#seighdra and crow

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Has to share another one of my screenshots from my gameplay.

Slowly but surely, I am getting caught up with my fanfic.  I have 11 more chapters to post, and I only just started writing Act 3 of Echoes.  Ugh!  But I guess it helps that The Festival of the Lost didn't start this week like usual, and I also have the 1st act done for Revenant so I can spend more of my time writing.  Hopefully, I'll catch up and start writing Revenant next week.

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Because to me it is a reality from reality. I pour my soul into it because it makes me happy. I world that I created in my own shattered world.

I love it when people take fic writing seriously. I love when it's not 'Here's this dumb thing I wrote' and instead it's 'Here's this thing I put blood, sweat and tears into. Here's this thing I slaved away at, trying new writing techniques and editing over and over. Here's this dialogue that kept me awake at night. Here's this beautiful turn of phrase I thought up. Here's this thing that I wrote with vulnerability and heart, and I am proud to share it with you.'

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

I have never been happier in my life than right now. Now I wish he wasn't hanging around Amanda's place, but I will take him on the Tower and not hidden in the H.E.L.M. like a dirty little secret.

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

He doesn't remember

Weeks had passed, but Seighdee was still reeling from seeing Uldren again.  The look in his eyes had been so cold, so unfamiliar.  Anger and hate burned in his amber gaze – emotions that once had no place between them.  The knife he held to her throat had been steady, as if striking her down would mean nothing. 

What had happened to him?  What had made him so bitter, so full of loathing for another Guardian? 

It hurt more than she could put into words.

The entire encounter replayed in her mind like a bad B-movie – distorted, surreal, painful.  He wanted nothing to do with her.  To him, she was just another Guardian, another nameless face.  She should have been greeted with friendship, but instead, he had only met her with disdain. 

Why?

The love of her life, her husband, was now a stranger.

Her Uldren, now a Guardian.  The one thing he had despised most in the universe was the very thing he had become.  Was it some cruel joke?  Some cosmic punishment?  She didn’t know.  All she knew was that she still loved him.  

But… he didn’t love her.  

Not because he had moved on.  But because he couldn’t remember.

Seighdee curled up in her bed, silent sobs shaking her frame.  She wept for the man she had lost, her heart aching beneath the weight of it all.  A part of her longed to return to the Reef, to seek him out, to force him to remember.  But she knew better.  The other part of her just wanted to forget him entirely.

But how could she, when their children slept down the hall?

Every day was a constant reminder of what she had lost.  Every time she looked at her children, the ache sharpened.  Uldwyn, the spitting image of his father, made it all that much worse.

How was she supposed to pretend Uldren wasn’t alive? 

But was he? 

His body still walked, still breathed, but his mind – his memories – were no longer linked to her.  He was alive, but he wasn’t hers.

Her heart ached with the cruel contradiction.  How was she supposed to go on without him, knowing he was alive.

Tonight was one of the hard nights.

Tears soaked into her sleeves, her eyes swollen and red.  She clung to her pillow, muffling her cries, drowning in grief.  Over and over, she whispered his name in her mind.

Uldren, I miss you.  Uldren, I need you.  Uldren, I love you.

From the shadows, Raven watched. 

He had witnessed too many nights like this since Seighdee had crossed paths with Uldren again.  She didn’t know he was there, but he stayed, watching over her in silence.  He knew how much she had loved Uldren.  He also knew that Uldren did not remember her.  And Seighdee was struggling to accept that.

Raven didn’t understand why she had remembered her past upon her resurrection.  He knew why Uldren didn’t, it was the Traveler’s way.  But he knew she longed for something that could never be.

Eventually, exhaustion won.  She drifted into uneasy sleep, but the tears didn’t stop.  The nightmares took over, replaying his death in an endless cycle.  Her sleep was restless, tormented.

That was when Raven moved. 

He settled beside her, humming a low, soothing tune.  It wasn’t much, but it was enough.  Slowly, she calmed.  The nightmares faded.  

For the rest of the night, she slept peacefully.

By morning, nothing was said.

Seighdee didn’t acknowledge what had happened, and Raven didn’t bring it up.

Today was a new day for Seighdee.  But for Uldren, another day where he didn’t remember.

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Today, my brain is super focused on this man. I can NOT believe we do not get to give Crow cookies this Dawning! I am so upset about this. Just look at this precious face, like why Bungie?! We love to stuff this man with all the cookies, and I would love to be stuffed by... oh never mind. I feel so cheated this Dawning. I just want to spend every waking moment of my life thinking about this man. I need a new hobby, wait a minute, no I don't.

Hope you all enjoy this beautiful man.

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Thank goodness, because I thought my dragons were a little much at first. Now I'm glad I added them.

If you ever second-guess yourself about including some unrealistic frivolous whimsical bullshit in your stories, just remember that nobody notices the absence of unrealistic frivolous whimsical bullshit, save for like 5 people who are determined to deprive both themselves and also everyone they encounter of any enjoyment in life. The people who read stuff that should have talking dragons and planets with two moons in it and think "it sure is nice that this thing has no stupid unrealistic bullshit in it, like talking dragons or planets with two moons" are not the people you should seek to appease.

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

For all the followers I have that read my fan fics. I thought I would show you my Stardust and The Crow fic. That is 92 tablets of paper and those are all the pen refills. I think I threw 3 away, but I usually go through 1 refill every two tablets, give or take. My Starlight Corvid story I type up firsthand. But this...this right here is my baby. I have been writing it since around May/June 2021. Anyway, I thought I would share.

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

I just had to give a little sneak peek at chapter 250 of Stardust and The Crow. I know I still have 7 chapters in between, but this gave me so many feels. Especially, when listening to "Endlessly" by Amaranthe while reading it.

A few hours later, Seighdra woke feeling somewhat rested.  She stretched, then quietly stepped out of the room and made her way downstairs.  Searching for Crow, she headed to his office, but the space was empty.

“I think Crow is in Orion’s room,” Peyton said as she set the table.

Seighdra gave a small nod of thanks before turning toward the stairs.  Moving softly, she approached the children’s rooms, pausing as she reached Orion’s door.  She eased it open and stepped inside, her gaze falling on Crow rocking their infant son in his arms. 

He hadn’t noticed her yet.  His voice was low, tender, as he sang to Orion – her lullaby.  Seighdra leaned against the doorway, simply watching.  The rhythmic sway of Crow’s body as he cradled the baby, the gentle hum of his voice, the soft glow of the nightlight casting delicate shapes in the shadows – all of it filled her with warmth.

She had watched him like this before, long ago, when he was Uldren.  He had always been a devoted father, but seeing him now, in this quiet, intimate moment, melted her heart.  Their lives had changed so much since those early days of parenthood.  The years had reshaped their world, altered their paths in ways they could have never foreseen – but one thing had never wavered: Uldren’s, Crow’s, unwavering love and compassion for his family.

Seighdra let out a contented sigh, drawing Crow’s attention.  He turned slowly, still rocking Orion, his voice never faltering in the lullaby.  She stepped forward, and without hesitation, her voice joined his, their melodies intertwining in perfect harmony. 

When Orion finally drifted into a deep sleep, Crow carefully laid him in his crib and pulled a blanket over him.  “I think he’s out,” he whispered, brushing a gentle hand over the baby’s tiny form.  “Come on, let’s let him rest.”

With a soft touch, Crow placed a hand on Seighdra’s back, guiding her into the hall.  As soon as the door closed behind them, she turned and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

“Hey,” Crow murmured, concern lacing his voice as he felt her trembling.  “What’s wrong?”

Seighdra shook her head, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze.  “I’m fine,” she assured him with a small smile.  “It’s just… memories.  Lately, so many have been surfacing.”

Crow exhaled softly, pulling her closer.  “Oh, my Stardust,” he whispered, holding her tightly. Seighdra closed her eyes, resting against him.  “I just remember watching you back then,” she murmured, her voice barely above a breath.  “Back when you were Uldren… how you’d rock Radiance…” her voice dropped to a whisper, remembering Uldren's and her three deceased children.    “Aenyra, Ziyal, Thadeon.”

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Stardust and The Crow ch 225: Crow's not ready for this

As he watched his eldest, minor, daughter, the realization hit him again like a tidal wave: the tiny baby girl he had delivered over 12 years ago was no longer that little girl.  She was growing up – too fast, it seemed – and there was no stopping it.

“Hey, is it our turn?” Targaryen asked as he and Uldwyn strolled into the family room.  “Uldwyn wanted to join in on the fun,” he added with a smirk.

“Oh boy, look how grown up you two look,” Crow said, turning his attention to his sons.

“Very handsome, just like your dad,” Seighdra added warmly.

Uldwyn struck a pose, planting his small hands on his hips.  “All the girls are going to love me,” he declared with cocksure confidence.

“Yep, just like your dad,” Seighdra teased, breaking into a laugh.

“Seighdra,” Crow groaned, whipping his head toward her, though a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

She giggled, undeterred.  “What?  It’s true.  You couldn’t keep the girls away when you were younger.  Don’t tell me you’ve erased those memories from your mind.” Her laugh grew louder.  “It was so annoying.”

“Oh, come here,” Crow said, grabbing Seighdra and pulling her into a playful hug.  “You’re the only one for me.”

Targaryen, watching his parents, interjected, “Do you like them?  Uldwyn’s and my clothes, I mean.”

Seighdra glanced at her sons, smiling.  “Yes, you did a great job helping your brother pick out clothes, Targaryen.”

The fashion show continued for another twenty minutes, filled with laughter and playful comments, before the family wrapped it up and headed for dinner.

 Later that night, while Seighdra had Raven and Glint sorting through stored baby clothes, Crow decided it was the perfect time to talk to her.  He entered their room quietly, watching as she meticulously set up the pack-and-play and arranged everything for Orion’s eventual return home.

“Hey, Seighd, can we talk?” Crow asked softly, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

Seighdra paused, mid-task, and turned to him with a furrowed brow.  “Oh boy, I don’t like the tone of your voice.  What’s wrong?”

“Come here,” Crow said, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting the spot beside him.

“Crow, you’re scaring me,” she replied hesitantly, her stomach twisting with unease.  Still, she reluctantly joined him, sitting down on the bed.  “What is it?”

read ch 225 on ao3

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Seighdra and her man, Crow. My favorite picture of these two. He guards her from behind and is always there for her. Seighdra also gives her man all the love he can take.

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

As I was standing at my front door today while my son was unlocking the door, I looked down and realized that I still have my 'Merry Christmas' mat out. As we walked into the house, I said "I think I am going to have a door mat made with the phrase "Welcome to my Crow's Nest." I don't think my husband was too fond. ha ha ha

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Stardust and The Crow ch 241: More of the same

Eido gave her a small, appreciative nod as Seighdra moved toward the tonic table to begin working on a few mixtures.  But as she approached, she found Crow already there, leaning casually against the table, arms folded and a familiar smirk on his face. 

Seighdra hesitated, unsure of what to think, then decided to ignore him and focus on her work.

Crow, thinking he was being cute and never one to miss an opportunity to tease, chuckled softly and said, “You do smell like jet fuel and basil.”

Seighdra’s head snapped up to glare at him.  “It wasn’t funny the first time you said it,” she snapped before turning her attention back to her work.

Crow, undeterred, continued to watch her with amusement.

Seighdra placed the mixed tonic in the machine then gave it a taste test.

This time she wasn’t so lucky; she transformed into a frog.  When the spell finally wore off and she returned to her usual self, she was furious.

“Fuck!” she yelled.

Crow, however, burst out laughing.  “So, this is what everyone’s been talking about,” he said, still chuckling.

Seighdra shot him a fiery glare, her patience completely gone.  With a huff, she stormed out of the lab, brushing past her team.

“Seighdra!” Crow called after her, but before he could catch up, she dematerialized.

Crow stood there, bewildered.

“What’s going on with the two of you?” Jevar asked, walking up beside him.

Crow sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Honestly, I’m not sure.  We’ve had… disagreements about a few things.  I guess she’s still upset.” He paused, glancing toward the doorway she’d left through.  “I’d better go after her.  I’ll see you guys later.”

With that, Crow left the laboratory, leaving the others to exchange puzzled looks.

read ful ch 241 on ao3

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Stardust and The Crow ch 239: Uncharacteristically, trying to prove her point

Seighdra woke to the sound of knocking on the office door, accompanied by Orion’s piercing cries.

“Mom, will you open the door?  Orion’s crying,” Hailey’s voice called out, muffled but pleading.

Seighdra stayed put, crossing her arms.  Raven floated near the ceiling, his gaze unsure.

“Mom, please,” Hailey begged.

Seighdra rolled her eyes, rising with a sigh.  Unlocking the door, she stepped into the family room.  Peyton stood in the center, cradling a screaming Orion and looking frazzled.  The other kids sat at the dining table, dinner half-eaten, their attention fixed on the commotion.

“Did you try changing him?” Seighdra asked mockingly.

Peyton looked at her like she had grown another head.  Both knew exactly what he needed.  But Seighdra was going to prove her point that there were somethings that only she could do for Orion right now.  “Of course I did.  Seigh –” 

“Well, did you try rocking him?”

“Seighdra,” Peyton said firmly.  “I’ve been at this for an hour.  He won’t take his pacifier anymore.  He’s hungry, you know that.”

Seighdra turned her gaze to Bradren, her tone sharp.  “Well according to Bradren anyone of you can take care of Orion and meet all his needs to keep him from crying.  I’m not needed.”

Read full ch 239 on ao3

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Celebration of Light

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Stardust and The Crow ch 238: No rest for the wicked

Seighdra, Crow, and their family gathered at the Tower to celebrate the final night of the Festival of the Lost.  Lindsey and her children joined them at the Wall of Remembrance, where they all offered prayers for their departed friends.  A special tribute was made to Amanda and Cayde, friends who had once been close to Seighdra and Crow. 

As Seighdra glanced at Crow, she noticed the melancholy etched in his eyes.  They had spoken about Amanda during their time in The Pale Heart, but the conversation had left an air of unfinished business.  Cayde’s memory, too, lingered heavily – Crow had grown close to him, and the loss of that friendship weighed on his heart.

“Crow.”

He turned to her with a small, cracked smile.  “I’m good,” he replied, though the emotion behind his words betrayed him.

Seighdra reached for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.  “I miss them too,” she murmured.

Their quiet moment was interrupted by the sudden, chaotic sounds of wailing dolls and exasperated teenagers, cutting through the somber atmosphere.  The adults couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Dammit!” Bradren muttered under his breath as his doll began to cry.  He fumbled for the bottle and started feeding it.  “Mom, can we please go home?  This is so embarrassing.”

Missy, less vocal about her frustrations, began feeding her own doll.  Her exhaustion was evident as she sighed.  “She never stops crying, and it’s worse at night.”

Seighdra chuckled silently, rocking back and forth as baby Orion snuggled against her in a kangaroo wrap.  “Babies aren’t easy,” she said knowingly.

Bradren let out another groan.  “Are we done yet?  I just want to go home,” he scoffed.

Crow, watching his son’s expression shift as he tended to the doll, couldn’t resist.  “Hey, Seighd, how about we grab something to eat?” he teased.

Bradren shot his father a glare.  “You’re not funny, Dad.”

Crow laughed, clapping a hand on Bradren’s shoulder.  “Relax, I’m kidding.  Donnavena has dinner ready at home.  But the look on your face was priceless.”

“Come on,” Seighdra added, smiling.  “Let’s get home.”

With that, the family began their walk back, laughter softening the bittersweet night.

read full ch 238 on ao3

[jillybean-seighdrasov]

Seighdra and Crow. (Just picture her with long curly hair.)