#semi diplomatic thoughts from frazzled

[frazzledsoul]

So just putting this out there: just because you don't agree with what the narrative is trying to tell you about a certain piece of media (be it book, movie, TV show, or video game) or what the creator wants you to think about it doesn't make you wrong or a bad person. You are just one person with an opinion.

Let me put this another way. If you are a Game of Thrones fan, do you believe that Bran Stark being an omniscient tree god ruling as an absolute monarch is the best way to solve all political problems? Uh, probably not. If you are a Veronica Mars fan, do you believe the best end to her story is to kill off her long-term love interest because the story doesn't work anymore if she's happy? (Just have her break up with him then!) If you are a Ted Lasso fan, do you think the best ending for the story is for Ted and Rebecca never to consummate their romance and for Roy, Keeley, and Jamie not to become a fabulous OT3? (Okay, opinion may differ on that one, but a lot of people don't like the ending that they got).

Did you think the ending to We Were Liars was a cop out? Do you think Edward Ferrars is an idiot? Do you wish Outlander would get to the point already? Do you think a lot of the plot points in The Last of Us 2 are fucked up? So what if you do?

So if you weren't happy about those things, it doesn't mean you failed at anything. You just didn't accept what the narrative wanted you to believe. Which is fine. They don't rule what happens in your head.

So everybody chill.

[ikemenfics]

Hāshīzu

Last time on Ikemen Fics: One Entire Piece of Crack

Kyle: May I ask what you’ve drinking?

Me: ...Coffee?

Ieyasu: I think now’s a good time to quit drinking it.

“Sasuke..”

“Yeah..”

“...You’re not giving me one of those…”

Sasuke glanced down at the seemingly ordinary bag in his hand, recalling the words of the letter he’d been sent from Azuchi.  [Is this what she went through? I must research what happened. How did a simple bag of candy result in so many warlords doing that with her.  Am I sure I even want to try and replicate her results? I must. For science. But Masamune-dono isn’t here to start things. What to do with that…]

“Oi, Sasuke.”

Sasuke glanced up, “Ah..Yuki...Excuse me.  I was thinking.” “About those?  Sounds like those things are evil magic to me.  Keep them away from me.”

Sasuke hummed a noncommittal sound, staring down at the silvery treats, ruminating on just how this caused such an uproar for you.  [I would imagine it has to do with them being called “kissu” chocolates. Did they think it was because a chocolate meant you kissed?  Or that you had to kiss someone? Didn’t she get to explain differently? If she gave me a chocolate- No, I can’t get distracted. If that happened with her, then why did that strange portal appear and I was given the same?  How did that portal work? I calculated no such disturbances anywhere near this area for today, so it wasn’t natural. Perhaps, I can help her if I understand such a power. So, if her letter was correct, I have to recreate Azuchi all over again.  But how-]

“OI, SASUKE!  Man, you’re stranger than your usual today.”

Sasuke turned, seeing the messenger.

“Kenshin-sama is calling for you to come back,” the frazzled and near panicked man announced, “He demands to know why you left and what the letter was.  There might be a battle in the hall if you don’t come quickly.”

Sasuke nodded, tucking the bag away, “I’m coming.”  Shoulder to shoulder, he and Yuki walked back to the hall.

“Sasuke…” Kenshin’s voice was low [Uh oh…], “What is the meaning of walking away without proper dismissal?”

“My apologies, Kenshin-sama,” Sasuke moved to his knees, bowing deep to his lord, “the news from Azuchi unsettled me and I needed a moment.”

“You didn’t look unsettled,” Jade and Azhure stared at the ninja.

“To be fair, he never looks like anything,” Shingen offered, his voice carefully diplomatic, “So, we wouldn’t know what unsettled would look like on him.”

“And he’s been acting weird since,” Yukimura added, “was staring into space and everything.  It was weird.”

Sasuke noted that Yukimura hadn’t mentioned their strange visitor, silently thanking his BFF for his discretion on that.  

“Sasuke has always been an unusual sort,” Shingen added, “But staring off seems excessive even for him.  Are you sure it was just the letter, Yuki?”

Yuki glanced at his lord and Sasuke tensed.

“Well…” Yuki clearly was making a great decision.  Sasuke could feel sweat running down the back of his neck and was suddenly quite thankful no one could ever read his face.  “There was something…” Yuki seemed to be searching for a word or term and Sasuke waited, “Something called Hāshīzu. There’s a bag he’s got.”

Kenshin’s hand was out, before the words were completely out of the mouth of the scarlet warlord.

Sasuke reached, his eyes imperceptible and his hand steady, and plucked the small foil of chocolate into the Dragon of Echigo’s palm.

There was a long pause as the candy was examined.  

“It shimmers,” Yoshimoto breathed.  “It gleams almost like metal. It’s lovely.”

“I somehow thought this would be larger considering the near extreme response Yukimura described.”  Shingen’s brow furrowed as he spoke.

“Is this poison, Sasuke?  Did those fools seek to end me with such poor tactics?  I am disappointed.”

“Ah, no.  It’s not poison.  Nor is it from Azuchi, Kenshin-sama.”

“Oh?  Then what is it?”

“More importantly, where did it come from?”

[DokiDoki.  Now is as good a time as any to start thing pleasant day experience.]

“It’s called a kiss.”  Sasuke replied.

“A…” Kenshin’s eyebrows came together, wrinkles forming on his perfect countenance.

“Kiss?”  Yoshimoto finished, glancing down at the drop of chocolate balanced on the Dragon’s fingers.

“Yes,” Sasuke responded, adjusting his glasses, “The drop shape looks as if someone left a ‘kiss of chocolate’ upon the receiver.  Typically given as a romantic gesture.”

“And…” Shingen sounded intrigued, “What do you do with these romantic gestures?”

“If you receive a kiss, you eat it.”

Silence

“But isn’t that metal?  I have heard of ingesting mercury for youth, but many of those scholars have died.  It doesn’t sound like a thing you do to your lover.” Yoshimoto sounded dubious.

Sasuke plucked the confectionary from Kenshin’s hand, unwrapping the item as he spoke, “the chocolate is inside.  The foil is a lightweight metal that keeps the chocolate protected. You don’t eat that.” He held up the small brown prize for the others to see.

“How...interesting…” Shingen said, his hand reaching out.

“It looked much better with the foil.  Food, like everything, should be a pleasure to all the senses.” Yoshimoto muttered, reaching as well.

Kenshin snatched it, “My ninja is to give no kiss of any kind to anyone but myself.”  He opened his mouth and to his own horror, popped the sweet into his mouth. He grimaced, clearly debating swallowing the item whole or attempting to chew the offending sweet.

Eventually, his Adam's apple bobbed and he was able to speak, “Disgusting.”  He waved his hand and an aid rushed in close, bringing sake and pickled plums to the warlord, “It’s not as bad as Shingen’s sugar buns things, but that was horrid.”  Kenshin reached for the tokkuri

Meanwhile, elsewhere.  A handful of figures are playing cards.

“So, did you finish your mission.”

“Not yet.  But I have time now.  I’m waiting for events to unfold.”

“What did you do, anyway?”

“I delivered chocolate.  Apparently, someone has a sense of humor.”

The emerald eyed man glances up, seemingly into nothing.  There is some shuffling and a cough. Heads turn towards the sound.  There is a nervous, breathy giggle. Then the presence is gone.

“So..how long do you think it should take?”

“It wasn’t long last time.  But it seems this is a more...difficult bunch.”

There is another shuffle.  A head tilts, as if their ears are perked to hear words meant only for them.  A grin appears on their face, one eye shifting colors as he stands.

“I have just the thing,” he announced, then, without another word, he was gone, leaving the rest of the players to their own devices.

“Oh dear…”

“Looks like those poor people are really in for it now.”

“I really hope he doesn’t expend himself too much.”

“Oh...I dunno.  Sometimes people just need a soft push.  I think he’ll be fine, old friend.”

Back in Kasugayama:

Kenshin had started pouring his sake when the world almost warped and suddenly the cup and decanter were gone. 

“What the-”

Yuki, “Oh no...not again.  NO MORE WITCH MAGIC!” His lance was out.

Seeing his vassal armed and ready, Shingen was already up, drawing his sword, “I imagine I should thank the crazy dragon for the fact that we all come to these meetings semi armed.”

Yoshimoto flourished his fan, his body graceful as a dancer’s, “Remind me to ask what ‘not again’ means..”

One by one, weapons vanished from the hands of their owners.  Kenshin crying out as Himetsuru was ripped from his grip.

“Oh no…” a disembodied, though cheerful, voiced called into the room, “You won’t need those.  I come in peace. Unless you insist on being mean. Then I can play as well.”

Unlike the world slicing, it seemed this visitor was happy to just slip into existence.  Everyone watched as the ruby eyed young man did a reverse fade. As soon as he was opaque and solid, he turned, smiled, and gave a cat paw like closed fisted wave.  

“You,” Kenshin’s voice was low, quiet, but menacing all the same, “How are you here?”

“Easy!” the hooded man answered, offering no other response.

“Those ears...on that hood…” Sasuke mused.

“Mm!  Yes! A Cheshire Cat!”  The cheerful voice replied.  “Loki Genetta. Please remember it.”

“You will be remembered as the intruder who didn’t leave alive..” came the muttered threat.

“Oh wait WAIT WAIT!  So mean!” Loki raised his hand, making scratches in the air.  As soon as he made the motion, scratches appeared in the floor in front of the snowlord.

“Peace, Kenshinsama.”  Sasuke tried to soothe, “He hasn’t made a move to attack and your weapons are gone.  Let’s try and see what he wants.”

“Yes, Cushion-san,” Loki agreed, his initial merriment returning, “I come to tell you of the magic of your gift from the Jack of Hearts.”  He waved his hands again, but this time there was no visible effect, “Since you all need help with spreading your merriment. Here.” With that, Loki gave another paw wave, slowly fading out of existence, “Enjoy your kisses.”  Almost as an afterthought, the now bodiless voice of Loki said, “Oh, and your weapons will be returned only after your joy has spread.”

“What a strange turn of events this has become,” Yoshimoto mused, turning towards the green ninja.  “What is this joy he speaks of?”

Sasuke held up the bag.  “I think,” he replied, “we’re supposed to share kisses.”

Silence as everyone allowed that to sink in.

“Alright,” Yukimura said, his voice sounding similar to the one he used for battle, “As your friend.  I will accept your joy.”

Sasuke remained still, unsure of what to expect, when another voice sounded, “No.”

While bladeless, Sasuke still felt the ice cold point of death as he was turned towards his master, “He is MY ninja.  I have no intention of sharing such a useful tool with anyone. His kisses are mine.” Kenshin snatched the bag, leaning forward at the same time, stealing Sasuke lips with his own.

The kiss ended, Kenshin turning away before anyone could fully see his face.  Sasuke remained stoic. Kenshin fished another candy from the bag muttering, “These taste foul.  Least I managed to wash the taste out that way…”

“You do realize…” Shingen’s voice positively dripped with amusement, “that you have to share that joy with everyone, yes?”

“You just want the chocolate.  And I’m not kissing you.”

“I wouldn’t want to kiss you either.  You’re a little too insane. But rules are rules.”  The Tiger stepped to the Dragon, his lips turned up in a smirk.

“Ugh!” Kenshin announced, shoving the hershey’s back to Sasuke, “Nevermind!  I shall go find Himetsuru.” With that, Kenshin was gone.

Sasuke took a chocolate out, “Well…”

Yuki was quicker, “Alright.  Just. Get it over with.” Yuki’s face was red and his stance suggested the resident tsundere was flustered out of his mind.

“I appreciate you,” Sasuke replied, leaning in, “Please accept this with grace.”

Their lips brushed together, Yuki tensing as the shock took him over.  They remained, Sasuke’s lips playing with Yuki’s before they parted.

“Your lips are really soft, Sasuke.  Like a girl’s.” Yuki said before almost fleeing the room.

“Hmm?” Shingen seemed to have stepped in for his turn, “soft, eh?  Then I shall very much look forward to this. But first. Let me taste this kissu of yours.”  Sasuke numbly handed the chocolate to Shingen, the big man taking a bite out of it, chewing thoughtfully.  “Mm...not bad. Has just a touch of a bitter taste but richer than dangos have, but it’s not bad.” With that, Shingen leaned in, sealing his mouth over Sasuke’s own.  His tongue pushed, testing Sasuke, finding the ninja scientist compliant to the intrusion. He took his time exploring the mouth of the young man as he kissed.  

Pulling away, he licked Sasuke’s lips one last time, “Kenshin probably really will try and kill me this time.  But I might say it was worth riling him up.”  

Sasuke had no reply.

He turned, finding one man left.  Yoshimoto’s smile was imperceptible as he said, “Kissing is an art.  If you plan to dead fish on me like you did Shingen, I will be exceptionally disappointed.”

Sasuke leaned in, Yoshimoto meeting him halfway.  As Shingen has done, Yoshimoto’s tongue touch Sasuke’s lips.  When Sasuke opened his mouth, Yoshimoto took an extra step, tracing Sasuke’s lips before entering.  Sasuke’s tongue met Yoshimoto’s and the two spent moments allowing themselves to mingle in the sensation.  

Yoshimoto pulled back, tracing Sasuke’s lips, “You do have soft lips.  Pure art. Wasted on a man like Kenshin. A shame.”  

Left alone in Kasugayama castle, Sasuke stood.  Though his face was blank, the tension of his body was clearly visible to anyone that might have happened upon this sight.  A moment, two, then three and Sasuke finally took a breath, falling to the floor.  

“I think I might have just swooned,” he breathed, recomposing himself

At the card game

“It would seem it’s my turn now.  I should return their weapons.” Standing, a large sword was strapped to the speaker’s back, excusing himself as he left the game.

“Watch the one with the eyes.  He’s mean.”

“Roger that.”

The throne room of Kasugayama warped.  A large sword cut through the fabric of reality, just as Sasuke had seen in the courtyard.  A figured clad in dark colors stepped through. Large golden eyes surveyed the room before landing on the recovered ninja.

“I imagine “the one with the eyes” isn’t here?”

“You mean the cat one?”

“No. There isn’t another person with eyes?”

“We all have eyes.”

“Ah.  Yes.” The purple haired man seemed a little flustered as he moved the greatsword onto his back.  “Well, as he’s not here, I’ll just give you these.” Weapons appeared, a fan, two swords, shiruken, kunai, and a lance placed delicately on the floor.  “Is this everything?”

“Yes.”  Sasuke eyed the floor, glancing up at the young man, “By the way, is the cheer spread, now?”

“Oh..um…” Topaz eyes looked around, seeming to check with an unseen entity, “I don’t know.  You’d have to ask Edgar.”

“Also, who are you?”

“Luka of the Black Army.”

With that, Luka stepped back into the rip, resealing it with his broadsword.

Meanwhile, in a forest not too far away, a man in deep purple and gold sat in deep meditation.  He felt, rather than saw, a strange shift, and opened his eyes. A blade cut through reality and a figure in white and red with gold accents stepped forth.

“Pardon me.  My name is Edgar and I have been commanded to bring you this….”

Writer, are you sure it was just coffee?

M-...maybe?

You don’t sound too sure

I have a very active imagination ok?

Ok, but...why Ikerev?

Would you rather vampires?

Ok...why are you shoehorning people in?

You think you can get all of Kasugayama to kiss each other?

I feel kinda sorry for Kennyo...

I do too...

What’s gonna happen to him

Well...LOOK, A DISTRACTION

“Hello, it’s me Edgar, again...”

-flees-

“T’would seem I am to be used for more humor.  How lucky.”

[tacticianlyra]

Random thoughts

Not sure how any of these would happen, but it’d probably be canon-divergent from VLD’s season-2′s start, in which one or two of the Paladins end up being spat out of the corrupted wormhole on Alwas. Maybe interrupt a race while they’re at it. 

(The Arena Race with Para-Dice would need a do-over if the only exit gets smashed by a giant robot lion, after all...)

The entire thing would just scream “diplomatic opportunity” to Allura.

Anyone wants to try writing these out, feel free! Just make sure to tag me.

-OFC Lance is going to try flirting with the first human girl he sees for a few months (?). It earns some indignant sputtering from Jordan and a disapproving glare from Aikka, and I don’t think Molly would appreciate it too much either.

-Shiro is recognized very fast by the Earth Team, and a few of the team that followed star-racing a bit would recognize Rick pretty quickly too (either Lance or Hunk, maybe both).

-Don would be understandably frazzled at this mother-of-all-surprises.

-maybe there’d be a little practice swordfight between Keith and Aikka. (I can visualize this happening and asdfjk; it makes me wish I could draw.)

-you know how Lance misses rain? It rains on Alwas.

-Hunk and Pidge would definitely hit it off with Stan and Koji over engineering stuff. Those two would probably have a lot of questions about the Lions that the answers to would end up making new questions. Then someone mentions that the Lions are semi-sentient.

-Allura and Coran may or may not initially mistake the Nourasians for Alteans.

-while they’re...fairly certain that even Zarkon wouldn’t dare provoke the Avatar, they’re not 100% sure on that.

-Satis knows exactly who these people are and is honestly very excited that he got a chance to meet them.

-when the Pre-Selections come to an end and everyone’s prepping to go, the team learns that Rick is heading back to Earth. Soon following are requests from Lance, Hunk, and Pidge to mail a few letters so that they’re families know that they’re alive.