#see tucker carlson shitting bricks over whether his texts with alex jones will come out

[qqueenofhades]

Lmao have you seen the people screaming “defund the FBI”? I am not over the irony

Oh yes, I have seen them. Allow me to translate from Republicanese to English:

"ANYONE WANTING TO DEFUND THE POLICE IS A COMMIE SOCIALIST LAWLESS BASTARD ... UNLESS THE POLICE ARE INVESTIGATING REPUBLICANS!!! IN WHICH CASE DEFUND THE UNAMERICAN GAZPACHO POLICE!!!"

"DEMOCRATS NEVER GET INVESTIGATED BY THE FBI! FORGET THE PART WHERE COMEY REOPENING THE CASE ON CLINTON WITH 11 DAYS UNTIL THE 2016 ELECTION ALMOST SURELY COST HER SAID ELECTION! NOBODY IN HISTORY HAS EVER BEEN MORE PERSECUTED THAN US 😭😭😭😭😭"

"LOCK UP ANY FEDERAL OFFICIAL ACCUSED OF MISHANDLING SENSITIVE INFORMATION! LIKE WHEN TRUMP HIMSELF SIGNED A LAW TO IMPOSE STIFFER PENALTIES FOR THIS CRIME!!! EXCEPT NOT TRUMP HIMSELF BECAUSE WAH WAH THAT’S MEAN"

"NO PRESIDENT HAS EVER HAD THEIR HOME RAIDED BY THE FBI BEFORE! THIS IS POLITICAL PERSECUTION! PLEASE FORGET THE PART WHERE NO FORMER PRESIDENT HAS BEEN UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR TREASON CHARGES!"

"THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT SHOULDN’T BE POLITICAL! TRUMP NEVER POLITICIZED THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT! EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE HE SUPER TOTALLY TRIED TO USE IT TO LAUNCH AN HONEST TO GOD COUP AND INVESTIGATING PEOPLE WHO BROKE THE LAW AND TRIED TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT A POLITICAL (IE BAD) ACT!"

"WE ARE JUST POOR LITTLE BABIES WHO ARE BEING PERSECUTED FOR LOVING FAITH FREEDOM FAMILY AND AMERICA!!! WITCH HUNT BLARGLE LIBERAL SNOWFLAKES SO DELICATE PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT US MELTING DOWN OVER LITERALLY ANY HINT OF ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES FOR OUR TERRIBLE ACTIONS! FORTUNATELY WE HAVE THE MEDIA TO HELP SPIN ALL THIS AS ACTUALLY A PROBLEM FOR DEMOCRATS! BLORGLE!!!!!!"