#seek joy whenever you can because the world will smack you down on its own

[havingfurrythots]

Kindness Spreaders and Recreational Haters are meant to be one and the same;

I feel like there's a misunderstanding between these two philosophies.

The Kindness Spreaders preach unending positivity, and treating everyone with respect and decency.

The Recreational Haters want to free themselves of false positivity and speak their truth.

I think these two sides are of the same coin, and neither can be performed perfectly without also embodying the other.

If you never speak anything but compliments and platitudes, they either lose their meaning, or you start to separate specific phrases semi-conciously for referring to things you genuinely feel good about, and those you do not. It chokes your emotions, you bottle up your feelings, and you burn out and become resentful. Good doesn't exist without Bad to define it, and trying to warp your perception of reality into only positivity isn't sustainable.

On the other hand, only Hating is also unhealthy. You get to vent, and keep your head clear, but it can drag down those around you, and if you aren't careful you'll start tearing apart the people and things you love. It can also create a sort of negative feedback loop, like a maligned Cognative Behavioral Therapy. Thought patterns of skipping past critical analysis directly into Hate can form.

These two sides should be embraced together.

If you allow yourself to Hate, you will find your Love becomes more tangible. Hate Recreationally; let yourself vent about the truely awful things, and throw harmless shade at dumb shit. Know that hating on the inconsequential is a method of emotional regulation, it's not a form of sincere criticism! Likewise, you must Spread Kindness to everyone you can. Even if someone is kind of a dick, that doesn't mean they're Problematic. If someone is rude, don't escalate it unless they've crossed a significant line. If they're genuinely malicious, Meet Violence With Violence. Punch Nazis or whatever. It's fine. Just remember that someone rubbing you the wrong way (METAPHORICALLY) isn't grounds for Cancelling them. Feel free to trust your instincts though, and if your Fash alarm is going off then mute/block them or hit the bricks and get out of there.

Anyways, the point is: being nice almost always matters. Hating doesn't have to be a serious affair.

Naturally, there's a good bit of finesse to all this, but I believe in you. You'll figure it out. Observe the impact your Kindness has on Others, and watch for the effect your Hating has on Yourself. Don't let it consume you, but don't reject it outright either.

Emotions require eachother's contrast to exist at all.

Trust me, I'm an expert (Adult with Borderline who's been through half of the psych meds on the market before finally coming off mood stabilizers [I still take other stuff, don't just quit your meds ok? {I'm not fucking dream}]).

Now go forth and Live.

[texanredrose]

This got longer than I expected. Based on @dashingicecream‘s angsty Elderburn pic from the RWBY Rock!AU. Because I apparently can write things other than ridiculous fluff. Once again, sorry for being late.

Winter stood in front of the hotel room door staring at the wood with her hands curled into fists at her sides, silently commanding it to bend to her will and admit her entry. Quite frankly, that somehow promised to be an easier task than convincing her girlfriend to open the blasted obstacle, and she was putting considerable effort into not taking that personally.

To some extent, she understood. Yang had retreated from the rest of the band- the rest of the world, really- in the wake of the attack and trauma of that severity left long, deep scars on a person. The blonde had always preferred handling her issues in secret so as not to burden others; she was the first to offer help and the last to accept it. Winter always thought of it as charming and selfless but now it vexed her to the core because, where before she'd stood as an exception to that rule, now she was perhaps the one it applied to most of all. Her girlfriend refused to accept her calls, the hospital staff wouldn't let her visit since she wasn't family, and Ruby's attempts to bridge the gap had stressed the young woman out almost to capacity. Weiss wasn't much help, either; she was too preoccupied with Blake- also recovering from injury- to boss the drummer into not being so difficult. Winter couldn't fault her sister for that.

However, being shut out like this... it troubled her more deeply than she could've imagined. She was a Schnee, after all, and burying her emotions was almost as natural as breathing, but that wasn't Yang. More to the point, another's actions could never actually hurt her in this sense, but the drummer had always found ways around her defenses. So genuine, so sweet, so caring- she was always caught off guard when those lilac eyes shone with a tender emotion, the blonde's expression somehow managing to become what she didn't even realize she'd longed for until she found herself melting, and a surprisingly gentle touch despite her loud and brash demeanor. With Yang, there was always a joke that destroyed any chance of her keeping a straight face and the most comforting sincerity whenever the older woman felt the need to scrutinize the world around her, seeking some form of subterfuge. Her girlfriend was honest and open and so filled with love; to be denied any contact with the blonde was painful, like a literal knife in her chest that twisted further with every unanswered call, every text message sent into the void.

Winter had to confront her, if for no better reason than to assuage the worry that lingered in the back of her mind that Ruby was downplaying her sister's condition, that Yang was far more injured despite being released from the hospital. Being denied that was robbing her of sleep, a thousand complications plaguing her with the absence of physical proof that her girlfriend was at least still alive. She had to see with her own eyes and she was prepared for it but she hesitated for a moment more. Indecisiveness was unbecoming yet she couldn't help but consider all the options and the worst case scenarios played in her head: that the blonde's condition was far worse than she'd been led to believe or that her girlfriend was no longer interested in her company. Between the two, she'd take the latter despite how much it would devastate her personally; anything that meant Yang would, in time, be okay was a good outcome to her mind.

Delaying herself no longer, the woman raised her fist and knocked hard three times, each bang against the wood sounding like a gavel calling the court to order before laying down a sentence.

On the other side, she could hear some shuffling, but it was faint- movement around the room coming closer to the door and then nothing for a long, agonizing moment before the soft thump of something- or someone, rather- slumping against the door.

"Leave me alone, Winter." Yang voice was muffled through the solid wood but discernible all the same. She sounded tired and angry- the sort of grumpiness that typically accompanied a massive hangover and an early flight.

Although she was accustomed to the blonde's occasional sour mood, they often passed swiftly, either genuinely turned around by the ever present cheer that seemed to run through her and her sister's blood or shoved behind a fake smile. That didn't deter the former soldier, though; she'd hardly be a girlfriend worthy of the title if she just left now. "Yang, open the door."

"No."

"Yang, please," she said, trying not to let her exasperation shine through. It was endlessly frustrating being shoved away like this, being held beyond arms' length for some reason she wasn't allowed to know. "I just want to talk-"

"Nothing to talk about." The weight against the door shifted. "Ruby already told you everything."

"She told me what was in the police report and that you were hurt; that's hardly everything." Winter could feel the urge to glare at the door- as if intensifying her will to have the barrier removed would somehow make it happen- but refrained and kept her voice calm as she continued. "What can I do to help? Is there anything you need? Want? I can fetch you anything."

"Nothing, no, no, and no... and I'll be fine." There was a hint of a growl around the words; the blonde's anger was the sort that burned quickly and bright, scorching whoever was foolish enough to spark it. In past incidents, Winter had found it amusing, watching the panic appear on the face of the poor soul foolish enough to incite the drummer, but being on the receiving end was certainly a new experience. "What's it matter, anyway? I'm done. My life... the one I had, that's gone now."

"Don't talk like that." Her voice softened and she took a step closer to the door, laying a hand on it and wishing she could actually hold the other woman. "This isn't the end. A road block, perhaps, but-"

"There's no 'but' Winter. I'm done." There was a harsher thump against the wood, like a closed fist smacking against it. "I lost an arm. I'll never play again- there's a lot of things I'll never do again. That part of me is gone."

"There are prosthetics available-"

"So I'll be a fake instead. Great."

Winter took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Her agitation was getting to her and even her impressive self control was reaching its limit due to the worry plaguing her, growing with every second the barrier remained between them. "Yang, open the door; let's at least speak to each other face-to-face."

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm your girlfriend!" She snapped, immediately chastising herself; the last thing she wanted to do was add guilt onto the pile.

"Yeah, well, not anymore." Winter went stock still, breathing catching in her throat as the bottom of her stomach fell away. "You deserve better than some washed up has-been. I'm not even a whole person anymore. So just- just go and leave me alone."

Shock turned to fury, tempered only by her resolve. However, she no longer had the patience or the control to keep the icy cold anger out of her voice.

"Yang Xiao Long," she said through gritted teeth, hands once more clenched at her sides as ice blue eyes quite nearly bored a hole through the wooden door. "If you are truly attempting to break up with me, at least give me the courtesy of doing so to my face. I deserve that much."

Silence. It grated on her nerves now more than ever; the mansion she'd called home for far too long always seemed blanketed in quiet, thick and stifling, but this was so much worse.

Eventually, the weight against the door disappeared and the lock slid away. Then, a crack- a sliver of view- before opening fully, allowing Winter to finally see the blonde for the first time since the attack. She looked awful- dark circles beneath her eyes making them seem cloudy, born from lack of sleep, and her hair was disheveled, not in the wild way that was the blonde's style but as if she hadn't properly brushed the flowing locks in days. Her lips were pulled into a tight frown, anger and hurt darkening her countenance in equal measure, and it was painful for Winter to see such an alien expression on her girlfriend's face. Eventually, her gaze was drawn to the knot tied in the jacket sleeve just about where the blonde's right elbow used to be, hiding the stump that remained bandaged beneath.

"There. You get it now?" Without the door to muffle her, Yang's anguish came across much stronger, morphing into anger with every subsequent word. "I'm... I'm not the person you knew. Everything I've worked for is gone and I don't know what to do with myself. So just... just accept it." Her left hand went up, reaching for the edge of the door in obvious preparation to close it. "I'm not your girlfriend anymore. I'm not her anymore."

Winter immediately stuck out her arm, bracing it against the wood as her brows furrowed. Like hell she'd be sent away so easily. "You are Yang Xiao Long- you always have been and always will be. That only changes if you let another's hate make that decision for you."

"Listen-" The drummer stopped short, having raised her right arm on reflex, likely to jab a finger into the older woman's face. Lilac eyes widened at the unconscious action, falling to the space where the lower part of her limb should have been before closing tight as she turned her head away. Yang always hated crying in front of others over herself- a sad movie or from joy, that was fine, but hiding her pain came second nature after dedicating herself to setting a good example for her sister. "This isn't something you can fix, Winter. There's no fixing this and this isn't what you signed up for, so just go."

"This is exactly what I signed up for." She took two steps forward, crossing the threshold and watching her girlfriend intently. There was no longer the threat of a door being slammed in her face and some of her own anger had melted away as she processed the blonde's words, softening her expression and her voice. She wasn't rejecting Winter; she was expecting the other woman to reject her, which the former soldier had no intention of doing. "I didn't enter this relationship under the pretense that it would only apply so long as things went smoothly. I would never be so crass. Taking the good with the bad is part of the deal and I fully accepted that when we started this."

Yang watched her out of the corner of her eye, body rigid, still ready to forcefully close the door despite the fact it would do her no good. The older woman was inside the hotel room now, which looked like a small hurricane had hit it.

Half eaten takeout boxes littered every flat surface, a testament to Ruby's attempts to at least ensure her sister got some nutrition. The guitarist was off dealing with their agents at present- canceling the rest of the tour, while a decision looked down upon by the suits, was adamantly demanded seeing as the remainder of the band absolutely refused to perform without Blake and Yang on stage with them- and, to put things bluntly, she needed the break; despite being related to her, the blonde's stubbornness could only be rivaled by the sheer inflexibility of a Schnee. Aside from that, a bag was laying half packed on the nearby sofa, signs the woman had struggled to fold or at least bundle up her clothes one handed and became frustrated with the task. On the counter next to the sink in the kitchenette were two empty liquor bottles- the same two the drummer kept on hand for celebrating after a show. If she had to guess, they were likely poured down the drain; she could easily see her girlfriend swearing off alcohol for fear of again being caught so off kilter as she had the night of the attack. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, to her mind, but neither did Winter approve of drastic changes in habit purely from lingering guilt.

"So... that's it? You're just going to... pretend like nothing's changed."

"In the context of our relationship, nothing has changed, Yang. Not from where I'm standing." She sighed, running a hand through the bangs that often obscured her right eye. "Frankly, I'm just glad you're-"

"Don't say it." The blonde gritted out, voice thick with unshed tears as she moved away from the door. Her gait was unsteady and offbeat, lacking her usual confident swagger, but all that seemed to matter to the blonde was that she'd turned her back on the former soldier, left hand crossing over her stomach to grip the empty length of sleeve. "Don't tell me I'm okay. I'm not. I'm not alright with- with this."

A break in her voice on the last word made Winter's heart clench painfully, willing to risk a sharp rebuke in exchange for offering comfort. She strode towards the younger woman, whose shoulders were shaking slightly with the force of holding back her sobs, and lightly turned her around, pulling her girlfriend into a loose embrace. It wasn't returned at first but the dam had broken and, with every unsuccessful attempt at holding herself together, the blonde became that much less reluctant. With one arm carefully holding Yang around the waist, she moved the other to the woman's face, gently cupping her cheek and encouraging their eyes to meet, nevermind the tears wetting her hand.

"I won't try to tell you your pain isn't justified, Sundrop," she said, daring to use the pet name she'd given her girlfriend hardly a month ago. "I won't say this is going to be easy or that I can begin to imagine what you're going through, but I'll be here for you, with you, regardless." She paused. "I love you."

It was the first time she'd said the words. Not for lack of intense emotional attachment to the blonde, no, she'd been ready to say them for a while now, and it still surprised her at how willing she was to do so. Schnees safeguarded that phrase better than any physical asset they owned and she'd hardly heard it growing up. Weiss had it a little better, perhaps, because joining the military brought with it some harsh truths and some terrifying moments and Winter had made it her mission to ensure her younger sister knew where they stood should the worst come to pass. Now, she regretted not saying them sooner to Yang, for clinging to that foolish notion that holding her tongue would somehow lend special meaning to the words, but if the way the blonde immediately sobbed hard and clung to her white jacket, bunching the fabric as her knees threatened to buckle, they already were special.

"L-liar." The drummer choked out, crying harder as she fought with herself, evidently torn between leaning into the older woman's touch and pulling away.

Winter couldn't help but sigh, ducking her head slightly to press a kiss against the blonde's temple. "Yang, I'm not lying. I know exactly what I'm getting into and what I'm saying is the truth." She rubbed her thumb along one cheek, brushing away tears even as more fell. Her girlfriend was breaking right before her eyes but she refused to turn away and abandon her when she was needed most. "The road ahead is long, it will be difficult, and I will be with you every step of the way. No matter how many times you stumble or feel like there's nothing left, I will be there for you to lean on for support. I love you and I will never give up on you, I promise." She did not make promises lightly. Even if she'd left the service nearly a year ago, the soldier in her would always hold a bit of disdain for words when actions were more appropriate, but she intended to spend however long it took backing this one up with every fiber of her being. "So please, don't give up on yourself. For me?"

Finally, Yang looked up at her, watery lilac meeting clear, calm blue for just a moment before the blonde's eyes shut tight and she practically fell into her arms, burying her head into the former soldier's chest. Relieved she'd finally broken down the last barrier, Winter held her girlfriend tenderly, wrapping both arms around her and weathering the hiccuping sobs. She gently pressed kisses to the top of Yang's head as the minutes dragged on, until the crying trailed off into sniffles before she finally spoke.

"Okay. I'll try, but... but I still don't know what I'm going to do." The blonde burrowed further into her embrace, whining in distress when her left arm alone couldn't pull the older woman's form against her tight enough, the stump of her right lending hardly any support. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"And you don't have to, not right now." She trailed a hand along Yang's shoulders, following the right down until she could rub the bicep soothingly. Squeezing would risk aggravating the injury, which she would want to inspect with her own eyes soon to ensure it was healing properly. Her military training came with more than a passing knowledge of field medicine but it was no match for a doctor's knowledge; at the same time, she somehow doubted her girlfriend was entirely cooperative with the medical staff. "We'll take this one step at a time. Heal now, then we can start looking at a suitable prosthetic. Maybe there's one that will allow you to play again, or you could learn to play one handed- we can explore the possibilities when we reach that point."

Yang pulled back just enough so they could look at each other, as if still skeptical of her sincerity. "When did you become an optimist?"

"Around the time I met you, strangely enough," she replied evenly, lifting the corner of her lips into a small smirk and pleased to see that some of the shine was returning to those lilac eyes that were usually so full of either mirth or mischief. A thought occurred to her then and, despite the potential for it to backfire, she took the risk. "You know, you might not be alright now, or for a while yet, but you will, one day. We'll make sure of it, together." She took a short breath before continuing calmly. "You'll be alright, in time, because I cherish what's left."

Immediately, the blonde's expression fell and she closed her eyes, slowly leaning forward until her forehead rested against Winter's collarbone. And then she sighed heavily. "It must be genetic; you Schnees are absolutely terrible at puns."

"I beg your pardon. That was a perfectly serviceable pun." The former soldier furrowed her brows, feigning offense for a moment before allowing a small smile to grace her lips. "Besides, I thought Weiss was doing better."

"Bad is better than terrible, but it's still not good, Snowdrift." Yang grumbled, though there was no true anger in her tone.

All in all, she considered that reaction mission accomplished, especially seeing as the blonde didn't discourage her when she lightly brushed away the last evidence of her tears. "Well, setting aside my apparent inability to be punny-" she didn't miss the way her girlfriend's shoulders shook ever so slightly at that one "- I think it's high time you took a bath. You reek of sweat and antiseptic."

"Not my fault none of the nurses would give me a sponge bath," the blonde replied, though there was an undercurrent of regret that didn't go unnoticed.

They could talk about the ill effects of the separation later, as far as she was concerned. The woman's health was her first priority. "Seeing as I'm your nurse going forward, I'm afraid you'll find no lack of willingness on my part." She drew away slowly, ensuring Yang was recovered enough from her brief breakdown to stand on her own. "I'll go start the bath." She cast a dubious glance at the bed. "Meanwhile, I want you to call the front desk and request housekeeping come refresh the linens. I'll not have you getting into a dirty bed once you're clean."

"It's three in the afternoon."

"And you need to catch up on your sleep." Winter pulled out her phone, sending a quick text to Ruby to apprise her of the situation. That should help soothe the younger sister's worries, for a time at least. "Once you've had a nap, I'll order us some food."

"Talk about a tight schedule."

"You are working very hard to talk yourself out of cuddles and a movie after dinner."

"... I'll go call the front desk." They both nodded, each turning towards their respective task when the blonde suddenly called out. "Hey, Winter." Nearly at the bathroom's entrance, raising a brow as a smile curled her lips. She still looked like the past week was the roughest of her life- which it was, without a doubt- but Yang was giving her a small smile, not as big as her usual cheer but sincere all the same. "I love you, too."

The moment she registered the words, the former soldier's smile widened as warmth erupted in her chest. Forgetting the bath for a moment, she closed the distance between them in a few quick strides, pulling her girlfriend into a gentle kiss.