#self-tormentor
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sincerely-sofie · 6 months ago
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Re: your mental health comic - I hope, if any of those characters are based on real hallucinations youve had, that you don't have them anymore. You're a good person who doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.
(Referencing this or this post, I’m not sure which)
Thank you so much for your kind words! The characters in those works are representations of actual hallucinations I’ve experienced. They were real nasty pieces of work, but I haven’t actually hallucinated one in a severe enough manner to talk to them in about… Shoot. Hang on, I need to think… 5-ish years now? I think? And the last time I did, I heard a brief sentence before I took some heavy-duty meds that knocked me out and took care of the hallucination by the time I woke up. I’ve gone through a lot of growth between now and then, and I’m now in a place where the only lasting legacy those losers have had is making me very good at abstract descriptions + personifications and self-reflection. Their cruel words are fuzzy and vague things that I barely remember.
Heck, I went through some old notes to remember some nicknames I gave them, and it was a blast from the past that I actually laughed at! They actually called me “less than worthless” to the point I internalized and verbalized it many times? Wow. That’s pretty cringe, guys. You spent your entire lives bullying a teenager. Cool. Now I love myself and forgot that was ever a mantra I recited at all times in my head.
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I once had a project I was working on where I made a fictionalized autobiography set in a fantasy world starring a self-insert and these jokers. It was going to be a kind of field guide to hallucinations I experienced. I stopped working on it after a while because it was too painful for me to develop, as it was meant to dig deep into the pain and struggles I went through on a daily basis… and now I’m looking back at it and considering making it a humorous story about how ridiculous my hallucinations were— at least the ones with consistent personalities. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, truly.
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I might end up posting some of the more solemn journal comics I made about these chuckleheads... It'd be weird to dig up my significantly older work, but I think it would do me some good and maybe be enjoyable / educational for others!
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local-queer-classicist · 1 year ago
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Syrus, a slave: Hey, master, I was just wondering, how do you feel about slaves that lie to and trick their masters?
Chremes, an asshole who owns other people and is also an idiot: Under certain circumstances I think some lying is acceptable. Maybe a little trickery, but only in moderation. Why do you ask?
Syrus, who is currently running 8 schemes, 5 plots, 12 hustles, and a ttrpg group behind Chremes’ back: No reason. Just pure curiosity, really.
– Terence, The Self-Tormentor
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chryzuree · 1 year ago
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prev post also ties into gil not realizing that HE can hurt chrysi BACK. he spent so much time in his childhood being stressed by her that he made this ver of chrysi in his head that was untouchable. that version of her changed when he saw how gavriel & the rest of the fates had worn chrysi down, but even then, it was more like she’d jst created a protective shell around herself and she’d retreated into it—still untouchable, jst more defensive, but ultimately gil couldn’t harm her.
but then he hurts her to her core because he stuck his foot in his mouth when he said he didn’t care abt chrysi at all + she’s honestly too much and he doesn’t know why anybody would like her like that (??? DUDE, BE SERIOUS????). and she starts laughing wretchedly at the same time as crying and gil realizes that not only is chrysi capable of pain, but that he, himself, had caused this. he’s damaged her deeply. she’s looking at him w an expression he didn’t know she could make + he hates, hates, hates that it’s an expression reserved for him.
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dinarosie · 3 months ago
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Blaming Snape for creating Sectumsempra is like blaming a woman for carrying pepper spray in her bag for self-defense after being repeatedly harassed by a specific group of men. Can you really blame a victim for creating a weapon to protect themselves against their tormentors, while at the same time praising the Marauders' ingenuity for creating tools to spy on, stalk, and invade others' privacy purely for fun and bullying?
What kind of ridiculous logic is that?!
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soul-controller · 5 months ago
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Punished For Pride
“Hey stud, time to come back to Earth! Weren’t you going to flex those muscle tits of yours for me?”
As Joseph shook his head, the man gave a dopey chuckle before taking a puff from the cigarette that loosely hung from his lips. Despite thinking such a command was weird, he pulled open his shirt and began to sensually pop his pecs for the enthusiastic twink standing in front of him. Upon doing it a few times and watching the twink stare in absolute lust though, the sudden throbbing of his boner made him shake away such a bizarre thought. Why would this be weird? He loved nothing more than flaunting his godly body to pretty twinks like this guy!
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Across from him Oliver, the twink, couldn’t help but have a full-body shiver while standing outside in his glittery mesh crop top and vibrant purple booty shorts. Although this was partially due to the cold breeze that whipped against his frail frame, he was truly shivering in both delight and amusement at the man who was continuing to flex his muscles and remark about how pretty Oliver was. The reason behind this was just a few minutes ago, the bulky redneck had been a homophobic asshole who had admonished Oliver for his “faggy” attire and threatened to beat his ass if he didn’t change.
Growing up in a small town, Oliver was used to his fair share of close-minded people who didn’t accept his lifestyle, especially in high school as he found himself bullied by countless jocks. It was through his own desperation for relief from these situations that allowed him to stumble upon the art of hypnosis, which he quickly began to study and become an expert in. In addition to wanting to make his life easier, he was desperate for a little bit of revenge and thus began to one-by-one send his tormentors into a deep slumber as he retooled their minds and personalities to his liking. 
Given how extreme their hatred was of a self-identifying queer man, Oliver was left with no other choice but to cheekily assume they were closet cases and thus it was his task of freeing them from the deep closet they had buried themselves into. From there, his school was going through a coming out epidemic as every single jock who tormented Oliver suddenly broke up with their gorgeous cheerleader girlfriends, declared their homosexuality to the world, and began to spend time in the locker rooms after their practices exploring each others’ bodies.
Ever since he made his way to college where he was surrounded by more open-minded and accepting individuals, Oliver’s penchant for hypnosis had become less and less frequently utilized. But after encountering Joseph leaning against the brick wall of a next door biker bar, old habits die hard so he approached the man and sent him into a deep slumber. In addition to turning him into a proud gay man, the twink altered his personality to become somehow who loved to flaunt their body and flex their muscles – so much so that the man implanted a suggestion for Joseph to quit his job instantly and search for work at the gay club as a go-go dancer.
Upon hearing the man ask if he could join him, Oliver extended out an arm and watched as the formerly stern redneck giggled like a schoolgirl and wrapped his burly forearm around the twink’s. As Joseph quickly pulled his cigarette from his lips and flicked it away, the duo looked at each other and smiled before they made their way into the club for a hot and sweaty night…
Eager to read more stories like this? Head over to my Patreon to discover tons of hot transformation fiction including monthly mini-stories like this one!
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mcgrammar04 · 4 months ago
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A PROMISE IN THE DARK
Aegon Targaryen x Reader
Summary: After enduring relentless cruelty from your family and betrothed, Aegon Targaryen, you break down one night, revealing the depth of your suffering. Aegon, moved by your pain, vows to protect and care for you. He exiles your abusive family and forces them to apologize, marking the start of your healing journey.
You lived in a world of silence, a place where your voice had long been stolen by the cruelty of those meant to protect you. Your family’s abuse had silenced you so thoroughly that you could only communicate through your eyes and your silent tears. The betrothal to Aegon Targaryen was supposed to be a chance for a new beginning, but instead, it became a new source of torment.
Aegon, with his royal air and a crown that should have symbolized justice, became a new tormentor in your already painful existence. He found cruel amusement in your silence, often mocking you in front of others. His words were like daggers, each one aimed at the heart of your already fragile sense of self-worth.
"You know, it’s quite amusing," Aegon would sneer, his eyes glinting with malice, "how you choose not to speak. It must be quite a skill to pretend to be so superior just by keeping your mouth shut."
His jabs were relentless. His laughter echoed through the halls of the castle, a constant reminder that your suffering was entertainment for him. Each day, you tried to shield yourself from his barbs, but they were like relentless arrows, piercing through your defenses.
The nights were the worst. When the castle’s corridors fell silent, you would sit alone in your room, clutching a faded piece of fabric that once belonged to your mother. It was the only remnant of the warmth and love you had known before your family’s abuse drove you into this cruel new reality.
Your family’s abuse had been systematic, a steady erosion of your spirit. They had isolated you, belittled you, and made you feel as though you were nothing more than a burden. They had taken away your voice, your confidence, and most painfully, your sense of belonging. When Aegon came into your life, it was meant to be a rescue, a chance to escape the shadows of your past. Instead, he became a new source of pain, a mirror reflecting all the harshness you had endured.
But there were moments, rare and fleeting, when Aegon’s gaze softened, when his cruelty was replaced by something like curiosity. It was on one such evening that you felt the strain of your silent existence come to a breaking point. The castle’s grand hall was filled with laughter and conversation, a stark contrast to the oppressive quiet of your own life. Aegon had been in particularly high spirits that night, mocking you with a cruel jest that drew laughter from his courtiers.
“Do you not think you’re depriving yourself of so much by remaining silent?” Aegon’s voice rang out. “How can you bear to miss all this? Perhaps your silence is the result of some deep-seated fear, or maybe you simply enjoy being the center of everyone’s attention through your absence of words.”
The jest was met with laughter, and you felt the familiar flush of humiliation. But tonight, something inside you snapped. The weight of his words, the weight of your family’s cruelty, the weight of your own isolation, all crashed down upon you. You felt as though you were drowning in a sea of despair, and you couldn’t hold on any longer.
As Aegon continued his mocking, you felt a tight knot of emotion form in your chest. Your breaths came in ragged gasps, and you could no longer hold back the tears. You collapsed onto the cold stone floor, your body shaking uncontrollably. The laughter of the courtiers faded into a distant murmur as the overwhelming sensation of pain and sorrow consumed you.
Aegon’s laughter died abruptly as he saw you break down. For the first time, he was confronted with the full extent of your suffering. His eyes widened in shock, the cruel mask slipping away to reveal a flicker of concern. He knelt beside you, his usual arrogance replaced by a raw, genuine emotion.
“What is happening?” Aegon’s voice was softer now, tinged with something like fear. “Why are you—”
The words caught in your throat, unable to escape past the storm of emotions. You looked up at him, your eyes brimming with tears. It was then that Aegon saw not just your silent suffering but the story behind it, the profound depth of your pain. The realization of what he had been complicit in hit him with a crushing force.
Aegon took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “I didn’t know,” he murmured, his voice filled with a newfound understanding. “I never realized...”
He helped you to your feet with a tenderness that was foreign to him. The harshness in his gaze had been replaced by a solemn determination. “I am truly sorry,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I didn’t understand the depth of your suffering. I never meant for you to be subjected to this. I promise you, I will make it right.”
The promise was more than words; it was a vow of change. Aegon’s eyes were filled with a mixture of guilt and resolve. “You will be cared for and protected,” he continued, his tone firm. “And as for your family, they will face justice. They will be held accountable for their cruelty.”
You could scarcely believe the transformation in Aegon. The man who had once mocked you now seemed genuinely committed to making amends. He left the chamber, his footsteps echoing with purpose as he began to set things in motion.
In the days that followed, Aegon kept his word. Your family was summoned to the castle, their expressions a mix of fear and defiance. When they arrived, they were forced to kneel before you in the grand hall, their arrogance stripped away by the gravity of their situation.
“Beg for forgiveness,” Aegon commanded, his voice resonating with authority. “You will apologize for every moment of pain you’ve inflicted. Only then will you face the consequences of your actions.”
Your family’s once imperious demeanor crumbled as they knelt before you, their faces contorted with shame and fear. They begged for your forgiveness, their pleas echoing through the hall. Aegon’s gaze remained steely as he observed the scene, his resolve unwavering.
“From this day forth,” Aegon declared, “you will be exiled from everything you have ever known. You will live in isolation, removed from the society you once dominated. It is the least you deserve for the suffering you have caused.”
As your family was led away, you felt a mixture of relief and sorrow. The justice served was necessary, but it came at a cost. The wounds of the past would take time to heal, but with Aegon’s newfound understanding and commitment, there was a glimmer of hope for the future.
In the quiet that followed, Aegon approached you once more. His demeanor had softened, and there was a genuine compassion in his eyes. “You have suffered too much,” he said gently. “I promise that from now on, I will be your protector. I will ensure that you are loved and cared for, and that no one will ever hurt you again.”
The sincerity in his voice offered a fragile hope. Though the path ahead would be difficult, Aegon’s pledge to protect and cherish you gave you a new reason to believe in a brighter future. The journey to healing was just beginning, but for the first time in a long while, you felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you could find solace and a new sense of belonging in the midst of this tumultuous world.
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imaginariumwanderer · 2 months ago
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Mkay last post before logging off. Featuring silly pixel art I made w/ my mouse.
This chart was actually made out of pure self-indulgent a while back with no intention of being posted, I ended up scribbling(?) all over the thing. Hopefully it's readable when zoomed in.
It's "my ship in 5 minutes" but I can make it 30 if you want. WARNING: Tons of sappy yapping+pixel art download under cut.
About "tropes": The trope is called Angel-Devil shipping, oh but I don't think PV is an angel. He's more like a God for SM (at least that's my preference)… Thinking at all the possible tropes that suits them make me really wonder why some people consider Shadowvanilla a crack/pro ship. Enemies to lovers or villain/hero ships have been pretty archetypal since the day of olds. Compared to all the ships I've encountered in the past… Shadowvanilla is more or less the "slightly out of the norm" on the "problematic ships scale" <- typing this out make me feel like an old fandom veteran haha
About "how it happens": I have no idea where to put PV on that chart. He's the one who approached first, but not out of romantic intents, him falling for SM is as unexpected as can be. SM fell first and slowly, and in 'slow' I meant decades upon decades. It's inevitable, painfully so, spending all those years watching over this cookie who's so perfect in his imperfections, how could one not feel something? Of course it's not so simple, that 'something' is a horrid mixture of disgust, envy, hatred, understanding, both the need to preserve and destroy… And maybeee the tiniest crumb of affection? SM realized something around the first couple hundredth years mark, he then spends the next thousands in denial of it. No matter. Whether it's PV or the Soul jam, his birth-given rights. SM knows what he wants and he WILL get what he wants. (He's wrong on both fronts. And somewhere in the back of his mind, SM knows that. But he'll never admit it. He'll never ever admit anything. Until it's too late. In a way, the same goes for PV)
About a certain someone who's not clingy, but would die for attention: I think PV gets lonely easily. As he's hyper-aware of himself and considerate of others, appearing clingy is the last thing PV wants. So PV would put extra efforts in taking care of those around him, be it cookies, animals or the greenery in his garden. A healer is always busy, always helpful. If he's always needed by others then he would never be afraid of being alone. Ironically enough, this ended up making PV come off as a little overbearing. As of late, the only ones able to see through the facade are Hollyberry cookie and you-know-who.
Other scattered thoughts: These two are completely different yet can't be more similar, on the various sliding scales they're either stuck to one another or are flung to both ends. On another note, honestly I can't see these two doing anything domestic together, the most I can see is cooking, which is basically the same as magic in the cookie world. Anyways, are they in "love"? Are they dating? Not really, no. It's more of a a parasitic-turned-symbiotic-soulbond, a will-they-won't-they-destroy-the-world situationship (iykyk) I do enjoy relationships that's hard to put into words. Their feelings are somehow romantic, somewhat deranged and something much, much deeper.
My desire to ship these two comes from the desire to see them grow beyound their archetypes. Being with PV does give SM the chance to be horrible as can be, yeah, but I'd like to think SM does have a personality outside of being a villainous tormentor. He spends so long observing others, and now for the first time he's being seen. Now SM have met someone who can see right through him, who can glimpse into those dammed vulnerabilities of his. Being with SM does let us see PV in his darkest moments, but it's at the same time the moments where PV can shine the most, to prove SM that his ideals isn't naïveté or simple platitudes. In canon, SM+PV works well as enemies, but it is the many contradictions born when romance is added into the mix that got me shipping. They simultaneously break down and bolster one another's greatest traits. Like binary stars, they orbit around the other, so close yet so far apart, lest they collide. They could've been so perfect for each other. But not in this life, or the next, or the next...
Pixel art time! I have way too much fun w/ Smilk's many faces, his and PV's combined came to around 22 expressions. These are quick to made due to their small size (25x25 px). Zip file includes both the og and 75x75 sizes. I don't mind if any Vanilla milkshakers might use these, just please remember to read the my art terms and conditions first! (which can be found in my About)
Some disclaimer: some images may have different names. This is the first time I'm using Getuploader so sorry if something broke.
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thatbugkidd · 11 days ago
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TW blood
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POST-POSSESSION GOAT CYN!!
In this AU, she does get "cured", so to say. Unfortunately that doesn't mean she doesn't suffer a shit ton of emotional baggage!
In the beginning, i feel like Cyn would just completely loath everything about herself. She would hate the horns she grew, hate the height she had gained, she would be disgusted by the color her fur had faded back to. Everything would just be self hate and loathing. She wouldn't be able to look into a mirror without seeing her tormentor. But! Things will eventually improve for her :3
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fleursbending · 2 years ago
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. | Sully Family
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𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 : "You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." Sully! Reader to Sully! Parents? Just a fluffy family fic please
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : sully!family x sully!daughter
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : becoming one with the metkayina's has not been an easy task. as everyone continues to settle in their own ways, your family begins to grow more worried about your well-being. this isn't the sully they know. you're withdrawn, and quiet. what better way to fix that than to seek you out when you least expect it?
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : hi if you're confused so am i! there were issues when i first posted this so i am reposting it again. thank you for the love on the previous one though! // trust me this is fluffy 😭 just have to go through a lil angst to get to that part <33 this is purely a self-indulgent hurt/comfort fic! didn't fully proofread this btw! pls feel free to reblog and leave your thoughts in the comments.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : bullying, discrimination, angst but fluff at the end, descriptions of loneliness, hurt/comfort, you're gonna wish even more that u were a sully after reading this.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3.2k words
𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 : hiiiiii my luvs you can read part 2: here !🙏🏼
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The ocean was not your friend, you could only look at the endless channel of water in disdain. This was far too daunting for you, you liked the little rivers or ponds back at home. The sealife while beautiful, petrified you.
You missed the lush greens and the smell of the dew from the occasional rain back in the jungle. It was easy to forget your responsibilities, not that you had as many as your other siblings. Being the second youngest Sully had its perks. Not older than Lo'ak, and not younger than Tuk.
The "expeditions" you went on now made you look like a fool. You didn't know the terrain here, how to navigate fluidly through the water like Tsireya, Ao'nung, or Roxto.
Each passing day your siblings got better at managing to hold their breath, and riding their Ilu's. But you were still stuck in the past.
It felt reality kept kicking you in the face. Your stubborn self was annoyed as well. Holding a grudge against your family. It seemed like no one missed home. You understood why your parents made the decision they did, but it didn't make the act of doing so hurt any less.
At least you had these quiet moments before your thoughts ran rampant to practice your breathing.
You were suddenly interrupted from your twisting thoughts when a nudge was directed at your head.
It was Ao'nung and his crew.
"Leave me alone." You hissed at them, not wanting to deal with their bullshit today.
"Leave me alone." Ao'nung mocked you as he tugged on your tail.
You quickly stood up, looking to see if any of your family were close by. They weren't. You were supposed to be back in the Mauri but once again, you lost track of time.
"No one is here to help you, Y/n."
They grabbed your hand, poking insults at you and your family. You knew better than to talk back, especially if no one was here to help you out. It was 4 against 1. So instead you bit your lip and kept your mouth shut.
"Roxto, are you there?" His mother called from around the corner, startling the goonies.
"You're in luck, scram!" Ao'nung hissed at you.
Eyes widening, you stumbled as you rushed back to your Mauri. You didn't dare look back at your tormentors.
Once you were a few steps away, you slowed your pace. Catching your breath, before making your way inside.
The worried chatter of your family halted when you made your presence.
Neytiri stopped pacing, moving over to you and grabbing your face in her hands.
"Ewya help me before I lose it. Where have you been? You're 15 minutes late! I was about to send your brothers out to look for you."
Had it really been that long?
"I'm sorry." You looked down in shame. It's weird being on the brunt end of the stick. Even your parents have grown more accustomed to having to tell you off rather than Lo'ak. It was definitely odd.
"You didn't answer your mother's question, where have you been?" Jake didn't like being stern with you, but you being late to dinner had been happening more regularly.
You used to be a stickler for these dinners, being the one to push for them. How everyone had to be in attendance, and on time. It was family bonding time, moments to catch up on what everyone had done that day.
"Just around, I was with my Ilu - I'm sorry." You looked down to the Mauri's floor, unable to meet your father's eyes. It was hard lying to him.
Neteyams eyebrows arched in confusion, he had just been with his Ilu. You were nowhere in sight. He decided to let it slide this time, but he couldn't help but wonder where you snuck off too.
"Alright well, you really got to keep track of time yeah. You used to love these dinners!"
"Yes, and I still do!" You answered too quickly, not missing a beat.
If Jake wasn't suspicious before, he certainly was now. But like Neteyam, he decided to let it slide. Your brothers had told him and Neytiri how you've been struggling to catch up and learn everything in the lessons.
That was partially it, but if only he was aware of the bigger picture.
Jake nodded, looking to Neytiri. She also held a look of concern, but Jake made a silent signal that basically stated:
"We shouldn't push it, not now."
"Well, let's eat before the food gets even colder." Neytiri ushered her kids over, keeping a close eye on you.
Your family gathers around the food that was already set, and start eating. As all your siblings chatted excitedly about the activities they've done throughout the day. You didn't say a thing, not even piping in.
Neytiri and Jake once again met gazes, thinking the same thing.
Something's wrong with our daughter.
Soon dinner was over and it was time to rest, as your family rested together you couldn't help yourself as you removed Tuk's arm that clung to your shoulder.
Maneuvering your way outside, you jumped into the water. Why sleep when you can practice again?
Before Eclipse ended you made sure to squeeze the excess water out of your hair and made yourself comfortable alongside your family. Your body ached and could no longer fight off your sleep deprivation. But it was worth it, you could hold your breath a lot longer now under water.
From then on, it gradually got worse. Even your siblings would struggle to find you throughout the day. You'd take longer naps through the day, and Lo'ak knew you were sneaking out at night. Your essence seemed to further rid itself from you, and all that was left was a hollow shell of yourself.
They too, shared similar thoughts with their parents. No longer could they see you dwindle away. It didn't sit right with them, you're a Sully through and through. Sully's stick together.
So they did what they know best and was most accessible to them, track.
Instead this time they weren't on a hunt, or looking for what was to be a good meal for their clan. They were following the steps of their baby sister.
If you stepped out of your brain for a moment, you would have immediately clocked them. But once again, Y/n was shut in her own bubble.
"Bro, don't you find it weird that she hasn't realised we are here?" Lo'ak whispered as he looked at you behind the leaves keeping them hidden.
"Shut up, Lo'ak" Neteyam grumbled. He didn't want to agree even if his words held some truth.
"Hey, I have to agree with him. We shouldn't have been able to get this far. She's usually far too hyperaware of her surroundings." Kiri observed you, stunned and clueless.
They'd never been to this part of Awa'atlu before. They'd been so fixated on the ocean. They had yet to really explore the area that surrounded their new home. It oddly felt like they were waltzing through their past.
At last, you came upon your tree. You liked it because it had a specific branch that you could curve into. Blend in, and be one with your surroundings. Like you had used to do before in the jungle. This was now your next best option.
Your siblings looked in confusion at one another, not understanding how this could be the reason you've been periodically gone. Did you spend all your time here?
But then it came.
It was barely there, and you were struggling to catch your breath. The cries.
It strikes through the serene sounds of the waves crashing against the shore, and the nearby insects chirping.
Your sibling's ears flattened as they looked at each other in sheer worry. You were a spitfire, but you had always been calm and collected. The physical embodiment of the word warm. Happiness was always with you. So where did it all go wrong?
"Great mother, I fear that I am not good enough. I thought consistency was key, I've been trying to practice anytime I can. But I'm so tired. I've never felt this weak and useless?" You mumbled to yourself, looking up into the sky.
Groaning in frustration, you continued. "Maybe Ao'nung was right. I will never be one of the people. I will always be too alien. I will never be able to live up to my family."
Lo'ak enraged by the doubts you had voiced stepped out from their cover.
Your ears tuned into the noise, you finally tuned into your senses and became more alert. As you hopped off the branch, hastily wiping your tears.
"Brother." You choked out, lips trembling.
He took slow steps towards you, trying to soothe you as he brought you into a hug.
"Baby sister," he said so quietly, solemnly.
You couldn't remember the last time he hugged you, and neither he could he. It wore his heart down, seeing you in such a vulnerable state.
Soon the presence of more arms wrapped around you both, clinging onto you - securing you in their grasps. For the first time in a long time, tenderness surged through you.
"We've got you, Y/n. You're going to be alright. Let it all out now." Neteyam who was at your right side gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead, muttering to himself - "Oh my baby sister."
Kiri had never felt such pain from you, it came off in waves. And it almost debilitated her. In that moment, it was the most protective she had felt for you. It synced through all of them, a fire had awaken in the pit of their souls - so fierce that even Toruk Makto would flinch from it.
Slowly your breaths began to ease, and your tense shoulders slumped down. It was emotionally taxing having had all these emotions balled up inside you. Now it was unraveling, and it felt all too bittersweet.
Your siblings sensing this, mellowed out on their group hug they were giving you. Moving over, you all settled down against the tree you've been confiding in moments before.
Tuk grabbed your hand while Kiri tucked your intricate braids behind your ears. You mouthed a "thank you", leaning your head on her shoulder.
All it took was Neteyam to ask a very simple question, "What's been going on, baby sister?"
And once your mouth opened, you decided - why not just let them in on everything? So you did.
You told them about how ashamed and humiliated you had felt when you started lagging behind. How Ao'nung and his friends would tease you whenever they had the chance to do. (It was always away from prying eyes). Due to that, it only made the feelings of hatred you harbored for yourself - increase a tenth-fold.
A deliberately belligerent cycle was born. Self-doubt equated to "I will push myself to the brink of exhaustion". You'd seek out your family thinking they'd have noticed. But they were too caught up in their own commitments to realise your intentions.
All you wanted was for any of them to see the hard work you had been pouring in to adapting here. But how could they when you always lingered on the outskirts?
Late to dinner, late to the lessons, never seen. They couldn't appreciate what was in front of them because they hadn't witnessed it themselves. How utterly ironic.
"I see why you didn't, but I wish you had told us, Y/n. We could have helped you." Kiri insisted as she patted your head.
"I know." You grumbled, but you were grateful for how attentive they are to you.
"Ao'nung will pay." Lo'ak seethed, completely shifting the topic of conversation.
Neteyam rolled his eyes and interjected. "He will, but not in the way you are seeing it in your mind right now. We have to go to dad and mum about this."
Your irritated eyes widened, leaping up from where your back had laid against the tree. Y/n scowled at Neteyam, her tail flicking in anguish. No, not her parents.
"Absolutely not, 'Teyam. They mustn't know anything of this." You countered him, disbelief flooding your features. Your parents would only perceive you as a failure, and that was the last thing you could stomach right now.
Neteyam stood up by you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. He shook his head at you and gave you one of his brotherly grins.
"Baby sister, they are just as worried as we are." He looked behind you, and urged you to turn around.
Oh great mother, that could only mean one thing.
Ember crashed on ember, one filled with panic, and two filled with distraught. The tension was taut, but all your parents wanted to do was cradle you in their arms like they had in your first few months of life.
"Kids, back to the Mauri." Jake ordered them, pointing back to where it was.
"But dad-" Lo'ak butted in, worriedly looking at you.
"It's okay. Thank you, Lo'ak." You coaxed him to join your siblings who were also hesitating a little.
They disappeared amongst nature, and their footsteps grew fainter and fainter. Until all that was left was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. It felt oddly comforting being in their company even though doubt was eating you up from the inside.
It's been a while.
Neytiri was the first to approach you, her hands shook as she cradled your face. She took you in for the first time in weeks, and this time she was able to do it properly. Lately, she'd only been able to admire you whilst you sleep, or during meals.
In the morning you'd be gone in a blink of an eye. Throwing a haphazard, "I'll see you later", over your shoulder.
She missed you profoundly, so much that it physically pained her sometimes. Neytiri treasured you deeply, to put it bluntly - her heart felt like it'd been slashed by a Thanotor ever since you started pushing yourself away.
Jake followed in his mate's footsteps. His eye's tearing into your soul and trying to catch if there had been any distinct changes that have occurred to you.
"You don't look like yourself." Jake stumbled on his words.
Neytiri hissed, smacking your dad on the back of his head. A slight giggle escaped you that made both of their hearts sing. "Ma jake."
"Sorry." He mumbled, giving you a cheeky grin.
Y/n's doubts were already melting away before she herself could even acknowledge it. She grabbed both her parent's hands, leading them over to her tree not too far away from where they had been standing.
Mimicking how she and her siblings were just before. She settled against the tree again, bringing her parents down with her.
The trio admired their surroundings, taking in the wonders of Pandora. Especially Jake, and Neytiri. This is the closest they've felt to something akin to the jungle they'd once inhabited.
"I'm sure you heard everything, and it is true. I am sorry if I've disappointed you guys. I thought I could manage it all on my own."
Neytiri played with your hair and could only chastise your words. "You did not disappoint us, if anything - you infuriated us. We were just worried about you, our dear daughter."
Jake nodded in agreement. "We love you, and we want to be there for you. We will if you allow us. That's what we are here for. You don't need to fight these battles alone. Remember what I told you, baby girl?"
You rolled your eyes and pushed your dad away from you jokingly.
"It's us against the world." You mumbled.
Jake teasingly put a hand to his ear. "I'm sorry? What was that? I couldn't hear you."
Neytiri let out a soft laugh at you two's antics, watching with endearment sparkling in her eyes.
Clearing your throat, you reiterated your words. "It's us against the world."
Jake did extravagant hand motions, "More enthusiasm please!"
You were beaming, yelling out, "It's us against the world!"
"That's right baby, it is." Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulders bringing you to his side. Neytiri instinctively leaned against you both.
Y/n couldn't help but admire her parents. They were her foundation, her protectors. She couldn't believe that she used to be ashamed of being a Sully. It was her legacy, one she is only beginning to pave. She wasn't about to let Na'vi who didn't truly know her, dictate her life any longer.
"You taught me that love doesn't make us weak, it makes us stronger." You started, staring at your parents.
"I just - I couldn't catch up. There are so many other bigger things to worry about, and I thought.. I don't know. That I'd overcome this. I tried to love the ocean and the people. But I miss home. I miss everything that was green, now it's just all blue! That's actually why I like this place so much." You rambled, arms waving erratically. It felt gratifying to get it off your chest, especially to the two people you have wanted to tell from the get-go.
Your parents nodded, taking all your words in. But they were still conflicted. Their daughter had a competitive nature like no other, every time the world pushed her down - she always got back up. If you were lagging behind so much, you would have just pushed yourself more. Work extra hard, and seek help from your family.
But you haven't done any of that this time. All the means necessary she could have used as a stepping stone were left out of this equation. Instead, you had suffered in silence.
"You know, Y/n. It's not your fault for feeling like you don't belong. But you are one of us. You are Sully, you are the embodiment of strong heart. It does not matter what others say to you when no one else is there. It does not matter that you have 5 fingers." Neytiri protested, sighing.
She made sure you were looking at her, hearing her.
"What matters is how you control how it affects you. You are still growing, baby. This is a lesson you will remember for a lifetime and the next." Neytiri advised you, squeezing your hand.
"Your mother is right. At the end of the day, the power is in your hands. So use it, sweetheart. Follow your heart, and let us know next time if it gets a little too much. Alright?" Jake expanded on what Neytiri had told you.
You looked down at their hands holding yours. Yeah, Sully's really do stick together. And you wouldn't trade that for anything else in this world and all the other's orbiting you.
"Alright." Y/n restated, tugging both of her parents up with her. They stared at their child with confusion.
"Let's go back home." This time what you threw over your shoulder to them was a sweet smile, dimples and all.
Neytiri and Jake spoke with only their eyes as they let Y/n guide them back to their Mauri.
Our daughter is going to be just fine.
࿐ ࿔*:・゚˳೫˚
bonus:
Y/n's laughter could be heard inside the Mauri as she played in the water with Tuk just in front of their home.
Jake turned to Lo'ak and Neteyam who were doing some chores.
He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck.
"I'll turn a blind eye if you decide to give Ao'nung a beating or two. Just for today." Jake mentioned, before going back to cleaning his gun.
Lo'ak had a devious grin, rubbing his knuckles together, "Yes Sir."
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𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑
⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡
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nightmaretherabbit · 2 years ago
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Here's them! :D
Afton Family Lineup as promised
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Plus ages. Thought those would be important for lore reasons.
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stemms · 2 months ago
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I believe that c!Tommy’s kleptomania is one of the most fascinating and heartbreaking parts of his personality, as it adds layers to his character, and explains certain parts of the lore that some people seem to consider a simple bad habit and display of his childishness. I would like to elaborate on that further and explore the way it changed in the exile arc.
To begin with, c!Tommy has been suffering from kleptomania ever since s1, but contrary to popular belief, he had no malicious intentions. From the very beginning of the server, he was already severely traumatised to the point of having PTSD and lacked self-worth. So, understandably enough, he was craving something to make up for his self-hatred, and robbery became that thing. c!Tommy would mostly steal insignificant things because what truly mattered was the amount of things he possessed, not their value or rarity. After all, if he had a large number of objects in his possession, it meant that he was worthy, and nothing else truly mattered.
Since the very beginning of exile, despite his need to acquire items to stabilise his extreme self-hatred, c!Tommy adamantly refused to accept anything from his visitors because he couldn’t help but assume that the gifts in question were “pity items”, and being pitied was one of the things he hated the most. As his exile went on, the belief that no one cared enough to offer him a gift out of genuine care, only grew stronger due to c!Dream’s manipulation, c!Tommy’s severe loneliness, and the heartbreak of the Beach Party. However, with time, the blond has grown to trust someone other than c!Dream — c!Ranboo. Eventually, he allowed the enderman hybrid to offer him things, as long as he promised that his gifts came from the heart. As much as c!Tommy attempted to hide his true feelings, he cherished every single object received from c!Ranboo. These weren’t just objects, like the ones he’d often steal from people to feel worthy — these served as a reminder that there was something to live for, and at least, someone other than c!Dream genuinely cared about him.
Considering that c!Dream has been obsessed with c!Tommy ever since s1 (which included living in his walls and stalking him) and used his kleptomania and “destructive nature” as an argument to get him exiled from L’Manberg, he certainly was aware of the boy’s insecurity, and was looking forward to exploiting it to the fullest to break- no, shatter him :)
The daily routine of discarding his objects hurt c!Tommy far more than we could’ve imagined, because if we keep his deep self-hatred in mind, he didn’t simply find it upsetting due to being stuck in the cycle of obtaining and destroying his items — it was something more than that. Every lost item equaled a tiny shard of c!Tommy’s self-worth, and soon enough, there was almost Nothing left; he was nothing but an empty shell.
Understandably enough, with time, the teenager has grown to believe that he wasn’t worthy to possess anything valuable of his own — he was meant to earn every little thing, and his best friend tormentor couldn’t be more pleased :) :) :)
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local-queer-classicist · 1 year ago
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Terence my beloved
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laylaplease · 10 months ago
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Pretty and cock-drunk ༘♡ *.。˖𓂃 ִֶָ
ׁ ֶָ֢ ⏤͟͟͞͞☕️ ׁ ࣭ warnings ! ۪ ׁ ⊹ || Dom!Anakin × Sub!Fem!Reader, dumbification, humiliation, inferiority, blowjob, size difference, power imbalance, dacryphilia, PiV mentioned, ownership, ddlg themes, begging, cum, pet names. MDNI
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Anakin loves making you feel inferior when it comes to your sexual environment. He dislikes missing out on getting you on your knees and bullying your throat with his massive cock till you are deemed to be looking humiliated enough. It’s all a little game to him; will he cum enough to cover both your face and the inside of your mouth? Will you cry? You definitely will if you are wearing mascara. He just adores having streaks of paint running down your face, which you definitely won’t be cleaning too soon after he’s done. “Look at this fucked-out face, what a pretty girl.” He’d drag you to the mirror just to praise the ruined make-up. He genuinely found it beautiful too; the more ownership marks on you, the prettier you were in his eyes. And you were very owned inside and out. While for you it wasn’t a necessity, Anakin, to be frank, didn’t consider it a proper fuck if your cervix didn’t end up bruised. Luckily, it was quite difficult to avoid when he was well-gifted in his physical assets. “Look at it baby, all’s going in your pretty little pussy.” He’d rub it in your face by having his fully hard cock resting on top of your tummy, leaking precum all over you like a little sex doll. “Yeah? Think you can take daddy, pretty face? All the way in your guts, baby. Gonna stretch you good.” Anakin’s words were usually a perfect tool to make you drool and writhe under him as you pathetically begged for him to do all the things he’s promised you. He never told you, but it always takes a lot of self control to watch you plead for dick until your brain goes dumb and empty. He’d love to just ravage you as is, but he knows he’s a better tormentor when you’re a babbling excuse of a person who only thinks with her cunt. “There we go, dumb enough to use.”
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hana-no-seiiki · 9 months ago
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Interested in seeing Yun's A/B/O arc. I am very picky about my omegaverse content BUT. Idea: Alpha/Omega Batfam desperately wanting reader who is a beta, unbothered by their nonsense. They're gnawing on their enclosure as reader says, "The fuck is their problem???"
@sophiethewitch1 just to inflict more damage to your psyche 🩵
like it when you guys use my name so much huhu
YANDERE! A/B/O! BATFAM x BETA! READER
Beta Reader who is just unbothered and unwilling to care about the whole second gender hierarchy and just wants to get a normal job at Wayne Industries
But it’s literally impossible when they have Alpha! Dick as their childhood friend.
You should thank him really, he gave you a spot at your dream (totally) job. You should thank him for many things actually. You’re the only beta he ever told his hero identity to. He gave his whole heart and trust towards your irrelevant beta self. As such, you should be grateful that he asked you out right? Wrong.
Unfortunately, you were already in a relationship with Omega! Tim. Who you met after the death of your partner Beta! Jason. His omega tendencies and the fact that you were unable to fully take care of him as a mate saddened you, but sacrifices must be made for love right?
Omega! Tim who’s just so fucking obnoxious about bagging you. He leaves his scent all over your items. Warding off Alpha! Damian who had been crushing on you since forever.
Alpha! Damian who kept bullying you for being a Beta up until that fateful day Batman suddenly died(disappeared), and you were the only one that stepped up to comfort him. Sure, you didn’t know he was your tormentor (God was he thankful you couldn’t smell his arousal and pheromones going haywire when you hugged him) but you were the only person he felt safe being so vulnerable with. So un-alpha like with. You knew who Nightwing was right? You must know who he was and cared for him eitherway.
Beta! Jason who comes back with a vengeance. Cursing Joker for separating you two. Who hated you for being a beta even though he was one himself, but learnt to love you and eventually his second gender. Whose first coherent thought was to return to his mate, but is heartbroken upon the sight of his replacement.
Alpha! Batman who lurks within the shadows. He knows of his children’s obsessions, he knows you’re the final piece needed for his gamble to succeed.
You who’s unknowingly walking into the jaws of the most unhinged men on Gotham.
….
… Captured! Beta Reader who wakes up to the leering eyes of the Dark Knight. Scalpel in hand.
“It’s time to fix you.”
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kacievvbbbb · 3 months ago
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You do get the sense that the fallout of Roger's death and the Roger pirates disbanding not so much traumatized Buggy and Shanks indifferent ways but instead generated such drastically different reactions to the trauma.
While the trauma of everything seemed to push Shanks into the future, always constantly waiting for something, putting plans on hold and then later in place, for this great moment, this great coming that he sees on the Horizon. For Buggy it rooted him firmly in the past keeping him trapped in this grief masquerading as anger.
While Roger's death forced Shanks to grow up fast, it kind of arrested Buggy's development keeping him stuck in those same feelings, rooted int that same place.
You get the sense that Buggy's whole east blue schtick is just one long overdue rebellious phase one big fuck you to Roger and his ideals. He's rebelling against Roger's principles. One of their rules was don't steal from innocent people and Buggy was keeping a whole town in poverty. If Roger and Luffy's pirating styles are diametrically opposed to someone like Blackbeard, who might be the most literal pirate in the entire series, then buggy is the parody of that Blackbeard piratism. He is playing up cruelty, being the most piratey pirate possible, hell he's literally a clown on a stage. It's all a show! It's his own special way of trying to "get back at Roger" of trying to discard everything Roger taught him for this overacted, over exaggerated clownish cruelty. Mentally he never left that execution square. He is still 15, alone and scared.
Hell he literally never left either, while I'm pretty sure Shanks' booked it out of the east blue as fast as he could, Buggy never lef, might have never left, if not for Luffy. It's part of why Luffy bothers him so much, he's just like Roger everything that Buggy is trying hard to forget and here comes this kid, whose never even met the Captain but is wearing his hat, shoving it right back in his face.
It makes sense that he never leaves the east blue till Luffy literally forces him out of it (fucking with Luffy gets him captured and imprisoned) and it makes sense that it's Luffy that literally breaks him out of prison, literally sets him free, and on the path to greatness that maybe he was always meant to achieve (even if he trips his way into it). This boy that is tragically so much like his old captain but so beautifully unabashedly himself, is what Buggy needs to start letting go off the past, to start trying to move forward.
Maybe that's why Buggy, at what could arguably be described as his lowest moment, gets the strength to free himself from his own self imprisonment, realizing that even back then he was locking himself away and pinning his own dreams on Shanks. And, maybe for the first time ever, Buggy really own his dream. He declares to his tormentors and his crew and the entire world that; actually He wants to find the one piece, him, as captain of his own crew, this crew, not just a part of someone else's. That's his dream and he's willing to turn the world upside down to do it.
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kneelingshadowsalome · 11 months ago
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Genuinely so obsessed with the ask you answered about reader being associated with König’s childhood bullies and coming back years later to try and make amends……. I need the angst, the drama, the nasty disgusting degrading sex, the absolute turmoil on both of their parts 😭 I am starving for this, the way you portray König especially there is exactly how I’ve always envisioned him in my mind!!!!!! And then with reader desperately trying to make him happy now out of guilt and her crush that’s grown 10x since she saw him in school, delusionally hoping and believing there’s a *relationship* between them and she can fix what she thinks she allowed to happen back then 10 years after the fact, while König is constantly fighting himself to not fall for reader despite his own buried crush resurfacing, and convincing himself he’s only using her to release stress and tension after assignment while simultaneously holding so much resentment for her and her sheer proximity to the people that tormented him back then, I am foaming at the mouth for the toxic dynamics to be found there !!!!!!!!! The old him begging to fulfill some childish need to have her, while this new monstrous version of himself only wants to watch her suffer to repent for how he had to suffer !!!!!!!!!!!!
I know right?! I’m obsessed with this too!
I’m so here for the toxic relationship dynamic (sue me), also me and @bucca2/@wordstome had a whole conversation about this yesterday because König would bend over backwards to self sabotage this shit.
(The following is mainly a summary from our brainstorm session from last night + I have bucca to thank for the precious meme at the end, it’s König in a nutshell with his high school crush lol)
First of all our girl is sooo in love. She was in love when they were young, but now? She’s a goner, König is out of this world. He's so handsome, so confident, the epitome of cool if there ever was one... and God, would you look at those muscles?
Now she can finally drool all over him but back then, what was she to do? As the shy one of the clique, she always tried to avoid attention; she could never have endured what König did. Perhaps it was cowardly of her, but she really was just scared. She could only dream about him from afar, and in her dreams, they would both change schools due to their parents moving or something... Ending up in the same area, finally getting to be together like it was a miracle, Deus ex Machina.
Her silly dreams never came true, but it looks like they're coming to fruition now. And this time, she's going to make everything better! Now that they're both grown up and free from their tormentors she can finally admit that she has feelings for him, feelings that are only sparked fast aflame when she sees the man he has become.
And König can’t stand it.
Where was she when he was odd and scrawny? Where was she when he cried himself to sleep over her?? Of course she wants him now that he’s big, independent and menacing, an odd nerd who discovered guns and gym... He thought she was better than this.
Deep inside, he’s still like this:
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...but we just need to forget about it because König is NOT going to fold for this girl.
He’s not.
And the sex is so NASTY. Bordering on degrading, König wants to be a gentleman when it comes to ladies, but this one? This one he wants to fuck like he paid for her. She brings out the beast in him, and he finds himself asking her to get on her knees and blow his cock on some filthy cruise... Fucks her like he doesn’t love her, and she’s absolutely lovestruck, when did König become so mean? (God, that she loves him)
Trying not to fall in love with her (as if he ever fell out), König is so incredibly mad at this girl – is this what she wanted this whole time? A buff jerk who fucks her doggystyle until her knees bleed, who gives her the bare minimum, who barely even calls her when he’s away? (He has to physically restrain himself from doing that because of course he’d like to hear her pick up the phone with pure hope in her voice)
While changing his tactics and devising a plot to make her pay, König doesn’t even understand that he’s falling fast for her again while becoming now (seemingly) the best version of himself. It's only to dump her later, of course. He's just being nice so that she'll cry over losing him later. He brings her flowers, eats her out for hours, getting sick satisfaction from the way she cries about how it’s the best sex she’s ever had. He’s going to bring her to her knees, in more ways than just one... She’s going to remember him for the rest of his life when he rearranges her guts, ruining her for any other man.
König is becoming the thing he hates the most while she’s learned her lesson, now wearing her heart on her sleeve. No more shame and secrets, she’s not afraid to tell him how she feels! How she always had a small crush on him… And not even that small… How she loved to hear his presentations, no matter what silly subject they were about because he had actually done his research. How she could’ve swooned when his voice changed. After a short breaking period, he started to talk lower than anyone else in the class, earning himself more of that bullying because he sounded so manly at such a young age.
König is about to burst a blood vessel when hearing all this: she had a crush on him back then? What the actual fuck??
And then come the cuddles, the slow mornings, the coffee and toast, the showering together… She leaves her toothbrush in his place, and it stares at him accusingly from the side of the sink. She wears his t-shirts and looks absolutely gorgeous, mouth-watering and sweet in them. His sexy little minx, the one who didn’t get away…
Wait, what? No. No. No!
And when his high school sweetheart confesses her love for him for the first time, she's so open and vulnerable and sweet about it. Like she has been from the start, his sweet, sweet girl, exactly the kind of woman he always wanted to bring home to see his mom. König is about to lose his mind when she tugs at his shirt, almost cries when she says how much she loves him and couldn’t bear to live without him… She would cry herself to the grave if anything ever happened to him…
(König is like:)
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