tree. It was too soon for that crap, Bonnie thought, gripping her keys a little tighter.

“Because that's the beauty of it! After Thanksgiving, I go back to being a perfect stranger. Who else can say that?”

“No baggage.”

“No offense” Bonnie said flatly and with all the offense. “But that sounds like BS.”

Kai appeared unfazed by her bluntness. As usual, the lack of warmth in her voice made him work only harder.

“If you ask me - which I know you're not but hear me out anyway – if you were asking me… what sounds like bullshit is having to spend Thanksgiving with a woman who gets to choose to walk in and out of your life at a moment's notice.”

“You should be able to the same Bonnie.”

“That's what I think.”

Bonnie inhaled deeply, thrown by the sudden sincerity with which he delivered that final line. She let a calculated stillness wash over her as she dealt with the sweltering emotion under the surface. She’d been affected by Kai’s words, the notion behind them appealing not to her but directly to the pain her small body had housed for all the years.

“Pork rind?”

Out of one of his pocket, Kai spontaneously produced a handful of the snack Bonnie saw him finish then offered it to her.

Bonnie’s eyes zeroed in on the lint particulars stuck to the grease of the rinds and declined.

“I can see why you're so eager to worm your way to our dinner table.”

Kai shrugged and stuffed the rinds back into his pocket. Eyes fixed firmly on hers, Bonnie knew there was another offer he was eager to see if she would accept.

If not rinds Bonnie, how about retaliation?

“What about your family? Won't they be expecting you?” She asked changing the subject.

“Not if they changed the locks as they promised they would.”

Again, Kai surprised her with his openness.

“Harsh.” Bonnie said yet not feeling the need to press Kai for any further details. In all her anger, she’d forgotten there were people out there who simply didn’t have families to spend Thanksgiving Day with.

“Not everyone takes to my winning personality as you have.” Kai replied appearing to have sufficiently recovered from the solemnness of the moment.

Bonnie laughed and saw Kai’s entire face beam as if the sound of her laugh had been his goal all along.

“Hold your horses buddy. I haven’t agreed to anything just yet.”

“Sorry manners.” Kai said before he began to obsessively kick at the gravel and the dirt under his feet.

“What is it now Kai? Dropped a pork rind?”

Satisfied he’d made enough of a clearing, Kai Parker got down on one knee and held up a single pork rind in between his fingers like an engagement ring.

Mortified, Bonnie’s face flushed at the sudden interest passing shoppers were beginning to show and the several prying looks being thrown their way.

Kai cleared his throat.

“Bonnie, will you let me spend Thanksgiving Day with you and your family? I promise to be on my worst behaviour. Promise to shake your poor unsuspecting mother to core and show her the dangerous road her awful parenting choices may have led her beautiful baby girl.”

A nod from her was enough of a signal for Kai to jump up to his feet and throw the absurd edible ring Bonnie refused over his shoulder; freeing up his hand for a more formal shake.

“Oh my bad.” He said only remembering to wipe the food grease from his palm and onto his pant leg after noticing the look of disgust on Bonnie’s face.

That look didn’t change much when finally, clean enough to be once more presented to her, Kai simply held his hand up to his face and grinned.

“Gotta make it legit right?” He told her before spitting straight onto his skin.

“No backsies.”

One look at the wet hand in front her and Bonnie knew her instincts were right.

Kai Parker was the worst.

Yet any hesitation she may have grappled with since meeting him was gone at the mere prospect of her mother coming to a similar conclusion and doing so over a plate full of turkey at Grams’s house. With a grin of her own and a generous amount of spit, Bonnie Bennett shook on the deal; feeling for the first time all day, especially thankful for the perfectly awful Thanksgiving dinner to come.

#bonkai #bonnie bennett #kai parker #tvd #r: gimme a platform #fanfiction

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firelxdykatara · 6 years ago

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This is dedicated to @itspileofgoodthings - it’s an expansion on an idea I had that I wrote a bit of immediately after the season 6 finale, and while I lost the original post completely in the nuke (thanks tumblr) this has been kicking around my head recently, largely thanks to all Maria’s awesome meta. Also consider this an internet hug cause I know you’ve been having a rough time of it lately. <333

Anyway, this is basically how I envisioned Elena waking up from the coma, all those years ago when I was still angry and raw over tvd’s treatment of my girl but just wanted her to be happy in any way I could manage it.

This isn’t edited or anything so just. Bear that in mind. It’s four am so the quality probably suffered greatly as a result. >.> Anyway, enjoy.

---

It could have been minutes, or years—time had very little meaning, in this place. She supposed, on some level—and when she could suppose things at all—it made sense. A magical coma didn’t have a whole lot of precedent to follow, but when one was cursed to sleep for what could easily be decades, the ability to mark the passage of time was kind of immaterial.

Actually, it would probably have served as an even more brutal form of torture. Elena wondered why Kai hadn’t thought of that.

Then again, she’d never really had a whole lot of experience with the business end of magic. That had always been Bonnie’s department, and now, thanks to Kai, she would never be able to see her best friend alive again. The moments of clarity were thrown into sharper relief against the backdrop of the formless cloud of an existence she drifted through, her body and mind perfectly preserved by the curse—kept in a limbo of semi-reality. Perhaps that was the point, if anything Kai did ever really had one. (He was a psychopath with no real plan except power and how to gain more of it. It wasn’t all that surprising, in hindsight.)

Those moments when things did solidify, Elena never could quite tell what caused them. Sometimes, she almost thought she could hear Damon’s voice, whispering her name—a prayer, almost, or an oath. A promise. There was a giggle she thought could be Caroline, or her brother’s crooked smile, flashing like lightning across her mind’s eye.

Sometimes she saw Aunt Jenna, and her parents.

“It’s not time yet, sweetheart,” Miranda Gilbert said once, smiling sadly from the other end of Wickery Bridge, the petals of calla lilies cascading around her like rain.

Elena wanted to protest. To run across the bridge and hug her mother—but she stood rooted to the spot, and the scene shifted and vanished, and she was alone again.

When the loneliness became too much, the realization that she was completely alone in this place that tasted bitter on her tongue and cut like a knife, sometimes a memory would surface. Her first date with Matt, long before her parents died and Elena began her journey that started with the gloomy graveyard girl and ended in a coffin for who knew how long—and, really, how was that for irony?—or the first night she stayed up with Damon, curled up together and just… talking until the sun came up and Elena had the first real taste of forever.

A stray thought might make her wonder if she was reliving firsts because she was worried about all the lasts she was missing. But she tried not to think about that, and it was easy—thoughts ran like water, and slipped through her fingers just as quickly.

So, she had no idea how much time had passed, when something happened that hadn’t since right after she’d gone to sleep.

Someone else was here with her.

Her surroundings took form—familiar, achingly beautiful in its simplicity, and far more real than anything her own mind had been able to conjure up. And when she saw her visitor, she knew just what it meant.

“Oh, Bonnie. No.”

Tears welled up, part sadness, part sharp relief at suddenly being, part agony over that relief—because it could only mean one thing.

Bonnie Bennet looked as if she hadn’t aged a day, but when she was spoke it was with the voice of age and wisdom. “Elena.” It almost sounded as if she could hardly believe it, herself. “I’ve missed you.”

The tears fell as Elena ran forward, enveloping her friend in a hug. “Please tell me this isn’t happening,” she whispered, her voice thick as she pushed it out past the lump in her throat. “You found some other way. Right?”

Bonnie pulled back, saying nothing, but tracing Elena’s face with her eyes. She reached out with one hand, brushing the tears from her friend’s cheeks, shaking her head slowly. “It’s my time, Elena. It was going to happen some day—you know that. I just wanted to see you one last time before I died.”

“But you’re not… I mean, you’re still so-”

“Young?” Bonnie interrupted with a laugh. “This is a dream, Elena. I can look however I want.” Slowly, though, her appearance changed—wrinkles appeared, laugh lines and crow’s feet and hair shot through with grey and white. “Though I do look damn good for a hundred and twenty,” she added, and the look on her face was so unmistakably Bonnie that Elena couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“You’re ok with this?” Elena asked, her eyes earnestly searching Bonnie’s face. “Was your life everything you wanted?”

A smile spread across Bonnie’s wizened face, and the years melted away again. “You look out for my grandkids, and they can tell you all about my life.”

“Grandkids?!”

Bonnie’s eyes sparkled when she laughed. “I fell in love. I lived my life, and raised a family, and got to see the world. I was happy. I promise,” she added, pulling Elena back into a hug.

It felt more like a goodbye.

“Now it’s your turn, Elena Gilbert,” she whispered, and then everything went dark.

For the first time in a century, Elena’s eyes opened.

She gasped at the sudden onslaught of sensation—there was sunlight streaming between the blinds, and everything felt fresh.

There had been a certain stale stillness to everything in the dream world after a while, but this, she knew with sudden and painful clarity, was real.

And the pain was because she hadn’t moved in a hundred years.

It felt as if a million hot little knives were poking at her feet and her hands and sending fire through her veins as every major muscle group screamed in protest. One hand was gripped in Bonnie’s—it was then Elena noticed her friend’s body, the aged version she’d seen briefly in her dream, lying next to her on the bed. She could so easily have been sleeping, and tears stung at the corners of Elena’s eyes. She pressed a gentle kiss to her friend’s cooling cheek, and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

She only stumbled a step, a pained whimper escaping from her throat, before the door to the room burst open and in a rush of displaced air, he was at her side, catching her before she fell.

Damon. Damon Salvatore. And the sun seemed that much brighter.

“Damon?” she whispered, voice rough with disuse, as she looked up into his eyes—those startlingly green eyes that made her toes curl.

“You’re awake,” was all he said, sounding for all the world like a drowning man who’d finally remembered how to breathe.

Or, perhaps, remembered why he wanted to.

It all fell into place, after that. Stefan and Caroline were in the living room waiting, and one of Bonnie’s granddaughters, all of whom filled her in on the passage of time, everything that had happened while she was asleep.

The first thing she did was visit the family plot. “I’m sorry, Jer,” she whispered, kneeling in the grass in front of his tombstone. “I missed everything, didn’t I? My niece’s grandson is older than me!” She laughed, while tears rolled down her cheeks. “But you missed some things too.” She brushed the tears from her face. “Damon’s human, now. He took the cure from me after I woke up. I guess he spent the past century making sure the whole world thought the cure was destroyed—last thing we need are vampires coming around when we can’t defend ourselves, right? And Bonnie’s gone, but I hope you guys have plenty of company on the other side, now. Or whatever it is that happens after we die. It’s kind of nice not to know, actually. Feels weird, not having some immortal out for my blood anymore, knock on wood. But I wish I could’ve gotten to see you grow up. Better be saving a spot at the table for me, you hear?” She shook her head, running her fingers across the etchings in the stone that marked her brother’s name. “Wish you were still here, Jer. But I’ll be ok. I promise.”

Later, Caroline was only too happy to help Elena settle into a new identity and get her back into medical school. This time, she managed to actually attend most of her classes. Damon had that bar he’d gotten for himself while still a vampire, and, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Damon is actually happy as a human,” Caroline said, months later.

Elena gasped in mock outrage, and her friend raised her hands placatingly. “I’m not saying it’s a surprise he’s happy with you—just, I always thought he’d feel some… regret, for giving it all up.”

“Damon’s forever was always Elena,” Stefan spoke up as he entered the kitchen.

“You know, it’s super not fair that you both still have superhuman eaves-dropping skills,” Elena remarked, then laughed, throwing a few more things into the chilli. “But… you’re not wrong. I was surprised, too. But I’m glad he is. I never wanted him to have to sit by and watch me wither away.”

“Now you can wither together,” Stefan quipped. Elena threw a celery stalk at him.

It was… perfect. An almost idyllic life. Of course, there were issues. There always would be—that was life, and perfect as it may have seemed, it was still real. But Elena and Damon had always been that. Real. Messy and imperfect, and they had their arguments, but somehow, a normal human life was so much more survivable without immortals trying to kill them.

Really, it wasn’t the end of their story—just the beginning. The beginning of another story, too, as Elena discovered not long after.

“What is it, baby?” Damon asked, in that way of his, the slight hitch in his voice when he thought Elena was in trouble or hurt and needed to be able to fix it. The way his eyes focused on hers, as compelling as ever, even human as he was. “What’s wrong?”

Nothing. Oh, god, for once, nothing at all, she wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come. Tears were filling her eyes, but they weren’t from sadness, nor anger. And, finally, she found her voice.

“I’m pregnant.” And the only word for the light in her eyes was joy.

#delena #my writing #delena fic

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starlessskies94 · 6 years ago

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The Mark of a Soulmate (Negan/BlakeAU)

Soulmate AU-When a soulmate is near or about to come into one another’s lives; their names magically appear on each others bodies like a tattoo.

I’m really enjoying writing this and hope people are enjoying reading it; if it’s not too much trouble I’d love some feedback on my writing just so I know that people are happy with how I write things! Thank you! ♥️ Special thanks to @neganandblake for all your support I’m very excited about this fic so your help and advice is so appreciated lovely ♥️You’re a sweetheart; wonderfully talented and I’m sending you all the hugs lovely ♥️♥️

Chapter Three

The music was loud and repetitive and if Blake was honest after a few hours; it was starting to give her a headache. Still she was there to do a job and as her management team were waiting just on the other side of the door by the runway; she would wear the smile and play the part they expected from her.

Her hair was over-fluffed and pinned back; the hairspray making her itch after a while. Sitting at the makeup table; she quickly glided the foundation brush across the mark on her wrist. Her heart aching at the thought of covering it again.

But she wanted to keep it quiet for as long as she could. Not only would she be overrun with questions, but her manager would more than likely want to spin the whole thing as some sort of publicity stunt. No...if she was going to find Negan; whoever he was; she wanted to find him on her own terms.

“I swear if these pretentious morons bitch about the lighting one more time, I’m gonna go crazy!”

Blake smiled at the makeup artist storming in through the dressing room door; her nostrils flared and hands clenched in anger.

“Rough night?” Blake asked as she shifted in her stool sat in front of the large lit mirror.

“You don’t know the half of it Blake; seriously... Gina has been on my ass all night about keeping to her damn ‘schedule’. Keeping everything perfect for the show; I swear if that woman criticises my work one more time; I’m going to shove that fucking schedule so far up her-“

“Tara. Relax.” Blake said as she slid from the stool; taking Tara’s hands in hers. “I know Gina is hard to work with sometimes but you just have to grin and bear it a little longer until you hear back from that job interview.”

Tara sighed heavily. She knew the blonde was right; she had to keep her cool but with a boss like Gina it was hard at times. And if it wasn’t for Blake, she knew she wouldn’t have the job in the first place. After becoming close friends over six years ago; Blake and Tara had become as close as sisters.

And with Tara working on making a name for herself as a makeup artist; she’d held onto her dream of working behind the scenes on her favourite zombie show. Blake remembered all the nights they’d stayed up late drinking wine as the young brunette enthusiastically told her all about her dream job.

The prosthetics, the fake blood. It was a masterpiece in its own right. Tara had always had a love for gore and the thought of finally doing horror makeup was a dream she had held tightly.

Blake admired her friend’s ambition; to chase the things she wanted in life so fearlessly. Her life as a model was hard and long earned but she still sometimes wondered if it was what she truly wanted in life.

If she was honest with herself she didn’t see herself doing this kind of work for much longer... the standards were becoming too high and the constant need to look perfect was becoming exhausting to her.

Perhaps it was time to think about finding something else. Maybe look for her soulmate; settle down and live a quiet life.

Her overwhelming thoughts were quickly picked up by the brunette; her eyes squinting in curiosity.

“You okay? Damon said you were supposed to be in wardrobe ten minutes ago...”

Blake forced a smile before turning back to the over cluttered makeup table.

“I’m fine. Really. Just finishing up here then I’ll go.”

Tara didn’t waste any time following the blonde; leaning against the table, her eyes never leaving Blake as they narrowed in concern.

“Blake, I know that look. So please don’t lie to me. Or at least tell me why you’re using all my very expensive foundation. That shit is not cheat.”

Tara smiled tilting her head to get a better view of Blake’s wrist; the dark marks of cursive letters slightly faded by the ivory cream.

“What is it you’re trying to cover up anyway?”

Blake knew she’d have to tell Tara the truth; her stomach fluttering with butterflies again as she took a tissue and wiped the makeup away. Tara’s eyes widening when she realised what she was looking at. Brown eyes meeting green as Blake beamed with a smile as her friend giggled in excitement.

“Holy shit! No way!” Tara exclaimed as she took a hold of Blake’s wrist to get a better look.

“Negan huh...interesting name, interesting guy then?”

“I don’t know yet.” Blake shrugged. “I haven’t met him yet, you could’ve told me how much it hurt though when the mark appears Tara.”

“Yeah sorry about that. Its kinda hard to explain it without experiencing it yourself. When Denise’s mark appeared on my hip; I legit thought I was dying.”

Blake laughed as she glanced back at her mark. Her smile fading at the thought of when she would finally met her own soulmate. Tara had been pretty damn lucky to meet Denise not even a day after her mark appeared. Of course that had only been because Denise worked in the same studio and she had accidentally backed into Denise’s car in the parking lot.

But Tara had still always sworn it was a kickass story to tell their future kids. And truth be told; Blake was a little jealous of how easy it had been for the couple.

It had been weeks since her mark appeared and she was still no closer to meeting this mysterious man.

Her bubble was quickly burst by Gina popping her head around the door; reprimanding Tara for not working and insisting that Blake get her ass to wardrobe before her manager caught wind of her not following the show’s schedule.

Tara did as instructed but not without rolling her eyes and uttering a string of curses and insults aimed at the older controlling woman; following her back through the door.

Blake quickly made her way into wardrobe; slipping into her dress. Ignoring every snide comment from Damon about being late.

The music becoming louder with each step she took towards the runway stage. Gina wizzing around, fussing over the models and chaos that was backstage. Designers obsessing over last minute details. Stylists and makeup artists adding finishing touches before the ladies took to the stage.

It was all white noise to Blake by the time it was her turn. Her mind now fully entranced with the thought of her soulmate.

Constantly wondering if he was in the crowd or part of the security outside. Perhaps he was a waiter or bartender serving fashions brightest stars.

Her heart ached at the prospect of never finding him. Her checks beginning to pain her against the fake smile she wore along with the make up and expensive clothes.

Tara had always said it took time to find a soulmate and maybe she’d been right but Blake was growing tired of waiting. It was time to make things happen for herself instead of waiting for life to do if for her.

And so as she struck her poses under the hot staging lights; and the approval of the applauding crowd, she made a promise to herself that come the next morning she would start on her mission to find her soulmate.

To finally find Negan.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

#neganandblakeau #neganandblake #negan walking dead #negan edit #negan oc #starlessskies writes #writing

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coldasswar-blog · 7 years ago

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Hello! I just wanted to say that I'm also a big fan of jamion and it's my favorite ship. Is so sad that there is not much material on them, I wondered if you read fanfics of them and if so could you recommend some?

Hi! Thank you very much for the message! I also was very sad about the lack of content about Jamie and Damon and that’s why I started this blog. So… I don’t think that I will recommend you something that you have not already read in english:

dead jamion community on livejournal

http://jamionfans.livejournal.com/

fanfics on ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Damon%20Albarn*s*Jamie%20Hewlett/works

and amazing OTP3 with Graham

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209011

AND THAT’S ALL!!! I AM LITERALLY CRYING… BUT!!! I am from Russia and I write a lot of Jamion things in russian for my friends and myself. WE ARE DISCUSSING SO MANY HEADCANONS EVERYDAY AND WE HAVE SO MANY AUs, SMUT AND IDEAS… So if you know russian - you can easily write me and we will discuss how you can read some of our ideas or even maybe join our creative command. I think that a couple of English-speaking people hate me wildly now :”D. Yeah, OLL MY LOIF we drink vodka, hug our bears and write jamion stuff on the daily basic.

I wish I could translate everything for you, but it is even hard to answer your question properly, but If you want - I can shortly discribe our AU ideas, ask if you are interested.

That’s all, jamion-folks! I am sending you the rays of love!

#jamion #q&a

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notgoingtohappen · 7 years ago

Text

Revenge, Interrupted (Part 4)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3]

A/N: So, this is a shorter chapter, but this is my first time writing something like this so please bear with me. I promise the next 2 chapters will be longer than usual!

Stefan thought that Damon and Elena honestly looked relieved at the sight of him and Caroline snuggled together on the couch at six in the morning.

“Morning, brother and brother’s new and very busy girlfriend.” Damon announced.

Caroline glanced up, confused. “Oh, hey Damon. I have so much to read before my interview. Elena, can you start looking at the prices here? I really like the layout of this loft so this building seems good…”

“Woah, slow down, Care, I just woke up.” Elena rubbed her eyes sleepily and stumbled onto another couch, grabbing the coffee and gulping it down as if it was water.

“Do you not want a place to live? Fine, ask Bonnie.” Caroline replied.

“We’ll do it! Not to worry, you just do your thing, prepare and stuff, ace the interview. Don’t stress so much.” Elena reassured her.

Caroline looked tense for a second and sighed, leaning back more relaxed, obviously relieved, except she was sinking back into Stefan and he didn’t expect this much contact and tried to retain a neutral expression.

“Okay, well could I borrow some cab fare, Elena?”

“I can drive you, it’s really no problem,” Stefan said earnestly. He had that application to complete, but he could do it later. He liked spending time with her.

“Oh, no that’s okay, I can take a cab or the sub or something…”

Caroline broke off when Stefan shot her a random smile.

He had realised both Damon and Elena looked a little confused, wondering why they were acting so formal for two people now dating.

Caroline seemed to notice too, so she mumbled “Okay, thanks” and reached up to give him a quick peck on his cheek.

He hoped to god he wasn’t actually blushing and got up to grab the keys, trying not to think about how fast his heart had started beating when Caroline suddenly moved her lips close to his, and how tempted he was to change it into an entirely different kiss.

But that was unacceptable. They had a plan with clear cut terms, and nowhere did it actually say feelings or, well, anything real. This was much-needed revenge against their jerk friends.

He couldn’t mess it up and put her on the spot just because he had zero cognitive control and sometimes found himself staring at her golden hair and had felt peaceful and contented like he rarely ever did when he was sitting with her.

It was nothing, he was just hung-over.

He didn’t say much during the car ride and neither did she, but it was easy companionship. He realised with a stab of hope that they could still be friends; they already got along so well and liked each other, well, as people.

Plus they would be seventh and eighth-wheeling because the four college buddies were two couples, and that left Stefan and Caroline out a little.

It was good they got along well, then.

He pulled up next to her hotel and she seemed to hesitate a little.

“Stefan, I just wanted to make sure, what about us when we’re not acting like a couple in front of them?” She asked uncertainly.

Stefan didn’t miss a beat. “We’re friends.” He said simply as if it was what he really wanted and believed.

She gave him a nod and a small smile. “I like that plan.”

“Good luck for your interview, and don’t stress because how could anyone not hire someone as determined and hardworking as you?”

He wondered if maybe he’d gone too far by saying that, but she beamed at him and leaned over to hug him, and his arms went around her waist and hers went around his neck. It was more intimate than he’s expected, but he was coming to realise that Caroline was just a physical person and it showed in her gestures.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, and he absentmindedly noted that her hair smelled like flowers, like their gardens back at the Salvatore Estate during the spring when hundreds of flowers bloomed at once.

She got out and made her way up but paused halfway through the stairs, turned and let out a little laugh. He stared at her in confusion, and she ran down the steps and back to the car. She poked her head into the window and grinned brightly at him.

“You know what? I just imagined Elena’s face when she hears we broke up and I let loose the drama. All of their faces, really. And then their faces when they find out we lied to them like they lied to us.”

He grinned along with her. He had to admit it was going to be hilarious to see Damon’s reaction.

“You know what we should do? Send them a selfie.” She whipped her phone out and got back in the car, and quickly snapped a picture of the two of them, drew some hearts on it, set it on the black-and-white filter and sent it to Bonnie, Elena, and Damon.

“Okay, see you later!” She pulled away and got out of the car.

And for some reason he stayed there and watched her walk away, feeling a little unsettled because how was it that he already missed her company?

He wondered if she would turn back to look at him, and at the last moment, she paused at the topmost stair and turned to look at him, and they just stared at each other for a few seconds, before she waved at him and pushed the doors open and was gone.

[Ch 5]

#any thoughts? too cliche? too fast? too slow? too dumb?#steroline #steroline fanfiction #steroline fanfic #steroline au #ri #i meannnn this was supposed to be a cliche over to top light fic #but i dont want it like TOO ott you know?

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seesgood · 7 years ago

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WOO JEROLINE HC

&. GIVE ME AN AU, I’LL GIVE YOU 5 HEADCANONS / IDEAS.

NO. 1: i mean, i feel like it kinda goes without saying but, they’re really bad at keeping their hands off of one another. so when they’re together but can’t be together because they still don’t want people to know, it probably kills her. so every excuse she can get to maybe touch him at least just a little bit is taken without hesitation. like “oh you need someone to pretend to be the vampire that jer has to stake? i’ll probably end up on my back with him on top of me? i volunteer as tribute.”

NO. 2: damon knows. like literally right away. mostly because care is awful at hiding it. ( she keeps looking at him and grinning and biting her lip and if it were sexy eyes it would be one thing but it’s not even that she’s eye sexing him it’s that she’s like eye ‘making you breakfast in bed and combing fingers through sleep mussed hair’ fluffing him ) but he doesn’t say anything. because either he’s got that whole like ‘trying to impress elena by playing big bro to her little bro’ thing or he just really likes leverage.

NO. 3: the biting thing is...a thing. a thing that she’s super cautious about and paranoid about when he first asks and the first couple of times that they do it but then once she gets used to it, and once he fully convinces her that ‘no one’s gonna think you’re damon-ing me’ its a definite, regular thing that will make her turn tomato-red if anyone ever finds out. first of all, blood from the vein is infinitely better than blood from a bag. second of all, he’s pretty much all too willing, and third of all, the noises he makes are just an added bonus. and she definitely knows that she’s breaking friend code and send herself straight down to hell because he’s elena’s little brother and she definitely gets all sorts of turned on when he so much as gets so much as a paper cut at this point.

NO. 4: they are both insanely protective of one another. and that’s probably how most everyone finds out about them. because she won’t just let them send him knocking on deaths door with nothing but a gilbert ring to protect him. and he won’t let her just be put up as bait with fingers crossed that it won’t get her killed. and the shitty thing is, she had no idea they really used him that much until it became all she ever noticed, until she wouldn’t be able to sit still or breathe properly until he was standing in front of her living and breathing and probably hugging her and promising over and over that he was okay. putting it simply: the thought of losing him terrifies her. like terrifies her.

NO. 5: okay but bear with me on this total deviation from weirdly explained canon plot lines: but once they find out jeremy has the hunters mark and once they realize what it does to him, caroline is adamant that they not use him in order to find the cure. even if he maybe thinks its fine, she refuses to risk him like that. or let him risk his sanity or whatnot for them. but then, in an effort to find another member of the five, caroline maybe kinda accidentally kills one and instead of elena getting stuck with the curse, it’s caroline. and things get angsty af.

ALT. NO. 5: bc i had this one half typed out before anyway --- once they’re like totally found out, they’re disgustingly cute. like seriously nauseating. like the pda is real. he’ll pull her closer to him, she’ll sit on his lap, and kiss him every two seconds and give him that totally lovesick smile and it makes everyone want to throw up but also, its probably the happiest anyone’s seen either of them.

#hauntedgilbert

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kmze · 8 years ago

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One Hell of a Lucky Guy

Steroline (sort of?) AU future fic - prompt what if Caroline meet one of Stefan’s doppelgangers in the future. Chapters: 1

Chapter 2

Caroline paced around the main entrance of her school trying to make sense of the events from two days ago while downing her third cup of coffee that morning. Besides the needed caffeine intake her appetite was insatiable. She’d eaten a three egg western omelette, five pancakes, three waffles and more bacon then she’ll ever admit to. She knew she needed to chill, this was a completely normal occurrence after all, well “normal” being relative to the balance of magic and nature creating doppelgangers of the first original immortals, but normal none the less. This wasn’t even the first Stefan-ganger she’d encountered, thinking back to poor Tom Avery who ended up being a sacrificial lamb to the travelers decades ago.

However this was the first one after her Stefan had died, the man she’d love forever, her husband, and now he’d manifested in front of her eyes and as someone so different. I mean he gave her a bear hug and he had no idea what the right thing to say was and he was funny, not that Stefan was never funny but she could count on one hand the amount of jokes he actually made over eight years of knowing him.

Still lost in her thoughts Caroline was instantly startled by the abrupt opening of the boarding school door followed by a boisterous “Good morning Blondie!” that could only belong to one person.

“You know Damon you don’t actually live or work here so it would be polite to knock and not barge in like an overgrown gorilla unannounced all the time,” she scolded him knowing he wouldn’t care either way.

“But then I wouldn’t be privileged to seeing that annoyed like pout on my favorite sister-in-law’s face and then how could I start my day off in the proper way?” he smirked back at her crows feet adorning his eyes and his black hair having officially reached the ‘salt and pepper’ phase of mortality. “Anyway where’s your bourbon I’m thirsty and our house is out, apparently Elena thinks I drink too much.” He casual asks though he knows exactly where she keeps her secret stash in the main hall.

“Damon no! One it’s 10am and two Elena is right, you’re not an immortal vampire anymore with natural healing abilities and you saw what happened to Ric I don’t need you dying of live cancer too.” She said as she quickly vamped over to her locked liquor cabinet before he gets his hands on the key.

“Buzzkill” Damon murmured. Caroline rolled her eyes saying “anyway I need you sober because I have a crisis on my hands that I need to talk to you abou-” just as she was about to finish her sentence they heard a knock at the door.

“Well go answer the door for the civilized folk headmistress” as Damon bowing towards the door as she walked past him making sure to take the key to her liquor cabinet just in case.

“Let me just deal with this and then we need to tal-Oh my god Paul, um hi?!” Caroline tries to save her shock at the last second knowing this was not how she wanted Damon to find out about Paul “I um I wasn’t expecting you for another couple of days for Grace’s entrance tour did I send you the wrong date?” knowing full well there’s no way in hell she’d give out the wrong information.

Paul smiled that big toothy grin again before explaining “Nope you made it very clear Monday at 11am sharp this is completely impromptu on my part it’s just when I told Grace she was accepted she was so excited, knowing she’d get to be around kids just like her I don’t think I’ve ever even seen her that excited before” he said as his smile got even wider “so I just had to come by in person again to give you another thank you and these” as he revealed a bouquet of daises from behind his back “are for you.”

Caroline couldn’t help but blush and bite her bottom lip at the gesture. How the hell did he know daises were her favorite “these are lovely Paul and that’s so nice but so completely unnecessary” as she brought the flowers to her nose to take a quick sniff and noticed Paul taking a quick glance at her lips “I am just thrilled that Grace is so excited to join us and…” she suddenly heard a loud “AHEM!” from behind her snapping her out of her haze.

“Oh wow I’m sorry I knew I should have called first, I had no idea you already had a meeting with one of the other parents I should go” he quickly tried to retreat before Caroline looked behind her shoulder at the look of Damon’s face, the face of a guy who was looking at a ghost. Paul seemed to notice the look Damon was giving him and instantly Caroline heard his heartbeat pick up the pace wondering why this guy was looking at him like he either wanted him dead or he should be dead.

Even if this wasn’t how Caroline wanted to break the news to Damon it did give her some pleasure that it made him just as uneasy as it did her. “Oh no he’s not a parent that’s just Damon, Damon Salvatore.”

“Oh god I just made this even worse I should have known this I mean you have a ring on your finger of course you’re married and here I am bringing flowers to a married woman I really have no tact at all just I should go before I make this worse. Just please don’t take my insensitively out on Grace.” Paul quickly tried to run away as fast as he could before Caroline interjected “Oh GOD NO Damon isn’t my husband, ew” she made a nauseated shake to emphasize the point.

Paul let out a slight sigh of relief before Caroline continued “Damon is my brother-in-law, my late husband’s much much older brother, this” she points to her ring “is my widow’s ring, I had it made after he passed” she tried to smile to somehow relieve the awkwardness filling the room.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, my wife – Grace’s mom – she passed away too during childbirth” he took a slight pause before saying and Caroline realized then why things had probably been so hard on Grace her whole life. It’s one thing to lose your mother before you even meet her but knowing it was while giving birth to you is the kind of devastation no one should ever have to face especially a child.

Suddenly taking her out of her thoughts Paul brought his focus back to her “I’m sorry for your loss Caroline” as he reached for her hand and gave it a slight reassuring squeeze and suddenly the entire room disappeared and all she could think about was Stefan taking her hand outside her Mom’s house when she thanked him for being there for her when her Mom was sick. He began to draw circles around her hand and offered a comforting smile and Caroline couldn’t help but turn her attention to her hand while letting out a slight gasp.

“My loss too correct, hi I still exist” Damon interrupted their haze before reaching for Paul’s hand forcing him to let go of Caroline’s to give it a firm imposing shake staring at him dead in the eyes to the point he must have seen his soul.

“Of course man how rude of me, name’s Paul Corbett really great to meet you” he said shaking Damon’s hand “but let me stop imposing on your family time I just wanted to stop by and thank Caroline again, really amazing job you’ve both done with the place I’m sure your brother would be proud, I’ll see you on Monday Caroline” he beamed a smile at her before closing the door behind him.

As the door shut completely Caroline lifted the daises to her nose taking a nice long sniff again before they were rudely knocked out of hands by her jerk of a brother-in-law “Damon! There’s no need to take your anger out on the flowers, they’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Nothing wrong huh? They were brought here by evil, the most nefarious evil we’ve encountered Carebear and that is including the literal devil himself, a doppelganger! My god I hate that word. I never wanted to have to think let alone utter that word again and now here it is again haunting me, plaguing me masquerading around as my dead brother, hitting on his wife, to haunt the last of my pathetic human existence because my life will never know peace.” Damon groaned “I’m in hell aren’t I? I already died and this is hell I knew they’d open it back up.”

Caroline smacked the side of his head “Damon stop being so dramatic, you’re alive you’re not in hell and this is just a bizarre coincidence. I mean Paul being a doppelganger means he’s a descendant of Silas who was a witch which explains why his daughter is a witch.”

“Well then what explains the heart eyes and the flowers then?” Damon said sternly folding his arms. Caroline let out a huff “he is not giving my heart eyes okay he was just being nice, I know that’s a foreign concept for you” she said “everything will be fine this is a strictly professional relationship” Caroline raises her index finger and digs it into Damon’s chest “and you of all people have no right to judge me for being caught off guard by someone who looks exactly like someone you love.”

Damon scoffed before removing her finger from his chest “Whatever, just keep it professional I already need to find a way to erase this mornings scene from my memory I don’t need more added on.” Damon walked towards the kitchen Caroline shaking her head knowing her attempts at keeping Damon sober today just flew out the window while following along with him.

Stefan stands quiet and as still as a mannequin, not that it would matter since no one can see or hear him anyway, as he watches Caroline’s latest encounters with the splitting image of himself. Caroline, his wife, his beautiful, selfless, amazing wife, he watches over everyday making sure she was happy and if he’s being honest sometimes just to remind him what peace is.

He wants her to be happy, he wants her to find someone who’ll love her the way she deserves to be loved the way he loves her. He’s seen her have a few flings over the years but he can tell none of the have really been enough for her. Watching her now though he sees that spark back in her eyes even if she doesn’t, and he of all people knows the effect a doppelganger can have. At least Paul seems like a good guy from what he’s seen, loving father, polite and respectable, annoys Damon, makes Caroline laugh and smile. But despite all of that he can’t help but have a bitter taste in his mouth thinking that it can’t, that it should be him to giving that to her.

Suddenly Stefan feels a familiar chin on his shoulder as his best friend, his saving grace over here settles behind knowing that he’s brooding, that he’s always brooding these days it seems.

“Do you ever think about how we’ve found peace only for the universe to pop up and say ‘are you sure about that one’ and then you’re forced to question the existence of peace all over again” Stefan sighed “because same.”

Suddenly Lexi puts both hands on Stefan’s shoulder’s and spins him around shaking him slightly “oh no not this again, broody Stefan died in hellfire thirty years ago this is supposed to be upbeat finally-found-peace Stefan who’s happy that his wife is living her life to fullest until she finds her way back to him and is enjoying every second he gets to spend with his amazing gorgeous best friend in a place where literally nothing bad can happen to him.”

Stefan smiles slightly “look I am happy for Caroline, really I am I don’t want her to be alone or to not find love again but…” he takes a slight pause “seeing it happen with someone who looks exactly like me makes it even harder not to realize it should be me, I should be the one giving her daises and making her smile and giving her a reassuring hand squeeze.”

“Stefan don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic, which of course for you is telenovela level dramatic, about this I mean nothing even happened? Maybe he’s just a nice guy who’s showing his gratitude for her helping his daughter?”

“Lexi I have been madly in love with Caroline Elizabeth Forbes-Salvatore for over thirty-five years and therefore I am an expert in knowing when someone is in love with her” Stefan takes a deep breath “he’s in love with her even if he doesn’t realize it yet” Stefan says thinking back to himself and how long it took for him to realize his feelings were there for years before he finally told her “I mean who wouldn’t be?”

#steroline #steroline fanfic #steroline au fic #my fics #one hell of a lucky guy #as always leave comments I tried to get this up asap since I can only update on weekends

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zalrb · 7 years ago

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True North {SE Pt. 3}

I unfortunately could not make this the last section, there were too many moving parts. But this is super, super angsty so I hope you enjoy it!

Link to first part: http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/162905370050/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner

Link to second part: http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/163149696545/just-this-night-se-pt-2

People to tag (and if you want me to tag you, say so in a reblog or response to the specific story): @thefangirlgoddess @stefan4president @kissmebluesexyvioletsme @misslilmel @stefan-is-too-sexy-for-you @humbu-bumbu @starrystelena @stelenacaryl4life @savagetore @youareatypo @wasabicakes @stelena-lover-forever @beverllarke @tea-moonn @stelenaliveson @stelenaisforever @emjo029 @fiftyshadesofstelena @demetrias-stelena @annoyinglydecadentface @foreveryoursnyoursalone

Stefan decided to stay at the school but Elena had to go back to the Salvatore Mansion, she was expected to. Four times she’d said to Stefan, “I should go” and four times he’d responded, “Yeah you should” and four times neither of them broke their gaze or shifted an inch to signal that she should get ready before Elena found the resolve to leave his arms and get dressed. Now, she was parked outside the house, laughing and crying at the same time, her body experiencing every contradictory feeling imaginable. She didn’t regret it — tonight; finally allowing herself to breathe again, to accept that his touch revitalized her, awakened her. Even now she felt at ease, sane, and yet touched with exhilaration, like she had when she and Stefan were together, something within her had been returned and she felt good.

What she did regret was breaking her vows, was betraying one of her dearest friends. It was a particular kind of torture, to feel herself come alive beneath Stefan’s gyrating movements, only to feel a vehement guilt the moment they were away from each other. She felt guilty for leaving him at all, for coming back when it was too late, turning them both into disloyal people, and she felt profoundly ashamed for her unfaithfulness.

Elena took a deep breath in and exhaled. She had to pull herself together. It had been a little over two hours since she’d been gone. She couldn’t waste any more time in the car. Giving herself a pep talk, she opened the car door and headed toward the mansion. She saw Bonnie from the driveway, a glass of bourbon in her hand. When Elena made it onto the porch, they both stared at each other before Bonnie looked away and stared straight ahead, taking a sip from her glass. Elena took an urgent step toward Bonnie and took her by the hand.

“You can’t hate me now,” she said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bonnie, please. I was suffocating before tonight.”

“I know.”

“I felt the way I did before I even met Stefan, like … I didn’t know how to live anymore, but then, I couldn’t feel anything, before tonight I was feeling the absence of everything I did feel when I was with him, it was maddening. I felt like I was going to go crazy.”

“Elena, I know all of this. I felt it,” said Bonnie. “I don’t hate you for going.”

“You don’t?” said Elena, furrowing her eyebrows. “So then why are you…?”

“I hate myself for giving you the permission to go,” said Bonnie dully.

“You threw me a lifeline, Bonnie,” said Elena. “You’re always saving me and I know it sounds dramatic but hearing you tell me to go tonight … you saved me again.”

Bonnie looked at her and sighed. “I’m glad that I could help you, Elena. I am,” she said. “But now I’m going to have to live with the fact that the lifeline I threw you was Stefan and not Damon. And you’re going to have to live with the fact that Damon’s lifeline is you and you’ve committed to being that. You took vows committing to be that.”

Elena’s lips parted and Bonnie turned to face her completely.

“I cut off Enzo’s hand for Damon, you know. I’ve landed in the hospital for him,” said Bonnie. “I don’t know what happened tonight and I don’t want to know but the fact that you left at all will destroy him. The fact that Stefan didn’t send you back here? Caroline waited a long time for him. First, to even notice her the way she noticed him and then for him to start trusting her with himself. Knowing this will devastate her.”

“I know.”

“I’ll take my responsibility for tonight but if they can’t find out what happened. If they do, the wreckage that’ll come from that? That’s on you. And on him.”

Elena looked at her and nodded stiffly.

Bonnie stared at her for a few moments before she finished the rest of her bourbon and headed back to the front door. She stopped and then turned around.

“I’ve decided I’m leaving for Venezuela on Monday,” she said.

“Already? You just got here,” said Elena. “Damon said you were going to stay Stateside for a while since you’ve been travelling for nearly half a year.”

“That was originally the plan,” said Bonnie.

“Are you going because of tonight?” said Elena.

“I’m going to get as far away from the wreckage as possible,” said Bonnie.

Elena bit her lip as Bonnie walked back into the house. It stung her; how sure Bonnie was that she’d be selfish enough to cause wreckage, to rip Caroline’s life apart, to completely unravel Damon. It was true, she’d been selfish enough to save herself with Stefan’s kiss, to break vows and betray friendships but that was as far as she would go, could go.

When Elena finished dressing in the library, Stefan sat on the table, topless and silent, his clasped hands beneath his chin.

“I wish you’d say something,” she said.

He stayed quiet.

“I really hate when you don’t talk to me,” said Elena.

No response.

“What, are you punishing me now?”

Stefan lowered his head so that his two pointed thumbs would touch his forehead but he didn’t say anything.

“Stefan.”

“I don’t want you to go,” he said. “I don’t want you to go and I’m keeping quiet because I’m scared that I’ll ask you to stay.”

“Don’t,” said Elena. “Because if you ask I will.”

“I know.”

Elena sighed. “Stefan, what are we going to …”

Abruptly, he stood up and walked over to Elena. He grasped either side of her face and pressed his forehead against hers. Elena squeezed her eyes shut as she clasped his wrists.

“This can’t happen again,” he said.

“I know,” she whispered.

“No, Elena, this can’t happen again,” said Stefan. “Caroline and I built a life together, you know? This perfect, drama-free life, we’ve worked things out with Alaric and the girls they---”

“They love you.”

“I can’t just turn my back on that.”

“I know, Stefan.”

“No you don’t get it, I don’t think I can see you again,” said Stefan.

Elena opened her eyes and looked up at him through her wet eyelashes. “What?”

“I won’t be able to help myself if I see you, Elena,” he said. “When Klaus compelled me to turn off my humanity, he said---”

“He said that the only thing stronger than your craving for blood was your love for me,” Elena whispered.

“He was right,” said Stefan. “With you by my side, I could and I can beat any temptation, any weakness except when you’re the temptation because then you become my weakness. I told Lexi once, I told her that you were the love of my life and that I’d go back to you in a heartbeat. That hasn’t changed. I will go back to you in a heartbeat, Elena, but I can’t. We made choices.”

“You said that we were all too connected for us to not see each other,” said Elena.

“I know.”

“You said that you couldn’t not have me in your life.”

“I can’t,” said Stefan. “But I’m going to have to because seeing you, being with you, it makes me want to destroy everything for you and that isn’t your fault but I have to do whatever it takes to make sure I do the right thing, even if it means denying myself you and dying inside because of it. I have to, it’s the only way.”

“Yeah,” said Elena. “Yeah, OK.” She moved away from him but the instant she let go of his wrist, Stefan took her by the hand to keep her from leaving. She turned back to look at him, at the anguished expression on his face when he finally allowed himself to let go. She headed to the door.

“Do you hate me for this?” he said.

“No. No, of course not,” said Elena.

“I wish you would,” he said. “It would be easier if you did.”

“How can I hate you when you’re being you? When you’re doing the things that make me love you so much?” Elena turned to look at him. “You’re a good man, Stefan,” she said. “You are.”

And she left.

Stefan couldn’t stay in the school any longer. He did everything he could to wake up late, to miss Damon and Elena’s departure back to New York. It pained him, how little time he spent with Damon during his visit but he couldn’t bear to look at him, to talk to him, hug him, listen to him when he’d been such a disloyal brother, when every time he so much as looked at Elena, a jealousy overtook him because Damon got to look at Elena without guilt or repercussion. He wondered if this was how Damon felt every time Stefan kissed Elena in front of him, like with each touch, each glance, each kiss, his sanity would slip away. But he had no right to feel that. He’d had no right to the last night.

Stefan had sat next to him when Damon confessed he couldn’t live without Elena, he’d encouraged the two of them to be together, to work thing out, because what Stefan wanted more than anything was Damon’s happiness, was Damon’s maturity, his transformation into a good man, the better man. He thought he could handle it, burying his lingering feelings, his true feelings for the sake of Damon’s betterment and Elena’s curiosity but now Damon’s happiness killed Stefan, it pushed him out to a sea that was treacherous and never-ending and the night before, he’d allowed himself to come ashore, to finally breathe again after seven years. It had been one of the happiest moments of either of his lives, human and vampire, but its cost weighed on Stefan’s already-weighted mind with such profound shame. Even if it meant never seeing Elena or Damon again, Stefan would ensure Damon’s happiness because he owed it to him.

It was an hour later that Stefan took back roads home. He crept through the woods to the back of the Mansion and could hear Bonnie and Caroline outside in the driveway, bidding Damon and Elena a farewell. He hurried up the steps and snuck into the house. If Bonnie was still around it would be easy to convince Caroline that he missed the departure for the sake of delicacy. Stefan headed up the staircase and walked down the hall to his bedroom but passed Damon’s on the way. The door was open. It had been a while since he stepped foot in his brother’s room, perused his book collection. It was the closest Stefan could be to him.

He walked into the room.

Elena was there, an open overnight bag on the bed. She was packing odds and ends, looking around to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. Her gaze met his and she stared at him. Everything in Stefan stilled and his feet were rooted to the floor. He hadn’t expected to see her here. By the bed that she shared with Damon.

“You weren’t going to see us off?”

There was barely contained anger in her voice. And hurt. The anger he could handle but not the wounded nature of her tone. He could never stand to see her or hear her upset.

“We said our goodbyes last night,” said Stefan. “I was going to call Damon later.”

Elena nodded. “Right.”

Neither of them said anything but just continued to stare at each other. Stefan worked on keeping his breathing steady, on dimming the intensity of his longing, trying to make himself statue-esque.

“So I guess this is it,” she said.

Stefan didn’t say anything, he only nodded and Elena nodded back. “OK.”

She shouldered her half-opened bag and walked over to the door, a few feet away from Stefan. Her heart thudded and he held his breath. Leave, he thought viciously. If you’re going to leave then leave. Please.

“I think there’s a slipper behind the door,” said Elena.

“OK,” said Stefan. “OK I’ll leave you to it.”

He moved to walk back out into the hallway, Elena exhaling slightly, but then slammed the door shut and held Elena by the waist, bringing her to him so that he could press his lips against hers. The kiss was instantly urgent and tinged with an agonized despair that compelled them to pour everything they had into the embrace.

Elena moved so that Stefan shuffled against the wall and her palms slid over his chest and shoulders as he gripped her waist with one hand and cupped her cheek with the other. Each time it felt like one might break away, the other leaned forward and deepened the kiss, rendering the both of them breathless and feverish, dooming them to the full extent of their wanting and regret. Finally, they wrenched away from each other, panting heavily. A tremor ticked beneath Stefan’s reddened face and he leaned his head against the wall, his expression raw, as Elena put her hand to forehead and gasped for air. Both of them were too affected to speak, silent tears streaking their faces.

Calls from downstairs.

“Elena, babe, you ready?”

Quickly and quietly, they wiped their eyes and rubbed their faces, doing everything they could to make their expressions normal again.

“Coming!” she shouted.

She moved to open the door but when Elena reached for the doorknob, Stefan put his hand over hers so that she stopped to look up at him. His lips quivered as he brushed her hair from face, stroking her cheek. Elena closed her eyes at his touch.

“You’re going to make me cry again,” she whispered. She took Stefan’s hand in hers and kissed his palm then opened the door and left Damon’s room, trying to quell the tears burning her throat.

It should’ve been easy. Distracting herself. Elena was always on her feet, doing pre-rounds and rounds, always putting herself on the on-call list, always doing charts, studying procedures --- she pushed her limits and exhausted herself daily. But exhaustion couldn’t kill a feeling. The terrible loss she suffered since leaving Stefan in Damon’s bedroom infiltrated everything, it made her feel heavy and empty at the same time. Her mind was too tired to scream at her, to tempt her into going on Facebook or Instagram, to send him an email but her body was weighted with his absence.

Then there were the flashbacks.

Whenever she could sleep it was never restful but interrupted with flashes of that night, of the library. His writhing back or gyrating hips, the way their fingers entwined on the table, the way he brushed her hair from her forehead, the heat of his skin, the deep tenor of his groan. Then she’d wake up, twisted with longing, and she’d need to shower to clear her head. The problem was what she ached for wasn’t simply the sex, it was what the sex allowed between them, something she’d only ever felt and discovered with Stefan. Intimacy. True, unfiltered intimacy that tied them to each other. That never failed in pulling them back to one another, except before, they were pulled back with a gaze or a smile, a touch of the hand, not this, not the physical act of intimacy.

Still, Elena did all she could to distract herself, which meant spending all of her time at the hospital. In two months, she’d been back to the loft less than 10 times and it was for the best. She couldn’t look at Damon without feeling both resentment and shame and she couldn’t see the pictures there were of her and him and Caroline and Stefan. Each time she saw his face, heard Damon speak his name, she felt something in herself crumble, something in herself desperate to email him or call him and then she’d excuse herself to the bedroom to scream into a pillow.

But tonight she would have no choice but to go home.

“Elena, you’re sick!” said Dr. Peters.

“I’m fine,” she said.

Elena got up from the washroom floor and flushed the vomit down the toilet, leaving the stall to wash her hands.

“You’ve been throwing up since this morning, you’re disoriented, go home or I will commit you,” said Dr. Peters.

“But what about the appendectomy I’m supposed to assist with this afternoon?” said Elena as she walked out of the washroom into the hallway.

Dr. Peters looked to her left. “Salinski, you up to the challenge?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Salinski smirked and winked at Elena before following Dr. Peters down the hall. Elena mimed choking him. Wait till I tell Stefan what Salinski did this time…

As soon as she thought it, Elena closed her eyes and groaned.

If it wasn’t getting any easier after two months, it was never going to get easier.

Breakfast with Caroline and the girls. Staff meetings. Classroom check-ins. Reports. Fundraising calls.

That was how Stefan spent his days; committing himself to what he made of his life, doing everything he could to be in it, to look forward to it, to love all of it to his fullest, not just his time with the twins. During the days, he did everything he could to do right by his choices.

It was the nights that were the problem.

Nights he tossed and turned in bed next to Caroline, unable to sleep, unable to rest and then he would go out for a walk and find himself at Miss Mystic High. Every time he thought he would just turn around and go back home and every time he found himself in the school, in the library. He stared at the tables and would see it all in his mind: Elena kissing his skin like she wanted to commit every sensation to memory.

The way she held his face, locking her eyes with his.

The way she sighed each time he did something she liked,

her moan in his ears, the memory so clear he throbbed slightly.

And then he saw after, when she was in his arms, her head rested on his chest,

how she smiled at hearing his heartbeat,

how calm he’d felt, how right it all felt, how he never so badly wished for a night to last forever until that moment. How that wish still ached in his chest, kept residence in his thoughts.

Doing paperwork: If only that night never ended …

The laundry: If only that night never ended …

A run: If only that night never ended …

Then he would see other things. He would see him, Caroline and April around the table, Rebekah compelling Elena to tell the truth, to explain in excruciating detail how she fell out of love with Stefan and into love with Damon. He would feel the anguish that tore through him that day and the anguish that ripped him a part everyday after that, and he would be flooded with a resentment that made it difficult for him to breathe, that made him think of how easy it would be to just hate Elena. To hate her for choosing Damon, to hate her for coming that weekend two months ago, to hate her for chasing down the hallway and allowing him to wreck everything for a night that did in fact end. He thought of how easy it would be to hate her then forget her, to chalk it up to a love lost, chalk up their lovemaking to a necessary system cleanse.

It would’ve been easy to do these things. But it was impossible.

Stefan watched as Caroline sat beneath the covers, looking over reports made by the teachers. He couldn’t do this. He had to do this. He shouldn’t do this. How could he not do this. It was unbearable, the constant battle in his head. He walked further into the room and sat on the foot of the bed, going over and over what he planned on telling her.

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“About the reports? I know. Is it about Larissa? Are we sure she’s actually witch because her class is showing no development whatsoever and ---”

“No, Caroline ---”

“--- I expected Bonnie to be back for more than a weekend because then she could’ve taught the class ---”

“Caroline---”

“--- then we could’ve schmoozed her, asked her to stay for a full-time position---”

“Caroline, I’m trying to tell you something. Please.”

She stopped talking and looked up from the paperwork. When she saw the expression on Stefan’s face, she closed the folder. “What is it?”

Stefan stayed silent for a few moments before speaking again. “I’ve been struggling,” he said. “I’ve been struggling with trying to figure out what the right thing is for … months.”

Caroline furrowed her eyebrows.

“I thought keeping this to myself and living with the guilt, refusing to make myself feel better by telling you was the selfless thing to do, that it would keep you happy, but…” Stefan shook his head. “I respect you so much, Caroline. Too much to make a fool out of you. I couldn’t stand it if I did that. You deserve so much more than that, so much more than me.”

“Stefan, you’re scaring me…”

He looked up at her, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I slept with someone else,” he said.

Caroline laughed. “You what? You…?” Her smile faded. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I am so, so sorry, I just---”

“No, I don’t.” Caroline shook her head and cleared her throat. “I don’t think I heard you, I’m going to need you to repeat it.”

Stefan looked at her.

“I’m serious, I think I must be having a brain fart or something, I need you to say what you said again so I can fully process it.”

“I, uh,” he took a deep breath. “I slept with someone else,” he said. “A few months ago.”

Caroline stared at him, her expression deadpanned. Stefan continued to look at her, jogging his knee with anticipation. He chewed on his lower lip.

“Care ---”

“No,” she said.

He blinked. “No?”

“No,” she said again. “That doesn’t make any sense, you wouldn’t …” She threw off the covers and stood up, pacing up and down beside the bed. “You wouldn’t do that, you love me. You love the girls. You wouldn’t do something like this, this is completely out of character.”

“I’m not a good man,” said Stefan. “I really tried to be one but I … I did this, Caroline. I know it’s hard to accept, I know you put your faith in me to be better than ---”

“No!” said Caroline angrily.

Stefan closed his eyes.

“I’m not rejecting the truth, Stefan, I’m not making excuses for you, I’m being honest. You wouldn’t do this, you wouldn’t be unfaithful, that just isn’t who you are. You wouldn’t betray me or this family for some random skank, you wouldn’t. You just …” She sighed. “Wouldn’t. Unless...”

She turned to him.

“Unless she was worth it to you. Unless it felt like you truly couldn’t help yourself because you’ve been longing for her for years and she’s been festering in the corner of your heart for nearly a decade. Unless she was the woman you loved more than you thought you could love anyone else.”

“Caroline…”

“Unless it was Elena,” she said waspishly. “There is no other woman on the freaking planet you would do this for.”

Stefan shook his head.

“Was it her?”

“Caroline…”

“Was. It. Her?” she yelled.

“I...”

Caroline made a movement, using her vamp speed so that she was right in front of Stefan, her hand grabbing the lower half of his face. “Stefan tell me right now or I swear to God I will compel you to answer me.”

Stefan’s eyes watered. “The night that Bonnie came over, we… I … I’m so sorry, it wasn’t planned.”

Caroline let go of Stefan rushed back. “I can’t believe this. I can’t freaking believe this!” She brought her hands to her face then pinched the bridge of her nose as she started to cry. “Why is it so easy for you to hurt me?”

Stefan got up to try and comfort her. “No, Caroline, I didn’t mean---” he put his hands on her shoulders but she shrieked and moved away.

“No, no! Don’t touch me!”

She scurried over to the other side of the room.

“Caroline, please, the twins are sleeping---”

“Don’t bring up the twins,” she yelled. “Do not bring up the twins after telling me you were unfaithful to this family.”

“I know,” said Stefan, raising his hands. “I know, I’m sorry, I just don’t want ---”

“I mean, my God, Stefan! Does she still have such a hold on you? After all this time? After both of you got married? What is it about her? I mean, I, was it just about the sex?”

The easy answer would’ve been ‘yes’ but Stefan couldn’t say it, he owed Caroline the truth and he couldn’t bear to belittle Elena or the night they’d shared, the night that had meant everything to him.

“No,” he said, his voice shaky. “I’m in love with her. I’ve never not been in love with her and what happened that night …” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “It was me being in love with her. And it shouldn’t have happened. I should’ve buried it, suppressed it, ignored it, done anything but give into it, I’m ---”

“Oh just shut up!” Caroline yelled. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? ’Buried it’, ‘suppressed it’, ‘ignored it, you’re telling me that that’s how intense this was for you? You’re an incredible bastard,” she said. “You have ruined us for a high school romance, Stefan It’s been seven damn years, let it go! Get a grip!”

“I wish that it was as simple as that, Caroline,” said Stefan.

“IT IS THAT SIMPLE!”

“But it’s not,” said Stefan. “From the moment I met Elena, I knew …” He sighed. “I’m not trying to hurt you, I don’t like hurting you, but I owe you the truth and the truth is I just …” Stefan shrugged, his eyes red. “I can’t love anyone the way I love her. She’s the love of my life. I’ve been alive for two life times, going on a third, and Elena is the only woman I’ve ever been able to give myself over to completely. But we’re just … we’re not meant to be together, that’s been proven.”

“The love of your--- so then what am I?” she shouted. “What is this? Your consolation prize.”

“You’re my choice,” said Stefan.

“By default!” said Caroline.

“Caroline, I … I care so much about you, about the school and the years we spent building this life.”

“Practicalities, these are all just obligations and commitments,” said Caroline.

“I love sharing them with you,” said Stefan.

“But do you love me, Stefan?”

“Of course I do.”

“In what way? Hmm? If not in the ‘Elena’ way then what way? What way? WHAT WAY?”

“Caroline, just tell me what to do,” said Stefan. “What do you want me to do? You want me to leave? I’ll leave just, please, let me see the girls from time to time and ---”

“No I don’t want you to leave, I want you to stop loving her!” she roared.

“I---”

“STOP LOVING HER.”

There was a creak and Stefan turned around. Josie and Lizzie were in the doorway, draped in nightgowns, their faces contorted in terror.

“…Uncle Stefan…?” said Josie.

“… Mommy…?”

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” said Stefan, rushing up to them. He held them in a hug, their tiny hands clasped to his back.

“Did we scare you?” he asked, kissing each of them on top of their heads. “We’re sorry. Sometimes grownups don’t get along too well and they raise their voices, but it’s OK. Everything’s going to be OK.”

Stefan looked behind him to Caroline who shook her head and sunk onto the foot of her bed, cradling her head in her hands.

Damon was at the far end of the loft, in the living room. The TV was on and he was sitting across from it on the couch, his feet on the coffee table, a half-empty bottle of Scotch next to them. Elena walked, zombie-like, to the couch. Her stomach was queasy but she didn’t feel like throwing up, she was only nauseous. Damon glanced at her.

“Doth my eyes deceive me? Is my wife actually standing in her home? He smiled and jutted out his cheek for a peck.

Elena stood where she was, opening and closing her mouth, the past two months weighing her down. She shook her head. I can’t … I can’t anymore …

“I slept with Stefan,” she said.

Damon furrowed his eyebrows. “You slept with …?” Hastily he picked up the remote and turned off the TV then faced her. “Come again.”

Elena felt her face begin to redden with emotion. “It was back when we visited them, the night Bonnie came over to the house, but it was …” She chewed on her lower lip. “It was building for a while.”

“Seven years I bet,” said Damon harshly. He banged the remote onto the coffee table and stood up. “Is that why you were so insistent that we go there?”

“I wanted to see him happy with Caroline. It was supposed to deter me, it was supposed to shut down those feelings but I just ---”

“Ended up screwing my brother,” said Damon.

“Hurting you is the last thing that I wanted.”

“Then why did you tell me?” said Damon, throwing his hands up in the air. “Why couldn’t you have just lied to me?”

“Because I’m tired of lying,” said Elena, tears brimming. “I’ve been lying to the both of us for so long and it’s done nothing but drive me crazy and make you wonder why I’m so distant. It’s made our life hell. Nothing good comes from lying.”

“Nothing good comes from cheating on your husband either,” said Damon. “You cheated, Elena.”

“I’m not proud,” she said, shaking her head. “Believe me, I’m not proud. I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

“You’re sorry,” he said, nodding. “Sorry. But would you take it back?”

Elena bit her lip.

“It’s a simple question, would you take it back, Elena?”

“I can’t say that I would.”

Damon yelled and picked up the glass bottle next to the remote, throwing it against the wall. “Why can’t you just have the decency to lie to me?”

“Because you need to know, I need to say these things, Damon, we need to talk!”

He whirled around her. “Fine, you want to talk, how was it?”

“How was what?”

“The sex,” said Damon. “How was the sex?”

Elena shook her head and walked to the other end of the loft. “Don’t do this.”

“No, stop,” Damon took her by the arm and turned her toward him. “You’re so big on honesty, Elena. The fact that it’s two months after you broke your wedding vows isn’t hypocritical at all. So let’s be honest, how many times did you two screw?”

Elena wrenched her arm out of Damon’s hand and folded them. “It was just that night.”

“One time in that night?”

She paused. The memory flashing before her mind. Her finger tracing his lips. His eyes pierced into hers. Mingled sighs. Heavy breathing. The hardness of the table against her back, the hardness of him…

“Four,” she whispered.

“Well good to know you two were productive,” he said bitterly. He started to pace. “Did you finish?”

Elena cleared her throat. “Yes.”

“How many times?”

She stared at him, pained.

Damon’s eyes flashed. “How. Many. Times?”

“Nine.”

Damon gritted his teeth. “Do you fantasize about it?”

“Damon…”

“Do you?”

Elena sighed. “Yes.”

“How many times a day?”

“I don’t --- I don’t know, I don’t count…”

“That many, huh?”

Elena wiped the tears from her eyes. “Aren’t you done yet?”

“No,” he said. “So it’s better with him then.”

Elena shrugged helplessly. “It’s different.”

“Different how? Better?”

“It’s not just sex with him, it’s…” Elena rubbed her temple. “There’s more to it than quick pleasure. We connected. We always connected when we’re together, we made love, it’s … intimate.”

“And what, what we have isn’t? We don’t connect?”

“Damon---”

“You married me, Elena. You chose me. You stuck by me through… everything, why would put up with it if there was no intimacy, if you didn’t love me.”

“I never said I didn’t love you,” said Elena. “I just---”

“You never unfell for him, right?” said Damon dangerously. “Even after all that you and I have gone through, it’s still the same isn’t it?”

Elena shook her head. “I can’t help it,” she said.

“So then everything you told me, was that a lie?”

“Of course not.”

“You said I was your soulmate.”

“I know---“

“SO THEN WHY DID YOU FUCK STEFAN?”

“I didn’t plan it!” said Elena, “He’s just … he’s more than---”

“Than what? Than me? Than what I am to you? What am I to you, Elena?”

“You are a great love, Damon,” she said, her voice thick with tears.

“And him?”

“He’s too many things to count,” said Elena. “The love I have for him, it’s just, it’s a part of me, it’s like a natural state, it’s there even when everything else is gone. He’s like my True North.”

“Your True North,” Damon repeated. “Your True North. Are you leaving me for him? Is that why you told me this.”

“I--”

“Because I’m not going to let you go, Elena. I can’t, I can’t live without you,” said Damon. “Don’t our vows mean anything to you.”

“Yes ---”

“So then this is worse. For better or for worse, this is worse. Elena, I can’t, I can’t exist in this world if you’re not by my side.”

Elena rubbed her eyes. “Damon…”

“I mean it,” he said. “This human life means absolutely nothing without you.”

Elena opened her mouth to speak when her cell rang. It was a specific tone. She reached into her jacket pocket.

“Are you seriously answering the phone right now?” said Damon.

“It’s important.”

Elena took out her phone, sliding the bar to the left and put it to her.

“Can you talk?”

Elena closed her eyes for a brief second. It felt like a lifetime since she’d heard his voice.

“It’s not really a good time,” she said.

“OK,” said Stefan. “Um, I told Caroline.”

“You --- you what?”

“I told Caroline,” Stefan repeated. “And she’s coming to New York.”

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bittensoldier · 7 years ago

Text

#KingOfPain 1983, New York City ||

@SinfulLibertine had only been gone for a couple of days, but it felt much longer.

I missed him terribly, not just because of the way he held me in the dark, but because of his smile, his laugh, and the way I had just been starting to feel true warmth from him after being at his side for so long. Perhaps it had been there before and the haze of drugs and booze had kept me from noticing, but I had finally let myself start feeling hopeful about a future for the two of us. I had started thinking that perhaps this was something more than a convenient way for each of us to stave off the loneliness that haunted us both.

And then he’d left. Just like that. Told me he needed space. That he wanted me to get sober while he was gone, though he was vague on the specifics of just how and when he’d be back. “I’ll see you when I get home,” he’d said.

/Home/.

That word was meaningless to me. It floated through my mind, groundless and empty, rolling like a tumbleweed on the breeze as he said it aloud. I realized that “home” was not a place that existed for me. There was him, and then there was nothing. Just me, drifting without roots of any kind. I’d let him be my anchor. I’d bound myself to him and let him give my life gravity. I’d never used the word love. He wouldn’t have wanted it or been able to reciprocate it. He’d told me his emotions were firmly switched off, and I’d accepted that as a condition of our relationship, not expecting it was even possible to hope for more. That was the price for him to shut out his pain. I understood that too. I wasn’t worth him turning them back on just so he could love me when it would also mean he had to relive and confront the anguish of his past. My shattered self was a poor trade for his peace of mind. For me, it was enough that he not only permitted but invited my presence. It wasn’t romance, but I’d long since accepted that I was never going to have that. This with him was as close to love as I was ever going to deserve, and so I was grateful for the measure of happiness being with him brought me. I was even able to forget, sometimes, how damaged I really was.

His leaving ripped that anchor away, and I was already feeling restless and jittery. My dreams were dark and left me waking in a panic to a cold and empty bed, with no one to calm the storm that was always raging in my mind.

He’d told me to ask Miha to stay with me, but I didn’t want her to see me this broken. Talking to Damon about my flashbacks and fears hadn’t bothered me. He’d been a soldier too, and he and I had been tortured in similar ways. We understood one another in ways that didn’t require words to explain.

Miha knew about my darkness, but I hadn’t been willing or able to rip myself open to show her the reasons why. I couldn’t help feeling weak in admitting what had happened. Captured and tortured by humans...that was still a source of shame for me. Damon didn’t judge me for being unable to prevent it, and while I knew Miha would tell me the same, I couldn’t bear to see pity in her eyes. Couldn’t bear to have her feel sorry for me. It was one thing to know I was an addict, a killer, an asshole even. But to have her think me a coward or see me as weak was something I refused to even contemplate.

I could put on a front for her for a while. But in order to do so, I would need to dull my emotions, and that meant giving in to my addictions. I’d made Damon a promise to sober up. More than that, it was an unspoken condition of his return. How could I face him if I’d broken faith with him? I could bear having everyone else see me as a failure and a wreck, but not him. To see him look on me with disappointment and see me the way everyone else did...or (worse still) see me the way I saw myself...no. I couldn’t stand that.

That’s why for the first few days, I’d resolved to go cold turkey and suffer through withdrawal on my own.

I knew where he’d gone, of course. He hadn’t left me completely in the dark on that score. But I didn’t want to call him or, worse yet, follow and let him see how weak willed I was without him there to keep me whole. And I didn’t want to explain just how much I really needed him. Loved him. How his absence broke my heart and made me feel unworthy.

I wasn’t just withdrawing from the drugs, though. In fact, that was the least of my troubles. The truth was, I was hopelessly addicted to Damon. Desperately so. And for that, there was no cure.

His words assuring me of his return ran on a loop in my mind, and I found myself muttering to myself as I sat huddled in the bathtub alone, hugging my knees to my chest, “He’ll be back. It won’t be long. He’ll be back.”

At first, I’d had trouble even contemplating leaving our apartment. I was so afraid that if I walked out that door, even for a moment, I might miss him. That he might come back and find me gone and leave again, this time for good. I knew this was paranoia speaking. Knowing a thing, doesn’t change the way you feel, though, and I just couldn’t shake my delusions, and as time stretched on, things seemed more and more bleak.

What if he realized what a fucked up mess I was and decided I wasn’t worth the hassle?

What if he found someone else...someone less complicated?

What if something happened to him out there? The world couldn’t be trusted, and nothing was guaranteed?

And what if all this had been a beautiful lie to cover the fact he was breaking up with me? A clever lie to keep me from following as he left me for good? After all, I didn’t deserve him anyway. I’d felt as though our time together was doomed from the first, predetermined to fail like every other relationship I’d ever had. What if it was finally just time to recognize that the inevitable conclusion had arrived while I was too blind to see it coming? These thoughts tormented me, tore at my psyche, ravaged through my veins even as I trembled and sweated through my withdrawal.

By day three, I was no longer paranoid. I was angry.

I loved him, and he didn’t give a shit about me. If he had, how could he have left? I needed him, goddammit. I needed him, and he’d abandoned me, just like everyone else. I’d counted on him to be different. Clung to him and let him see my need. Yet knowing what it would do to me, he’d gone all the same.

In an effort to hold onto my sanity, I took out a notebook and began writing a letter to him, pouring my heart out on the page in a way it would never be possible for me to speak aloud.

“Dear Damon,

I get it. I’m a fuck up. Tell me something I don’t know. It’s not new. I was like this before we were together, and I’ll still be that way long after you’ve left my sorry ass.

Fuck you, though, Mister Perfect. You are just as messed up as I am. I just have to live in it. Every goddamned day, I’m drowning in how fucked up I am. I don’t have the luxury of not caring. Of not feeling every single failure for the last two hundred years again and again like a series of stabs.

You try dealing with that for a fucking day and see if you don’t end up just like me.

You can stand there in judgment. Maybe I deserve it too. But I never claimed to be anything other than what I am. And while I am admittedly a mess, I’m an honest one, and I’m coping the best way I know how.

We all have demons. You. Me. Everyone. We all have regrets and pain and heartache and suffering. Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking liar.

So judge me if you want for the way I’m dealing. I can’t stop you. But you need to know that the only thing that’s keeping me from sliding into the abyss and giving up on life was you.

I’m not saying that as a guilt trip. I know you’re not capable of feeling guilt anymore. You can turn that off like everything else.

I’m simply stating the truth. If I hadn’t found you, I’d have found a way to die. I was desperate for it. For any kind of relief. Even if that relief was complete oblivion.

I need you, you asshole. I need you, and you left like I was nothing. I’m a broken man, and you goddamn know it. You’re the only one I can admit that to without feeling shame attached to the confession. We make a beautiful mess together, you and me. We aren’t perfect. I know that. I never asked for that. But I’m only one side of that fuckedupness. Your mess and my mess, they fit, you know? Don’t you see that?

I’m not asking for love or even emotion. I’m just stating facts.

I’m going to tell you your life, and you don’t have to like it. In fact, I know you won’t.

You’re a fucked up asshole, Damon Salvatore. You hurt people. You can be cruel and heartless. You have so much anger in you, and you lash out at anyone who gets too close to you. You’ve been badly hurt. You’ve lost sight of what it means to truly be happy or to love.

I’m all those things and more. I’m a gambler and a killer and a thief. I’m a coward and I’m weak and I am sometimes endlessly sad for reasons I can’t even express. I am passionate, but often in very dark ways. And I am a fucked up asshole too.

That’s the truth about you and me.

But I’m still here, waiting for you in spite of that. Even because of that.

There is something gorgeous and perfect in our brokenness. I think even you can admit that. It’s not just in the way we fuck or the dark desires that drive us. We understand each other in a way most people never find. You have seen me at my worst, and I’m not afraid to admit every part of who I am to you. And Damon, I’m the only one who knows both your darkness and light and doesn’t ask you to change or be anything other than yourself. A broken wreck. But you’re my broken wreck, just like I’m yours. What we have is real, even if you don’t feel the emotional side of it. I will feel it for you.

When you’re done with your high horse and ready to come back to earth, I’ll be here waiting.

Yours,

G.”

I read over the words ten times, trying to decide if it was worth sending, second guessing myself, but then my impulsive side took over. “Fuck it,” I muttered, reaching for an envelope, and before I could talk myself out of sending it, I walked down to the mailbox on our corner and sent it off to where I knew he’d be staying.

As soon as the letter dropped, I wished I could take it back. It was too raw and angry, and I feared I’d cut too close with what I’d said.

“Fuck it,” I said again with a shrug, lighting a cigarette. It was the only addiction besides coffee I was allowing myself. I had to have something to stave off my cravings. Blowing smoke into the evening sky, I turned, gazing back at the main entrance to the apartment, but I couldn’t face going back to those four walls that had begun to feel as though they were closing in around me. I needed to get out of there and feel anything but his absence and the pain that went along with it.

A moment of deliberation, and then I turned and walked in the opposite direction, heading for the distraction of the night. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t really care. I /couldn’t/ care. I was drowning in my emotions again. How could I help it? He’d taken away everything I used to cope.

Nearly everything. ||#KingOfPain #ToBeContinued

#KingOfPain #damon salvatore #SinfulLibertine #sinfulsoldier

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