#self relfection
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so today i bought a journal, ripped a piece of paper out of a different old journal, and wrote "the book of people" on said piece of paper, and taped it to the cover of my new journal.
then, i skipped two pages and titled the page "mom". i proceeded to write - what i could only describe as - a letter of sorts, to my mom. now of course, she will never see this letter, nor will anyone else, so i did my best to be as truthful as i could possibly be. im not sure why but, even in my journal, i tend to censor myself a little - im not fully honest. i say i am, but im not. i did try tho.
after i finished my letter, where i wrote all my feelings towards my mother - the good and bad - i went back a page, and titled it "table of contents" and skipped a line and wrote "mom (1-4)".
the idea of this is to, essentially, write a letter to everybody in my life and fill the book up with it - a book of people.
im not sure why i wrote this or why im sharing this. but it was fun. i found that when i wrote this letter, i was able to reflect on a lot of things. able to think back on things, and see things clearer. now of course, the idea of writing things down to better process it isn't new.
i think, overall, im js excited. to write about all these people who i love. and of course, the name is "the book of people" so i have to write about the people i hate too. not fun. but idk. i js wanted to share. have a good night y'all.
#writing#books#journal#mother#relfection#self reflection#self realization#self respect#mental health#love
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letting the guilt go.

I saw this image on Pinterest and it really made me think. I realised that every time I avoid action or procrastinate it all starts from me observing my past mistakes and feeling as if I can’t let them go because I made them. (Keep in mind I’m not talking about behaviours that hurt others in any way). Instead, while it’s true that you may did some things wrong, overthinking those mistakes in the illusion of somehow controlling the past will not serve you.
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literally insane to me still that chappel roan was like. im cancelling these music festival appearances for my mental health. & there were ppl dead serious out there like no its selfish to do that you should perform anyway youre a bad person for putting your own mental health first & depriving me personally of a performance
#NOOO self relfection. my god#good on her for setting hard boundaries from the shit ive heard her fans treat her terribly. since when was it ok to kiss random ppl in#public without asking nvm that theyre a celebrity......
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But also yeah comments about you being “dumb” which you absolutely are not, are just plain nasty and mean-hearted, even if a “joke” imo. Immature behavior.
Yeah thank you :( we poke fun at each other a lot which is why i wont make a big deal of it to his face but yeah. I think i am generallt pretty sensitive to these jokes, but especially coming from my bf i get reallt offended
Mt ex used to make "jokes" about me being dumb and id cry myself to sleep about it because its a sensitive topic for me idk🧍🏽♀��
#idk if i notice these jokes are consistent then ill say something but ill leave it for now#im trying to be self aware and self relfect abd the same time so that i dont just idk “attack” him
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A Pathway to Sacred Self-Discovery: Crafting a Journaling Practice
How can journaling evolve from a simple habit to a transformative devotional practice? Perhaps, as with most things, the answer lies with our intentions. Journaling, when approached intentionally, becomes more than an act of reflection—it becomes a sacred ritual that fosters self-discovery and spiritual alignment. By dedicating time and energy to journaling, we cultivate a practice that nurtures…
#Alignment#Awareness#Devotion#Devotional#Growth#Habits#How to#Journal#Lifestyle#Mindfulness#Personal Development#Personal Growth#Relfection#Ritual#Self-Care#Spiritual Development#Spiritual Growth
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Traffic jams are gifts? 🎁 🚦

Ever find yourself stuck in a traffic jam, inching forward at the pace of a lethargic snail, wondering if you'll ever see your driveway again? It's like the universe decided to give you a front-row seat to your own thoughts, a ticket you never asked for. As the minutes tick by, your mind wanders through a maze of emotions: frustration at the car in front that seems to be powered by molasses, envy of the empty, fast-moving lane on the other side of the barrier, and the deep-seated impatience that makes you question if you’re actually evolving into a more irritable version of yourself. But then, amidst the honks and sighs, you realize this gridlock is oddly reflective of life’s struggles.
Sometimes, you hit these metaphorical traffic stops where progress feels impossible, and every attempt to move forward is met with resistance. Yet, it's in these pauses you get a rare chance to reflect. What if this annoying standstill is actually a gift? A moment to breathe, to ponder, to plan? Just as you wouldn’t want to speed through a scenic route without appreciating the view, maybe these life’s jams are nudging you to slow down and reassess. In the end, that delayed arrival might just be the pit stop your weary soul needed, offering clarity and perspective on the journey ahead. So next time you're stuck, whether on the road or in life, embrace the pause. You might just find it's the break you didn't know you needed.
#100 days of productivity#thinking#thoughts#self care#traffic#relfection#insights#open#spiritual journey
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internships
found in my drafts, it looks like I have forgotten to post it
I hate internships and by this I don’t mean the internships I’d do itself, I rather hate the whole process before. Sitting down, making research about the place(s) you want to apply to and the worst actually writing the application. The thought of it alone exhausts me so much, ugh. But why is it like that? I have the feeling that writing about myself and give them reasons why I am THE candidate for them is just a huge lie. Or at least I have told myself that. The way I write in applications do not represent who I am, it’s more about a version of me which they want to hear about. And I have to problems with this application writing;
one: There is something in me (BPD is this you?), that tells me I'm lying. I’m not an enthusiastic person, who works well with other people and enjoys learning about new stuff and things that challenge me are only a motivation to keep on. I can be this person and sometimes I'm just some parts of this person at a time, but what the voices in my head are telling me is “You are a piece of shit, you know it and they will also know it once they have read this crap that you have just written. So why applying in the first place?”.
two: ok, I think it’s more about me self-sabotaging myself. I think I make it so hard for myself before I have even started to do anything, so that I won’t start at all. Having this voice telling me over and over and over again that there is no point to begin with… it’s exhausting and demotivating. I mean, it took me a week to finally sit down and to just have a look at the publication company only to find out that they already don’t search for any new applications. If I only sat down. If I only wrote this application. I’m sabotaging myself. I don’t deserve this. I wouldn't deserve this. Gosh, why am I doing this to myself? Am I that much afraid of adulthood? As a 26 year old? Or am I simply afraid of a my future? But why so? I’m staring at my monitor and can’t think of a reason. Not even a dumb one. (minutes are passing by). Usually I’m afraid of what people think of me, but if I got a big girlboss job why should they judge me in any negative way? Even now that I'm studying and working part time as a waitress people are still proud of me. Or not proud, but they support me. I just can’t find a reason for this self-sabotaging behavior.
Interesting what a turn the actual idea of the blog post has made. I wanted to write about internships, that I see why they can be important for some people, but also about unpaid internships and that you have to work full time for a minimum of three months and not even get paid for it. How one should survive in such conditions? How should one pay rent? Pay life? Pay food? Just so one can add this experience to their CV. I wanted to write about this and I ended up with a question that I can not answer about myself and my self-sabotaging behavior.
so this was from the end of November or something in December. I can't really tell, and since then I have sent two applications in the publication industry. One to an unpaid internship that I have to do for at least three months and a paid one that would also want me to work for the same time period. Well, they haven't even answered, but the unpaid one mailed me back and after some correction and translation they've decided that they want me. And I am happy, I guess, it's just I can't tell why I am not ~that~ happy with it. Anyway, maybe it's the self-sabotage again. Maybe it's a gutfeeling (from my self-sabotage, lol), but my internship starts 1st February, so I will keep you updated on my thoughts and impressions.
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I prefer to believe in people who demonstrate with facts, it is easy to talk but few are committed to fulfilling their words and promises.
Lately it's hard for me to believe in people, I just want to remind you,that if you play with love, loyalty and trust, thinking that good person it's gonna forgive You,if you're that immature, don't try to look for me anymore.
We are adults, let's be responsible and make this a better place, communication is important so speak up, be honest and transparent,don't do what you don't want them to do to you.
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There has to be some level of self-relfection after you hire the honest-to-god PINKERTONS to BREAK SOMEONE'S LEGS on which you're forced to acknowledge that you're now just a straight up movie villain
#wotc#mtg#magic the card game#magic the gathering#wizards of the coast#dnd5e#dungeons and dragons#ttrpg#ttrpg memes#pinkerton#us history
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"A joke that you turned into a betrayal to all of us Fizz!" Ozzie yelled out, voice cracking eyes wet with hot tears, looking away bitterly before put his head in his hands and the room chilled, frost growing from where he sat slowly as his mane fell.
He sobbed as Fizz stepped closer "I... I don't know! They shouldn't have had to deal with me like that! Or any of this! What kind of boss, or even buisness partner has someone do that..?" Ozzie questioned before Fizz touched his hands, making him look at Jester in slight surprise.
He took a bit to respond, grasping Fizz's hands firmly, knowing he wouldn't hurt him by doing so "I... Yes... I do need a break I think, some way to relax... But..." The sin sighed, head falling, the skulls in his mane looking incredibly sullen and depressed to match him.
"Promise, you won't do this again. Use me like this. I can't take it. And apologize, earnestly to them, they don't need your sarcasm if you want to fix all this, even if I will probably give them a break..." Asmodeus requested sadly, caressing Fizz's face gently with a frown.
"Please...If not for them, for me, and Robo... He tried to cover for you till near the end but he stopped me from hurting anyone..." The sin noted, the cold calming down but still somewhat oppressive
The glare Ozz shot Fizz at the attempted joke was just utterly done with his nonsense, speaking out his mind, sighing when Fizz talked again "If you think I'd ask Mammon for anything there is something wrong. Yes you didn't know, but you didn't need to snip back when they were rightfully upset, you gave them a day off and then promptly ruined and looked remorseless! How do you think they felt? How do you think I did the fact you tricked me into allowing you to?" The sin asked, plenty of pain and anger still in his words. Before he clawed into his chair
"Mammon... Of course, it always goes back to him doesn't it. As if this day wasn't ruined enough for me every year..." Asmodeus began bitterly before his voice just got sad, voice almost cracking, that awful laughter echoing in his head
"Contrary to what Mamm may have told you, you can hurt someone with a prank, quite a lot Im remembering now..." Ozzie said wiping tears out of his eyes before looking at Fizz, sadly.
"I'm not just mad, Im hurt Fizz, you used my love for you to manipulate me, and made me question my own judgement. You broke my trust, how are others supposed to trust me, if I can't even trust myself or my partner? How can I expect that now...?" Asmodeus said, voice actually cracking as he put his head in his hands, quietly beginning to sob in front of the jester.
The room grew colder, the flames in the fireplace going out as Ozz's mane fell onto his shoulders limply, an icy chill surronding the sobbing sin, making him wrap his tail feathers around his legs as curled into himself even more as he sobbed even more.
#//yeah I mean#Chasity is kinda his darkest and lowest point self esteem wise so it comes out when he feels like this XP#Even changes his body a bit to relfect that he's falling back there again...#April Fools 2024#~feather soft flames~ [ozzie]#~frolicking feathered fun~ [ozzie x fizz]
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To avoid any confusion the 'both of them' on the poll refers to Moxxie and Millie together not Fizzarolli.
I've been thinking, and Blitz clearly isn't in the denial stage of the relationship breakup anymore after apology tour, so I imagine Blitz is starting to get to the point where he won't be so closed off about what happened as he 'doesn't want to be this way, not forever', and being able to talk to people about it is a great step for self-relfection, healing and change.
One of them could put two and two together and question Blitz about it as well, (for example, the asmodean crystal Blitz now has, although that one would be specific to Moxxie and Millie). So I imagine it's only a matter of time before one of them finds out.
The m and ms are a good choice for Blitz because of the fact Blitz kept spying on them, gaining some knowledge of what a healthy relationship looks like from them. Plus Moxxie also hasn't had a good childhood as well, as we can really see in s2 e3.
Fizzarolli can probably hit closer to home for Blitz because while there's a difference between the seven deadly sins and the Ars Goetia, they were both in relationships with people who rank very much above them in the hierarchy, allowing him to relate to Blitz on that front, not to mention how much both of them were affected in the circus fire, bringing both of them close to home on that front as well.
#helluva boss#stolas#blitzo#blitzø#stolitz#helluva boss stolas#stolas goetia#helluva fizzarolli#fizzarolli#moxxie#helluva millie#moxxie helluva boss#millie
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back in the 2000s when people would enact pseuicide (exactly what it sounds like), it was largely as a form of ego-defense. while it was sometimes elicited as a response to actual harassment, the lower stakes nature of interaction on the old net made it as common a play in disagreements as telling someone to kill themselves. a lot of the time, the user in question was unwilling to concede their position in some particular discourse or their status/power in a particular community, but was also left dissonant by the fact that they had no unilateral control over how others saw them, or how others felt. a pseuicide would in this case allow the user to retract an internet persona that had been turned into a pathway way for the ego to be damaged by others while also preserving as much of it's integrity as possible by allowing the purported death to frame them as forever the victim of their interaction with their opps (with of course the intentional added effect of inflicting psychological anguish on them by making them believe they contributed to a suicide). the user would then rebrand under a different account and then rebuild their posting empire, completing the cycle of the pseuicide.
there's a reason why the term 'psueicide' has fallen out of vogue beyond the fact that it is a cruel way to regard the potential suicide of someone online. the deanonymization and userbase-fostered hypersurveillance of the modern net has done away with the low-stakes interactions of aughts forums that made it easy to just say "I'm going to kill myself" to a bunch of formless usernames; on top of just making it very difficult to disappear in general. how many people have you seen abandon their social media handles due to drama, harassment or stress, only to be found under a new persona a week later? you can scrub the internet of as much of your posting presence as you want, but you're going to have a harder time preventing friends, family and even strangers who happen upon you conceal details of your present status just by virtue of how normal it is to involve so much of how you spend real life in what you post online. the modern spectacle of posting makes most user's actions a new development in the narrative arc of their social media presence, and a suicide attempt (real or otherwise) will be milked for entertainment in accordance with such before it is examined for sympathy or used as a means of self-relfection.
you may think this post is about james somerton now that the news has come out that he is thankfully fine, but it's actually not! admittedly though, his attempted rebranding got me thinking about a few things, ultimately leading up to the thought "ah, you really can't say that you will kill yourself online like you used to.". where do you go when nuking everything and starting over is barely an option? well, outside I guess. perhaps to the woods.
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Author Ask Tag
Thank you so much for the tag @aalinaaaaaa, and @tc-doherty ! Love these tags.
What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?
I’m really bad at determining a lesson, so most of the times I just… don’t, lol. I write because I have stories I want to tell, and although the characters learn valuable lessons, I don’t approach the story with a clear one I want to “teach” with it. I hope people take away something from it, but more like their own interpretations than my ideals and values.
But, if I squint, maybe Sasin’s lesson can be that you can’t be your best self for someone else. Which comes from a a relfection of some of my, the author’s, personal experiences. As all stories do imo. And a reason why I would choose it (if I could choose it instead of just putting it in instinctively, and unkowingly first) is because I hope people can resonate with it, and have an impact on their life even if a tiny one. Realise something about themselves and find solace in it or motivate them to grow.
2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?
Mostly Korean mythology, shamanism, the Roaring Twenties, martial art movies/series/books and real-life mafia documentaries/ fictional gang wars and family sagas (prime example: Peaky Blinders). Although the ‘20s thing is just for the aesthetic and to establish the level of technological advancements (i.e.: no phones, no computers, lots of smoking, drinking and glitter and pompousness).
I basically combied everything I ever loved and was intrigued by since I was 12.
Plus I was always drawn to the brutal world of underworld workings where honour and “you have my word” still seemed to mean something. Where there was a kind of unspoken code they followed, yet they themselves weren’t heroes, nor necessarily good for anyone. Casual violance also attracted me as well, as being a naturally withdrawn, careful person in a fairly conservative enviroment who always longed to shout and punch her anger out rather than repressing it. It is in a sense a self-fulfillment fantasy, although none of the characters are similar to me lmfao.
3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person?
Liahn’s basic motivator is to perfect: others, her clan, the world and most harshly, herself. Nothing is good enough, nothing is just enough. She confronts everything and everyone to make her clan better. She firmly believes that mistakes equal failures. And failures are the warmbeds of incompetency. So she does everything to prove that notion wrong, and tries to fight her mother to change the clan, to make it better, safer, more just. She strives to perfect (reform) the system, make it so her people are not forced to risk their lives just to have a say in the clan’s future. In their future. Family bonds and romantic love are also key elements because Liahn’s idea of perfection does not include feelings. She may love her siblings, or the girl of her life, but she would never let herself admit it. She can’t. She’d die for them, and she want to reform for them, but she would rather sacrifice herself for the greater good than confront feelings. Feelings that cloud decisions and make every picture disordered, imperfect.
So, I mostly want to inspire people by her to soften their grip on the idea of perfection. To let themselves feel, and make mistakes without killing their own soul bit by bit. Be a little more gentle on themselves. To prove that perfection is found in imperfection. And that true harmony comes, when they can face that.
4. How many chapters is your story going to have?
I have only a rough estimation, but around 30.
5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?
Original content, althought it started as a fanfiction to my friend lmao. And I’m almost certain I won’t want to publish this. Maybe somewhere online one day, when other stuffs are finished. We’ll see. But I mostly write this to have something finally finished, so as the first book I will complete, I wouldn’t truly be comfortable sharing it with a big audience yet. Keeping it to myself and friends for now. (Trying to write it for myself haha)
6. When did you start writing?
The very first version of this story was created in 2021, which is wild. I got to 19 chapters before I completely re-plotted and re-outlined it, lol. Plus when I decided to not continue it as a fanfic. It also sat in the backburner for 2-3 years, before I picked it up again. Since then I re-plotted it again a few times, although not to the extent when I first did it. It’s in a fairly alright state right now, and I intend to write the whole thing through.
7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?
Write what you love, and write it because you love it. That’s the only single reason that matters and what I re-discover time after time. We all fall into the traps of the desire to please others, to listen to every external little voice and let ours hide in the back corner, quiet and forgotten. But it’s there, waiting for us to listen again. So sharpen your ears, and let it emerge. Listen to yourself, and let yourself love what you create. You can worry about what others will think, marketablity, wodcount, publishing, or simply just the accuracy of the content later. Have fun. Put all the silly weird shit in it. Go wild. Just do it and love it.
The talented, lovely bunch I follow, and aware that are writeblr (no pressure tagging, plus an open invitation for anyone who want to join): @bloodlessheirbyjacques, @barbex, @the-void-writes, @cee-grice, @did-i-do-this-write, @wildswrites, @indigowriting, @erensattacktitancock, @odysseywritings, @sodaliteskullwrites, @the-letterbox-archives, @thegoddesswater, @goldfinchwrites, @mthollowell-writes, @thewritingcoroner, @ryns-ramblings, @you-are-my-neverland, @astarlightmonbebe, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @mjparkerwriting, @asher-writes, @dyrewrites, @jgmartin, @inkingfireplace, @kainablue, @withlovelunette, @jadefyre, @muddshadow, @1legitconnor, @dogmomwrites, @italiangothicwriteblr, @jessica-writes22, @depressedenglishmajor, @magefaery, @moonscribbler, @circa-specturgia, @aohendo, @bebewrites, @maguayans, @keyboardandquill, @daughter-of-inklings, @friendlyneighborhood-writer, @author-a-holmes, @approximately20blorbos, @wip-nook, @kjscottwrites, @missryorinechan, @sleepyowlwrites
#authors ask tag#i do love seeing how differently people see my stories#and their experiences and feelings make it a real thing#someone said a book is not a book without being read#because the reader makes the book too#their interpretations and feelings etc#and i 100% agree#anyway yeah#thats why i just post stuff sometimes#and doesnt even try to think about what it means#but see what others think it means#for them#therefore making it into something meaningful we created together#also im pretty sure i used a hungarian euphemism in Liahns achievment part lmfao#the warmbeds of imcompetency??#oh well
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Hey, bean, would you mind sharing your thoughts on MK’s (semi-)sentient reflections? Very curious to know your thoughts on it 👀
YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY THEORIES??? Okay... Buckle UP!!!
So the first instance I can find of this is in revenge of the spider queen. Okay.. Let me first say that in hindsight.. this was obvious foreshadowing. The image we see here isn't that of Wukong, but most likey MK in his Monkey form. Take into account that the lighting makes it seem like MK's using his gold vision, which reveals a demon's true form... meaning the reflection is most likely Monkey MK.
Even more so, the trigram furnace was originally used to make the golden pills of immortality and separate the essence of a person into their true consciousness. Which sounds a lot like the furnace is splitting Mk into his true self and their "illusion" self. wink wink
SO THESE TWO ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON: Mirror Mk is more confident, he seems to have a better grasp on how to handle tough stituations, which the real MK is panicing and seems a bit naive.
Throughout his whole pep-talk with himself.. he seems disappointed in himself- barley making eye contact with the real mk. At least for the first part. Afterwords, Mirror mk becomes encouraging and helps Mk to seperate himself from Wukong.
The second I rememeber seeing Mk's reflection act seperatly from him is in Minor scale. The leading up to this episode is Wukong telling Mk to trust his guts, which are manifesting in these reflections. The reflections that are flat out warning him to stay away from the furnace and are once again on the furnace. Somehow, Mk's reflection seems to know more than him.
Personally, I think that these interactive reflections is Mk's Monkey form talking to him. Whether you believe it to be that Mk was seperated from his monkey form when he was recreated again (ancient demon theory) or that the Monkey form was seal away somehow in the first season, both work to show that the Monkey form might be more like a protective entity.
If you want to go even further, the relfection has the opposite coloring from the ink variation of Mk. Yellow and white vs the black and teal.
Ink Mk was a manifestion of Mk's insecuries, what he's bottled up inside and the uncertainty that he's never wanted to face. Ink Mk doesn't give real Mk any answers. Instead he gives him more questions that dance around the answers. The responces are muddy and conviluted. However, Mirror Mk means that he has to face those uncertainties which give him a clearer answer. Mirror Mk's answers are concise and tell him exactly what he needs to hear, but doesn't explain any more than that. Both have the goal of trying to help Mk understand, but due to their nature, they both have to go about it in very different ways.
#lego monkie kid#lmk#lmk mk#lmk s4 spoilers#I didn't even notice the foreshadowing until I started making this#lmk theory#lmk analysis#If you ever have more of these moments to add#I am... SO open to hearing them#or even if you have other thoughts#I am also not a Taoist and so my reference might be wrong
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About Yumei Hitsuji (Yuusona)
There is will trigger warning behind her usual personality, if you want to read it please read it at your own pace
I also want to brag more about her from time to time :3

About Yume(i)
Before the current events of Twisted Wonderland, Yume was appeared first as the main protagonist.
Magicless but is pretty a smart person in general.
They say without magic, everything is hopeless.
Is it now?
Magic can beat almost everything but that is just how people see it, minds and talents alike are the main reason why everyone is unique with magic. Magic doesn’t appear so easily, it appears when the person is passionate or talented for it.
But what about the magicless? Are they just here to be treated like shit?
In truth magicless people can perform other stuff in talents than magic, strategizing stuff or any of the sort increases or helps reduce the blot.
For Yume’s case serving as magicless human with only a magical camera and Grim its just a normal thing.
And yet the camera is special.
Much to Yume(i)’s surprise the photos from the previous cycles are still saved, it makes them like a timekeeper or something but only time can tell.
They are just normal humans nothing special.
Yume appears as silent yet positive.
Yumi appears as cheerful but hides a deeper pain.
They are both magicless and yet, being magicless isn’t all that bad.
Their story till the present
Everything would have gone well at this point, and Crowley was trying his best to give the exit to Yumi.
But….is it all there is to it?
It would have felt that her way to going home would be a massive waste of time, especially when there is no actually proof of what the actual world looks like? Everyone does have their hellos and goodbyes, but can they say a proper goodbye when there is more than meets the eyes?
The final current was the first appearance of Yume that was soon changed to be Yumi.
Knowing that everyone else would be confused as who Yume truly was, I guess it is her way of coping that her own brother is there for her at times like this (for a last resort). By simply taking his identity by rechanging her appearance from all of her expereince in potionology.
Anyone would have simply question it, but they soon forgot about it cause of the forced changed subject.
It felt pathetic for Yumi to not tell the whole truth.
Yumi soon took over Yume ever since Book 7, especially when Yume did lose to Malleus’ unexpected attack.
But after everything that happened especially in Book 8 where everyone is completely in denial of Yume(i) to go home the only thing they can do is to put them in a sleep even if its wrong but they are all villains in the end anyways.
But months has passed and everyone went from casual to….extreme worry real fast.
They need to see what is wrong with Yume(i).
Self-relfection Arc
Before the cycle breaking into place, Yumi did appear as a girl, but due to her original appearance of a massive messier appearance it is hard to tell who that person was.
Her past is pretty straight forward and yet simple. But only for the tip of the iceberg.
She had to cope, the reality is right in front of her.
Her older twin brother Yume died by a car accident in a heavy earthquake, but she was in a daze not knowing who or why did they kill him. Till everything hits on her…. Her own family killed him.
She overblotted because of that.
Despite having no magic there will be chances that no magic users can overblot, negative emotions can summon the blot itself and will infect the person till they are at their breaking point. She asked herself did she just repeat the 500 cycles of repeat just to realize that her efforts are all for nothing?
Life is so cruel and yet so beautiful in its own ways.
It terrifying even.
She never told a single soul about herself, why even bother when they just forget about it in repeat.
All she can do is wait till her chance to go home….aka the afterlife.
Perhaps a good rest from all the cycles of pain and suffering is all she needed, but she doesn’t even know when will she wakes up.
She is facing her on sin, her own reflection.
They won’t know her pain, they wont understand her.
All she needed from them was a good memory of them before everything comes to an end.
The truth
Is going home truly the right answer, all that is waiting for her is death itself and the afterlife.
She was born in an abusive household, Yume is her only comfort yet life took him away from her.
She had to cook, starve, suffer abuse and eat little. Appearance in her first cycle was a complete mess, hair a mess and ugly and purely skinny closer to a skeleton.
Before appearing in NRC she got herself to an accident from running away from the people who are trying to reach out to her, out of fear of being in a repeated nightmare again. She was scared, confused, and is often seen weak, and yet she knows what she is doing at the same time.
Predicting and analyzing the situation at hand and think fast before she decides on what to do.
Reads books daily till she realized that she can try other hobbies since she had the entire freedom to herself, but soon after the cycles had repeated again and again. But despite the pain she can still keep her appearance she soon has the upper idea to try other clubs to relish in the experience just experience if the words in the books are true or not.
But cooking is her massive passion, and BECAUSE she can cook her appearance went from skinny to a healthier one.
Thanks to acting and other types of talents she learns to adapt to a new persona.
Cheerful, annoying, sweet, and kind.
Keeping the smile despite all the pain, and yet she still went out of her way to comfort the boys especially those who also overblot.
It felt annoying at first but as time goes on she got used to them 100% and made sure they won’t ask her about her past.
If she actually was she just simple say it was a normal boring life as a lie.
One day in her Glorious Masqurade, she meet a man.
A total stranger who asked her for a dance and is unrecognizable by many people, yet she knew who he was. Accepting the dance she danced with him and had a normal yet deep conversation, she thought he was weird but giving the questions she got from him makes her wonder.
Is death truly the answer?
The real answer is no.
She didn’t realize till now before the cycle finally ended.
There are many opportunities that no one had ever told you, it is as tho she is tempted to reject the second chance but she can’t reject it but accept it.
Before she ask him what is her name, her throat is dry knowing who he is.
He is her incarnation.
She is the reincarnation of the puppet Executioner aka Exe.

Aftermath
Crowley had provided Yumi the way home, but deep down everyone knows that she is just going to die anyway and her home is the afterlife itself. So the possible solution for everyone is to let her live in Twisted Wonderland but had to complete her school year as a normal person.
Sure its never a good ending, but Yumi soon knows what to do.
Assert dominance in school and achieve even greater heights.
Especially explore the world with her tho it is entirely up to her.
She is still cheerful but not faking it
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if the person w/ crutches is walking faster than u in the hallway then u need to self relfect
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