#sel i love you but pls take notes

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

giggling kicking my feet🤭🤭

[sainzsiren]

ur social media au’s are sO GOOD i’m so invested👀 can you do a social media au with luke castellan x daughter of hades where she’s super into poetry (like edgar allen poe, etc)

"take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die"

luke castellan x daughterofhades!poet!reader

smau - luke is y/n's muse

🎧 - the lakes by taylor swift

a/n: omg tysm and thank you so much for requesting! i added a little gracie abrams (in this au the reader's poetry is gracie's lyrics) because her writing is super poetic but i still kept the poe! i hope you like this!

*swearing, not checked so there might be mistakes*

--------------------------------------------------------

liked by itslukecastellan, whosannabeth, and others

yn_yln writing about you 🤍

tagged itslukecastellan

view comments:

larueclarisse UR THE CUTEST

yn_yln LITERALLY YOU CLAR

larueclarisse AWEEEE

liked by author

itslukecastellan love you poe

yn_yln if its not obvious enough already i love you more

larueclarisse bro who tf calls their gf poe 💀

itslukecastellan what? her favorite poet is edgar allen poe

percy.jackson WOW youre invested in the dead aesthetic y/n

_groverunderwood PERCY

whosannabeth PERCY

larueclarisse wait thats really cute

whosannabeth THATS SO GOOD Y/N/N

yn_yln thank youuu 😊

percy.jackson really living up to the depressing hades aesthetic

yn_yln if you don't quit soon you'll be dead but not in an aesthetic way 🥰

percy.jackson noted

silenaaaa i love love and i love you

yn_yln ily sel

itslukecastellan oh so i make you nervous?

yn_yln shut up

silenaaa LUKE THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS APP

rachel.edare pls write my wedding vows when i get married

yn_yln ofc

_groverunderwood watching you try and get the perfect library pic was so funny 💀

yn_yln shut up

percy.jackson HAHAHAHAHA

iamchrisrodriguez @itslukecastellan i dont think you understand how lucky you are man

larueclarisse you've put yourself on thin ice

itslukecastellan trust me i do

whosannabeth chris i know what you were going for but this was not smart

iamchrisrodriguez i know that now

liked by yn_yln, _groverunderwood, and others

itslukecastellan does your girl write poetry about you? didnt think so.

tagged yn_yln

view comments:

_groverunderwood ok this is sickeningly adorable

itslukecastellan thanks bro

yn_yln my muse 🤍

itslukecastellan 😍

larueclarisse hes giggling and blushing rn

yn_yln fr?

whosannabeth can confirm

itslukecastellan leave me alone

yn_yln NEVER MUAHAHAH

iamchrisrodriguez @larueclarisse am i ur muse?

larueclarisse uh

itslukecastellan lmao

larueclarisse y/n quit doing adorable shit for luke chris is getting mad

yn_yln sorryyyyyy

whosannabeth edgar allen poe who?

yn_yln HIGHEST COMPLIMENT

itslukecastellan except shes hot too

percy.jackson good job luke a girl isnt repulsed by you

itslukecastellan stfu

whosannabeth HAHAHA

silenaaa have i mentioned that i love love?

itslukecastellan yes

yn_yln yes

rachel.edare SO CUTE

itslukecastellan i know she is

yn_yln's story

view reply from percy.jackson:

percy.jackson ENOUGH WE GET IT UR AESTHETIC IS DEAD DEPRESSION

yn_yln i'm going to kill you in your sleep (aesthetically ofc)

view reply from itslukecastellan:

itslukecastellan you make me insane

yn_yln good

view reply from larueclarisse:

larueclarisse AWEEE

larueclarisse also stop chris is on my ass rn about doing cute stuff

yn_yln just tell him a song that makes you think of him and he'll stfu

larueclarisse what song 💀

yn_yln literally any love song

larueclarisse meh

[stylinsoncity]

Hiiii! I know it’s been a while but first! I want to just confirm that I’m definitely alive and well! I’m also back with a new fic, which you might have already seen if you’re subscribed on ao3.

‘Hard times in elmsmere’ is the vampire/witch time travel au I mentioned a while ago and it is now published in its entirety. I hope you enjoy it!

I also want to talk candidly about where I am re: fic writing in general. I’ve been feeling distant for months as I try to focus on my own personal writing and other interests, hence the long hiatus. I hoped that some time away would kind of reboot that part of my brain. But tbh the opposite has happened.

I will absolutely be finishing penn park and an update is coming very soon. by next week, i believe. i also have one more chapter I want to post for notes on oxford and then I’ll likely mark that as completed. i’m not sure what to do with ‘till the end of time’ so I’ll just leave that open for now. but I think by the end of the year, assuming I’ve added one or two more chapters, i’ll likely mark that completed as well. I do still want to publish caya…and once I finish my WIPs, I think I can get back to editing it bit by bit. I’d also love for SEL to be published one day too, but that seems a little out of reach right now.

I really wish I could clone myself and devote my clone to the task of writing all the fics I’ve ever thought about. But sadly it’s just me! D: 

the bottom line is I won’t really be online anymore and the rate I’m able to update my fics will be really slow. I closed my inbox bc I didn’t want asks piling up or for anyone to feel ignored. my messages are still open for now though so if you need to contact me, pls do. but it may take me a while to respond.

since I’ll be away indefinitely and unable to provide permission, i would really appreciate it if my fics were no longer printed or reproduced in any way, this includes translations or reposting.

lastly, I just want to say thank you very very much for the support! it means so much more than i can even express right now. i've enjoyed all the conversations i've had here and all the love that's been shared. this is not quite a goodbye. there are still lots of great chapters to come. But for now I just want to say thank you for understanding and ily!

[seiwas]

hi sel! can I request 21 and 24 for the ask game? super curious because my other favorite part of your writing is seeing people go feral in the notes lol

iris!!! thank you for sending in 🥹

send me a number from this end of the year fanfic writer ask game!!

#21. most memorable comment/review

omg 🥺 YOUR favourite part of MY writing is seeing the notes??? 😭😭 i am gonna hug you PLS

i think i have been so extremely blessed with such generous readers 🥺 i reblog every memorable comment/review with the tag #shotorus.feedback if you would like to peruse!!! 🥹 but hmm... i'll put this under the cut bc for sure it's going to be long!!

#24. favorite some memorable fics you read this year

i answered this here! but 😼 this just gives me a reason to give ANOTHER set of fics hehehehe 😋 beware!!!! this'll be 15 total recs hehe

and!!! like i mentioned, i have a lot in my tbr so there are a lot i probs haven't gotten to yet + the fics i reblog are more or less ones i recommend anyway!!! 🥹 (will also put this under the cut)

for #21.

niku's and sera's reblogs on 'do you believe in love?' really tickle a spot in my heart!!

niku's because back then, col wasn't even a thing yet!! 'do you believe in love?' was just a silly little one-shot born from me thinking about whether gojo believes in love. in a way, this rlly inspired me to take the story further!! and so col was born 🥺 so really, col is all thanks to @stellamancer 🥺

sera's because sera's gojo is one of my absolute favourites and i've been reading her stuff since way way waaaay before i even started writing!! she's also one of my first moots, and is such an inspiration to me when it comes to writing 🥺 so seeing her comment on this lil fic of mine rlly made me feel so 🥹🥹🥹

midi's reblogs are always hilarious and she takes apart my fics like she's deboning a fish 😭😭 (this is how we became friends!!! i messaged her to thank her for her tags on my earlier works and it was even in her native language ashfbas so i google translated it to understand 😭)

ari's reblog on 'tell me about love (show me how)' had me sobbing last night omg 😭 i swear we're writing NOVELS for each other atp

+ a writer i really love and admire commented so many nice things on my megumi fic the other day, i'm still not over it (i won't link them here bc i don't wanna be exposed LOL)

but!! i am truly!! so thankful for each tag/comment i receive 🥺 i think it's so nice that people are not only taking the time to read, but also taking the time to write smth about how they feel or what they think 🥺

for #24.

hq!!

stoplights by hajimio (iwaizumi hajime x reader) [1k. established relationship.] i think about this fic all the time and remember so vividly how i felt the first time i read it.

no matter what by shibaraki (miya atsumu x reader) [1k. established relationship hurt/comfort.] teared up a little reading this 🥹 clutched my chest too.

a piece of you with me by heich0e (kageyama tobio x reader) [1k. established relationship.] this was the cutest thing and i love how op writes tobio.

jjk

dancing with your ghost by wanderwithme (nanami kento x reader) [9k. kind of exes to lovers.] the concept is so good and so creative. executed so beautifully and achingly.

cantor's paradox by hawnks (gojo satoru x reader) [3k. ambiguous relationship.] one of my favourite gojo fics ever; i reread this all the time.

dawn instinct by lorelune (gojo satoru x reader) [6k. ambiguous relationship.] so tender and raw. really beautiful 🥺

i could fall asleep or stare in your eyes (you’re right by my side) by seoafin (gojo satoru x reader) [2k. ambiguous relationship.] the dialogue hits heavy and there's so much in the unsaid (i am crying).

in between by threadbaresweater (fushiguro megumi x reader) [3k. friends with benefits.] so tender and raw (2). there's such an ache and i love how megumi was portrayed.

the king is but a man by petrichorium (gojo satoru x reader) [series. usurper!gojo] one of my favourite gojo series!

cruel summer by seravphs (gojo satoru x reader) [collection. friends to lovers.] explores dynamics with other characters so wonderfully and really does give off that 'last summer with friends' feeling

bnha

carve it into the soil, carve it into me by gardenofnoah (todoroki shouto x reader) [series. gardener!reader.] puts shouto under a microscope and i love that. so beautifully written.

couldn't utter my love when it counted by c4ssiopeias (bakugo katsuki x reader) [5k. exes to lovers.] so vulnerable and so raw. cried reading this.

it takes a strong hand, and a sound mind by gardenofnoah (bakugo katsuki x reader) [5k. friends to strangers to lovers.] the pacing is beautiful and the there's smth abt it that's just so tender 🥺

on my way (to you) by ofmermaids (bakugo katsuki x reader) [12k. strangers to lovers.] one of my favourite bakugo pieces; i think about it all the time and is such a creative concept executed perfectly too.

you feel like home (you're like a dream come true) by willowser (bakugo katsuki x reader) [3k. ambiguous relationship.] the dialogue is everything omg. i ached so much at this!!!

[strawberrystepmom]

kendall darling!!! i just saw your tags on ‘so this is what it means to be in love’ and want to hug you!!!! and thank you so much!!! for taking the time to read it, to leave such lovely notes on it, to call the entire collection beautiful 🥹 it’s such a big compliment coming from you!!!! satoru’s queen!!!

the way you said it was natural and realistic to the point of it being moving aaaaah I’M MOVED by YOU 😭 to call me talented and compliment my characterization of him, i’m really just— AAAAAAH thank you so so so so much, it really means a lot 🥹😭❣️

sending you all my love and hugs!!!!

sel you are always so thoughtful!! pls know I mean everything I say about how talented of a writer you are and that I’m grateful we get to read each others works and talk about them and scream and cry and enjoy 💖💖💖 have a good weekend

[miracleboylene]

OMG I FORGOT I GOT TAGGED I'M SORRY AND THANK U @veroinfaciem

let's begin!!!!!

favorite color: purple purple PURPLE specifically the shade periwinkle which I know technically is more on the blue side than the purple side but let's leave out technicalities and OH fun fact the room in the hospital I was born in was painted purple so government assigned favourite color fr

last song: starburned and unkissed by Caroline Polachek<3<3<3 love her love the song love the latest album lovelovelove

currently reading: (i should) the god forsaken notes for the medieval art exam I still have to take (get me out of my misery pls)

currently watching: The Way of the Househusband because I needed to hear Kenjiro Tsuda's voice once again but without the angst

current craving: spicy salmon nigiri save me...save me save me salmon I would eat salmon everyday of my life and I was sooo delighted to read that salmon apparently is good for my fibromyalgia, another win for Sel

coffee or tea?: not to be the southern italian stereotype but coffee, preferably one in the morning (with some milk in it) and one in the afternoon (frozen during summer or with gelato in it)

Sooooo now I should be tagging people but unfortunately I have veeery few interactions here on tumblr which I would like to change bc I want mutuals:( so i'm tagging @gendervapor14 and @dottedsilktie and mayhaps @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat of course feel free to not do it!!!! and if you see this on your tl and you want to partecipate feel free to!!!!

I was tagged by @hoppkorv Hey thank you for tagging me!! 😊

Rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with .

favorite color: Green!

last song: Wanted For Love by Jerry Jeff Walker

currently reading: Song of Susannah by Stephen King (almost done with the Dark Tower series!)

currently watching: I haven't really been watching a lot of shows lately mostly just stuff on youtube and random episodes of Seinfeld. The last full series I watched was The Sopranos and I'm literally already thinking about a rewatch.

currently craving: A deeper connection with the people and world around me. Or something idk.

coffee or tea: I enjoy tea but I'm obsessed with coffee.

Tagging @carmichaelthepolarbear @brian-mays-hair @warrenzevon @someguywriting @tantamount-treason @ninetimesbluedemo @bluehairandproverbs @fr0ggi3b0i (if you'd like to do this!)

[aristarshower]

Cosmere update???

alright y’all might remember that at some point this year i read stormlight archive and when i tried to understand Hoid better I got into Cosmere(I made one post abt it so I don’t expect anyone to remember it lmao! Also pls ignore that post it was more self deprecating than I would like!) 

Anyway, I am finally done with reading all the books and I am slowly making my way through coppermind and wobs and there’s so much here!!!!!!!!!

I read everything in the wrong order and I knew nothing about Adonalsium or the shards for the entirety of my stormlight read so I made some very wrong assumptions lmao. I’m gonna put everything here cause I feel like it and I also know no one else who’s read the books to discuss this with.

(Disclaimer:It’s 1 am and I’m amped up on painkillers and I know very little compared to all the overwhelming data in this fandom. I didn’t even know what RAFO or WOB meant until day before yesterday.)

The rest of the garbage is under the cut.

Sel:

I could not find an answer to this anywhere? So hopefully someone here knows? Whose voice talked to Raoden in the perpendicularity when he went Hoed??? Was it devotion or like a shadow/splinter???

Are people from Ire the same generation as Elantris era? 

Is there a connection between Iri and Ire??? I actually mistook Ire for Iri in secret history and got confused for a bit lmao.

Nalthis:

What happens if someone from Nalthis gives their breath to someone from other planets? No one can take breath but you can just give it? Will it stick just as well???

I did not Vasher or Vienna when I read SA and I didn’t make the connection after I read warbreaker either. That was a big coppermind surprise. I need to reread sa so forgive me if I make mistakes.

I’m guessing Lightsong saw the sequel in the painting but is it possible for him to see Roshar? 

We know Nightblood sucks in investiture(?) it seems easier on Nalthis or Roshar but how would that work on Scadrial or Sel or Threnody or Taldain??? Will it just eat the mists? Turn the sand black? Hurt the shades? 

Can Nightblood be used in hemalurgy as a spike? What metal is it made of? Does the type of the metal affect the way breath sticks to it(other than aluminium)? Where does the investiture go? 

Can you bring the dead back by giving them Returned breath? (Not as a lifeless) Also can one Returned give breath to another Returned dead to bring them back? Can dead Returned be turned into lifeless??? Can a Returned’s breath be stolen using hemalurgy? How would hemalurgy even work on breath?

What will Hoid do if he ever gets his hands on Nightblood?

Scadrial:

Did Hoid use a lifeless to paddle through the preservation’s perpendicularity in Secret History? It looked like he awakened something???

Did Kelsier pin his cognitive shadow to a body? Whose body did he use? Is he using single spike to keep Harmony out? Is he now like a Returned? Is he still mistborn?

Is Ironeyes a fullborn now?

Can nicrosil store all types of investiture? Can Scadrians use the bands to access other investitures?

Can we alloy godmetals? Like Lersium and Atium make Ettmetal??? But what if we combine Lerasium with some other godmetal? Like honorblades(those are honor’s body right?)? 

Can someone ascend by burning a lot of Atium or Lerasium? 

Can Kandra burn Lerasium? Will they become mistborn if they do? What about mistwraiths?

What happens if Koloss burn Lerasium?

Is it weird that when I read Ettmetal can’t be burnt cause it explodes with water, I thought ‘ooh sandlings can eat it then!’?

First of the sun:

I really really want a book on this planet!!!! 

Whose perpendicularity is on First of the sun??? I can only think of Odium tbh. He can see the future. He can get into people’s head(a bit like ruin but we know where ruin is???). Do we know where Odium’s perpendicularity is? Is it on Braize or Roshar? It could be small cause he is so far off.

I also wondered if this could be Hoid’s secret base? He did gather investiture for some reason? Maybe concentrating that on this planet caused a tiny perpendicularity? Can perpendicularities exist without full shards? It would also explain the weird powers???

Taldain:

When will we get full Khriss backstory????????????? I love her.

Threnody:

How did Nazh get off the planet?

 Is Evil a shadow/splinter of Odium or Ambition? I thought the shades were Ambition’s but the Evil is Odium’s. Or maybe Ambition is still alive(the power not the person?) 

What does Aluminium do to shades? 

Roshar:

I’m love Roshar!!!!!!!! Best world!!! The whole world is crabs stacked on each other!!!!!!

So Roshar seems like the closest to Yolen for me??? In one of the wobs brandon said there are tiny sentient dragons on yolen(correct me if I’m wrong) and that there are three sentient races, dragons are one, humans are two and the only other sentient race we’ve seen so far are Parshendi? This is assuming that Cosmere does not have races other than what was on yolen.

Are Sleepless dragons or maybe a type of dragons? Is that what frost meant when they said they observe? 

On a related note, what the hell happened to Aimia?

City of shadows-shadows like shades?

Ok so when I first read sa I didn’t know abt shards so I assumed there were three gods Unity, Honor and Cultivation. Odium killed Unity first and then came for Honor(I actually assumed odium honor and cultivation killed unity first??? something abt the reaction odium gave when dalinar ascended??? I’ll find the quote that set me off someday). The sibling is Unity’s shadow like stormfather or nightwatcher. Now I know Dalinar probably changed the shard name to Unity when he ascended like Harmony did?(I am still very confused. I’m hoping a reread will make this clear.)

Is Cultivation the shard from silent divine? The whole disease for power sounds like a boon and curse???

Which other god did humans have before Odium chased them over to Roshar? Odium was going exclusively for shards? Did cultivation come over from another planet in the same system and brought humans with her??? coppermind says honor and cultivation settled on Roshar so was there a third shard? Is that shard related to the sibling?

Is Cusicesh the sibling? I only have the pronouns to go on for this? Stormfather used they and Cusicesh was said to have both male and female faces?

So spren freeze when recorded? Does that mean once their cognitive aspect is fixed they also become fixed? Is that what happened to Cusicesh? It was recorded that they appear the same way in the same place and that just happened?

(Why am I so fucking obsessed with this one damn spren?)

I also want more about Axies and Aimia in general??? Can the Iriali or the Aimians (Sian? non sleepless ones) become knights radiant?

Can parshendi bond with the unmade? 

Is there a parshendi shard? Are they all human?

Is kalak shin???(He looks like a child?) (According to a quiz I took, I am a WillShaper!!!)

I wanna know more about Willshapers!!!!!!!

Why does one of the heralds have horns????????or is that just a helmet and im an idiot?

Was Jazrien tanavast at some point???(I know a shardholder can survive a splintering!)

Did Odium make Hoid averse to hurting people? Like the shard on Obrodoi is instilled with hate for Hoid? Can Odium instill a intense hatred of harm in Hoid? Is that what pissed Hoid off or Odium did it cause Hoid was pissed off???

So the waters especially rivers and oceans are one continuous bead because they think of themselves as a whole? So what if we get enough soulcasters? Can we turn the whole of them into something else? 

How did Nazh get Shallan’s notes from the ocean? What happens when things sink into the ocean in cognitive realm? Do their beads become a part of the big ocean one or they just lie on the surface?(Does this make sense?)

If origin is honor’s perpendicularity then how did dalinar open it? Like can one shard have two perpendicularities?

What are dawnshard? did vyre kill jazrien with a dawnshard? could they be cultivations body???

Was honor splintered on shattered planes? or city of shadows????? Or aimia???

Are the major human cities so symmetrical cause they are landing spots for the space ships??? After so many years of crem the ship should just look like windblades???

Did eshonai die cause she bonded a spren and her plate and shardblade started screaming and she got overpowered in the highstorm???

Renarin and Lift can heal people together now???

Stormlight looks like breath in cognitive realm? What does mist looks like???????

Cosmere:

Is it possible to become savant on other types of investiture?

Can Adonalsium see future? Did Adonalsium choose to get shattered? Could Adonalsium have influenced Hoid to do what he does like preservation and his plan? Is there a threat to cosmere from outside(all i can think of is another galaxy crashing into it?)? Was the holder of Adonalsium killed?

So one big theme of Cosmere is rebirth so is Adonalsium gonna be born again?

What is the scar constellation? The tear also nags at me for some reason???

Who is Senna???(Preservation mentions them once??????)

[informedinterest]

MCSM - a more Real..

Author’s Notes;

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   ,

   ”

  “Besides

     don’t

      you

    al

    ready

     hav

     e

   tha

      t

   c

   op

    y,

    ,“

 “Yeah

   but

    it’s

    a  

 go

  od

re

 a

 d

 ,

 ”

“Besides

it’s different from the

traveling

edition

   ,”

“Trav

 el

  i

  n

  g

edi

t

io

 n,”

 ,

Axel

sniffed

 ,

Lukas,

“C’mon

  five

  min

  utes don’t want to be

  late,”

 “Con

  v

  en

  t

   io

   n

   s

   ,”

   On

    groun

     d

    Jesse

       get

        t

        in

        g

       hi

       s

      pe

      t

      boar

     Reube

      n,

       for

       th

       e

       trek

       To

      be greeted by what seem

    e

    d  

      like 2 million Quest’N

     ‘answers

                posters

        with Gabriel‘s

            face

          posted

             on

              it,

          “This

              is

             th

             e

           bes

            t day

           of

            m

            y

            lif

            e,”

           While the others were there to roll

         the

             i

             r

           eyes

            except Lukas

            “leave

               it

              be,

               “

            “If it was anyone else

              -

           I’d have to

          carry them off the

          floor

           to,”

            ,”

           A

        “riv

         al

          ,”

       Te

        a

       m,

     Cordial

     en

       ough

      wit

      h

     Luk

     as

   “Tell

    Ethan

        I

      said

     hell

      o,

        “

     Not so much

      with

       th

       e

      rest of

     them

     “Our

   Invention

       Is

     Goi

        ng

         to

         be

       Grea

          t,

          ”

        “Our

          s

         wil

          l

          be

         great

           er,”

           “What

              got

                in

                 to

                 th

                 e

                 m,

                  “

                  ,

             “Ivor

             fan boys

                 ,”

               Axel

               Shrug

    ged,

“Oh

speak

  of

 the

Devil,

You might have some company as

 Ivor

  fan

 club

 le

 a

d

 e

 r,

Pet

 r

 a

  ,”

 “oh,

 The

  m

 agai

 n,

 ”

“Wh

 o

Cou

 ld

 n

 ’t

 al

  l

 t

 h

 e

books

 he’

 s

Written

abou

  t

 po-,”

 Fad

 in

 g

Into

com

fort

able

not

hing

As they made it to the

 bu

 i

 ld

zon

 e

And

 Olivia

  start

   e

   d

  draw

   in

   g

  u

  p

 sta

  t

 istics,

  for

  th

  e

 build

So you wouldn’t mind

  coming with me

 and

  helping me

   find him,

    would

      you

    Jess

     e,“

    ,

 “Um,

   Ye

   ah,

  Su

   re,

   We

  should

     be

   done

  here

  right,

 Lukas

    “

 Jesse

 yelle

  d

 u

 p

t

o

Lukus

 Who

  gave

  hi

  m

  a

thu

 mbs

  u

  p,

 And away about

 Olivia who is staying behind to talk to some

   planners

“So what’s up with this

   Ivor

   guy

  a

  gain

    , ”

  I th

 “I’ve

 always

  be

   en

  m

  o

  r

  e

 in

ter

es

t

e

d

i

n

Ma

g

n

u

s,

I mean all the

scientific

 . .

stuff,

Realiz

   in

   g

  he

 had

 inter

  ru

  p

  t

  e

 d

  ,

  ”

Slyily

smili

 ng,

“Iv

 or

 is

 a

kno

wn

 st

 u

 d

  i

 e

 r

 of

plant

 s

 an

 d

the

 ir

essence

    ,

    “

   “An

apothecary,”

   “Not

   Quite

      ,-“

   “Huh

      I’d

    though

      t

     we

       ’

      d

     m

      e

      et

     h

      i

     m

      h

      e

      r

      e,”

   “Let

    me

    go

  chec

    k

   “Jesse

     stay

    here,”

    Please

    “ what

       are

       you

      doin

       g

      her

      e?

      “

    Iriat

     te

     d,

   “Mr.

   Ivor

   sir,

    I

  was

 hoping

  to

 give

 this

  to

 you

 be

 fore

the

sho

w,”

“Yes,

Yes-

Actual

  ly

glancing

  at

 th

 e

thin

 g

Mouth

 agape

 at

 th

 e

“Withe

  r

 Skul

  l,”

She

he

 ld

 in

h

 e

 r

h

a

n

d

s,

“ This

    is

..perfect,

   thank

    you,”

  “Hel

    p

   your

   sel

    f

   to

   t

   h

   e

  di

   a

  monds

    in

   th

   e

 ches

   t

 o

 ve

  r

ther

   e,

   “

“Sir,

 thes

  e

  aren’t

 diamonds,

   these

    are

 moissanite,

     .”

 “Maybe

     we

    should

     te

      l

       l

     hi

     m

    “Wh

       y,”

    “Because

       thes

          e

       migh

          t

         b

         e

      im

      por

        t

       an

        t

        t

        o

       h

        i

       m,

        ”

       “Don’t

        wanna

        mess up the

        show,”

          ,

       Petra

          &

      Jess

       e,

     Mak

       in

       g

       it’

     ba

       c

       k,

      an

       d

    Me

      e

      t

      in

      g

    A

     xl

      e

     the

      re,

     “ Axel

       wha

         t

       ar

        e

       yo

        u

       doi

        n

        g

      h

      e

       r

      e

       ,

       ”

       “Oh hey,”

       Munching on

         a bowl

          of

        pret

         ze

           l

           s

       “guys,

       Gabriel

         stop

         pe

        d

         by

        our

        buil

        d,

       sai

      d

       it

     was

    “Clas

     s,

     and

    gav

      e

     me

   “this

      ,

    [Sev

      eral chains with the words

       “back

         stage

        pas

         s

         e

         s,

         ” etc

         hed

          on

         th

         e

          m

         ,”

        “ Luk

           as

         wen

          t

          t

          o

         giv

         e

        yo

        u

      you

        r

        s

      J

     ess

       e,”

    “Gill

       is

     geek

       in

       g

     Out

    over

  Ga

   briel,

  Olivia’s

    tal

    kin

    g with some

    Pl

     an

      n

     e

     r

     s

     ,-

    “

   “Oh

    hey

   Petr

    a,

   I requested

    one

     for

     you,

    Though don’t think you need it since you’re a

    distributor

    an

    d

   al

    l,

   ,”

 Petra

  smil

    in

    g,

   sly

    ily

   tak

     in

     g

   ou

    t

   he

    r

“dis

 trib

  u

 tor,

  ”

 tag,

“Anywa

     y

  we

   can

   ’t

    sto

    p

     t

     o

      tal

     k

     no

     w

    a

     x

     l

     e,

     “

 “Hav

    e

   t

   o

  r

  e

 tur

  n

som

  e

th

  i

 n

 g

 to

 on

  e

  o

  f

 th

 e

guest

 s

 ,

 ”

 ,

“That

woul

 d

  be

 his

Room

,”

 Jesse asked quickly as Petra lightly pushed him forward (from be

   hind,

   as he slid on

     ward

      s,

       “Yeah, t

         ‘The door clicked

        sh

         u

          t behind

         th

         e

         m,

        A flight o

         f

       stai

        r

       s ,

     “Well,

       this

        is,

      ambitious

           ,

           “

        “Are you

         kidding

       having to build

          stairs

      all the way down in

         ice,”

         ,

        “ I had no idea that Ivor was such a

           builder

            architect

            ,

            ”

        “ It’s a shame it’s so

         Dark in here,”

        light

           ing up a

          light,

           As they made it through what

         see

         med to be

        big

        book

        shelves

         ,

        The li

       ghts

      flick

       ed

       on

     sud

     den

     ly

    Jesse  

   gras

    ping a

   han

   d

   on

  her

   mouth

  (For no

   part

   icular

   re

   a

   s

   o

   n

    ,

“ Nice

    to

   see

    me

   again,

     no,

     no,

      “

    ‘B

     e

      en

      a

      lon

     g

     tim

      e,’

      ,no”

      “FI

       nally

       out

       of your

      sh-“

       “Mr.

        Ivor,

         sir,

          “

      “Aagh,”

          ,

        Petra

        pe

         eping into the

        dar

        k

        nes

        s, of the

      di

      m,

        ly

        li

        t,

     dun

      g

      eo  

      n,

     “I’m

      her

       e

      to ask you about the

     dia

       Pe-

     moissan

       it

       e,

       yo

        u,

       gav

         e,

        me

             ,”

            -

        “It’s

          ,

          ”

       “Get

        Out

         ,”

       “But-“

      “Get out before I call

           security,”

           ,

          Petra

         Slink

          e

          d,

       Jesse

      follow

         ing

       quietly

       after

          ,

       “Well

        at least

        we got

        our

        an

        sw

        er.

         Come’ on let’s go join the

        others

         before the

           show

           st

            arts,

          “Jesse,

            I was lo

            ok

             in

             g

            all

           over

            for

            you,

             -“

          Lukas

          “Axel

         already

          ,told

            us

             ,

          ”Course

  he

 did,”

gruff

   ly,

  just

   as

  pana

   l,

Ivor

  “Finally out of the dark

 nes

   s of

  your

shadow

  ,”

“Now how about

            a real monster

and we’ll see how we measure up

   .”

“Ivor,

 th

   is

 really

  isn’t

  th

   e

  plac

   e,

   -

  or

  th

  e

  tim-

    ,

    “

   A

Compartment

 Reveal

   in

   g

   th

   e

Components

  for

   a

Wither

   ,

 Ivo

  r

 ad

 d

 i

 n

 g

 th

  e

 last

  par

  t,

   a

 “Wither

  Skull,”

    the

   Withe

      r

     Skul

      l ,

      th

      e

      On

       e

     Petra

        -

      The audience burst into applause as it st

      arted

    mo

      v

      in

      g believing it to be part of the

   show,

    Gabriel,

       tak

        in

        g

       out

         a

       wooden

        sword

        The

      Crowd

      Disperse

      as the

      Wither

      start

        e

        d

     at

      tack

       ing

     th

     e

     m,

   “Ivor

      That’s

    Eno

      ugh,

      Turn

       this

      thing

       of

        f,

     Lukas

   Confronted

     “Oh,

      I will

    One o’

     Soren,

      Once,

        hey

         it’s

         not

        work

         in

         g,

         Ivor pressing the button panicking

        ly,

      “Hey, guys

     what’s going

           on,

             “

          Axel

            joi

            ni

            n

            g

         th

          e

          m,

        at the cleared out

        con

        vent

         i

        on,

      “Ivor’s

       gon

       e

       Off

       the

      Wal

      l

     s

     And

   made an invention trying to

    kill

   every

    one,”

    Gill

   repli

   “Co

      ol

       ,”

    “ an

      d

     destroy,”

     “ Why won’t

       this

     stupid

      wire,”

      “Hm,

       Wire

         ,”

      “Axel

          ,”

       Oli

         v

         i

        a,

      “ I mean there was a

        wire on

        the

       table,”

       “Axel,

        what

        hap

         pen

           e

          d

          t

           o

          t

          h

           e

          w

          ir

           e,

       “Well,”

         Axel

        flush

         ing,

        “I um

         I

          took

           it,”

         “AXEL!!”

         “What they did say take

        whatever

         you

        wa

         nt

          ,

         ”

  “Wher

     e

     is-

     it-

     I used it to add

       another light display to the

            statue

            c-

            thing,

            “Well you

             might

  want

to get it

 now,”

Backing away from the

destruction

 on

  stage that seem to get

 eve

   r

 clos

  e

   r

    Stepping

      ove

       r the

   woo

   den

   sw

   ord

   The

  remote

   next

 dis

 regar

 d

   ed

   i

   n

frustration

  As they were driven back to the

 statue

  cr,

“Got

   it

   ,“

 “Hand

      it

    Gill

      ,

      ”

    Gil

       l

     Pas

      sin

      g

      i

      t

     to

    wh

     o

    gave

      to

   Jess

    e

   who

  Brok

   e

   it

 dow

 n,

   whil

   e,

   Olivia

   whisper

    ed

  instructions on how to

   put it

    together to Aiden

   Whil

    e

   Axel

      +

   Olivia

    play

     ed

   dis

   trac

   t

    io

     n

    “Done,”

      Tos

      s

      ed

      up

       to

     Lukas,

      Who

      went

        to

     pres

      s

       th

       e

    but

     to

     n,

   Only for

   Ivor to

   sn

   atch it out of his hand and do the

  Honor,

   And,

    It

 Didn’t

  wo

    r

    k,

  “So

 Losers

     ,”

    A

 Leather

 Jacket

  Rush

   e

   d

   by,

  “ Ethan,

       if

     you’re

      not

     goin

      g

      t

      o

      b

      e

    hel

     p

    fu

    l-

   ,”

Lukas

           snapped

             but they were already

      long

        gone,

        Trail

         ing

        afte

         r

        the

        m

        To the

      Edge,

     Ivor

    hauling

    Gabriel’s

  unconscious

     form,

  “I

    want

     e

    d

 to see him

   humiliated not

 dead

    ,”

  Gabriel

   stirrin

    g by the

  Edge,

Talkin

g

  to

 “Gill,

  you

  need

     to

    tak

     e

    t

    h

     i

    s

 emble

  m,”

Tak

  in

  g

  it

 ou

  t

  of

 his

coat

  ,

 “Fin

 d

  th

  e

 other

  s

   -

   ,

   ”

  Pas

  sing

   Ou

     t,

   And

    Gil

      l

    Run

     n

   ing off in the opposite direction with the

 wheel,

   It’s flashing a

    slight blue at Gill’

             s

             tou

            ch

           Befor

            e

            a

           brow

            n

          dot,

           around

          th

          e

        ri

       m,

      Mak

       ing a small

    streak

    pa

     t

     h,

     ,

    Shifting with the

  users

   stance to point in a

   certain

 dir

  ec

  t

  io

  n

Tak

 in

 g

Of

 f

Af

te

r

it

A

Broken

 Crate

 r

Wi

 t

  h

 h

  i

  m

  a

   s

   K

    i

    n

    g

    ,

    It was

   nearly

   im

   po

   s

  sib

   le

   to

 m

  a

   k

   e

   it

   t

    o

   h

    i

   m,

“Mag

    nus,

Ga

  bri

   el

 Sen

   t

   Us,”

 “ Gabriel

     huh,”

    Magnus

     hol

     ding up the

      tr

       in

      ke

       t,

     Before

        throwing him down the pile

          he’

           d

          jus

            t

         struggle

           d

           t

          o

        cli

          m

          b,

         On

         top of

         Gil

            l

        Who’d

         bee

         n

       s

        u

       p

         por

      t

       in

        g

       hi

      m

  “This.

      is

   point

    les

     s.”

   “He

      ’s

  Insane,”

    Jess

      e

  Admit

     t

    ed

 dejected

    ly,

  Shar

    in

    g

    a

   lo

   ok

   wit

   h

 Axe

  L

  ,

“Then

  we

sh

 ould

 mo

  ve

  onto

   the

   nex

    t

    one-,”

    Axel

   shook

     his

    head,

   “ We

    need

      to get

     this

    done,

    We’re

    stay

     in

     g

   he

     r

    e

   go

    on

   ah

   e

   a

  d

  ,”

Lukas

Speech

 less,

Before

Going

 On

ahead,

Aidan

 Wi

 t

  h

 h

  i

 m,

“Hm,

 Of

course

  I’ll

  go

 with

 you,”

Eligard

   far

 mor

 e

Co Operative,

 Soren

    “I

 should

   stay

    out

     he

     re,”

    Whe

     n

   The

    y

  got

   to

Soren’s

 hous

  e,

 “Soren and I .. didn’t leave things off

too

 go od

  last time

   I- we

   spoke”

     ,

   “It

 would

    be

 better

     if

  you

  go,

Soren, not so much..

.

   Having

    taking

       to

      knit

      ting

        a

       lot,

      And

  docu

  ment

    ing his

   rare

    animal

     fin

      dings

      Not p

       l

       ease

       d

       to be distur

       b

       ed

        b

        y

       t

       h

       e

       m,

     How

      eve

        r very excited to see

     Reuben,

       Jess

         e

          ’s

          pe

           t

           pi

           g,

          “Animal

           s,

             lovely

          creatures

              ,

             Don’t

             betray you

             and take your

             th

              ings

               ,

              I’ve seen

                 a few

               of course

             - but to see it

                   bonded

                     with

           a

       human,

           ,

         You

         must

          tell

          me

          the

          tale,

          Sitting with

          Soren

           and having

            tea

            I found

            Reuben

             (That

            ’s his

             name)

                           at the

                           place

  we

 built

 our

                       treehouse,

   ”

While

 So

 ren

                           knit

          Re

            ub

            en

             a

            ti

           ny,

        Sw

          ea

         te

          r,

        “Now

          back

            to

            the

           point,

             we

            could

             reall

              y

              use-

            appreci

               ate-

                ,“

            Soren’s

             fac

 e

chan

 g

  ing at his

change

  in

 words,

              “you

                 r

              he

               l

              p,

              ”

             “I want-

            to help you

            I really do,

              “

              Soren

               insist

               e

               d,

              “But the Order

                and

                   I, didn’t

                leave things on

                good

                terms,

  Hesitatin

   g,

 Cou,

 “Would  

   Reuben be

   t

    here,

       “

    Jess

     e

    Nod

    ded

    “And you’d be helping a lot of

      animals-“

    “Fine-

      I’ll

     go,”

      ,

   Jesse

    em

   er

    gi

    n

    g

  wi

    t

    h,

 Soren

  Only to find

    Aidan

  an

   d

   Eligard

     No

    Long

      er

     ther

      e,

    “They  

      went

     ahead

         to

         th

          e

       Temple

          ,”

       Lukas

        whis

         per

          ed

           Swa

            pp

             in

             g

           stories

          wi

            th

           Luk

            as  

 on

 th

  e

 w

   a

   y

   as        

    he

    le

     ad

    t

    h

     e

     m

      b

       a

       c

       k

        to

        th

        e

      Te

      m

        ple,

       The

      only

      thing

       left

      after

       th

        e

     Wither’s

     rampage

      “And

       our

       tree

      house

        is

       ri

       gh

         t

      ov

        e

        r

     th

      e

      r

     e,”

   Lukas

   poi

    n

    t

    e

    d

  ou

    t,

 Petr

 a

 sho

 w

  in

  g

  u

  p

  w

   i

   t

   h

   I

   v

   o

   r,

  And

  things

  clearly

   went

  down

    hi

     ll from

    th

    er

    e,

  Ivor,

  im mediately

   taking charge of the whole

  op      eration

 as        Soren

watch

e

d

Irr

iat

 e

 d

  o

  n           th

  e

   side

    lin

    e

    s,

Goin

  g

 t

  o

 g

 e

  t

Mag

n

u

 s

 with

t

h

e

sp

ar

e

tim

e

,

“Who

dares-

So

r

e

 n,

 “

 Dro

 pp

  ing the explosive behind his back as he went to

cuddle

Soren,

 who

 star

 e

  d

 blank

 l

 y,

“Soren,

 ‘how you been

  cute

   pig,

   Always

    a sucker for

    (cute

    animals,

       so

      how,

          “

      Holding up the emblem

      intimi

      datingly

                Sw

       “Al right,

        oh right,

        ,sure

            “

         Mak

            in

            g

            it

           b

           a

          c

          k

          t

          o

         t

          h

          e

                   Temple,

          to

        he

        ar,

      “It’s

      Done!”

      Soren

       raisi

        ng

         an

         ey

           e

         bro

          w,

          at

           leas

            t,

            “This will

 de

 activate

    the

   Wither

   storm,

     “

    “Once

        in

      walking distance so

       of

     course,

        ,”

     Shoving

        th

         e

      devic

         e

       of

         f

       on

     Lukas

      Who

      went

        to

       suit

        up

       as well as the rest of

      them,

 At the moment

arrived,

   “I’ll watch

     Reuben

    for

    you,

     “

  Soren

   Offe

    r

   ed

   Reuben

  Could take

       a pretty

    mighty

  pun

    ch,

   but saf

  er

 no

  t

  to

  risk

    it,

 “Sure

 Reuben

   likes

   you,”

   As

   he

  went

  through

      Sl

       ici

       n

       g

     Thr

      ou

      g

       h

      th

      e

     Wit

     her

     Spawn

    ed

    hord

    e,

   The

  Wither

   storm

   falte

     r

    in

    g  

    an

    d

   fall

    in

    g

  Com

     in

     g

    ou

      t

Rescuing those that the  

   Wither

    storm

      had

      cap

       tur

        e

        d,

       Inc

        Lud

          in

          g

        Gab

          r

          i

          el,

          Wi

           th

          Fro

           s

          t

          bi

          t

         e,

         Only

           for

             it  

             to

            star

 t

mov

 in

  g

 ag

   a

   i

   n,

   In

  three,

   “Run!”

    Luk

    as

    Wa

      rn

      e

      d,

     They ran, castle destroyed,

         and forced to find shelter in a

     cave

     “This never

       would’ve

      happened,

       “

      “Magnus please for once in your life shut your

     accursed

     mouth,”

     Soren

      snap

     p

     e

     d

 worriedly,

 “Eligard help me attend to

  Gabriel’s

   frost

   bite

     ,”

     -

  Into the Night

“Ivor,

 I can’t believe

  so such a fool

  hardy

   plan!”

  Wak

  in

  g

 up

Lukas

 an

 d

           dis

            turb

            i

           n

           g

          th

          e

       other

        s,

      Goin  

        g

       ou

        t

        t

        o

       ,

                  “I should’ve

                    stood up

                for

                m

                 yself

                 a

                  long time ago

Ivor

       Give me that

        in fernal device,”

      “ it need

        s

       morganite

         ,”

      “You use

       d

       dia-

      mond,

         ”

          as argument broke out

          Lukas,

            Petra coming behind

            Lukas after being treated

        for

         minor

          frost

         -burn

         Sm,

        “Looks like I actually

       wi

         ll have use of that

     mor

     ganite,“

  Petra crossed her arms clearly haven’t forgotten the abrasive

      behavior

        ear

         lie

         r,

      “Pl-

       huc

       ke

       d

     Morganite

      at

     h

      i

     m,

    “Yo

      u

    should

     pro

     bably

     destroy

      it

     fo

     r

   goo

   d

m

 easur

  e

   ,”

  Soren  

    giv

      in

      g

      Luk

       as      

       h

       i

       s

      s

      w

      or

      d,

   “Oh look at

    Soren can’t kill an

    ender

    dragon-

   O

    op

    s,”

   “Ivor, you have

   never,

  Been

 helpful

    to

  any

  one

   in

  th

  e

 g

  r

 ou

 p

ever”

  “I-

 Mag

  nus

 C’mon on

  that isn’t

  true

  right

   buddy ,”

  Mag

   nus

  hid

   ing

  be

   hin

    d

 Sore

   n,

  Eli    

   gar

   d

  Cros

    s

     in

      g

     he

       r

     ar

      m

       s,

      “It’s

       time you leave

      Ivor,

        “

      Ivor looking at them before running

      into the Wasteland

      Of the

       ir

     ow

       n

    mak

     i

     n

      g

   “Come on we have inventions

      to make

     and things

       to

      rebuild

         ,”

      “Is it true that you didn’t

     slay

      the

     end

       e

       r

    d

    ra

     g

    on,

    “No,

  Aligardz’s

    dragon

     look

      e

      d

      to

       o

     m

      u

      c

      h

     lik

      e

     an

    an

      i

    mal,

      I lulled

      it

       to

    sl

     e

     ep,

      Not a blade pierc

      e

      d it’s  

     pel

      t

    Soren

     Stro

      kin

      g

      R

       ueben’s

      h

      ea

      d,

      “Ivor’s

        ma-

         ,”

        a sound,

        “We should get back to

    invent,”

        So

        ren’

        s

        word

         s

          fad

           ed

           of

            f

           as he enter

          th

         e

         cav

         e

        Leav

          ing

         Jess

          e with the

        othe

        r

        s

        Suit

          ing up to take on the

        Withe

            r

          on

 e

          last

          tim

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[amourete-blog1]

xanthe + felide kid pls

see it’s funny that you ask this bc sel, mj and i have talked about Xanthe, feli and Lil all three having a kid together, but I don’t think we ever talked about feli and Xanthe specifically, so I’m flying blind here

Name: these sappy dorks would probably name their kid after something important to them like the fuckin moon or something. Xanthe calls feli his moon and stars so like… It works!Blood color: lime, burgundy or mutant red. On that note I had the terrifying thought of them having a psion for a kid and I’m laughing about how hellish that would be, because NEITHER of them are psions.General Appearance: they would probably be soft and squishy like feli as a kid, but when they get older they’ll probably grow into a more slender frame like xanthe. They’d also grow up w two very active parents so they’d likely get a good bit of muscle too.Personality: this kid is probably the nicest kid you will ever meet. Generous, kind, makes lunch for all the other kindergarteners once a month. They would also have a stubborn streak but it wouldn’t be quite as strong as with lil and feli, because Xanthe and feli can temper their stubbornness when the time calls for it. Lil? Good fucking luck.Special Talents: it would be super cruel if they had prophetic nightmares, wouldn’t it. :33cWho they like better: Xanthe would spoil them.Who they take after more: probably both equally lmao, if not Xanthe.Personal Head canon: talk to me about their mutant kid not knowing the meaning of mutant blood because Xanthe and feli worked so hard to help them love themselves and then having to *learn.*

#tag later #ooc

[seiwas]

HELLO I AM ON MY KNEES FOR YOUR IWA THE SUBTLE PDA i am such a pda enthusiast BUT YES YES i can only think of iwa when he's with oikawa but HE WOULD SO OFFER UP HIS SEAT to the pregnant/elderly and play it off as oh dw i enjoy standing more, throws in a little smile and wink at you (and when you casually lean your forehead against his stomach and he caresses your head) and i KNOW he would look so hot with his legs crossed casually too like the figure 4 type of crossed leg

HE WOULD NEVER RAISE HIS VOICE ON YOU god forbid or he would duct tape his mouth shut for the rest of his life (but only after giving you so many soft kisses)

WHEN HE'S GOOD WITH KIDS>>>>>>>>>> stop i will buy the rings rn

the arm on the back of the sofa or behind your seat as he backs out (HE LIKES TO USE IT AS HIS EXCUSE TO LOOK AT HOW PRETTY YOU LOOK SITTING IN HIS PASSENGER SEAT!!!!!)

small tattoo. MAYBE THE 'RULE THE COURT' BECAUSE HE'S SENTIMENTAL LIKE THAT god small tattoo on the back of his neck so has to be canon i'm petitioning furudate RIGHT NOW

AND ALSO YOU'RE SO REAL WITH WANTING IWA AS YOUR HUSBAND BUT OIKAWA AS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN YOU ARE SO SO REAL (i also need to update that because i am LYING if it's only kenma samu oikawa (and iwa))

gosh i feel so like the adrenaline is rushing rn talking about iwa

i love iwa in muscle shirts i love iwa in loose clothing i love iwa in compression clothes i love iwa in athletic wear i love iwa shirtless i love iwa

AND I KNOW IWA HAS SHORTER HAIR BUT IMAGINE IF HE GREW IT OUT SOME AND HAD IT DOWN IMAGINE HOW HOT THAT WOULD PLEASE MS SEL PLEASE

speaking of shirtless iwa...... we cannot forget the rippling back muscles AND THE ARMS THE VERY VERY BITEABLE ARMS AND SHOULDERS

oh oh oh and loose tie iwa loose tie iwa plagues my mind BUTTON UP DRESS SHIRT WITH THE TOP BUTTONS UNBUTTONED, TIE PULLED LOOSELY FROM HIS NECK his collarbone peeking through and he just looks so so hot

i just had another thought but iwa kissing you senseless......... your back is pressed against a wall but his mind is just as blank and his fingers are moving just desperate for more of you more of the way you melt for him more of the way you become so weak for him more of the way that all he wants is to feel you and touch you and asldfkajsdlfkjdf

ALSO GOJO LEVELS OF MANSPREADING HAD ME CACKLING SDLFKSJDFLSDKFJ that man would do splits on the sofa if he could HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

love letters and little notes in his cute and messy handwriting that you would recognize anywhere an the little doodles he tries to add with motivational saying and quotes to help you get through a hard day

THE MIRROR SELFIES HE WOULD SEND YOU

lax stance but his arms look so good and his face is turned at an angle just right that you see his super well defined jawline and adlfasdfasdlfaskdf

THIS GOT SO LONG AGAIN but please i have a newfound love of gushing about iwa with you thank you for indulging this :3

omf. koi i- omf.

I THINK IWA GETS... kinda shy with outright pda just bc he doesn't want to attract attention 😭 buT yEAH! he's so smooth w being well-mannered im cryinG RN SNIFFLING the little smile and wink IS KILLING ME ... when u lean ur head on his stomach omg........ smth so intimate with that... sigh AND HE REALLY WOULD LOOK SO HOT SITTING LIKE THAT LIKE . EXCUSE ME. maybe 4 will just always look good on him.

YES OMFG I THINK. THE FIRST TIME HE DOES IT IT DEFINITELY ISN'T ON PURPOSE 😭 he's just a little stressed... but he feels so bad for it afterwards omfg pls.

how pretty u look in his passenger seat PLS SHOOT MEN NWO SHGDFBSA my top 1 subtle intimacy gesture for iwa is hand on thigh while drive. plEASE TAKE ME AWAY. when he does this. with good music playing. and the vibes are immaculate. i could die.

shbgsdfj THERES JUST SMTH ABT IT I THINK!! the attentiveness of iwa as a husband is so pure, so beautiful, so... in love LIKE !! the acts of service man he is... BUT ALSO oikawa as a dad just imagining a lil girl who looks just like him, who puts his hair in mini pigtails, who he chases around the house and carries on his back only to put them back down and tickle them LIKE HJAHFABHBFHASHJF MY GOD

i just love him koi oh my god in anything nothing everything whatever !!!!

omg ..... iwa w a bit of longer hair.......... if he did a lil comma hair w it.... i would simply fade away and have him grip it tightly when he's working out too OOOOOO.. this is it.... the end of my days,......... pls do not even start w his muscles i think my brain would melt. oh my god..........

loose tie iwa is another SIGHT MY GOD. IMAGINE attending an event with him and u get home... he's tired... downs a class of water on the couch... and ure tipsy so maybe just a lil bit more touchy w him than normal... and u go on his lap w his legs spread out... collar unbuttoned like u said... tie loose... collarbones peeking i am... oh i am....

i cant believe u went to the kissing koi i would literally die. i cant even answer this. my mind is going INSANE. i just know he grips ur waist rlly tight. grips ur thighs. hips. JUST GRIPS. hand on neck too... oh the hand on neck im GOOOOONEEEEEE

and hIS GYM SELFIES PLS OMFG. dont even GET ME STARTED. his jawline ????? CUT ME OPEN. i ASHFVAGSFHGjk pls oh my god i just know he's perfected all his gym poses from doing it so much while he was taking progress shots in college

PLS KOI I LOVE HIM feel free to gush abt him anytime w me i STG

[seiwas]

hello sel! here’s another story for the sleepover! back in 8th grade (i work now btw), there’s this guy who has a lot of girls crushing on him not only in class but our whole batch as well. i can see why people do, he was quite the looker! then he became my seat mate during english period, oh boy….did i ended up crushing on him too. he was cute, nice, funny, a bit awkward and weird (in a good way). we chatted a lot by sharing personal stories, eventually share similar interest and became friends. he would sometimes draw these neat anime doodles on my notebook when i’m done talking notes. there were times when i commented negatively about myself and he would indirectly compliment me (like when he says that he finds someone cute. when i ask who, he tries to say my name but ended up saying ‘mikasa’ from aot which sounds similar to my name or maybe its the delulu in me hoping). one time, some of my classmates asked me how i got close to him since he doesn’t talk much to the other girls in our class. i guess i was just lucky to be his seat mate & we just got close to the point where he can openly talk to me. ngl, that made me feel special hehe. so did i confess to him? no, he already had a crush on someone else so i didn’t see the point. (also, him and his crush got together in 9th grade and there’s still together now!) we’re not close anymore but i cherished our friendship while it lasted. i had my fair share of crushes but he was definitely my favorite! anyway, tysm for taking your time to read this 🤗💗

oh my god nonie 🥺 idk if i want to cry or smile or giggle or sob or... oh my god this is so bittersweet!!! thank you for sharing this!! and welcome to the sleepover ✨

aaah this must have been so nostalgic for you to reminisce on omg 8th grade 🥺 hsbsajd oh boy did you end up crushing on him too <- SO REAL 😭 the fact that he became your seatmate too AAAH he does sound so sweet 🥺

HIM DRAWING THOSE ANIME DOODLES ON YOUR NOTEBOOK IS SO CUTE PLS 😭 (not to make this abt me but omg i used to do this to my bf in hs too 😭) and how he'd indirectly compliment you omg... YOU CAN BE DELULU ALL YOU WANT HE'S BEING SO ANNOYING ABT IT PLS 😭 very 8th grade boy things indeed 🥺

and you're so right for feeling special nonie PLS omg (again not to make this about me but im seeing so many parallels to this and me shdbfs i used to feel special too bc my bf (who was just my friend then) was liked by a lot of girls!! but he was closest to me shdbhsd) but omg nonie... so at the time when you wanted to confess, he alr liked someone else? :( i mean !! it's good, like you said, he's still with his crush now and that's a cute story for them!! but omg is he like the one that got away for you nonie? 😭 or is it not that deep... sdbgvsdjfb

AAAH i love how you look at it 🥺 like a fond memory!! and how he's still your favourite crush omg 😭 that is so cute pls. i hope you can reconnect someday!! for the friendship!! since you did cherish it and he does seem sweet 🥺 but even more!! i hope you are happy right now, nonie!! 🥺💗

let's have a sleepover!! 💗 send me any questions/stories you wanna share!!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

SEL……………………

i finally got around to reading this!!!! :3 im sorry it took so long PJDJD bUT honestly im glad i took my time w it because this fic really does deserve a thorough reading!!!!! and i think i needed time to just….. Absorb a lot of it. to be in a good headspace. i still cried though i dont even know where to begin honestly!!! 

sel……….. something about your writing just makes me sob. I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT…….. its just always so painfully soft. to the point where it hurts a little bit? 😭😭 in a VERY good way to be clear, but reading ur fics feels a little like going to therapy…. i cried a LOT reading this. so much of it is soooo heartwrenching but you never fail to patch it up w more softness and that’s just.

i take back the therapy comparison actually bc reading this felt more like going thru surgery…. getting scalpel’d and then sewn back together again….. but like. in a gentle way.

if u cant tell im a bit delirious rn bc there’s just so much i want to say 😭😭 but!! overall i am just in AWE of your writing style. always always always. how effortlessly u mess up my emotions…… i really do think its such a wonderful talent for a writer to have!!! i always without fail feel SO much reading ur fics :’3 if sel has a million fans i am one of them if she has no fans i am no longer on this earth 🙏🙏 u r so so so talented!! (but i expect financial compensation for every single tear i shed reading this PHDJD)

anyways!!! onto the actual fic… gosh. sel what have u done to me. i honestly truly dont know where to begin, i loved so so SO many things abt it, my notes are a mess, this might be a little incoherent but pls just know i adored this fic from start to finish…….. DEFINITELY one of my favorite depictions of gojo ever.

BUT OK im just gonna try to get all my thoughts out in a … somewhat ….. cohesive manner ….. i just hope u can feel the love i have for u and this fic <333333 im gonna take a page out of ur book and format this the same way u do when u rb my stuff!! and Hope that it turns out semi-structured… I FEEL A LITTLE LIKE IM WRITING AN ESSAY RN but im so unbelievably serious abt this sel. im treating this like a paper worth 80% of my grade.

When Gojo has love for the taking, he makes no move to reach for it. <- how DARE u start with this line u immediately shattered my heart 😔😔 this set such a distinct tone for the entire fic and its such a genius take on gojo….. his approach to love. his choice not to reach for it as a contrast to his somewhat greedy nature. more on that later though!!

BUT ON THAT NOTE………. gosh sel. i knew i was gonna love ur depiction of gojo in this obviously but i was really so so awestruck by how thoughtfully uve written him here 🥺🥺🥺 hes sooooo cute but he also feels so heartwrenchingly real, so vulnerable AND AND AND: soooooo human. i was completely enamored by so many lines and moments in this, when he gets shy and nervous and when his boyish side shines through. when you get a peek of who gojo Really is, when you strip away the godhood and resonsibilities and he feels safe.

You’d think this a rejection, if any, but he doesn’t move away from you, and the blush blooming at the tips of his ears says more than he ever could. 

Your eyes trail to the side of his neck, hidden in the shadows of his jawline; there’s really nothing, but sometimes you blink and see crimson, oozing, gushing, leaking—you shake away the thought.  

He looks cozy, almost boyish, beaming against the autumn breeze blowing on his thick gray hoodie. 

Gojo continues to eat, blabbering about a site visit he’s assigned to next week, but you don’t miss the way his ears are fully red and how he’s biting his lips to death. <- THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR…. literally had to take a breather after this hooowwwwww do u write him so cute. tell me ur secrets. hes so cute im literally tearing up writing this hhhhhh 😥😥😥

its a side of gojo that i think a lot of people dont explore, bc he never really shows it in the manga, but i really do think that its exactly how he’d be in a situation like this!!! one thats completely unknown to him and hinges on that raw, unguarded, human part of his heart…. its such an interesting side of him.

it can be super cute to read, like all the moments in this where he gets a bit awkward and blushes and everything, but other times its just….. Unbelievably Heartbreaking. like when he gets downright desperate and openly afraid. its so chilling in a way because gojo as a character is always so calm and collected and chill, but then u have these moments of unfiltered emotion that are just….. so hard to read? but also so interesting and just. so Good. so wonderfully written i was FLOORED….. this moment in particular:

“Wait,” he swallows, a franticness you’ve never seen before. His head stays down as he bites his lips, sunglasses hanging by his fingertips. You wonder what he wants to say, that even if it comes out messy, it’s okay. You want to tell him that it’s just you—that you’ll always want to hear it all anyway. 

What comes next is unlike any version of Satoru you have ever known—nervous and uncertain, almost like he’s afraid. He lowers himself, slowly coming down to his knees in front of you. A giant of a man so small in your presence. 

“I don’t know how.” he mutters, dropping his sunglasses to the floor. 

GAHHHHH……. PDJDJDBXBC ……… can u hear my heart breaking sel. a giant of a man so small in your presence……………. the way he opens himself up here. (and the way he drops his sunglasses!! the symbolism hhhh its so satisfying.) he comes off as almost helpless and thats just………… its so tough to read LMAO like truly!!! it gutted me!!!!! but i love it so much. and reader being so so SO patient (more on that later but sel shes literally my Wife i love her to death)

i think gojo is very much afraid of love, and that wounded part of him shines through so effortlessly in the way u write him here….. its such a realistic and grounded take and it just feels so right. which is probably also why it hurts so much :’3 but ive been thinking abt this a lot tbh, not just in regards to col but ALL your fics, just….. how good you are at really looking at a character and seeing their human side. and capturing it!! expressing it!!! lil habits of theirs, or vulnerable aspects that others might stray from…… im sure ive already said this and ill definitely repeat myself LMAO but!! youre such a wonderful writer sel. i really was so floored by all this!! how u make gojo feel so genuinely human, just in the way his ears go red or he bites his lip….

ohhhh also!! before i forget!!!!!! the divinity theme……. the god theme……. (explodes). literally every single time u write abt it i picture our braincells connecting PHDJDF i LOVE ur take on it so much!!

How does he tell you that he must be fucked in the head? That every second in his mind is another step closer to insanity? That he’s lost your tether on Satoru in pursuit of Gojo—of being a god? 

^ LIKE………….. this entire paragraph. how he feels himself seeking the ’gojo’ in his name instead of the ’satoru’… n how reader always only calls him satoru!! he is slipping away!!!! n distancing himself from the person who makes him feel most human!!!!! im rattling at the bars of my cage sel. 

BUT okok. lets talk abt my favorite part of this fic. there are Many bUT…… i think overall what affected me most and had me crying most (and obv also the main theme of the fic!!) is gojo’s relation to Love. his fear of it. but also his yearning for it. u show everything so subtly yet vividly and it feels so grounded and real!!! such a bigbrained take on him. how he loves reader but also fears how she affects him, how HE affects her…….. the softness he feels but also that panic. and just how closed off he is….

aaaaa there were just SO many lines that explored that part of him in so many different ways and i loved them all to bits:

It’s dangerous, he thinks, how you make wanting something so complicated seem so simple.

“I’ll tell you,” he starts, “but you have to look away." (....) “I’m fine,” he says to the back of your head, “you have nothing to worry about.” <- THIS… gahh… how he has to physically avert his gaze to lie to her. the symbolism here too… how his eyes reveal how he truly feels. im so weak for it sellllll ;w;

Gojo’s a pretty bad communicator; for how much he talks, he doesn’t really say much—and maybe that’s the root of all this. There are too many things he wants to say but can’t formulate in the right way. 

“I can’t.” he speaks softly. What hurts the most is that beneath his sunglasses, his eyes still hold the sky. You think you want to cry. <- ME TOO READER ME TOO .. the helplessness here. the helplessness and discomfort that gojo must feel….. oughhh

It’s threatening, he thinks, how you can say so much with so little. 

(…) how Gojo is now afraid of love, more than anything else, not because of loss but because he might not know how. <- if u listen closely u can hear my muffled sobbing in the distance

But it doesn’t come. You feel Gojo’s breath stilling before speeding up into little exhales. Something is wrong.

You realize that it must be true then, what they say, that those who love to be feared, fear to be loved, because you’ve never seen anyone afraid of something so good as Gojo is of this. <- (SOUND OF GLASS SHATTERING) SELLLLL I AM GRABBING U BY THE SHOULDERS…. this is sooo… so………… i cant speak just know i resonate a lot w col!gojo + i cried LMAO

Gojo hates it, how you’ve always had to adjust for him. He hates that he can’t give you this one thing, hates that you’re still so patient, that he’s still so afraid. He swallows, closing his eyes tight before opening them again.  “I want to,” he chokes out, “I just don’t know—”

^ this entire moment…… GOD. the fact that he isnt incapable of it or anything, he just literally doesnt know how!!! and the frustration of that…. someone like gojo, who is good at Literally Everything EXCEPT for giving and receiving love. ack. it hurts but its such a real aspect of his character and u depict that side of him so well…….. how he wishes he could give u this One thing. when ur so patient. :( hes a sweetie and hes flawed and hes trying his best.

i know ive said this before but…. i really do identify so so much with col!gojo!!!! im kind of in love w col!reader bc of that LMAOO she’s just….. to have someone love you so gently and patiently……… with so much care. yeah. i get why gojo is literally gutted by her presence. hes so Me. 

and THATS my segway into col!reader <333 my beloved. my angel on earth. i love her!!!!! so so dearly!!!!!!!!! she has this older sister vibe that just makes me want to hug her ☹️☹️🤧 

i talked abt this a tiny bit before but she really has this resiliance abt her!! shes so so strong and kind and those traits melt together so seamlessly. i love how gojo is physically the stronger one, but when it comes to the emotional aspect reader is just so much more brave and willing to be vulnerable….. even when its scary for her too.

and how that rubs off on toru!!!! i adore their dynamic SO much and you wrote it so thoughtfully sel!!! i lovelovelove them. and its so perfect for gojo too…. i know u and i agree on this but i genuinely dont think any trope works better for gojo than slowburn/friends to lovers…. u just Get it

there’s just something so sweet about the way they interact, how they help each other!! their love is so so so tender and gentle and just. loving. its a slowburn and thats comfortable for both of them. there is just so so much care between these two!!! and getting to see the way their relationship slowly blossoms was such a treat 🥺🥺

“I think I’ll always want to be with you, Satoru.” When you offer your heart to Gojo, he looks at you softly. 

^ this gutted me like a sad fish. ive said this before but ur ability to turn my heart into sashimi w only a couple of finely chosen words kills me every time

Once Gojo turns to give you the cone, you reach for his other hand tentatively, shyly—your fingertips grazing his palm lightly. You want to give him an out if he can’t take this, but he doesn’t move. He twitches a little, as if he’s been caught off guard, but that’s it. <- FUCKKKK . sorry. im just ;; shes just ;;;;; the way she ALWAYS gives him an out in case its too much. she loves gojo so patiently and tenderly and thats exactly how he deserves to be loved :(

You choose to show him slowly, gently, like the trickling introduction of water to a man who is first learning how to drink. <- THISSSS GOD ur choice of words sel….. u really get such a good grasp on their dynamic and love just from this single sentence

It grows organically that way: knuckles brushing as you both reach for the stapler, pinkies touching whenever you walk side-by-side during site visits—until you’re able to hold his hand fully again, leaving that little infinity between your palms for him to close (hopefully, one day). <- THE SUBTLE INTIMACY;;;;;;;

Shoko asks what you are and you don’t know what to tell her other than you’re happy and it’s good. <- SHOKO MENTION but also i adore this line. stuck out to me a lot while reading!! tbh i think this is all love needs to be; it doesnt have to be labelled to mean something. theyre happy and its good!!

(i always get so giddy when i see how much our views of gojo overlap also .. i have a fic thats literally just this one line!! a relationship w gojo that isnt quite a relationship but the love is there and thats enough :’3 im just. aaa. im so thankful for u sel!! our gojo discussions mean the world to me <3)

You chuckle, without judgment, “I don’t either,” you lean forward, foreheads touching, “but do you want to try together?” <- MY HEARTTTTTTTT SHES SO….. shes like if someone gathered a bundle of the softest sweetest loveliest flowers n turned em into a person :< theres so much love in her heart!!

if i was gojo i’d be bawling LMAO just!!! to be treated so tenderly!!!! so patiently!!!!!! i doubt he’s has ever been met w so much tenderness and love :( it must feel scary to him but reader is just always so reassuring… to me the One dynamic that will always make me crumble is a patient, kind person who chooses to love someone who’s damaged and afraid. its difficult and tough but!! the love is there!! and the patience is so healing to me.

and needless to say u portrayed it soooo wonderfully…. u show how hard it is for both of them, how much theyre both struggling but still willing to bare their hearts to each other… how reader has to tiptoe that line between fondness and love and intimacy, not get too close but not too far… how its kinda like trying to take care of a wounded animal — if you move too quickly itll try to stumble away.

CAN U TELL IM NORMAL ABT THIS phddjjd i just. sel………… there is a tiny lil portion of my heart that belongs entirely to u and ur gojo and ur delicious takes on him <3333 

but angst and hurt/comfort aside theyre also just. SO cute. i was gushing over them the whole time!!!!! im especially weak for shy nervous gojo SEL HES LITERALLY SO…… i dont know who im more jealous of at this point. theyre both so cute. u can sense their history and fondness for each other just in the way they speak, and the air between them is just so so so warm. i want them to adopt me i think. or just be their friend. or join their relationship 

It’s always like this with Gojo: he pulls you in and you follow. No matter the distance between you, when you sit down together like this, it still always flows so easily. The banter you’ve built together over a decade and more shines through no matter what state your relationship is in. 

“You know…” he looks to the side, pouting, “whatever you do….” “Like…?” you coax lightly, trying hard to hide the small smile forming on your lips. He grips his pants tighter, fabric bunching under his fingers, “When you hold my hand… those things. You get it.”  You wonder how many versions of Satoru you’ll meet in your lifetime, and if this one, shy and nervous, will be one you’ll fit into the crevices of your heart just like all the others. 

^ GOOD GOD (i exploded.) sel im literally so serious u r DAMAGING my brain hes way too cute. i think that if i flustered gojo like this i would simply fall to my knees and cry. hes just the cutest guy in the world i think. blushy and sweet. its embarrassing how down bad i am for him

You nod, opening your mouth. Gojo’s eyes widen, nearly dropping the spoon at your request. You see the flush of his cheeks and smile, corners of your mouth extending wider. The spoon is shoved to your mouth too quickly, almost like he’s embarrassed to feed you.  <- cutiepie 😭

“Too sweet.” “Like me, right?” he winks. “Sure,” you drawl sarcastically and Gojo smiles like it’s high praise. 

You turn to him, a shy smile on your face. The tips of his ears are blush red but he looks at you the same, “Your hands were cold,” he pouts, “is this– is this okay?”  “Yeah, it’s warm. Thank you, Satoru.” you nod, beaming.

^ CUTIEPIEEEEEEE 😭😭😭

“There’s a secret ingredient.” He swallows before he scoffs, “What?” (...) “Love?”  You’re surprised because he says it so casually, and Gojo’s never talked about love, has never even mentioned the word since this shift in your relationship. He realizes a beat late by the expression on your face and gets flustered, thinking immediately of ways to brush past it.  (…) “if it is?” you whisper, pretending to stir your coffee.  Gojo doesn’t know how to approach this, really, but he’s come too far to back out now. He clears his throat, mentally running through what he wants to say, then, “Good. ‘Cause that’s what I put in your coffee too.” 

^ this whole scene……. psjdksbxjdbjxkzkz. so cute.

When he leaves for missions, you kiss his cheek, pull him in by the hand and linger there, shyly. He gets embarrassingly red but tries to cover it up by telling you not to miss him too much (even though you know you will, and he knows he’ll miss you more).  Your near-kisses with Gojo happen more frequently, and it comes to a point where he even manages to land one on your forehead, while you fall asleep next to him on his office couch. 

^ sel 🤝 the most gutwrenching heartfluttering depictions of subtle intimacy i have seen in my life

You stand there stunned for a good minute before you shake out of it, laughing. Gojo yells about how you’re being so mean, making fun of him when he’s like this, but you aren’t—not really. <- the banter!! the playful teasing n laughter!!!!!!! theyre so comfortable with each other and its so fun to read. :>

and sel…… just as a final note; this should hopefully be obvious atp but i ADORE ur writing. so so so much. i love the way this is written and i had to stop literally every two seconds to write down a line that i loved. i think the only ones i havent mentioned yet are these!!:

There are crescent indents on your palm from squeezing your knuckles too hard. You think, is this how you form shallow cuts on your heart? <- SO PRETTYYYYYYY

You learn that Gojo sees himself so differently from how you do—and maybe that’s everyone, but Gojo tends to say things while doing the other. He says he can’t bother with kids, but continues to take so many of them under his wing anyway; he calls your cereal concoction disgusting but tastes it regardless; and he says he can’t think about love, doesn’t know how, but proceeds to try so much harder, everyday.  When you look at Gojo, you see a heart so big, so capable, that he can’t see it himself. 

^ this one means so much to me. ive run out of brain juice atp but like … sel ….. 🥺🥺🥺😥😥 the way u just understand him. hes not perfect, hes not a saint, but he loves and he loves and he loves even when it only ever hurts him. there’s something so human about gojo and ironically i think it hinges on how isolated he is? just… the fact that he continues to love despite that gap is so telling to me!!! i agree w reader so much, he doesnt understand how kind he is :( but he has a lot of love in his heart too.

u can probably tell but this rly did just tear my heart right out of my chest sel………….. im sniffling. tearing up. but im so so so happy and grateful that i found u and ur fics <3333 this really felt so healing!! im so excited to read more col sometime soon <33

give col!reader and col!gojo a lil kiss on the head from me pls 🥺

₊˚⊹｡ tell me about love (show me how) | gojo satoru

wc: 7.4k

summary: you teach gojo how to love. 

contains: f!reader in mind but no pronouns mentioned, descriptions of blood (typical jjk canon type stuff), shibuya onwards manga spoilers, implied minor character death, there are swears, suggestive bit at the end (but it’s funny!), lots of internal thoughts/dialogues, kind of canon divergent

a/n: relates to my short blurb, do you believe in love?, explores a lot on how i think gojo would be when it comes to love; ambiguous but linear timeline (jumps through scenes)

collection masterlist: conversations on love 01. do you believe in love? <- you are here -> 2.5. and my body keeps saying (it's yours)

When Gojo has love for the taking, he makes no move to reach for it. 

It’s unusual for him to be so restrained, being born into greed and predetermined purpose—a one-man clan fated to hold power close to God. There exists a hunger within him, insatiable and stubborn, unstoppable until he gets what he wants. It’s all he’s ever known: to take and devour, simply because he can. 

Yet with this, he doesn’t. He can’t seem to. 

“I think I’ll always want to be with you, Satoru.” 

When you offer your heart to Gojo, he looks at you softly. 

You catch his eyes and see the sky, bright, with flecks of light floating on his irises like cotton clouds in its periphery. It’s different from the piercing blue you’re used to—a terrifying riptide that washes you away. 

It wasn’t intended as a confession, but Gojo always takes whatever you have to say. He commits it to memory each time; how could he not? Words that come from you flow so naturally, so earnestly that the air around you shifts all on its own.

His lips part slightly, red spatterings lining pink inner corners before they close again. He doesn’t say anything, but you know Gojo and the fingerprints of his soul—the way he bites his lips to withhold himself from speaking. 

It’s dangerous, he thinks, how you make wanting something so complicated seem so simple.

He takes a small breath, then you feel it, pressed against you—the faint signature of his cursed energy overlaying his entirety. It tickles your skin a little, the effects of it brushing. You don’t remember the last time he put it up around you.

A million things run through Gojo’s mind for every split second he breathes, but at this point in time, he counts a million and one—one thought that if he touches you by infinity instead of his hands, he can have this good thing for now, that this is the only way how. 

You’d think this a rejection, if any, but he doesn’t move away from you, and the blush blooming at the tips of his ears says more than he ever could. 

.

.

.

The subtle intimacy you share with Gojo grows sporadically, from knuckles brushing to pinkies touching. He stands next to you more often, a few inches closer than he used to and sometimes, still, with an infinity connecting you.

.

.

.

When you hold Gojo’s hand for the first time, he jolts very slightly, as if you’ve shocked him. He’s started to put his infinity down around you again, and you continue the limbo of whatever it is you both are—except this time, he’s made it clearer, just a little bit. 

During the last few leaves of fall, Gojo skips to an ice cream stand like a pre-schooler on early dismissal. You trail behind him slowly, shaking your head affectionately; he’s the only adult you know that still acts like he’s 5. 

“You’re like a horse.” you jest, stopping next to him in line.

“You’re a snail.” he huffs, side-eyeing you, like a child.

You gasp exaggeratingly, hitting his arm. He fake-winces, but that’s all it is; Gojo’s the strongest and you don’t know of any human touch that has managed to hurt him, except—

Yeah. Your eyes trail to the side of his neck, hidden in the shadows of his jawline; there’s really nothing, but sometimes you blink and see crimson, oozing, gushing, leaking—you shake away the thought.  

When he receives his ice cream cone stacked with vanilla-strawberry-vanilla and rainbow sprinkles on top, the smile on his face parallels the sun. He looks cozy, almost boyish, beaming against the autumn breeze blowing on his thick gray hoodie. 

You wonder if he feels just as warm.

(Maybe that’s why you do it, then).

Once Gojo turns to give you the cone, you reach for his other hand tentatively, shyly—your fingertips grazing his palm lightly. You want to give him an out if he can’t take this, but he doesn’t move. He twitches a little, as if he’s been caught off guard, but that’s it. 

His eyes widen briefly, just a bit, before turning into the same soft skies frequenting them lately. 

“Sorry, is this okay?” you whisper, peering up at him. 

He stares at you for a while, his hand in yours unmoving. You leave a sliver of space between your palms–your own version of his infinity–just in case. And he takes it all in: how tiny your hand is wrapped around his, how gently you speak—how warm he feels now amidst this autumn breeze. 

“The strawberry’s really good,” he finally replies, pressing the dessert closer to you, “try it.” 

You give him one last look before you indulge in his request. Gojo’s always been good at that: pushing and pulling—pushing you away with non-answers only to pull you back in with something else. 

But he doesn’t let go of your hand, so you keep yours there, palms nearly touching. (You make a point not to mention how the parts that do touch become clammy for the rest of the afternoon). 

.

.

.

You start to think that your relationship with Gojo is going somewhere, then he disappears (‘gets sealed’ might be the more proper term). 

His absence is deafening. You’ve all lost so much, and it hurts, but you carry on knowing full well that this is what being a jujutsu sorcerer means. There aren’t many left to fight his fight, so you do what you can to. You stay with Shoko, mostly, if not going back and forth with Utahime. You can’t afford to be crying when the students, the kids—you can’t even bear to think about what they’re going through.

Nights are the hardest, when the world is quiet but your mind is loud, throwing far too many questions you can’t find the answers to.

What will Gojo come back to? Then the scarier thought: Will he even come back? 

You don’t want to doubt him, ever, but your mind continues to play back that day, like a final memory. The unintentional confession; his eyes like the sky. 

You don’t want it to be the last important thing you tell him. 

“I should start looking into retirement plans, like Nanamin.” you raise an eyebrow, questioning. Gojo’s never spoken this far into the future before, most especially his. 

“Work is shit now for you too?” you scoff, leaning back on the wooden ledge. 

Gojo rolls his eyes, skipping the coverage of his blindfold today. 

“Well, after I remove the old geezers and change everything, there won’t be much left to do.” 

You hum in response. He does make a point. 

“Also, Megumi won’t need me anymore,” he pouts, whining, “who else will want me around?” 

You try to hold back your laugh, wanting so badly to tell him that Megumi doesn’t even really like him around to begin with—but you figure breaking Gojo’s heart isn’t really something you want to do if you value your peace. 

“I don’t know,” you reply, shifting your weight, “I think I’ll always want to be with you, Satoru.” 

Even now, especially now. You wish you were with him, too. 

.

.

.

The day you hear of Gojo’s potential return, you drop your breakfast outside the 7-Eleven near Jujutsu Tech. You’re supposed to meet up with Utahime for a weekly check-in but your feet take you to Shoko, and the footsteps in your heart have never echoed louder. 

This is the first good news in a while—especially after finding out about the state of Megumi and what happened to Tsumiki, your sweet girl Tsumiki. 

When Gojo comes back, it’s like he never left. He pops out of the box joking the same way, talking the same way. He proves himself to be the strongest all the same, and when he wins—there are scars, but he wins and that fact stays the same. 

So, when you reach for his hand now and he moves away, you’re stuck wondering what’s changed. 

.

.

.

You let it stay that way for a while, your understanding extending to Gojo the way it always has—you don’t push, and he gives you what he can. It honestly isn’t all that bad, because at least he’s still talking to you like he used to. 

Jujutsu society is still shaken from its core. You and all who have survived bear the task of building everything from the ground up; it’s exhausting, especially since most of you are still mourning. 

Megumi’s been put in an induced coma; you understand why but it still tugs at your heart when Shoko tells you it might take a while. Everyone else has been assigned to sweep through the rest of Japan to ensure that any remaining curses are taken care of. 

You see Yuuji and Yuuta visit Megumi sometimes, along with Maki and Toge when they’re free. Gojo’s there pretty often too, using healing sessions with Shoko as an excuse to see the boy he’s practically raised at 17, with you. 

But while Gojo’s smiles to everyone else remain as charming as ever, you can always tell when they’re untrue. 

.

“Are you okay?” 

You find Gojo a little after midnight on the rooftop of the faculty building. The city always looks pretty from up here—a sea of lights reflected up on the sky. It’s a running joke that rooftops are Gojo’s ‘thing’, but you know he really only comes to places like this to think. You wonder what’s on his mind now, coming here every single night since being unsealed. 

Despite how quiet you try to be, sneaking up on Gojo is almost impossible; he senses you before he hears you, sees the familiar traces of your cursed energy through his Six Eyes. 

“Can’t sleep thinking about me?” he teases, looking straight ahead.

The steps you take towards him are careful, afraid of running him off like you seem to be lately. You sit beside him, leaving a space larger than you usually do, then shrug, “These days, yeah.”

It’s times like this when Gojo forgets how honest you can be, how he takes your word for everything, completely. 

It’s threatening, he thinks, how you can say so much with so little. 

“Well, maybe I can suggest—” 

“Seriously, Satoru,” you grip the ledge tightly, knuckles turning white, “please.” 

You tend to let Gojo dodge your questions a lot of the time, his elusiveness a hallmark of who he is. So you never sound like you do now, serious, pleading. 

Gojo fiddles with his fingers, pondering. He hums lowly before speaking, “Does it matter?” 

It hurts you a little, how that’s even a question. He should know better than to ask that to you. 

“It matters to me, Satoru,” you sigh, “you know it does.”

You barely catch the way his brows furrow at your response, but there are creases on his blindfold that can’t be created by anything else. And Gojo knows—is so painfully aware of the way you care. 

Since coming back, he’s never felt like he’s fully returned. It’s an odd existence of in-between, like he breathes everything and nothing all at the same time. The emotions are even worse, overloading his senses with feelings he can never pinpoint. 

How does he tell you that he must be fucked in the head? That every second in his mind is another step closer to insanity? That he’s lost your tether on Satoru in pursuit of Gojo—of being a god? 

“I’ll tell you,” he starts, “but you have to look away.”

You’ve always treated Gojo tenderly, patiently, and he knows, without a doubt, that no matter what he says you will continue to do the same. But he can’t allow that, not anymore. Not after the way you looked at him that day.

“Okay,” you mutter, turning your head the other way. 

He breathes out and you can almost picture it: half-bitten lips and eyes like low tide. 

“I’m fine,” he says to the back of your head, “you have nothing to worry about.” 

A breeze picks up and brushes past your neck. It’s a lie. He knows it, knows you know it too, but—

it’s easier this way, he thinks, to give you answers when you’re not looking.

Gojo’s never found a weakness he can’t work around, but he might have just found one with you—in your eyes, that read through his every lie. If you turn around now, he’ll want to tell you everything.

“Satoru,” you whisper, letting his name fill the air. You get it—him, and even when you don’t, you try damn hard to because you refuse to let Gojo carry all of it on his own. 

There are crescent indents on your palm from squeezing your knuckles too hard. You think, is this how you form shallow cuts on your heart?

“It’s just me,” you continue, facing him when you say it. 

He takes you all in—your eyes that hold the city lights, your lips, the only vessel that handles his name so delicately. It’s that look on your face again and Gojo’s hit with an ache in his chest—the overwhelming truth that whatever it is, he feels the same. 

.

.

.

There’s a secret Gojo keeps, one he’s certain he’ll never tell you: that when he looks at you upon his return and finds an emotion he refuses to name, he’s never felt so afraid.  

He takes in the shadows under your eyes and the sunkenness of your cheeks—the number of blinks it takes you to reign in tears on the brink of leaking. The way your voice shakes when you say his name.

Shoko tells him about it because she knows you never will—about how you’ve been running yourself dry, speeding through colonies to gather intel for any possible way to break the seal. She tells him about the sleepless nights, how she catches you standing outside his office at 3 a.m. before travelling to Utahime the next morning. 

And he cannot comprehend it at first, cannot understand how he’s caused you to crumble this way. 

If this is all because of him, how you’ve broken yourself all for his sake, he can’t allow it. To see you ruin yourself over him, over anyone ever—you deserve better.

So, when Gojo has love for the taking, he makes no move to reach for it; he cannot possibly take any more from you if this is what is left of you when he does. 

.

.

.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” you catch him by the door of the conference room. 

Rebuilding an entire society requires work and apparently a lot of meetings. Gojo doesn’t usually go to most of them, leaving you and Utahime to carry the chunk of his attendance when he’s not there. In the rare times that he does show up, he makes it a point to be the last one in and the first one out. Utahime hates him for it but you don’t blame him—he isn’t exactly amicable with other figures of authority.

He pauses when he steps out of the door, hands in pockets as he turns to face you. 

You’re not mad or anything, just stating the fact. He’s always known you to speak this way. You lean against the wall next to you, keeping your arms crossed. More people continue to file out of the conference room, some eyeing the two of you curiously as they pass by.

Gojo glances at them, suddenly self-conscious as he clears his throat, “Right, I’ve been avoiding the paperwork you left in my office,” he emphasizes, practically announcing it to everyone in the vicinity, “let’s finish it now.” 

You don’t know whether it’s irritating that Gojo’s so terribly bad at acting, or comforting that he still can’t, for the life of him, successfully lie in front of you. 

He motions for you to follow him as he strolls down the hallway, but you intentionally lag a few steps behind, careful not to encroach on his space lest it make him avoid you any more than he already is.

Stepping into Gojo’s office after so long feels weird, like you belong here but only to a memory of it—as if closing the door behind you feels like activating a muscle you haven’t for a while. It’s been months after all. 

Your eyes skim over the entire room, zeroing in on the stacks of paper lined up on his desk; paperwork has always been Gojo’s least favorite part of the job, often leaving you to do them with him (or alone, when you’re feeling generous). Not much has changed in his space; the mini living area still exists to the left of the room, with little bits of you in its interiors—the pillows, the coffee table books. 

Gojo plops down on the sofa chair and props his feet up on the ottoman, giving four scrolls to his phone before pocketing it. He has the audacity to casually offer you the seat across from him, as if nothing’s wrong—as if he hasn’t been avoiding you for god’s sake. 

Ever since the rooftop, he’s canceled lunch with you six times for reasons that you’re now realizing are less likely to be true. He’s kept a distance of at least one person in between you at all times, and to this day, you still don’t understand why. 

You sigh, taking a seat and leaning back to cross your legs. 

“You’re so bad at acting.” you start.

Being with Gojo for so long, you’ve come to realize that there’s no point being angry with him when your heart can never take it. 

“I technically wasn’t lying.” he replies, sticking his index finger up. 

“Yeah, I can see that,” you snicker, nodding to his desk. 

It’s always like this with Gojo: he pulls you in and you follow. No matter the distance between you, when you sit down together like this, it still always flows so easily. The banter you’ve built together over a decade and more shines through no matter what state your relationship is in. 

Neither of you say anything until Gojo replaces his blindfold for his sunglasses, placing the piece of cloth on the coffee table. 

You break the silence. 

“Why have you been avoiding me?” you ask quietly. Gojo aches at that, how you still choose to regard him so kindly. 

Why has he been avoiding you? It’s a good question, completely valid with how he’s been treating you lately, but he could draw up every answer he has, all one million and one, and still not know what to say.

Gojo’s a pretty bad communicator; for how much he talks, he doesn’t really say much—and maybe that’s the root of all this. There are too many things he wants to say but can’t formulate in the right way. 

“If it’s something I did, can you at least let me know?” you continue. Gojo frowns, how can you be wronged yet still think of yourself as the one to blame? 

“Why do you do that?” he tuts, head tilting sideways as his hands dig deeper into his pockets. 

“Do what?” you furrow your brows, confused. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t worry about it.” he says dismissively. 

You arch an eyebrow; he has it all mistaken. 

“Satoru, I’m not worried because I feel guilty,” you sit up, inching towards the edge of your seat, “I’m worried because you’re pushing me away.” your voice is level, but your pupils shake.

Something grips at his chest seeing you this way; together or apart, he seems to be the main contributor to your heartache. 

You wonder if confronting him like this is any good if he’s not going to say anything anyway. 

“If you want space, that’s okay, I get it, but,” you exhale, “at least just tell me why.” 

This entire time avoiding you, Gojo’s had you on his mind—the million and one. He’s come to terms with what he feels when you’re together, and how it amplifies when you’re not. 

It’s shitty of him to practically ghost you, not just in text but in real life too. But he’s thought about it logically, really, that removing himself from your life should be just like ripping off a bandaid—painful but quick. At least that way, you’d get over it fast. 

He’d been resigned to doing that and that was the plan—until now. 

All it takes is seeing that look in your eyes, and his resolve falls apart. 

“I can’t.” he speaks softly. 

What hurts the most is that beneath his sunglasses, his eyes still hold the sky. 

You think you want to cry. 

You take this as your answer and close your eyes, taking a deep breath before getting up to leave. If this is goodbye, you don’t want your last interaction to be an awkward memory of him watching you bawl in his office chair. 

You push yourself up with the armrest only to sit back down—because Gojo is right in front of you, blocking your way. His infinity is up but touching, a tingling sensation sweeping across your knees. 

“Wait,” he swallows, a franticness you’ve never seen before. His head stays down as he bites his lips, sunglasses hanging by his fingertips. You wonder what he wants to say, that even if it comes out messy, it’s okay. You want to tell him that it’s just you—that you’ll always want to hear it all anyway. 

What comes next is unlike any version of Satoru you have ever known—nervous and uncertain, almost like he’s afraid. He lowers himself, slowly coming down to his knees in front of you. A giant of a man so small in your presence. 

“I don’t know how.” he mutters, dropping his sunglasses to the floor. 

You blink once, twice, still surprised by what’s in front of you. Gojo has always towered above you, has always known how to do anything and everything so effortlessly without fail. 

Watching him now, with every inhale and exhale dragging in slow motion, you do your best not to startle him. 

“How to what?” you whisper, the moment so fragile. 

He looks up, eyes locking with yours. A reaction happens in that moment—the split second of all his thoughts collapsing into one. You see a clear sky, blue and bright as day, the Satoru he saves for you—while he sees you, with that look on your face, the one that he knows has always only meant love. 

The sincerity in your gaze overwhelms him—makes him look away before it becomes too much. Red blooms at the tips of his ears as he bites the inner corners of his lips, fingers grabbing at the fabric of his pants. You’re afraid he might run away again, but he doesn’t and stays right where you are. 

“You know…” he looks to the side, pouting, “whatever you do….”

“Like…?” you coax lightly, trying hard to hide the small smile forming on your lips. 

You wonder how many versions of Satoru you’ll meet in your lifetime, and if this one, shy and nervous, will be one you’ll fit into the crevices of your heart just like all the others. 

He grips his pants tighter, fabric bunching under his fingers, “When you hold my hand… those things. You get it.” 

And you do (get it), so you don’t push, taking whatever Gojo has to give you like you always have. 

The tension relieves from you slowly, comforted by the fact that at least he’s given you his reasons now (no matter how vague they still seem to be). That at least there are no non-answers this time. 

You tell yourself that it’s okay, that you’re content as long as Gojo’s in your life even without the possibility of becoming something more. 

“Ok—”

But there’s always one thing you forget about Gojo—

“So show me how.���

—in the moments you least expect it, he speaks the words that matter most. 

.

.

.

You choose to show him slowly, gently, like the trickling introduction of water to a man who is first learning how to drink. 

In the first few weeks of you and Gojo readjusting to one another, he turns on his infinity again—but only when he gets close enough to touch you. Lunches together happen more often, dinners sometimes too. Then he puts his infinity down, indefinitely. 

For the most part, your relationship falls into the usual steps of your dynamic with Gojo; there’s no pressure for anything and he likes that, appreciates the time you’re giving him to learn things at his own pace. 

It grows organically that way: knuckles brushing as you both reach for the stapler, pinkies touching whenever you walk side-by-side during site visits—until you’re able to hold his hand fully again, leaving that little infinity between your palms for him to close (hopefully, one day). 

.

.

.

The faculty room is cold, especially during winter. The heating system is never warm enough to keep your hands from shaking whenever you mix your morning coffee. 

“So loud so early,” Gojo saunters into the kitchen, hands in pockets as he approaches the pantry. 

You stop mixing, ceasing the clinking of the spoon against your mug. “How are you not freezing?” 

He shrugs, grabbing his box of (heavily sugared) cereal. “I guess I’m just hot.” he says, turning to wiggle his eyebrows.

You roll your eyes and set your coffee on the table, Gojo following with a bowl brimming with cereal and milk. 

Mornings usually consist of you and Gojo, with an occasional new hire who has an early class that day. Most of the time, it’s just you two though, with Shoko coming in much closer to lunch time already. 

“Want some?” he asks, holding out his spoon.

It’s routine—Gojo asks and you decline, choosing to save yourself from the cavities that he somehow manages to evade despite having a diet of 80% sugar. 

Today though, you’re feeling a little adventurous. 

You nod, opening your mouth. Gojo’s eyes widen, nearly dropping the spoon at your request. You see the flush of his cheeks and smile, corners of your mouth extending wider. The spoon is shoved to your mouth too quickly, almost like he’s embarrassed to feed you. 

“Too sweet,” you scrunch your face, swallowing down the copious amount of sugar you’ll feel for days. 

If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Gojo throughout this whole relationship trial period, he recovers from any state within a nanosecond. There’s no end to how shameless he can be. 

“Like me, right?” he winks.

“Sure,” you drawl sarcastically and Gojo smiles like it’s high praise. 

You sip your coffee slowly, revelling in the heat that flows down your throat.

“Can I have half of that?” you point to his bowl. Gojo looks at you, confused, but slides it over anyway.

What happens next is an abomination to Gojo’s eyes—pure absolute disgust: you pour half of his cereal into your coffee and mix, sipping and crunching on a few pieces every now and then. 

His face contorts into complete distaste, horror and revulsion in the way his mouth hangs open. 

“What are you doing? That’s gross!” he nearly yells, reaching over to bring your mug down. His hand covers yours for a moment, the contact still causing gallops in his heartbeat. 

You laugh, giggling as he processes what you’d wasted his cereal on. It honestly doesn’t taste that bad, you think. 

“You’re weird,” he says to you, the grin on his face uncontained. This morning, he feels fond, like the butterflies in his stomach are warm, tickling him from the inside. “Give me.” he motions to your mug. 

You hold it up for him to take a sip but he keeps his hand over yours when he tastes, sticking his tongue out once the bitterness of your coffee hits. You set the mug down, preparing to reach for your spoon, but he takes your hand in his, long fingers slotting right between yours, interlacing. 

Gojo doesn’t normally reach for your hand, much less interlace them together (a recent evolution to your hand-holding), but this feels nice, how your fingers fit right in the spaces of his. 

You turn to him, a shy smile on your face. The tips of his ears are blush red but he looks at you the same, “Your hands were cold,” he pouts, “is this– is this okay?” 

“Yeah, it’s warm. Thank you, Satoru.” you nod, beaming. And it’s not a competition but he hopes you see the light in his eyes, how it feels to be ignited within him only when he’s spending breakfasts like this with you. 

.

.

.

Shoko asks what you are and you don’t know what to tell her other than you’re happy and it’s good. Gojo’s existence is loud and vibrant, easy to spot from miles away—but he cares for you discreetly, in the hand that gently rests on your lower back while crossing the street, and the seemingly unlimited supply of your favorite coffee when you have no recollection of restocking it ever. 

He gives you a new mug for Christmas, one with little cereals painted all over while you give him his own tube of hand cream that he claims always smells like you. 

During the faculty New Year celebration, you overhear one of the new hires make a move on Gojo. You aren’t bothered by it or anything, simply walking past to sip your sake by the couch. You can hear them talk a bit from the kitchen, but you try not to pry despite how curious you are about his response. 

Until—

“I’m taken,” you hear Gojo say bluntly. 

Everything rings in your ears after that. The countdown music is loud, but your heart beats louder; there are murmurs and footsteps around you, but only one man crouches down to check on you, glass of water in hand. 

You snap out of it and see blue, the sky—a familiar light; you don’t think you can control the smile on your face, the alcohol lowering your inhibitions to paint on something lovesick. 

And when he smiles back, pink lips stretching wide—oh your heart can’t take it. He places one hand on your knee, rubbing gently. You hear it faintly, how he asks if you’re okay, but all you can do is nod, words failing to express how you feel right now.  

The countdown starts. 3 — and you take his face in your hands, squishing his cheeks to an image of him on your phone from many, many years ago. 2 — you go closer and his eyes go wide, a mixture of panic and surprise, but soft at the same time. 1 — you lean in and his eyelids fall shut, his chest on rampage. Then it lands, there, on the tip of his nose: a delicate peck and the smell of sake mixed with mint (like the lip balm you always carry around in your pocket). 

When you pull away from him, you’re smiling the biggest he’s ever seen, and he can’t feel it from how numb his cheeks have become, but he’s doing the same. 

.

.

.

That kiss to his nose serves as the catalyst to the months that follow: Gojo becomes more comfortable touching you now, and though he blushes every single time, there’s nothing to be ashamed of because you do too. Shoko can’t believe the slow burn this is taking you both, having watched this on the sides since you were both 22, but you think you like it—like the slow drizzle of honey on Gojo’s favorite breakfast waffles. 

“How is it?” you ask, watching as Gojo takes a big bite. 

“D Beft.” he replies, mouth full as he chews. You take the seat beside him and take a spoonful. 

“There’s a secret ingredient.” you say mischievously, wiggling your eyebrows. 

He swallows before he scoffs, “What?” cutting up another piece, “Love?” 

You’re surprised because he says it so casually, and Gojo’s never talked about love, has never even mentioned the word since this shift in your relationship. He realizes a beat late by the expression on your face and gets flustered, thinking immediately of ways to brush past it. 

You had meant to say that you used that infused sugar he buys whenever he goes to Kyoto, but… you suppose love works too. He should know by now, right? 

“If it is?” you whisper, pretending to stir your coffee. 

Gojo doesn’t know how to approach this, really, but he’s come too far to back out now. He clears his throat, mentally running through what he wants to say, then, “Good. ‘Cause that’s what I put in your coffee too.” 

You laugh and the tension dissipates; there are hearts in your eyes for how hard Gojo has tried after denying himself of this for so long. 

He stares at you—at the laugh lines by your eyes and the soft curves of your lips, the moment moving much too slow, stop motion in his mind. He’s drawn in until you’re all too close, a few centimeters from your noses touching. 

Your laughter dies and your cheeks feel like they’re on fire; he’s so close you think he might kiss you. The signs are there—his eyes scaling your face to focus on your lips, his tongue peeping ever so slightly to wet his lips. 

So you wait. 

But he doesn’t, because he moves away after wiping his thumb on the side of your mouth. Even though you know there was nothing there. 

Gojo continues to eat, blabbering about a site visit he’s assigned to next week, but you don’t miss the way his ears are fully red and how he’s biting his lips to death.

.

The tension this time is different; instead of a growing rift, you can’t seem to be close enough. Every time you part ways, he lets go of your hand more reluctantly—as if he wants to say more, do more, but stops himself while he still can. 

When he leaves for missions, you kiss his cheek, pull him in by the hand and linger there, shyly. He gets embarrassingly red but tries to cover it up by telling you not to miss him too much (even though you know you will, and he knows he’ll miss you more). 

Your near-kisses with Gojo happen more frequently, and it comes to a point where he even manages to land one on your forehead, while you fall asleep next to him on his office couch. 

It’s driving you crazy, this tension—the mixed signals of it all. You try to kiss him a few times on the lips, but he evades them each time. You’ve caught Gojo staring at your lips more times than you can count; if that isn’t a sign, you don’t know what is. 

Now that Gojo thinks about it, he’s come so far yet the prospect of kissing you properly still scares him. What if he fucks up? Doesn’t do it right? What if it’s not how he wants you to be kissed? 

There’s that secret Gojo will never tell you, of how seeing that look on you has never gotten him more afraid. And he’s worked through that now, but it’s evolved into something else: how Gojo is now afraid of love, more than anything else, not because of loss but because he might not know how. 

And kissing you, loving you this way—he’s never done it before, doesn’t know how to make you feel love without his lips shaking and heart palpitating; how to do it while letting you know he feels the same. 

.

It happens during an assignment out of town. Curses aren’t as bad as they used to be, but they’re still stronger than what any of the available sorcerers right now can handle. 

You don’t remember the last time you saw Gojo use his technique that way—almost forgotten how powerful and ruthless he can be. Every time since, holding your hand, keeping you close—he’s just been your Satoru. 

Your apartment for the weekend is a two-bedroom unit with one bathroom and a decently sized living area and kitchenette; Gojo always chooses the room in front of the bathroom because he tends to wake up in the middle of the night to pee (information you know from your many other assignments with him before). Still, going as what you are now—it feels different. 

There’s a charged air between you as you move around the unit; you make your nightly tea while Gojo looks through the groceries for some crackers. It’s peaceful and quiet—domestic almost, but there are goosebumps on your skin for reasons you can’t explain. Being around Gojo lately has felt that way.

He brushes past you to throw the finished packet of crackers and the feeling intensifies; it’s not awkward, just tense, like anticipation sitting deep in your bellies, waiting on each other to make the first move. 

He announces that he’ll use the bathroom first, if you don’t mind, and you motion for him to go ahead. Your mind is fuzzy and having Gojo around seems to only make it worse.

When you walk past the bathroom and straight to your room, you hear Gojo humming that soft pop tune from a popular girl group on the radio earlier. You giggle, thinking it’s sweet—how he sings obnoxiously around everyone else but is admittedly pretty good when it’s just him, alone. 

You still have the rest of the weekend in this area, having agreed to monitor the site and any nearby locations for other suspicious activity, but at least the worst of it is over (maybe just to you though; Gojo hates paperwork). 

The sound of running water stops and you hear the bathroom door swing open. You don’t see Gojo when you exit your room but he leaves the door open to release any remaining steam.

There’s a reason why people say showers are good for the mind. You’re happy for those who’ve found it, but that couldn’t be you, because the only thought plaguing your head right now is Gojo—and whether you should greet him goodnight, if you should kiss his cheek or hug him tight. The tension between you now is palpable, an electric current waiting to zap on both ends. 

Your mind is so out of it that you don't realize you’re missing your skincare bag until after you finish brushing your teeth and dressing for bed. You open the bathroom door with the sole intention of going back to your room to get it, but instead, you’re met with a wall of chest.

Gojo’s eyes are wide, bright blue with damp strands of white falling like curtains barely shielding the sky. He’s just as surprised as you are, toothbrush in his hand as you hold up the towel wrapped around your head. 

You’ve seen Gojo in his pajamas many times before—white long sleeves with gray cotton pants, but your eyes trail to his collarbones and the way the bathroom lights cast it under a soft glow. The redness on his cheeks, a visual manifestation of the heat on yours. 

Gojo can’t stop staring at your lips, at how soft they look—at how soft you look fresh out of the shower. The little baby hairs sticking out under your towel are cute, and he leans in without knowing—a pull he can’t seem to resist. For once in his life, Gojo’s mind is still. 

You try to meet him halfway, tiptoeing, but you’re a little out of your element; you don’t know where to put your hands and your heart’s about to explode out of your chest. When your noses touch, you can’t breathe, closing your eyes while you wait for it. 

But it doesn’t come. 

You feel Gojo’s breath stilling before speeding up into little exhales. Something is wrong. You open your eyes and find him staring back at you, a version of Gojo you haven’t seen in a while—that you rarely see ever, except that day during your confrontation in his office. 

Concern laces your features and you move back a little, hands coming up to caress his cheeks. His eyes still look frantic, but they focus on you when you cup his face so gently. 

“Satoru,” you whisper, voice grounding. His breaths slow down a little. 

You realize that it must be true then, what they say, that those who love to be feared, fear to be loved, because you’ve never seen anyone afraid of something so good as Gojo is of this. 

“Satoru,” you repeat, massaging his temples with your thumb, “we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

Gojo hates it, how you’ve always had to adjust for him. He hates that he can’t give you this one thing, hates that you’re still so patient, that he’s still so afraid. He swallows, closing his eyes tight before opening them again. 

“I want to,” he chokes out, “I just don’t know—”

You chuckle, without judgment, “I don’t either,” you lean forward, foreheads touching, “but do you want to try together?”

You learn that Gojo sees himself so differently from how you do—and maybe that’s everyone, but Gojo tends to say things while doing the other. He says he can’t bother with kids, but continues to take so many of them under his wing anyway; he calls your cereal concoction disgusting but tastes it regardless; and he says he can’t think about love, doesn’t know how, but proceeds to try so much harder, everyday. 

When you look at Gojo, you see a heart so big, so capable, that he can’t see it himself. 

You nudge his nose with yours and he breathes deeply, closing his eyes once again. If he doesn’t do this now, how much longer ‘till he does? 

Gojo hums before nodding his head slightly. His hands come up to cover yours, toothbrush wedged in the spaces between his fingers; they’re clammy, he’s sure, but he’s kept you waiting long enough. 

When you kiss Gojo for the first time, everything trembles—his pupils, his lips, the breath he takes. It’s all shaky and nervous, but your lips touch and all you know is that you like it there. He’s a little bit stiff but you don’t mind, pressing closer just for a little bit before pulling away. 

Gojo keeps your hands in place, half-lidded eyes staring at you lazily. His ears are fully red now but he’s giving you a look you’ve never seen before—like lightning crackling in the gaps between his eyelids. 

When you kiss Gojo for the first time, you don’t expect it to be by the bathroom door of a rented apartment, while away on a mission. You don’t expect it to be in your pajamas, towel wrapped around your hair as you’re getting ready for bed. You definitely don’t expect him to guide your hands down his neck while he places his on your lower back, squeezing lightly before pulling you in to kiss you again. 

This time, his lips move more pliantly, parting yours slightly; he tastes mint, mixed with the strawberry candy he had earlier and it’s nothing he could have ever imagined before, but is now everything he’s ever wanted. The push and pull between you is magnetic, soft lips and the intermingling of held breaths. All Gojo can think of now is to take, to devour—to keep you with him, like this, always. 

You wonder if Gojo is lying—that he’s never done this before, because you don’t think you can kiss anyone after this and not think of his lips on yours. 

By the time you part, the air is significantly warmer. Your fingers thread through the hair at the base of his neck and you smile, sighing. Gojo looks warm, with his swollen lips and flushed cheeks. 

“That…” you trail off, nudging his nose. 

Gojo looks at you fondly; to ever even think he could have this now, with you—he doesn’t believe in any higher being but you must be his prayer come true. 

“We can practice a bit more, I think.” he pulls you closer, hands gripping your hips. 

You feel it against you, something solid and firm against your stomach and your eyes go wide at the realization; Gojo does the same. 

“Satoru, you–” he moves back and freezes, untangling himself from you completely. There’s a faint outline on the crotch of his pants and your whole face goes red. 

“Let me use the bathroom real quick.” he panics, rushing past you and closing the bathroom door. 

You stand there stunned for a good minute before you shake out of it, laughing. Gojo yells about how you’re being so mean, making fun of him when he’s like this, but you aren’t—not really. 

It’s been a long time getting to this point with Gojo, but considering all things, you think, this might just be the beginning.

thank you notes: i would also like to shoutout @stellamancer for leaving such lovely comments on dybil that it actually kinda pushed me to write this longer piece connected to it!!

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡