#selfie nom

[coffin-spider]

I flipped the script, goth chicks don't have to be goth all the time ☥♥︎

[athenepromachos]

A just discovered Walter selfie 🥵🥵🥵🥵😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Bear necessities ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[kpop-bbg]

[marcelinesghost13]

🐾 Strawberry Vanilla ice coffee mmm it's so creamy I love drinking it in the morning 🐾

[monayen]

Ranfren texting headcanons !!

a/n - wellll not actually the author since this post was submitted by a lovely person who wanted to share their own headcannons without it glitching out in my inbox </3 i tried to only change the formatting a bit since i think these are sooo well written and i really appreciate the effort put into this !! everyone give them a round of applause ^_^

Luther

- Doesn’t usually text. He loves using his rotary phone for making calls. It’s on a side table next to his armchair and he can sit there and chit chat over nothing for hours

- He has an emergency cellphone for when he’s away from home. It’s the most basic fliphone in existence

- Sometimes doesn’t notice he’s gotten a text/his phone is muted or dead so he unknowingly ignores messages

- His texts are stilted with accidental punctuations

- Autocorrect is his enemy. It will mix up what he was trying to write and at the same time not catch all mistakes

- Always signs off with his name

- Example:

Good morning My Dead.Remember to water the Plants I will Be home soon .?

Luther von Ivoty

* Nyen & Nyon have matching flip phones that are different colors

Nyen

- Will leave you on read. His phone is for Luther to contact him only

- He doesn’t use it aside from that. There’s nobody he wants to be in contact with

- It’s a hassle to use with his long nails, plus he has large hands that lack dexterity

- If he needs something from you he’ll just shout for you to come to him

- He has a hard time adjusting to new technology. If you showed him how to take pics and send them back and forth he’d become more interested in using his phone

- If you don’t want frequent blurry pics of him flexing shirtless and him expecting pics in return don’t teach him that though

Nyon

- has some difficulty with reading & writing English so his texts are short and to the point

- He won’t text first but he will always reply to you

- Mostly with single words or a thumbs up emoji

- Will sometimes send memes

- Texts you first when he’s high. Quite a few messages and longer too

- Expect some texts in Russian

- You never know what they mean and when you ask him the next day he will just stare at you silently as always

Sebastian

- has no phone privileges

- If Luther thinks he’s well behaved enough he might give him a toy phone or maybe one of those with lipgloss inside

- Don’t let Randal near the lipgloss. He will make a mess and torment Sebastian with his "makeup skills"

- Before becoming a pet he had a cheap smartphone with a slightly cracked screen

- Ran out of battery when he was lost and if nobody’s taken it it’s probably still at the pound

- Used to be an awkward texter

- Didn’t have a ton of people who’d talk to him so he’d get very excited if somebody sent him a message. His nervous fumbling is a result of that too

- Example: if you’d text him asking to go get ice cream he’d reply like

Okay sounds good haha ;)

Oh my god

That was an accident!!

I didn’t mean to send that wink I’m sorry!!!

I pressed the wrong button I just wanted to send a normal smiley

Like this :€

:)

Sorry…

- And he’ll agonize over it forever

- Fun to tease if you’re up for it and over time he might even quip back. He’s a bit bolder over text than in person

- You could even get him to send a bathroom mirror selfie if you encourage him enough

Randal

- broke the emergency cellphone Luther gave him

- Now he has a phone he pilfered from the human school. It had a tiny voodoo doll as a phone charm and he didn’t think twice about taking it

- Super annoying, will double and triple text and if you don’t reply will send you messages where he’s just talking to himself

- Texts all hours of the night and it’s just weird unfiltered thoughts

- His phone looks horrible, he’s so careless with it. You can barely see the screen with how many cracks there are

- Annoying and frequent use of kaomojis

- Will attempt to start roleplays that always escalate

- Example:

HEEEYYYY ψ(｀∇´)ψ

*glomps u*

*noms ur arm*

*bites a chunk of flesh out of u and chews* mmh sho tasty (*´Д｀*) *drools on u*

Satoru

- has a ridiculous amount of charms on his phone. One is part of a friendship set and he gave Randal the matching one

- Texts in a weird mix of Japanese and English characters that makes sense in the dream (something likeトoトally)

- tasteful and sparing use of kaomojis (^_−)v

- Doesn’t send many texts because he prefers hanging out when everybody’s lucid and his phone can’t reach the real world

The Ratmen

- The only way they’d get their hands on a phone is if they stole it or you gave them one

- To avoid one of them hoarding the phone and a fight breaking out giving them a tablet would be a better solution. Plus it’s big enough to they can all look at the screen

- It’s probably best if you leave it plugged in your living room so nobody can take it for himself and it doesn’t run out of battery unexpectedly

- Stick to making voice messages and show them how to play them only. Lie about the tablet not having a microphone if you need to

- If you don’t want to be annoyed every hour of the day don’t tell them how to call you or send voice messages themselves

- Since they can barely read they mostly communicate with emojis

- Robert & 3 don’t text much

- Robert doesn’t have a lot to say over text and is self sufficient anyways. He can wait till you come home if he has something to tell you

- 3 is insecure about not being able to read/write well and would rather leave you on read than embarrass himself by sending messages you don’t understand

- Michael gets emojis mixed up. He will send a 😂 and it means he’s sad. You will only know what’s up when you’re home

- He’s not smart enough to communicate with symbols alone. Sometimes he just sends emojis he liked the looks of, no meaning. Expect to be confused when he’s the one sending a message

- He gets distracted easily looking at the food emojis too

- 4&5 are good at using emojis to form more complex messages. 5 is probably the best

-Example:

🫵🏠🍳🥓➡️🐭🍽️❓

🌙📺👩‍🍳❓

🐭🤓🍽️🧼➡️🤮

🫵🏠🧽🪣

- Don’t ask if they want something for the store or they wil send every food emoji

- They all crowd around the tablet to listen when you send a voice message

- Referring to themselves with emojis is kinda tricky. The others will use 🤓 when talking about 3 and he hates but they all think it fits him too well. Same with 🤥 for 5. He never uses it for himself and since he writes most of the messages you’ll hardly ever see it

- Don’t download games to the tablet if you value peace in your home. If they can fight over an account or their turn they will

- If bored enough the ratmen will still play around with the pre installed apps like the calculator or the compass. The camera roll is a mess too

- If you put something on for them like a movie they will be enraptured. Depending on what they’re watching they might become scared an believe it’s real. Remember the SpongeBob episode where he thinks mr krabs is a robot? Kinda like that

- And if you put on a cooking show they will pester you to cook what they’re making in the program. Also there will be marks on the screen from somebody trying to lick it

Hope you enjoy these :)

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A10

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: Interstellar Marriage

Characters: Muneuji, Ushio, Nagi, Netaro, Akuta

Summary: The party is in full swing after the toast. Netaro finally arrives and hands out some colorful buns, however… 

Thank you jes @arcanecrayonn and Sou @/716chr for helping me tackle Chihiro's lines! Thank you Jelly @/jellyfish_apple and Aurora @/azurecrystalz for checking over my Akuta and Kuguri lines too!

Behemoth of a chapter, hope you guys enjoy!

Location: HAMA House - Dining room

Momiji: (I’m worried about Kafka, he’s been sharing a drink with the ward mayors one after the other… There's a lot of alcohol in his system now. I remember he could barely hold his liquor when we celebrated his 20th birthday…)

Kafka: *yawn* There you are Chief~ Carry me~

Momiji: Huh!? I take my eyes off of you for a second and you’ve already gotten yourself this drunk? 

Yukikaze: He must have been very excited to see the company finally coming together. Shall I carry him instead?

Momiji: Ah… Thank you, but I should probably get Sakujiro-san to handle him. 

Momiji: (What happened in Kobe couldn’t be helped, but he’d probably sulk if he found out Yuki-nii carried him again.)

Yukikaze: Oh, but I just saw him leaving with Liguang, Kinari and Yodaka to play mahjong.

Momiji: Really, mahjong now?

Kafka: I don’t wanna~ I’m not sleeping till Netaro gets here! We’re gonna take over the world together~

Momiji: (After interviewing Netaro on Daniel’s recommendation, the two of them really hit it off.)

Momiji: (It’s nice to find a colleague you can get along with on a personal level huh, Kafka?)

Chihiro: Aww, Chii was thinkin’ of snappin’ some cute selfies with Chiefy, but looks like she’s totally busy with Prez right now~ Oh well, maybe later then.

Tao: Yeah. …? Wait, do you hear that?

Chihiro: Huh?

??: ….meat buns~ get high on our meat buns~ made fresh everyday~

Netaro: So delicious they’d drive you mad! Would you like to dig into one?

Laika: Bun! 

Chihiro: OH-EM-GEE!! These buns are, like, super duper dazzably adorbs☆ And your robopet is SO slaying that gyaru fit! Chii’s totally obsessed~♪

Tao: Oh, are you Yowa-san, from the meat bun cafe? They did say you’d be coming in late.

Netaro: Indeed, you are correct! I am Netaro Yowa, soon-to-be 18th ward mayor! I was a teensy bit delayed as I was specially preparing these new flavored meat buns, exclusively for this party! 

Chihiro: Chii’s name’s Chihiro! And this is Taotao! These mystery buns look mega delish and poppin‘~♪

Netaro: These ones over here are the “Peculiar Interstellar Marriage☆Natto-Curry Meat Buns,” and on this side are the “Bon Voyage of Laughter☆Cheesy-Shroom Meat Buns!”

Laika: Nattou~♪ Nanana~ Pipipi~

Chihiro:No way! Burstin’ into song like that, seriously, that’s just shooo freakin’ KYUTE ☆ Taro-ppu, can Chii like, snap some selfies with you two? Lemme post them on dazzle too, pretty pleaaase~

Netaro: Why of course, Chii~!

Tao: Crazy how they’re already on a nickname-basis… 

Chihiro: Hey cutie, d’you have fingers~? C’mon, make a heart-sign with Chii~

Tao: Don’t mind me enjoying one of these buns while you have your photoshoot. Let’s see… I think I’ll go with the cheesy mushroom bun.

Chihiro: Then Chii’s gonna go with this totes rad lookin’ natto curry bun~ Nom-nom time~♪

Tao and Chihiro: *munch*

Netaro and Laika: ….. 

Tao: Mmm…mph? Pft— Haha, hahahahahaha!! W-what’s going on, I can't stop laughing!

Chihiro: Huh!? Taotao…!?

Tao: Hahahahaahahha—! 

Chihiro: Waitwaitwait! Chii’s, like, got zero idea what’s goin’ on rn, but isn’t a Taotao mega ultra LOL moment like this is equivalent to rollin’ a SSR!? Gotta record this ASAP!!

Tao: Oh man– My stomach hurts…! 

Laika: Nattou, Giovanni, piroppu~

Chihiro: Gosh, he’s sooo cute, rollin’ on the floor like that ☆ Ugh, my maternal instincts are just overflowing right now! What is this feeling!? I’ve never felt this way before! I literally can’t stop snappin’ pics~♪

Toi: I-It’s Chii-sama…! I’m walking on the same ground as Chii-sama… Breathing in the same air…! 

Toi: Ahh… I need to express my gratitude for this miracle with a prayer! Thank you for letting me be born in the same generation as my favorite idol! 

Mashiro: Chii-sama is, without a doubt, one of the highest lifeforms to grace this planet! 

Sonia: Oh wow~ So Chii-shama is one of the ‘chosen ones’? I shee, I shee! 

Chouun: …I believe that all life is equal, but I shall refrain from commenting further. 

Momiji: Oh, Netaro-kun is finally here. Kafka’s already asleep though. 

Kuguri: Enjoying yourself, cica*?

Ten: We came over ‘cuz we didn’t get to toast together yet. Cheers to finding all the members~

Momiji: Thank you, both of you. Cheers! 

Momiji: (It’s inevitable that new bonds would be formed as more people moved into the dorms but… I have to say, Ten-kun and Kuguri-san are an odd pair, I wonder when they got so friendly with each other?)

Ten: Oh yeah, I saw Shuumai barking his head off when that meat bun guy showed up earlier.

Kuguri: Fufu, perhaps it's some wild instinct at play… Are you sure you should be letting something like that in here?

Momiji: Like ‘that’… Are you talking about Netaro-kun? Sure, he’s a little odd but, I don’t really think he’s dangerous. 

Momiji: (According to Toi-kun’s reading, Netaro-kun is someone we need to lead us to his brother. I made a promise to help him, and I plan to see it through.) 

~~~

Akuta: Mph, everythin’ looks SO super tasty I can’t stop stuffing myself!

Akuta: I’m gonna eat a lifetime’s wortha food here and now! Nobody get in my way, got it!? 

Ushio: Ugh, how many “seconds” is that already? I can barely stomach watching you let yourself go. 

Kiroku: But… Kurama… that’s your third plate… of yakisoba… too… 

Ushio: So? That has nothing to do with what I just said.

Kiroku: There’s… no need to… feel ashamed… It’s delicious… after all…. 

Ushio: Who said I was embarrassed? 

Muneuji: Hm… I’m still famished. I should go get seconds as well. 

Nanaki: I’m coming with you, I need more of this pizza— Hm?

Tao: Phew, it’s finally stopped… I laughed so hard I really thought I’d need stitches… 

Chihiro: Wha-wha-whaaa? Why’re there like, a gazillion pics of Tao in my gallery? Weeeird, it’s like I got some kinda motherly instinct takin’ over me….

Netaro: Ahaha! I may have added just a teensy bit of a secret ingredient~ Right? Laika~

Laika: Shwatch*.

Nanaki: Huh, that’s…!? 

~~~(flashback)

Netaro: “Euclidean Deconstruction - Instant Undressing Pen.” A lovely invention, if I do say so myself~

Netaro: You see, human clothing can be so… ugh. They’re too restrictive! 

Kiroku: …Where did… he…come from…?

Nanaki: No, before that, who the heck is he? How’d he get all the way here? The door’s behind us… 

Akuta: Hold up, where’s the egg?

~~~(end flashback)

Nanaki: Ah…! 

Muneuji: What’s wrong? You’re shaking like a leaf.

Nanaki: I-It’s that guy from before…!

Muneuji: ?

Muneuji: —...!

Akuta: Aw yeah, I can feel the calories already!

Muneuji: Everyone, I need your attention.

Kiroku: ?

Muneuji: The strange individual we encountered on top of the school roof after our HosLive, is here right now. The intelligence operative who took the egg with him.

Ushio: Wha!? No way… 

Nanaki: No matter which way you look at him, it’s the same guy. Can’t forget someone who looks like… that. 

Akuta: …F’real? Don’t remember the dude. 

Ushio: Yeah, didn’t expect much from someone with your brain cells, Idiotake. But… Why's he here? It doesn’t make sense. 

Ushio: Is he the 18th ward mayor? The one they said would come in late. 

Muneuji: Most likely. He must be Netaro Yowa-san. 

Nanaki: What was it again… He was from a secret operation called… Ponzu or something—

Akuta: Yorozu!

Ushio: So you remember that. 

Kiroku: The… egg is… with him…!

Ushio: What?

Kiroku: Over… there… 

Laika: Pipipi. Jijiji. Bween.

Nanaki: That’s… not the egg, right? Looks like a regular pet robot to me. 

Ushio: I agree with Panda. 

Kiroku: No… That’s… definitely… 

Muneuji: You were indeed the one who had the strongest bond with the egg. I believe in Kinugawa’s intuition.

Nanaki: Putting the egg aside, you think it’s okay for us to be near that guy?

Ushio: Who knows… He seems dangerous. We should probably keep our distance from him, unless you want to get caught up in explosions or have your clothes stripped off or something… 

Akuta: Hey so, did we meet on the school roof back in summer?

Netaro: Hm?

Ushio: What is he— Why the hell would he just march up to the guy and ask him that!?

Akuta: Well y’see, my friends over there think we’ve met before so—

Akuta: Right, guys!?

Ushio: Pretend you don’t know him… 

Nanaki: …Wait, Muneuji!?

Muneuji: Pardon me. I am the 8th ward mayor, Muneuji Kaguya. Would you perchance remember me?

Netaro: Uji, your eyes are most beautiful indeed. I can’t help but feel I’ve seen them somewhere long ago— 

Muneuji: ….. 

Netaro: But, I cannot pinpoint the memory. How about we hold our greetings now instead?

Muneuji: ….. 

Akuta: In that case, heyo, nice to meetcha! Je m’appelle Akuta, superhero at your service! 

Ushio: Muu-chan, let’s go! You, too! 

Muneuji: …I understand now. It’s because he is a member of the Yorozu.

Muneuji: Precisely because they are intelligence operatives, they blend in with society by pretending to be civilians. He must not be able to reveal his identity as he did on the roof.

Ushio: Muu-chan, what are you mumbling about?

Nanaki: So, he’s saying that he doesn’t remember us, right?

Muneuji: Indeed. If that is how he wishes to spin this tale, then we must act accordingly. We should not hinder his mission. 

Kiroku: ….. 

Ushio: Right, let’s leave it at that.

Nanaki: Hmm… Well, okay, I guess. 

Akuta: ‘Kay~ Then I don’t care either~ Let’s get back to digging into some good grub! 

Muneuji: …..

~~~

Nagi: *deep sigh*

Sonia: Are you ok, Nagi-shan? 

Nagi: Yeah… 

Sonia: I guess you’re shtill worried… 

Nagi: Yeah. At this rate… something bad is bound to happen. 

Nagi: It might be better to just go back to the shop and hand out flowers… 

Sonia: But… It’s really cold outside at this time of night… 

Nagi: It’s better that way. 

Sonia: ….. 

Nagi: Yeah. This is for the best… Let’s go back. 

Sonia: Nagi-sha–

Momiji: Oh, Nagi-kun, what are you doing all the way here?

Nagi: …urk. Um, I… 

Sonia: Y-You shee, we got a last-minute order just now…!

Nagi: That’s right. It was very sudden.

Sonia: Y-Yesh, even though we closed the store temporarily just to come to the party, geez!

Momiji: I see… got it. We’re bringing out the cake, so come back soon! 

Nagi: O-Okay, thank you. Then… 

Momiji: Take care! 

Nagi: Urk…!

If player character is female: Momiji: Huh, w-why are you suddenly clutching at your chest!?

If player character is male: Kaede: Why’re you suddenly clutching at your chest!?

Nagi: It’s nothing, um… I’ll be off, then…! 

Sonia: Are you okay!? Nagi-shan! 

Nagi: I’m okay… for now.

Nagi: But, my happiness is overflowing… This is real bad. I need to balance it… 

Nagi: ��Let’s go, Sonia. Handing out flowers in the freezing cold should help water down this feeling. 

Sonia: Okay! 

Notes:

A very minor difference between Kaede and Momiji's response to Nagi, being that Momiji is more prone to stuttering when surprised, but I thought it would be good to point out for anyone interested.

Swatch is an exclamation that Ultraman uses.

Cica is how Kuguri refers to the Chief. It means kitten.

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Masterlist

[blackpinkofficialupdates]

[240422] Jisoo bubble update

The weather is nice today 🌳💚 The trees are really green now. Somehow I'm slowly getting sleepy haha. Waking up with charisma hehehehehe 🪽 I'm completely awake now. Nom nom I'm hungry so I'm going to eat. Blinks, you must have eaten, right?! Now that I think about it, it's almost dinner time! Eat well everyone! Since the weather is nice, everyone take selfies with the trees haha 🌳🤣

[ellenchain]

Otter in Japan 🌸

Lucas the Otter started a little journal!

He travelled by boat to Miyajima and hiked (with a little help) up Mount Misen. There was a shrine, a beautiful bridge, lots of forest and stairs. At the end, there was fried oysters to celebrate his achievement 🦪 (otter nom)

The next day we went to Hiroshima. That was very sad, so there are no otter selfies. But the okonomyaki at the end of the day was very delicious!

[goodboyaudios]

my honest reaction to that selfie you uploaded on twitter:

BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF NOM NOM MUNCH MUCH 

(yes, also partly because you’re 6’6, ngl. i maybe a simp, but i am a proud and honest one. i may not be fully gay, but i’m bi so i’m half gay, include me in the ‘gay geeb simps’ gc pls)

(btw, i hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable, if it does, i’ll 100% keep the simping to myself next time hahah~)

Nah, you good! I appreciate all the simps! You're the reason I get to keep doing what I love!

[swedesinstockholm]

23 février

j'ai entendu une humoriste sur france inter qui disait qu'elle se sentait tellement seule qu'elle allait se faire faire des manucures pour que quelqu'un la touche et les gens dans le studio ont poussé des exclamations de dégoût choqué, les gens ne sont clairement pas prêts pour mon livre. et puis ce matin, toujours sur france inter, j'ai entendu un écrivain que je connaissais pas qui parlait de son travail d'homme à tout faire et de sa situation d'ultra précarité et que parfois c'est dur mais bon c'est lui qui l'a choisi (avant il était photographe et il portait des costumes dior). il est publié chez gallimard mais il est quand même homme de ménage et archi pauvre, il peut pas chauffer plus d'une pièce de son appartement que j'imaginais tout pourri à la bordure d'un paris imaginaire avec de la tôle rouillée et des murs qui suintent. il faut que j'arrête de voir la publication comme une finalité. je veux de l'argent, tant pis pour la liberté, ça veut rien dire la liberté. il me faut un plan de carrière.

25 février

encore en train d'écouter le nouvel album d'mgmt, je crois que je commence à l'adorer. j'étais un peu partagée au début. j'ai regardé des interviews et ça m'a replongée en 2008 dans mes jours de groupie en chef d'andrew vanwyngarden. ils sont inextricablement liés à mon adolescence de bloggueuse insupportable mais touchante (quelqu'un m'avait dit ça un jour dans les commentaires et je trouve que c'est une bonne description). dans une interview on leur demande pourquoi ils sont pas sur les réseaux sociaux et andrew dit qu'à leur époque c'était pas cool de s'auto-promouvoir et que faire un selfie c'était le truc le plus embarrassant du monde et ça m'a fait réaliser que beaucoup de temps avait passé depuis... je sais pas, que je suis née? aussi j'ai toujours honte de faire un selfie en public.

andrew a 41 ans. il est verseau, comme r. et comme a. j'ai réécouté leurs deux premiers albums hier, après m'être promenée sur le campus du lycée pour me rouler dans la nostalgie. la nostalgie de quoi, je sais pas trop parce que j'étais aussi déprimée à 17 ans qu'aujourd'hui, le seul truc bien c'était la musique les concerts et ma double vie de bloggueuse populaire où les gens me disaient que je leur manquais quand je partais en vacances. la première fois que j'ai écouté mgmt c'était un dimanche matin sur youtube, c'était le printemps et j'avais 17 ans et j'étais assise au pc dans la pièce de l'ordi et il faisait probablement soleil. le soleil et le printemps sont des composantes importantes de ma relation à mgmt. leur musique me rend nostalgique de plein de choses que j'ai connues et pas connues. comme wildflower des avalanches. 

les choses pas connues: les époques avant les années 90; les états-unis. les choses connues: un truc doux et joyeux de l'enfance, une piscine chaude où il fait bon vivre; les sapins, la forêt de manière générale; le soleil (PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE SUN); le jardin de la maison quand j'étais petite, les fleurs de ma grand-mère, les habits que j'aimais quand j'étais petite (le tshirt avec les papillons, du rose barbie et du vert fluo, du jaune bordé de rouge, des pois, des fleurs); du bois (meubles).

6 mars

je me force à écrire. je suis en crise. j'ai envie d'exploser et d'imploser en même temps. j'ai envie de manger du sucre mais j'en ai pas envie, j'ai juste besoin de combler un vide, HA, à chaque fois je crois avoir trouvé un truc profond mais après je me rappelle que ça existe déjà et que c'est archi commun. j'essaie d'écrire un texte sur les mythes pour un appel à textes mais je me sens submergée par l'ampleur du thème et par les choses que j'ai à dire mais en même temps j'ai rien à dire. j'ai trop pris goût à avoir mes textes publiés dans des revues, c'est en train de devenir addictif, comme mon addiction aux annonces de location immobilières bruxelloises sur fb. je suis accro aux photos d'apparts dans lesquels me projeter et je suis accro à voir mon nom imprimé sur du papier.

mon texte sur a. tiré de bluettes que j'ai été assez naïve d'envoyer à deux revues différentes a été sélectionné par les deux revues et j'ai du choisir entre les deux et ça m'a stressée toute la journée lundi. j'en avais mal au ventre, comme à chaque fois que je dois faire un choix, ça a pris des proportions de vie ou de mort, j'avais peur de faire le mauvais choix et de le regretter toute ma vie. j'arrive pas à accepter l'idée selon laquelle y a pas de mauvais choix. dans ma vision des choses, y en a toujours un qui est forcément mieux que l'autre. j'arrive pas à voir les choses à égalité, tout est en compétition. alors j'ai demandé conseil à j. de paris, vu qu'elle a fait des meilleurs choix de vie que moi, je me suis dit que son intuition fonctionnait mieux que la mienne, et je l'ai suivie.

j'ai écrit aux deux revues en rentrant de la chorale et j'avais l'impression d'être dans the voice quand les candidats doivent choisir un coach et qu'ils s'excusent auprès des autres de pas les avoir choisis, sauf que ça aurait été mille fois plus facile de choisir un coach de the voice (mika). j'arrivais pas à croire que j'étais en train d'écrire un mail à une revue pour leur dire qu'elles pouvaient pas publier mon texte, j'avais l'impression de me tirer une balle dans le pied. en plus elles m'ont dit que ça leur faisait rien à elles que mon texte soit publié ailleurs. j'arrive pas à m'en remettre. l'autre revue m'a dit que c'était un beau luxe de pouvoir choisir mais entre la peur de faire le mauvais choix et la déception de pas être publiée dans mouche j'arrivais à peine à savourer le goût du succès.

[leparfumdesreves]

Parfois, j'aimerais faire partie du troupeau...

De ceux qui vont où on leur dit d'aller, d'aimer ce qui doit être aimé, de se rallier à celui qui a la voix plus forte que ses idées, de partir aux mêmes endroits fashion que tous les autres, de s'afficher avec des influenceurs, parce-que c'est tendance, de se prendre en selfie à tout moment parce-que tout le monde le fait, de raconter sa vie du lever au coucher sur Facebook parce-que sinon on passe pour un con, de comptabiliser des amis et comparer leur nombre avec d'autres, alors que les trois-quart n'en ont rien à foutre de vous, de courir tous les week-ends aux mêmes heures et aux mêmes endroits que tout le monde parce-que sinon que vont penser les collègues au bureau le lundi matin, de claquer un pognon monstre au resto à la mode parce-qu'il faut au moins avoir vu la dernière déco du dernier si talentueux designer alors qu'en rentrant chez vous vous avez avalé tous les paquets de gâteaux tellement il n'y avait rien à manger dans l'assiette, de faire cinq heures de queue pour voir une expo à laquelle vous n'y comprendrez rien mais c'est tellement chic de laisser traîner le catalogue sur votre dernier canapé que vous avez du mal à finir de rembourser mais il le valait bien parce-que ma chériiiiie on est teeeeellement bien dedans tu verras, de paraître sur-bookée, pressée, stressée, affolée, dépassée, parce-que tout le monde l'est, donc vous aussi, d'assister dans une salle d'Art et d'Essai à la projection du dernier film d'un Réalisateur dont vous êtes incapable de prononcer le nom d'ailleurs vous avez décidé de vous mettre au finlandais parce-que la meilleure amie de la belle soeur de votre ex s'y est mise et qu'avec le réchauffement climatique vous serez prête au cas où......

Oui, comme j'aimerais parfois faire partie du troupeau.

Parce-que ce troupeau ne pense pas, ne réfléchit pas, il avance. Tête baissée, les oreilles fermées, les yeux voilés, insensible à la beauté d'un vol d'hirondelles, au bruissement du vent dans les champs de blé, sourd à la musique du temps.

Parce-que ce troupeau ne ressent pas la souffrance du Rêveur, de l'Idéaliste, du Poète, de celui qui est attiré par la beauté du Diable et la noirceur de l'Ange, de l'Artiste qui enfante dans la souffrance.

Est-ce ça la vraie Vie, celle où pataugeant dans les vases nauséabondes de ce Monde d'en bas, on est à l'abri de toutes émotions sincères, de toutes douleurs existentielles, de tous les silences qui font du bruit à s'en déchirer le coeur.

Oui, j'aimerais parfois faire partie du troupeau...

L.PDR

[anonbinaryweirdo]

I was gonna say "nah I just wanted to talk about vi"

but tumblr made me just say "nah"

vi is the best. please go on you had more to say right

i can't believe Tumblr cut you off to prevent you from getting me to go years discussing her absolute amazingness with you.

shes literally so sweet today I sent her like three selfies of me with a lampshade and she not only called me very handsome she called me her spouse (I still get butterflies) and nom nomed me and put me in her pocket like yes queen I am yours to keep🙌🏽

and she literally makes me stim in a //pos way I do this thing wherein Everytime I'm happy I do a little stomps with my feetsies and literally run around a bit while covering my face (when I'm in bed I cover my face with my little pillow and kick my feet rapidly). she makes me do this a lot and she doesn't even know it

i see her in my notifs and scream. im not exaggerating I //srs go aaaAAAAAAA everytime I get some form of notification from her do you SEE what kind of impact she has on me

strangling her putting her in my pocket stomping on her biting her chewing her diligently throwing her into bricks

Everytime she says "I want to stay by your side forever" to me I literally die on the spot hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

like. I can feel her warmth through my screen. like she makes me go aljsjhseheheheheEHSDHDJDHDD

I'm gonna put her in a little raincloud and get her all soggy

she is the black cat to my ginger cat. the golden retriever to my black lab

I don't put sugar in my tea or coffee I just think of how sweet vi is and I'm good to go

shes older, but I am the big spoon always (do not let her tell you otherwise). unless tummy ache.

she makes me smile and you can't see the blush on my face mostly because of my skin tone for some reason (I am lightskin so I'm not sure why it doesn't work probably a glitch) but I feel myself blush and turn into a big puddle of hot goo in her presence not even joking

this one time

okay so whenever I'm upset I //neg stim; I rock back and forth in my seat, and one day I was on a bus and I was rocking particularly hard and. I don't know how she knew but she just appeared in my notifs. she has a sixth sense I can feel it

I could. go on and on and on. but im still trying to wake up. I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT HER I SWEAR IT

this post doesn't get a "read more". you WILL read it bitch

[ulrichjosserandphotographe]

Réussir ses photos avec un cellulaire, truc et astuces.

La photo s’est démocratisée avec l’arrivée des appareils photo numériques, mais surtout avec celle des téléphones cellulaires. Aujourd’hui, on peut être passionné.e par la photographie et faire de très beaux clichés, même si on ne peut pas investir dans de l’équipement. Comment réussir ses photos avec un cellulaire, voici quelques trucs et astuces!

Les limitations.

“La technologie lève toutefois les limitations les unes après les autres.”

Pour commencer, il faut connaitre les limitations avec les cellulaires. Il sera difficile de faire de belles photos d’animaux sauvages, par exemple, avec ces appareils. Voici quelques limitations que vous aurez :

La focale.

Pour rappel, la focale est la « taille de l’objectif ». C’est-à-dire la partie de ce que vous voyez qui va « rentrer » dans la photo. Les focales des cellulaires sont souvent axées sur le grand angle pour l’objectif principal et le portrait pour l’objectif « selfie » du côté de votre écran. Ces objectifs sont donc prévus pour faire des photos de paysages ou de personnes. Il sera donc difficile de prendre en photo un objet lointain ou un animal sauvage, en particulier les petits animaux.

Le zoom.

À ma connaissance, tous les cellulaires ont la possibilité de zoomer pour les photos. Grâce à cette option, beaucoup se diront qu’ils vont pouvoir prendre un objet lointain ou petit en photo. Oui, mais… Le zoom à une grosse limitation technique, à savoir de diminuer énormément la qualité de la photo et le nombre de mégapixels au fur et à mesure qu’on zoom réduisant ainsi la qualité de la photo.

L’ouverture.

L’ouverture est le fameux f/x que l’on peut lire sur les objectifs. Pour résumer, plus le chiffre est petit, plus l’objectif laisse rentrer de la lumière et plus la profondeur de champs est petite (à focale égale). L’ouverture nous donnera donc plusieurs limitations. Pour commencer, elle jouera sur la qualité de l’image en basse lumière. Ensuite, la profondeur de champ limitera certains effets artistiques comme les bokeh, bien que de gros efforts des constructeurs soient faits ces dernières années.

Trucs et astuces

Maintenant qu’on a vu les limitations, voici quelques trucs et astuces pour réussir de belles photos :

Les effets

Il y aura deux effets à l’augmentation de la sensibilité ISO, à savoir l’augmentation du bruit numérique et la diminution de la dynamique. Le bruit numérique, aussi appelé « grain » est toutes ces petites taches qui apparaissent sur la photo, dégradant sa qualité. Ces point parasites font diminuer la netteté des détails de la photo. Plus on l’augmente, plus le bruit augmente. Mais certains boitiers travaillent mieux à sensibilité élevée que d’autres. La dynamique, de son côté, est la différence entre les hautes et les basses lumières, c’est-à-dire les couleurs claires et les couleurs foncées.

Portrait ou paysage.

Il existe une appellation différente suivant si la photo est prise de façon verticale ou horizontale. « Verticale » (téléphone en position debout) est appelé portrait, tandis que « horizontale » (téléphone en position couchée) est paysage. Certaines personnes, de façon innée, ont tendance à toujours prendre leurs photos en format portrait. Pourtant, comme le nom l’indique, il serait préférable de prendre en photo un paysage (ou un groupe de personnes) en format horizontal et une personne en format vertical.

La grille.

Dans vos options de photo, il y a la grille. Formée de 9 rectangles, cette grille vous permet de faire de belles compositions, que vous choisissiez de centrer votre sujet ou de jouer avec la règle des tiers.

Les modes.

Certains téléphones récents, comme par exemple les derniers iPhones, possèdent des modes qui s’affichent sur l’écran lors d’une prise de vue, comme « Photo », « Portrait » ou « Panoramique ». N’hésitez pas à jouer avec ces modes. Par exemple, le mode portrait simulera un flou au niveau de l’arrière-plan.

Les applications.

Votre cellulaire est capable d’aller plus loin que les options de bases que vous avez avec la fonction photo. Certaines applications vous permettront de régler la profondeur de champ, les ISO ou encore le temps d’exposition!

Les retouches.

La retouche de photos, depuis le numérique, est un peu comme le développement à l’époque de la pellicule. Elle permet de corriger l’exposition ou d’accentuer les couleurs. À garder en tête : jouer avec les curseurs avec parcimonie!

Le HDR.

Le High Dynamic Range (HDR), était à l’origine créé grâce à 3 ou 5 photos du même sujet mais avec des expositions différentes afin d’accentuer les tons clairs et foncés. Cette option se retrouve souvent en un seul clic sur les cellulaires!

Avec les deux mains.

Afin de garder la meilleure stabilité possible, n’hésitez pas à tenir le téléphone avec les deux mains.

Ou sans les mains!

Les accessoires peuvent aider pour les photos. Le trépied vous aidera pour la stabilité.

Les accessoires.

Suivant votre type de photo, n’hésitez pas à investir dans quelques accessoires. Trépied, selfie stick, télécommande, objectifs additionnels sont des accessoires qui pourront vous aider à faire des photos hors du commun!

Est-ce que ces quelques conseils vous ont aidé? N’hésitez pas à arpenter la page « techniques de photos » pour d’autres astuces!

[groovesnjams]

HONORABLE MENTION

"A&W" by Lana Del Rey

MG:

I tend not to read interviews with musicians I’m already familiar with anymore. I’d rather make my own sort of sense of their work and persona and I’m no longer at all interested in getting swept up in the crowd noise of whether or not this person is good or right and it feels like the wisdom of the comment section is inescapable anytime someone even halfway famous verbalizes a thought. But Lana Del Rey, who openly loathes giving interviews, did a cover story with Rolling Stone earlier this year and I saw a pull quote saying, I’ll paraphrase, that when she released Born to Die she thought she’d be for the boys but her career has revealed she’s for the girls – she’s probably less right about that now that she’s being lavished with critical praise and feted with Grammy noms, but it’s clear that the way women recognized and idolized her (particularly on Tumblr) made a huge impression on her and, I think, made space for “A&W” to exist. This song is unflinching in its depictions of femininity and femininity’s proximity to masculinity. It’s intensely vulnerable and personal, intertwining the living memory of the woman born Elizabeth Grant and the singular vision of the artist born Lana Del Rey. But it’s also a version of the story almost any woman could tell you, whether they’re on the cover of Rolling Stone or posting selfies to Instagram, whether they say they live in Rosmede but really they’re at the Ramada or it’s some college dorm room and the America’s Best Inn. Anyway, when she sang about her unslakable thirst for men on songs like “Blue Jeans” and “Video Games,” the girls loved her, they loved her loose hot roller waves and her thousand yard stare and her crookedly perfect smile. And now that she sings about being raped and gets dogged with criticism for gaining weight or dressing sloppy or, in her own words, “looking like a sidepiece at 33,” men love her, too. It’s not just the experience of an American whore, but exactly what it takes to become one and how little say she really had in the matter. Lana was for the girls when she represented something glamorous and unobtainable and strong but Lana was a girl when she wasn’t able to be any of those things at all. “A&W” does not deserve to be relegated to the honorable mention, but to ignore it entirely would be an even worse injustice

[jellimac-sims-stories]

Simfluencer

Jellimac

---

Chapter 2

I love that I live in the city now. Each day brings a new influence. The people, the food, the art, and the architecture. Everything is so different from Oasis Springs. It's exactly what I was hoping for. Every day is so inspiring! Or it could be that there are a lot of things around with an inspiring emotional aura. Either way, I’ve been nonstop painting since I got here. 

What I don'tWhat I don't love is that my pieces don't seem to sell. I tried selling a few of my older pieces to make room for new ones at the flea market outside my building my first weekend here. Only one sold. I left feeling really disappointed. It took me a few days to get over it. Probably doesn't help that I’m trying to sell art outside of the art museum. 

My art style is mainly pop and abstract but only my realism paintings have sold for any significant amount. Back home I used to mostly sell paintings from references of people’s vintage cars from Moonlight Falls and Roaring Heights or landscapes of Glimmerbrook and Old Town. I thought the move out to the city would help me get a new perspective and hopefully new customers. That's all anyone ever talks about when they want to become a famous fashion designer or artist, you know. Going to the city. Becoming inspired in some new way. Gain new customers and become so famous that your pieces sell for motherloads. I`d like to say that money isn’t my motivator but a little padding in the bank wouldn’t hurt.

Jonah is basically the only person who had ever purchased my original pieces. He’s posted about it on his social pages and his fans did like it. Not as much as they liked his shirtless pictures but I did get a few followers from his posts. He’s also donated a few of my pieces to his fans. For him, it's a good way to gain more fame. His fans do seem to love the paintings but I'm sure if it's only because they got them from him. Did I forget to mention that he's a major celebrity? The only one in Oasis Springs. He’s really made a good name for himself and I appreciate all that he does to get mine out there as well.

I’m not completely internet illiterate; I already have an insta, twitter, and a website, but Jonah has been bugging me to make everything more streamlined so after several texts back and forth one afternoon we set everything up. I am now the proud manager of a social media empire named Cosmickitty; since that was already my nom de plume. 

I took my new empire for a test drive. A few photos of my new downtown area, photos of my work around my apartment, inspirational quotes, and some cute selfies shamelessly self-promoting my other pages on each platform as I went. Over the next few days, I watched as twitter followers followed my insta and insta followers followed by twitter. Notification of new followers and likes came chiming in. I guess maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. 

I had almost fifty followers by the end of the first week. The pics of the city got a few likes and the selfies too mostly from tattoo pages saying they like my ink or asking if I could model for them. A few of my posts of me painting got the attention of the other artist flea markets in the area. KryticZeuz invited me to sign up for the flea market in the Spice Market. Thinking it couldn’t be worse than the last flea market, I snagged a street gallery wall for an upcoming weekend and I tweeted that I’d be there. 

The Spice District has a totally different vibe from the Arts Quarter. Honestly, I feel that this should be the Arts Quarter; murals everywhere, everything is so colorful from the building to the food to the people. Looking around I can’t help thinking that I probably should have moved here instead but I knew I wouldn’t want to run into Josh’s ex-girlfriend who lives here. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I don’t like that woman. 

The flea market here was very different from the one near my apartment. Less art and more handcrafted or collected items. The table next to me was full of crystals. I bought a rare alexandrite from Selvadorada while I waited for buyers to come up to my stall. I was beginning to have the same experience that I’ve had in the past in terms of selling but then this one guy came up to my selling wall that I didn’t expect. He didn’t even look like the type to shop at a flea market. He was a few shakes away from tall, dark, and handsome. Yeah, he was tall but lean and perfectly dressed with chestnut brown locs that had the sort of style that is meant to look messy on purpose. Way too sophisticated for my style. 

It’s a borderline heatwave this Sunday but there he was looking fresh and cool in his suit as he perused my art pinned up for sale. He looked as if he’d just come from some important meeting about something really important for someone really important with some important people. He had that sort of air about him even with his suit jacket open and a few buttons on his dress shirt unbuttoned. I took a deep breath, told myself to not be intimidated, and queued up my best sales pitch as I approached him, “Hello sir. I'm glad you've come by my display today. Is there any piece in particular that you'd like to know more about?”

“I like your figure painting but I'm afraid I like pieces that have much more...interesting subjects,” his voice was much deeper than I would have anticipated and I caught a hint of a southern drawl...

Can't wait for more? Read the whole story on my AO3

[lalignedujour]

C'était au tout début entre nous. On était mutuellement une activité l'une pour l'autre. Juste par notre présence, notre état d'être humain aimé.

Dans ma journée de travail, je pensais à elle et je réalisais que j'avais oublié son visage. Alors, je lui écrivais ça et elle m'envoyait un selfie. On sortait beaucoup, on riait, on rentrait trop tard, mais on faisait quand même l'amour en rognant sur le sommeil. Elle hésitait encore sur les prénoms de mes frères et sœurs.

Ce soir-là, on rentre chez elle avec le dernier RER. Je connais pas encore bien sa cage d'escalier (il pouvait m'arriver de me tromper d'étage, mais là c'est elle qui est devant donc c'est bon).

On monte péniblement les marches, on est ko. On arrive devant chez elle et elle a pas les clés. On est dégoûtées, mais on rit. Heureusement, un de ses colocs est dehors, encore en soirée. Elle va prendre son vélo pour le rejoindre, plutôt que de réveiller son autre coloc. Je l'attends là, devant chez elle. Je m'assieds sur une marche. La minuterie s'éteint.

J'avais pas remarqué en arrivant, mais il y a de la lumière sous la porte de l'appartement 34. Derrière, une conversation à voix basse. Je ne peux pas m'en empêcher, j'écoute. Je range mon téléphone. C'est une de ces conversations qui durent, parce qu'elles sont difficiles. Des conversations dont on sait qu'elles vont accoucher d'une décision : on ne les finit pas comme on les a commencées. Des conversations avant-après.

Les voix, une féminine, une masculine, s'emplissent de sanglots et se confondent. J'imagine un canapé plein de mouchoirs. Une table de cuisine, ou les mains s'accrochent, se serrent, s'évitent, se repoussent calmement. Je me sens comme enfant quand mes parents parlaient dans la pièce d'à côté, alors que je dormais. J'écoutais impuissante. J'assistais en direct au délitement inéluctable. Là, j'ai compris qu'il n'y aurait bientôt plus ces deux noms accolés sur la sonnette : Louise Serra et Jed Mimouni. Sara Mimouni, je ne sais pas où elle sera.

La minuterie se rallume, la conversation se calme et Samira remonte avec sa clé, je lui dis qu'elle m'a manqué, on rit, et deux ans plus tard, on a ce genre de conversation à notre tour.

J'ai connu Jed.