#sell viagra
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Just... pissing around on FAYDE researching some stuff and... Cool... Cool... Kim Kitsuragi being *very* afraid of newspapers, except when a certain somebody has crashed their MC into the ocean... *Very* cool...
Mind if I cry- hold on, post paused:
Huh?
#bwuh#fayde#disco elysium#uhh... i mean far be it from me to tell you where to sell viagra i guess...#anyway...#kimharry#LMAOOO
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Masterlist ☆
Link to my AO3 here
RULES <-
Valentine's Event 2024
Bungo Stray Dogs
Clogging their toilet
Bsd men when their GF queefs
Bsd men who could/nt handle a long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend
Most likely to show their dick on a live stream (twitch streamer AU)
Viagra
Leftovers
most to least likely to sell you crypto/NFTs
Top 5 scared of women
Telling them you're gay
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Hunting Dogs
ADA
Special Abilities Division
DOA
Port Mafia
The Guild
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Jujutsu Kaisen
Gojo
Sugardaddy!Gojo kicks you out of his apartment after he reunites with his BF Geto
Nanami
Stalking Nanami in an attempt to make him your sugar daddy (yeah idk)
Magic and Muscles
Can I kiss you?
Kaldo Gehenna
Happy Birthday
There was only one bed [Valentine's Event 2024]
Pregnancy Cravings
Everybody talks
Orter Madl
There was only one bed [Valentine's Event 2024]
#guys i went through every post of mine i know these are mostly short but i wrote a lot these past few months#and why was my first post about mushitaro selling me bitcoin#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#this is for the perosn who wanted it#its ALL there now#even the viagra post#you can now see EVERYTHING#if you're noticing i may or may not love tecchou#and bully the shit out of dazai
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#Explore our comprehensive range of ED medicines#offering effective solutions for enhancing male performance and intimacy. Our online pharmacy ensures discreet delivery and competitive pri#serving customers across the USA and Europe.#Buy ED medicine online#When targeting audiences in the USA and Europe for selling erectile dysfunction (ED) medicine via a website#it's essential to focus on keywords that potential customers commonly search for. Here are some effective keywords and a brief description#**Description:**#**Keywords:**#1. Buy ED medicine online#2. Erectile dysfunction treatment#3. Generic Viagra alternatives#4. Sildenafil Citrate tablets#5. Best ED pills#6. Cheap ED medication#7. Online pharmacy USA#8. Europe ED drugs#9. ED medicine reviews#10. Fast shipping ED pills#These keywords are strategically chosen to target individuals actively searching for ED treatment options#emphasizing affordability#reliability (online purchase and delivery)#and product variety (including generic alternatives). Incorporating these keywords into your website content#product listings#and marketing efforts can help optimize visibility and attract qualified leads from the USA and Europe.#Erectile dysfunction treatment#Generic Viagra alternatives#Sildenafil Citrate tablets#Best ED pills#Cheap ED medication#Online pharmacy USA
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What you're all talking about? I am getting five different versions of ads for viagra since 2020.
Sword Lady crossed my dash like three times and I am pretty sure that two times were posts with a screenshot of her.
I find it so strange that we seem to all see the same advertisements on here. We all see sword lady, right? That is not how other sites work.
#that post summoned the wrong ad#my viagra ad is still going strong and Idk why#but srsly sword lady is so rare on my dash#it could be a myth#she came to me in screenshots but not as an ad#tumblr showed it to me once to know what everyone is talking about and then returned to trying to sell viagra to me#guess that's what I get for talking about giving my cactus viagra
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Unveiling the Truth: Do Online Pharmacies Really Sell Viagra?
In today's digital age, the convenience of online shopping has extended to various aspects of our lives, including healthcare. Online pharmacies have emerged as a popular option for purchasing prescription medications, including Viagra, a well-known medication used to treat erectile dysfunction. But with convenience comes concerns about safety, authenticity, and legality.
The Rise of Online Pharmacies
The advent of online pharmacies has significantly changed the way people access medications. These virtual stores promise the ease of ordering prescription drugs from the comfort of your own home, often at competitive prices. This accessibility has led many individuals to consider purchasing Viagra and other medications online, rather than going through the traditional brick-and-mortar pharmacy route.
The Attraction of Online Viagra Purchases
One of the main reasons individuals are drawn to purchasing Viagra from online pharmacies is privacy. Erectile dysfunction is a sensitive issue for many, and buying medication discreetly from the privacy of their own homes can be appealing. Moreover, online pharmacies often offer lower prices compared to physical stores, making the medication more affordable for those who might not have insurance coverage.
The Legitimacy Challenge
While there are reputable online pharmacies that adhere to regulations and prioritize customer safety, the internet is also rife with unscrupulous vendors looking to capitalize on unsuspecting customers. The challenge lies in differentiating between legitimate online pharmacies and illegal ones.
The Risks of Counterfeit Viagra
One of the greatest concerns associated with purchasing Viagra online is the risk of counterfeit medication. Counterfeit Viagra can be ineffective at best and hazardous to health at worst. These fake medications may not contain the active ingredient (sildenafil citrate) in the correct amount or at all, rendering them ineffective in treating erectile dysfunction. Additionally, they might contain harmful substances that could lead to adverse health effects.
Red Flags to Watch For
When considering purchasing Viagra from an online pharmacy, it's crucial to watch out for red flags that indicate the pharmacy may not be trustworthy:
No Prescription Required: Legitimate online pharmacies will always require a valid prescription from a licensed healthcare provider before dispensing prescription medications like Viagra.
Unrealistically Low Prices: If the price seems too good to be true, it probably is. Counterfeit medication vendors often lure customers with significantly discounted prices.
No Contact Information: A legitimate online pharmacy should provide clear contact information, including a physical address and phone number.
Lack of Regulatory Approval: Reputable online pharmacies will display certifications from regulatory bodies, such as the FDA (U.S. Food and Drug Administration) or relevant health authorities in your country.
No Pharmacist Available: A genuine online pharmacy should have licensed pharmacists available to answer customer questions and provide guidance.
Conclusion
The question of whether online pharmacies sell Viagra has a complex answer. Yes, online pharmacies do sell Viagra, but not all of them are trustworthy sources. It's essential to exercise caution and do thorough research before making a purchase. Opt for reputable online pharmacies with proper licensing, clear contact information, and a requirement for a valid prescription. Your health and safety should always be a top priority, and it's worth taking the extra steps to ensure that you're purchasing genuine Viagra from a reliable source.
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hiii i might’ve sent this in already (you can just ignore this if i have) but i was thinking dealer rafe + sex pollen (like maybe a new drug he’s selling or something) possibly with dubcon?
warnings: dealer!rafe, kinda mean!rafe, reader is a stripper (you could read her lore here), brother’s best friend trope, dubcon (rafe drugs reader without her knowing), implied enemies, slut shaming (?), bratty behavior lol, rafe calls reader a bitch, rafe walks in on reader humping her pillow, manipulation, blackmail, oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex, rough sex, dirty talk, degradation, dumbification, hair pulling, pussy slapping, multiple orgasms, finger sucking, pull out method
a/n: i made a fic not too long ago with rafe on viagra lol, so this one will have the tables turned <3
wc: 3.3k
“are you sure this stuff even works?” rafe looked down at the little pink pill barry placed in his hand. “trust me, it does.” he winked, pulling the neckline of his shirt down to reveal the assortment of hickeys littered across his skin. “my girl nearly ate me up, country club.” rafe sighed through his nostrils. at least one of them was getting laid. rafe had been so busy lately, he felt like he couldn’t catch any downtime. between selling with barry and dealing with his own shit at home, having sex was the last thing on his mind. surprisingly.
“so.. what? we’re supplying this now?” rafe placed the pill in a small bag, his business partner shaking his head. “i’ll tell you what; you could try it out yourself and decide if you want to make a little bit of pocket change off of it.” barry winked. “and who the hell would i give this to?” just then, you walked through the door, your heels clacking with each step. you looked up at rafe and rolled your eyes. “does he not have a home? why does he always have to be here?” you walked past him, your perfume intoxicating rafe more than any drug him and barry had laid out on the table.
“nice to see you too.” rafe watched you walk down the hallway, your hips swaying deliciously in that mini skirt of yours. “watch those eyes.” barry nudged him. clearing his throat awkwardly, rafe pocketed the pills, knowing exactly who he was going to have the pleasure of trying them out on later. “look, i got some money waiting for me on the mainland, i was wondering if you could break all this stuff up and bag everything while i’m gone? i’ll throw you a few hundred if you do.” rafe nodded, not having anything else planned for the rest of the day. “thanks, man. i’ll be back in a few hours.”
with that, barry left, leaving you and rafe alone in his trailer. you had changed out of your outfit and into a pair of sleeping shorts, fuzzy slippers adorning your feet as you pulled a pink crop top over your head. rafe could hear your music playing from your room, the mere presence of you making it impossible for him to focus. “where did barry go?” you walked out, opening the fridge even though you knew it was empty. rafe looked back, swallowing thickly as he eyed your bare legs. “uhm— he said he needed to get some money on the mainland, so it’ll be a while before he comes back..”
you noticed the way rafe’s voice lowered at the last part of his sentence, his suggestive tone making you raise a brow. “oh, really?” you took a seat across from him, leaning forward as he glanced at your chest. he hummed, his leg bouncing as he tried his best to distract himself from the curves of your breasts spilling out of your top. “yeah.” he weighed out some blow before putting it in a small baggie. the only reason why rafe felt on edge around you was because he knew he couldn’t have you. you were aware of this, and in turn you made it really hard for him to resist you.
“so, uhh— how was work last night?” rafe needed to make conversation or he was going to become stuck fantasizing about those pretty nails of yours digging into his skin. “since when do you ask me about my job?” you giggled, twisting open your water bottle before taking a sip. “well i have to form some sort of imagination of the place since barry said it’s off limits and all.” rafe met your eyes momentarily. “so? is barry is your daddy or something?” you watched as rafe’s jaw ticked. he didn’t think hearing the word ‘daddy’ would sound so enticing leaving your mouth til’ now.
“no, but i wonder where yours is.” he shot back in an attempt to put a wall back up. “that makes two of us.” you laughed. rafe shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips. “seriously though, i think you would like to see me perform..” you scooted closer to him, making rafe draw a sharp breath. barry would kill him if he tried to make any kind of move on you, let alone go to the club where you danced at. “yeah, right. your brother would really have it out for me if i did that.” rafe scoffed. with the way you were looking at him right now, he was starting to think fighting barry would all be worth it.
“what if i invited you? what would he say then?” you were dangerously close to him now, your breath fanning the side of his neck. rafe’s fingertips itched to touch you. just as rafe was about to fall into your trap, you whispered in his ear; “too bad i would never do that, though.” you got up, nudging his shoulder with a laugh. rafe glared at you.“that’s real funny, is that how you trick those poor old men into giving you money down there?” rafe snarked. “no. unlike you, they might get a kiss on the cheek.” you winked, getting your phone from your room.
rafe made sure you were out of sight before he took the pink pills out of his pocket. throwing a couple in your water bottle, rafe shaked it until they fully dissolved. maybe he shouldn’t have done that, but you did have a point in what you said earlier. what if you came onto him, and not the other way around? “how long are you going to be here?” you came back, chugging the water bottle before plopping down on the couch. well, that was easy. “just until i’m done with all of this.” rafe muttered, the sight of your ass peeking out from under your shorts making him wet his bottom lip.
for the longest time, you had always been the forbidden fruit, the one thing he could never have. and he hated it. “well get on with it.” rafe swore you had enough sass for the entire island to have some. ignoring your comment, rafe got back to work, the sound of the tv providing background noise for the two of you. about fifteen minutes passed, and rafe could see you squirming from the corner of his eye. you looked bothered, your thighs rubbing together as rafe fixed his attention on you. “you alright over there?” you sighed, flashing him a look as you crossed one leg over the other.
“m’fine!” you were so sexually frustrated right now, it was like a wave of lust had just washed over you. rafe watched the way your eyes fluttered closed, your chest rising and falling with every breath. “are you sure?” rafe spoke again, and this time the sound of his voice made butterflies swarm your tummy. opening your eyes, you leaned the weight of your head on one hand, inspecting the man who sat not too far away from you. while there was always a tension there between you two, you couldn’t deny just how handsome he was. blue eyes, sharp features that made him look rough, his shoulders..
you shook the thoughts out of your head. leaving the living room with a sigh, you threw yourself on your bed. with each aching minute that passed, you only grew hotter for the man in your living room. you cursed under your breath, making sure the blanket you had hung up in your doorway was blocking all view from the outside before you grabbed your small pillow, tucking it between your legs as you grinded your hips into the soft material. with your shorts and your underwear in the way, it was hard to get any of the friction you needed. “fuck!” you whimpered in frustration.
‘what the fuck is wrong with me?’ you cried, feeling the most neediest and horniest you’ve ever felt in your life.. and that’s saying a lot. you continued rocking your hips on the playboy logo of a pillow, sitting up so you could rut against it shamelessly. your fingers dug into your sheets as your clit barely grazed where you needed it most. a moan slipped from your lips, the sound catching rafe’s attention. he paused all movements, his cock stirring in his pants when he heard another moan, this time followed by a whine. rafe listened to you until he couldn’t sit there any longer.
creeping up to the entryway of your room, rafe swung your makeshift curtain out of the way, revealing the sexiest sight he’s ever seen. there you were, shorts and underwear long forgotten on your bedroom floor as your teeth pulled on your bottom lip. “what the fuck are you doing?” you gasped, your eyes shooting open as you rushed to cover yourself. “what the hell, rafe!” you shrieked, scrambling underneath your bedsheets. “humping a pillow, y/n? how pathetic do you have to be to do that?” you glared at him, your lips parting slightly at the erection in his pants.
“i—” you couldn’t find your words, your cheeks heating in embarrassment. “what would barry think of this if i told him?” rafe stepped closer, “he already thinks you’re a slut for being a stripper, imagine if i told him you were humping your pillow like a dumb bunny while i was just in the next room? he’d hate you.” your heart dropped at his words, panic settling in the pit of your gut. “no, please, don’t tell him!” you sat up, tears pricking your eyes as rafe took a seat at the edge of your bed. “i don’t know what’s happening to me, okay? i’ve never felt like this before!” you cried out.
“what do you mean?” rafe acted coy, as if he didn’t just drug you with enough horny pills to keep you soaked and needy for days. “i’m just— ugh, you’re the last person i should be explaining this to!” you rested your head in your hands, the wetness between your thighs making you shift uncomfortably. “tell me,” rafe urged, “or you’ll be stuck explaining this to your brother..” he shook his head, resting a hand on your blanket-clad thigh. the weight of rafe’s hand made a shiver run down your spine. “okay, okay..” you sighed, finally meeting his eyes. “one minute i was fine, and then the next.. i’m like this.”
rafe watched the way you shrunk in on yourself, your eyebrows etched in embarrassment. the way you were acting right now was such a stark contrast to your usual bitchy attitude. “like what?” rafe pushed forward, wanting, begging you to confide in him to help you out with your little problem. your lips parted, your gaze shooting down to the adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. oh, how bad you wanted to kiss it. “like..” your voice was barely above a whisper as rafe slowly pulled the covers off of you, “like i need to be fucked.” rafe’s eyebrows knitted together, your words making his cock twitch.
“sucks to be you.” rafe stood up, about to leave your room before you stopped him. “wait!” you cried out, “where are you going?” you crawled to the edge of your bed, fisting the back of his shirt. rafe smiled to himself, internally singing before he turned around to see you on your knees, your eyes wide and needy as you gazed up at him. “what? i’m leaving.” rafe pulled away, in which you shook your head. he was having way too much fun right now. “no!” you pulled him down, “please stay..” you looked down at his lips, running your nails across the back of his neck. “help me, help you.”
rafe leaned in first, taking your lips with his own as you moaned against his mouth. “you’re gonna help me, alright.” he pulled you on top of his lap, your thighs settling on either side of his waist as he fought to take off your baby tee. lifting your arms up, rafe groaned when your tits fell softly out of your top. tossing the garment aside, you let out a moan when rafe attached his desperate mouth to your sensitive bud, his tongue circling your nipple as you held him close to your chest. you moaned with every stroke of his hands against your skin, your hips grinding on his erection.
“holy, fuck!” rafe pulled away for a moment, looking down between the two of you where you grinded on his shorts. you were so wet, you left a wet patch where you rutted against him. leaning back on his hands, rafe watched as you used him to get yourself off, your glossy cunt sparkling underneath the light of the setting sun filtering through your blinds. you were so pretty like this, rafe felt like he could cum from looking at your pleasure filled face alone. “does that feel good?” rafe groaned when you picked up your pace, his length just throbbing to get out of the confines of his underwear.
“mm, fuck— yes, rafe!” you kept moving until your hips stuttered, your first orgasm hitting you pathetically as you whimpered and whined for something more. still shaking in the aftershocks of your orgasm, you got down on shaky legs, not wasting any time in getting rafe’s shorts off. you were so desperate for his cock, rafe smirked when he saw the way your eyes widened when his length sprung up against his stomach. just as you reached for what you needed most, rafe stopped you by grabbing your hand. “nah, you don’t get it that easy,” he shook his head, “lay down.”
those were his last words before he had you laying flat on your bed, your head hanging off the edge as he fucked your throat mercilessly. “thought you were just gonna get what you wanted, huh? fuck no.” he said through gritted teeth. tears were streaming down your face, the noises bouncing off of the walls right now were nothing short of obscene. “always walking around here acting like a spoiled brat, fuck you.” rafe spat, the tip of your nose hitting his pubic bone. he held your hands in his, not allowing you to have any leverage as he fucked your face.
your tongue was dancing around his cock, the sensation bringing him closer to that glorious edge. “o-oh, fuck..” rafe sucked in a breath, stilling as you swallowed around his tip. pulling out to give you some air, you managed to gasp before he slid back in, a mixture of spit and precum connecting you two together. “m’gonna fuck this pretty little mouth of yours until you choke..” his hand snaked down to the apex of your thighs where he gave your soaked folds a harsh slap. you squealed at the stinging sensation, his cock continuously hitting the back of your throat.
sure enough, you gagged around him, his hot cum painting your tongue. rafe doubled over with a hiss, his mouth falling open as you took every last drop. “that’s perfect. yeah, fuckin’ take it.” rafe slapped your cunt once more, eliciting a whine from your lips as he pulled away. you were breathless, your wrists burning from the unforgiving grip rafe had on them. in one swift movement, rafe flipped you onto your back, using his large hands to pin your thighs to your mattress. “beg for it, you fucking slut.” rafe teased your entrance with his glistening tip, your eyebrows knitting together at his cruel ministrations.
“please! i need you so bad, ray!” fuck, you were a mess right now. with your lipgloss smeared all over your chin, those tear stained cheeks, and disheveled hair.. rafe couldn’t help but admire the sight. everything rafe wanted was so close, yet so far, he wanted to drag this out for as long as possible. who knew when you would be so needy and pliant for him like this again? “really? i don’t think so.” he quipped. letting out a shaky breath, you reached down between the two of you and lined him up with your entrance before sliding him in with a pierced gasp.
rafe’s eyes screwed shut, his hips moving on their own accord as he finally gave in to you. the man on top of you was in a daze. you were so warm, and so wet, he didn’t know how he was going to pull through with the way you were sucking him in with every thrust. “fuck.” he leaned down, taking your lips with his own. he tasted so good on your tongue, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he fucked into you. his pace was brutal, his toned stomach smacking against your clit as you moaned in his ear. “oh, my god!” you couldn’t help your nails from raking down his back.
“look at you..” he pulled away, grabbing a fistful of your hair so you can meet his eyes. “you’re just a bimbo whore with tits for brains, you know that?” you whimpered at his words, the degrading statement only making you clench around him tighter. rafe groaned, he should’ve known you’d be into that shit. unpinning your thighs from your bed, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he caged you between his arms, his biceps on either side of your face. he was a lot closer like this, the intimacy of it making your heart flutter in your chest. “i always thought you were h-hot.” you managed to mewl.
“yeah?” he inserted a thumb between your lips, your tongue circling around his finger. “mhmm— yes!” rafe watched with dark eyes as you started sucking on the digit. “why the fuck didn’t you said anything then? we could’ve done this a lot sooner, baby.” he tsked. pulling his hand away from your mouth, he replaced his thumb with his lips, swallowing all of your pretty sounds. cupping his face, you pulled away with a bated breath, your orgasm beginning to simmer in your core. “rafe?” your face morphed into one of full blown pleasure, your eyebrows knitting together as rafe stared you down.
“you’re close?” he could tell by the way your thighs trembled at his sides that you were about to hit your peak. you nodded weakly, your eyes meeting his as he watched you come undone beneath him. you paused, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your lips parted in a silent moan. rafe knew as soon as you were able to get a breath out you were going to be in hysterics. sure enough, you gasped, a sob ripping from your throat as your body shook. from your head to your toes, you were buzzing in pure bliss. rafe stroked your face, bringing you down from your high with whispers of praise.
“so fuckin’ pretty.”
“shhh, i’m right here.”
you embraced him once more, pressing a kiss to his neck before he pulled out, using a hand to fist his length until he spilled onto your folds. you pouted, your teary eyes gazing up at him through your eyelashes. “why didn’t you stay inside?” you whined, the man on top of you breathing heavily. “w-what?” he panted, his cock twitching with sensitivity. “i wanted you to cum inside me, why did you pull out?” rafe did a double take at your words, his mind reeling with ideas of filling you up. “you’d be okay with that?” a hint of a smile played on his lips when you hummed in agreement. “wanna go again?”
you two were so busy building up foreplay, that neither of you heard the front door open. “i forgot my stupid wallet!” barry shouted. you moaned, your hips chasing rafe’s hand as he buried his fingers in your cunt. “did you hear that?” rafe froze, looking at the doorway of your room. “it’s nothing, i left the tv on, remember!” you turned his attention back on you, both of you laughing against each other’s skin. “y/n, have you seen my—” you and rafe jumped when barry barged in, a scream escaping you as you scrambled to cover yourself.
“i’m gonna fuckin’ kill you, country club!”
#❤︎₊ ⊹ works#₊˚⊹♡ rafe#₊˚⊹♡ bitchy!pogue!reader#dealer!rafe#outer banks#outer banks smut#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#obx imagine#rafe obx#obx x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine
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Opening up latest on the male reader tag today like
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Your best friend Wade who always jokingly flirts with you the way he flirts with everyone - and you hate it because you have a real genuine crush on him and the flirting doesn’t mean anything… does it? It has to take a mutual friend to be like “oh my god he’s in love with you and doesn’t know how to tell you, so that’s why he’s always joking about boners” (please and thank u ilu 😌)
omg avo this kicked my ass, the amount of pining for Wade as he (jokingly, you think) flirts with you would be off the charts 🥲💖 I wrote a little drabble with how that might go, I love you and your ideas - thanks so much for sending this to me!!!
— cause every time we touch (i get this feeling)
best friend!wade wilson x mutant!reader
<1k | flirting, dirty jokes, heaps of pining
Blow job. Leg Spreader. Slippery Nipple. Liquid Viagra. Sex on the Pool Table. Pink Silk Panties.
Each time Wade comes into Sister Margaret’s - which is four or five times a week - he asks for dirtier and more obscure drinks.
"Wishful thinking", he tells you, each time.
Even with the roll of your eyes, you have to admit that it keeps you on your toes. That you look forward to seeing your best friend so often - tamping down the jolt in your belly, night after night.
Reminding yourself that yes, he got you this job, but he's not here to see you.
That this always was his spot.
It had been an easy sell. Used to working overnight shifts - security, back then. After the disaster with Weasel, they had been desperate for a replacement. Wade had come to you immediately, dropping to his knees as you opened the door.
Winning you over with a "you could literally get paid to hang out with me. How is this not a win-win-win? How is this not your dream job?"
And here, you didn't have to hide what or who you were. Reading feelings and intent were a bonus, when a handshake could tell you everything you needed to know. Their feelings spilled as easily as they were written, when you were negotiating contracts.
It also helped in-house. A human lie detector. Able to break up fights, settle arguments. A party trick, when things got slow. The regulars trying to get things past you - tales based in truth spun tall, seeing when you'd catch them.
Wade never plays, but you think that's because you know him so well.
And what seems like a sell, quickly evolves into more. Warping, as days pass. Spending more time with a crush sounds tempting, on paper.
The reality is something else.
Yes, there is a seat saved for him at the bar. Literally saved - his name scrawled across the vinyl, and you still haven't been able to scrub it out. Stopping by at all hours to chit chat.
Teasing you - how he's "so glad he doesn't have to stalk you at your old job anymore". An over-the-top sigh about being relieved that you're safe now - in your new job, surrounded by mercs.
Begging for the best job. Puppy-dog eyes. Fake coupons for favors that would make a sinner blush. Crossing his heart that you could have anything, and he means anything you wanted, if he could only get "that thing involving the murder clowns".
It's enough to make you hope.
Later, at home - in the early hours as you're pulled under. Replaying his comments. The filthy jokes and the shameless flirting - wondering if that's all they were.
Wondering if he'd be waiting for you tomorrow, perched on his stool.
But there's the downfall.
You see him - but you also see him with everyone else.
The charming smiles. Head thrown back in a laugh as he works the room. A friend to all, and as you watch him - perched on the knee of a goddess of mercenary as he yaps away, you can't help the swift current of jealousy.
Of foolishness.
It's enough that you're almost regretting agreeing.
Your mood is sullen, as you wipe down glasses. Trying to ignore the ache when you see him flirt. That realization that the something special you thought he had with you, might just be a part of his personality.
And when Dopinder shuffles from the back with more ice for the chiller behind the bar, it only takes one look at you before he's sighing.
"Not again. Please, I am begging you. I cannot take more of your yearning.”
Your lips quirk. Hadn't realized you'd become that obvious. He'd become your go-to, in the long hours you spend together behind the bar. Pinkie-promising not to say a word - but you always thought you'd had a decent handle on your expressions.
"We don't have to talk about it." Your hands raise, placating, "Just let me yearn in peace. I'll get over it."
"You know that almost half of what DP makes a month is funneled back in here, right?" He gives you a long look, "Before you, I saw him once a week. I had to beg him to come get his paycheck."
Doubt still lingers.
"Doesn't mean anything," You shrug - eyes dropping, as you help him restock.
"You do not think Mr. Pool worships the ground you walk on?"
The intensity of his question has you side-eying him, "I mean... I don't think he sees me that way. He acts the same with me as he does with everyone."
“Sure.” He huffs, leaning against the bartop, just as Wade plunks down in the seat in front of you.
“God, I haven’t been over here in like-,” Wade checks a fake watch, “Fifteen minutes? Feels like longer. Felt like a fucking hour.”
Pivoting back and forth on the stool as he adds, “Is it possible for people to get separation anxiety? Or is that just dogs? Is this how Dogpool feels when I’m gone?”
You just manage to catch the last bit, as Dopinder slips away.
“Exactly the same.”
Tonight, Wade is the first person that sits down in front of you for the game.
A frown, as you peel off your gloves - your barrier, to the outside world.
His own already bare - sliding back-and-forth over his suit-clad thighs. You'd mistake it for nerves, if you weren't so sure Wade had never been nervous in his life.
"What's your story, Wilson?" You ask, "Hope you brought something good."
"Oh, it's a whopper. A real fucking doozy. Apparently, you're not gonna believe it. " His laugh is a little too loud, and your eyes narrow, "But let's give it a whirl, okay?"
There's a flicker, behind the bar. A sideways look towards the bar, where Dopinder's hands cover his face. You don't need to touch him to read the guilt written across his features - the way he almost flinches, under your glare.
You're going to fucking kill him.
The sound of your name brings you back.
“Ready to play?”
Wade's hands rest face-up on the table - an offering. For once in his life he almost looks serious, and it’s enough to bring you back.
A breath - before you align your own. Letting them drop down, skin mapping against skin for the first time.
It floods through you.
The lick of heat that almost feels like a caress. A deep yearn that causes your own heart to twinge, layering with the feeling of need. Desire. Want.
It's familiar. It mirrors something deep inside, something that’s become as much a part of you as flesh and bone.
Oh.
A laugh slips from you, breaking the beat of silence. Relief tinged with disbelief - your smile stretching wide.
“Yeah?” You breathe, softening.
“Yeah.” He laughs, “Thought I was being obvious. But you are pound-cake dense, apparently.”
Hands flipping over, to entwine between yours. Letting that feeling inside him linger, settling warm and comforting over your bare skin.
“But I like that about you.” Another huff of a laugh, “Like all of you, really. Always have.”
It makes your heart ache. In a way that finally feels full, feels right - instead of the near-agony you’ve been bearing for weeks.
Only you could be such an idiot.
thanks for reading! 💖
#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson x you#deadpool x reader#deadpool x you#requests#avocado-writings#eupheme answers
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General Mills and cheaply bought "dietitians" co-opted the anti-diet movement
I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in NEXT THURSDAY (Apr 11) in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroehttps://cockeyed.com/lessons/viagra/viagra.html, then PROVIDENCE, RI (Apr 12), and beyond!
Steve Bannon isn't wrong: for his brand of nihilistic politics to win, all he has to do is "flood the zone with shit," demoralizing people to the point where they no longer even try to learn the truth.
This is really just a more refined, more potent version of the tactical doubt sown by Big Tobacco about whether smoking caused cancer, a playbook later adopted by the fossil fuel industry to sell climate denial. You know Darrell Huff's 1954 classic How To Lie With Statistics? Huff was a Big Tobacco shill (his next book, which wasn't ever published, was How To Lie With Cancer Statistics). His mission wasn't to help you spot statistical malpractice – an actual thing that is an actual problem that you should actually learn to spot. It was to turn you into a nihilist who didn't believe anything could be known:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/04/how-to-truth/#harford
Corporations don't need you to believe that their products are beneficial or even non-harmful. They just need you to believe nothing. If you don't know what's true, then why not just do whatever feels good, man? #YOLO!
These bannonfloods of shit are a favored tactic of strongmen and dictators. Their grip on power doesn't depend on their citizens trusting them – it's enough that they trust no one:
http://jonathanstray.com/networked-propaganda-and-counter-propaganda
Bannonflooding is especially beloved of the food industry. Food is essential, monopolized, and incredibly complicated, and many of the most profitable strategies for growing, processing and preparing food are very bad for the people who eat that food. Rather than sacrificing profits, the food industry floods the zone with shit, making it impossible to know what's true, in hopes that we will just eat whatever they're serving:
https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.2003460
Now, the "nothing can be known" gambit only works if it's really hard to get at the truth. So it helps that nutrition and diet are very complex subjects, but it helps even more that the nutrition and diet industry are a cesspool of quacks and junk science. This is a "scientific discipline" whose prestigious annual meetings are sponsored (and catered) by McDonald's:
https://www.motherjones.com/environment/2014/05/my-trip-mcdonalds-sponsored-nutritionist-convention/
It's a "science" whose most prominent pitchmen peddle quack nostrums and sue the critics who point out (correctly) that eating foods high in chlorophyll will not "oxygenate your blood" (hint, chlorophyll only makes oxygen in the presence of light, which is notably lacking in your colon):
https://www.badscience.net/2007/02/ms-gillian-mckeith-banned-from-calling-herself-a-doctor/
When the quack-heavy world of nutrition combines with the socially stigmatized world of weight-loss, you get a zone ripe for shitflooding. The majority of Americans are "overweight" (according to a definition that relies on the unscientific idea of BMI) and nearly half of Americans are "obese." These numbers have been climbing steadily since the 1970s, and every diet turns out to be basically bullshit:
https://headgum.com/factually-with-adam-conover/what-does-ozepmic-actually-do-with-dr-dhruv-khullar
Notwithstanding the new blockbuster post-Ozempic drugs, we're been through an unbroken 50-year run of more and more of us being fatter and fatter, even as fat stigma increased. Fat people are treated as weak-willed and fundamentally unhealthy, while the most prominent health-risks of being fat are roundly neglected: the mental health effects of being shamed, and the physical risks of having doctors ignore your health complaints, no matter how serious they sound, and blame them on your weight:
https://maintenancephase.buzzsprout.com/1411126/11968083-glorifying-obesity-and-other-myths-about-fat-people
Fat people and their allies have banded together to address these real, urgent harms. The "body acceptance" movement isn't merely about feeling good in your own skin: it's also about fighting discrimination, demanding medical care (beyond "lose some weight") and warning people away from getting on the diet treadmill, which can lead to dangerous eating disorders and permanent weight gain:
https://www.beacon.org/You-Just-Need-to-Lose-Weight-P1853.aspx
Fat stigma is real. The mental health risks of fat-shaming are real. Eating disorders are real. Discrimination against fat people is real. The fact that these things are real doesn't mean that the food industry can't flood the zone with shit, though. On the contrary: the urgency of these issues, combined with the poor regulation of dietitians, makes the "what should you eat" zone perfect for flooding with endless quantities of highly profitable shit.
Perhaps you've gotten some of this shit on you. Have you found yourself watching a video from a dietitian influencer like Cara Harbstreet, Colleen Christensen or Lauren Smith, promoting "health at any size" with hashtags like #DerailTheShame and #AntiDiet? These were paid campaigns sponsored by General Mills, Pepsi, and other multinational, multibillion-dollar corporations.
Writing for The Examination, Sasha Chavkin, Anjali Tsui, Caitlin Gilbert and Anahad O'Connor describe the way that some of the world's largest and most profitable corporations have hijacked a movement where fat people and their allies fight stigma and shame and used it to peddle the lie that their heavily processed, high-calorie food is good for you:
https://www.theexamination.org/articles/as-obesity-rises-big-food-and-dietitians-push-anti-diet-advice
It's a surreal tale. They describe a speech by Amy Cohn, General Mills’ senior manager for nutrition, to an audience at a dietitian's conference, where Cohn "denounced the media for 'pointing the finger at processed foods' and making consumers feel ashamed of their choices." This is some next-level nihilism: rather than railing against the harmful stigma against fat people, Cohn wants us to fight the stigma against Cocoa Puffs.
This message isn't confined to industry conferences. Dietitians with large Tiktok followings like Cara Harbstreet then carry the message out to the public. In Harbstreet's video promoting Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs and Trix, she says, "I will always advocate for fearlessly nourishing meals, including cereal…Because everyone deserves to enjoy food without judgment, especially kids":
https://www.tiktok.com/@streetsmart.rd/video/7298403730989436206
Dietitians, nutritionists and the food industry have always had an uncomfortably close relationship, but the industry's shitflooding kicked into high gear when the FDA proposed rules limiting which foods the industry can promote as "healthy." General Mills, Kelloggs and Post have threatened a First Amendment suit against such a regulation, arguing that they have a free speech right to describe manifestly unhealthy food as "healthy."
The anti-diet movement – again, a legitimate movement aimed at fighting the dangerous junk science behind dieting – has been co-opted by the food industry, who are paying dietitian influencers to say things like "all foods have value" while brandishing packages of Twix and Reese's. In their Examination article, the authors profile people who struggled with their weight, then, after encountering the food industry's paid disinformation, believed that "healthy at any size" meant that it would be unhealthy to avoid highly processed, high calorie food. These people gained large amounts of weight, and found their lives constrained and their health severely compromised.
I've been overweight all my life. I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting when I was 12. I come from a family of overweight people with the chronic illnesses often associated with being fat. This is a subject that's always on my mind. I even wrote a whole novel about the promise and peril of a weight-loss miracle:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781429969284/makers
I think the anti-diet movement, and its associated ideas like body acceptance and healthy at every size, are enormously positive developments and hugely important. It's because I value these ideas that I'm so disgusted with Big Food and its cynical decision to flood the zone with shit. It's also why I'm so furious with dietitians and nutritionists for failing to self-regulate and become a real profession, the kind that censures and denounces quacks and shills.
I have complicated feelings about Ozempic and its successors, but even if these prove to be effective and safe in the long term, and even if we rein in the rapacious pharma companies so that they no longer sell a $5 product for $1000, I would still want dietary science to clean up its act:
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2816824
I'm not a nihilist. I think we can use science to discover truths – about ourselves and our world. I want to know those truths, and I think they can be known. The only people who benefit from convincing you that the truth is unknowable are the people who want to lie to you.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/05/corrupt-for-cocoa-puffs/#flood-the-zone-with-shit
#pluralistic#corruption#nutrition#food#diets#dieticians#nutritionists#junk science#junk food#astroturf#fat acceptance#fatphobia#health#nihilism#steve bannon#flood the zone with shit#general mills#dietitians
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new hobby: click an ad you see for a product, spend some time on the website and then leave. every time that ad comes up again, go to the website again but dont buy anything. their algorithm will think you’re interested and will keep advertising the product to you, therefore spending an unnecessary amount of their advertising budget on you.
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can we get headcanons for gilf!Joel maybe? his slicked back hair in tlou ep3 stirred something in me 🥵🥵🥵
i like the way you think…
Silver Fox ! Joel Miller Headcanons NSFW!!
Traditional old man in every sense of the word, he doesn’t make cheesy comments when you grab a door handle but he does give you a scolding little glare that totally doesn’t light a fire in your panties.
Self conscious about his somewhat saggy skin around his chest, middle, and extremities even after you’ve assured him until you’re blue in the face. You do help him though. Watching how attracted you are to his body even aged as it is definitely strokes his ego.
Has an online refillable prescription for Viagra that gets delivered to his apartment, and when he takes it he becomes an absolute fiend.
Usually without the Viagra he still is able to throughly satisfy you with ages of foreplay and a nice thorough fucking, leaving you both satisfied after one climactic round.
But when he takes Viagra-
You better clear your schedule and invest in a massage gun for your legs afterwards because you are going to be SORE.
I’m talking several positions, screaming until your throat hurts, your pussy feeling raw and used, daylong marathon sex.
Joel doesn’t seem to soften even a fraction until your body is wailing in protest and you can’t feel your thighs anymore.
You don’t think he could possibly have any more left in him until he’s once again emptying his heavy, full balls into your cunt; adding to the previous loads from the past six rounds he’s already shot into your body.
When he’s not fucking you stupid with the assistance of his little blue pills, he’s treating you like the princess you’d expect he would.
Don’t even think about carrying your own groceries, what are you, crazy?
Speaking of groceries…
If you aren’t living together yet best believe he’s on your doorstep every Sunday at 11AM with a truck full of groceries, dropping them off after church let’s out and he’s free to go to the store.
He makes you sit and continue sipping your coffee/tea while he puts them away, simultaneously checking the sell-by dates of everything in your fridge and pantry like a man obsessed.
Like a true old fashioned southern boy, he won’t tell you he’s in love with you. But he will point out the amount of things expired in your house.
“Come on, now. You’re gonna get sick, this is ridiculous-“ As if he hasn’t brought you your favorite brand of cereal and all your preferred snacks. Even all those “Shitty, organic, cardboard crap” things you love.
Never had a good plate of grits? He’s making them meticulously for you the morning after a hookup. “Eat, you need it. That stuff’ll keep you goin’ all day.”
Is all too supportive of your flimsy little sundresses. The gauzy fabric floating around your legs like a visualization of your perfume, nearly beckoning him closer. Even when you’re looking like a good little church girl in your soft, flowy dresses… all he can think about is how easy it would be to bend you over and have his way with you.
Which he does the second he brings you home from his cousin’s cookout in the suburbs.
Did I mention that he got a vasectomy after his divorce? Still, seeing you with his now adult daughter makes him daydream about getting you pregnant.
Which he finds insane… He doesn’t want any more kids, he physically can’t have any more kids… But the only thing he can think about right now is burying his cum in your pussy and keeping you pampered in his house with your belly full of his babies.
That vasectomy won’t stop him from trying his damndest, though. Especially after Sarah (who he had young) has her first baby and he watches you hold the six month old infant for the first time.
This man is a GENTLEMAN in the most old fashioned sense of the word.
Like, I cannot stress that enough.
If you’re an independent person, prepare to be thoroughly pampered.
His old fashioned chivalrous ways may be frustrating sometimes but it really does come from a place of just wanting to show his love.
Like when he insists on driving you everywhere whenever you go places together, or when he always finds a way to move you to the side of his body furthest away from the sidewalk when you walk, or when he automatically picks up your purse when you meet so that he can carry it for you.
But you forget all about those minor annoyances when he bends you over your kitchen table and pounds you into next week, muttering nonsense about how you’re too young for him or how you’re such a dirty girl for wanting him and his old man cock.
You moan his name when he grips both your hips in a tight but loving hold, all too willing to forgive him for his incessant door opening when you’re all dumbed down on his cock, the cock which is now way too hard and blood filled because he definitely popped one of your favorite blue pills a while ago.
But much like the gentleman he is, after he fucks you into a blissed-out stupor, he carries you to the bed and wipes your spent pussy clean, cuddling you into the mattress and running his hands through your hair while you both come down from your highs.
When he does get insecure about the age difference between you, all you can do is kiss his leathery, stubbled cheek and wrap your arms around him… Convincing him with your actions instead of words that his age is only a factor in your attraction to him… And that you love him for what makes him him.
this post got way too long but NONNIE I HOPE I DID YOU JUSTICE!!
#dirty old man joel#slutty old man i love him sm#i wasn’t expecting my joel content to get this much traction but i’m so grateful for all you guys who are also stuck in the daddy issues#my father problems are coming in so hard this week#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller one shot#joel miller imagine#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller tlou#joel tlou#joel miller#joel the last of us
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Bethesda assumed people would be happy with the generic quests in Starfield, but they don’t understand what makes Skyrim’s generic quests appealing.
I did a fetch quest in the Reach. The quest was “get an ore sample from Shor’s Stone”. The most generic fetch quest imaginable. Firstly, you learn some lore. You learn that alchemists are involved in mining operations. They don’t just make potions, they analyse ores for miners for whatever reason.
So I get the ore from Shor’s Stone and the guy complains that he’s been waiting. Then I find out why he’s in a bad mood anyway. The mine is overrun with spiders and the guards aren’t doing anything about it. So I kill the spiders and get paid. Not only that, but I’ve made a friend, and also a marriage candidate. Further, the world has physically changed. The miners have gone back to work instead of sitting around all day.
I take the ore back to Riften and the old woman thanks me and gives me some potions. But now she’s my friend and greets me differently. As she is my friend, she counts towards becoming thane, as well as being a potential sacrifice for the Ebony Blade.
That’s one boring fetch quest and I’ve made two friends, become closer to becoming thane, changed the world physically, got a potential husband, and got money and potions. Skyrim’s fetch quests lead you to other quests and other hand-crafted locations. Or at the very least they give you some lore - such as the Hag’s Cure quest in Markarth which is a simple delivery but confirms that viagra exists in Skyrim.
Compare that to a Starfield fetch quest. You come across a generic, unnamed settlement and talk to a generic, unnamed NPC. He also wants me to collect ore, so I do. He pays me, and that’s it. He doesn’t even have a name. There’s no reason to do the quest since i’d get more money from selling 3 guns looted from Spacers. Nothing has changed. No friends or connections made. No lore learnt. The whole quest was a waste of time. Bethesda assumed people would be happy with their generic quests but those quests provide nothing. They’re useless filler that nobody would gain any enjoyment from.
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Zoro and the Aphrodisiac (Zoro x Fem!Reader)
smutty, silly lil one shot ;p
*TW: Explicit/sexual content*
Fanart credits to: @rrrotten!
This image makes me feel things every time I look at it 🙈…
-
It was a dark and stormy night on the Thousand Sunny, but that didn’t stop you from heading into the kitchen for a midnight snack…
-
“What are you doing with that?!” You whispered, slapping Nami’s hand away from the booze barrel she was pouring something into.
“Relax! It’s just a little calming sedative for the boys to chill out tomorrow morning so I can rummage through their clothes and sell some of the ugly ones for a couple extra berries.” She had her tongue out in focus, pouring a clear substance into the barrel. “Something caught my eye in one of the boutiques in town…”
She placed the bottle down to mix what was inside the barrel, so you picked it up to inspect it, making a mental note to bother her about what she wanted later.
The label had a bunch of hearts and upon reading it a bit further, “MAXIMUM STRENGTH AROUSAL SEDATIVE?” You gasped. “Nami, this might put them to sleep but we’re gonna have to spend a couple hours running away from them first… it’s like an aphrodisiac or worse! Practically liquid viagra…”
Snatching the bottle out of your hands, she read the label carefully, scrunching her eyebrows. “Well, fuck.” She chuckled nervously, “At least they’ll knock out eventually…”
“We have to do something about this before breakfast in the morning.” You sighed, placing the lid back on the barrel. “Should we just toss it out now that everyone’s asleep?”
Nami opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a larger presence behind her.
“Throw what away? Better not be talkin’ about my sake.” It was Zoro. He walked past Nami, approaching the barrel.
“Hands off, now.” He lowered his voice, eyes on your hand over the barrel. “Why are you meddling with my stuff?”
You looked over at Nami, silently begging for help.
“It’s pretty late, huh? I’m just gonna leave you two…” Nami began to back out of the kitchen, mouthing an “I’m sorry” before closing the door behind her.
She’s so dead tomorrow, you thought.
Looking back over at Zoro, “You can’t drink this, bud.” You retorted, placing your other hand on it.
He looked visibly more annoyed. “This isn’t a barrel for everyone to drink out of, it has my sake in it so who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” He began to walk toward you, forcing you to back up into the kitchen wall. “Y/N, you just pissed me off and it’s late. You should go to bed.”
“But, I-”
“Go. To. Bed.”
You rolled your eyes, wishing he’d stop treating you like a child.
If he wanted a drink so bad, he was about to find out why he should’ve stayed outta that damn barrel the hard way.
You opted for sleeping at the Sick Bay for the night as you were sure if you saw Nami right now in the Girls’ bedroom area, you’d probably lash out on her over Zoro annoying you.
-
As you drifted in and out of consciousness, you felt your body being shaken by something. You opened your eyes, blinking a couple times to adjust them but all you could see was a blurry silhouette hovering over you in the dimly lit room.
“About fucking time you get up!” Zoro whispered. “I was looking all over for you.”
You sat up in confusion, rubbing your eyes. “You here to pick a fight over your stupid booze again?”
“No, idiot.” Zoro spat, “You put something in my sake! It’s making me feel… weird.”
“It wasn’t me and you’re the idiot for drinking from the barrel when I told you not to!” You slapped his shoulder.
“I don’t take orders from you last time I checked.” He scoffed.
“Yeah? Look where that got you now.” You retorted. “Get out if you don’t need anything else from me.”
He licked his lips, “You always been this feisty or am I just noticing?”
The sudden change in his behavior threw you off guard, but you knew the affect must have been kicking in worse by now.
“Oh, shut up.” You lightly shoved his chest, “That drink is messing you up, making you feel things you shouldn’t…”
He sat on the bed, leaning towards you. “The drink that you’re responsible for spiking?”
“I-I didn’t-”
He began to caress one side of your face, giving you the most intense eye contact he’s ever had, “I think it’s only fair that you’re responsible for relieving me of what I’m feeling right now…”
You were speechless. It was like Zoro left and let Sanji posses his sexy body. This was so unlike him.
You tried to dismiss the fact that the closer he got to you, the more you realized just how damn good looking he was.
“I need you, Y/N.” He whispered, thumb rubbing the corner of your mouth. His eyes followed, looking down at your lips. He licked his own intently. “Make me feel good.”
His voice made you weak in the knees. You closed your eyes in defeat, letting him finally kiss you.
You were torn between wanting him to make you his or still hating him for never taking you seriously and it caused a fire within you. You kissed him back, angry with passion.
You shoved him, making him lay down at the edge of the bed. Crawling on top of him, you kissed him again. You wanted control of him and this situation so badly… you wanted him to take you serious.
Zoro couldn’t handle his excitement as you felt him struggling to take off his pants until you felt something long and hard spring out and slap against your ass. Breaking the kiss, you positioned yourself over his pre-cum soaked penis.
“Slow and steady,” He placed a hand on your hip to support you, “I don’t wanna tear you up just yet…”
His words made your pussy throb. Looking down at his penis, you lowered yourself down, pushing him further and further inside… 
Once he was fully inside, you clenched your stomach, letting out a tiny grunt. He let out a smirk knowing he would be a lot for you to handle.
Rolling your eyes, you balanced yourself upright before you started working upwards and downwards on his cock. Zoro’s eyes closed shut and he let out a moan before stifling it by biting his hand.
This gave you a nudge of confidence as you began to quicken up your pace. Following your lead, he placed his hands on your waist, lifting you up as he began to thrust up inside you.
He threw his head back and you heard a stringy mess of the word “FuUuUcK!”
Before you knew it, he flipped you over so you were below him. “Sorry, Y/N, but I’m about to destroy you. I won’t hold back anymore.”
Without giving you a moment to even register what he had just said, he shoved himself back inside you causing you to tremble at the feeling of him completely spreading you apart, hitting all the right places.
He fucked you so hard, letting all of his past frustrations and desires toward you roll out with every thrust he made.
“Fuck! I hate you and how good you make me feel.” He growled, not letting up anytime soon.
Without even thinking, you reached up and slapped him across the face. His expression flashed with anger but quickly turned into something darker and more lustful…
“Not rough enough for ya?” He grinned, repositioning your legs over his shoulders to dig even deeper inside you, wrapping one of his hands around your throat as he spit into your mouth. “You’re taking me so fucking well, Y/N, I’m a little surprised.”
Little did he know, you began to feel an orgasm coming on. The way he was so rough with you yet made you feel so good had the knot in your stomach forming, tighter than ever, as your body begged you to let yourself cum.
Zoro hovered over you completely now, digging his face in your neck, leaving bites and kisses all over you. He pulled down your dress at the neckline, letting your breasts come out. As he sucked on your left nipple, he let his hand find your throat again. You couldn’t help but throw your head back at the overwhelming sensations he was giving you, rolling your eyes in pleasure.
“Zoro!” You screamed, “I-I’m gonna-”
Unable to finish your sentence, you felt that knot in your belly pulsating with energy that you were just dying to release. Running your fingers through Zoros hair, you gripped it as you felt yourself coming undone.
You let out a bunch of stringy moans and curse words as you came all over his cock, quivering under him as you attempted to push him out of you, but he held you and your hips down in place and kept ravaging your pussy.
You began to wimper with every additional thrust he gave you after you came. Your pussy was so sensitive now, you felt like you’d cum again any minute now.
Knowing you had no choice but to beg for him for mercy. “P-please, Zoro!” You struggled to find the words as he seemed to have fucked the shit out of the brains you once had, “I-I can’t take it anymore!”
You felt his pace get sloppier by the minute, his breathing heavier than before. You were both covered in each others sweat, but you were too dick-drunk to care or else you woulda dragged the both of you to the showers.
Zoros groans got louder as he fought back his own orgasmic sensation. His throbbing cock made your walls tighten around him even more, causing even more pleasurable agony for him. Eventually, he shoved his cock deeper inside you, making sure not to leave a single inch out. It pulsated and throbbed, followed by Zoro moaning your name loudly in your ear as he released deep inside you.
-
You were both utterly exhausted. Zoro let himself lay on you, no longer supporting up his body weight. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck. You both laid in silence, only the sounds of you both trying to catch your breath could be heard.
“You look a mess.” Zoro smiled, kissing your forehead, moving a strand of hair out of your face. “A very, very sexy mess.”
“I promise you look worse.” You replied, playfully shagging up his hair. “Well, now you do. Look at that mess on your head.”
He gently flipped you back over so you were on top and he was resting on his back. He looked up at you with sleepy eyes, almost in a drunken state. “Whaddya say we both drink out of that barrel tomorrow night?”
“No way!” You slapped him on the shoulder, “You just wanna go for round two tomorrow, you horny fuck.”
His face formed into a grin as he let his hands rub your naked inner thighs as you straddled him, “More like round six, let’s keep this going ‘til sunrise and save sleeping for the morning.”
“How ambitious of you,” You chuckled, remembering he took a sedative that was clearly already kicking in, but still giving in to the urge to challenge him once more before he was out for good, “to think you’d last much longer…”
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The Heteronormativity Theory of Low Sexual Desire in Women Partnered with Men
"Since the birth of the twins, Denise felt a great sense of loss after leaving her previously rewarding job, James’ work increased in duration to compensate for the shift in income, and Denise’s identity as a mother superseded any sense of herself as a partner or lover.
She lost desire for sex and for James completely and perceived his requests for sex as intrusive; they were yet another demand placed upon her following a full day of devoting herself to her two demanding children who slept no longer than 4-h intervals through the night, even now at 22 months old.
James withdrew from childcare and household chores and activities, in part due to exhaustion following his 14-h work days and in part to “punish” Denise for withholding sex from him.
She resented him for expecting that she would be the sole caretaker for their children, and lost attraction for him as he increasingly retreated to online gaming late at night after the twins were asleep.
(…)
And yet, as they went to leave the end of their first session with the therapist, James turned to the provider and asked, point-blank, whether she thought that “the female Viagra” could help solve their woes.
This case study is one example of the issues plaguing perceptions of low sexual desire in women partnered with men.
That is, while James and Denise’s situation seems an obvious example of contextually-determined low desire, James ascribed the problem to a biological dysfunction in Denise’s body.
The idea that low desire rests in the individual reflects an essentialist view of sexuality that has been advanced by the medical field for decades and cogently critiqued. As such, James’ reaction is not particularly surprising or uncommon.
(…)
But why have essentialist, medicalized views of sexuality come to monopolize how people understand low sexual desire?
One argument is neoliberal—that locating the problem of low desire in individuals’ bodies has high financial stakes.
Naming low desire as an individualized biological dysfunction creates a demand for biological (i.e., medical) solutions; thus, pharmaceutical companies stand to gain by selling a “treatment.”
(…)
It reflects what has become a suspiciously common pattern in women’s relationships with men more broadly, where a woman’s sexual desire disappears and/or becomes “too low” and then is deemed a dysfunction within the woman.
This pattern is suspicious because the numbers of women reporting low desire are so high that they might be modal, if not ordinary; and, they are certainly too high to reflect individual pathologies within individual women’s bodies.
It is also suspicious because many women who report low sexual desire describe considerably similar interpersonal problems with their men partners.
Thus, while low desire is likely not an individual problem within Denise’ body, the issues and inequities it results from are also likely not an individual problem within James or the interpersonal dynamics of James’ and Denise’s specific relationship.
Instead, we turn to a structural level explanation: gender norms, following other foundational work.
(…)
Desire is often situated as low because of its relative status to a partner’s level of desire.
Interestingly, however, this is not a gender-neutral process and the bound is often set with the man partner as reference point.
Accordingly, when a woman experiences lower desire than a man partner, her desire is often labeled low.
In the converse situation, however, men are still the referent: in the case of a man reporting lower desire than a woman partner, the woman’s desire is labeled too high (e.g., they are labeled insatiable or “sluts” in negative ways), rather than the man’s desire being labeled too low.
This highlights the gendered subjectivity inherent to conceptualizations of low desire, where low desire is most often seen as residing not just in bodies, but in women’s bodies relative to men’s desires.
(…)
In Prediction 2.1, heteronormativity’s inequitable casting of women into a caregiver-mother role to men partners contributes to the women’s lower desire.
While heteronormativity slots women into nurturant caregiving roles in general, this caregiving is also directed at men partners specifically.
Nurturance—warm, loving, and caring treatment—is a critical aspect of long-term and/or successful relationships, but one inequitably shared between women and men in relationships with each other.
Heteronormative asymmetries in caregiving can matter not only because they are inequitable, but because they translate into dependencies that contravene contemporary norms of relational interdependence.
Interdependent relationships involve a mutual ethic of care, with partners supporting each other simultaneously or sequentially, akin to a something like a mix of equals, friends, and sexual partners.
The gender inequities inherent to heteronormative framings of complementarity violate norms of relational interdependence, transforming expectations of a partner–partner relationship into something closer to one that is caregiver-dependent or mother–child.
Women end up doing many of the same things for their men partners as mothers do for their children, e.g., reminding them of chores, organizing social events (or playdates), buying clothes, ensuring there is food for snacks and meals and that these are made available.
Additionally, women often take on tasks for their husbands or other men partners that were originally performed by the men’s mothers, perhaps an implicitly-held leftover from more historical understandings of marriage.
(…)
In Prediction 3.1, the heteronormative push for women to focus on their appearance, especially during and in reference to sexual activity, contributes to their low desire.
Heteronormativity focuses on women’s sexual appearance over their pleasure, socializing women to be sexy rather than sexual.
It positions women as sexual objects for men partners, and women’s bodies as offerings gifted to men for sex as part of a relationship contract.
This can result in sexual objectification.
The internalization of this objectification—sexual self-objectification—means that women’s desire is often contingent upon whether they think they are desirable.
(…)
Penetrative intercourse is painted as the only version of “real sex” within heteronormativity, but women have a low likelihood of experiencing orgasm (a highly pleasurable experience) with penetrative intercourse.
Heteronormativity means that, though women may want to be sexual, even with men partners, they are often taught that they can’t be in the ways that are more likely to feel pleasurable for them.
This ongoing separation between experiences of desire and sexual pleasure may dampen desire because it is not reinforced or followed up by sexual activity that actually leads to sexual pleasure.
In Prediction 4.3, seeing sex as a duty to perform with men will contribute to lower desire in women.
Some women have sex they want, and some women have sex that their men partners want and that the women are open to.
But a number of women (and almost no men) have reported in a nationally representative survey that they engaged with sex because it was part of their job, a duty or obligation of being married, which is a heteronormative hallmark.
“Duty sex” is not very sexy, and people—including men—report losing sexual interest in this situation, as occurred in our case study above.
(…)
Moreover, that low desire is seen as a medical and health issue could make for a circular association between it and chronic stress.
Women come to know their desire as “too low” and report feeling like failures as women and partners, making for an iatrogenic source of chronic stress.
Locating the “problem” of low desire in women’s bodies and minds ultimately places the responsibility for it on women, arguably a form of gaslighting when the problem exists outside women and will not be fixed with individual effort.
This can exacerbate women’s stress, by placing yet another responsibility on their shoulders but one that is impossible: to fix their desire problem by fixing themselves, when they are not the problem."
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Sky's the Limit (part 1)
Hello all, so I rewatched Top Gun Maverick last night and was inspired to finally finish this enemies-to-lovers series I've had in my drafts for literally months featuring everyone's fav sexy asshole Hangman!
Warnings: two idiots as usual, Jake being arrogant, innuendo, author fem!reader
Sky's The Limit
You take off your glasses and slump your face into your hands. You had been staring at the same blank document for the last two hours and still had not typed a single word. You hear the bar door swing open and chatter filling the bar, but you do not look away, instead keeping your face in your palms.
When your Aunt Penny had offered you the chance to stay with her in sunny San Diego over the summer to finish your long-awaited second book, you practically leapt at the chance. Back in New York, your agent, publisher and frankly every literary magazine were rabidly awaiting the next brilliant idea from bestselling debut author ‘Sky Bentley’. What you couldn’t tell them was that ‘Sky’ didn’t have a single clue what that brilliant idea was. So you had leapt at the chance to not be Sky, just for a little bit, while you tried to figure out your next steps.
You had only been in San Diego less than 12 hours before scuttling down to the Hard Deck. You had loved spending your summers here as a teenager, but hadn’t managed to come back since graduating from NYU. You had tried writing in the house this morning, but Amelia had some friends around and you couldn’t think with all their excitable chatter, so here you were. You knew the bar was pretty empty during the day, but the day was rapidly turning to evening and it was becoming less quiet. But you could tune it out. Until.
“You know darlin’, this is a bar not a library right?”
***
When Jake Seresin walked into the Hard Deck that day, he had assumed it was just another quiet evening as usual. He had strolled over to the pool table as usual, confident that he would win, as usual, when something caught his eye. Unusual.
There was a person sat in a booth, who was…working? It was hard to discern much, except they were wearing a baggy Top Gun T-shirt and what looks like short shorts, although they are sitting cross legged so it’s hard to tell. Judging by this and the messy bun, he thought it might be a girl, but he wasn’t not sure. They had a computer out, but their head was slumped in their hands, with glasses strewn to the side. He had never seen anyone try to work in the Hard Deck in the whole time he has been coming here, especially not at 5pm on a Friday.
“Who’s that?” He asked Javy, who is setting up the balls.
“Damned if I know.” Jake looked over in thought. Javy elbows Payback. “Hey, maybe we’ve found a girl in California that Hangman has managed not to sleep with.” Phoenix coughs. “Except you of course, Natasha.”
Jake smirked and started walking over. He loved a new game.
“Well, not for long.” Javy sighed. Nat considered the scene more closely. She had a good feeling about this.
“How much are you willing to bet?”
***
“Sorry?”
When you finally remove your hands, your vision is still blurry. You can tell there’s some sort of guy in front of you, in what looks like Navy uniform. Fantastic. It was hard to tell as you looked around for your glasses, but you had dealt with enough of these kinds of guys at family parties. Just another meathead who would say the same old shit as they always did.
“Pardon my manners, sweetheart but you seem to be lost. The library is -” Before he can finish, you cut him off.
“Oh yes, actually, I think I am lost. I thought I was at the Hard Deck, but from the looks of you this is where Chippendales go to die? I hope you don’t mind but I’m not interested in whatever you’re selling, thanks.”
You hear him laugh a little.
“I’m pretty sure we’re the same age.”
You look around for your glasses.
“Sure, whatever the Viagra guys keep telling you, buddy.” You can see him fold his arms out of the corner of your eye, but you ignore him, continuing to search for your glasses. Silence ensues for what seems like forever.
“I think you’re looking for these, Grandma.” He hands you your glasses, and you snatch them out of his hands.
“Thanks.” You put them on. You see him properly now. He’s tanned, blond and incredibly handsome, like he’s walked straight out of a Hollister ad. He leans back, arms still folding and biceps definitely flexing and your heart skips a little. Sure, it had been a while since you had gotten some, but then he smirks and it’s clear that he’s the sort of handsome asshole who knows how good-looking he is. You roll your eyes and straighten up, folding your laptop.
“I’ve gotta go. It was a real displeasure meeting you,” You stand up, but before you can turn around, you hear a familiar voice.
“Ladybug! It’s you!”
“Bradley?” At this point Bradley Bradshaw swans into the bar, wearing one of his usual god awful Hawaiian shirts and plants a kiss on the top of your head.
“Ladybug?” Navy Ken raises an eyebrow. Bradley turns and rolls his eyes.
“Oh, I should have known you’d be sniffing around here already.” Bradley turns back to you. “You’ve had the pleasure of meeting Bagman, I see?”
“Bagman?” You mimic Bagman’s expression, complete with raised eyebrow.
“It’s Hangman. Although most people know me as Lieutenant Jake Seresin.” Jake winks at you. “At your service.” You scoff.
“If I’m at your service, I think I’ll rather die.”
At this point Bradley lets rip with a belly laugh, placing a hand on a bare stretch of your arm. You swear you see Hangman’s jaw tense a little.
“How do you two know each other again?”
“Me and Ladybug grew up together.”
“We’re old family friends. Bradley used to babysit me and my sister when we were little.”
“And look at you all grown up now, some bigshot fancy auth-” You shoot him a glare. Bradley is one of the few people in the world you’ve trusted with your secret, and you explicitly told him not to tell anyone. You just wanted a summer to be normal, with no pressure.
“Fancy what?” Jake looks you up and down.
“Academic. She’s a pHD student.” Bradley says immediately. Damn, that was quick, you think to yourself. You look up at him. Was Bradley always this good at lying?
“Yeah. English lit. Here working on my thesis.You wouldn’t be interested.” You make sure to put extra venom in the ‘you’.
Bagman’s furrowed brow offers a little fake smile, but before he can retort, Bradley leads you over to the other aviators. While you are a little tense going into the group of navy guys, most of them are immediately friendly. You struggle to remember everyone’s real names and call signs, but they don’t seem to mind. In particular, the girl, who is called Natasha, links arms and drags you off to a corner.
“Thank god you’re here. It will be nice to have another woman in the midst.”
“Honestly, it would be nice to just have someone who isn’t a pilot”. Her lanky WSO pipes up. “I heard you were doing a English lit degree.”
“Oh, er, yeah. It’s Bob right?” I mean it was sort of true. Except you had completed said degree about five years ago, but it certainly helped as Bob started enthusiastically talking about books. He was cute, and you were trying to reply, but you found it hard to focus when you could feel a certain pair of green eyes boring into you from the other side of the pool table. You deliberately refused to look in Hangman’s direction the rest of the night, until you couldn’t stand it any longer.
You stride over and gently put your hand on the guy who you think is called Fanboy.
“Do you mind if I take this?” You pick up the cue. He nods and you turn back to Hangman. “Right, are you going to play me or what?”
He tilts his head in disbelief. “Darlin’ are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Well, darlin’ If it means you stop staring at me like a wounded puppy all night, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
The rest of the squad have all dropped their conversations to turn and stare at the two of you.
“Suit yourself.” He sets up the balls to break, before leaning over to whisper in your ear. “Just remember if it gets too much, you can always beg me to stop, Ladybug.”
You try not to react. After all, it’s better he thinks like this. Having watched him play the last few games, he was clearly a very good player, but you knew you have to play the player, not the game. As you break, the game begins fairly normally. He manages to pot a few in quick succession, looking visibly relaxed with a gloating smile over his beer. You deliberately shuffle, and readjust until you can tell he’s stopped looking at you. This is the time you make your move, potting several balls to take a significant lead. Jake turns back suddenly, his jaw slackening a moment before regaining composure. You can hear Bradley stifle a snigger. Being dragged around from base to base with few kids your age to play with meant that Bradley had grown up watching you whoop the ass of everyone you played at pool since the age of eight.
“Something funny, Rooster?” Jake’s head swivels around.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”
Jake starts playing more ferociously, almost clawing it back until you’re both got two balls left. You walk past.
“If it gets too much, you can always beg me to stop.” You look him up and down, before you whisper in his ear. “I like a man on his knees.” Jake’s cheek flushes and with that you pot the final two, claiming victory. You yawn. “I think I need to head home, but it was lovely to meet you all. Well almost all of you.” You blow a kiss to Jake, before waving goodbye and swiftly leaving after giving Bradley a hug. The rest of the group stand in stunned silence.
Jake raises one hand. “Don’t say anything.”
****
Jake lies on his bed. He couldn’t sleep. This was unusual. Well, not the not sleeping part. He always struggled to get asleep. At least, when he was sleeping alone. That’s why he made an effort not to. But tonight was different.
For one, it was rare for him to be alone in bed on a Friday night. But he had been so distracted, he hadn’t even managed to follow up with the pretty blonde who had asked for his number at the bar.
He couldn’t stop thinking about your stupid face.You and your stupid face and stupid glasses and stupid lips and the stupid way you said on your knees-
He got up and paced around the room.
This would simply not do.
Not only were you completely infuriating, but you beat the great Jake Seresin at pool. Bradley said you were here for the whole summer. So Jake had some time to get his own back. But how? He had noticed something odd about the way you looked at Bradley when he mentioned your pHD. Something was up, Jake could just tell, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. But not before he had a cold shower first.
part two
#jake seresin x y/n#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#top gun hangman#hangman x reader#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin#hangman top gun#jake hangman seresin x reader
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