#seeing all the TikTok's got me feeling extra lonely

[markleebee]

I want a bf solely for the purpose of dressing up as

Jessica Olson and Christopher Wilde for Halloween

[sirenlulls]

satellite → r. keating (b. skeetz)

pairings — robert keating x fem!reader

summary — what bobby skeetz would be like as your annoying boyfriend <3

spinning out, waiting for you to pull me in. i can see you're lonely down there. don't you know that i am right here?

i feel like you'd be a long-term relationship (like teenage years long term)

ik they went to some fancy all boys school so let's say you went to an all girls school near theirs that would often go on trips together (pls tell me that wasn't just my school that did that)

either that of you'd meet through extra curriculars or overlapping friend groups

EITHER WAY met when ye were young (13-14) and got together when ye were 16-17

tbh most people thought you'd only last a few months bcs it was a teenage relationship after all but you're so chill with each other that it became very clear very quick that ye were just different

major "my girlfriend's my best friend" vibes

because of that, every inhaler fan knows you

you're no longer referred to by your name

you're just "mother" now

it's low-key a problem

like in any of your instagram posts or cute little tiktoks, at least half of the comments have a silly little inhaler pfp and are calling you mother

anyways

he's so annoying

definitely a very playful relationship

mocking eachother and all that

telling anyone else (outside your friendgroup) to fuck off if they do the same

he himself wouldn't be very public with the relationship

like you wouldn't be the face of every instagram post but you'd be in a story every few weeks and you'd pop up in the middle of a photo dump here and there

the inhaler_on_tik account however....

fans play where's wally with you in the tiktoks

usually hiding in a window reflection or the hem of your jacket poking into frame

enough to know you're there

you'd be best friends with all the fans

gigs are your opportunity to make new friends

they all adore you

so many fan tiktoks from gigs just have you dancing away with them

they'd bring you flowers <3

but yeah even if bobby himself doesn't post you a lot, fans would get pictures of you two together and they'd be so cute 😭

most of them are taken before gigs when he's helping you out of the bus or ye're walking into the venue together

but someone got a picture of you two once at some silly little market in spain and you were looking at flowers and he was looking at you

they posted it to tiktok and you asked them to send it to you

it was your lockscreen for a bit x

BIRD BINGO!!!

if you're ever traveling without him, you'd take pictures of any birds you pass and send them onto him

i really need to make sure it's known that he'd be annoying

like imagine you're just lying in bed, reading or on your phone, and he just bellyflops on top of you

no warning

no escape

you're trapped

i said the same in my eli headcanons but i don't really get spooning vibes from him

no matter what way you fall asleep, at least some part of him will be touching you

whether he's full on wrapped around you or just got an arm thrown over your torso

it helps him sleep better

you're best friends with the band ofc

i mean, you practically grew up together

you and rob never have a moment of peace with them on tour

you could be curled up in bed, and all of a sudden, elijah's busting down your door and lying down beside ye to tell you about a new song idea

you finally think you're free for a moment having a smoke by the back of the bus? nope, ryan's there now purely because he wanted to annoy ye

josh is nice on ye though (not really) (he makes fun of ye all the time) (he's my little pookie bear angel) (he can do no wrong)

they love having you around

and even if you leave the tour bus to get some snacks and come back to them trying on your dresses and robert doing josh's eyeliner you love having them around too

you're starting to get the mother thing

they do feel like you're hyperactive little children

bobby skeetz, the man that you are, you'd be a great boyfriend

[saintsenara]

Hey, hope you're having a wonderful day. Scylla and Charybdis was how I found you, but I really do love Other Women and of Purer Blood. One, I love love love your portrayal of Severus Snape and just how you depict the whole mess that he got himself wrapped in his late teenage years. I rarely see such good portrayals these days. Second, I love how you wrote Narcissa and the woes of her marriage life and the pure loneliness she feels and how you twisted a line from canon to a whole new side of both Narcissa and Severus. I simply adore how you write the women of the HP world. Especially now with Tiktok and the eruption of new ships like Nobleflower or Quillkiller - I couldn't care less about new ships but most of the works are original and I cannot align them with the characters written in canon. Thank you for your hard work. <3

thank you very much @be-at-peace05, i am having a wonderful day and i really appreciate this lovely comment.

i'm delighted to see scylla and charybdis get a shoutout, not least because i'm dawdling on the next chapter and shall now get off my arse and finish it.

the toxic mess that is severus snape/lord voldemort is my poison of choice, not least because i think it has so much potential to not just be horrific. after all, the canonical voldemort really likes him, the canonical snape clearly has a thing for powerful men, and the material circumstances which led to snape's radicalisation are something which voldemort - to be fair to him - seems to be the only person in britain willing to do anything about. there's so much complexity there, not just for a deep dive into the social and political context of seventies britain (wizarding and muggle) which gives me a chance to indulge my conviction that the whole thing is like the troubles, but also for - despite all the odds - a love story.

it also gives me a chance to indulge my own anti-marauders-fanon agenda and write regulus black as a complete knob.

the conspiracy theory hill i will die on is that narcissa malfoy/severus snape is canon. maybe not that it's a full-blown, lady chatterley's lover-style sexual affair as in other women and of purer blood, but that there is some sort of closeness between them that everyone except lucius has clocked.

this is because i am convinced - convinced - that narcissa is indeed the person voldemort is referring to in the line from which the story gets its name.

he desired her, that was all, but when she had gone, he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him.

[incidentally, from a scylla and charybdis viewpoint, i love the idea of those two sitting down for a chat about girls.]

this is a much less charitable lucius than i usually write (or, at least, a less charitable lucius in his relationship with narcissa - he's a dick towards most other people regardless of the story), but it ended up being really interesting to think about how he might function as the sort of aloof aristocratic husband found in so much british literature and, in particular, how that coldness might interact with the oppressiveness of narcissa's confinement within what are clearly - even if jkr thinks otherwise - quite oppressive gendered expectations.

i'm always struck by the fact that narcissa's narrative mirror - molly weasley - must be quite lonely. she's the only member of the family not interested in quidditch, she doesn't seem to have a social circle, her self-conception is directed though her children, she must spend her child-free hours - so every day, once ginny's at school - just rattling around the house. and i could easily see how narcissa - at the other end of the social spectrum - might feel the same. she has no real friends, she feels excluded by lucius' parents, she knows she should be pregnant but doesn't seem to be able to get there, and she spends her days drifting around her enormous house. she also feels - and i think this is important to understanding her - extra pressure to conform because neither bellatrix nor andromeda have.

and then snape - who spends canon being remarkably tender to her - turns up and upends her world...

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Attention feat Kazutora Hanemiya

author note :  I was obsessed with this TikTok and couldn’t kick it out my mind, now I’m not sure if it’s actually his Seiyuu who is dubbed it but it sure felt like it. I can’t breath anymore lol. It feels good to be able to write ngl. Enjoy ♡ 

-->If you’re curious you can find the TikTok right here 

Warning : SFW but I can make a NSFW version if you’re asking for it / It’s not Spoiler-free so  if you didn’t catch up with the manga you’ll be spoiled I’m sorry but stay safe ♡ 

Masterlist

i do not own those pictures they came from Pinterest so credit to their owner

it's kinda short to my apologies I would do better next time

Kazutora Hanemiya 羽宮ハネミヤ一虎カズトラ

I can’t see him dating anyone before the time skip, even if we got proof that he was interested into people (we all see the way he was looking when he was at the beach). But during this time, he was a teenager more over he already a family, people who he cared about. He just didn’t feel the need to add a significant other, he has his family, he had Toman.

Now I’m not saying that he wouldn’t date anyone when he was a teenager but he was so focused on Toman on his family than I can’t believe he got time to date someone, especially since he was busy kicking ass with his friends Baji.

But no matter if you met him during his teenage, after he left the juvenile prison or when he left prison. You’re going to need some patience with him. He has lived a lot of things. He is still a broken man who is this close of loosing his entire mind.

I believe that I first you would be the only one working on this relationship, I mean you would do the whole flirty thing and at first he’ll barley interact with you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel proud for your compliment and that he isn’t happy that you are interested in him. It just that everytime he felt close to someone, they either die or just left him.

He wasn’t sure if he was mentally, physically, emotionally ready for any kind of relationship

So yeah at first you would be the only to text/call first, you’ll be the only who is taking news might be the only one to think about where to go out together.

Most of the times you would feel insecure, after all he was so handsome maybe he just didn’t care about you ? Maybe you were bothering him ? Maybe he wasn’t interested in you and was just giving you a favor when he was answering back.

You would feel as if he didn’t care all as if your love was unrequited

But don’t worry about it, this situation wouldn’t last as long as you thought it would will.

His walls will finally shattered down and he’ll feel like he can finally be himself with you, showing you his insecurity, providing you all the love his broken heart got.

When this will happen, my my, you signed for the clingiest boyfriend of all time (top 3 at least)

I’m not kidding I just feel it, the boy got a lot of loves and needs to give and receiving (especially receiving).

You know those cliche movie where the boyfriend climb into your house so he could reach your bedroom ? He will do it, especially if he got free times and he felt lonely. Kazutora will just randomly climb into your bedroom and will knock at it with a lovely smile as if everything was normal (for fuck sake use the damn door baby boi).

He loves hugs whether he is the one who is been hugged of if you’re the one, either way he is fine as long as he gets close to you. Your warmth tends to relax him. He might even fall asleep if you’re stroking his hair or his neck (bonus point if you’re tracing the ink mark of his tattoo)

I feel like he loves kissing you too ? Like he just can’t stop kissing you ? He is an addict kisser. Like one day you were visiting him at the petshop dropping him a bento because you wanted to spoil your boyfriend. Even though he claimed to Chifuyu that he wasn’t tired 5min before you were here, suddenly he felt like he needs his 10min break. Guess who finds themselves being pushed against the wall as their boyfriends was kissing them deeply ? You. And he just didn’t kiss you once, no no that would be too simple, he will kiss you again and again one hand holding yours against the wall the other would be either on your cheek or on your neck. Good luck to find your breath after that. Believe me when I say that even when you were about to leave him so you could go back to school or whenever you were expected, Kazutora will take your hands in his to bring you against his chest to steal you a couple of kisses before finally leaving you.

Like I said he is an addict.

I can see him as the type to sometimes grab both of your cheeks with his hand and then kiss you, again and again.

He jus loves being close to you, so when you two are out for a date or just because you got the chance to meet him while you were going home. Kazu won’t hesitate and hold your hand stroking it with his fingers.

Holding hand is a minimum for him to best honestly

If he could he’d rather spend all of his time in your arms humming your smell getting warmth against you. But he can’t, so he is going to appreciate every occasion he got to get you close to him.

Since you’re his significant other Kazutora will be extra protector when it came to you, not afraid of threatening anyone that might be a bother to you.

Also he is jealous, he knows he shouldn’t feel like this especially since you’re always giving so much love and attention. But he can’t help but feel insecure, he knows what he is capable of, he knows his past, he knows what he has done, he is not perfect and certainly does not deserve love coming from such a piece of heaven like you. Yeah there would be time when Kazutora might be sad, feel down, and even though he’ll work on it so you won’t see it (afraid that you might be disappointed and will leave him) but you can tell that he is not feeling well.

Please, hold him tightly, tell him you love him, reminds him of much you cared about him, show him that there is no reason for him to be afraid. He just needs reassurance that you are here for good and that one day he wouldn’t wake up without you by side.

I just feel like he loves sleeping next to you, just the thought of sharing the same bed as him and getting the chance of waking up with you next to him is just his definition of heaven.

I also feel like is a tease, not on Mikey’s level, but I feel like sometimes out of nowhere Kazu will tickle you or whispering you something just to get to see your face turning red and then chuckle.

He is also the type to always give you his sweatshirt/coat, you don’t even need to be cold, if he noticed that you had been looking at his cloth or if you just compliment it boom its around your shoulder. It can be a way to show his possessiveness, like everyone would know that you belong to him who knows ? At least you won’t be cold.

He also the type to lay down on your bed and look at you with a loving smile, whether you were sleeping or not he doesn’t stop him from slightly stroking your cheeks bone, your cheek or even your lips loving the feeling of his hand/finger on your skin. It’s so smooth and soft he just can’t help.

Sometimes especially when he is sleepy, he will whisper things into your ear, kiss your all over your face.

A sucker for worshiping (do it for himself too)

Also he is not afraid to tell you he loves you, he might be not the first one to confess but once he knows that you love him. « I love you y/n » would be the first thing you will hear while waking up also the last thing before sleeping.

I think he might like the thought of you styling his hair even if all you’ve done was putting some cute clips on his hair he likes it and will even let you take picture. He is a sucker for your smile

Buy him jewelry and he will never take them off especially ring or necklace he just loves seeing you marking your territory.

As I stated before he is probably the type to overthinking a lot, like one day if you didn’t give the smile you used to give him, he is 100% you’ll dump him at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s not as bad as that, like you called him by his last name to tease him, he’ll just pout at you and then give you kiss all over your and won’t stop until you called him either by his name or by a nickname. But yes sometimes if you’re acting a little bit too cold to him he’ll think that your relationship is over, and will start to panic no knowing what to do to keep you by his side.

That’s the think with Kazutora he loves you more than he loves himself so he knows as a fact that he will be lost without you (not the only one to be honest but that’s for another headcanon)

So obviously you’ll need to be careful but since you’re still a human keep in mind to check him after if you’ve done something that let him think you guys were over.

Also, I can picture him to sometimes disappear. Like no one know where he is, not even you. He never left for too long (worst case : he leaves for a day), but sometimes he feels like he needs to be alone, like really alone. So he isolated himself for everyone, no one will know where he left, what he has done. But when he came back he always got that peaceful smile, the one where is eyes got nothing but regrets in them.

You feel like he spent his time in front of Baji ans Shinichiro’s grave, cause even years after this incident he couldn’t forgive himself for what he’s done to them. He can’t forgive him. Since he is lucky to be alive, sometimes he needs to see them in order to give him some strength in order to stay alive.

All the time when he is zoning out, you know he is thinking about all the bad things he has done to the people he cares the most, and even though he is working hard to be a better person what was done can’t be undone. Again hold his hand, stroke his hair do whatever you can to help him staying safe and not falling into his old demons.

Protect him at all cost.

Tag : @kshira

[miekasa]

random boyfriend eren hcs (modern/college au)

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern/college au, himbo eren supremacy as per usual, but can you imagine eren, armin, and jean living together in one house bye

↯ notes: this is me once again trying out this headcanon format, also because i have lots of thoughts about eren (being normal) and going to college lmao

↯ more notes: sorry i have to repost this again tumblr is being dumb ://

Not a frat boy, but definitely lives by the mantra “work hard, party harder.”

Likes going out to frat parties and keggers first year, but calms down as time goes on. Sophomore year is more house parties and occasionally going downtown to clubs. By the time junior year rolls around tho, he and Jean are thee party hosts. Homecoming, Halloween, Pre-Thanksgiving break, you name it, those two have a reason to throw a party for it

But party doesn’t always mean absolute rager. Sometimes it’s just drinking with your friends, playing pong, and absolutely crushing Jean at uno. 

At parties with lots of other people, Eren really doesn’t let people fuck around with you, or any of his friends really. Once almost got into a fight because he watched a guy out his hands on yours and Mikasa’s waists to “move around you.” As if. 

Wears his key necklace around all the time, obviously. So he gives you a necklace with a lock on it, with both of your initials engraved on the back. 

Nobody really notices it at first, since the chains are long and the necklaces are you usually tucked inside your shirts. But one day, ever the observant one, Armin catches a glimpse of yours resting on top of your shirt. Cue squinted eyes looking back and forth between you and Eren before—eureka! “You and Eren have matching necklaces!!!”

Plays sports, not for a scholarship but just for fun. Gets very pouty when you can’t make it to his games; and gets extra pouty if you show up, but you’re not wearing his jersey.

On the flip side, gets very giddy when he sees you in the stands with his jersey on and very ostentatiously scoops you up into a hug after the game is over.

Literally does not know where the library is until you show it to him. Any of them. Help him.

The worst person to study with if he doesn’t have any actual work to do. Will bother you and prefer to gossip than to let you do your work in peace. If you need an actual study buddy, you should try Mikasa.

Drunkenly hits on you a lot. Scratch that, he hits on you regardless, drunk or sober, despite the fact that you’re literally dating him already.

Literally reserves at least two nights of the week to have dinner with Armin bye and you couldn’t even interrupt them if you tried.

Waits for you outside of your classroom if you’ve had an important presentation or something. Not always with anything cheesy or loud, but just to be able to cheer you on and congratulate you after.

Hates the act of going grocery shopping, but loves going with you. Also because you force him to buy things other than Anytizers and Kraft Mac and Cheese.

Steals your hair ties and scrunchies to put his hair up. Does not fucking give them back, and denies having them, even if they’re piling up on his wrist.

Will drive you anywhere and everywhere. He is your personal Uber. Even if you don’t want him to be, he would rather die than let you get into an actual Uber—and if it’s late at night? Forget it, Eren doesn’t care if you’re 45 mins away, he’ll come get you.

After you stabbed him with your pen for drawing in your notebook (with your very pristine notes), he started leaving sticky notes inside of them instead.

They’re all super random, usually incoherent, and sometimes just drawings, and you’d never tell him, but you keep every single one.

Cuts class a lot, but not to the point where he’s failing. Just when he feels like it’s deserved, you know? Like, if he attended lecture for a class all week, he deserved to skip Friday’s lecture. As a treat.

He’s embarrassing. Endearing, but so embarrassing. Like, singing in the middle of the street embarrassing. Asking you to do a TikTok in public embarrassing. Why do you even love him.

Moves off-campus during junior year and rooms with Jean and Armin in three-bedroom house. So, he’s never actually lonely, but he’s a little crybaby and will whine to get to you to come over.

LOVES sleeping over at your place, though. Because you live with Annie and Mikasa, so your place is always clean and always smells good. Plus Mikasa and Annie are usually busy, which means you get more privacy at your place.

Mikasa honestly just starts making breakfast for Eren in the mornings when he does sleep over, and Annie is so unfazed by his presence.

Jumps at the opportunity to join in on your girls wine-night or skincare-routine night. So what if it’s him and three other girls drinking red wine with face masks on and talking about Anne Hathaway movies while playing Monopoly Deal? It leaves him pleasantly buzzed and his skin is absolutely glowing, suck his dick, Connie.

Likely doesn’t understand a thing about your major/program but listens enthusiastically when you talk about it anyways.

His lock screen is the only selfie he’s ever convinced you to take with him. (That’s okay because he has many screenshots of your snaps for safekeeping and blackmailing).

Tries to get you to exercise with him. If you’re into that, then great. If you’re not, it’s okay, he always has time to stop and take a mid-workout thirst trap to send your way. Because he’s annoying like that.

Once accidentally replied to the whole class instead of just the professor on an email asking him to be a g and bump his 89.9 to a 90. Embarrassing. (The prof did raise in the end tho, so maybe he really does have some charm to him).

Has to wear reading glasses when studying for a long time/or at his computer for a long time, and even though he doesn’t like them, you think he looks super cute in them; so he wears them more often than usual. 

Calls you asking for the most obscure school supplies/stationary. “Babe, hey, you wouldn’t happen to have a spare 4x8 poster board laying around now would you?” 

Mind you this is at, like, 3am, 12 hours before the poster board in question is due. 

Speaking of stationary, is an absolute little shit and steals your good pens. He’s partial to the sparkly ones, if he’s being honest. They make his notes look better, fuck you, Jean. 

“Eren, give me back my purple 0.4mm pen.” “I don’t know what that is, sorry.” “Eren, I can see it in your hand!” 

Brings you snacks while you’re studying. If you’re really trying to crack down and be serious, he won’t even bother you. Just bring the snacks, bring you water and boba, kiss your little forehead and be on his way.

Has a polaroid camera he got as a birthday gift, and uses it to sneak pictures of you whenever you’re not looking. He keeps the good ones hung up on a sponge board in his room.

He has a few.... riskier ones too, but those are for his eyes only.

Loves to pick out your nail color when you get your nails done. Honestly gets a little pouty when you don’t ask him lmaoo

Purposely leaves his clothes around so you can wear them. Isn’t subtle about it in the slightest. Sometimes leaves them with a note: “Please wear this, you’d look cute as fuck. Thank you. —Management.”

(slightly nsfw below)

Is not too proud to ask you for risqué snaps. Not necessarily full nudes, thought he doesn’t object to those.

Will literally give you hickeys out of boredom. Will pull you onto his lap and start kissing your neck because he has nothing better to do. Also because it leads to sex 7/10 times. The other 3 times, it’s because he falls asleep with his head in your neck lmaoo

Might have once fucked you with one of his lectures playing in the background, but you’ll never tell.

He really likes phone sex. He’s shit at being quiet, so he can only really do it when Jean and Armin are out of the house, but there’s something about only being able to hear your moans to get off that really does it for him.

He’s kind of goofy and absentminded sometimes, so sometimes you’ll be mid-sex and he’ll look at you like “Hey, did you finish your assignment, it’s due tomorrow right?”

And honestly, you kinda wanna be upset, but then you start thinking—“Did I finish my assignment?” And then you realize you did and nod and he’s like “Ok, cool,” kisses your forehead and resumes where you left off.

[tsukishumai]

Away Games - MSBY Black Jackals

A/N: WOW it feels so so long since i’ve done an HC i kinda feel like i forgot how to :( ahhh im sorry this one sucks LOL but im feeling a bit burned out & this brought me a lil comfort so i hope it brings some for u too :)

Bokuto

Shamelessly facetiming you every possible second.

He’s not terribly upset to be away, to be honest, because he’s doing what he loves, but a huge part of him still misses you.

So he settles for the next best thing

And it doesn’t matter what you’re doing; if you’re at work, if you’re out shopping, if you’re sitting on the toilet – Bokuto will blow up your phone until you answer.

“What took you so long to answer?” “Kou, I was on the toilet.” “No way! Me too! Soulmates <3”

He’s always telling you stories about the dumb things that go on during practice, he complains about how his shoulder’s been feeling a little tense lately, and the food at the hotel reminds of the food they used to serve at Fukurodani

But he always wants to hear about your day too. He asks if your coworker is still being a jerk, he wonders if you managed to try the new drink at the café you mentioned the other day, and he reminds you that he’s coming back in a couple days, so make sure you remember to pick him up from the airport!

When he can’t facetime, he’s sending you videos; videos of the guys goofing off at practice, videos of him working out, videos of behind the scene interviews.

He’s sad you don’t get to be there with him but he does everything he can to share his experiences with you anyway

Bokuto even started his own personal tradition during every away game

If MSBY wins, he sends flowers to your door step.

If MSBY loses, he still sends you flowers anyway because he just wants you to know that he’s thinking of you always

Atsumu

He doesn’t want to admit it, but Atsumu goes into emo mode whenever he’s away.

When you ask him how he’s doing, he’ll always tell you that he’s fine

But the pictures Bokuto and Hinata sent you of Atsumu crying into his protein shake tell you a different story.

You try to make him feel better by sending him tiktoks and memes, and it works for a second, until he sees a mug in the tiktok that looks JUST like the mug you got for him when you first started dating, and now all he’s thinking about is how he wants go back home and drink his coffee from that mug, not the cheap paper ones from his hotel room and god, can the days go by any slower?

talk about dramatic

But you can never stand to see Atsumu so down

And you don’t do this every single time, but when MSBY loses and Sakusa was the one to text you a video of Atsumu staring longingly out his hotel window, you asked him what city their next game was going to be in, and bought yourself a plane ticket there.

You don’t want to spoil Atsumu like this. You really don’t, and you usually won’t

But when you walk into the gym, Atsumu’s eyes land on you, and his entire face lights up, his whole demeanor changes, he’s standing a little taller, his smile a little wider, and all of a sudden, the whole room just felt so much brighter.

He’s in the middle of a pre-game interview, and all of a sudden his words trail off and the interviewer’s like “Miya-san? You were saying?”

But he can’t wait any more, so he’ll excuse himself, and all cameras are on him when he scoops you up from the floor and plant kisses all over your face.

You don’t always spoil Atsumu like this, but when he points at you after scoring his third service ace in a row, you know you’ve done a good thing

Sakusa

grumpycat.jpg

Sakusa doesn’t tell you he misses you because he doesn’t really think he does? It’s normal for professional athletes to spend time away from their s/o, right? This was to be expected, Sakusa knew you guys would have to spend some time apart, he was prepared for this.

Still, irritation floods through him when he wakes up to a shrill alarm instead of your sweet voice. 

He snaps at Bokuto when he has to eat the team’s provided lunch, and not the lunch you make and pack for him.

He’s particularly cranky when his uniform was wrinkled on game day, and you weren’t there with your emergency Wrinkle-Release Spray

He doesn’t directly say ‘I miss you’ but you hear it in his words anyway.

When he complains about the hotel’s mattress and how it’s “nothing compared to our bed at home” you know that he feels your absence.

“The food here makes me want to gag, all I want is your tempura”

“My skin feels so raw from the scratchy towels; the towels you bought us feel much softer.”

“Babe, how’d you manage to make all my stuff fit in my luggage? I can’t pack it the way you do.”

Sakusa most likely won’t blow up your phone, but he always makes sure to send you a good morning and good night text

He doesn’t buy you flowers, but when he gets home, he hands you a large bag without saying anything.

“What’s all this?” you grunt, cause damn that bag was heavy.

But Sakusa was shrugged. “Souvenirs. I thought you’d like them.”

And you squeal in excitement, pulling him to sit down on the same couch that he’s been thinking of for weeks, a smile on his face as he watches you sift through all the little knick knacks and presents that reminded him of you.

Hinata

EXCITED BOY

He’s constantly texting you and checking in, even when he doesn’t have to

☀️Shoyo☀️(6:58am): We just got to the gym where they’re letting us practice!

☀️Shoyo☀️(7:01am): I’m about to go into the locker room and change now

☀️Shoyo☀️(7:05am): Whoops I think I made the wrong turn.

☀️Shoyo☀️(7:07am): Whoa, this gym is pretty big; I wonder what other sports they could use it for?

☀️Shoyo☀️(7:15am): Wait, I can’t find my way back

☀️Shoyo☀️(7:30am): Babe, help

He doesn’t facetime you like Bokuto, but he is blowing up your phone just the same.

He misses you of course, that’s a given, but to be honest he mostly does it because he doesn’t want YOU to miss HIM.

Maybe that’s the wrong way to put it; he wants you to miss him but he doesn’t want to ever make you feel lonely.

He knows that feeling so well :( he never wants to be the cause of your loneliness. And if he had to pick between being a persistent man or an aloof man, then Hinata will choose persistence five hundred times over.

Hinata has an incredible talent of being able to make you smile and laugh, even if it’s simply through a screen, from hundreds of miles away.

Even though his career and ever-changing schedule can make things a little extra challenging, when you see him play on TV, watch as the crowd cheers and hollers for Hinata, listen to the way the commentators describe his insane plays, and you realize you don’t mind having to share Hinata with the world

Because when he stares directly into the camera and smiling while he holds both hands over his heart, you know this gesture was meant only for you.

[watsername]

okay prior to Turin here's how I feel about the songs,, reasons under the cut

(link to tier maker, I added in an extra column)

S TIER

ITALY- BRIVIDI, MAHMOOD & BLANCO

- im not usually a ballad fan but this made me cry the first time I listened to it, its just so passionate !! they both have such beautiful voices and they go together so beautifully!!! I watched their Sanremo performance and it was just beautiful honest to god its in my Spotify on repeat already

UKRAINE- STEFANIA, KALUSH ORCHESTRA

- I love the way Ukraine has been combing cultural elements with modern music in Eurovision I mean we had it last year with SHUM and it just works so well!!!! that's what eurovision is about baby !!! its so catchy !!!

LATVIA- EAT YOUR DALAD, CITI ZĒNI

- im not even apologising for this its an unironic banger its at the top of my Spotify on repeat I listen to it all the time I will not stand for criticism!!! its fun and danceable and catchy and literally just iconic. I will kill myself if they don't qualify for the finals

A TIER

DENMARK- THE SHOW, REDDI

- girlboss moment !! I wasn't sure what to expect n then I thought it was a rock ballad but its just a rock song with a build up and honestly. it slapped. I love a good punk rock drummer the high energy the guitar solo yaaaas I loved it. that drummer hot too

UNITED KINGDOM- SPACE MAN, SAM RYDER

- man has a powerful voice!! im surprised at the uk this year I think we have a chance or scoring decently this year !! I haven't seen any live performance so I really hope hes able to hold up those high notes live !!!! kind of emotional, although not my favourite style of music. vaunt wait to see how they stage it !!!!

SPAIN- SLO-MO, CHANEL

- very catchy song and great performance !! its got that kind of glamorous energetic sex appeal that a lot of people expect to see in eurovision !!!! its got great potential to go viral especially on tiktok as a dance challenge or anything really

AUSTRALIA- NOT THE SAME, SHELDON RILEY

- such an amazing live performance !! such a gorgeous voice !!! its a beautiful song but you still have the sense of camp portrayed through the costuming and drama of the performance and its done so well you can see the story in the performance its just so beautiful I want to move this one up to S tier now pretend its in S tier

FRANCE- FULENN, ALVON & AHEZ

- witchy vibes, loved it, great harmonies all four of them have such gorgeous voices . the only thing I didn't like was that lone dancer she seemed a little out of place, but im willing to bet it'll look good in Turin.

SLOVENIA- DISKO, LDS

- when I first heard it I was like omg I love the vintage vibe then realised it was called disco bc its based on 70s disco bc I have no working braincells. its funky its catchy its upbeat I love it. my main man seemed a little awkward on stage Id love to see him get into it a little more but I bet they'll do great !!! love the bass line

FINLAND- JEZEBEL, THE RASMUS

- I love a good punk song no surprise its coming from Finland lmao I vibe with it it'll probably end up in a Spotify playlist

ISREAL- I.M., MICHAEL BEN DAVID

- he really did it for the girls and the gays !!!!!!! it was camp it was fun it was glamorous what's not to enjoy!! at times feels like a verse on a ru Paul song but I don't know if that subtracts from or adds to the vibe

POLAND- RIVER, OCHMAN

- lowkey didn't think id enjoy this one but I did !! its been growing on me !!!! he has a gorgeous voice and the chorus gets stuck in my head

CYPRUS- ELA, ANDROMACHE

- its not my favourite of this years entries but it gets stuck in my head from time to time and she has such great control over his voice its gorgeous

B TIER

The Netherlands- DE DIEPTE, S10

- its catchy, but its just generally not the kind of music I vive to , great ballad though

BELGIUM- MIS YOU, JÉRÉMIE MAKIESE

- extremely talented guy wow cant wait toes it live I bet if its staged right and this high notes come across well it'll be such an emotional performance, a little too slow paced for me and although he sung it beautifully I wonder what it would have been like if he optioned up after the bridge instead of staying low

AUSTRIA- HALO- LUM!X

- don't get me wrong great vocals honestly, the song itself just didn't stand out much to me . a kind of mid tier song for me.

ROMANIA, LLÁMAME, WRS

- cultural banger girls and gays edition !!!! not my favourite entry but still pretty decent nonetheless

MALTA- I AM WHAT I AM, EMMA MUSCAT

- love the theme Malta's been going with lately with the whole self love and worth stuff, but this years vaguely remind me of Disney channel or like that phase in 2015 where people would release songs about being confident or how strong they and that snot necessarily a bad thing its just. a thing.

SWEDEN- HOLD ME CLOSER, CORNELIA JAKOBS

- again didn't stand out for me much, but she has a lovely voice

C TIER

ALBANIA- SEKRET, RONELA HAJATI

-loved the instrumentals but it felt to me a little too broken up like I love a good bit of chreography but it felt more important than the vocals at times

ICELAND- MEÐ HÆKKANDI, SYSTUR

- I expected to pick up a little more than it did, and folk isn't really my favourite thing but all and all its not a bad song I get why people enjoy it

MONTENEGRO- BREATHE, VLADANA

- powerful voice its great, just too slow paced for me, the instrumentals vaguely remind me of Karma from last year, I vibe with that

GREECE- DIE TOGETHER, AMANDA GEORGIADI TENFJORD

- makings of a viral song if im honest I can see it in a few peoples Spotify playlists, just not mine really. the last chorus was beautiful that was the highlight of the song to me

CZECH REPUBLIC- LIGHTS OFF, WE ARE DOMI

- lots of potential if im honest, its just not my favourite song. nothing wrong with it, just not my style, cant wait to see how they stage it though if its staged well it'll do really well I think

AZERBAIJAN- FADE TO BLACK, NADIR RUSTAMLI

- almost reminds me of tout l'univers ?? like just a specific part I feel like it could go straight into tout l'univers. overall a good song just not for me, bound to be beautiful with staging

NORTH MACEDONIA- CIRCLES, ANDREA

- I don't really have any criticisms on this song, its just not my taste really,

GERMANY- ROCKSTARS, MALIK HARRIS

- I enjoyed it but the rap felt a little out of place, almost like a twenty one pilots song . its not bad though

CROATIA- GUILTY PLEASURES, MIA DIMSIC

- yeah decent song, just wasn't a big fan of the staging I hope they up it a bit more at Turin. what was the point of making it look like she was playing the guitar if she was just gonna stop halfway through. the slight moment she had was good, use it let her interact with the dancer more

GEORGIA- LOCK ME IN, CIRCUS MIRCUS

- I keep going back and forth over this song I don't know, It was a bit lack lustre for me but the chorus goes hard. mid tier

D TIER

SERBIA- IN COPORE SANES, KONSTRAKTA

- I had no clue what was going on this entire song why was she singing about Megan Markle's hair. is there an issue with lack of healthcare in Serbia. I didn't really get the message

ARMENIA- SNAP, ROSA LINN

- this one felt like that 2014 phase with songs like riptide and like the vamps and everything , not exactly my favourite thing . talented don't get me wrong just not my cup of tea

LITHUANIA- SENTIMENTAI, MONIKA LIU

- really just didn't catch my attention, too slow paced for me

BULGARIA- INTENTIONS- INTELLIGENT MUSIC PROJECT

- I appreciate the classic rock vibes the guitar solo went hard but at times it felt like an anime intro more than an ESC song

SAN MARINO- STRIPPER, ACHILLE LAURO

- I know everyones thinking like ohh youre a die hard måneskin fan you think hes a second rate damiano and I will say that I think there was an odd coincidence with timing but no, I recognise that Achille Lauro has been around a lot longer than Må and is a big celeb in Italy and San Marino it just feels a bit odd that he was only selected now given his status and I hope it wasn't influenced by må bc they have completely different sounds, every Italian celeb is a slut even world class chef Gino d'acampo. Was I confused at first, yes bc im not Italian and I didn't know him but I do now. anyway its d tier just bc I didn't vibe w the song that much I just didn't have any strong feelings on it

SWITZERLAND- BOYS DO CRY, MARIUS BEAR

- im sure it'll look amazing on stage but just didn't relay have any strong feelings on it

ESTONIA- HOPE- STEFAN

- lowkey avicci vibes?? just wasn't a huge fan of the western vibe it had going on but I appreciate the song

PORTUGAL- SAUDADE SAUDADE, MARO

- just wasn't enthused by it, I hope they do something with the staging in Turin it didn't really make me feel anything with them just sitting in chairs , I just didn't get a string stage presence from them

F TIER

IRELAND- THATS RICH, BROOKE

I don't have anything to say it just did not do it for me. I just didnt enjoy the live performance. if they use the staging to their advantage they could probably qualify but its just not doing it for me

NORWAY- GIVE THAT WOLF A BANANA, SUBWOOFER

- at first I thought it was funny but its starting to annoy me now lmaoo, but not a fan of the bridge and the whole banana breakdown . choreography slaps though

MOLDOVA- TRENULETUL, ZDOB SI ZDUB &FRATII ADVAHOV

- I appreciate the cultural aspect of it, just wasn't really inspired by it , cant wait to see how it'll translate onto the stage though

this took me like 2 hours its so late but im posting it anyway

[shrinkyclinksfest]

That's a wrap!

Thank you all so much for another successful run of Shrinkyclinks Fest! Altogether the works add up to 150K words of new Shrinkyclinks content and six new artworks! We want to thank all our wonderful writers, artists, promoters, promoters, readers, and supporters. We will see you all next year!

Without further ado, the Masterlist:

Title: Nazi Punks Fuck Off [Shrinkyclinks AU] Creator: bleedxblack Medium (fic, art, podfic, etc.): digital art Rating: G Prompt #: 22 Warnings: N/A Summary: Local punk Steve Rogers goes to see his hardcore vocalist boyfriend, Bucky, perform with his band, Widow. Friend and guitarist Natasha took the first photo of them after the band had finished their set. Steve took the following photo himself while he watched his friends and lover play on stage.

Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33271081

Title: Steve has hot guy problems Creator: HeyBoy Medium (fic, art, podfic, etc.): digital art Rating: T Prompt #: 33 Warnings: N/A Summary: For the ShrinkyClinks Fest prompt: Meet-cute at the gym! Smol Steve is determined to work on his cardio and fitness. He reluctantly goes to the gym, feeling intimidated but ready to spit fire at anyone who so much as looks at him twice. He is going to get a good workout, damnit. Ignore the clunkheads. Ignore the gym rats. Ignore the super hot guy with long hair and stormy eyes who always seems to be using the equipment near Steve. That wasn't so bad! Now we can shower and go home. Wait, hot guy is also in the shower and… he's singing. WAIT hot guy just exited the shower and now he knows that I know he was singing!.

Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33271468

Title: asthma attacks, fire escapes, and chai Creator: beemotionpicture Medium: fic Rating: gen Wordcount: 6,657 Prompt #: 9 Warnings: none Summary: It happens because of his asthma of all things.

As soon as he feels short of breath he starts rooting through his messenger bag for his inhaler. Steve has a moment to think aha!and then fuck,before he’s losing his grip on the thing and it’s skidding across the pavement and into an alleyway.

He freezes when he realizes he’s not alone.

Steve hears a muffled sound coming from behind the dumpster, but that’s not what makes him look; no, it’s the metallic scent in the air which, with a creeping feeling of dread, he hopes isn’t blood. He looks. It’s blood.

And there’s a man sitting right in a puddle of it, leaning heavily against the brick wall and clutching his side with a metal hand.

How Steve finds an injured Bucky, nurses him back to health, and takes down a HYDRA agent while he’s at it. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33272239

Title: Highway Ghost Creator: Neonbat  Fic Rating: E Wordcount : 15820 Prompt #: 31 Warnings: Usual WS Bucky warnings Summary: Steve hated long drives, it was too easy to zone out, especially when you’re full of cook-out food and good times. Having someone fall out of nowhere right in front of his car wasn’t exactly something he’d ever consider a possibility. He had enough excitement already from his job as an ER Nurse. Except, where most people would have been laid out on the asphalt, the man dressed in black got up without a scratch and insisted medical care wasn’t needed. The fuck was his life?  Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33283738

Title: He "Accidently" Picked A Hot Roommate Creator: rufferto Medium: digital art Rating: G Prompt #: 48 Warnings: N/A Summary: Steve needs a roommate. He thinks he will never find one but then he meets Winter Soldier Bucky who needs a place to stay while he recovers. Steve offers him the room immediately and it turns out Bucky is a great roommate. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33279370

Title: special delivery Creator: @glim / glim Medium: fic Rating: Teen + Wordcount: ~6,000 words Prompt #: 30 Warnings: n/a Summary: Written for shrinkyclinksfest, Prompt #30: Steve Rogers has always been prone to sickness, but summer colds are the absolute worst. What he wants is a huge bowl of chicken noodle soup and some ice cream. What he gets is a food delivery guy who’s so built and hot Steve chokes on his tongue. That’s why he keeps ordering long after he’s recovered and how he finally gets Bucky Barnes into his apartment and his bed. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33343828

Title: When the Pool Closes Creator: buckybarnesdeservestobehappy  Fic Rating: T Wordcount : 1858 Prompt #: 36 Warnings: N/A Summary: Steve just wants to enjoy a day out in the sun by himself. That’s not too much to ask. Except it is, apparently. With such fair skin, sunscreen is a must, and there’s no way he can reach his entire back. He’s just going to have to find someone to help him apply it, and if the guy is ripped… Well, it’s not Steve’s fault that he’s got good taste. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33341596

Title: To the Future and the Past Creator: buckybarnesdeservestobehappy  Fic Rating: T Wordcount : 1465 Prompt #: 40 Warnings: Major character death Summary: Maybe a funeral isn’t the right time to admit to a gay love story, but Bucky doesn’t care. That’s what Steve wanted, and Bucky’s never been able to say no to the love of his life. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33358726

Title: A Shot Across The Bow Creator: Author: Becassine Artist: Call_me_kayyyyy  Art Rating: G Fic Rating: E Wordcount : 18382 Prompt #: 52 Warnings: Blood/Injury, Implied/Reference Abuse, Reference Slave Trade Summary: Bucky Barnes is a Pirate Captain, and one accustomed to getting his own way. When fate drops Steve Rogers in his path one lonely evening in Tortuga, his life is forever turned upside down. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33265450/chapters/82597747

Title: Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet Creator: Girl_Back_There Medium: Fic Rating: Mature Wordcount: 6214 Prompt #: 45 Warnings: Some Homophobic Language, Instances of Sexual Harassment against women Summary:Bucky doesn’t know how his mother managed to Jedi mind trick him into dropping off Becca at summer camp this year, but she somehow did it. Despite his grumpiness at the unreasonable hour in which he was wrenched from his nice and cozy bed, Bucky is glad for this time with his little sister. Becca spends their time talking about the activities she got to do last summer that she hopes will be back again this year, all of which was organized by Steve Rogers. After she came home from Camp Marvel last year, all Becca could talk about was Steve Rogers, one of the counselors for her team, The Howlies. Steve Rogers was an amazing artist. Steve Rogers participates in all of the competitions despite his asthma, scoliosis, heart arrhythmia, and various other medical issues. Steve Rogers totally drinks his respect women juice. Bucky would be worried about his sister may be developing a crush on this Steve guy, but after meeting him, Bucky is more preoccupied with the crush he's developing on Steve. So preoccupied in fact, he ends up signing on to be a camp counselor for the summer. Link to work:https://archiveofourown.org/works/33339220

Title:  The Way To A Man’s Heart Creator: Author: HaniTrash Artist: Kocuria_visuals  Art Rating: T Fic Rating: E Wordcount : 11852 Prompt #: 53 Warnings: N/A Summary: Steve Rogers, skinny Brooklynite, is a college student who makes old recipes and posts videos of them on tiktok. When Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier and Avenger, sees one, he's instantly hooked and becomes Steve's biggest fan. What follows next is a story of food, flirting, and a very unlikely pairing. But much like Steve’s unusual recipes, what shouldn’t work often does… Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33312223/chapters/82722664#workskin

Title: Maybe A Muse Creator: buckybarnesdeservestobehappy Medium (fic, art, podfic, etc.): fic Rating: M Wordcount: 2871 Prompt #: 28 Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Summary:  When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33393928

Title: Be My Breath Creator: Goosenik and clarkestetler Medium: Fic Rating: Teen and Up Wordcount: 44,575 Prompt #: 48 Warnings: N/A Summary: For the Shrinkyclinks Fest 2021 prompt: Steve needs a roommate. He thinks he will never find one but then he meets Winter Soldier Bucky who needs a place to stay while he recovers. Steve offers him the room immediately and it turns out Bucky is a great roommate.

Basically: Bucky moves in with Steve after he escapes from Hydra, and Steve begins the long process of helping Bucky remember how to be human again. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33275848/chapters/82626394

Title: Tap-Tap Into Your Heart Creator: huntress79​ Medium: Fic Rating: T Wordcount: 5k Prompt #: 6 Warnings: none, except for one blink-and-you’ll-miss-it mention of animal death  Summary: When HYDRA finally fell, the Soldier was lost, in more than one meaning. And for the next several months, he, more or less, drifted from one former safehouse to the other, always avoiding to stay too long in one place. Until he comes to Brooklyn - and finds a new purpose, again in more than one meaning… Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33416524

Title: I'd be selfish but never with you Creator: Lacunalady on Ao3 Medium: Fic Rating: E Wordcount: 20k Prompt #: 32 Warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Prompted with: "Arranged marriage AU. Steve is a prince and Bucky is a newly crowned king of the neighboring country having conquered/overtaken the last ruler. In order to keep the peace between their countries, Steve's father decides for them to wed. Steve is reluctant for several reasons but mainly because he wants to marry for love and the fact that Bucky has a reputation for being exceedingly ruthless in battle (aka the winter solider)" by Bangyababy on Tumblr! Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33424936

Title: Just Peachy Creator: Erosanderis Fic Rating: N/A Wordcount : 1266 Prompt #: 34 Warnings: N/A Summary: Steve Rogers was not looking forward to meeting his soulmate. Ever since the day he was born, he had the worst possible words on his forearm. So of course he would meet them at work. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33412060

Title: Knocking Boots with Sugar Creator: buckybarnesdeservestobehappy  Fic Rating: E Wordcount : 4095 Prompt #: 29 Warnings: N/A Summary: In between summers at college, Steve Rogers wants a new adventure beyond his lonely life in Brooklyn. He ends up in West Texas working on a dude ranch where Bucky Barnes is a long-time employee. When Bucky offers to buy Steve a drink, they end up drunk on tequila and making out in public. For the rest of the summer, they're inseparable. As the summer draws to a close, Steve realizes he doesn't want to leave. Link to work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33499603

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Something Domestic

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: You never thought your life to be grand, but you never saw as absolutely terrible either. You were always happy with the things you had, but the one thing that you always wanted was to find love. Little do you know love is just two steps away, and across the hall.

Square Filled: Neighbor AU @marvelfluffbingo

Warnings: super cute fluff, anxious Bucky, shy reader, slight smut, implied smut, slight angst 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 3573

A/N: This originally was going to be a platonic Sebastian Stan x reader fic, but I got inspired to do something else. I was somewhat inspired by a TikTok POV called Two Lost Souls by hlovesmarvelpov which is where I got the idea to write what life was like for Bucky in Romania. I want to give credit to @nix-akimbo whose art I used in the collage for this story. Pics are linked here, here, and here. Other images we're found off of Pinterest, but the collage is mine made on Canva. Everything in italics is 3rd person POV of Bucky’s thoughts. This is not beta read, so all mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

I never knew where life would lead me. I knew I wasn’t going to find something to do to make me rich. All I really wanted was to find a good job that paid me enough to get by. Living in Romania was an absolute dream. It was so beautiful, and it was always so interesting. Everyday felt like a new adventure. At the market you never knew who was gonna show up, or what was going to happen.

One day while at the market, just shopping for some fresh produce to restock my apartment with for the week, I saw an interesting looking man. I had never seen him before, and he definitely didn’t look like he was from around here. Something about him drew me in, but I was too shy to approach him to say hello.

I was definitely at that age where I was ready to look for mister right, and finally settle down. I seemed to have met every guy in this city, and none of them were to my liking. They all seemed very bold, manly, and had egos bigger than some of the buildings. That wasn’t really something I was looking for, and to be fair it was probably just part of their personalities, no judgement there.

There was something about this stranger though that was different. Yes, he was very handsome and buff, but he looked very shy and reserved. Not something I was used to, and that probably contributed to why I was so attracted.

He seemingly glanced my way, and I turned to look away. I knew I must have been staring and I felt awkward about that. So, I quickly finished up my shopping and ran home. I really hoped though that I didn’t make him think that I found him creepy. Damn my shyness, and anxiety.

It had been a few days since I saw the stranger at the market. I was walking down the street to my office when I happened to pass him by. He seemed to pause his gaze for a quick second before looking away. I walked past him at a decent pace, hoping he would make the first move to say hi, but alas, he did not.

The week went by, and it came time for me to head back to the market to restock my produce for the week. I ended my shopping spree and turned to head home when I ran right into someone's very muscular chest. I almost fell back when the person grabbed my arm, catching me.

“Are you okay, miss?” The person asked, speaking Romanian.

“I am fine thank you.” I looked at the person, and it was the stranger I saw last week.

“You’re welcome. Sorry I knocked you over.”

“Please, don’t apologize. I was the one who bumped into you.”

“At least allow me to help you carry your groceries home.”

I nodded and handed him a bag. He gestured for me to start walking, and I led him to my apartment complex. “My place is a bit messy, I wasn’t expecting anyone to come over to see it.” I said, going to unlock the door.

“Don’t apologize, I won’t go in if you feel uncomfortable.”

“I feel bad having you follow me all this way, and not even offer you a snack or something.”

“You’re too sweet. I’m okay, doll. I’ll stay out here. It also wasn’t too out of the way for me.”

“Are you sure?” I reached my hand out to take the bag he was holding.

“I’m sure,” he handed me the bag and turned to walk away, “and if you need me, I live just across the hall.” He walked over, unlocking his door, and opening it.

I almost fell back in shock. How did I not know this man lived across the hall from me? I surely would have seen him walking out. He turned and smiled at me before walking into his apartment. I tried not to look shocked, but all this time I had no idea he was living just 5 steps away. 

I close my door quickly and go to put my produce away. I tried to keep the stranger off my mind, but that seemed like an impossible task. Then, I thought of the perfect idea, I would invite him over for dinner. I wanted to get to know him, I needed to. Put all these wandering thoughts to rest.

I made us a lovely dinner of chicken and potatoes. I set everything up to look somewhat nice, and go to knock on his door. When I went to open my door to walk out, he was standing there ready to knock on my door.

He had a bouquet of different assorted flowers. I give him a small, shy smile as he hands them to me. I, of course, take them and find a vase to put them in. As I put them in the water, I look over at him, and he looks kind of sad.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you expecting someone? I didn’t mean to come off straight forward. I just-”

“I wasn’t technically. I was going to ask you if you wanted to join me for dinner?”

“Really?” He perked up, and I nodded my head, “I was going to ask you the same thing. A home cooked meal sounds better than one you can get at any restaurant.” He chuckled.

We sat down, and talked for hours. He avoided some of the questions I asked him, but I wasn’t going to push him for answers if he didn’t want to answer them yet. We laughed, joked, and just enjoyed each other’s company. 

“I realised that I never asked for your name, doll.” He spoke up.

“My name is Y/n. I never asked yours either.”

“I guess we both figured it would come up eventually. My real name is James, but you can call me Bucky.”

I smiled as I thought of what a lovely name that was. I didn’t ask why he preferred Bucky over James. Something in me wanted to make him love it, adore it. I wanted him to treasure his given name as I was right now.

The night came to an end much to our dismay. I didn’t want to say goodnight though. I wanted him to stay, which wasn’t like me at all. I usually said yes to one date, and that was that. I don’t know what was different about Bucky, but he brought out a new side of me. He intrigued me, and I had to know more about him.

“Until next time, doll. Promise you won’t bump into another guy before then?” He chuckled.

I giggle, “I promise. You’ll be the only guy I bump into now. At least that’s my hope.”

He kissed my cheek before walking to his door, and I could have sworn I was flying. If that was the way it felt when he kissed my cheek, what would it feel like if he kissed my lips.

~*~

Over the course of three months every Sunday Bucky and I had dinner together. We started with switching off, but slowly Bucky had been taking over our Sunday night dinners. Tonight when I went over I realised that I was slowly moving into his apartment. 

“You okay doll?” He asked, looking at my far off look.

“Yeah. I just realised it looks like I’m starting to take over your apartment.”

“That was one thing I was going to ask you about tonight.”

“I’m so sorry, I’ll pick up my stuff and take back to my place i didn’t-”

“Not that. I was going to ask if you wanted to move in together. It doesn’t have to be in my apartment, and I know we’ve only been together for a few months, but-”

“You want to move in together?”

Bucky just nods slowly, and I rush to hug him. I no longer had to wonder what it would feel like to be wrapped up in his arms. I no longer had to feel that lonely feeling I felt after our Sunday night dinners. I tried to keep my mind from racing with all the things I had wondered about. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Bucky chuckles, squeezing me back.

After dinner, we walked over to my apartment to get some extra blankets and pillows. I hoped I hadn’t rushed him into this by slowly looking like I was trying to move myself in on my own. I hadn’t even realised that our hangouts had left with me leaving my belongings all over the place.

“My place is your place now.” He spoke up, placing the blankets he was carrying on the bed.

“I didn’t rush you into this did I?”

“No. I know it seems quick, but I just get this feeling when I’m around that makes me not want to take things as slow as we probably should.”

“I was worried I was rushing you into things. I didn’t even realise that I was leaving things over at your house.”

“No. I have been planning on asking you for a few weeks now.”

I smile as we curl into bed together for the very first time. He was warm, and I felt safe laying in his arms. Laying there for the first time in a long time, I fell asleep almost immediately.

~*~

It has been 6 months since Bucky and I started seeing each other, and it has been the best 6 months of life. Even the last 3 months have been amazing. I have enjoyed every minute I have spent with Bucky. He is sweet and kind, and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. He had my heart in his hands, and I didn’t want it back.

The only thing that was strange is he didn’t talk about his life at all. He wanted to hear all about my life, but he wouldn’t speak about his life prior to coming to Romania. I knew he originally came from America because we both switched from speaking Romanian to English when we are alone.

“Is everything okay, doll?” Bucky asked, tearing me from my thoughts.

“I was just thinking.”

“About what? You know you can tell me anything right?”

“Tell you, yes. Ask, no.” I kind of snapped as I stood up to put my plate in the sink.

“Is everything okay?” I could hear the panic in his voice, and I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I knew I had to say something, or it would eat me alive.

“I just don’t get why you want to hear all about me, but avoid questions about your life. I get it if you don’t want to talk about it now. I just don’t like it when you dodge it altogether.”

“Okay I understand that, and I’m sorry.”

Bucky really was sorry. He didn’t want to scare her away with the horrors of his past. He wanted her to know more about him. He wanted her to know that he is way older than what she may think he is. That he fought side by side with Captain America during WWII. 

He couldn’t get the words out though. He would lie awake at night trying to figure out how to tell her. Even on the nights when he found it hard to sleep, and he couldn’t lay there anymore, he wanted to wake her and just spill all the stories. 

He found warmth and comfort in her, but he didn’t want to haunt her with his past. He couldn’t taint such an angel like her, no matter how bad he wanted her to know. To hear her voice break just a little as she expressed how she felt broke him.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I just want you to know that it hurts me a little whenever you don’t give an explanation.”

“I want to tell you all about my life, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m sorry.” His eyes went down, and my heart broke for him.

“James, look at me please?”

Bucky loved when she called him James. It was like she was trying to teach him to love his given name, and it was working. It rolled off her tongue so sweetly, and it came out so easily. He couldn’t help but obey when she asked him in that sweet tone of hers.

“The fact that you want to is enough for me right now. I’m not upset,” I smile sweetly at him, and walk over, placing my hand on his, “I don’t want to push. When you are ready, my love, I will be here waiting to listen contently.”

Bucky’s heart sighed in relief. He was worried that he had mucked everything up. He cared too much about her to let himself ruin things. If she wasn’t content with his response he would have told her everything. If it meant keeping her happy, he would give her the world. 

~*~

My conversation with Bucky seemed to have gone well. He slowly started to open up little by little. He was a bit vague, but at least he was trying. The first time he actually opened up a little was the first night I had noticed he was having a nightmare.

He was tossing and turning in his sleep, and I began to worry. I had heard never to wake someone up from a nightmare, so I sat there till he shot up. He was covered in sweat, and breathing heavily. He went to lay back down not realising I was already awake until I turned on the light. He looked over with sad, apologetic eyes. I just laid my hand on the small of his back letting him know everything was okay.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn't, I was already awake.”

I caressed his cheek, rubbing my thumb against his cheek. He slowly leaned in, and I followed until our lips came together. Sparks flew between us, and I felt butterflies. His lips were soft and gentle. The gentle kiss though soon turned into more. 

Bucky was gentle and slow. Making sure he wasn’t pushing my comfort level, and made sure he wasn’t hurting me. It felt amazing, and was the best night ever. I hoped that with Bucky and I becoming so intimate he would see that no matter what, I wasn’t going to go anywhere.

Bucky wasn’t sure how Y/n would feel if he initiated the kiss, but she put just as much passion into it as he did. He pushed into it more, and she returned it. Before he knew it he was on top of her naked body. He made sure he didn’t push her to do something she didn’t want to, but he could tell in her eyes she had been waiting a long time for this moment.

He made sure to be as gentle with her as he possibly could, but the urge to be inside her was too much for him to bear anymore. The room was filled with their moans as their bodies were connected so intimately.

Bucky felt that everything was going to be okay between them after that night. He held her as tight as possible after that, and was able to sleep through the rest of the night. Maybe he was worried about nothing. He felt like he could do anything now as long as he had her by her side.

~*~

“James, will you run out and get some fruit for me?” I hollered from the kitchen.

Bucky came into the room as he finished getting dressed, “anything specific you want?”

“No, just something I can turn into jam. The stand has been doing really well, and I’m running low on fruit.”

Bucky smiled as he walked over to me kissing my cheek, “anything for you, doll.”

Bucky left shortly after that, and I started to package the batch I had already made. Once I finished jarring what I had, I went to the walk-in pantry we had and started to shelve them. I thought I heard the door open so I called out to Bucky, but I got no answer.

“Everything alright out there my love?” I walked out of the pantry to be met by a man dressed in an all blue outfit. He was carrying a shield on his back that was red, white, and blue with a white star in the center.

He was looking through our kitchen, and I began to panic. I had no idea who this man was, or why he was in our apartment. I couldn’t find words to say when he noticed me.

“Where is Bucky?”

“Why do you want to know?” I asked, speaking in Romanian.

The man just turned around and looked at the top of the fridge. He pulled down a book, and that’s when I felt a hand on the small of my back. I jumped slightly at first then I realised it was Bucky behind me.

The stranger turned around, and saw Bucky. He started asking weird questions like if Bucky knew him, or why he pulled him from a river? All of it was so confusing and worrying to me. Before I knew it we were being attacked by the police. 

Bucky took off and I tried to follow him, but the stranger told me to stay put. Once the fight took the streets, I tried to follow on foot. By the time I got where I thought they would come out of, they were being surrounded. Bucky was being shoved to the ground and handcuffed. 

“James!” I yelled, rushing to him, and fighting the blockade of police.

They shoved me back, but I fought back harder. It was no use though as they loaded Bucky into a huge truck. I felt like my world had just come crashing down on me. Everything that happened this last year all came flooding back to me. I knew I had to get Bucky out of there. He was an innocent man, and I knew as long as we had each other, there would be nothing we couldn’t conquer.

~*~

Y/N tried to move on as best she could, but her heart felt empty. The day they took Bucky away in handcuffs was the day her heart left her. She closed her stand in the market, and went back to her dead end job. She moved out of their shared apartment because the thought, or even smell of him was too painful.

Y/n thought that the love of her life was gone forever. She even thought about moving away permanently, but loved the city too much to do that. The once bright and bubbly girl went back to her old reclusive self before she met him. No one had ever put the light back into her. Her smile was gone, and she hardly ever laughed anymore.

She was returning home from work one night, and decided to take the long way home. She wandered towards her old apartment complex as she often did. Ignoring the weird looks she got from the people she passed by, she kept her eyes to the ground. That was her mistake as she was lost in thought when she bumped into a muscular chest, almost falling to the ground. 

A firm gentle hand grabbed her arm kept her from falling, and she fought back tears as she remembered her very first full encounter with Bucky. “I’m sorry, I should have been paying attention.” Her voice broke as she fought back the pain, not wanting to look the stranger in the eyes.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I almost knocked you over.”

“Please don’t apologize. I was-”

“The one who bumped into me?” 

Y/n heard the man chuckle and almost felt like she could hear Bucky behind the chuckle. She gained enough courage to look up at the stranger who she bumped into, and the person she saw was not who she was expecting.

“You okay doll? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She didn’t even hesitate to jump into his arms. It was the reunion she waited almost two years for. He picked her up and held her tightly as if he let her go, she would disappear. Y/n nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck taking in his scent.

“I’m sorry I left you. I-”

“It’s not your fault James. You’re back, and that’s all that matters.”

Bucky pulled away slightly from the hug to look her in the eyes. He pulled her in for a soft, gentle kiss. For the first time since that terrible day, Y/n smiled into the kiss. Now that they were back in each other’s arms, she finally felt like her heart was put back together. 

She didn’t care what happened, she was just happy to have him back in her arms. She was happy he was safe and sound with her again. The light in her eyes had returned, and Bucky felt like he was falling in love with her all over again. The world could throw whatever it wanted at him now. He had his girl back, and he felt like he could overcome anything as long as he kept her by his side for the rest of his life.

[rosecoloredwriting]

Best Friend Tings~

A/N: This idea came to me and then boom! This might be a whole series of headcanons i got so many ideas bro!!!! 

Summary: Sometimes in life having a best friend is better than getting a s/o 

Pairings: Izuku Midorya x GN!Reader(Platonic), Katsuki Bakugou x GN!Reader(Platonic), Shoto Todoroki x GN!Reader(Platonic), Hitoshi Shinso x GN!Reader(Platonic)

Izuku Midoriya

We can see from the show he didn’t have any friends before u.a(katsuki doesn’t really count)

So boy must have been lonely before ua like todoroki

He nerded out by himself, no one else to talk to other than mama inko

So meeting you made his life better

he’s up to date on meme culture too

You slide in one vine reference during a convo ONCE when you met and he responds back subconsciously with his own

Instant connection

Like lightning strikes and you both just do the spiderman pointing at each other meme

Vine might be dead but that won’t stop you

Both of you start turning into beams of light

He gets sparkle eyes when you both don’t stop with the vine references

Numbers exchanged and you both find out to be major nerds for certain shows

Late nights are spent sending each other memes/videos and the next day you both are holding in fits of giggles

When the dorms are put in place pure chaos

Yall are inseparable 

There’s a lot of sneaking around because guess what you’re doing instead of sleeping 

watching✨✨TikToks✨✨

Or watching those Russian car crash videos

You go into a youtube deep dive at 3 am together

One brain cell is shared between you two ok

Deku squad are the vibes ok

Ilida can’t believe how 2 of some of the smartest people he knows can turn the exact opposite

“Ilida can you do us a favor? Would you be willing to run while holding us like balloons?”

“What are you talking about!?”

“Ilida me and (Y/N) thought of having Uraraka join us by making us float and have a rope tied around us with you running around!”

“As your class president I will not allow you to do such a thing-!” Cutting him off you turn to Izuku

“I told he wasn’t gonna say yes.” Sighing in disappoint.

“Should we try Kacchan?” 

“I’ll do the talking got it!” You leave behind a dumbfounded Ilida wondering why his friends can be so smart yet do such stupid actions.

Do not be fooled though

You call out izuku when necessary, you both may be chaotic with one another but like hell!!!! you’ll let him slip up because you’re besties and actually have brain cells(sometimes)

From the glare you’re sending him he feels like a disappointment because he caused his bestie trouble and worry

In conclusion: Yall are ride or die

Were talking the strength of the pillars of those temples in Greece

Katsuki Bakugo

It kinda just happened before the classes eyes

Like no one gets how bakugo manages not to blast your eardrums everyday

He just somehow sees you’re genuinely trying to be friends with him and get to know him

At first, he thought you were some extra following him like the rest of Baku squad at first and somehow saw that you don’t see him godly or anything you just really enjoyed being around him

Slowly you both understand one another

He’s kinda scared cause I don’t think bakugo has ever been like close close with someone before

So it’s slow like his friendship with Kiri

Speaking of Kiri cause this is a package deal if your friends with bakugo

You both will just watch him when someone pisses him off 

“Someone tried to test him right,” you said while passing Kirishima a water bottle. Coming back from the vending machine.

“Yeah he did” he replies deadpanning at Bakugou’s antics

You may be mostly a duo but its also a trio sometimes

So when he gets captured there’s a 50/50 chance that he will come to you

you managed to get knocked out during the attack so seeing one another safe really just lifts the blanket of fear off

So when the dorms come in he will barge into your room and start up your console and play

This distraction won’t last long cause at some point he just sits there stuck in his head

He holds back tears but you just help him through

Really just strengthens your bond

From then on he comes to you and he’s very vague on details but you just comfort him

somehow you both from this experience learn how to read what the other is feeling

If you have something going on the perceptive as ever bakugo will see and somehow do the thing that just gives you a boost, he’s not either an intimate or verbal guy

He’s trying his best alright

The same goes for you in bakugo accept your just a tad slower and use your words instead 

Best friend soulmate ✨✨tings✨✨

One of your past times is either playing fighting games or just relaxing in his room

Like you both will lay on the ground, speaker blasting, taking turns putting on songs

Feeling the vibrations 

Its how the aggressive boy cools down/relaxes

Being angry all the time is tiring

One time you were in a room with someone as they insulted bakugou

Right in your face not only did you defend your best friend but you also whooped some ass that day

Conclusion: the best friends that just get each other 

Shoto Todoroki

(If you’re an endeavor stan I don’t know what to tell you for this one)

Now hear me out on this

You find Endeavor hilarious

He is just the funniest person to you

Like just looking at him makes you cackle

So when todoroki fights midoriya and he used his fireside everyone was shocked because no one has seen him use it yet!!

But when you see endeavor on the other side of the stadium scream “SHOTOOOOO!” you burst out full-on laughing!!! WHEEZING IF YOU MAY!! Like do you not see his face

When he came back to the stands you just turned to him holding in a laugh

“Hey, Todoroki how are you so serious all the time with your dad looking like that all the time?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Don’t get me wrong he was pissed because like baby just had a mental breakdown but this type of comment is new to him

“Don’t you see how ridiculous he looks with those flames of him like damn. Of all the places! Why his fckin calves!!!!! Like what kind of egotistical man does that”

Todoroki hates his dad so you bashing him really opens up doors for you

Now to me, I think todoroki throws insults at everyone without even knowing himself

Like under his breath he will say a comment you will catch it and hold in a laugh

So you bashing his father made you an a+ in his book

And so the duo begins

Since todoroki does insult people without knowing you are there to be his audience

You will stifle and hold in giggles and laughs as you stand right next or behind him

Once he realized this he subtly increases the amount he says on the daily(These arent basic insults either but they aren’t harmful, plain fun ok)

One time your laughing got to the point Aizawa threatened to separate you two

But still, you helped cracked the boy’s frozen heart

Lots of hugs though cause the boy needs it

Once you’re close enough in the friendship you jump and hug the boy in surprise

Gets a little startled but loves the gesture cause guess what yall are besties

Opening his door, Todoroki meets the sight of you holding a pile of food. Ready for movie night. Quickly placing it down on the coffee table you jump and give him a hug. He stumbles a moment before he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Why are you hugging me? We saw each other all day.”

“Just thought you needed it.” Mumbling a thank you you go to the coffee table. The surface spilling with bags of snacks.

“I have my soba and more if you want any. I even got those candies you like.”

“Really! Thanks Sho-kun! I also got those chips you really enjoyed the last time. So you ready?” With a hum you both sit down opening the food you'll be eating for the rest of the night. Grabbing the remote Shoto hits play, the screen lights up to show the Disney logo.

Many movie marathons and binge-watching nights because you need to show him so much

When these hangouts happen you have hardcore munches together

You both will have a buffet of food because boy does he love his soba and you love to do to bring an entire pile and bag full of food

Just appreciates you and all you do for him

Will definitely sneak in really expensive gifts to you

Loves to watch Disney movies with you 

Conclusion: you are the best friend he needs, he wouldn’t have you any other way

Hitoshi Shinso 

Both of you met in gen studies class

At this point, everyone in the class knew one another names and stuff and when word got to you of his quirk oh boy

He was minding his business sitting in his desk

Slightly wishing he was dead or wanting to vibe at home

But here you come strutting on over and say hi to him

He was kinda nervous cause everyone knew his quirk and just got all those villain comments

You just talk and say how cool his quirk is and he’s like ‘aw shit here we go again’

Instead, you just ask why he isn’t in the hero course

Like his quirk amazing for that shit

He’s shocked alright

So you both just stick together

You are his wild friend taking him on adventures as he complains saying he would rather watch a movie or do something

Low key in on your plans 

He trusts you with his life so don’t take advantage of that

Teases you on a regular basis

Is the type of friend where if he makes fun of or teases you 

You’re his friend

at the sports festival, you treat him to lunch because he deserves it!!!!

He made it to the last round

And fought MIDORIYA!!!

“You don’t have to do this you know.” Dragging Hitoshi around the food stands he tries his best to stop you from doing this. Even if it’s your treat he rather pay himself.

“Hitoshi I swear if you don’t just pick what you want for lunch I’m fighting you.”

“I’m being serious you don’t have too. I didn’t even win against him.” You come to a halt both hands on his shoulders. Looking him in the eye you reassure him.

“You may not have won but you made it to the 3rd round. Do you know how amazing that is! A general studies student made it that far! You did that! You showed everyone we might as well be just as good as the hero course students! As your best friend to, I must treat you for this accomplishment.” This time he grabs your wrist. Pulling you around until he sees a food stand that peaks his interest. A soft smile on his face happy to call you his friend and to have someone care for him like you do.

He is the reason why you're an insomniac now

When you blame him for your sleeping schedule he just says in the deepest and seductive voice “it was part of the plan”

Makes you want to punch that handsome face of his(but you wouldn’t you love the boy too much)

Sometimes you guys sneak cats in like your dorms just somehow manage to have cats in them

The fur is everywhere but their you fur babies

You both spend your time playing board games and sometimes inviting the deku squad cause Hitoshi has a pretty chill relationship with Izuku(plus their too social for their own good)

So things become waaaaaaaay more lively

Both of your social batteries though are completely empty

There is late-night cuddling though as weird as it sounds

when you take turns slipping in one another’s dorm you both manage to hug like it’s super platonic and just find it comforting waking up to one another

the bond so strong that you protect one another even when you sleep

Conclusion: the besties that mess around one another but are like this🤞

[ukulelecal]

Happy Checks (Dad!Ashton)

In which Kennedy has a happy check with Ashton.

warnings: kenny being a sad bub 

A/N: is this me projecting what i wish i had as a kid? yeah :) anyway. i probably got this idea from tiktok i doubt i actually came up with it lmao. but hey i haven’t written (wrote?? idk) in a hot minute so go me :))))

word count: 1.9k

dad!sos universe

Something that was extremely important to you and Ashton when you had children was that they trusted you. You wanted to create an environment for them that was safe, healthy, and open. You wanted your kids to be able to be honest with you and not be afraid to share their feelings with you.

Once your little Kennedy came along and her second birthday passed, Ashton came up with an idea. He called it “happy checks.” Once or twice a week, you or him would take Kenny into your bedroom and sit on the bed. That was a safe space for her to tell you or talk about anything she wanted; you couldn’t get angry and Kenny wouldn’t get in trouble. You would ask how she was feeling and if there was anything she wanted to talk about. She didn’t really get it at first, but as time went on, she started to grasp the concept.

It was working well; she was getting very good with being able to talk about her feelings and work through them, whether they were good or bad feelings. She was a very emotional toddler, and happy checks were really good for her. Sometimes it would be small things, like a movie she watched made her feel sad or seeing Duke at Uncle Calum’s house made her happy. Sometimes she would ask questions or not say much at all. No matter what it was, she could talk about it, and you or Ashton would be there to listen.

Not long after Kennedy turned two, the twins, Finley and Alex, came along. She was ecstatic. The thought of being a big sister was very exciting to her, and when they were finally born, she loved to hold them and tell them stories she made up. She always shared her toys with them, even when they didn’t know what to do with them, and always wanted them to watch her favorite movies with her.

Now, Kennedy’s third birthday and the twins’ first weren’t too far off. Another baby had been on yours and Ashton’s minds, but you wanted to wait until the twins were a little older like you did with Kenny so they could understand better.

One afternoon had you on nap duty with the twins, which tended to take a while. Kenny was with Ashton in his music room, quietly playing with her stuffed animals while Ashton strummed his guitar softly. Kenny loved being in there with him. She wasn’t always allowed to, since Ashton actually had to get work done sometimes, but when she was, it was almost therapeutic for her. Sometimes they would each do their own thing quietly while he simply kept an eye on her, other times Ashton would show her his instruments or play for her.

Ashton noticed Kennedy wasn’t herself that day. She had a slight pout on her lips, and her movements with her toys weren’t as energetic as they normally were. He didn’t say anything at first, wondering if she would come to him, but soon enough the look of sadness on her face was too much for him to bear.

“Kenny, sweetheart?” He asked softly as he set his guitar on it’s stand.

She looked up from her stuffed animals and Ashton crouched in front of her on the floor. He was good at appearing non threatening and caring, and he could tell Kenny could see that in him.

“You want to have a happy check?” He asked, making sure to keep his voice even and soothing. She nodded and reached her little arms out to be picked up.

Ashton lifted the girl into his arms, a hand rubbing over her back as he carried her upstairs to the bedroom. You caught a glimpse of them walking by the twins’ room as you worked on getting them changed and heard the bedroom door shut; you knew it was time for a happy check.

Ashton propped himself up against the headboard of the bed and let Kenny settle in his lap before he spoke up.

“How are you feeling right now, Kenny?” He asked gently, his hand never ceasing to rub her back, comforting her. He waited patiently for her answer as she thought about her words.

“I feel sad,” she finally mumbled. She fiddled with the ruffles on her skirt to distract herself, and he took it as a sign that this was something more than a sad scene in a Disney movie that upset her.

“It’s okay to feel sad, sweetheart,” he affirmed. Validating her feelings was something you and Ashton always made sure to do during happy checks. You didn’t want her to feel embarrassed about what she was feeling, or feel like she couldn’t express it. “Do you want to tell me why you feel sad?”

She took a minute to think about her words again, still twisting her skirt in her hands and not looking up at Ashton.

“Finny and Alex.”

Ashton’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment at her response, but he quickly neutralized his expression. He couldn’t imagine what Finley and Alex, her baby twin siblings less than a year old, had done to upset her, but this was a safe space. She was allowed to talk about whatever she wanted, and everything she was feeling was valid.

“Finley and Alex are making you feel sad?” She nodded. “Why is that?”

“I…” she trailed off and buried her head into Ashton’s chest with a whimper. He wasn’t sure if that was frustration about being unsure of how to put her feelings into words or being embarrassed to say it at all. Ashton dipped his head down to press a comforting kiss to her curls.

“It’s alright, sweetheart, take your time. Remember, this is your safe space. You can tell me anything you want.”

She went quiet again, taking her time to feel through her emotions and think about them, and Ashton gave her the grace to do so.

“I miss being with you and Mommy,” she explained, voice strained. She glanced up at Ashton, and his heart broke at her glassy eyes.

“What do you mean, sweetheart?” He coaxed gently, trying to piece together what she was saying. He wiped away the single tear that slipped down her cheek and planted another kiss on her head.

“I like it when Finny and Alex are with us,” she began, interrupted by a sniffle. “But sometimes I want it to be just me, you and Mommy.”

Ashton finally understood. As much as she loved the twins, she wanted some alone time with her parents like before they were born, and that was completely understandable. Keeping track of three kids was hard enough, but two of them being babies was even more difficult. Sometimes Finley and Alex needed more of yours and Ashton’s attention, and Kenny was clearly feeling a bit left out.

“I understand, sweetheart. You miss spending time with just me and Mommy, yeah?” He confirmed, earning a small nod in response as she leaned her head against his chest again. “That’s perfectly okay, Kenny. I know it was a big change when Finley and Alex arrived, and you do such a good job being a big sister. Since they’re so little, they need some extra help with things that you don’t need as much help with, right? That’s why sometimes they need a little more of Mommy and I’s attention. Do you understand that, Kenny?”

She nodded again, still sniffling a bit. Before Ashton could continue, the bedroom door cracked open, and you peaked your head in. You finally got both the twins to sleep, and you needed to pass through the bedroom.

“Am I interrupting?” You whispered, knowing they were talking.

“Would you like Mommy to come sit with us?” Ashton offered, and you heard a soft “yeah” from Kenny. You gently shut the door behind you and made your way to join your husband and daughter on the bed. Kenny reached her arms out to you as you sat down, and you gently lifted her from Ashton’s lap into yours.

“We’re having a happy check,” Ashton explained, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and reaching the other across to hold Kenny’s little hand. “Do you want to tell Mommy what you told me, sweetheart?”

Kenny repeated what she told Ashton, you taking over rubbing her back to comfort her. You couldn’t help but feel bad; she had been lonely and you didn’t notice.

“Oh, baby, Daddy and I never meant to make you feel sad,” you began, stealing what Ashton was about to explain before you came in. “Daddy and I love you just as much as we love your brother and sister. It’s okay to miss being alone with us, even though I know you love your siblings.”

“Mhm,” Kenny hummed. She took in your words and was starting to understand, and most importantly, she wasn’t ashamed of her feelings. Even if she didn’t quite understand now, you hoped that when she got older she would realize how beneficial being able to share her feelings is, and always feel she could trust her parents to talk about them.

“This weekend, how about we take Finley and Alex to one of your uncles’ house and the three of us can spend some time together? How does that sound, sweetheart?” Ashton suggested, offering a solution to her sadness. Her face lit up at the suggestion, nodding her head quickly.

“We get fries?” She asked, and you and Ashton chuckled. She was obsessed with French fries, and there was a specific diner that had her favorite ones.

“We can get fries, baby. We can do anything you want.”

She giggled in satisfaction. Ashton rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand and sent her a loving smile.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?” He asked. She shook her head. “Alright. How are you feeling now?” At the end of every happy check, you always asked how she was feeling again so she could compare how she felt before and after.

“Happy,” she mumbled, curling further into your chest. “And sleepy.”

“I think it’s nap time for you, then, sweet girl,” you responded, starting to stand up from the bed. “Do you want to give Daddy a kiss before you go night night?”

Ashton lifted her into his arms and pressed multiple kisses to her cheeks. She laughed sleepily, giving a wet kiss to his cheek once he finished.

“I love you so much, sweetheart,” he mumbled. “Sweet dreams.”

“Love you, Daddy,” she yawned as Ashton passed her back to you.

You put her down for her nap before joining Ashton back in the bedroom. He had laid back down on the bed, clearly waiting for you.

“You think she’s okay?” You asked him as you rested your head on his chest. He nodded as he pulled you closer.

“I think so. These happy checks are really good for her, I think,” he mumbled. He glanced down at you with a tender smile. “You can come to me for happy checks too, you know.”

You chuckled and kissed the bottom of his jaw.

“I know. And you can have them with me, too.”

“I know.”

You fell into a comforting silence, both of you simply reflecting. You knew you were giving your children a happy household, and that was something you both took a lot of pride in.

[kay-diggle]

Log Off

Summary: You interrupt Jungkook while he's playing his video games.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader, Established Relationship

Genre & Rating: Smut, 18+

Warnings: Mention of COVID19, kinda strip tease (but not really), dom!jungkook, sub!reader, oral (f. recieving), overstimulation, vaginal intercourse, unprotected sex (pls stay safe guys), creampie

Length: 2.5k words

Notes: HELLOOOO!! OMG I feel like it's been forever since I've posted (sorry for going ghost). Anyways, this fic was inspired by a new challenge I saw on Tiktok where women drop their towels in front of their boyfriends while they're playing video games to see their reaction. It also mentions COVID19/ quarantine and I know a lot of people have a lot of anxieties surrounding our current situation, so maybe don't read if you think it'll trigger you. Also, Disclaimer: In no way is this fic meant to romanticize our current situation. Other than that, I'm not sure if I really like this, but I hope you all enjoy and are staying healthy! {Requests are closed at the moment.}

Kay-Diggle’s Masterlist 

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Annoyed wasn’t even the word to explain how you had been feeling for the past few days.

You had been excited once, when you first landed in Korea. Your boyfriend, Jungkook, flew you out from the states to visit him while he and the rest of BTS were preparing for their upcoming tour. You were happy to be getting a behind the scenes view of the process while spending time with the love of your life and his friends. That was, until the virus that was affecting the entire world was getting worse. When you initially flew out, it wasn’t that bad, but by the time your 3 week visit was up, there was no way anyone was letting you travel back home.

Though extending your stay was a bit stressful, you were thankful for the extra time you’d be getting with him. The first three weeks, Jungkook was so busy. He touched you, just not as much or as frequently as you had wanted to be touched. But now that your plans for returning home were up in the air and you were staying with Jungkook alone in his apartment, you were expecting to have a “living dildo.” Granted, probably not the best way to refer to your boyfriend, but the thought of him being available to fuck you at any time for however long you would be staying in Korea was very enticing. Now that his working slowed down because of the quarantine, you thought you’d be getting his undivided attention. However, you were wrong.

Whenever he wasn’t at a quick meeting or rehearsal at BigHit, he was in his living room playing video games, most of the time with Taehyung or Jin. You knew that he was just trying to release some of his frustration behind the tour being postponed, but you honestly wished that he’d take it out on your body instead of through his stupid games.

This thought helped you devise your grand master plan. You chose a day you knew that he wouldn’t have anything to do. When he woke up and followed his regular routine of showering, eating with you, and then leaving you to play some game, you knew it was time.

You hopped in the shower and really took your time today, making sure that your skin was as smooth as a baby’s bottom and your private areas were as hairless as could be. When you felt like you looked perfect, you wrapped your towel around your body and made your way towards the living room.

“Jungkookieeeee,” you dragged it out in a high pitched whine.

“What baby? He said, not even acknowledging your presence.

“ I need you.”

Genuinely concerned, Jungkook turned his head to finally look at you and muted his mic. . “What’s the matter, my love.”

“I’m just feeling a bit… lonely in the room all by myself. How about you log off your game and come join me baby,” you tilted your head and gave him your best pouty face with a small lip bite.

He knew what you wanted, and you had predicted his resistance before he brushed you off with a quick “Not right now y/n” and turned his mic back on to continue his game.

You sighed dramatically before taking the towel wrapped around your body and throwing it towards him, landing in his lap and revealing your naked body. He looked back at you with wide eyes while you only smirked at him.

“Fine. Have it your way,” you replied sassily and walked back towards his bedroom making sure to add a little extra sway to your hips as you did so.

You couldn’t help the smile that was taking over your face. You knew he wouldn’t be able to resist you after your little towel show, and your prediction was confirmed when you heard him wrapping up the game with his friends, adding a rushed explanation, something along the lines of “I have to go kill this girl, sorry.”

And boy oh boy were you willing to die if it was at the hands of Jungkook.

You draped yourself across the bed and looked at your nails as if you were bored and Jungkook walked in just a few seconds later.

“Oh… look who came,” you teased.

Jungkook chuckled lowly, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. “You think that was cute, don’t you?”

“Adorable,” you responded.

Jungkook just smirked at you before abruptly taking both of your ankles in his hands and dragging your body towards the edge of the bed. He leaned over your figure, caressing your thighs that wrapped around his waist.

“Hmmm… just what am I gonna do with you baby?” he asked, lips brushing against your own.

“Anything you want,” you replied looking straight in his eyes. You were ready to submit yourself to him, to do whatever he commanded you to do.

Jungkook smiled against your lips at this. He loved when you were so subby for him, willing to let him absolutely destroy you but he wasn’t feeling like going all that hard on you today.

“Well if it were any other day, I’d honestly go back on the game and make you ride me while I was playing, and wouldn’t let you make any noises or stop until you came at least three times while restraining your hands,” he whispered.

“Oh….” the idea did excite you, but you were already picturing how much you’d struggle. “So then what are you going to do to me today?”

“Apologize,” he let out a puff of air. “For neglecting you these past few weeks,” he pecked your lips.

His lips kept going with their slight kisses down your neck, your breasts, your stomach, down your thighs and back up to your wet center.

“For not fucking you every chance I’ve had,” he continued, now on his knees with his face deep in your heat.

You felt his cool breath against you first, driving you crazy before he even touched you. But when his tongue swiped against your folds, you couldn’t help but let out the moan you had been fighting.

“This pussy is so sweet, all mine…” he looked up in your eyes before wrapping his lips around your pulsing bud and sucking hard.

You felt your soul leave your body when you leaned on your elbows to look at him and saw that he was already staring at you. Throwing your head back and letting out a loud moan, your hand quickly found its way into his brown locks, tugging lightly, just how you knew he liked. He groaned and started sucking even more harshly. You were having too much fun pushing his head further into you, and he wanted to make sure you still knew who was in charge here.

“Play with your tits for me baby,” he commanded.

When your hands reached your breasts, you groped them, squeezing and caressing them as you liked. Your fingers found your hard nipples and began pulling on them lightly and pinching, adding to the immense amount of pleasure you felt.

Meanwhile, Jungkook was still working on you. With his mouth never leaving your clit, he collected the juices that were spilling out of you on two fingers, and slid them inside of you unexpectedly, making your arch your back off the bed and let out your loudest moan yet. Curving his fingers and thrusting slowly, they were massaging your walls while his tongue was massaging the spot where you needed him most. The light tremor in your legs served as an indication that you’d be coming soon, and although Jungkook would love to have your juices spill out all over his tongue, he’d rather it happen on his rock hard cock.

He pulled away from you very abruptly, and the frustration overtook you when your near orgasm faded away. Seeing the scowl on your face when he stood up, he couldn’t help but let out a light laugh that you did not appreciate.

“I’m glad you find my pain amusing.”

“Stop being so dramatic babe. Now, do you wanna get fucked or not?”

You rolled your eyes before scooting to the top of the bed. You watched him drop his shorts with his boxers and take off his shirt. You were practically drooling at the sight of his naked body and honestly, who could blame you?

“You know, I actually changed my mind. You’re gonna ride me.”

“Hmmpff” you let out a little whine as he walked over to the bed and sat up against the headboard.

“Are you really whining right now?” he asked, voice dripping with dominance.

Taking that as your warning, you got onto your knees and went to straddle his hips when he directed you to turn around. You figured not being able to see him was your punishment until you settled on his lap and one of his large hands immediately grabbed both of your wrists, restricting you, indicating that he didn’t want you to be able to touch him either. You quietly let out a little huff of breath in annoyance before you felt his dick rubbing against your wet folds and poking at your entrance.

“I was trying to be nice y/n, but your little attitude is something else baby,” he pushed you down onto his hard length very slowly, using his free hand to grab your hip and make sure you felt everything. “My dick is a gift y/n. You’re lucky you’re getting it, and you’ll take it however I choose to give it to you. Understand?”

You nodded your head in response which obviously didn’t sit right with Jungkook, as he roughly thrust up into you, getting you to push out a quiet “yes.” You couldn’t really get any other words out, as your head was preoccupied with the thoughts of how well Jungkook filled you up.

“Good girl. Now, since you interrupted me, I feel it’s only fair that you fuck yourself on my dick, sweetheart. Make yourself cum since you wanted this so bad.”

Now, this wasn’t what you had in mind when you called him a “living dildo,” but nevertheless, you began moving on his dick. It was definitely a challenge without your hands, but it didn’t stop you from bouncing on his cock. Your pace was fast, probably a lot faster than what Jungkook was expecting, but you were desperate to get back the orgasm that he took away from you earlier.

Jungkook didn’t know what to do with his one free hand. One second it was on your hip, helping to guide you up and down his shaft and the next it would be smacking your bare ass or reaching around to pinch your nipples. All of the sensations you were feeling along with the sound of the low groans he was letting out directly into your ear, your moans were coming out nonstop. Everything felt so good and you were so close, but you were also tired and felt like your legs would give out any second.

“Kookie,” you used his nickname to call out to him, hoping it would sweeten him up just a bit. “Please…. nnghh so good- fuck! My legs baby, I can’t.”

You guessed he was back in his nice mood because he let go of your hand. You felt liberated and leaned over to hold onto his thick things while you felt both of his hands grasp your hips. Your ass smacked against his pelvis as you rode him harder, him pulling you down while you simultaneously pushed yourself. Angling his hips slightly different, the tip of his dick pushed right into your g-spot and you cried out.

“YES FUCK!”

“Mmhhmm.. You like that sweetheart?” he said, making sure to repeatedly hit the same spot.

“Yes baby, oh my- ughhh I’m gonna fucking cum.”

“Yea? You’re gonna be a good girl and cum all over me right? Wet up my fucking cock hmm, soak my sheets?”

“Yesssss,” you dragged it out.

You really couldn’t keep quiet at this point, mouth hanging open as your moans flooded out. You were so close to cumming again and you knew it was over when his hand reached around the front of your body and his fingers found your clit.

“GOD YES!” you smacked your hand against his thigh as you felt your high take over. You blacked out for a moment, seeing stars. Jungkook hissed from the sting of your hand slapping his leg but continued to drag out your orgasm by using your hips to slowly rock you down onto him when you fell over.

“You’re fucking perfect y/n,” Jungkook moaned out. One of his favorite sights was you falling apart all over him.

“Ugh, Jungkook, please cum in me. Pleaseee,” you reminded him of his own pleasure.

Pushing you over, Jungkook got onto his knees and grabbed your hips again, raising them to match up with his pelvis. You made sure to arch your back when he started thrusting into you again, hard and fast, solely focused on his own pleasure. The overstimulation was getting to you a little bit, but you wanted Jungkook to come so badly, and the way his cock was twitching within your walls, you knew it would happen soon.

“Fucking shit y/n,” Jungkook groaned. You had become incredibly tight after your orgasm and were purposely clenching against him as well. It was almost too hard to move inside of you, but the tightness only added to his pleasure.

“Fill me with your cum Kookie …please… I need it,” you panted out in between his pistoning into you.

“Yesss… I’m gonna fucking fill this tight little cunt up.”

“Please,” you whimpered out.

Jungkook felt a tingly sensation in his stomach and his balls started tightening. All it took was for one final clench of your walls against his cock, and then he froze, shooting his load into you while you continued to rock your hips back against him.

“Fuccccckkkkkkkk,” he sang out, grabbing your hips to hold you in place when the feeling became too intense for him to handle.

When he let go of your hips and pulled out of you, he watched as you flopped down onto the bed and his cum spilled out of you. Flipping you over onto your back, he pulled you into a loving embrace and topped it off with a sweet kiss before going into the bathroom to get a rag and coming back to wipe the both of you off. As you were getting up, you saw him putting his shorts back on and automatically felt a pang of sadness hit you.

“Are you going back to finish your game?” you asked with a defeated sigh.

He looked at you and gave you his signature ‘bunny smile’ before shaking his head and walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“No,” he kissed your nose. “I am yours for the rest of the day, I promise.”

You smiled so big your cheeks hurt. “Thank you Jungkook.”

“Of course sweetheart. But the next time you throw your towel at me and walk away naked-”

“You won’t be as nice. Yes, I know,” you playfully rolled your eyes and pulled him down for a kiss,

“Good. Now, let’s enjoy the rest of this quarantine together, and I’ll log off of the game until it’s over.”

And that declaration sounded like music to your ears. Yay for a living dildo!!!

[watchmegetobsessed]

🔥 = smut   🌈 = readers’ favorite   🌷 = author’s favorite

Find my other masterlists HERE !

No gifts — First Christmas living together you and Shawn agree on not gifting each other, but he has a huge surprise for you.

Lonely Christmas — It’s your first Christmas dating Shawn, but he couldn’t make it for the first day. To cheer you up he calls you in the evening.

Late — Shawn couldn’t make it in time for New Year’s Eve, but you are surprised to see him pull up on your driveway just seconds after midnight.

Wearing nothing 🌈 — You feel like nothing looks good on you after you’ve put on some weight, but Shawn assures you that he is crazy for your curves.

I only need you 🔥🌈 — A heated smut that starts off with an angst filled fight.

Best friends — You’ve been best friends for ages and you realize you feel something more. You cook together like in the old days and some confessions are made at the end of the evening.

Clubbing — You feel uncomfortable in the club with your friends. When a drunk asshole makes a move on you Shawn comes to your rescue.

I miss you — Video chatting with Shawn while he is away, just being cuties online.

Morning — Waking up next to Shawn, getting a little too touchy which makes it harder to leave the bed and start the day.

Dimples — You’re insecure about your dimples so you make up your mind not to smile that much, but Shawn tries hard to see you smile again.

Aging 🌷 — It’s your birthday and it’s making you feel anxious that you are one more year older. In addition, you are older than Shawn and it also bothers you, but he is quick to make you feel better.

Just you — You visit him on tour, but you get jealous of all the time he spends with Alessia. You start fighting about it, but after you go through a not too serious car accident it makes you realize how imprtant you are to each other.

Home 🌷🌈 — During a chill day off at his parent’s place Shawn realizes that home is not a place for him anymore, you are his home. Proposal involved.

Family — You’ve kept it from Shawn that you can’t have kids. Talking about having a family you break down and confess to him thinking he will leave you. His reaction is not what you expected.

Dance moves — After a long day Shawn gets home just to see you busting your best dance moves around the kitchen, putting up your best performance and he can’t help but admire you.

MET 🌈 — Your debut as a couple happens to be at the MET Gala and it’s stressing you out, but Shawn knows just what to say to make you feel better.

I promise — Shawn’s lifestyle is taking a toll on your relationship. After a fight he shows up at your place because it bothered him how your conversation ended on the phone.

Prom 🔥 — Shawn surprises you at prom after making you think he can’t make it. You are so happy to be together again that you can’t hold yourselves back and end up having a quickie in the bathroom.

Tired — Shawn has had a lot on his plate lately so you go to check in on him. You take a shower together and you experience the intimacy of washing each other’s hair.

Chemistry — You do a shoot for CK together, but you get nervous right before it’s time to shine. As always, Shawn knows just exactly how to make you feel better and comfortable.

Fantasy 🔥 — You’ve been fantasizing about giving a blow job to Shawn and your fantasy finally becomes reality, blowing not just his mind.

I got you — You’ve been keeping it a secret that you’re pregnant, worried what Shawn might say, but a sudden incident forces you to confess.

Leaving — You don’t want him to leave again. Emotional conversation in the middle of the night.

Slipped 🌈 — Shawn accidentally reveals at a Q&A that he has a girlfriend.

Happy father’s day 🌷 — A creative way to tell Shawn that you are expecting your first child.

Summer fling — You feel like you’ve been just a summer fling for Shawn, but soon he confesses that it’s much more than that.

Icebath 🌈 — Shawn has been terrified to take an icebath but his body needs it so he agrees to do it but only if you do it with him.

Don’t say my name 🔥 — You absolutely hate the t-shirt he is wearing tonight, so he finds a way to make you like it.

Love Of My Life (part 1) (part 2) 🌷 — Touring with a baby in the first part, touring with a toddler in the second part. Pure fluff with Dad!Shawn.

Better — A blurb where Shawn is the cutest boyfriend ever, holding his girlfriend tight after she had a bad day.

Everything about you 🌷🌈 — You’re Shawn’s personal assistant, have been having feelings for him, but a misunderstood situation pushes you and him farther away from each other until you confront him.

Red thong 🔥 🌈 — Shawn, standing tall, and very much naked, looking down at you, practically fucking you with his eyes, your lacy thong hanging from his mouth that he just pulled off of you with his teeth.

Lesson learned — It’s Shawn’s 21st birthday but not he is the drunkest one. Aaliyah’s first time drinking has him worried, but he finds entertainment in her teasing in the morning.

Sober — bartender!Shawn oneshot where you meet a cute guy during a night out, but he turns out to be the new guy working at your fav bar.

Teeth 🔥🌈— A juicy sugardaddy!ceo!shawn au insipired by Teeth by 5SOS

Unfortunate mistake — You and Shawn used to be an item. Meeting at the VMAs turns out to be more eventful than you imagined when you accidentally kiss him. Or was it meant to happen?

First times 🔥— Shawn and you have shared some firsts, but drifted apart during the years. It’s only until he shows up one thanksgiving and the two of you finally talk everything out.

One more — You and Shawn have twins, Charlotte and Miles and it’s the first day of school for them. It makes both of you emotional seeing them grow up so fast.

Lurking — Shawn lurks on your ex’s Insta and definitely doesn’t like what he sees there.

October 🌈 — Personal assistant themed fic inspired by October by Alessia Cara

Cinnamon — A peaceful day in the park with Shawn.

Careful what you wish for — You and Shawn are married, but it’s getting harder with each day. After a bad fight you make a wish upon a shooting star that turns your whole world upside down.

Opia --- Being Shawn’s friend has become emotionally tiring for you, especially since he is more than just a friend to you, so you ask for a break, but things don’t turn out as you expect them to.

Hands 🔥 --- The choker you want to wear: Shawn’s hands.

Sock 🌈 --- college!shawn au - Shawn and you live in the same dorm and one evening you both get locked out by your roommates who are having guests over.

After party --- Shawn chooses to spend the night with his very pregnant fiancé over going to an after party.

Yoga --- Shawn is being extra clingy while you’re just trying to do yoga.

Valentine’s Day --- The day that brings a change into your relationship with Shawn.

Sibling --- Your family of three is expanding and it’s time to reveal to your son that he is about to become a big brother. Shawn handles his awkward questions pretty fine.

Sister --- Part 2 to Sibling. The arrival of baby number 2 is a little messy, but eventually everything is going to be fine.

Choices --- CEO!Shawn AU. Working to The Shawn Mendes doesn’t turn out like you imagined it.

Crazy about you --- Sequel to Everything about you. Coordinating a new, secret relationship when you feel like the universe is playing against you.

Goodbye --- You have one rule. You never say goodbye. So what happens when in the heat of an arguement Shawn says the forbidden word and then things take a turn for the worse?

Hardest To Love --- Fic based on the song Hardest To Love by The Weeknd

Tease 🔥 --- Teasing has consequences. Dom!Shawn fic.

Number 20 🌷 --- AU based on the movie ‘What’s Your Number?’

Curls and boobs --- Cuddling in a blanket fort.

Privacy --- Shawn is doubting himself because of a stupid dream, and your privacy gets invaded that just worsens the situation.

Sleepless --- Pregnancy brings a lot of struggles to you, like not being able to sleep comfortably.

Two weeks --- PA themed fic! Quarantined with your boss who youa re in love with? That’s quite the situation!

Who you are --- soon-to-be-mob-boss!Shawn au, that’s it, that’s the fic

Hints --- Non-famous AU where Shawn is your brother’s best friend and you have the fattest crush on him.

Love hating you --- College!hockeyplayer!Shawn au where you start as enemies.

Better --- Morning with Shawn, a fluffy blurb.

I need you 🔥 --- Shawn needs you in the most intimate way.

Birthday tradition --- You and Shawn have had a birthday tradition for years, but this year you feel like things might change.

What you are to me --- (PA themed) Shawn celebrates is birthday with an epic vacation. Your feelings for him and your own demons are making it a mess and things take a surprising turn.

Empty promise 🔥 ---  You try that TikTok trend out on Shawn where you send him a dirty text out in the public.

It’s alright --- Shawn helps you through one of your darker days.

Scoring You 🌷 --- college!soccerplayer!Shawn AU

I never stopped loving you --- Sequel to Hardest To Love

Room service --- CEO!Shawn AU, where you’re a maid at a hotel who gets fired and ends up in Shawn’s room.

Wonder --- Shawn wrote a song about you back when you first met, now it’s time to show it to you.

Hot Chocolate --- Some teasing on a cozy fall evening.

My wonder --- A short story built around the songs Dream, Song for no one and Teach me how to love from Wonder the album.

Day one — A late night talk with Grayson that ends with a kiss and confessions.

Hot 🌈 — After someone tries to break into your home Grayson comes to your rescue and you spend the night at his place, the two of you share his bed for the night.

Angel — You’re a nurse assisting to the twins’ nose surgery and Grayson is flirting hard with you while the goofy juice has him muddle-headed. When they come back for a check up he builds up the courage to ask you out.

Memories 🌷 --- You are childhood friends with the Dolan siblings and you recreate childhood photos, but one recreation results in surprising consequences.

Even — You thought it’s going to be easier to deal with the fact that Tom and Zendaya has to kiss in the new movie. But it turns out different and Tom has an unusual idea to solve this problem. To make it even, you also have to kiss Z.

My girls — While Tom is away you shower him with content about you and Tessa, being the best buddies, waiting for him to finally come home.

Helping hand 🔥 🌈 — Tom is having a hard day on set and needs something to get the steam off. You are more than happy to help him out.

The kiss — Tom makes your dream come true by kissing you in that famous, upside-down way like in the original movies.

Truth or Dare — The story of two kisses that are exactly one decade apart.

Okay --- Just some cute fluff with boyfriend Tom.

Buzz cut --- In the middle of your social distancing you decide to shave your head.Tom is a partner in the process.

Sleepy babies 🌈 --- Waking in the middle of the night you find your husband sleeping with your daughter in his arms.

Dust --- You have a nightmare after seeing Tom die in Infinity War, but Tom is there to console you.

Sunset --- Tom reminds you why you are so in love with me.

Sing to me --- Watching the sunset with Tom as he sings to you.

Celebrity crush --- In a round of Who’d you rather with Ellen, your crush on Tom gets revealed to the world.

Forgiving 🔥 (kinda) ---  You and Tom like to experiment sexually. After having your first ever threesome with him and an unknown guy you realize it was not what you wanted but you’re afraid to come clear to Tom.

Homecoming — Homecoming is near and you wish Peter would ask you out. You’ve been crushing on him since you met him, but does he feel the same way?

Lazy Morning --- The title says it all basically.

Update 🌈 --- Harry falls for a mysterious girl from YouTube.

The best present --- Sequel to Update.

Flatmates 🔥 --- You move in with Harry and after a failed Tinder date, Harry proposes an offer you can’t turn down.

Two hearts in one home --- Just a short, domestic blurb!

Lending a pair of hands --- An appreciation fic for saggy boobs!

Never have I ever 🌈 --- Actress!reader playing the game on The Ellen Show with Harry, her celeb crush. Questions get a little nasty.

The art and the artist --- Harry, that amazing hat from the Golden mv and a nice Italian day by the pool.

Our song --- Harry helps vocalist!reader to come over her stage fright and the process brings them closer than ever.

Running — Nick is done hiding his feelings for you. After his marriage failed he is ready to be with the girl he has always been in love with.

In His Arms — The ending we all deserved in TROS.

Safe --- Kylo wants to know that you are safe even when he is not around, so he decides to teach you how to fight.

Everything --- Sequel to Safe. You gave up on a lot of things to be with Kylo. You crave small, normal things like dancing sometimes and one day you take your chance before training and ask him to dance with you.

Benefits --- You and Adam meet at an AA meeting and soon enough, a weird, but benefitial relationship forms between the two of you.

Train ride talks --- The aftermath of a fight with a cute ending.

❄️ FANFICmas 2019 ❄️

A set of holiday themed fics!

Mistletoe - Promise - Make It To Christmas - Cookies - Under The Mistletoe - A couple of reindeers - Santa Tell Me (Part 1)(Part 2)

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

My business - With you - And I always will - First Christmas (VALERIE blurb) - Locked up Christmas - Waiting for you - Keys of truth

[ofmermaidstories]

Spoilers for the latest chapter of Something!

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize now because this is long; please feel free to ignore my wordy ass, I just have a lot of feelings about a certain someone that showed up in the new chapter lol.

I am still trying to get my shit together enough to write a proper review, but I did want to come yell at you for making the grape boy somewhat likeable, like...

Firstly, how??? Secondly, why?????!?!

Lmao, in all seriousness tho, it's nice to see him have a personality that isn't just "Mmmm, tits" *drools* I like to think that everyone in the series grows up and (mostly) out of the worst of their habits, and while Mineta is still a bit of a lecher here he isn't nearly as offensive/creepy as he comes off in show. In fact he's actually sympathetic in a lot way. The bit about seeing his first dead body before "getting laid" hit different like... He tries to play it off like a joke, but dude has to have just as much PTSD as the rest of them, maybe even more given that he wasn't able to fight back in the same way as someone like Bkg or Deku would be able to with their super powerful offensive quirks. They were all just kids, but they had to face hell full on from jump, and let me stop before I get too in my feelings lol.

In a lot of ways, he reminds of you the boys from school — crude. Taking for granted the safety from being in a pack, unchallenged. Leering at posters, saying off-colour things because no one corrects them.

That's exactly the way I view him, just a crude little thing that refuses to be put in his place for long lol. Still, with his being a hero I would hope that he keeps a cap on it while he's on the job--in fact I'm sure he does; if he didn't I'm sure that Aizawa would've yanked his licence by now, the likes of Deku and Kiri wouldn't continue to associate with him, and that's saying nothing of the shit that would get posted to social mead and such. I feel like the only reason he says what he says to the Reader is b/c she's a little gremlin herself and he knows he's got a bit more leeway, yanno?

The little hangout session that they had at the end of the chapter was weirdly heartwarming?? I want a friend(???) that I can be a surly little shit with and draw on and that will call my bf that's not really my bf but should be my bf because he's (that is Mineta) got more emotional intelligence than me lmao. Never thought I'd see the day when the grape would make for such an excellent wingman--tho I gotta wonder what that text he sent to Deku said. Probably something along the lines of "come get yo girl, she must be bored/lonely af because she asked to hang out with me" followed by "are you ever gonna close the deal or not? or have you already hit it??? >:)" just to give the guy an extra push (or maybe he's got a better sense of self-preservation than what I give him credit for, idk lmfaooo...)

Okay, this is WAY too long, I just had to get it out of my system lol. I loved the new chapter lots and I cannot wait to see how things play out in the next one!!

LOL, oh Puck, i adore you sdlkfjsdlkfjsdlkfj

me being a shit-stirrer/asking myself questions i don’t have answers for under the cut

Cat asked me this question earlier today, actually — why Mineta. And honestly? Part of it is the challenge he represents — like, how do you write him into a fic and mature him up so that he’s at the very least, tolerable, but also keep the backbone of his character (which is being a little degenerate). Like, is it possible? One of the most popular tags on ao3 for mineta minoru is something along the lines of “mineta minoru is replaced with shinsou hitoshi” LOL so…….. why didn’t I just use Shinsou? Or Aoyama or Iida, as Cat suggested? And beyond the part of me that delights in giving myself perceived challenges, there were two stark reasons that stuck out to me, when i was first mulling over his inclusion.

1) the fact that he can draw. it’s literally as simple as that. ever since the BNHA exhibition opened up in Japan and it was revealed that there was a scene in there with a class blackboard and the kids having their little drawing competition — and that Mineta was objectively the most skilled — i was like, “i have to include that”. LOL. it’s like you say, Puck, our Reader is a little gremlin herself — i thought if I was going to write a Reader that could handle interacting with him (ie, be in a position to pay him out) it was going to be this one. I think being in the manga industry and starting out on this journey of creating and drawing a Shonen manga sort of put Reader in this unique position of… being in what seems like a boys’ club? So she’d be used to the male gaze within her field. I follow Horikoshi’s assistant (former assistant?) on twitter and let me tell you, that man is not shy about the things that he likes to draw LOL.

the 2) thing was the philosophy i’ve sort of accidentally given myself LOL and that’s the fact that — as a Bakugou stan, if i’m giving grace to a character who was a literal violent bully then………. i can use my magic powers and hand it around to the other characters, too, LOL. and like, i would argue that with Bakugou it’s different, like we’re currently seeing in the manga how he has grown and learnt and is actively changing, which is the key to any kind of redemption. do i think Mineta will ever undergo that in cannon? absolutely not lmao, i see him as being being Hori’s idea of comedic relief, he’s always going to be a horrible little degen. but i want it for him…… if only to justify why the boys of Class-A collectively ignore his bullshit, for the most part? Like, none of them actively call him out on it?? i think of the time he tried to climb the wall to spy on the girls in the onsen — and how it was literally only Iida scolding him and how it took a child to stop him. Or the one when he found the stupid hole into the girl’s changing room and while the boys all looked grossed out….. Jirou’s the one that point an end to that?????? I saw a TikTok (derogatory) suggesting how like, none of the girls of Class-A would trust Aizawa, as adults, because he didn’t do anything to put an end to Mineta’s bullshit, and it was a devastating suggesting. None of us want to believe that our favourites would be passively okay with this kind of behaviour, right?? Which means……. Mineta’s gotta change LMAO. And if Hori isn’t going to do it then imma borrow him and do it myself. Does it work? I have no idea LMAO i can’t judge anymore, my meter is broken. but i’m gonna work with what i’ve given myself and it either will, or it won’t LMAOOOO kldsfjlksdjflkdj fic is about having fun at the end of the day. :’)

But it’s like you point out, Puck — Mineta is also a child, when these kids get trotted out to their first War. And he’s also not as offensively built as the hard-hitters like Deku and Bakugou and Shouto are. Even if it’s not explored in the manga, that War is going to change them all somehow.

So, my gameplan for Mineta was to grab ahold of the tiny things about him — the talent for drawing, the like one [1] observation he has about the wreckage of the war/pro heroes during the war arc, his tears for Bakugou when B wakes up afterwards and how he tells Deku how cool he was and how much he admires him, in the current Bring Deku Home chapters — and try to envision a sleaze bag who learns that the bullshit he pulls won’t be tolerated, even if he’s still ultimately a skeeze LOL. i mean, he’s never going to drop that er…. appreciation for the female form. and i mean, hey, live your best life King, i’ve distinctly noticed a hand-fetish floating around on this site lately so i’m not gonna be like “NO men can’t like ANYTHING”. But the thing with him being a sleaze and open with his leering is like, he’s actively made the girls of his class uncomfortable with that in the past — how do you write it so that he’s not doing that in a position of power with the women he works with (and saves!), as an adult?? Maturity only goes so far. How much can I bank on the war and the subsequent bullshit they’re gonna face from it on…. transforming him??? It shouldn’t be up to the girls he’s learning with to police him, they’re just children. I have a vague gameplan for it — whether or not it works will be one thing; whether i can naturally shove it into the fic is another, LOL. Guess we’ll see. 🧐

SAYING ALL THAT,,,,, i’m actually really glad you liked (???) the ending scene with him because it’s my favourite LMAO lkdjflkdsjflkdjfkldsjf. 😭😭 Reader is by no means perfect, and she and Mineta both need to start treating each other with more respect, but her bullying of him was fun to write and I like imagining a Mineta who considers himself to be close with Deku (whether or not Deku thinks the same is up for debate) going along with it. i could see this version of Mineta being enough of a shit-stirrer to say something like, “gotta lock that shit down” to Deku LMAO kdfjlkdsjflkdsfjdklsfj and then getting left on a skyscraper somewhere…. RIP short King.

[gremlin-writes-angst]

Possessively in Love

Chapter 1 Here!

Chapter 2

1.9k words

Trigger warning: Cursing

Let me know if I missed a trigger or if you spot any spelling mistakes.

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The Bakusquad has recently had lots of free time so they’ve gotten to hang out together, and as Bakugou assumed, Shinsou was now a part of their group. Because of that Bakugou has become a lot more touchy-feely with Denki, which isn't a problem for him. Denkis top love language is physical touch, but he also feels annoying when he’s the only one initiating it with his friends, so it's nice to have someone else be the needy one. Currently, they were doing random slide shows, a trend they saw on TikTok. Jirou went first, she rated everyone's music taste. She said it was unfair to grade herself so the winner was Sero, she said it was the most consistent and matched Seros vibe, Shinsou placed second, Jirou likes his taste but the number of angsty songs concerned her. Mina placed third, her music taste wasn't something for Jirou but she could admit it was still valid. Bakugou was placed in fourth because his music was inconsistent his playlist was a combo of screamo and classical music and jumping between them hurt Jirou’s brain when listening to the back and forth. Not a shocker but Denki placed in dead last, Jirou just couldn't listen to the gummy bear song, or barbie girl or the coconut song, or heeeeeyyyyy man song, which were all songs on his playlist. Mina’s presentation was about how everyone should try out dancing, the thing was that she was blackmailing them, each slide was one of her friends and she would look at them and talk in hints that she would expose a secret she had of theirs. Denkis was titled “ why I should be allowed alone in the kitchen” and it did the opposite of what Denki wanted it to do, every slide was “ even though I burnt down the kitchen…”  he had proved to them that he needs to be chaperoned. 

Denki Pov

“ So have I convinced you, will you guys stop shadowing me in the kitchen.”

 I read the last slide to the group, I was pretty proud of my arguments. 

“ Not a chance in hell.” Jirou

“What side were you even arguing for bro?” Sero

“I was rooting for you bro, but I don’t think I can anymore.” Kirishima

“From what you just showed me I think it’s safe I agree with the people who witnessed it, I can offer to be your kitchen chaperone though.” 

Shinsous words made me blush, he just offed to watch my every move, which I think he already does. He hadn’t been around for all the kitchen fire so maybe he doesn’t understand how well he would have to watch me. Yeah, that makes more sense than someone wanting to watch me, I’m not the most entertaining person.

“That’s my job Zombie bitch, so find a different one. Dunceface!”

Bakugou waved for me to sit down next to him, that and his protective words make me feel special. I wince at the name but still walk to sit in his right, between him and Shinsou but he grabs my waist and moves me to his left so I’m in between him and the armrest. His hand rests on my lower back.

“ Bakugou, your acting a little protective of Denki.”

Jirou mention, and though I agree I wished she wouldn’t mention it cause he’ll probably stop and I like the feeling I get when he protects me.

“Yeah, you act like his dad or something.” 

Sero mentions, I don’t see it that way, I hope he doesn’t see me as his son.

“Shut up you idiots!”

Bakugou says in a harsh tone but at a speaking level, not yelling or anything.

“Yeah bro, he’s too young to be a Denkis dad, he’s more like a brother, Bakubro, that could be your new nickname”

Kirishima said with a look of focus on his face, this was series for him.

“You’re totally right Kiri, he’s like the older protective brother in romances, and the younger sibling ends up dating his best friend or worst enemy, and they have to keep it a secret.”

I don’t think I like older brother any more than dad, I don’t want Bakugou to treat me like family.

“Ok let’s move on guys, Bakubro you want to go?”

Shinsou seemed to be purposely irritating Bakugou, I would have thought it was funny if the joke wasn’t about him being my brother.

“Fuck no, why don’t you go Mr.hypnosis?”

“Fine by me, let me get set up.“

While Shinsou got ready, I felt Bakugou pull me closer, or I think he did, it could just be my imagination.

“Ok welcome to my slide show, Why I would be a great boyfriend.”

I think Shinsou picked kind of a weird topic, I mean why make a slide show about being a good boyfriend in front of people that he would never date. I tried to pay attention but I didn’t want to, it makes me feel lonely to hear people talk about dating, even if it’s hypothetical. I start to nod off, I normally don’t fall asleep this early, but it makes sense today because I took a test in class so I couldn’t take my nap today, and Shinsou’s voice is just so soothing.

Bakugou

“ Yeah, you act like his dad or something.” 

Sero must have thought that it was funny to add on, it wasn’t.

“Shut up you idiots!”

I wasn’t going to listen to these extras talk about me being related to Denki, fuckin idiots, I thought I hide my crush well, but I didn’t know I was such a great fucking actor that they think were related.

“Yeah guy, he’s too young to be Denki’s dad, he’s more like a brother, Bakubro, that could be your new nickname.”

I was glad Shittyhair stopped them, but then he called me “Bakubro” he would be dead right now if I wasn’t worried about Shinsou taking my spot if I moved, I ain’t letting that mindfucker near Denki.

“You’re totally right Kiri, he’s like the older protective brother in romances, and the younger sibling ended up dating his best friend or worst enemy, and they have to keep it a secret.”

Of fucking course I know that troupe but I imagined myself as the boyfriend not the asshole of a brother.

“Ok let’s move on guys, Bakubro you want to go?”

I know what this mother fucker is tru=ing to get my spot and sit with Denki, not on my watch.

“Fuck no, why don’t you go Mr. Hypnostis?”

That’s right fuck your plan, go present about your cats or some shit.

“Fine by me, let me get set up.”

Why the hell does he seem happy about this, I’m the one next to Denki, pull him just a little closer to make sure he’s still there, he is. Which means I’m the winner in this situation, what does this bastard have planned?

“ Ok welcome to my slide show, Why I would be a great boyfriend.”

Oh nothing to be worried about, he thought he was doing something. Well guess what general studies boy, this won’t convince Denki of shit, and it wouldn’t matter because I wouldn’t let you get close enough to even ask him out. Though I’m not worried I’m still pissed, most of what he is presenting is bullshit or it inst enough, just proving to me that he doesn’t deserve Denki. He doesn’t even deserve to think he could h date Denki, he didn’t have the right to imply that the “significant other” was Denki, he doesn’t deserve to even lo-- who the fuck is touching me, oh its Denki. He’s using me as a pillow, I would never let anybody use me, but this was different this was nice. It also meant that Denki didn’t give a shit about Shinsou’s presentation, so it’s a win-win for me. I look at the sleeping angel on my shoulder, then I look up and make eye contact with the fucken bitch presenting, I don’t even try to hide the smug look on my face, keeping eye contact I pull Denki as close to me as I can, he’s warm, and I like that. I see purple brain’s face falter for a second, but then he continues his presentation with a little less enthusiasm than earlier. When he’s done presenting, he leaves, probably too jealous to be around me, as he should be. The rest of the extras do their slide show, Hair for brains does his on manliness, Sero showed off everyday items but they were made of his tape, I’ve seen him use some of the items, like the tape mug he uses every god damn mourning. I convinced the group of extras to let me stay where I was sitting for the presentation because Denki was still on my shoulder and I wasn’t about to remove him from it. My presentation was called “ how to cook you dipshits” one of my slides was actually dedicated to Denki and his strange skill of burning down the kitchen, I think it’s a little funny that my and his slides were connected. 

Since I was the last one, and it was almost curfew time, everyone went to their rooms. I stayed for a little longer, still enjoying the warmth Denki was giving off. Eventually, it was a curfew so I carefully moved Denki off me, got up, and picked him up. I made it to his dorm room, but when I went to open it, I found it locked. I searched Denki for the key but I found none, while I was trying to figure out what to do Denki whispered.

“ Are we gonna have a sleepover Baku?”

Hearing just the begging of my last name was a little weird but it was also cute, only cute cause he did it.

“Only if you want idiot.”

Denki groaned in my arms.

“Of course I do.”

I whispered an ok but I think he fell back asleep before he heard it. I carried him to my room, and the closer I got to my room the heavier he seemed. So when I got to the door I set him down and leaned him against the wall, so I could open the door. While I was distracted Denki fell over and there was a soft thud. I panicked but relaxed when I saw he was fine. I heard a creak from the door next to me. I look up and there stands my new insomniac neighbor, Shinsou.

“What are you doing with Kaminari?”

His voice was more serious than normal, as if I was doing something wrong, it pissed me off.

“I’m bringing him to a bed.”

“Why not bring him to his own bed then?”

“ Because his door was locked and I couldn’t find the key, then he said he wanted to a sleepover. Does that check out with you officer?”

“Why would he want to have a sleepover with you?’

I was done with his accusing tone.

“ Because we’re friends, and in the past when we had sleepovers he was happy, oh or maybe it’s because I give him the best damn cuddles he could ever need. Now excuse me but I’m going to bed cause I’m fucking tired.”

I pick up Denki and bring him into my room and place him on my bed, I was unsure if I should get in the bed with him, but when he started patting the bed as if he was looking for someone, I decided to be that someone, even if I’m not the one he was looking for.

All characters belong to Horikoshi and his series Boku No Hero Academia

[megbox]

2020 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2019) (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

2020 is a weird year because as the world goes through something collectively extremely traumatic and that is radically changing the structure of our lives, our workplaces, the way we connect socially, our mental health… our response to disease…. SO MUCH ABOUT THE WORLD…. And yet the day-to-day of living in a pandemic is so… mundane. I am privileged enough to have that opinion. I have stayed securely employed and it is privilege for my main reaction to something as intense as this pandemic to be boredom. But really, 2020 was a year of absences. It was a year spent largely alone, in my own company. It was a year that forced me to rest. It was a year that made me feel so terribly lonely but also forced me to get acquainted with myself and enjoy my own company in a new way. And it was a year of running. 

I would also like to thank Connor for making this post happen by reminding me to do it and not to break tradition. 

January & February 

I am combining these months because they were not altogether all that memorable. My resolutions, as I noted on Twitter on January 2, were to 1) Keep running and 2) Learn how to make fresh pasta dough. I can safely say – mission accomplished on both fronts. 

On January 14, I had the privilege of presenting a suicide intervention lecture to students at the medical school where my brother goes. By that time, I’d done a million of these presentations so nerves aren’t really a factor (imagine that! Me, no longer remotely afraid of public speaking…), but this one meant a little extra to me. My brother is so highly accomplished, and I am so proud of him, and I enjoyed having an opportunity to show him what I do and make him proud of me. I wore my favourite dress and did my hair all nice and he described it later as “exceptional.” It was a really, really good feeling. The first weekend of February, Ali and I had planned to go to Jasper. We wanted to go for a hike or two, and get super stoned and go to the planetarium. A huge blizzard hit Alberta just before we were supposed to leave, so we ended up having a staycation here in Calgary. We rented a hotel room, went swimming, drank wine, went to Japanese Village, had drinks in the lounge and then later to a punk rock band roulette night at the Palomino and finally crawled into our giant hotel bed and fell asleep to Remember the Titans… of all movies. It was the kind of night where you simultaneously feel 18 and 35 years old. 

March 

March was when the pandemic really started to become real. I don’t know exactly why, but I did not take the threat of coronavirus very seriously until the last minute. My coworkers would whisper about it in the hallways and I just rolled my eyes. But then, people started deciding they would work from home, the number of us in the office dwindled. The vibe was bad. Nobody could really focus. They held meetings at 8am and 4pm every day just for COVID-19 updates and we all waited with bated breath for them to finally tell us to go home and not come back. I really feel like I didn’t acknowledge the true implications of this virus until we got the official work from home order, and I had to tell my boss, my laptop at home is too old to run this software, I need a work tablet. My first official work from home day was March 23, 2020. I don’t remember much about that time except that the general sense of panic and anxiety made my job a lot busier, and it is hard to do a job like mine from home because it is hard to counsel or reassure clients through anxieties that are hitting you just as hard. I coped with wine, a lot of running, and listening to Ben Gibbard’s afternoon live streams where he would play acoustic versions of Death Cab songs and other covers. He played New Slang by the Shins one night and I burst into tears. I also coped with teaching myself how to make fresh pasta dough, and enjoying what was, at that point in the pandemic, the novelty and fun of Zoom. 

April 

In the absence of being able to have a party for my birthday, I decided to be obnoxious and do a “challenge” on my Instagram story. I asked my friends to record a distance run and/or walked and send it to me as a birthday present. My actual birthday ended up being a cold and windy and pretty miserable day. I ran 12km myself, came back home and watched both Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL, and then went to my parents’ to celebrate both Scott and I’s birthdays with our family. My friends dropped off presents to my door and drove past my house and honked and I felt very loved and appreciated. I drank a lot of Prosecco with my brother and we listened to Kacey Musgraves. 

It was also in April that I become “acquainted” with my neighborhood running nemesis. I put acquainted in apostrophes because I have never actually spoken to him. On one fateful run in April, I happened to catch up to him on my regular route. This was at the height of the COVID fear and so, while I would usually just pass someone on the sidewalk, I went out into the street. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and SPED UP. WHICH IS SUCH BAD RUNNER ETIQUETTE LIKE DUDE I’M IN THE ROAD LET ME PASS YOU. And then we ended up in this like, all-out 100m-finals-at-the-motherfucking-Olympics sprint challenge when all I was trying to do was go for a leisurely training run. And then I finally passed him, turned a corner and had to like collapse on to my hands and knees to catch my breath. Since then, I see this man running all the time. Sometimes while I am also running, sometimes from my car when I am driving through my neighborhood. He’s like… 16. And we are very competitive with one another. I hope to one day actually say hello to him. I both hate that guy and have to thank him for the motivation. 

I ran my first half marathon on April 13, 2020. I was very hungover because I had stayed up quite late with someone on Zoom the night before on a virtual “first date” that had gone much better than anticipated. I don’t know why but I woke up the next morning in such a good mood that I decided I would go for a long, slow run. I got to 18km and figured, what’s 3.1 more? And so, I did it. The first thing I did upon finishing was call my mom. The second thing I did was contemplate calling an Uber to drive me the 2km left to my house. The other notable thing in April is that Maddy moved back from Australia, begrudgingly and a LOT earlier than planned, because of COVID. 

May

May was kind of a blur. It was the first month of the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee, which I signed up for while coming off of the high of actually running a half marathon all by myself. The GVRAT was fucking awesome. It was created by Lazarus Lake, of Barkley Marathons fame. The ask is to run 1022.68km between May 1 and August 31, an average of about 8.3km per day. Well, you could run, walk, or hike. This is the actual distance it would take you to cover the state of Tennessee. Myself and about 20,000 other weirdos from around the world signed up for this challenge. I figured I would never get a chance to run in a Lazarus Lake race for real, and being home all the time opened up a lot more opportunity for training. It was one of the very best things I did for myself in 2020. So May involved a lot of running, because I was fresh and naïve and fully intended to be ahead of the curve. I was running about 10-12 per day, sometimes more, and not taking any rest days. 

In between these runs, I spent a lot of time going on long, ambling quarantine walks with Maddy. We would either go for a long walk or she would come over and we would get absolutely hammered in my backyard playing beer pong just to pass the time. We would send snapchats to our exes and make TikToks like 18 year olds. I know we never really said it out loud but having eachother during this time made these months bearable. We were lamenting the loss of a summer, and Maddy’s time in Australia, and all of the expectations we had for ourselves. We were watching our friends in relationships move in together or get closer due to the quarantine. We needed companionship, and stupid things to laugh about, and love, and distraction. And I can genuinely say I would not have gotten through this quarantine period if it weren’t for the nights I spent shooting Pink Whitney and dancing to Party in the USA in my living room with her. 

May 13th was my one year anniversary of working at the university. It felt good to have accomplished so many things in that time, and have moved up already in my job, and to have a full-time, permanent contract.

And May 16th was when I ran my second half-marathon as part of a virtual challenge put on by a friend of a friend. My parents came and sat in lawn chairs in the park while I did loops. They cheered me on and filled my water bottle for me when I ran out. They’re my number one supporters and I love having a family that does that kind of shit for me in the face of something arbitrary like a virtual half marathon challenge. I knocked 7 minutes (!) off my original time. Amazing what not being hungover can do for your fitness levels. 

June 

I don’t remember many important things about June, other than Maddy moving to Banff. It was depressing but I was also happy for her and happy to have an excuse to go out there and visit. I went the very first weekend after she moved. Halfway through June I seriously contemplated quitting the GVRAT. My shins were bruised, I was dreading every single run, and I could not fathom doing it for 2.5 more months. I was dragging behind in the standings and losing my motivation. 

I spent a lot of time with friends reading in parks. Sometimes, often, with wine. I met a stranger in Canmore Park and ended up kissing him. He was lovely. 

Ali and I had one really good day in June where we went to the Farmer’s Market and then came back to her place and watched Ru Paul’s drag race for like eight straight hours. It was one of those days where we hadn’t seen each other in so long and you just feel totally high off of friendship and absolutely everything is funny and you just can’t stop laughing. I vividly remember it as one of the best days of the year. 

July

Again, July kind of passed in a blur. I did a lot of hiking, and a lot of running… keeping up with the GVRAT. I hiked Picklejar Lakes, Castle Mountain, Little Beehive Lookout. 

I went to Banff for a weekend to hang out with Maddy. We had a predictably wild weekend with her roommates and friends. We had dinner at Chili’s (hell yeah) and then went to High Rollers for beers and bowling. The “thing to do” at that point for all of these Banff people was to meet at the “rec grounds” aka public firepits and drink. The police would generally leave you alone so long as you weren’t being rowdy. I sat next to an Australian named Josh at a picnic table and later took him back to my hotel room and he gave me the world’s most unbelievable obvious hickey. Maddy and I sweat out the tequila shots the next day with a long ass hike, and then had a nap before her brother came and took us climbing at the Sunshine slabs – an activity I was not very good at but I wanted to be good at. It was the kind of weekend where you feel like, okay, I definitely indulged my wild side. And you drive home just like totally exhausted but smiling. I sent Maddy’s brother a voice note on my way into town thanking him for taking us climbing and saying it was nice to see him.

August

Okay – August was actually really eventful. Like most of the year’s events happened in August, honestly. A lot of running and hiking. I did Ha Ling Peak for the first time, and we did a 30km hike to Aylmer Pass one day that was a fricken GRIND. I spent the long weekend in Saskatchewan. We went to a cidery, and I ran laps around my Dodo’s acreage, and then we got to visit Wakaw Lake and reunite with our old next-door neighbours. We took the boat out and went tubing and lit fireworks and had an amazing dinner and honestly it was like reliving my childhood in the best, best, best way. I fell asleep on the car ride home. 

I went camping with Ali in Sylvan Lake. We got ice cream and cooked fish tacos over the campfire. She told me that Cody had a date planned for the day they took possession of their house, that she wondered if he might ask her to marry him but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case it didn’t happen and ruin what otherwise was supposed to be a celebratory day. Spoiler – he did ask her to marry him  I was running when she called me. I was listening to Epsilon by Kygo, and now when I hear that song I always think of them. I stopped my watch and just openly bawled on the street out of happiness for them. 

Steven successfully defended his master’s thesis. We went camping in Waterton to celebrate with Matt, Kennedy, Regan, Scott, and Rie. They brought cake. We did a sunrise hike. I slept in the back of my Ford Escape. 

On August 27, Ollie passed away. It was both expected and unexpected. He had been having some issues with seizures. The vet didn’t think it was anything to be too concerned about, he was old and it wasn’t uncommon for them to happen. It happened suddenly. I had a terrible sleep that night, and woke up in a cold sweat somewhere between 3 and 4 am. In the morning, my mom called me and told me the news. He had a giant seizure in the night and was crying and yelping. They woke up and took him to the emergency vet, they made the executive call to put him down to prevent any further suffering. He died right around the time I woke up in the middle of the night. I like to think that was his way of saying goodbye, maybe. I cried all day. Well, let’s be honest, I cried all week. I burst into tears at the mere thought of him. He was such a good and lovely dog. He was so loved by us. He had a good life. It is always sad when we lose pets so early. They bring so much joy to our lives, and still when I go to my parents’ place the first thing I want to do is call for him or pet him. I hope he is running around in whatever the pet afterlife is. I miss him. 

And on August 31, I ran my last kilometre of the GVRAT. I finished with 733.78 run, 83.18 hiked, and 205.09 walked. 

September

September was a nice break from running. I got to start coming to campus one day a week, on Thursdays, which was good for my mental health and work productivity. I got to spend September long in Vernon with Maeghan and Madison at Michael’s family’s cabin. They took us boating and made us meals and didn’t judge us for drinking margaritas with Michael’s sister literally all day. It was the best. It was the epitome of every summer weekend you dream about. I was so happy I got to go. 

I met a boy in September. It’s always September, isn’t it? It feels weird to write about him. Like, that makes him significant. But. He is significant. And I met him in September. And it was unexpected. Last minute. And essentially not a day has gone by since that day in September that I have not thought about him.

I also joined a Calgary Sport and Social Club team with my friends for softball and it started in September. We played two games and then I tore my hamstring running from second to third base. I tore… my hamstring…. Running like 30 metres…. After a summer of literally running 10+ km every day. I… it was the worst day ever. Softball itself was amazing and so fun even though I really do suck at the sport but highly recommend Rec League C-level beer league softball with all of your best friends. There’s just no way that isn’t fun. 

October 

A lot of pouting about my hamstring, I went to two physio sessions and then decided to just start running again. I’m bad. I’m a bad example. Don’t do what I do… but also…. It worked. 

I went to Victoria to visit Sydney over the Thanksgiving weekend. We went to a Thanskgiving potluck party at my old coworker’s place. It was a nice experience to be the new people at a party, to have a room full of new people to meet and who ask you questions about your life. We got really drunk and they tried setting Sydney up with one of their roommate’s brothers, and gave us lipstick to try, and poured us tequila shots. We had such an amazing meal. It was honestly so fun. We laughed in the cab the whole way back about how we were going to need to debrief that evening HARD the next morning. We watched a lot of All Gas No Brakes, and went for dinner and brunch and I limped up Mount Doug with my hamstring. It was a very very chill weekend, like we spent a lot of time just lounging at Sydney’s apartment and doing nothing. Because that is the kind of friends we are. It was so relaxing and lovely. I was sad to leave. 

Karla, my roommate, left for New York at the end of October. Her aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she and her mom made the executive move to go there to basically be with her for the end of her life. She wasn’t going to be back until December. I was happy, because it’s nice to have a place to myself, but also sad because Karla is lovely and I knew it was going to be a stressful situation for her. 

November / December

I am combining these two months because they have also been largely uneventful. In fact… I don’t know if I could really tell you anything significant that happened. We’ve been in a lockdown. I’ve spent my time playing piano, watching Netflix, listening to podcasts, basically doing all of the things I usually do when I’m bored. Lots of Among Us. Lots of outdoor things… skating… more running. We’ve been in a lockdown since early December. Time has dragged on since then. I spent Christmas with my parents. Scott and Rie stayed isolated, because Scott is in and out of the hospital for school. My mom and I watched shitty Christmas Hallmark movies and made fun of the guys who star in them. We drank a LOT on Christmas Eve and both spent Christmas with a wicked hangover. My dad and I ate edibles and I was launched into the stratosphere. I spent New Year’s Eve with Boy from September. We played beer pong, and card games, and he tried to use a coat hangover to pick the lock on the mysterious room that my landlord keeps locked. We spent most of the night kissing, honestly. I was happy to spend the last moments of the year with him.

2021: 

Honestly... at this point... who really knows?