#seeing my books in the author's hands is literally a dream come true

[chubsonthemoon]

AHHHHHHHH I'm SO happy they made it safely!!! Absolutely bonkers seeing them in your hands, friend <3 Thank you so much, as ever, for your kind words about all the details; truly, the highest compliment for a binder when someone notices the little things!!

And oh gosh YES holding fic in meatspace is just. WILD and I'm so glad that you get to experience it now with your own writing. I adore every word in those books, and I'm so happy I can communicate even a little bit of that love back to you, and that you get to hold it, now and forever! (and AHHH YES thank you soso much again @fishfingersandscarves for letting me include your beautiful art!)

<333!!!

BOOKS, GUYS

@chubsonthemoon​‘s bound TWO(!!!) (one and a SURPRISE EXTRA ONE) pieces of my Sandman fanfiction and they got here in the mail, and they are the most perfectly gorgeous pieces of bookbinding! Please excuse the slightly dodgy cellphone camera quality, but - look! Look at the gorgeous stitching, and typesetting, and the absolutely perfect way the bindery mark nestles into the gold marbling on the binding paper! (Also, thankyouthankyouthankyou again to @fishfingersandscarves​ for the gorgeous art and for letting Chubs add it in.)

I was going to put them on my bookshelf and stare lovingly up at them and feel very much like a real writer, but so far I’ve mostly just carried them around the flat with me so I can behold them in my direct line of sight at all times. They are about 20 cm. from me on the couch as I type. I can’t really get pictures of how nice the raised lettering is or how satisfyingly smooth the edges are, but it IS and they ARE.

Thank you so much, Chubs it’s so, so kind of you - I love these books, and getting to actually physically hold these stories feels deeply surreal and wonderful all at once.

[tess-talks-inc]

On the Topic of Telemachus’s age:

First off preface lmao I’m a stranger on the internet if you want to see this and be like “I don’t care” more power to you this isn’t to condemn it’s more like my explanation? I guess? Of why Telemachus being represented as an adult is important to the context of the story and also to me.

Like obviously once again I acknowledge artistic interpretation, and Telemachus being young is important to the story as well and is part of the role he serves as a comparison to Odysseus, but like sometimes the way some artists draw him makes him look pre-pubescent and like… I understand what you’re doing, and honestly I respect it and I hope you are having fun, but I am holding your hands when I say that him being a young adult with that attitude is so so so important to his character and his relatability.

Adulthood isn’t something that magically appears one day, taking all of your dreams, immaturity, and weakness away. Telemachus embodies that- at twenty years old, he should be inheriting a portion of his father’s house and assisting in its running. He should, for all intents and purposes, have been a full and functional independent adult looking at purely his age. However, he is both literally and mentally stuck in limbo- his father is lost, so he cannot inherit in the case of his father’s death because Odysseus’ status is MIA, and internally he knows (literally mentioned book 1 of the odyssey and in Legendary) that if he reaches for that authority as an adult, the suitors will kill him. He doesn’t feel like he can, or that he is even on equal standing to the suitors as an adult man, he cannot see himself as one like they are, and it’s why he imagines his dad doing it instead. He wants to be saved, a childlike desire, even though he has advanced to a point where he himself can do something physically. That’s why, in the odyssey, Athena tells him explicitly that he can do something about the suitors, and lays out a plan for him. She says that he is no longer a child to his face, and the Telemacheia thus begins to be a coming of age story in which he matures, and later is registered as a threat of the suitors. He is a young adult yes, and he still has aspects of his young self (idealization of his father, daydreaming, him being quick to frustration), but him being an adult who realizes that he can do something and can understand the way he is childish is important and central to his character arc.

His arc is him growing into his skin, adulthood no longer being something that fits him like loose clothes and only a description of his physical state, but something that now is tailored to him, something that feels close to right.

Honestly, I think this aspect of him being an adult while still holding onto these aspects of childishness is where Legendary and We’ll be fine falls short in adapting his character. I understand why, because while he is introduced he is not the true central character of the Saga- it’s Athena and how he affects her, that’s what’s most important. Also, once again, he was just introduced. He’s not matured yet, but he’s realizing he needs to. I still love the songs and the saga, because it’s a good adaptation that poses interesting questions, but yeah. Telemachus is v clearly a young adult and that hasn’t translated over sound yet, which I think is why this whole age debacle is happening alongside the uwu-ifying of the man.

TLDR: Telemachus is a young adult and he acts like it due to his blend of childishness and slowly gained maturity. You can draw him and see him as a child if you want, have fun with it, but at least internally understand how his 20 years of age plays into his arc a of him maturing into manhood outside of your own interpretation of him :D

[junnylunny]

no one noticed

!pairing- bestfriend!jay x reader x ex!sunghoon

! synopsis- you see your first love at your high school reunion just to feel every emotion you once felt with him again. your bestfriend however reminds you that you deserve to be treated better.

: ̗̀➛ you are now listening to "no one noticed" by the marías ´ˎ˗

includes- angst, heartwarming fluff, fake scenarios, acts of service, love triangle ༊*·˚

word count- 1.7k

warning!- this is au and none of these actions are true and are purely for the story.

- - - - -

author's note: i feel like i owe this one to you guys! my last ff was made last minute and i didn't put my all into it so here is something to make up for it (thank you to those that still enjoyed it). i've also been trying to post at least once a week so enjoy this bonus :)

- - - - -

"y/n~ i heard there's going to be a high school reunion this month. you're coming right?" jay asked. you had moved away to los angeles, california, to pursue your dreams of becoming an actor while most of your high school classmates remained in washington. although you had many friends during high school, jay was one of your closest friend and had always kept in touch with you, despite the long 10 years you were gone.

"i didn't even go to the first one. what makes you think i'll go?" y/n joked.

"oh come on. it'll be nice seeing everyone for once." jay begged. "or you can come up to just see me," he teasingly said.

you stayed silent for a moment, thinking seriously of whether you should or not. being reminded suddenly of your hard work led you to think that maybe it was the perfect time to take a break for once.

"fine." you gave in.

"finally," jay relieved happily.

"you know what. i'll book the ticket for you." he insisted.

"do as you wish," you happily took his offer.

in a matter of time, you talked to your manager about going to the high school reunion and took a flight back to washington.

"y/n!!" a familiar voice yelled outside the terminal. it was jay.

"hi!!" you hugged jay with one arm while your other hand held tightly to the cap on your head. your manager had warned you to not get caught in the airport by any reporters, making you a bit anxious but happy all together. jay had immediately pounced on you when you hugged and was squeezing you to death.

"let me go," you laughed, tapping his back as if he was putting you on a choke hold.

"i’m glad you made it here safely. come on. let's go," jay said, finally releasing you and petting the top of your cap. “i’ll take your suitcase.��

you and jay arrived at his neighborhood, leading you to feel nostalgic. jay had decided to buy a house near the school instead of moving far, allowing you to see the school while driving past. you rolled down the window, taking a closer look at the school; the building looked renovated, having a more modern look with a nice touch of a mowed lawn.

"wow, this place has changed a lot," you noticed.

"it has." jay said, continuing to drive.

"what are you going to wear later?" you asked, rolling the window back up.

"something casual. did you pack something nice?" jay asked.

"of course. this super star has to always look good," you joked.

the afternoon swept past quickly as you and jay reminisced about the past, causing you guys to hurriedly dress up when realizing it was time to leave.

"thank goodness you live close to the restaurant," you said, hanging your gold earrings.

"mhm," jay agreed, styling his hair.

"i'm done!" you grabbed your bag from the couch.

"let's go," he said, swiftly grabbing his car key as you both rushed out the house.

jay slightly stepped on the speed, trying to be cautious of the neighborhood kids, but trying to hurry as well. "omg we're literally 30 minutes late," you exclaimed in the car. jay pulled up to the restaurant, finding all the parking lots to be filled.

"it seems pretty packed. go inside first," he said, putting the car in park for a moment.

"see you inside," you said, unbuckling your seatbelt and heading inside.

as you quickly entered the restaurant, you immediately saw your best friend, sooyeon.

"omg is that the famous y/n?!" she exclaimed. "hurry up, come in and eat!" she motioned for you to sit. you smiled happily at her, glad to know that she still remembered you, making your way over to her table.

as you made yourself comfortable, you saw a familiar face across from you. it was sunghoon. your eyes uncontrollably widened, awkward yet surprised. you had forgotten everything about this man. sunghoon was your first everything: kiss, relationship, love.

"hey y/n," he welcomed you.

you felt unfamiliar with his attitude. “is it because i'm famous now?” you thought to yourself. you and sunghoon had ended on a bad note. you had found out something unreasonable that finally broke you guys up. this however not only made you form a hatred for him, but the other way as well. you guys would avoid each other at school and left high school without any good-bye messages.

"hi." you awkwardly said. “did he forget what he did?” you thought to yourself. 

"did jay come with you?" sooyeon asked, butting into silence.

"yeah he did." you said, avoiding sunghoon's eye contact.

"he can take my seat. i'll sit next to sunghoon." sooyeon offered.

"thanks," you said, looking down at your hands, fidgeting with them.

"i'm here!!" jay blasted the door open.

"yo jay!" everyone welcomed him.

your eyes lit back up, glad jay came before it got more awkward.

"come sit here!" sooyeon guided him next to you.

as jay was about to sit, he noticed sunghoon sitting across from you. "oh shoot." he said with his eye.

"i forgot my polaroid in the car." jay said. "can you get it for me? wouldn’t want to miss taking a photo as a memory." he said, giving you the car key. "i didn't park far."

"yeah sure," you said, getting right up. you rushed out of the restaurant, making your way to his car to grab the polaroid. you slowly walked back inside, hoping that you had cooled off your anxious feeling.

"y/n! i switched seats with you if that's ok," jay said, welcoming you back in.

"that’s fine," you said, taking a seat.

"it's been so long y/n~ how have you been?" sooyeon asked while cooking the meat. jay cut some pieces of meat from the grill and placed them on your empty plate, listening to the conversation simultaneously. 

"i've been pretty busy," you awkwardly laughed, unable to fake an expression like you usually did with work. "thanks," you quietly thanked jay.

"you should come more often. we've missed you." sooyeon said with pouty lips.

"haha. i didn't know," you awkwardly smiled. you noticed sunghoon looking at you, but tried your best to not make eye contact with him, unsure how to react.

"you look prettier," sunghoon suddenly butted in.

all eyes darted at him. "what?" you confusedly said.

"babe~ why would you compliment someone else?" sooyeon asked in an annoyed tone.

sunghoon ignored her comment. "i said you look prettier y/n."

you stared blankly at both sunghoon and sooyeon, the table becoming silent.

"i'm going to the restroom," you said, getting up.

in the bathroom, you scoffed at his answer, overfilling with anger. “i look prettier? what makes you think it's ok for you to say that after all these years?” you thought while washing your hands. “what the heck was sooyeon also saying?”

why was he being so confusing? what was with the change of attitude? you kept questioning yourself. as you headed out the bathroom, you saw sunghoon waiting for you, leaning on the wall. he was looking down at his shoes until he noticed you taking a closer step.

"i'm sorry if the comment earlier made you uncomfortable," he said, walking up halfway.

"it's whatever." you said, finally making eye contact with him.

"okay. i'm glad." he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"so you've been busy?" he asked, continuing the conversation.

"yeah." you said blandly.

"hey-" you butted before he spoke anymore.

"why are you acting like this?" you asked.

"like what?" sunghoon questioned.

"like this. we haven't spoken for a while and now you're talking to me as if we're old pals." you said with a slightly angry tone.

"aren't we old pals?" he scoffed.

"no. we're not," you said sternly. "if you're just here to play with me then stop."

"i'm not here to play with you, y/n." he sighed. "i'm sorry for how we ended. i thought maybe we could work things out again when we were happy with our own paths."

"i'm sorry to pop your bubble, but that's not happening." you confessed. "it's been years sunghoon. you ruined this for us." you said.

"no y/n." he sternly said. "i haven't y/n. i never did. let's work things out." he said, grabbing onto your wrist.

"sunghoon. let me go!" you said, trying to push him away.

jay suddenly came out of nowhere, removing sunghoo’s hand from your wrist.

"you're disgusting," jay said before taking your hand and walking out.

"get in the car," jay said, opening the passenger door for you. you entered the car, fazed by how sunghoon acted. “was he really trying to work things out?” you thought. jay began the engine and drove with an angry expression on his face.

"are you okay? what’s wrong?" you asked, already feeling frustrated by your feelings but sensing jay had more to say with the look on his face. you turned your body to face him, checking in on him.

jay quickly pulled to the street and parked abruptly. "because." he began but paused. "because he's such a dick..." he hesitantly said while looking down.

"i know that, but is that all?" you asked.

"y/n." jay began once more. "he's seriously a dickhead. he's been dating sooyeon for years after you left." he confessed. 

"so he lied," you said, leaning back on the passenger seat.

"yeah. i don't know why he had the balls to do that right in front of everyone too." jay said.

you sighed, tracing back all the bad memories with sunghoon. during the winter break of senior year, he had cheated. you guys had planned to spend christmas at your family's place, but he had canceled last minute due to a cold. sad that he couldn't make it, you made him homemade chicken soup to lift up his mood but another girl was in his bedroom, already doing just that and that was your final straw with him.

"i'm so stupid," you said, fidgeting your hands again.

"no, you're not. you just didn't know." jay said, holding your hand to stop your squirmy hands. 

"it's okay. i'm here for you." jay gave you an assuring look.

"thank you." you said, glad he was by your side.

"you didn't eat at all. let's go somewhere nice," he said, mustering up a smile and starting the engine.

“you also need to fix that habit of yours,” he said, looking at your hand.

"thank you for noticing everything." you said.

"hm?" jay said, not hearing you the first time.

"no one noticed but you." you repeated.

[porcelainseashore]

Teenage Headache Dreams (2)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: High School! College! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Fem! Reader

Summary: You’re a bored, but ambitious high school student who can’t wait to escape small town life and make it in the big city. You thought you had it all figured out, until you unwittingly befriend the resident golden boy, Leon. A series of events beginning from junior year to college until Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Ambiguous/Open Ending

Content: High School AU, College AU, Pre-Resident Evil 2, Fluff, Romance, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lack of Communication

Author's Note: Cliché alert and mostly fluff in this chapter! There’s been a mini time skip, but I wanted to show that Reader x Leon became fast friends in the meantime and are relatively comfortable with each other. I made Leon a lot cheekier this round, but I feel like he uses mischief to mask his true feelings.

AO3 Link

Chapter 2: More Than Meets the Eye

The first couple of weeks of the new term had already flown by and managing your tight schedule of school work, actual work, dance and cheer practice left you with literally no time for anything else. Sighing as you yanked open your locker to retrieve your school books, a familiar figure popped up at your side, slouching against the metallic compartments with a loud thud.

Without even turning your head in its direction, you already knew who it was. “Hey, loser,” you called out, smiling inside.

“Hey, yourself,” came his gruff reply.

As you finally faced the culprit, you and Leon laughed at each other’s greetings.

“So, since it’s a Friday, wanna hang out and watch something tonight?”

Both of you had been almost inseparable until school started, and that’s when you guiltily kept postponing your regular meetups in favor of working on your future goals.

“Uh… I don’t think I can.” You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. “I seriously need to get some studying time in and I have cheer practice after school.”

“What was that again?” He put a hand to his ear, listening for something non-existent and pausing for dramatic effect. “All I heard were excuses.”

“Hey-”

“Come on, relax.” Placing his hand on your shoulder, he gave it a tiny squeeze. “School’s only just started. You’re gonna burn out if you keep going like this.”

“Leon…” It came out a lot whinier than you intended.

His eyes widened as you caught a brief glimpse of something devilish in them. You knew it was too late to stop the bullshit that would come out of that filthy mouth any second now. 

“Mm, say it like that again.” Ah, there it is.

Groaning internally, you smacked his hand off your shoulder playfully. “Ugh, you know there’s no way-” 

You turned your head around, checking behind you before lowering your voice. “-I’ll ever get outta here, if I don’t push myself from the start.”

He straightened up a little as he considered your words. “You hate this place that much, huh?”

“You think?” It came out almost as a whisper.

“Shame,” he muttered. “Well, tell you what,” he glanced quickly to the side before looking back at you. “Since you’re so damn keen on this study session, we could do that and then grab some burgers after. Maybe even a movie. How’s that sound?” He puffed his chest and looked almost victorious, as though he knew it was an offer you couldn’t back out of.

Fuck Leon and his persistence. “Yeah, fine,” you grumbled as you shut your locker in defeat.

Once again, that smug grin flashed across his face. “Great, so uh, see you at 5?”

“Mm hm, library,” you nodded reluctantly.

“By the way, your girl gang is here,” he motioned with his head in the direction behind you. “Guess that’s my cue to leave.” Before you could respond, he had already walked ten paces away.

Nobody likes gossip. Ever since you had started hanging out with Leon, people talked and they assumed many things. How far the rumors reached, you didn’t know, but you didn’t want to ruin things between the two of you. You cursed small town gossip under your breath. This was probably one of the few genuine friendships you had, so you tried to keep things as lowkey as possible. Thankfully, Leon agreed to play along. For now.

You tightened your grip on your books as you spun around, plastering a bright smile across your face as you greeted your teammates, who were still sporting tans from their holidays and bubbly chatting with each other.

“Hey, babe,” Kayla, the cheer captain, moved in to give you a quick hug. You caught a whiff of her tropical-scented, coconut vanilla perfume. “So where did your boy run off to?” She winked, giving you a side smile. The other girls around her immediately broke out in hushed whispers.

There wasn’t anything malicious about her question. In fact, your teammates were nice enough, but they could be rather superficial and nosey. You tried to downplay it with a look of confusion in your eyes, shaking your head as you remarked, “He’s just a study partner, Kayla.”

Some giggles broke out and your ears burned. Great, they didn’t buy that a single bit. Defending yourself would just raise more suspicion, so you unhappily resigned yourself to the fact that you were probably doomed for the rest of the term.

“Yeah, whatever.” Kayla waved her hand dismissively. “Was about time anyway, and he’s quite the catch.” She licked her lips suggestively, but quickly added, “Not as good as mine though.” Of course, her obnoxious football boyfriend. You tried to hide your grimace. 

Flipping her shiny, raven-colored locks, she continued, “Still, very cute. I approve.”

Your mouth ran dry. Why couldn’t they just mind their own business? You swallowed your anger as you tried to change the subject. “Um, cheer practice at 3, right?”

She snickered, seeing right through your act. “Yeah, same as always.” She turned to leave, wiggling her fingers as a form of goodbye. “Oh, and you’re leading warm-ups today. Ciao, babe.”

You could hear audible groans coming from the rest of the team as they trudged off with Kayla. They definitely weren’t looking forward to your intense warm-up session, but to you, warmer bodies meant lesser injury risk and better preparation for stunts and routines. Pursing your lips at the less-than-ideal conversation you just had, you tried to shove it to the back of your mind as you hurried off to class.

━━━━━━━━━━━

As you flung open the double doors leading to the school’s indoor gym, you were greeted by the unfamiliar sight of another group you didn’t exactly recognize next to your cheer team. It seemed like Kayla was speaking to their coach, as she nodded a bit too enthusiastically - a nervous habit she displayed when she was irritated but didn’t want to show it. Slowly, you inched closer to listen in on their conversation.

“There must have been a double booking-”

“I’ll sort this out with the admin right now,” Kayla offered.

“It’s just going to eat into practice time. Anyway, this lot won’t need much space today. Functional training.” He sucked his teeth and gestured towards the group. That’s when you spotted Leon, sitting at the side with his arms across his lap, chatting merrily with another girl on his team.

Just my luck, you sighed, folding your arms as the coach continued, “I’m sure you girls won’t mind sharing?”

You saw Kayla clenching and unclenching her fists as she hesitantly agreed to the proposal. With that, she spun around and called out shrilly, “Ladies! We’ve gotta share the space. We’re taking this half.” She drew an imaginary line with her arms as if to stake her claim, before brushing past you seething, “They always think they can sideline us, like we’re not important.”

At this point, Leon made eye contact and waved over. The girl beside him suppressed a laugh and you weren’t sure whether she was embarrassed or making fun of you. Furrowing your brows, you gave a hasty, lopsided smile before heading over to your side of the gym, making a mental note to question Leon about that exchange later.

Wasting no time for further pleasantries, you proceeded to blast your high-energy mixtape on the cassette player as loudly as possible, secretly smirking as you heard the coach swear under his breath at the intrusion.

“Ok, everyone! Let’s get those heart rates up!” You hollered, running through the exercises as they copied you dutifully, breaking out in a sweat and panting furiously. 

Your eyes filtered through the crowd, checking for anything they could improve on, as you continued calling out prompts. “You can lift your legs higher than that!” Hm, that sounded rather… You ignored that prickly feeling at the back of your throat and continued, “Face up, not to the floor!”

When it came to the stretching section and the music toned down, you suddenly heard the unmistakable yell of a reprimand being given from the other end of the room. “Kennedy! You can stare at girls after training!”

Wait, what? Your head darted in the direction of the bellowing. Sure enough, you saw the coach glaring at Leon, who seemed pretty flustered as he denied the accusations with a feeble “I wasn’t!”, which was met with roars of laughter.

Really, Leon? Getting distracted by a bunch of cheerleaders? You were oblivious to what actually happened there and decided to pay no more attention to it. Instead, it was time to go through the routine and fortunately you were relatively decent at compartmentalizing.

“Alright, a few things I wanted to point out,” you began. “This part’s looking good, but it would start off even more amazing, if you frame your body like this.” Adjusting your shoulders with your arms slightly back, profile tilted a smidge upwards, you angled yourself in a semi-diagonal position, shifting your weight towards one leg as you lengthened the other for the prep stance. The other cheerleaders shuffled around, attempting to imitate what you showed.

Kayla motioned for you to demonstrate the full sequence before she took over and you obliged. “Ok, watch me.” You danced through the routine dynamically, hitting all the accents and flowing through the softer parts more sensually. Whipping your hair around as you transitioned from a body wave into a hip roll, you swung the pom poms above your head at the same time and trailed them across your body.

It all seemed to happen in a haze, but after coming out of the next spin, you somehow ended up holding a gaze with those same piercing blue eyes that had caused you so much trouble today. They widened and flickered, but didn’t break away for what felt like an eternity, until-

“Leon Scott Kennedy! I swear to god!”

Uh oh.

“You either train, or you can leave!”

Leon’s cheeks flushed bright red as he bit his lip, stammering, “Sorry coach, won’t happen again.”

You’d never seen Leon get this unnerved, which concerned you. He emanated a natural sense of confidence and was usually laid-back to the point where nothing could ruffle him. In any case, you were also sure as hell everyone heard and saw that commotion, especially since a number of students were now looking between him and you, mumbling to each other.

Nothing could beat the relief you felt when Kayla took over your position, as you stepped away from the center to join the rest of your team. Just when you thought you were in the clear, one of your teammates scooted over to you, whispering seductively in your ear, “Ooh he definitely enjoyed the show you put on.”

━━━━━━━━━━━

The minute practice ended, you bolted straight for the restroom, just so you didn’t have to deal with anyone else for the time being. Hiding in one of the cubicles for a good 10 minutes until you could hear the last footsteps trickle out of the hallway, you unlocked the door and stumbled over to the wash basin, splashing cold water on your face. Checking yourself one last time in the mirror to make sure you looked presentable, you inhaled a deep breath before exiting and making your way towards the library.

From afar, you could see Leon waiting patiently outside of it, as though he fully trusted that you would still show up after that little stunt he pulled earlier. Walking gingerly towards him, you cleared your throat.

“Oh, hey. So… what’re we studying today?” He asked casually, while browsing through his pile of books, as if nothing had happened.

“Math. Definitely Math,” you concluded, also pretending to ignore the white elephant in the room. “If that’s ok with you?”

“Sure, I suck at it. So why not?”

The study session went by rather sluggishly and uneventfully, with both of you going through equations after equations and figuring out the logic together. It was a wonder you could concentrate at all with the events of the day playing back in your mind like a broken record. 

You were thankful for Leon’s earlier suggestion of burgers when it was time to pack up to leave. He gave you a knowing smile when your stomach growled and you placed a hand over your belly instinctively, as you cast back a self-conscious glance. It seemed like he had thought of everything again, where you often had trouble remembering your own basic needs when you were lost in your schoolwork.

Both of you plopped down on the cushy, retro red seats opposite each other in a booth at the only diner in town, getting in your orders as quickly as possible. You suspected that he was just as famished as you, but trying his best not to show it. During the waiting time, the two of you caught up with and exchanged news on all the goings-on of the past weeks.

When your orders finally arrived, you snatched up your burger, devouring large chunks of it, while Leon looked on amused as he bit into his.

“Wuhhff?” You managed to cough out with your mouth stuffed with food.

Almost instantly, he mimicked your reaction, resulting in a fry being thrown in his direction, as he ducked to avoid it while snickering.

“Here, you got some sauce on your chin.” He reached out with a paper napkin, gently wiping it away, as his bright blue eyes bore into yours. That prickly sensation you felt earlier in the school gym started to bloom again, as you squeezed your eyes shut and cleared your throat. “Is it gone now?”

“Uh… y-yeah.” 

Fluttering your eyes open, you caught sight of him looking down at his plate, suddenly completely engrossed with his meal, as he chucked the used napkin to the side. You were quite certain you spotted a pink tinge dusting his cheeks while he slowly chewed his food.

The table grew silent as you muttered a quick, “Thanks.”

Giving it a few minutes before you attempted any form of conversation, you casually decided to bring up the topic you had both been avoiding till now.

“So…” you breathed, testing the waters.

“So…?” Leon questioned, raising an eyebrow, still munching the last bits of his burger.

“At the gym. What was that all about?” You picked at your fries nervously, as you felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through your body in anticipation of an answer.

“What do you mean?”

Ugh. He’s deflecting again. But you weren’t about to let this go so easily. “Don’t play dumb, Kennedy.”

Leon paused, and you could see the wheels turning in his head as he considered his words carefully. It only took a moment for his face to light up as if he hit the jackpot. “I got distracted, that’s all.” His signature smirk broke out across his lips, before adding, “By you.”

The boldness of his answer caught you by surprise, as you choked on your food. Patting your chest, you gulped down some water before sputtering, “Excuse me?”

All at once, he was back to his usual, composed self, as he remarked, “You dance really well. Can’t I admire that?”

“Um… y-yeah, I guess.” You weren’t sure how to respond. Coming from a background where dance teachers often gave you tough love and criticisms in an effort to spur you on, you never really learnt how to accept compliments.

“A ‘thanks’ would be nice.” 

Clenching your jaw, you wished you could wipe that stupid smirk off his face. Trying to approach it from a different angle, you blurted out, “But, people talk.”

Leaning back against his seat and placing his hands behind his head, Leon seemed unfazed. “So let them talk.” Noticing your frown, he continued, “What’s wrong if they think we’re dating? Am I really that bad to be with?” He mentioned it as if it was the most normal thing to say in conversation between two friends, and the worst thing was that you didn’t know how to counter that.

“No, you’re gre-,” you quickly corrected yourself. “I mean, you’re fine.” Sighing, you explained, “I just don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

His gaze softened as he reassured you, “It won’t, trust me.”

Since he was that calm about it, you decided not to pursue it any further. Maybe you were thinking too much into things. However, another question popped up in your mind. “Who was the girl you were speaking with back there?”

He propped himself up again, a little taken aback by the quick change of topic. “Oh, you mean Val? Yeah, we sometimes participate in relays together. She can be a real handful though.”

“She seemed to find me amusing,” you pointed out.

“Really? I didn’t notice,” he shrugged and scoffed down the remainder of his fries. You searched his eyes to detect if he was messing with you, but couldn’t find anything of the sort. “I told her about you.”

Well, that explains it. Crossing your arms, you prepared to release an earful until you were interrupted by the grinning idiot in front of you. “Do I even want to know-”

“I said…” He drifted off, taking his time to sip his soda, leaving you hanging on purpose. You subconsciously leaned in closer as your patience started to wear thin. He lowered his voice, presumably to utter something serious. “You’re the coolest kid I met over summer.”

“You’re such a dork!” You exclaimed, as you punched his arm lightly from across where you sat.

“Ouch! And here I am baring my soul to you.” He rubbed his arm melodramatically and feigned a hurt expression on his face, which only served to encourage you to taunt and play fight with him further.

Sometimes he could be so infuriating. But funnily enough, that was part of what drew you to him in the first place. 

━━━━━━━━━━━

It turned out that Leon had rented some VHS tapes from Blockbuster, so you had the choice of either heading to the local cinema for a late night screening or watching a movie from the comfort of his home. Naturally, you picked the latter. Going to the cinema together would seem too “date night”-like and you had endured more than enough gossip that day to last a lifetime.

You greeted his parents as they kindly let you and Leon hog the living room TV. Before heading upstairs to their bedroom, they gave a half-hearted reminder not to stay up too late, that they knew would go unheeded. They were friendly and way more relaxed than your parents, so much so you preferred hanging out at Leon’s place over yours.

After making some hot chocolate, you settled onto the couch as Leon popped the tape into the video player. Relaxing into the cozy atmosphere, you hugged the warm blanket he offered you and savored the steaming drink between your hands.

Unfortunately, the day’s events probably caught up to you, as your eyelids grew heavier as time went by and you were fighting a losing battle to keep them open. At some point, you must have drifted off to sleep and then accidentally used Leon as a makeshift pillow. He swallowed thickly, as you curled up beside him, resting your head against his shoulder and nuzzling his neck, completely unaware. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he was afraid he would wake you. Something made him instinctively wrap his arm around you, even though his mind was screaming to do the exact opposite. This is just gonna make things worse, he sighed, but he didn’t feel the urge to remove it and maybe he could get away without you knowing. So he let you sleep soundly until the credits ran.

“Hey.” He called out softly, as you stirred. “The movie’s over now.”

Blinking groggily, your vision was still blurry as you tried to make out where you were. You weren’t sure if you felt an arm around you or just the back of the couch, as you rubbed your eyes.

“You fell asleep,” he explained, as he let you go and tried to shift away from you as stealthily as possible, hoping you wouldn’t recall the previous position you were in.

“Hm?” You stretched your arms out, yawning lazily as you scratched your head. “Uh, what time is it?”

“Just past midnight.”

You jerked upwards, startled. “Shit, so late?” Your face swung in his direction. “You didn’t wake me?”

He bit his bottom lip, eyeing you apologetically. “You looked like you needed the rest. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

You buried your face into the bunched up blanket on top of your knees, groaning, “Ugh, my parents are going to kill me.”

That drew a faint laugh from him. “Don’t worry, I took care of it.”

You turned towards him with a puzzled look.

“I called them before-” he stopped himself abruptly, as you noticed him tense up.

“Before what?” You questioned out of confusion.

“Nothing.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and refused to meet your gaze.

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to figure out if something out of the ordinary had happened. It started off as a vague recollection of falling asleep, maybe leaning against something and the smell of fresh citrus and musk… which smells exactly like- Oh god, no. Your stomach dropped. The realization that you had snuggled with Leon in your sleep dawned on you and your head was whirling.

At this point, Leon knew you had worked out what happened, so he did the only thing he could do in such a situation. “Man, you were heavy.” 

That snapped you out of it and earned him a slap to his chest. “It was a joke, jeez!” He raised both hands up in defense and quickly moved to a different topic, “Anyway, as I was saying, your parents told me to walk you home when you woke up.”

“Oh… thanks,” you shook your head and sighed. “Sorry to put you through the trouble.”

He waved it off. “It’s really no big deal. I’m just glad I finally got to hang out with you again.”

“Yeah, me too,” you admitted. “This was nice.”

As you got up from the couch to prepare to leave, it seemed like Leon had another idea. Grabbing your wrist, he coaxed, “And?”

You knew what he meant and nodded in agreement. “And… I promise I’ll make time for this in the future.” A random thought flashed across your mind as you grinned cheekily. You had to get him back after all his teasing. “How about…”

“I’m listening,” he mentioned with a hint of suspicion in his voice.

“...we meet for more study sessions?”

It was his turn to groan, as you giggled uncontrollably. “That’s such a cop-out!” He responded accusingly. 

Placing your hands on his shoulders and bending down to meet him at eye level, you pleaded, “Come on, we could do something fun after too?”

Rolling his eyes, he rebutted, “You’re kinda driving a hard bargain here.”

You weren’t ashamed to play dirty though, so you turned on the best doe eyes you could muster, and insisted, “Please?” You knew he was a lost cause now.

“Damn it, that’s not fair,” he grumbled, though he eventually gave in. “Ok fine, but only if fun’s a guarantee.”

“Deal.” With that, you took his hand in yours, giving it a firm handshake.

[butyou-callmewhenyourebored]

This Must Be My Dream - Ross MacDonald Part 3

Summary: In which you're missing your boyfriend and it takes absolutely zero convincing from the girls to fly across the world to see your man.

Warnings: Swearing, vulgar language somewhere in the middle as there is the tiniest bit of smut.

Author's Note: This is the last instalment of this little universe of characters. A blurb might be heading your way if I get around to it! Hope you enjoy this final part!

Part One Part Two

3.3K Words

Since you joined them on their UK tour, specifically their Manchester gig where it was very obvious to anyone who laid eyes on the pair of you, that you were completely infatuated with one another. You were 100% head over heels for the 6’4” bassist and he you. Literally from that day on, you couldn’t keep your hands off him. You wanted him all the time not that he minded because he wanted you just as bad.

You’ve never had as much sex in your entire life. It was true when you said that when you finally explored every part of your relationship, that he’d ruin every other man for you. You didn’t want anybody else, you were insatiable when it came to him. I think it was fair to say that you loved the bones off of him.

But you also just loved coming home from work and cooking dinner with him, unwinding and talking about your day. Your life had completely changed and done a full 180 and you couldn’t have been happier for how quick your life turned around. Ross loved slowly invading your space; his favourite jumper over the back of the sofa, a pair of slippers finding their way next to the front door and a bag of his favourite coffee on your kitchen counter. You also loved just sitting with him whilst he practised bass and creating funky little riffs whilst you nursed a glass of wine and just listened to him play. You’d never seen anything hotter than watching him do what he loves; whether that be on stage or in his living room. You were completely obsessed with him.

You also became fast friends with Charli and Carly, the group chat you spoke about when you met them properly was very active as you gossiped about your relationships and the band in general or life problems you were all currently facing. There wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t talking to those girls. Girls you were very happy were now apart of your life, even though it was only a short time ago, you can’t remember what life was like without those two angels in your life.

Usually Charli was all up for a little juicy goss between you girlfriends but today it was less sex talk and more moaning about how much you missed Ross and how you felt at a loss without knowing he was going to be home for dinner because he was in New York for  SNL with the boys.

Charli

Girl I love you but you need to get laid!!!

You

Ohhh I have absolutely no problem with getting laid babe! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Its the fact the man I’d lay down my life for is on the opposite side of the world.

Carly

Let her be! Haha They’re in the honeymoon stage! 

You guys are so sweet, I happen to know he feels the same about you!

Don’t tell Adam I told you!!!

You

He told Adam that? 🥺

Charli

Girl how do you not know this? He’s so pussy whipped it’s ridiculous! 😂

Carly

He did! Ads is ridiculously happy that Ross has found his person!

You

I’m literally repeating ‘Don’t cry! Don’t cry!’ to myself over and over because I don’t want to cry whilst I’m with Denise and have her ask why I’m crying!

Carly

If you’re missing him that much, why don’t you go and surprise him?!

Charli

That’s an insane idea! I’ll come with you! I’ve got to head over there for an Oscars thing anyway, a couple more days in the US won’t hurt anyone!

Carly

I’ll text Ads, he’ll help with the surprise! X

Charli 

I’d ask G but he’ll probably forget what’s happening!

You

You guys! I love you both so much! 💕

Bitch get your suitcase packed we’re going to NY!!!

As soon as you got off the phone to the girls, you booked your flights and then FaceTimed with Charli as you packed your cases together. Struggling with what to pack, what was weather even like in New York in March anyway? Her only input was to just not pack anything considering “You’re probably not going to be wearing a lot once he sees you anyway!”  Which to be fair to her, it was a very valid point. Charli knew you both all too well.

After settling on a mixture of cute outfits; casual and a few fancier ones, she picked out her favourite lingerie sets that you owned and told you “If you didn’t get dicked down the moment he sees you. I’ll fuck you myself!” Which had you cackling loudly because you absolutely knew that wouldn’t be the case but you appreciated the confidence boost from her nonetheless anyway!

“Don’t let G hear you say that! He’ll start getting ideas!”  You smirked; as Charli giggled before finally hanging up the phone so you could get the rest of your shit together.

When you got into bed that night, you wiggled about in excitement knowing that in less than 24 hours you’ll be able to see your man in flesh made it almost impossible to sleep. Feeling a little frisky you pulled off Ross’ shirt that you had stolen and opened up your camera app and hit record.

Sending it off to your man, as a little incentive as what he was missing and how much you were missing him. You shot him a quick warning text.

Just off to bed, missing you like crazy!

Do NOT under any circumstances open this in front of your band mates!!!

I’ll kill you and trust me I’ll know!

I love you xxx

His response made you squeal in excitement! You couldn’t wait to get your hands on him!

Fuck baby! You’re already killing me!

Sweet dreams! Only a couple more days until I’m home!

I love you too xxx

When you touched down in the New York, you forgot the intricacies of travelling with a well known international pop star and the fact paps were already waiting at the airport to pounce on whatever poor unsuspecting celebrity had touched down in the Big Apple. Taking your suitcases you wheeled them on out of the airport alone and into the awaiting car as you waited for Charli because if the paparazzi ruined your surprise you were going to riot because you really wanted to pull this off.

Switching your phone off do not disturb whilst you were in the car, it buzzed with a text from Adam. 

Hope your flight was okay.

Had the hotel pop your name onto Ross’ room!

Also sent your man on a coffee run so I’ll meet you in the lobby! x

You couldn’t help but beam when you spotted your friend waiting for you in the lobby of the hotel. Rushing to pull him into a tight a hug, you were very grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann. “Thank you for doing this. It means so much to me.” You told him, once you got your keycard from the front desk, the three of you finally making your way to the floor the band were staying on.

“Yeah seriously! Thanks so much! She’s been so annoying at home!”

“You’re just as bad! Fuck off!” You shot Charli a glare although it didn’t last long because it sent you both into a fit of giggles.

“George is in his room.”  Adam told her; as he stepped out of the elevator onto their floor, the brunette waved over her shoulder before skipping towards her room. “Ross should be back soon. It wasn’t hard to get him out the hotel! You know what he’s like with his caffeine addiction!” He smiled softly at you with a chuckle.

Hugging him once more, you pushed open the door to Ross’ room, abandoning your suitcase by the bed. His open next to the desk that was housing a kettle and an arrangement of crap you knew he had fished out of his pockets before leaving the hotel earlier. Immediately rushing to the bathroom to freshen up before your reunion with your favourite member of The 1975. When you finally settled on the bed, you already felt at home as his scent had already started lingering on the sheets, making your head spin and you started to feel giddy at the prospect of seeing his face in the next few minutes.

You weren’t on your own for very long; about ten minutes after you got into something a little more comfortable (wink wink) you heard Ross’ deep dulcet northern tone on the other side of the door. “Yeah see you in a bit mate. I’m going to go ring the missus!” You sat up, you leant up on your arms when you heard the click of the door, Matty’s voice briefly ringing through the open space.

“Yeah, spare me the details. Tell the bitch to text me back though!”

The flutter of your heart as you heard your boyfriend’s giggle and then him scold him for calling you bitch overrides your life long friend’s need to constantly call you names, as you rolled your eyes. Your heart beat beginning to race as you heard the door finally shut and Ross’ footsteps get louder as he finally got closer to you. You bit your lip nervously, waiting for him to spot you laid out on the bed.

You probably would have laughed at the confused expression etched across his handsome features as he heard your phone ring within the room and him running into find out the source of the noise, if your heart wasn’t thumping against your chest the moment you clapped eyes on him.

Ross blinked repeatedly as he took in your appearance. The fact you were here in New York in his hotel room and not at home in Manchester. The skin of your lip caught between your teeth as you attempted to keep your naughty thoughts at bay but he just looked too good. Already putting his coffee down, Ross was striding across the hotel room and launching himself across the bed before you could even utter the words “Hi baby!” His large hands holding onto your jaw tightly and kissing the air straight out of your lungs.

“Fuck. Missed you so much.” He managed to mumble in between kissing you senseless.

“Missed you more.”  You moaned; arching into his touch, grabbing at his belt to get him as close as humanly possible.

There was definitely no need to take Charli up on her offer because the little clothing you had on was quickly being ripped off as you reconnected after nearly a week apart. The pornographic moan you let out into the pillows as his large hands squeezed at your arse cheeks, pulling at the flesh as he tried to get deeper was enough to make Ross’ grip on you even tighter and really drive home. Squeezing around him, your whole body lit up in tingles as he made you cum again.

Orgasms were always great but you’d never get over the way Ross made you cum like it was the last thing he’d do every single time. You shuddered at the emptiness as he pulled out, anybody else would be knackered after cumming three times but not you. He made you feel insatiable. You always wanted more. Pushing him on to his back; you climbed back on top, straddling his waist and wasting no time before sliding him back inside you where he belonged.

He always felt bigger, more snug if that was even possible when you were on top but the delirious feeling of dragging your pussy up and down his incredible cock, as you made him like this made your head spin as you rode him faster. Running your hands up his chest and through his chest hair that you loved so much, your hands found home either side of his head so you could lean down to kiss him. 

“Love you so much baby.” You murmured into his mouth. “Could do this forever.”

“Always good to me aren’t you love?” Your boyfriend groaned into your mouth at a particular slow drag.

Pulling you to his chest, arms securely wrapped around your waist to hug you in place, Ross planted his feet into the mattress before pistoning into you so fast all you could do was babble absolutely nonsense into the crook of his neck.

“Come on baby, know you can do it.” He whispered into your ear softly.

“I want it. Want you. Need it baby. Give it to me. I’ve been good.” You managed to get out in between moans and chants of his name, like it was only word you knew.

“You’ve already had me though. Had your mouth round my cock within thirty seconds of seeing me. Always make me cum like that don’t you angel and now you want more?” Ross taunted you, the little shit.

“Always want you. Love you so much.” You pressed your mouth to his in a deep kiss.

“You’ll always have me, I love you so fucking much.”

You didn’t think it was possible for him to go any faster but his words of affirmation and way his big cock was fucking into you, had you cumming hard with a loud moan and triggering Ross’ own orgasm, filling you up so much it made you feel delirious. Rolling off him, you snuggled quickly into his side, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, as you listened to his heartbeat beat erratically against your cheek.

It was moments like this that you loved almost as much as the sex, the man was incredible but you also just loved to love upon each other and talk absolute rubbish with one another. You couldn’t believe you had gotten so lucky. Ross thinking the same thing as he tucked a fly away piece of hair behind your ear, made you freeze as you just took in the sight of him, a sweet kiss to your forehead followed before he continued telling his story about the restaurant the boys went to the night before, that he’d love to take you to before you both had to leave each other again.

The two of you were in the midst of telling him about the flight over with Charli when Ross’ phone rang from somewhere in the room. Leaning over to rummage through his trouser pocket, you noticed Matty’s name flashing across the screen as he tried to FaceTime him. Ross accepting the call, settled back against the headboard knowing there was always the prospect Matty’s conversation could be long. No hellos were said however when Matty’s face appeared and your heart swelled when you heard the reasonings behind the unsuspected call.

“I’m not saying the walls are thin. But the walls are fucking thin! And if my best pal hasn’t magically teleported to New York and you’ve fucking hurt her. I’ll fucking hurt you MacDonald! Do you hear me? I don’t care, I’ll find a new bassist! Now who the fuck is in your room?” Matty’s voice getting louder and more erratic as he ranted.

“Matty. Calm down, it’s me.” 

You spoke softly as you took the phone off your boyfriend. The pang in your chest when you saw the glossiness in his eyes at the thought of you being fucked over by his mate had your own welling up as you offered him a soft smile.

“Hi bitch!” Matty whispered; a sigh of relief living his mouth.

“Hey dickhead!” You whispered back a chuckle.

“You’re in New York? What the fuck!”

“I am!” You laughed. “Charli and I both kind of missed Ross and G so we thought we’d surprise them. Got in earlier today.”  You explained to your best mate. “You surprised?!”

“Yeah! Fucking relieved too because I genuinely thought I’d have to kill him! I know you guys are cute but fuck me you two are gross. Like actual rabbits. I’m so happy you’re here, Ross can stop moping about now!” You laughed loudly as your boyfriend reprimanded his mate for calling him out, grumbling out that he didn’t mope which only made you laugh louder. Pressing another kiss to his shoulder, you settled your head against it as you continued conversing with your mutual best mate. 

Mumbling something about a piss; your boyfriend jumped out of bed quickly, leaving you with Matty. As soon as the click of the bathroom door echoed back into the room your facial expression turned serious very quickly, scaring Matty and causing him to frown in confusion as to why you looked terrified all of a sudden.

“Be honest with me now.” You started off in a whisper. “Because I don’t think my soul would be able to take it if what I’m about to ask is true or if I ever find out you’re lying.” Matty truly in his confused era at the sudden change of conversation, his heart broke when he saw your lip quiver. “Why did you say that before? Has he ever given you the impression that he’s cheating on me?”

You choked on your own words as you managed to get out, the mere thought of not being enough for Ross was enough to have you about to sob on the phone to Matty.

“Ohhh fuck no! I didn’t know you were here. I heard the noise. I panicked. He’d never. I promise you. That man is annoyingly in love with you!”  Matty grinned at you as he word vomited out his reassurance. “I’ve tried to tell him that you’re not that great but he won’t have any of it.” Your curly haired mate shrugged nonchalantly, successfully pulling a laugh out of you. “I promise he would never do that to you. He’d marry you in a heartbeat if he could.”

At the prospect of Ross talking to Matty about wanting to marry you was enough to make the sob that was bubbling in your chest before resurface but this time out of happiness. Confirming that you weren’t sad, but it were in fact happy tears because you just loved the handsome brunette so much. He was in the middle of chastising you about the noise level when Ross rejoined you both, slipping in beside you and automatically wrapping his arms around you. “Yeah, can we keep the moaning to a minimum whilst we’re here please because some of us do value our sleep.”

“I can’t promise anything!” You smirked; cackling as he screwed up his face in distaste at your boyfriend’s answer..

It took a lot for your to get embarrassed especially around your dickhead of a best friend but suddenly knowing that he’d heard the two of you, heard Ross making you cum multiple times had the heat rushing to your cheeks before muttering something along the lines of “We’ll try our best” before hanging up the phone, it your turn to groan into your boyfriend’s skin.

The two of you spent the next couple of hours in bed; no clothes, tv on, room service ordered and just content on being in each other’s presence. Lazily running your hands up and down his chest, you pressed equally lazy kisses to his skin, peppering them up his neck and jaw until you captured his lips against your own. Fluttering your eyes open,  you took in his handsome features, reaching up to hold his face in your hands.

“I could do this forever.”  You sighed contently against him.

“You want that?”

“Hmmmm” You hummed in agreement, your eyes fluttering closed as you pressed up against him in order to get closer than you already were.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes shot open at the question. Searching his face for some sort of joking air about the loaded question. You managed to spit out a soft “What?” Shock completely taking over you as you stared at your boyfriend.

“I’m serious. You want to be mine. I want to be yours. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”  He asked again. 

You blinked up at him. “Yes.” 

“Yes?” 

The cock of Ross’ eyebrow; almost challenging your answer, unsure if he heard you right. Nodding frantically, you squealed in delight when he pulled you on top of him in celebration and kissing you so deeply it made you dizzy. You couldn’t help but cry tears of pure happiness as you let him kiss you all over. You were going to marry the love of your life. This crazy handsome, talented, attentive and kind man was going to be your husband and you couldn’t wait!”

[writeblrfantasy]

hi! I've been looking through your stuff for a while now and I'm super duper in awe of what you've been able to accomplish!! genuinely good for you and I'm happy for you !! I hope things have been well. ive been meaning to ask-- what are your tips for an author who is just starting out and wants to put out their own book but doesn't exactly know how to do that? thank you so much and keep up the incredible work !!!! xx

ohmygosh thank you!! i struggle with permanence so much and dont realize people actually hear me when i'm shouting into the tumblr self promo book void, let alone that real people read my books, so this is beyond flattering. thank you thank you. it really is messages like these that keep me going.

there is so much advice i could give- if you're looking for a literal how does one publish a book, draft2digital is what i use, and it's very starting/low budget author friendly because the ISBNs are free, there is no fee to upload your book, d2d formats it for you, is ebook and print copies, distributes to lots of stores, and gives you one link for every store in one place. plus their communication is fast, and the percentage of money they take is small. i truly can't recommend it enough.

in a more abstract answer, being an indie author is tough, i won't lie. it can feel like you're shouting into the void with no one listening, it can feel isolating, and you have to decide what your measure of success looks like for you, otherwise you can feel like you've never accomplished your goals and you're always reaching for something more.

however, i would say it's so, so worth it because your book will always be true to you, your cover, your blurb, your chapters, whatever you want it to be. for me, that control is more important.

believe in yourself. you are an author, you are not an impostor, and there is no such as "that sounds too intimidating for someone like me" or "someone like me wouldn't be able to pull that off" or "i don't even know where to begin" all doubts that kept me from publishing for a while. you- yes, YOU, can publish your own book! you can do it if you have a good support group and you believe you can get it done!

you too can hold your book in your hands and feel every childhood dream come true.

and if you have the funds, maybe hire a cover artist and an editor. don't drive yourself to the brink of madness like i do.

i might put together a masterlist of all my resources as an indie author. would anyone like to see that?

i hope this helped! if you have any more questions feel free to shoot me another ask! thanks again!

[batri-jopa]

Maurice (1914) by E. M. Forster

I just started to read the book yesterday and... I definitelly am NOT disappointed!😍

Just first 3 chapters and it feels like film prequel!!!🤯

There's Maurice's fear of darkness and him playing with his sisters, and the way he treats their servants, and there's that fucking doctor Barry (NOT really a "family friend"), and also there's Dicky...

And there comes the most decent story about how does it feel to be adolescenting boy, and gay, and from hundret years ago, and not realising what's going on, even less that there might be anything "wrong" with him, and it's so innocent in his naivety (there's the "dream about the friend that last your whole life" - aaaaargh!!!😍), and it feels so simple and sincere, and so true - and when you know it's autobiographic novel of actually homosexual writer living hundret years ago - and so it's just literally a first hand description of how did HE felt when being a boy and it' like...

OMG I did not deserve this!!!🥲 My inner psychologist is already drooling all over the floor...🤤 What teen Maurice experienced when reading "Martial" might be similar to what I feel when reading "Maurice"!

But then when I see how author was describing his main character in such cruel way, always emphasing how average, unintelligent and lazy he was, and I'm thinking if that was some kind of fashion to put so much sarcasm into your character description and to lower his personality and motivations so much or could it be just some manner of excessive self-criticism - because I remembered once again it's autobiographic - but then isn't it even more weird if he was so critical toward his own self and then I'm like... Isn't it the way I myself try to underestimate my work and art because it actually feels so dear to me that I'd rather be the most critical so that you don't guess how much it matters to me and you won't bother to criticise it yourself or even if you would it won't be so painful as I already tried to believe that it is worthless anyway or maybe I'd rather hear you laugh about my lame joke than letting you know my true feelings because then you might be sympathising or pity me and that'll make me feel humiliated and bringing me to tears and - I don't want to be pitiful and I want to feel I still have control over my own feelings and I want not to be seen crying and vulnerable - and especially if I was a guy...

So maybe the author was describing his character in such cruel manner just to hide how dear he actually was to him?🤔

Overanalysing? Obviously! I just need to feed that empathetic beast sometimes. Why else would I ever be reading?

[learningsanctum]

April 27th, 2024

Do you remember when OG "it girl" François de La Rochefoucauld went "perfect valor is to do, without a witness, all that we could do before the whole world" and it changed planet Earth's very core for generations to come? Me too.

Lately I have been trying to up my game on the company I work. Currently I have temporary contract but it does have a promise of promotion depending on my performance and, as most people would, I thrive on this promise. Which is why I'm so far away from my comfort zone - that would be law books, hiiiii law! - researching for books such as "How to Become a Successful and Valuable Executive for Companies" in the administration hub.

Although I think I look a little ridiculous reading those books - because they honestly look fake or one of those authors who just throws shitty advices on a book to earn an extra with the publication - I'm honestly giving those a chance. Maybe they can teach me something! I'm all for learning more so if it's learning something you shouldn't be doing! What if the book is just shitty in essence? Then I will have backhand experience to identify a shitty book when I first star reading it and see it's essence is similar to the last "bad" book I read.

I like to think that everything we do is constructive. "For better or for worse" is something I apply but with motivational undertones so i can channel it into something positive!

I'll soon complete three months working at this company and it's a "big girl job" per say. It's an international company that has a gamma of possibilities for growth and literally can take me to unexpected places if I manage a promotion, which, for someone like me who dreams of seeing the world would be a nice bonus not to mention a dream come true.

However, my dreams aren't merely limited to company growth but if I manage it will be something that will make me feel good and what are we on this Earth for if not to appreciate little pleasures in life?

Since I can remember I have this will to work on an office and be part of something bigger than me. This company aligning with my principles, such as it being environmental conscious and caring for it's workers - I work at HR so I have first hand experience - is the most awesome part of going to work everyday.

In my life plan - which I believe haven't changed much since I was a teen - all of it's goals are constructive, long term and take time to complement each other. When I say I intend to do five years of law only to enroll on temporary (eight years) navy service people tend to say I want very different extremes and I simply can't see it this way.

Corporative life is part of my life but I don't necessarily want it to be all my life! I believe new experiences and a change of scenario can always do good. Also that people make decisions based on the options they have at hand at the time they are picking. Sometimes what you want is not on the table thus why you have to come up with a plan to make it an option. That can take years. That's when we start outlining long and short term goals for ourselves.

I, for an example, had a dream of coming out of high school and doing medicine, with a specialization in psychiatrics later on in mind. The human mind always fascinated me! But as all of us know it isn't that easy to get into law and because of a ton of life-changing problems I had in high school I couldn't really focus on passing the exams to get into public universities. So I applied for law which was my second option and am rolling with it since then. It doesn't mean I gave up medicine. Of course it doesn't!

Carefully I analyzed my options and build a plan from there, always taking into consideration the areas which I have more affinity and seeing how and why they could complement each other. That's the conclusion of months of research and pondering: I would finish law so I could apply to the temporary navy service (TNS) as an Official rather than the lower rank, which will give me a bigger monetary return, allowing me to live with easy and simultaneously saving a good amount so when I finish the TNS I can enroll on an international medicine university and sustain myself while living there.

Of course those are the main goals connecting with each other and people often fail to see the process. What I mean is that in the five years it takes me to graduate I will be studying and training to pass on the military exam and while I'm at navy I will be studying Spanish so I can enroll on my dream med university.

Once, upon telling a colleague about my plans, she said, and I quote, "it is okay for you to want to be the Barbie: a thousand and one jobs" but she also added "you just gotta make sure to have your goals set on stone so when difficult comes you can keep yourself on your toes and focused on the goal" and that's the best advice I have gotten so far.

When people tell for you to work in silence they mean it most sincerely because most of those around you won't understand your plans and, even unknowingly, will demotivate you. Sometimes it seems crazy and most of times it really is but its not impossible and it's exclusively on you how far you will go to achieve your dreams by transforming them in plans and following through and through.

"Work in silence" isn't supposed to be bitter or trendy but is simply stating people don't have the same world view as you, so you won't make sense to them most of times and - good news - you don't need to! They aren't bad for not understanding though. They just have a different color pallet of lens to see the world and it's fine.

Don't give up on something because it doesn't makes sense. Make sense out of your nonsense if it's the true call of your heart.

[creative-soul-22]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

@moon-arts02 had this on her blog and I wanted to do it, too so here we go...

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes. My paternal Grandmother. Just like 2 of my female cousins. I'm not kidding.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I actually don't cry a lot. I mean of course I sometimes tear up when a movie or a song really touches me deep inside (it's still new to me since this didn't happen in my earlier days) but actually crying? Like lying in bed crying a river? I don't remember.

I think it was in September when I was at Disneyland Paris. Seeing the Disney D-Light and the Disney Illumination show for the first time was so beautiful I got overwhelmed and cried like a fool. Just because it was so beautiful.

3. Do you have kids?

No. And I don't want to have kids. All that Relationship/family stuff is scary to me as I'm afraid I might screw it up. I'm not good at these things.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Well, I haven't thought about it yet. Do I? I don't use it like all the time but whenever I feel like it or when I'm really pissed off by somebody. I think that's when my sarcasm gets me. When I'm pissed.

5. What sports do you play/have played?

- running to the train station to catch the train

- running to the tram station to catch the tram

- walking up and down the stairs in the library

- stretching as far as I can to reach the top shelf

- walking up and down the library ladder

- walking around the library in general

- lifting big heavy books on my head

- try to keep the books on the shelf from falling with one hand while putting another book on the shelf with the other hand

- walking from one corner in my office to another

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I don't know. With every person it's something different. I like to look at people as a whole, their overall appearance, not just their eyes or their hair, etc. I literally look at people from top to bottom. And the first thing I notice is possibly something remarkable. But what I always look at first is their faces so I guess that's what I notice first.

7. What's your eye colour?

Brown-green

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I'm a DISNEY GIRL so ALWAYS AND FOREVER happy endings!😅

No, just kidding. I don't really like scary movies because they are - SPOILER! - scary and I have way to much fantasy and imagination to not be scared after a scary movie. Although during my last holiday I wanted to watch scary movies and watched almost all of the Conjuring Universe movies and wasn't scared. Don't know what was wrong with me that made wanna watch them but I have to admit it was pretty inspiring. Guess I had a little 1 week dark phase 😅

So I lean more to happy endings. But you know what's better than happy endings? Happy lives. Happy beginnings.

9. Any special talents?

Writing. Reading. Acting. Editing. Designing. Probably dancing?

Are these special talents?

But I'm not like a sword swallower, if that's what you mean.

10. Where were you born?

Munich!

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing. Reading. Editing. Dancing. Watching movies and TV-shows. Going to the cinema. Simping on stuff I love. Talking to people I like about things I like.

12. Do you have pets?

No. My father used to have a dog in Sicily called Baronetto. That's the closest I ever got to having pet (my father is Sicillian btw).

13. How tall are you?

1,50m in the tallest, I guess?

14. Favorite subject in school?

Oh, I LOVED my music classes in 8th/9th grade! My ex music teacher is so adorable and lovely and we're still in touch meeting from time to time. We just have tea and cookies then and talk about this and that. And we both relie on those conversations.

15. Dream job?

Author or actress, of course!

But I already found a very good job in a library. And I already live out my dreams so I don't necessarily have to be an author or an actress to make them come true.

But then again I'm still young so who knows? What is not yet can always come (or however the saying goes).

So, who's up next?

Feel free to do it when you want!

@moon-arts02 Wanna do a Melissa McCarthy/Ursula/Sookie version?

[cannedanxiety]

So this is the first part to a AU I wrote that serves as a prequel to Fallout 4. It was pretty well-received on Amino so I hope you enjoy it here!

The ‘Red-Seat’ district was a new addition to the city, built by newcomers from Goodneighbor following the removal of the previous administration’s ban on ghouls and new “open-arms” policy for all other residents; but it already proved to be the seedy part of the Great Green Jewel. Built tightly together, narrow alleyways and flashing neon lights characterized the area. Music blasted throughout, a new wave of an eclectic mix of rock and blues, and scantily-clad figures beckoned from the shadows. It wasn’t a welcome place for the Security force - two officers had been jumped and nearly killed by a pair of junkies.

It didn’t bother Clancy though. He was an older officer - silver hair tied into a bun and a scruffy beard to match - with the only armor on a chest plate older than him. The Diamond City Security logo was stamped onto it, which would mark him for a beating this late at night in this part of town. He didn’t worry though, passing the shadowed figures around him. The lights were all down on this narrow street, with interior candlelight casting little brightness. Down a side alley, two strangers scuffled and cursed at each other, but were ignored. As he kept walking, music from a literal hole-in-the-wall bar became louder, a shrill female voice belting out lyrics to a small crowd.

“Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings

I live for my dream and a pocketful of gold!”

Passing them by, Clancy strolled past a few more ramshackle apartments until he came across a man standing outside one; in his hand were two lit cigarettes. Clancy could only roll his eyes and walked up to him, muttering, “That is the stupidest signal I have ever seen.”

“Hey, Daly said-“

“I don’t care what Daly said. Just - forget it. Is she in there?”

“Yeah, yeah,” the man muttered, throwing the cigarettes to the ground and stomping both out. He nodded towards one of the many side alleys, although this one had the glow of light peeking into the darkness. “She went down there a lil’ bit ago. Y’know how she’s all paranoid about synths n’ shit. Only deals with people in secret places.”

“Works for me. I’ll tell Daly you helped, now get out here.”

The man didn’t need any further encouragement - he skittered down the street to the bar with the live music, instantly mingling with the crowd. Heading into the alley, Clancy moved quietly against the wall, removing a pistol from his holster. It wasn’t the standard-issue pipe pistol - this was a modified 10mm, complete with a bulky silencer attached to the end. The alleyway was empty, with only debris and other junk scattered about. Moving slowly, he reached the corner and could hear a conversation between two voices.

“Twenty caps? This is a pristine microscope, I risked my ass for this! A hundred-twenty is more like it.”

“Screw you, only a synth would argue with me! Get out of here, before I get the authorities!”

“Crazy bitch! Nutcase . . .”, the first voice fell silent and footsteps began heading in Clancy’s direction. He pressed himself against the shadows, trying to hide in the darkness. A masked figure stormed his way past him, grumbling and cursing, before stopping and turning to Clancy. Even under his bandana and cap in the darkness, he could see the man’s confused, frightened eyes. Clancy only held a finger to his lips and shushed.

The stranger nodded and ran away.

Sighing a quick breath of relief, Clancy held his pistol at the ready and turned into the light. In a small courtyard, the city’s junk merchant, Myrna, was scrounging through a cart of miscellaneous items. She tossed them over her head, talking to herself as tape, burnt books, and other random objects flew and smacked against the tin wall. Clancy waited for a moment before coughing into his fist, immediately getting Myrna’s attention. Her buggy eyes scanned the officer, darting up and down, back and forth for a solid minute before she spoke. “Officer, a synth just left a few moments ago! Tried harassing me, go terminate him!”

“Mhm, yeah,” Clancy mumbled, raising the silenced pistol and putting two in her head.

Her body crumpled to the ground in an instant, slumped up against her prized junk. The two bullet holes between her eyes were draining blood, and brain matter shined in the light against the wall behind her. Clancy only knelt and reached into his pockets, pulling out a hodgepodge of chem-related items. Dumping it around the courtyard, he stepped back to the entrance and looked upon his work.

“Shame you dealt with junkies.”

[diorgirl444]

hi, can I please get a wednesday match up? im an intp, 5w4, slytherin, true neutral, and a capricorn. I'm a cisgender girl, and bisexual with a heavier preference for guys.

I'm 5 foot 3, fair skinned, and midsized/curvy. I also have shoulder length brown curly hair and light brown eyes. I'm usually some kind of fandom tshirt, cuffed jeans, and high top converse or combat boots.

My hobbies are writing (novels and poetry), reading (books and comics), baking, watching shows and movies, drawing/painting (even though I suck at it and it makes me upset half the time) and playing piano. I love mythology and ancient history, and I'm very interested in anthropology. I want to work in a museum one day, and I also dream to be an author. my favorite genres are fantasy, sci fi, and murder mystery. My favorite movie is Dead Poets Society, and my favorite book is Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. My favorite aesthetic is green/dark academia.

My favorite music artists are half alive, the neighbourhood, twenty one pilots, owl city, and coin.

I dislike people with superiority complexes, fatshaming jokes, tight spaces, and the heat (I prefer the cold), and most outdoor roller coasters.

I struggle with social anxiety, so I can be a bit distant at first before getting closer to someone. but once i am, I talk a lot and often ramble about things I care about. I really like seemingly useless fun facts. I struggle with my emotions a bit, so I usually use humor to cope and i can be prone to letting things bottle up. I'm a very sarcastic person. even though I'm hesitant to admit it, I do think physical touch and words of affirmation are my love languages. I'm also very creative and resourceful. I pride myself on being a problem solver and giving my friends advice when they need it. I'm very loyal to my close circle of friends.

Thanks so much if you get to do mine :)

your perfect matchup is 𝐱𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐞 💌

𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐱𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 <𝟑

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝟐 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 <𝟑

as i’m not sure what outcast you would be i’m writing this as if you’re a normie.

personally i think xavier would meet you on the nevermore outreach day (not the one seen in the show) because since your dream is to work at a museum you’re starting small and working at jericho’s local museum.

you’ve been warned that some nevermore students are going to be coming in but you don’t think much of it and go back to organising displays.

xavier on the other hand is dreading it, he’s used to the normie’s being bullies and if he’s on honest he basically hates outreach day.

surprise, surprise he’s set to work with you at the museum.

the minute he sees you he forgets his hated of outreach day and all he can think is how blessed he is to be working with such a dream girl.

he spends the whole day trying to get closer to you but you don’t seem to notice and he’s heartbroken.

however just as he’s leaving you turn to him go “are you going to ask me out or not?” 

you’ve been together ever since <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 <𝟑

you two are literally the sweetest ever oml!!!

first of all xavier literally worships the ground, i’m not even joking he absolutely adores you. 

he’ll do whatever you ask him to he just loves you that much <3

and the pair of you are always doing the cutest things together!!

baking, reading sketching, writing you two are just the most creative couple ever.

and if there is something that you’re not super confident with like art he’ll always comfort you and tell you that he’s proud of whatever you achieve. 

for your birthday he definitely painted you but let’s be real he’s like always sketching you, his schoolbooks are filled with little drawings of you.

i feel like you and xavier would definitely have the same music taste so i can see you two on long journeys sharing headphones.

he also completely understands your social anxiety if the pair of you are ever in a crowded place he’ll always hold your hand and if you squeeze he knows your feeling overwhelmed so the two of you will head home.

basically as couples go no one is more perfect for each other than you and xavier <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 <𝟑

hugs and kisses, flo

[ask-the-prose]

Hello!

So, I'm writing a literal nightmare for story, I'm still not sure of what will be the exact plot, I'm just vibing and writing it all based off a nightmare I had myself one month ago. In that story, everyone disappears besides the protagonist and her two younger brothers who don't really speak (6 and 2 yo) while she's alone at home with them. I want it to be subtle that it is actually a dream, but not very unexpected, you know? I'm making an open ending too, I'm not so worried because I don't plan of posting/publishing, I'm writing more for myself, but I still felt like asking this to see if I can have any advice, since I'm not very experienced and a teenager. How do I make it sound/look like a nightmare without making it too obvious? Thank you. I hope this makes sense...

Hey there! Thanks for the ask :)

This seems like an interesting concept and like something that can give you all sorts of great practice and a chance to experiment with your style and process. I'll do my best to give you advice you can use, but like you said, this is for you so you're welcome to take or leave anything I say.

I always find that when it comes to making your writing feel some type of way, the devil is in the details. Think back to the nightmare that inspired you. Were there any hints that it was a dream? I'll admit, I lucid dream most of the time, so I know when things are dreams immediately. (Think, oh this zombie is about to bite me, luckily this is a dream and I'm going to fly away. That's my personal dream logic.)

The thing about dreams is that they are a salad of your subconscious thoughts and ideas. Things don't tend to mesh well together, nor is there really a comprehensible plot line, which makes it difficult to turn them into a story. That being said, stories don't have to be true to life. This nightmare story has an open ending right? So perhaps it's a dream, perhaps not. That's for the reader to decide.

But as for your part, you can add details that don't add up. Things moving around on a table, concepts not adding up, all of that goes hand in hand with the horror genre, and are also common aspects of dreams that people don't pick up on until they've woken up. ("Of course that dream wasn't real, it took place in a bedroom I haven't slept in since I was a child!") Dreams are hazy and difficult to logic your way through, but when everything is clear when you wake up, it's obvious right?

It's difficult to recreate this in writing without being confusing to the reader. Objects moving around on tables when a character doesn't notice or make note of the strangeness seems like an error on the author's end. Something common in writing especially in movies and TV shows is to have the character remark that something is unbelievable or strange in order to push the audience to further suspend their disbelief beyond what they already have, to accept events that seem outlandish or beyond expectation. You can use this tool in your writing as well.

Something like this: Protagonist set the glass down upon the table before her youngest brother. With a shriek, he swiped his hand across the table, knocking the plastic bowl to the ground. Protagonist stopped. The bowl was a glass a moment ago, right? Brother shrieked again, this time in bubbling belly laughs that brought a smile to Protagonist's face despite the mess.

Acknowledge the strange, but move on as if the strange was exactly what the reader should have expected. You can use this strategy often to great effect in the horror genre. Think about every slasher movie ever made, they use this tool a lot!

Another method you could use would resemble books or other stories with time skips and flash backs and forwards. These can be utilized in a lot of genres, but you see them a lot also in horror and mystery. Modify it to suit your needs. Something can be framed as a flashback or forward, when textually, it's more like one of those moments people have in the middle of the night where they wake up briefly and return to sleep without recognizing they'd ever been asleep. When I do this, it's usually to gulp down as much water as I can handle without accidentally drowning myself, but ymmv, everyone's different.

[jamneuromain]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG this is fucking amazing😩❤️

First of all, a big smooch for this birthday celebration😢❤️ it's not like any other gifts I've ever received and it's absolutely wonderful😍❤️

And also I can't believe you've add references about Wishful Thinking Andy/Reader?😩😭 it's like living in a dream😘😘😘😘😘

That’s how you could describe your shop. Peaceful.(this? Here? 😩 this is my dreamlife, literally, owning a book&coffee shop and being a writer😋😋

You also always gave them a free muffin if they spilled their coffee on some (probably important) documents(cute and considerate! I'm liking this already :3

Ari was the head of the mob and yet he got cold feet when it came to talking to a pretty girl./“Another cappuccino?”,(big scary man scared talking to a girl pls🤣❤️🤤

Sighing you looked out of the window imagining the beautiful man talking to you about something different than just his usual order(ohhhhhhh he issssssss. 😡 bad Ari, why did he throw the phone number away? ((He didn't notice 😢😢 bad Ari

but it wasn’t the plot that surprised him.It was your picture. You were the author.(Sksjsjsjsjsjskksksks surprise!

Usually it wouldn’t matter who read your book but him-not him. He wasn’t supposed to know about the things you liked, about your desires and-about your sexual preferences! Jesus. (Jesus indeed👀😩 I'll be digging a hole 12 feet deep underground to bury myself in it

His Perfume smelled overpowering, but in a surprisingly good way. It made you crave this man even more than before.(😩god. A good perfume would kill me in an instant😩😩😩 with the right perfume? I'd melt straight into a puddle.

Being called a good girl? Fuck, he really tried not to think about these things at night. (He failed sometimes.(😩yes pls do that to me pls

“Thank you, sweetheart.”Fuck. It just slipped(so damn cute!!!!!

Seeing you in a elegant long dress, your beautiful neck exposed…maybe covered in some little hickeys, marks ... ..or maybe a simple and decent day collar. Just a neck with a little ring…(?!?!?!?! Yes?!?!?!?!

You really hoped he wasn’t hiding a wife or kid. Or both?(sksjjskskskksksksjsk That'd be a total catastrophe

On the other hand…So did Ted Bundy(ojhhhhhhh👀 I'm sensing... drama here...

Thank you for this amazing chapter of Ari and Reader😌❤️❤️❤️ and your wishes😘❤️❤️❤️ it's def coming true since I've met you on Tumblr😭❤️❤️❤️

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @jamneuromain here’s a little gift for you. I hope you’ll enjoy the first one shot of the little kinda series. It was supposed to be a one shot but I didn’t finish it on time so…now it’ll be a two/three chapter series! I hope you’re enjoying your birthday. I wish you the best. I won’t specify what exactly because everything what happens should be the best! Meet the best people, make the best memories and the best experiences!!!!

Between the bookshelves

My Masterlist

A/N: it’s not beta read:) there’ll be mistakes, be prepared:)

Pairing: Mob Ari Levinson x bookshop/café owner reader

Series Summary: You’re a small-town-girl living in a big city, owning her own (somewhat successful) book- and coffee-shop, a dream you had been following for years. Some of the books are little works of your own, but nobody really knew it and nobody really read them, being just small stories between bestselling novels.

And yet there was a specific client that couldn’t put down your books.

The Saturday mornings were mostly quiet and got a bit more busy in the noon, where people start waking up or curing their hangovers-for some reason you had noticed everyone liked doing it in your little coffee shop. The quiet atmosphere, smell of coffee, cake and books was calming for the people. It was just good for their headaches. Just some time to themselves. Just some…peace. That’s how you could describe your shop. Peaceful.

Most of the time they would buy a coffee, maybe a sandwich or something sweet and would sit for a while, sometimes with their headphones on, sometimes with their eyes closed or other times watching the people walk past the windows.

You enjoyed watching people.

The older people that came by because your place had an older aesthetic, the walls made from old brick stone, the shelves and tables dark wood, the couches, loveseats, armchairs and chairs all being rather vintage than modern. Always ordering the apple pie from your grandma’s recipe. Could they taste like it was an old recipe? Did it taste differently from the other pies?

You also liked watching the business people rolling their eyes during calls or while typing something on their laptops. It was really entertaining. You also always gave them a free muffin if they spilled their coffee on some (probably important) documents.

So to say, everyone liked coming here, for whatever reasons. Maybe to drink your coffee, maybe to have some peace or forget what was happening in their busy lives, instead wanting to escape in one of the books. In your cafe was everything possible, they could just drink their coffee and enjoy some snacks or disappear in a fantasy world with witches, mermaids and vampires or into a simple romance or thriller. Whatever they wanted.

And then there was him.

He came here to see you smile. To hear your voice. To get to know you.

But until now he never actually spoke to you. Not unless it was to tell you his order.

And that’s it.

Ari was the head of the mob and yet he got cold feet when it came to talking to a pretty girl.

Usually he had no problems with talking to women, even targets or other dealers but you ... .it's like he was his teenage self again (or even worse, because he actually wasn’t that nervous back then.)

He didn’t want to mess it up too soon, since you seemed like a very nice person and probably wouldn’t approve of his work. So he wanted to show you his best side-even though he didn’t know how long he’d be able to hide his true identity.

And more important, how long he’d manage to keep you safe. That was his biggest concern. That’s also why he didn’t know if he should approach you.

For now it was enough to sit in your café and watch you from afar. Like a total creep.

Ari sighed, hitting his forehead on the table with a quiet thud. What the hell was he doing? He was making a total fool of himself? He’d now go to the counter and ask for your number.

Determined he stood up and did as planned. “Hi, may I ask for-“ “Y/N, the muffins are ready!”, shouted someone from what he assumed was the kitchen. You smiled apologetically. “Give me a minute”, with that you disappeared for a moment, coming back with a plate filled with muffins.

A bright smile crept once again onto your lips when you saw the beautiful stranger still waiting at the counter. He was one of your regulars and yet you never catched his name. Nor anything else beside his usual order. “Another cappuccino?”, you saw him opening his mouth, before nodding. “Yeah, another cappuccino, thank you”, he smiled, brushing his hair behind his ear before taking out his card.

He definitely noticed the muffin decorated with heart sprinkles to his coffee, that he hadn’t ordered. Also, he got your name. This was more than he had actually expected.

And this muffin definitely meant something, right?

You watched him for a second from behind the counter, before needing to go clean up a table. You hoped he had seen the number written on the handkerchief.

He didn’t. He threw it away.

But you didn’t know that. You imagined he threw it away on purpose. Maybe he felt awkward? Or even uncomfortable? God, you have messed up. What if he’d never come back again?

Sighing you looked out of the window imagining the beautiful man talking to you about something different than just his usual order.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks Ari couldn’t go to your café and it made him crazy. Even though he didn’t know you, he missed your sweet smile. The słuchały oversized pink hoodie you liked wearing, especially when it was a bit colder, how you always wore your hair in a bun or ponytail, showing off your beautiful rosy cheeks. The way your eyes lightened up when you talked to him-he didn’t know if it was something that happened with every customer, but he liked imagining this sparkle was just for him.

Maybe it was.

Maybe it wasn’t.

But he hoped it was.

When the quiet bell sounded as he entered the café you lifted your head, having been caught up in messaging someone while there was some quiet time in the shop. There were only a few customers busy with eating and drinking, some others reading some books.

He walked up to the counter, opening his mouth to greet you, but his voice broke when he saw your slightly rosy cheeks, the soft smile on your lips. “Hello, the usual?”, you smiled at him, making him even more speechless so he just nodded.

For fucks sake what was happening to him. How the hell could you make him speechless with just a smile even though he was able to talk to twenty men with guns in hands and files longer than some restaurant menus.

Sighing, he walked to his usual table, hanging off his jacket over the chair before walking to the shelves, looking for a new book.

He found one about a complicated love story between a college student and her professor, from what he could read in the summary-but it wasn’t the plot that surprised him.

It was your picture.

You were the author.

Ari immediately took it and walked with it over to his table where he immediately started reading. He wasn’t really into romance stuff, but it was your book. It was a piece of you, in a way, and he wanted to know something about you. About the relationship you seek, the gestures that made your breath hitch and what made your heart flutter.

So he started reading.

Within a few pages he was already pulled into the story, completely losing himself in the story, interested in the problematic relationship the main characters had. Just when the main character was supposed to meet with her professor you walked up to his table with a coffee and muffin that he hadn’t ordered.

When he looked up at you and slightly closed the book you could see he was reading your book. Your cheeks turned a dark red color. Usually it wouldn’t matter who read your book but him-not him. He wasn’t supposed to know about the things you liked, about your desires and-about your sexual preferences! Jesus. Maybe he hadn’t read who the author was?

At this point you’d rather just go to bed and never leave it again. Like, really, never.

Sighing you walked back behind the counter, not noticing the lingering gaze on you.

Three hours later, Ari was still busy with the book. At this point the story was so addictive he couldn’t put it down. The main character was a total sweetheart and the professor-god what a dick he was. Such a liar. Even though he had already messed up once, he didn’t tell his lover he still had a wife. Okay, yes, they were divorcing soon but still-he should’ve told his girlfriend about it. It’s a detail you should mention. Preferably from the beginning and not letting the girlfriend find out because the wife walked into his apartment?? Jesus!

He scoffed at the book and wanted to turn the page when his phone rang. “Levinson”, he listened to his friend about having found out who had stolen guns and other weapons from him. Ari could tell his frown deepened with every second, the vein on his forehead already pulsing from anger. Fury, even. He tried to be a good man. Really. Holding back all the time-but having one of his men betray him…this was too much. It was-

“Do you want a refill?” Your sweet voice interrupted his racing thoughts, his nerves immediately calming down, the frown disappearing. Instead a smile reappeared on his lips. “I can’t. I have to go and get some …business stuff done”, he said, already standing up. It was the first time you two were so close to each other.

His Perfume smelled overpowering, but in a surprisingly good way. It made you crave this man even more than before. The smell was just heavenly. You couldn’t stop yourself from breathing it in deeply, nearly closing your eyes to enjoy it for a bit longer but instead you looked into Ari’s bright eyes. He was taller than you, bigger than you. He towered over you, but you didn’t feel threatened. You felt safe.

Fuck. Your crush was turning into something much worse.

Little did you know that’s exactly what Ari thought too.

It’s not really unusual for him being taller or bigger than someone, but with you it’s like something inside him awoke. The need to keep you close. Keep you safe. He knew how dangerous the world could be, especially for a woman like you. But he could take care of you.

He’d love to wrap his arms around you, bury his nose against your neck and inhale your sweet smell, feel your soft skin…

He had it bad. So, so bad.

A last smile crept onto his lips before he grabbed his jacket and walked over to the door, looking once again back at you meeting your gaze. You blushed at that, making Ari’s heart pound.

He’ll ask for your number. Next time when he’ll be here.

But he didn’t. The next time, two days later, he just drank his coffee and read the book. Ari was Never this curious about a book but yours was just…incredible. The love story, the whole plot. Unbelievable. And also…thinking you had such a…interesting view of sex made him curious if you’d do the things in real life, too.

Were you into the same things as the main character? Spanking? Dom and sub dynamics in real life? Being called a good girl? Fuck, he really tried not to think about these things at night. (He failed sometimes.)

“Would you like some apple pie?”, you sweet voice made him lift his head. “Oh, sure, how much-“ “no, no, that’s on the house…it’s a gift. From me.” Your gentle tone made his heart throb, while he nodded. “Thank you.”

While he watched you walk away he wasn’t sure what to do next. You were such a kind and sweet person. And he was…he wasn’t good. Far from that, actually. You two couldn’t be more different. While you were a gentle soul that gave away the food that was left after a shift to the homeless, he was capable of torturing people without blinking an eye. He was cruel, cold and furious.

He wasn’t good enough for you. He knew. And he knew he’d only make your life miserable and dangerous. Maybe he already did with spending so much time at your café. Your worlds were too far from each other for you to date. Or even be friends.

“Here you go-enjoy”, once again did your voice pull him out of his thoughts-and a gentle touch on his shoulder. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

Fuck. It just slipped. From all the reading-he forgot. It was unbelievable how your whole being influenced his behavior, how you were able to make him forget about his whole being.

Just when he wanted to apologise a shy but bright smile formed on your lips, a slight blush slowly creeping over your cheeks. Without saying anything else you squeezed his shoulder for a second before stepping away from his table, being called over by an older couple.

Even though he really wanted to read more, his phone was getting blow up with messages about the recent thefts. They knew who caused them but not where he was hiding. The fact that it was one of his men still angried him, even more because nobody could find him.

But he needed the stolen things back. ASAP. Otherwise even he could get in trouble-which didn’t happen often.

He looked at the pie, smiling as he noticed the little heart you had drawn with whipped cream. The thought of not being able to have you made his heart crumble a little.

Why couldn’t he be just a simple man with a simple life?

Because he liked the luxurious life he had.

But maybe he could try the simple way of living for once?

Oh who was he lying to, everyone he knew would say he’d never have a standard live. He liked having an expensive car, the newest phone, eating out especially in nice restaurants or nice vacations somewhere far away.

He was curious about what you liked. Maybe he could invite you to his favourite restaurant? Seeing you in a elegant long dress, your beautiful neck exposed…maybe covered in some little hickeys, marks ... ..or maybe a simple and decent day collar. Just a neck with a little ring…only the people involved would understand-and maybe some people would even compliment your necklace, not knowing what it meant.

Ari’s whole chest tingled with need.

But he didn’t want to destroy your life by pulling into the mess he was in.

Sighing he took a little bite from the pie, immediately closing his eyes in pleasure. It tasted incredible. Perfect even.

He hadn't had such a good pie in a long time.

Ari ate the pie within a few minutes, not having enough time to eat in peace since his phone was ringing all the time.

Once again when he left he could feel your lingering gaze on his back.

Next time. He’d talk to you next time.

You promised the same thing to yourself…and your best employee-well, best friend, because she couldn’t handle listening to your venting about Ari anymore.

This time he couldn’t come to your café for over two weeks, since he was after Alex, the thief. And he didn’t have much time to relax. Especially not in your café, also he didn’t want to come closer in case someone was following him-which he believed was possible seeing what was happening.

But he really missed you, even though you hadn’t had a real conversation yet. It’s just…your smile could brighten his mood, it didn’t matter how bad the day was.

When he finally visited your place again the first thing he noticed was how your frown disappeared and how you leaned over the counter slightly. “Hello! Long time no see”, you grinned at him.

Ari chuckled at your enthusiasm, immediately feeling how your presence cheered him up. “Yeah I had a lot of stuff going on…it’s complicated. I’m just glad I can finally drink a coffee here…sit, enjoy the atmosphere here…it’s probably the only place where I feel like I can forget about the whole mess with-…you know, life”, he mumbled, shaking his head slowly.

When he took out his wallet your hand touched his and you slowly pushed it away. “It’s fine, this one's on me…maybe we could…sit a bit together? Talk?”, you smiled gently, seeing how the gears in the man’s head started doing their job.

“Sounds very nice, yes. I’d love to sit and talk a bit…”, he didn’t sound entirely sure about it, but you believed him anyway. Maybe he really had a bad day. “Perfect, then you can go sit down and I’ll be with you in a minute.”

After he did what said you started preparing the coffees and a piece of brownie for each. He’d definitely like it. At least you hoped he would.

“I’m pretty sure we never really introduced-I’m Y/N, nice to meet you”, when you finally sat down Ari turned his phone around so the screen wouldn’t be visible. You really hoped he wasn’t hiding a wife or kid. Or both? Let’s not be paranoid…but still…

Ari smiled at you, pushing his phone even further away. It’s not like you’d grab it and read his messages? This guy was a bit suspicious…but you knew not to judge a book by its cover. “I’m Ari, it’s nice to meet you. I wanted to talk to you for a while now…I couldn’t never really get myself to do it”, he chuckled, making you unintentionally but your lip a bit.

Did it mean he liked you just as much as you liked him?

“I’m glad. I was curious if we’d ever say more to each other than your usual order”, your words made him chuckle again and he shook his head a bit. “Yeah that…I don’t really like changes and besides, your coffee is really good. When I find a place I like, I don’t like changing things.” Ari took a sip from his coffee to prove his point-and once again the coffee was as good as always.

He noticed how seemingly pleased you were with this simple compliment. Wasn’t it obvious how good everything here was? Especially the barista…which he wouldn’t say out loud, but he’d think about it.

“What will happen to them? Will they have a Happy End?” Ari lifted the book he had once again taken from the shelf. One of your first pieces you had tried to write and actually finish. But you were still slightly insecure sometimes-especially when the person reading was someone you’d rather like to impress.

You shrugged slowly, a teasing smirk creeping over your lip. “I guess you’ll have to come here often and finish it yourself. I won’t spoil the ending for you. What’s the fun in reading it then?” Ari shook his head amused.

“I rather like knowing what’s coming, you know? To prepare myself for it, the same in real life-especially my business. It sucks to know that you’re being lied to”, he had no idea why he was telling you this but it felt good. It’s like his heart was speaking for him, even though his brain was screaming at him to shut up and preferably leave you alone.

But he listened to his heart, for once. He wanted to listen to his heart this one time.

You placed your hand over his, squeezing gently. “I understand. It must be hard having someone close betray you…if I may ask, what did he do? And where do you two work?”, you asked. Curiosity was never your best trait, but to your defence ari was the one speaking about it first. You had the right to ask…right?

Ari stilled for a second, looking down at his phone, then his coffee, hands, back at his phone and finally back at you. “It’s office work, but I can’t tell you much more about it”, you could tell he was lying right to your face.

Did you care about it? Did you see the red flags and decided to ignore them?

Nobody ever said you always made the right choices.

“I understand. Still sucks being lied too by someone important”, you squeeze his hand again.

At least he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. Maybe this weird gut feeling was from nervousness and not…something else. He seemed like a nice and charming guy.

On the other hand…

So did Ted Bundy.

You quickly shook those thoughts away…for now.

To your surprise you two talked for nearly two hours, before the café started to be flooded by customers and you had to go back to work. Ari left you his number, telling you to call him when you’d need any help…or just to talk.

Happily you enjoyed the rest of the shift, already thinking about texting Ari later in the evening.

Thank you for reading!

I Hope you liked it! Let me know! Support your content creators by reblogging and leaving feedback:)

Taglist: @magnificentsaladllama @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @lilsiz

[adrianharley]

My Top 10 Reads of (the first half of) 2023

I have lucked out in reading so far this year, so it is now my duty, nay, my privilege, to insist that everyone else read these books as soon as humanly possible. These are all books I read from January through June--I haven't read a single thing in July yet. 

10. The World We Make, by N. K. Jemisin. Everything Jemisin writes is gold, and even though this one didn't quite hit the highs of the first, it was a solid conclusion to the duology.

9. Siren Queen, by Nghi Vo. Early Hollywood, but make it magic--fae magic, where stars become literal stars and a Wild Hunt happens behind the scenes.

8  You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty, by Akwaeke Emezi. I will read anything Emezi writes. I would have trusted very few authors with this premise: an artist grieving the loss of her husband starts seeing other men again, but then starts falling for the father of the man she is seeing. The lavishness of the descriptions, my goodness. The book comes alive.

7. Witch Hat Atelier (volumes 1 through 5), by Kamome Shirahama. It's a testament to the strength of the books I read this year that the series with baby penguin-gryphons is this far away from #1. I cannot emphasize enough how cute they are--and in case you care about something other than baby penguin-gryphons, I cannot explain in words how incredible this world is. Just look. You'll see.

6. An Immense World, by Ed Yong. I am an animal nerd. I love sinking into a good nonfiction animal book, and this one is miles above most. I was blown away and humbled by how little I know about animal senses, and I thought I knew a lot. The writing is engaging and charming, too.

5. The Spear Cuts Through Water, by Simon Jiminez. I have never read a book like this before, and that's saying something. The frame structure of the dream theater, the way the narrative points of view flow back and forth, the dips into everyone's (EVERYONE'S) thoughts... this is one of those books that shows how arbitrary some of the fundamental "rules" of writing are, and how vivid a story can be without them.

4. Little Thieves, by Margaret Owen. A good first-person narrator is worth their weight in gold. This was a delightful romp with a selfish protagonist. She's robbing the rich and trying to outwit the fantasy law enforcement! She might have to Learn About Friendship! She's slowly turning into gems! I loved her and all the supporting cast.

3. The Monsters We Defy, by Leslye Penelope. I hope historical fantasy heists keep on coming, but they'll have a hard time surpassing this one. Features a prickly protagonist who slowly learns to trust and folktale-esque spirit magic, with spirits that can't be trusted and bestow a gift alongside a "trick." The pairing of "You will be a flawless actor who can take any role, but nobody will remember your true self" is one that's going to haunt me for a while.

2. The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, by Shannon Chakraborty. An absolutely flawless piratical adventure. A retired pirate captain gets called away from her peaceful life and motherhood for One Last Job. This has everything you could want in a pirate adventure--a crew of lovable characters, a sinister job that's more than it seems, sea creatures, and a rich and teeming world (the better to be looted). In any other year--half-year--this might have been my very favorite...

1. Shubeik Lubeik, by Deena Mohamed. ... but Shubeik Lubeik won my heart and hasn't let it go. You know when you finish a book and want to shove it in everyone's hands immediately? This is that book, and all the more so because I had never heard of it before picking it up in the library and devouring it in one glorious evening. This graphic novel is about a world like ours, but where wishes are real. Three interconnected tales in Cairo follow three people who end up with a first-class wish. If you like graph-based humor about mental illness, gorgeous art, well-thought-through alternate worlds, and getting emotionally torn apart and put back together again, read this.

[gffa]

Brotherhood | by Mike Chen It’s sort of hard to show what I’m getting at while keeping this post a reasonable length, but this is sort of the core of what creates a dissonance in my head, because I feel like there’s an undercurrent here that I really dig, but also I’m not sure is intentional:  That the way Anakin looks at Padme is that he’s filling himself up with this vision he has of her, where she literally has no flaws and he’s idealizing her, that any time he starts to so much as think about his loss and trauma, he shoves that aside to only dream of her. This interpretation of Anakin really goes hand in hand with Anakin, especially coming right off Attack of the Clones, where Obi-Wan is trying to talk to Anakin about the dreams he has of his mother, they’re starting to have a real conversation, but Anakin doesn’t like hearing anything other than what he wants to hear, so he shoves the conversation aside and says, “I’d rather dream of Padme.”  Because he’s filling himself up with this dream he’s had of her for ten years. The way Padme comes off in this book is that she is literally perfect, she’s a dream, a flawless angel, a depiction that takes the good qualities she has that are genuinely there, that she’s a deeply caring and compassionate person, and makes them completely idealized.  Is this because the Star Wars authors these days are idealizing Padme, making her so perfect that she’s not even a character anymore?  Or is this Anakin doing that, because he does the same thing with Qui-Gon’s memory?  That he has no sense of Qui-Gon’s personality in the book, it all revolves around how Anakin felt about him, what Anakin saw represented in him and projected onto him, that someone like Obi-Wan can do the same thing and yet it doesn’t seem to come into Anakin’s head. Obi-Wan believes so strongly in Anakin throughout this book, but Anakin never really thinks of him, just says Qui-Gon believed in him and he holds that close like Qui-Gon was the only one who truly did, that Obi-Wan puts a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, but it doesn’t seem to make much impression, instead he dreams of Qui-Gon putting a hand on his shoulder. The way Padme’s scenes come off start to feel like that to me--they amplify everything good and bad in him.  There’s a sweetness to these scenes, they’re having fun where Anakin takes her on a wild speeder ride, that they have blankets for spicy times, that they help people in the lower levels. At the same time, when something real starts to intrude, like his feelings about his mother, he pushes those aside, that it’s not that he’s living in the moment, it’s that he’s afraid of looking into the darker parts of himself, so he locks it away, rather than letting it go.  Their relationship is “a dream, the most impossible and wonderful dream” and that’s such a sweet sentiment, but it also cannot come without the context of George Lucas’ repeated and explicit commentary about how Anakin becomes Darth Vader because he cannot let go of her ever, that his justification for the terrible things he does is trying to save her but deep down he knows that’s not true, that we see in the movie that Anakin is willing to help burn down the galaxy, willing to kill defenseless Jedi babies to keep her because he can’t live without her. If I look at these scenes through those lenses, of the context of everything that we know about the way this story ends and what’s driving Anakin, if I view his relationships through the lens of how he idealizes the people he can project onto, rather than who people actually are, including things that happen in this actual book, then I really like what the book puts down.

[pillow-anime-talk]

dating them.

synopsis: Some sweet, funny and also crazy moments in your relationship.

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; romance; mild comedy; fluff; PDA; sfw

includes: gender neutral reader ft. reki kyan, langa hasegawa, miya chinen, kaoru sakurayashiki & kojirou nanjou {sk8}

author’s note: so... i’m just in love with this anime...

— REKI

↘ He’s such a precious boy who cheers you up in the blink of an eye; I think he has an extra sense, so he knows when you feel worse than usual or when you are in even the slightest pain (for example, you bumped your elbow or you haven’t eaten breakfast before ‘cause you missed your alarm clock and therefore you have a stomachache).

↘ Reki is a supportive lover; whether you are passionate about singing, learning languages, reading manga, sewing mascots or painting, a seventeen-year-old will always be right next to you to praise what you do or the way you look. He will notice every, even stupid detail about you and mention it immediately when you’re going to hang out. He’s definitely your fan and doesn’t hide it. Additionally, if you introduce him to what you love, he will also get interested in it in a way and then he will come to you to show off what he has done like a sketch of the two of you or an opinion about the anime you recommended him three days ago.

↘ The boy is really devoted to you and loves physical contact; grabbing a hand, kissing on the cheek or forehead, cute texts in the morning it’s something totally normal for the two of you. I also think that Reki could melt if you run your fingers through his soft hair or make small braids for him, decorating his head with a few colored hairpins or hairbands.

↘ If you know how to skateboarding, he will be delighted and your dates will mostly be about riding together or learning new tricks. Plus, it’s another thing Reki loves about you and wow. He’s even bigger fanboy than before!

↘ However, if you have never ridden or even tried to do it, it doesn’t matter. A teen will be happy to be able to offer you some private lessons if you wish. Again, red-haired adores physical contact, so holding your hands/waist while you stand on his beloved skateboard will be a dream come true for him.

↘ He always has ticket for you, so you make a new banner for each race to support him. Hit me, but I’m 120% sure that after race (whether he won or lost it) he takes your pretty banners and hides them in this special box that has its place on his bedroom closet.

↘ Overall, Reki is a boy who fits to the definition of high school, first love.

— LANGA

↘ Your relationship is a bit more peaceful, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a bit of humor or abstraction.

↘ Langa loves your company so, so, so badly; Reki is quite hot-tempered and is literally everywhere, so when the two of you hang out together after school or at the weekend, blue-haired feels that he can breathe and relax every muscle in his body. You’re his comfort person, and your room is a safe place without fear and noise.

↘ He also enjoys physical contact, but much more prefers to show affection in private, for example in your home or in his own bedroom.

↘ His favorite type of PDA is cuddling; he prefers to be a big spoon and hug you from behind, but he has no problem hugging against your chest or warm stomach, especially when he feels down because of school or racing.

↘ I have a strange feeling that Langa is the type of romantic who would make an amazing Spotify playlist for the two of you so you could listen to the songs, cuddling each other in the bed.

↘ If you can skateboard that’s great! For sure you, Langa and Reki will be a good trio that will meet often in the skate park or in ‘S’. I’m also pretty sure he’ll cheer for you, but at the same time he’ll be very cute with it and definitely more calm than his bestie. For example, if you do a trick... you’ll get a quick kiss on the nose or Langa will buy you your favorite drink. He definitely likes to pamper you.

↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard but you really want to start skateboarding to share your lover’s passion... Well, he will definitely give you a short (long) monologue about how dangerous it is, and you need to be careful – because he knows best of all how a fall on butt or face hurts.

↘ He always keeps a tiny set of colored plasters in his jacket or pants pocket to take care of you in the case of an unexpected accident, as Reki used to care for him.

↘ He’s a good teacher, but he will definitely need to calm his emotions, because sometimes instead of showing you how to slide down the railing, he will suggest something more down-to-earth, like going to the cinema to watch the movie you mentioned three days ago.

— MIYA

↘ Ahh, my precious smol baby.

↘ You are Miya’s first partner, so he still thinks that he’s not good enough for you, although you always reassure him with a light peck on the nose that he’s the best thing that has happened to you and that you’re very glad that you can be with him in every good and bad moment.

↘ The teenager is terribly shy about any physical contact outside, so if you aren’t at home, don’t expect a ton of hugs or kisses from him. He much prefers when you two are alone – then he doesn’t feel overwhelmed by the gazes of other people, especially other skaters who like to make fun of him. 

↘ I swear I’ll bite and beat them all...

↘ Miya is a delicate soul and he really likes to feel that someone look after him, so in a relationship he definitely prefers when you cares for him. For example; just touch his soft hair, ask about his well-being or when he will have a race and a huge smile will appear on his face.

↘ I think if he feels that you are the only one for him... Maybe he will lend you his favorite hoodie with cat ears and tail? He’ll be overjoyed to see that you feel good in it. You look extremely cute, but he’ll never admit it. 

↘ It smells like him, like wet earth and a hint of sweet perfume, and although it’s a strange combination, it feels really beautiful, downright safe and homey.

↘ For the next holiday (your birthday, your anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas), he will give you a sweatshirt that matches to his own. It will be in your favorite color and will also have an animal accessory, not necessarily catish, because if you prefer dogs, rabbits or cows... You know, there are many options.

↘ If you know how to skateboard, he will be really calm and will feel that finally someone will want to spend time with him, training and riding together; not like in childhood when everyone turned away from him. He will definitely be moved when you grab his smooth hand and offer a long ride in the park. He definitely loves praise, so give him praise every now and then when he does a nice trick. He will also compliment you more than once and even give you a kiss on the cheek (of course if nobody is watching!). He’s not good at words, but he tries!

↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard... He may be a bit skeptical, but naturally he’ll agree to a few lessons in front of your or his house. Of course you originally just wanted to be close to him and hold his hand more often than usual, but it turned out to be pretty fun! Now, training is your typical dates.

↘ Miya is a sweet boy and although he may not look like that, he’s really protective, often jealous and always puts you at first place.

— KAORU

↘ This beautiful man, this angel-looking ideal, this ahhhh... Being in a relationship with him is pure pleasure and daily healing for the soul.

↘ He’s a calm, understanding and loving partner. I think he’s a bit old fashioned but that only adds much more charm to his person.

↘ He often calls you his ‘dearest’, ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’, isn’t that cute?

↘ You two don’t go out on dates too often, but I think Kaoru loves to spend time at home, having tea or on the couch while one of you is reading a book and the other is listening to music or just sleeping. He definitely doesn’t look like that, but he loves PDA/cuddling and is the best at it!

↘ He also likes it when you suggest learning calligraphy together. He never forced you to do this, but when he first heard that you would like to meet one of his passions, he was really happy and immediately showed you how to write with ink on the special paper he had in his flat. Obviously, more than once you ask him to write a simple letter or word, because you just love his handwriting and how focused he seems. He’s really hot then, I swear to god!

↘ You love his long hair and are always eager to give him a new, nice hairstyle; normal braid or fishtail braid. Maybe a bun or a ponytail with a few hairpins? He loves everything you do on him. In addition, the gentle head massage you give him each time is the most soothing thing in the world for him.

↘ If you know how to skating... He’s really surprised, but that doesn’t mean he’s unhappy or angry. He wants to see what you can do right away and you will surely feel a sweet kiss on your forehead more than once when the trick will be good or even better than you both thought. He’s a supportive boy, but doesn’t show it as vehemently as Reki, for example; he prefers to smile at you or clap softly.

↘ If you don’t know how to skate yet, but you asked him to teach you how to even stand on it... I imagine Kaoru going pale and trying to distract you from this idea because, as an experienced skater, he’s afraid that you will hurt yourself like any beginner. But your big eyes and ruddy cheeks are his weaknesses, so he’ll trust both you and Carla and help you keep your balance on his beloved, black-violet board. Reward him later with quick kisses or give him his favorites, okay?

↘ To sum up, Kaoru is a good and honest lover. He definitely loves your company and won’t mind spending his free time seriously and frivolously with you.

— KOJIROU

↘ This guy is the definition of the sentence ‘Through the stomach to the heart’. Any objections? No. So let’s gooooo!

↘ Kojirou is a PERFECT second half. Both in character and appearance. If he fall in love with someone seriously, and it will be you, then know that he’ll care for you like about a member of the royal family; breakfasts in bed, an Italian supper, the perfect choice of wine for a chicken or steak are things that have become a sweet daily thing for you at some point.

↘ He loves to show you affection and absolutely has no problem doing it in public, even when he’s working or when you two are in a tight crowd on the train or in the ‘S’ before his race. He will kiss you hard on the lips, grab your skin on your butt or hug your waist. It’s just that everyone needs to know that you belong to him. He’s just as clingy as Reki, and sometimes even worse and bolder.

↘ Of course he has cute side; he likes to lie on the bed or the sofa with you on his chest. He loves being between your thighs and sleep there. He definitely has a weak point in that when you you run your finger on his tattoo or cook dinner with him, throwing ingredients at him and laughing out loud.

↘ Another romantic who uses thousands of pet names (like babey, cutie, doll, pumpkin, kitten). Plus, he loves to dance with you in the kitchen and steal a few kisses here and there. Also, if you aren’t looking, he likes to surprise you with a big, bear hug.

↘ I think he’s a bit impatient, so he doesn’t like to sit at home and prefers dates in crazy places (such as an amusement park, swimming pool, karaoke bar) – it’s his favorite way of spending your time together. As a gentleman, he always pays for you, unless you go faster and bring your ATM card to the card reader as first. But don’t be surprised when Kojirou will just buy you cotton candy or popcorn shortly afterwards.

↘ If you know how to skateboard, he’s as excited as a kid and will definitely offer you a date at the skate park. Naturally, he wants to show off to others what a super cool partner he has, but he also wants others to know that you’re here together to kick everyone’s asses with your abilities. You’re definitely a powerful couple and you have the matching necklaces!

↘ But if you don’t know how to skating then... well, well, well. Just be prepared that one day (without even asking for it) you’ll stand on his beloved board and he will grab your hips, smiling silly. He enjoy skin ship so this guy feels utopian when he can be near you. He definitely won’t spare you compliments, long pecks, and smack your butt when you do something great, so you have to get used to it... and it’s going to be a long training session, so good luck, my friend.

↘ He’s a funny guy, but he’ll never cross your limits, so don’t worry about that. However, he will always find a topic for conversation or a joke to relax the atmosphere or cheer you up. You will never be bored with him.