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certaimromance · 3 days ago

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ꫂ ၴႅၴ Chasing Ghosts.

Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader (platonic)

Summary: Everything in your life is finally under control and almost perfect, but somehow chasing the ghost of Aaron Hotchner is still an obsession.

Words: 1,9k.

Warnings & Tags: angst WITHOUT a happy ending. hotch being an absent father figure. so much angst (yes, again). temporarily located after he leaves the FBI. same reader as in "tall child" but several years after that. so inspired by ��like him” by tyler, the creator and all the edits with the song that I see. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I've been having trouble getting through the second part of "Tall Child" (if you're wondering if I'll write one, yep, and I hope to upload it soon but I'm so blocked:c). This idea came to me out of the blue because I, too, feel abandoned when I start watching the episodes after Hotch leaves<///3.

The quiet hum of the BAU filled the air, the same familiar rhythm of paperwork being shuffled, pens scratching against files, and the faint sound of voices from down the hall. The office you were in—Emily’s office now—still carried faint echoes of what it used to be. The desk was different, the decor had shifted, but the weight of the space hadn’t changed. It was still steeped in years of hard decisions, late-night strategizing, and memories that lingered even when the man who made them had gone.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

You sighed as you sifted through a stack of reports, scanning them for inconsistencies. It wasn’t even your responsibility—you were just helping out, filling a gap as the team caught up on their endless backlog. You’d been in this office countless times since Aaron had left, but it still felt strange. Like you didn’t quite belong. Like you were stepping on sacred ground that no longer had a place for you.

Being here without him was like being in a different place.

You’d been trying not to think about it, about how long it had been since he left. A year now, maybe more. You weren’t counting. Or so you told yourself for mental health. But in moments like this, standing in what used to be his space, surrounded by the echoes of his presence, it was impossible not to feel the sting of his absence.

You didn’t blame him for leaving—not entirely. Jack deserved his father, a life of peace away from the chaos of the FBI. You’d even admired his courage for walking away from something he’d dedicated his life to…You knew you would never do something like that; he was brave. But nothing of that softened the sharp edge of hurt that had been lodged in your chest ever since the day he said goodbye by a stupid piece of paper.

The truth was, he hadn’t just left the Bureau and all the atrocities that this entailed. He’d left you.

Your eyes flicked toward the desk, now Prentiss’s, and for a moment, your fingers brushed its edge. It was ridiculous how something as simple as the grain of the wood could bring back a flood of memories—of late nights, terse discussions, and the way his voice would take on that steady, commanding tone that somehow made you feel both safe and seen. The way he scolded you when you did things against protocol, the way he almost smiled when he thought you didn't notice, and most of all, the way he left overnight.

A soft knock at the door snapped you back to the present. You looked up, startled, to see Rossi leaning casually against the doorframe. His sharp eyes seemed to take in everything—the reports, your posture, the way your hand still rested on the edge of the desk, as though anchoring you to something unseen.

“Working hard, or hardly working?” he quipped, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.

You mustered a weak smile. “Just helping Emily with the backlog. Thought I’d clear some of this off her plate.”

He nodded, his gaze drifting around the room. It lingered on the desk, the walls, and the chair before settling back on you. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something knowing—that made your stomach twist.

“You’re in here a lot,” David observed, his tone casual but laced with something deeper.

More than a lot for someone who was supposed to stop doing it on the advice of her therapist.

Because you don’t need to keep hiding you in work. Your life was good now, or so you kept telling yourself. You had settled into your role on the team, earned the respect of your colleagues, and built a rhythm that felt steady, even fulfilling. You went home to a warm apartment that didn’t feel so empty anymore, filled with little things that made you smile: books on the coffee table, cozy blankets, a half-dead plant you kept forgetting to water. You even start to have casual dates sometimes to open your heart to the world.

“Just helping,” you repeated, more curtly than you really intended.

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the desk. “You know, you’ve always been a terrible liar.”

“What?” you asked, your tone, again, sharper than you intended. The defenses around you were activating automatically.

He raised his hands in mock surrender, but the smirk on his lips betrayed him. “Nothing. Just��noticing things.”

Your jaw tightened. Working with profilers meant every word, every movement, was analyzed. You hated it so much in these moments.

“What?” You demanded, unable to keep the irritation from your voice.

He tilted his head, studying you with that maddening patience of his. “You make the same expressions he used to.”

No. No. No.

Do not mention him. Don't make even the slightest reference to him. Don't think about him. Don’t.

The air seemed to leave the room. Your heart clenched, and for a moment, you forgot how to breathe. “What are you talking about?” you asked, though you knew. Of course, you knew.

“The furrowed brow when you’re deep in thought,” he said, his voice softer now. “The way you purse your lips when you’re frustrated but trying to hide it. And now, in this desk…you’ve always been like him. Always will be.”

You’re just like him? You look like him?

A bitter laugh escaped your lips before you could stop it. “Great. I’ve picked up his bad habits too.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Rossi said gently, his voice softer now. “It just means he left a mark.”

You turned away, pretending to focus on the files in front of you, but the words hit harder than you wanted to admit. Of course, Hotch had left a mark. How could he not? He’d been your anchor, your mentor, your constant—even when you were at odds. And then he’d left. He’d walked away from the BAU and from you as if you were disposable.

“Doesn’t matter,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. “He’s gone.”

Rossi didn’t respond immediately. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, almost hesitant. “Still angry at him?”

The question hit you like a gut punch, and for a moment, you couldn’t respond. Your hands tightened into fists at your sides, nails digging into your palms as if the physical discomfort could drown out the storm in your chest. “I’m not angry,” you said, the words escaping your lips faster than your brain could catch them.

It was much more complex than that. Your feeling was more akin to disappointment than anger or rage because you knew you could never hate him.

He didn’t press further, instead leaning more comfortably against the desk, as if he had all the time in the world. “You know he wanted a life for Jack,” he countered, his voice measured. “You can’t blame him for that.”

“I’m not blaming him,” you said, though it felt like a lie even as you spoke it. “But I don’t get why he had to leave everything.” you snapped, the sharpness of your voice startling even yourself. You turned away, staring hard at the stack of files, though the words on the pages blurred into meaningless lines. “He could’ve stayed in touch. But he didn’t.”

Zero calls, zero messages, zero signs that at least you mattered to him.

Rossi sighed, his expression softening with something like sympathy. “Aaron’s always been good at one thing: convincing himself that distance is the best way to protect the people he cares about.”

You looked away, the weight of his words settling uncomfortably in your chest. It didn’t make it hurt your heart any less. Nothing could ever dispel the pain, nothing but the embrace of the same person who provoked it.

There was a long pause before he spoke again, his tone lighter, almost teasing. “You know, there’s a way to settle this.”

You frowned, glancing up at him. “What are you talking about?”

Without a word, Rossi reached into his pocket. The sound of his hand brushing against the fabric of his jacket broke the tension like a crack of thunder in the stillness. He pulled out a small card and held it between two fingers, his expression unreadable as he extended it toward you.

“What’s this?” you asked, the words coming out more hesitant than you wanted.

“His number,” he said simply. “It changed.”

Your eyes dropped to the card, to the string of numbers printed neatly on its surface. For a moment, all you could do was stare. It felt like the weight of the entire room had shifted onto that tiny slip of paper. Your fingers twitched at your side, aching to grab it, yet rooted to the spot.

“I’m not calling him,” you said, though your grip on the card betrayed your uncertainty.

David smiled knowingly, as if he’d already won. “I didn’t say you had to. But if you ever want to talk to him, you’ve got the number.”

You shook your head. “No. If he wanted to talk to me, he would’ve called. He hasn’t.”

“Maybe he thinks you don’t want to hear from him,” Rossi countered. “Maybe he’s giving you space.”

“Space?” you repeated, the word bitter on your tongue. “Is that what we’re calling it now? Abandoning people?”

“He didn’t abandon you,” Rossi countered firmly, though there was no edge in his tone, only understanding. “He left because he had to. For Jack. For himself. And maybe—just maybe—he thought you were strong enough to handle it.”

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and you turned away, blinking hard to keep the tears at bay. You hated how much they affected you, how much he still affected you. “Well, he was wrong,” you muttered, the words barely audible.

Rossi didn’t argue, didn’t press. “You don’t have to use it,” he said, his voice softer now, almost a whisper. “But if you do, maybe you’ll figure out that he didn’t leave you. He just…left.”

With that, he stepped back and walked out of the room, his footsteps echoing softly down the hallway until they disappeared altogether, leaving you alone in the thick, suffocating silence.

Your eyes fell back to the card on the desk. It seemed out of place there, too bright and clean against the chaos of papers and reports. You stared at it as if it might leap off the desk and demand an answer. But it just sat there, motionless, yet somehow unbearably loud.

Your grip tightened, the edges of the card biting into your palm. And then, with a sharp, decisive motion, you tore it in half. The sound was quick, final, like the snap of a cord that had been fraying for far too long. You tore it again, and again, the pieces falling to the desk in a jagged, fragmented pile. Each rip felt like releasing a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, like reclaiming some small measure of control over the chaos he’d left behind.

When the pieces were no more than scraps, you gathered them up and marched to the trash can. You dropped them in, the fragments fluttering down like ashes from a fire long extinguished. You stared at them for a moment, your chest heaving, your emotions still raw but now dulled by the act of destruction.

Turning back to the desk, you sank into the chair, forcing your focus onto the reports in front of you. The room still felt heavy, the ghost of his presence lingering in the corners, but you pushed it aside. There was work to do. There was always work to do.

And after all, you were just like him.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch angst #thomas gibson

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written-and-readen · 1 day ago

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Let Me Hear You

Jiaoqiu x fem!reader

Summary: You have to find a new way to relay your pleasure to him.

Warnings: nsfw (18+), fingering, penetrative sex, cumming inside, post-Wardance (2.5 spoilers kind of)

a/n: It's been a while since I've written for my husband

You’re not sure how much more of this you can take. Jiaoqiu’s loss of sight had made many things in your shared life different. It wasn’t until now that intimacy was one of things you had to figure out anew.

So, here you are completely bare and seated on Jiaoqiu’s lap. Like you, he’s shed all his clothes. His hardened shaft presses into your folds, which would previously have you begging him to put it in already, but you haven’t gotten there quite yet.

Jiaoqiu’s hands are currently roaming the expanse of your body. His touch isn’t as precise as before when he honed in on all your most sensitive spots immediately. Instead, his brows furrow slightly like he’s trying to map it all out in his mind, sloppily trying to reach every inch of you.

You stay patient while he runs his hands up your arms before coming down on your chest. A heat rises to your face as he shamelessly gropes your breasts, cupping them, palming them. It’s only when he pinches your nipple that he elicits a yelp from your mouth. His ear twitches at the noise. You figure he has to be playing with you when he quickly does the same to the other, trying to get the same reaction. Disappointment crosses his face when he doesn’t.

You bite your lip as he continues playing with your perky nipples. He rolls them between his thumb and finger, flicks them, and even takes one into his mouth momentarily. Only once he’s satisfied do his hands slide down your torso. He traces around your waist and hips before settling on your thighs.

Then, the Foxian leans in to begin nipping at your neck. Again, you’re trying desperately to be quiet as his teeth graze soft skin. A surprise push on your thighs accompanied by him reaching a particularly tender spot has you letting out a long moan, your clit dragging against his cock as he grinds you against him. His ear twitches again, flicking against your cheek.

“You know, I would like to hear you more, dear,” Jiaoqiu says.

“What do you mean?” You’d never been particularly vocal in bed, finding the obscene noises embarrassing. Jiaoqiu pushes you against his cock again, making you release another whine.

“How am I supposed to know if I’m doing a good job now that I can’t see?” You figure that’s true, but your face also flushes at the thought of him getting off to your moans. A hand on your cheek brings you back to reality. “You can just talk to me, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod. He goes back to sucking marks around your neck, noticing how you shudder against him.

“How does that feel?”

“G-good.” A slight moan catches at the end of your answer as he takes the opportunity of your mouth being open to move a hand to your clit. You feel his fingers run across your folds, no doubt noticing the juices that are a result of his actions and swiping them up.

“So wet,” He notes, “Care to tell me why that is?” A smile tugs at the edge of his lips. Of course he’s teasing you.

“You’ve been toying with me for the past hour. What else did you expect?” You mumble, but any answer is enough to please him.

“Well, I would hate for all this to go to waste,” He hums before pushing two fingers into your pussy. Your head falls on his shoulder while he scissors them, stretching your walls. “Tell me how that feels, dear.”

“Feels good—Jiaoqiu!” You keen as he hits just the right spot.

“Ah, how I missed you saying my name like that.” You don’t need to look to know how he’s smirking. You feel him speed up, and you shake when you feel your climax approaching.

“Close…I’m close,” You breathe out. At your warning, Jiaoqiu’s thumb presses into your clit, automatically pushing you into orgasm with a long moan. He continues working his fingers in and out as drops of your cum fall onto his cock.

“Good?” He asks with a tilt of his head.

“More than good.” You lean in to give him a quick kiss which he obliges.

“Ready for the next part?” Your eyes travel down to his dick, its tip prodding the entrance of your folds.

“Yeah, I think so.” The push into your pussy makes you think you spoke too soon.

“Such a tight little thing.” It’s Jiaoqiu’s turn to groan as he buries his length inside you. Your walls clench at his words, drawing another noise out of him. You start rocking your hips until Jiaoqiu’s hands begin to guide them up and down.

“How does that feel? Do you enjoy having me fill you up?” You can feel your mind go fuzzy as his cock repeatedly hit deep inside you every time you come back down onto it. Your inhibitions slowly start to fall as whines spill from your lips.

“Y-you’re so deep, Jiao. Keep going, please keep going.” He hums happily, tail swaying on the sheets behind him.

“Care to elaborate?” A touch to your clit has a symphony of moans reaching his twitching ears. He's teasing you. You know he's teasing you, but you don't care. If he wants to know, you'll tell him.

“I love the way your cock hits all the right places. Love how full I feel. I love you, Jiaoqiu. I love you so much.” Your voice slurs amidst the pleasure clouding your thoughts. His hand reaches to cup your face so he can pull you into a kiss, swallowing all your sounds. Your lips move clumsily against each other as he works your clit. Your hands hastily thread through pink hair, tightening at the same time your pussy does when you cum. Jiaoqiu can only follow suit at seeing you come undone around him. A gasp leaves you at the sensation of warm cum against your walls.

Jiaoqiu falls back onto the bed, taking you with him as you both catch your breath. You melt into his chest, twirling some strands of his hair around your finger mindlessly. Arms wrap around your middle, keeping you close.

“You did such a good job,” He murmurs to you, “I love hearing your voice, so grace my ears a little more often.”

#written by ray #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail smut #hsr smut #jiaoqiu #jiaoqiu x reader #jiaoqiu smut

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cindersnows · 1 day ago

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the problem with mitsi (or as i like to call it. mitsogyny)

(context: this was written under a youtube video, which i'm sure most of us have at least seen pop up in our recommendeds, in response to many people taking criticism against the new episode. it has been edited a little to be more cohesive as a somewhat-essay)

ok, i wanted to write out a rant/essay/ramble/whatever sort of summarising the criticism against mitsi's plotline because a lot of the people here seem to be misunderstanding the fundamental issue that people have with it, including some of those people themselves.

first off, an analysis that i think tell both sides of the argument very well which i feel should be read before reading the essay: Mitsi: What Makes A Fridged Character (and why y'all are wrong about it) | an AvA essay by InksandPensblog. i will note: i don't care to discuss whether mitsi was fridged or not and that won't be of much importance in this post. the above link gives some insight into some of the fandom's criticism of mitsi and how she was "fridged", defining common tropes for examples. that's what's relevant to this post.

the main issue with mitsi, in my opinion, is less with the fact that mitsi's a girl and moreso the fact that she's one of the only female-coded character in the series, and that her character's main purpose was to further victim's own development. the other arguably female-coded character in the series is pink, who (like navy) only really exists to explain purple's motivations. i don't have much of an issue with that since they're not meant to be important or sympathised with at all. that's not their job in the story.

with mitsi, i've seen people point out that she has more character to her than just victim's love interest and supporter: she invents rocketcorp, she's smart, she's kind, innocent and helpful. narratively speaking, she shows other creations' relationships with their animators, parallels her innocence with victim's trauma, and introduces victim to the outernet (as most fans call the stick realm).

but most of this things imo are either stretches or invalid arguments. she's not really a 2/3-dimensional character in any way; her main character traits boil down to the fact that she likes to be in service of others with no nuance behind why she likes helping people. she hypes up victim for the villagers, she starts a company with him to share his talents with the world, and she helps him overcome his trauma from alan's torture. all of her main plot beats center around victim: and while technically the sticks are genderless and free to be interpreted however the viewer wants, alan and most of his team see all the main characters as male, and that subconciously affects how they're written. mitsi, the first major female-coded character, spends most of her storyline in service of victim, a character not written as female.

there's also the issue of her being victim's canonical love interest. i feel like this statement from alan is important to keep in mind (don't mind the sound effects and edits, this is the only isolated clip i can find at the moment). in particular:

"i just assume that [the ava/m characters] are just a bunch of bros]. i haven't thought of adding any female stick figures but i think it'd be good. i don't want to introduce any romance though, i don't want that to be a theme."

he seems to have changed his mind on that last part, which is fine, but the notable part for me is that he seems to associate female characters with romance from the getgo. before anyone misinterprets this, i'm not trying to call alan sexist or anything. but there's a common issue with women in stories being reduced to just a romantic partner for the male lead, and mitsi falls under this, with her entire character existing to serve victim. (not to mention people will make things about romance whether you like it or not. that's just basic fandom. search up grapeduo or chodark.) even her death is to put victim on the path of vengeance--- it doesn't need to happen to show the extent of tco and tdl's destruction, because that's already made pretty clear in ava s2 the flashback and the earlier scenes showing various characters escaping burning buildings. when you write a female-coded character whose only purpose is to serve a male character, you're contributing to sexist narratives.

a counter i see many people point out with the idea that she has no character is that she does have character traits, it's just that they're generic ones like "kind" and "innocent". the issue is that she has no flaws to counterpoint this; it's not that she didn't have enough screentime. in ava4 for example, we see tsc's flaws pretty clearly; they can be very mean when they want to, they're petty (albeit for a fair reason), they're a little impulsive. this is shown in 11 minutes (from the moment they come alive to the end of the video).

with mitsi meanwhile… she doesn't seem to have any flaws? she helps victim whenever she can. she's nice to all the villagers. her customers all like her and she's a great leader at rocket corp (to note, specifically as part of a pair with victim. they're a power couple, she's barely given credit for her work alone). she has 13 minutes of screentime, or 10 if you count from her waking up in the outernet. there's plenty of opportunities to show her having flaws; maybe she acts a little selfish during tdl and tco's attack, only wanting to help herself and agent smith, or maybe she overworks herself, or feels awkward at having too much attention (and that could also be why she redirects so much attention to victim, she's shy). you could argue that the episode needs to develop victim and agent smith too, but ava4 shows that's easy to do too: just a few seconds dedicated to showing rgyb fighting over who leaves first shows that they can be selfish and childish. it's very easy to insert a moment like that for mitsi.

it's a little disappointing when the first major female-coded character in ava is completely flawless, with no personality outside of being nice and helpful for others.

also, slightly unrelated, check out this quote from mitsi's plushie website: "her white featureless face seems to ooze mystery and feminine power all at the same time." her main character trait, as a woman, is being feminine. it's irritating as someone who's been raised a woman to see her reduced to just her gender. she feels more plastic than a person, like the concept of what a woman should be (perfect, kind, useful) and not an actual character/person.

i would expect more from the writing in the series seeing as it's not just an independent passion project anymore, and has multiple writers that all could've worked to flesh out mitsi, or at least get a sensitivity reader of sorts to point these issues out. it's extremely disappointing and i can understand why people were upset.

tldr: the problem isn't just that mitsi's a girl, or that she's nice or dating victim, it's that she's written in a misogynistic way.

#alan becker #animation vs animator #animation vs minecraft #ava mitsi #ava victim #avm mitsi #theo's rambles #ava vitsi #ava vicsi #victim x mitsi #animator vs animation #ava ships #avm ships #ava agent smith

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zepskies · 1 day ago

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Aww here we go!! 😍 👏🏽👏🏽 I've been very excited to see what you'd do with Russell, considering your affinity and talent for writing our favorite law enforcement boys. This was just as twisty and exciting as I thought it would be!

“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,” Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.

loll what I'd give to make sure he's got everything nice and fluffy. 😏

(A hot tub in the back, huh? Wayne, stop giving me ideas for ESC one-shots. 🥵🫠)

Providing answers didn’t come easy for the older Shaw, however. In fact, it had always been sort of a problem for him – even in the past. Especially in the past. Russell never lied, but he did omit things. Important things. On purpose.

Ooh yep! You really picked up on aspects of Russell's personality that I felt inherently when I was watching (studying) him, but hadn't consciously put into words. 👌🏽

All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.

It's also so interesting (and crazy) how little Russ and Colter know about each other now as men. There's got to be shades of who they were when they were younger, but it's bittersweet in a sense. And now they're both trying to suss each other out like lone wolves that are kinda sorta friends. 😂

Of course, there's still that "I thought you killed our dad" for 20+ years -- on Colter's end. 😅

“Yeah, well, let’s just say in an ideal world this, uh, woman would be part of that exit,” Russell said and sounded purposely casual as if he didn’t care the mission was successful or not in the end, omitting yet another thing – he did care. He cared a fucking lot.

Okay, this whole thing with the reader is fascinating. Because why does he have to go through all this trouble to find her if they've been a thing for 10...12...14...20-something years?! (Love how the number in Russell's "memory" just kept getting longer. 🤣🤣) It feels so sketchy all around, and oh so intriguing. Why haven't they seen each other in so long? Were they...

And if she's still "in the game," how does Russell think he's going to get her out and settle down with him? 😏

I'm full of questions, but I know you have a brilliant master plan for all of this. I've noticed this about the most recent stories you've created, but you're so very good at writing these law enforcement/military men paired with heroines that share their world, almost the "same foxhole" type of deal. Except for that his heroine partners usually outrank him. 😏

I tend to go the opposite route, partly because I'm interested in the dynamic between these kinds of men and a "civilian," but also because I don't think I'd be able to do the "same foxhole" trope justice. So that's something I really admire about you as a writer. 💜

The push and pull banter between Colter and Russ in this chapter was also so fun to read lol. I could literally quote every moment because it was all so well-written and priceless. And it just kept building up the mystery of the reader and why Russell is doing all of this, right up until that awesome cliffhanger!!

This first chapter hooked me right in -- can't wait to dive into chapter 2 next! 🤩🤩

The Exit Strategy – Part 1

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there's one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, mystery, a tinge of angst, humor & brotherly banter, one tiny surprise 🤓

Word Count: 5.8k

A/N: Happy holidays, guys! Enjoy 🎄❤️

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List

Part 1: This Is Not a Pipe

The heavy truck door slammed shut behind him as Russell slid into the passenger seat with an exhaustive sigh. Colter’s big pickup was parked right next to his beautiful Chevelle in that same old motel parking lot in Virginia.

Russell hadn’t moved – yet. Well, sort of. He’d been away on assignment in some frosty region for a couple of weeks. He wasn’t allowed to say where exactly he’d been, and he knew better than to put it into writing, so let’s just agree he was at the North Pole looking for Santa Claus.

He could’ve ended up anywhere he wanted once he touched ground in the States again, but a very appreciated phone call from a former colleague made the decision for him. Besides, Russell knew this particular motel well. The coffee was more than decent and got the job done, the owner and employees were nice, comforting, and, most of all, trustworthy, and there were always fresh towels.

“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,” Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.

Oh, and they had a hot tub in the back…

“Thanks for coming, man,” Russell extended his greeting without glancing at his younger brother once. He could feel Colter’s scrutinizing eyes on him, though, drilling for answers. Granted, his request had been rather unusual, so Russell understood where his younger brother’s ever-frozen furrowed brow stemmed from.

“Yeah, uh, sure,” Colter replied with a polite smile as he started the car and rolled out of the lot.

Ah, yes, politeness…

That was what they were at, although it was progressively improving. It was only the third time the brothers were seeing each other since they had reconnected. And while the last two encounters had given the Shaws some well-needed time to talk things out and build trust, Colter was still naturally wary of his estranged sibling. As was Russell.

“So, what’s this about? You were pretty vague on the phone. You in trouble?”

That finally caught Russell’s full attention. He quickly shook his head, causing his hair to fall into his face. “What? No! No… No trouble,” he swiftly assuaged his brother with a dismissive hand gesture and a lighthearted chuckle. “Just need your help tracking down an old friend of mine, is all.”

Colter quirked an eyebrow at that. “Another Army buddy of yours?”

“Uh, something like that, yeah,” Russell replied rather mysteriously and didn’t even try to conceal the fact that he was hiding something more behind his ambiguous answer. But Colter only intensified his stare at him and wouldn’t let go that easily. Russell knew that. After all, they were related.

Persistence was a Shaw family trait. Another survival skill, if you will.

But this time, Russell wasn’t hiding a big government secret (or maybe he was). No lives depended on this particular mission (or so he thought). He wasn’t protecting a client, a company, or even his dubious employer (but someone else). He wasn’t choked by an NDA or about to save someone in grave danger (as far as he knew).

No, if anything, it was the fact that Russell didn’t know how much he could or should share with his brother. They were related, yes. But, technically, they hadn’t seen each other in decades, so they weren’t just considered merely estranged but strangers. Russell had always been aware of that fact, and Colter was beginning to catch on.

Especially during this mission.

See, once upon a time, the two hadn’t been just brothers. After moving to the cabin, societal contacts became scarce for the siblings. All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.

How much did they really know about each other now, though? How much of the old was still there?

“So, who are we looking for? What’s the guy’s name?” Colter asked, suddenly eager as he jumped into gear. He had always been restless, even as a kid, which fondly reminded Russell of their childhood.

But how much was he still the Russell that Colter once knew?

Well, Russell, on the other hand, remained calm and ruffled a casual hand through his beard. “Well, she’s, uh–”

Eyebrow cocked, Colter snapped his head to the passenger seat where his brother started to squirm. “Oh… Oh, so it’s a she,” he emphasized with a small grin. “Now I think I get it.”

There it is. I knew it, Russell thought with an internal sigh. In order for this mission to work, he knew he had to reveal some things. Private things. Things about himself and his life. Going in, Russell knew he couldn’t ask Colter for help without giving him something.

Their father had loved tests (and so did you – but that’s another story…). Russell always thought it had been the professor in him. So, Russell saw this as a test as well.

Could he trust Colter? And more pressingly, considering some long held accusations of murder, did Colter trust him?

A clear of Russell’s throat cut right through Colter’s chuckle. And then, the eldest tried his best to give no reaction at all. “Yes, she’s a… woman, but hold your horses. It’s not what you think, okay?” Colter lifted his eyebrow once more, causing Russell to heave another exhaustive sigh. “Fine, alright? It’s exactly what you think.”

Well, close enough, Russell thought. He knew Colter couldn’t even possibly imagine the reality in his wildest dreams.

Usually, Russell was an expert in avoiding uncomfortable questions. He was a pro at ditching answers and keeping secrets, even under torture and duress. However, there was just something entirely unique about dodging questions posed by little brothers.

And Russell saw it as a perfect bonding opportunity. He wanted to fill the chasm between them that their father’s death had caused – once and for all. But he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t walking around on eggshells most of the time – something that reminded him of you again.

Learning from past mistakes, Russell wanted Colter to experience the fun side of him. The one that brewed his own beer, cared too much about his car, and had weird tastes in food. He chose to leave out the rest – the dark stuff and the very best stuff, too.

After all, Russell was good at omitting things.

Colter chuckled triumphantly. “Does this mean you’re finally giving up on Reenie?”

Amused, Russell let out a snort. “Ha! You wish… First things first, alright? Let’s just see how this thing pans out. It’s kind of a long shot. You know that exit plan I told you about?”

“Yeah, you wanna open your own brewery, right?”

He cared a fucking lot.

“Really? Okay.” Colter scratched his jaw and gave his words some thought. Then he offered a small, yet kind, smile. Honestly, Russell didn’t know what he had expected. “But, you know, if you want me to find the future Mrs. Shaw, I’m gonna need more information to go on. A name, last address, or a-, uh, a picture, maybe?”

“Well, name’s not gonna help you much in this case.” Your first name might’ve been shareable intel, but your last name was of the highest classification. “Her last address that I know of was in Berlin. And while I do have one photo of her, it’s not meant for your eyes, brother,” Russell said with a firmly territorial look that still carried a mischievous twinkle, revealing the exact nature of the photograph to be indeed inappropriate.

Russell had one naughty photo, yes. But he had a whole giant box of others, too.

Colter’s eyebrows met above his nose as he licked his lips. Customarily, people gave him more details when they needed him to find someone. But then again, those people usually weren’t his brother. “Do you know anything about this woman? How long have you two dated?”

“Uhm… not that long,” Russell supplied with a clear of his throat before mumbling the rest of his answer, hoping his beard would swallow most of his words. “Ten years. Give or take…”

What is time anyway if nothing but a concept, right?

Colter blinked at him and almost steered the vehicle off-road before gripping the wheel a little tighter. “I’m sorry… Did you just say ten years?”

“Well, might be more like twelve,” he admitted finally. “Well, anyways, saw her last three years ago.”

“Wow, okay, uhm…” Colter became quiet for a moment, speechless probably, the tiny bits of information running on a loop through his mind. He figured his brother still had lived a life while they hadn’t been speaking. Of course he had. He just never thought about what that life might have entailed, aside from classified military operations. “So, you’ve dated a woman for twelve years…”

“Fourteen.”

“…haven’t seen her in three, and know basically nothing about her?”

Russell snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Ridiculous… Not even sure the name she did give me was her real one,” he said. It was a joke. He did know the name. He knew everything there was to know about you. So, maybe he did lie – sometimes. “But it’s the job, you know? It’s-, uh, it’s complicated.”

That part was true. Truer than he could ever possibly describe in words.

“I guess so…” Colter sighed, and Russell could hear the growing frustration. “So, she does what you do?”

Russell nodded. “In a way, yeah…” And Colter knew what that answer meant – he couldn’t say more. Again. “But don’t worry. We won’t have to turn over every stone on the face of this planet. I have a general idea of where she lives these days,” Russell provided. “One of my, uh, associates was working a job with her not that long ago. That’s how I found out she’s back in the States.”

Colter nodded in acceptance, knowing it was no use to try and prod more answers out of his brother. “Alright. Guess that’s something. So, where are we headed to?”

Russell then flashed him a grin with newfound determination sparkling in his green eyes. “Falls Church.”

The short drive had remained quiet for the most part. Colter refrained from asking more questions, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get straight answers out of his older brother in one form or the other. To accentuate Colter’s assumption of receiving non-answers, Russell mostly stared out the window with an intensity that had Colter believe his brother was counting trees when, in fact, Russell was pondering what he would, could, or should tell Colter.

Of course, Colter could also always ask more questions about their elusive father, but he didn’t do that either. Sure, one could say he was curious. More than that even.

What did Russell really know about his death? Their mother? Their family? Their work?

Another time, he kept telling himself throughout whenever he stole glances at his long-lost sibling. It was too soon. What was the point when Russell was so clearly reluctant to share anything at all?

Thus, there was nothing left but silence among peaceful woods and dense foliage till Colter pulled his truck over curbside in the idyllic town center of Falls Church.

Patiently, he waited a moment for Russell to open the floor and tell them their next logical steps. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, blew raspberries, clicked his tongue, and waited and waited and waited…

Nothing.

If Colter didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought someone carved a lifeless wax statue out of his brother and planted it on his passenger seat. Russell’s entire body stood motionless, only a set of green eyes flickered alive every once in a while and swayed out the windshield in search of something – or someone.

“So, what’s the plan here?” Colter asked with a clear of his throat. “You just wanna stay here and wait till she accidentally runs across the street?” It was meant as a joke, but to Colter’s dismay, Russell remained dead serious.

“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” the older Shaw confirmed and squinted his eyes at the busy street. Again, he had omitted a few things. In his mind, Colter didn’t need to know why Russell knew to be in front of the post office at exactly 15:03 (UTC–4) on a Tuesday.

Colter snorted a laugh. “What? C’mon, that can’t be the plan… Do you know how many people live in Falls Church? Or in the general Washington metropolitan area? We could be here for days. Weeks even…” The younger Shaw then switched fully into work mode, grabbing his phone from the Bluetooth car mount. “We’re never gonna find her like this. You got a phone number, maybe?” But before Russell could answer, Colter replied himself, shaking his head at his own silliness. “What am I even asking? Of course you don’t.”

Russell only smirked at that. Restless, he thought again.

“What about an old one? Maybe even that would help. I could call Bobby, Reenie… You got anything? Nothing?” But the younger Shaw’s questions apparently stumbled upon deaf ears. “Russell? Russ? Are you even listening to me? I’m trying to help you here. You could at least–”

“Found her!”

Russell almost jumped out of the car as his voice rang with sheer excitement. His heart was beating a mile a minute when his emerald eyes landed on the target. It felt like the very first time all over again.

Granted, the first meeting didn’t go so smoothly – there had definitely been some bumps (all on his part). Then again, he expected this next meeting to go a little roughly too (again, all on him).

“Wait, what?!”

Russell downright beamed. “Told you this would work.”

Colter only scoffed under his breath, the familiar competitiveness crawling back to the surface. “Yeah, well, beginner’s luck, okay?”

One boot had nearly touched asphalt before Russell remembered this wasn’t a situation that required him to storm in guns a-blazing – not even covert. Gentle hands, he reminded himself and swiftly closed the car door again, falling back into his seat. His lungs deflated.

Colter, on the other hand, was more confused than ever. “What-, uh, what are you doing?” Half-amused, his brow furrowed a bit more. “If you’ve found her, go talk to her. Where is she? Who is it?”

Curiosity could only be contained for so long. Colter wanted to know who had been a part of his brother’s life for almost as long as he had. He felt this was a key piece of information that would cause the first domino to fall. And then, revelation after revelation about Russell’s past would unravel.

Basically, Colter was waiting for the big epiphany. No pressure.

Russell vehemently shook his head. “Can’t. At least not like this. I need more intel first. You need to find out her name, and then we need your guy Bobby to get onto this.”

And yet again, guess what? Yes, Russell was, indeed, omitting things.

“Me? Why me?” Colter blinked at him. Surprise, surprise…

“‘Cause, obviously, she’d recognize me,” Russell pointed out. Again, omission. Like he had explained earlier, it was a real problem…

Colter exhaled a deep sigh. “Okay, and I’m guessing you’re still not gonna tell me why we’re doing all of this, right?”

“Nope.”

“Yup, thought so.” Still not convinced, Colter narrowed his eyes at his clearly paranoid brother. Maybe paranoia ran in the family. Not to point fingers – he recognized it in himself, too. “Do we really need to go through all that trouble? I mean, you’ve known that woman for, what, fourteen years, you said? Isn’t that a little extreme… even for you?”

Fifteen, Russell corrected in his mind. Close to sixteen. Nineteen max.

“Just trust me, okay? It’s necessary,” Russell reassured, knowing those words bore some weight. Hurriedly (he was getting antsy – this was a time-sensitive issue), he pointed a finger out the window to the sidewalk across the street. “You see that woman walking into the post office? That’s her.”

“What, the brunette in the flowery dress with the golden cross necklace? That’s her?”

“Yup.”

“Wow, okay…” Surprised didn’t come close to explain how Colter felt. He had expected… different. His brow almost met his hairline, but he still tried his best to conceal his wonder – to no avail.

Suspiciously, Russell leaned back in his seat and assessed his brother’s demeanor with a small glare. “What?”

“Nothing.” Colter threw his hands up in surrender, swallowing. “Just… She doesn’t really seem like your type.”

Amused, Russell stifled a chuckle. “And what exactly do you think is my type, little brother?”

“I don’t know…”

“What, you think some nice Christian girl is too good for me?” Russell deadpanned. Admittedly, he enjoyed bantering with his little brother. It reminded him of what he had missed out on for years. This was what he had wanted and longed for since he had left the family at eighteen.

Well, “left” wasn’t really the right word for it now, was it? It implied a voluntary act, and his leaving wasn’t so voluntary.

“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Colter countered, laughing. “It’s just, you know… dental hygienist in a motel hot tub springs to mind.”

“Okay, alright… You done?” Russell huffed, shaking his head. He refrained from showing his honest amusement. “You’re gonna follow her in or not?”

“Alright, I’ll go,” Colter finally agreed somewhat enthusiastically and jumped out of the car, swiftly following the woman inside. After all, he was curiouser and curiouser…

Russell kept his eyes trained on his younger brother until Colter vanished inside the post office. Now, it was out of his hands, only hoping his little brother wouldn’t blow it. Chances were high he would. Not that Russell didn’t have some faith.

He just had more faith in you.

Colter spotted you picking up mail from a PO box and decided on a plan of action in a matter of seconds. After all, he was quick thinking on his feet and the best at what he did. That’s why he was here. That’s why Russell had picked him for the job, right?

As you made your way back to the door, Colter eloquently intercepted you without disturbing the crowd. Another thing he had learned from his father.

He bumped straight into your shoulder and almost tackled you to the ground by the sheer force of his sneak attack. The mail in your hands scattered to the tiled floor like autumn leaves, and as Colter bent down to help you pick it up, he took a peek at your name on a postcard.

“Oh my God, would you look at that… I’m so sorry, Miss–,” the younger Shaw apologized clumsily, “Nora Laurier.” He uttered your name with a suave smile as he handed you back your pile of letters. The flirt in his eyes, however, he only added for Russell as revenge for Reenie. “Beautiful name.”

Your hands lingered on the letters between you for a moment as you took in his features and tall stature. It left you with a strange haunting of familiarity.

“Thank you,” you finally said with a hint of a smile as he let go of the mail. “Be more careful next time.”

“I will. Sorry again.” Colter chuckled with blushed cheeks and watched you leave. He waited till you had passed the row of windows before exiting himself.

He was a good actor, too.

Antsy, Russell almost bit his lip bloody as he stared the post office down till a migraine began to form. God, what he wouldn’t pay for some X-ray vision and super-hearing. He could be downright Superman with that – and the hero always got the girl.

His heart dithered anew with longing as you walked out – it took his breath away. You always did that, and you did it well. But then, you stopped short for a mere second, which wouldn’t have caused a civilian to raise a single brow. But Russell did.

“Shit…” he mumbled in the silence of the truck and lowered himself down to the dashboard. He watched you reach for your phone in your purse and call someone as you headed down the street.

Eventually, you stopped three houses east and finished your call in the shade of a tree next to a busy (and noisy) bus station. Russell caught your eyes drifting back to the doors of the post office, though, just as his little brother walked out and jogged towards the car.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Russell ducked even further down, hitting his head in several places. “What did that knucklehead do?”

The driver’s door opened as Colter casually slipped inside. “Got a name,” he announced victoriously. Part of his happiness emanated from gathering yet another puzzle piece of his mysterious brother – meeting you. “She goes by Nora Laurier now… And she seems nice. Way too nice for you, actually…” As he drifted off, his eyes searched for the elder one before finding him almost kissing the floor mat. “Russ, uh… What-, uh, what are you doing down there?”

“What the hell did you do?” Russell’s tone was both snappy and frustrated.

“Whoa, what d’you mean what did I do?” Colter waved off defensively. “I did what you told me to do!”

“She made you!”

“She did not make me,” Colter brushed off with a laugh, quite confident of his own skill set. They’d had the same teacher. He would know if you had suspected anything.

“Then why did she wait and look after you, huh?” Russell pointed out in annoyance.

Colter’s lips itched to break a smile. He couldn’t help it. It was the perfect opportunity to teach his flirt of a brother a well-needed lesson. “Well, maybe I caught her eye… piqued her interest, you know?”

Russell cocked a brow from below, his stare lethal. “Did you flirt with her?”

Colter hesitated for a moment. Mostly for dramatic effect. “I-, uh… You told me to get her name. ‘Sides, I told you Reenie was off limits.”

“Oh, so this is about revenge? Very mature.” Russell frowned. “She still there?”

“Where?” Colter stretched himself a bit as he looked out the windshield.

“Tree. Bus station.”

An amused smile formed on Colter’s lips as he spotted you. “Oh, yeah. I see her. I don’t think she suspects anything. She’s not even loo-… No, uh, wait… Yup.”

“What?” Russell’s brows drew together as he rose a little from his crouched position.

“Yeah, she’s definitely looking over here.”

“Well, stop looking down,” Russell hissed through gritted teeth. After a deep breath, he spoke in a calmer, more advising tone, “Pretend I’m not here.”

“Trying to, trust me… Should I wave at her? Smile?”

“Are you nuts?! Just look ahead. Pretend you’re getting a phone call.”

Colter did as he was told and held his phone to his ear. “She’s still looking,” he informed with a pressed smile, barely moving his mouth when he spoke.

“Okay, what’s she doing now?”

“There’s a-, uh, there’s a car coming and pulling over by the bus station. Dark gray Audi A6. Virginia Plates. Yankee-Papa-Charlie-5824,” Colter said as Russell hauled a pen from his pocket and began to jot down the plate numbers on his left palm.

“Copy that.”

He’d memorize them anyway, but one could never be too safe. He could get a concussion in the next hour or so (most likely because of you), and then what?

“Okay, she’s getting in,” Colter narrated. “Driver’s in his late-thirties. Male. Glasses. Medium height. Medium build… I think you could take him,” he added with a teasing grin.

“Shut up,” Russell retorted. “Are they gone now?”

“Pulling away from the curb and… Yep, they’re gone. Headed south down the road,” Colter affirmed.

“Alright.” Russell popped back into his seat with a sigh and some sore muscles. He had been sure he’d heard a few bones crack while he’d been cowering down there. He might be finally getting too old for these missions. But that was part of the reason why he was here in the first place – retirement was calling. And Russell wanted to fill the chair next to him on the porch.

“You good?” Colter checked and choked the small laugh that wanted to escape upon the ruffled sight of his older brother.

“Yeah, go ahead and follow them. Just keep a low profile,” Russell instructed. “On our way, you might wanna call your op analyst, too. See what he can find out.”

“Alright,” Colter agreed somewhat reluctantly but still tailed the sedan. “You sure this is a good idea?”

“What d’you mean?” Russell said mindlessly, keeping his eyes focused on the target vehicle.

“Us… stalking your ex-girlfriend?” Colter noted with a cocked brow. “And her potentially new boyfriend?”

Russell only laughed at that. “We’re good. Trust me.”

Admittedly, though, a small part of him wondered (and worried) if this was all real. Maybe Nora Laurier wasn’t your real name, but it might be your actual new one – one you’d adopted as a safety precaution after you’d left it all behind. Maybe you had finally done it and retired, found a perfectly normal guy, and settled down – just without him.

Or:

Maybe you were still in the game, after all.

Russell was hoping it was the latter. Otherwise, he could probably expect a hefty restraining order in his future, but he wasn’t about to tell Colter that. Not until he knew for sure.

The Audi parked in front of an organic grocery store a few blocks down. Colter chose a spot across the parking lot, keeping a reasonable distance with the perfect view. Russell watched as you and Unnamed Man #1 sauntered into the store, an arm slung tightly around your waist and a smile on your face.

While on the phone with Bobby, Colter could tell that the sight of you in another man’s arms stung. “Okay, uh, thanks, Bobby.”

“What’d he say?” Russell fired as soon as Colter had removed the phone even just an inch from his ear.

“Uh, well, there’s some bad news,” Colter revealed hesitantly and licked his lips, not knowing how he was supposed to break his brother’s heart. “Bobby ran the plate number through the DMV. It’s registered to an Aiden Laurier.”

“Laurier?” Undeniably, Russell’s heart flinched at the connection. “Maybe a brother. Cousin…”

Or a colleague, Russell’s mind stubbornly added.

Colter bit his lower lip hard before he spoke, “They’ve been married for two years. I’m sorry, Russ.”

A hand comfortingly patted Russell’s shoulder. A part of him wanted to scream heavenward, but something else inside was gnawing on him.

He clicked his tongue. “No… No.” Sure, one could argue that denial was always the first step of grief. “No. No way she married sweater-vest John Mulaney over there.”

“I’m pretty sure she did. Bobby sent me the marriage certificate,” Colter countered and showed him the screenshot on his phone.

Russell glanced at it for a short second, not even bothering to waste more time on fake news. He shook his head. He knew better.

“Nah. I’m not buying it. You need to go in there and tell me what you see.” He sealed his words with an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

Colter exhaled deeply. “Russ, I-, uh, I think you need to let this go, man. You’re starting to… Never mind.”

“No. Go ahead. Say it,” Russell prompted with some thunder in his voice. “I’m reminding you of Dad, don’t I?”

Colter only twitched his shoulders. “I mean, yeah. A little.”

Russell’s head bobbed in thought before he met his little brother’s eyes. “You really don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“The post office, the road crew over there, the-, the fake documents?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“C’mon… Just think about everything Dad taught us, huh?”

Was Colter really not getting it? Russell found that quite hard to believe. He had known his little brother to be as sharp as a whip. While Russell didn’t always have the nicest things to say about their father, he could admit the old man had prepared them well for life. Well, one life at least. This one.

The nomad life, the odd jobs that required them to have a particular set of skills like Liam Neeson.

Colter shook his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Russell.”

Russell let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. “Alright, if you don’t see it, you don’t see it.” A smirk twitched in the corners of his lips. “It’s your funeral, brother…”

With narrowed eyes, Colter pursed his lips. “Alright, just tell me one thing, okay?”

“You know I can’t tell you anything,” Russell reiterated and brushed his beard.

“I know. I know… It’s not that kinda question,” the younger Shaw reassured.

“Go ahead,” Russell relented and curiously looked at his brother.

Within a second, Russell could think of a million questions Colter might want to ask him, but this hadn’t been one of them:

“In the past three years, how many times have you thought about her? And I don’t just mean ‘crossed your mind’ every couple of months. I mean ‘seriously thought’ about her?”

“Hmm.” Russell pondered for a moment before replying, “Every damn day.”

It wasn’t a lie, no omission of anything, and Colter could tell. You were the first thought that popped into Russell’s still groggy mind when he woke up and the last one every night that fluttered across his weary eyelids. Obviously, he didn’t give Colter the soppy answer, though.

“Fine. I’ll go,” Colter softened his stance. “You owe me,” he added with a pointed finger before setting foot outside the car.

“I do owe you. Anything you want, brother,” Russell agreed with a broad grin. “How about we start with a full case of my homebrew, huh?”

Colter danced gracefully through the aisles, spying through canned goods and boxes of cereal. He watched you carefully select fruit with your husband, move through the dairy talking about “organic” and “locally sourced” till you landed on a few choices of toothpaste and finally strolled to the cash register.

Everything seemed boringly normal and ordinary. You chatted with the cashier. They handed you a coupon, which you slipped into your purse. Your husband paid with his credit card (which carried the same name matching the DMV records), and both of you left the store with two paper bags in your arms.

Once through the sliding glass doors, you stopped and turned to your husband. “Darn, honey, I think we forgot the milk.”

“You want me to grab it?”

“No, I’ll do it.”

“Okay, I’ll wait by the car and load the rest of the groceries.”

Now, Colter found that odd. He had watched you spent at least five minutes in the dairy aisle. How could you forget something as basic as milk?

As you hushed inside, your husband sauntered back to the car, and Colter followed you back in. You passed right by the dairy and, with a few looks that resembled a scan of your surroundings, you slipped past the door that led to the restrooms.

Waiting a beat, Colter went in after you. But you were long gone – just not to the restroom. An ‘Employee Only’ door that led to a dumpster alley outside was just falling shut.

Granted, Colter had a bad feeling about this. It was the same feeling he always got shortly before walking into a trap. In his defense, though, you were not a seven-foot-tall, 300-pound kind of guy. He wasn’t about to be ambushed by Shaquille O’Neal, which is probably why Colter didn’t find it necessary to pull his gun.

In hindsight, he should have.

The narrow alley was quiet and empty, except for some trash littering the ground around the dumpsters. It was closed-off, too, wedged between buildings with no view to the parking lot or nearby streets.

And then, something hit him. Or better yet: You hit him. With an elbow to the face and a stiff, flat palm to his throat, Colter stumbled forward before you gave him the final blow and knocked him off balance, tackling him to the ground.

Pressing his cheek into the rough and unforgiving surface of the asphalt, you jumped on him and restrained his arms tightly behind his back. While he squirmed to get out of your hold, he didn’t use as much brutal force as you expected he would.

“Shit,” he muttered below you, his voice muffled by the gravel. A light chuckle escaped him. “Okay, you got me.”

“Sounds about right,” you agreed with a smirk and tightened your grip on his arm.

Then, Colter heard a gun click above him. Hoping to see his brother, he looked up – only to find your husband with a weapon in hand as he stared down the barrel.

“Ah, I think you broke my nose,” the younger Shaw mumbled with a groan.

“Good. You’ve been following me. Why?” you prompted sternly. “Who are you? Who are you working for? Jafari? Mueller?”

“Listen, I-I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not who you think I am,” Colter argued with a strained voice. What the hell had Russell gotten him into? “This is just a big misunderstanding.”

“Uh-huh.” You could only roll your eyes at that. How many times had you heard that line before?

“Let’s hood him. Get him to the Market,” your partner suggested. “We’ll see if he talks then.”

“No, really,” Colter insisted, growing a bit more uneasy. He had no idea what the Market was, but it didn’t sound pleasant. “You know my brother.”

“Who’s your brother?” With your elbow, you put more pressure on his back.

“Ow, alright…” Colter groaned once more as the pain intensified. “Looks kinda like me. Think two decades younger. He was in the Army, so probably didn’t have long hair and a beard. Uh, kind… green eyes? No? Doesn’t ring a bell?”

Colter watched your brow furrow in his periphery as he squinted upwards. He could see the gears starting to turn in your head. You just needed one final push to put all the puzzle pieces together.

“If it helps, my name is Colter. Colter Sh–”

“Shaw,” you shot like a missile. Your jaw plummeted to the ground, your heart springing right out with it. Your grip on the man caught between your thighs loosened, hearing Colter’s sigh of relief before you heard his voice.

“Hiya, sweetheart.”

Your head darted up, the man beneath you long forgotten. You swallowed as your eyes landed on an all too familiar face – even when it was covered by a bunch of hair that had never been there before. The heart-crushing smile was still the same as if it had been ripped straight from an old photograph you had of him.

“Russell?!”

Part 2: This Is a Russell Mission

Quite the entrance! Writing Russell reminded me somewhat of Plastic Hearts Dean (minus the addiction problems unless you count lying) because of all the wild overthinking 😂

If you enjoyed this story, then I'll gladly keep working on its prequel. Was a bit nervous to post this since I filled in some family history gaps myself 😅 I also dove into the books a little and added some things that kinda fit their "show" personalities.

Please let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in a young soldier!Russell series 😉🤍

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@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways

@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith

@nesnejwritings @samslvrgirl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @fromcaintodean @barewithme02

@thebiggerbear @star-yawnznn

@deansimpalababy

#the exit strategy #russell shaw #russell shaw x reader #russell shaw x you #russell shaw series #tracker #tracker cbs #lovely mutuals #zepskies reads

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phoebe-delia · 3 days ago

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Phoebe's 2024 Year in Review

I was tagged by the gloriously talented @getawayfox in this tag game (see El's 2024 in review here).

2024 was...kind of a mixed bag. I finally quit a toxic job after trying to quit back in February, hanging around for several months, and then finally cutting the cord in November. I've been so so lucky to get to take a break, and I've never been happier.

I have been struggling to write for a long time. I just posted the last chapter of the Hanukkah series today, and at 12k it's the longest thing I've written in years. Looking back, I think the job had a lot to do with it. I was incredibly inexperienced while doing arguably one of the hardest jobs at my workplace while working for a notoriously rude supervisor.

Between work, and forcing myself to have a social life, my creative writing suffered. In some ways, I feel like I'm back to square one. Like I lost all the progress I made before this job, and now I've got to get it back. I know that sounds odd, and probably isn't true, but it's how I've been feeling. But I'm working on it! And I'm lucky I get to do so.

The Hanukkah series isn't the best thing I've ever written. But holy shit am I proud of it. I wasn't sure I had 12k in me. And I'm so happy that I do.

I'm also proud of everything I did this year! I wrote some fics I've been meaning to write for YEARS. Here are the non-drabble fics I've published.

I'm Beginning to See the Light (an Eight Drarry Nights Story)

Let Me Stay

'tis the damn season

I Could Never Rescue You

___

Tagging anyone who hasn't done this and wants to! This is your sign! And please tag me if you do!

#drarry #harry potter #draco malfoy #year in review

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 2 days ago

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Major Blog Update: Inbox Cleared, Life Updates, a big thank you and More!

First of all the big one:

The deed is done...The Inbox is dead.

Long live the inbox.

To get a fresh start, I've deleted the current inbox of all my asks.

The inbox memes, the nightmares...they're finally over...

ANYWAYS, feel free to send in any request you may have as per usual, just figured I clear that damn thing finally out considering I've had asks that are three years old in there.

Right now I'm really getting into Honkai: Star Rail since Natlan kinda killed my enjoyment of Genshin, but those gals I will still love and write for (I mean, I'm sure as heck not changing the blog url) so don't feel discouraged if you came to this blog because of my Genshin content. And of course my other fandoms are still good to rock and roll!

One last thing before the cut:

I want to thank EVERY ONE of you for following this blog and sticking around with my goofy ah for so long.

I genuinely get excited to read any message or request you put under my posts or inbox, whether it be feedback or joking around! And I know we have the memes going on about me being drowned, please know I do genuinely take the time to look at every single one that comes in everyday, even if I didn't say anything or respond. And it means the world to me that ya'll like my writing enough to continue asking of me.

You all are the reason I even put the effort I do in this blog for so many years, from my newer followers to those who have followed me since my first blog. I could not ask for a better group than ya'll.

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, and let's have a great year together!

ANYWHO: For those who care enough, this is what's been going on with me for the last few months.

Work:

As for why I've been absent for a while: simply put because I work a retail job. Thankfully nothing too bad, it's just normal scheduling and it IS work I very much enjoy and get paid relatively well. My love for writing is still very strong as is my simping, so no worries, I don't plan on going anywhere.

I DO greatly apologize for making everyone wait for literally ANYTHING, doubly so if you had an ask I didn't get to yet. I wanted to honestly save everything into my drafts, but alas I could only choose some select ones.

You're more than welcome to send it back in, and since things have calmed down I SHOULD be getting to them a lot faster.

Genshin:

In regards to what I said earlier about Genshin: Natlan kind of killed any enjoyment I had playing, characters were REALLY unappealing to me, it made my friends stop playing so therefore I stopped as well as that was the major reason I still had it installed. I don't really plan on adding anyone from Natlan or anyone else from that game in the future, so apologies if you were looking forward to that from me specifically.

Star Rail has been filling the hole in my heart and honestly? I have a lot more writing freedom writing the gals from there, but again, don't feel afraid to send me any genshin request! I still simp for my Mondstadt women after all.

Other things I've been doing/Ideas for the blog:

I've also been playing games (and getting distracted) with my irl friends and trying to catch up on my hobbies to prevent myself from burning out, Minecraft has been a big thing lately for me again: specifically Pixelmon LMAO.

For 2025 though, I plan to at least post an imagine once a week starting next week since things are still settling down and I have to get my work schedule.

I might also start posting (Eventually) my personal writing projects here to get feedback and possibly go to AO3 to post my crossover series since Tumblr isn't really the place to be doing so (Chief among them my FE3H AU: House Isekai), or if demand is high enough I'll post it here.

Oh, and with this major update I have once again updated my banner, not that it's really important, just that I put a good amount of effort in it, more than you'd think for how simple it is. I also want to see if anyone even gets my reference LMAO

Once this post goes live, I plan to add a few new characters, starting with the Commander from Girls' Frontline but we'll see how it goes.

I think that's all I got for right now, so see ya soon guys!

- Chris

#not an ask #chris's thoughts

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amethystfairy1 · 3 days ago

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well I've spent all day thinking about it so here are some predictions for how "And you open your eyes into mine, and everything feels better” is going to work out in defending order from most likely to least likely (and also kinda vaguest to most specific ig) If there's two contradictory predictions assume they're two separate thoughts I think are most likely in that order to happen

Martyn POV chapter 3

Chapter 3 Is a Martyn POV of chapter 2

C3 is the aftermath of C2

Martyn runs away again and/or throws up again or something after the kiss because intrusive thoughts just EXPLODED in his mind

Martyn doesn't believe Ren's feelings are genuine

Ren has an emotional breakdown

Flower husbands give relationship advice (they are very unqualified)

Ren's previous headspace causes either a shutdown or regression (basically he's the quiet, respectfully curious, obedient mas again [I think those were the adjectives?])

Martyn blames himself for Literally Everything that's happening in the relationship because he "forced this" on Ren and he IS just as bad as the others

Ren blames himself in layers of assaulting Martyn, kissing his master (out of his own accord), not knowing how his own emotions work, and now fully well and good believes Martyn is gonna sell him (somehow more than before because now he deserves it)

Martyn breaks down and apologizes for his intrusive thoughts, thus confessing to them (he's under the impression Ren already knew) causing either

a meta-ish conversation about those unwanted feelings not defining someone esp since Martyn is actively disgusted by them

More angsty relationship strain before the resolution (listen after reading almost 800k words worth of your tippy taps, I feel like some things are safe to assume.... I hope-)

Martyn confession (this is only this low because it could end up being in another fic)

An actually healthy conversation occurs

Another attack or ambush of some kind occurs

Due to [insert reasoning here], flower husbands misunderstand the situation and believe Martyn pushed Ren to do something, causing them to doubt Martyn's character and causing more feelings of betrayal

We get treebark by the end of the fic! (Only this low because I wonder if treebark would be established now or kinda saved for after the duo figures out their emotions, which could happen this fic or in a later fic)

Feel free to ignore this just wanted to share the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind in the bestest way :))))

These are alllll fantastic. I love all of them, I LOVE seeing people trying to work their way through how my stories are gonna break down as they come out, it's always so much fun! I love love love it so thanks for sharing!

And my response is this.

I hope you enjoy it.

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #traveling thieves au #treebark #trafficshipping

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carcasscounty · 20 hours ago

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Quick discussion post because there's stuff happening in the fc5 community and it has been high-key bugging me. Please actually read the post before adding on because I fear there's been a LOT of people hopping on this without having actually seen the work being called into question here

Feel free to add or correct me if I've missed something or made any mistakes, I am human and do make mistakes

Content warning for mentions of incest, this one's a doozy

You are not in the wrong for creating art that depicts or represents your trauma however you want or however helps you cope with it. It is your life experiences and it is entirely up to you how you go about expressing it, nor are you in the wrong for exploring more dark and uncomfortable topics in your art. That is not what is being criticized here, and anyone who has gone out of their way to harass you and anyone that associates with you for it is very much in the wrong and needs to knock it off

However, what you ARE being criticized for is how you've gone about posting it. There were no warnings or tags that this was, in fact, oc x canon incest art, nor is it clear in the specific pieces of art that this is what it is about. THAT is what the problem is. Your art contains seriously triggering content that could be a hazard for the people that have the context, and as the artist, it is your job to ensure that the posts are tagged properly to avoid having people who don't want to see that stuff come across it. I myself even saw the art on my dash at some point and thought, "Oh ew, that's just oc x canon nsfw," and thought nothing more of it until i actually looked at your account. And if i, someone who has all the appropriate tags ("tw incest," "tw rape," "tw sa," etc) blocked can stumble across your art without it being hidden, THAT'S KIND OF A PROBLEM.

And I'm not trying to accuse you of anything, but the fact that there's no proper warnings in the tags or anything mentioned in the actual posts has me a bit worried that you are trying to hide it and get people to engage with the art without fully even knowing what they're looking at, which isn't a good thing

Screenshots just to prove that the art pieces in question currently have no warnings tagged at the time of writing this

I'm pretty sure the only post that had the incest warning was one brief fic on the account, and then there was one mention on a sfw art piece that mentioned that she is supposed to be his daughter. But other than that, that's it

As someone who has gone through a similar brand of trauma that you have, you have my deepest sympathy and I am so sorry. However, you are in the wrong here, your posts should have been properly tagged.

It frustrates me deeply that the people who have spoken up about this in a civil manner (not referring to the anons who were harassing people) are being treated like the unreasonable ones here, and it frustrates me even more that people are hopping on a side without even actually understanding what the problem is. Almost everyone has fucked up here in some capacity

#i am kinda pissed off #if you couldn't tell #it is frustrating that the 16 year old (me) had to be the one talking about this #fc5 #fc5 fandom #rome's ramblings #tw incest #tw rape mention #tw sa mention #warning

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docholligay · 2 days ago

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I have a whole video coming about this, about confidence and being a unique dresser, but as I've been trying to do it (editing for myself for the first time!! Applaud me!) I realize it's going to take me awhile, so I promise I will have it for you by the end of the month, but for now, let's talk about boiling the frog of your own personal anxieties in post form.

I am a unique dresser. I dress in a way that draws attention. I have been doing this for a long, long time.

There are a million things I will tell you about dressing this way in public, and they're 96% good, honestly, mostly you have to deal with people telling you how nice you look. But that's for the video, and I'm working really hard on it, so I'm not going to give the milk away for free here. You gotta watch my painstakingly hand-edited artisanal woman-centered garbage!

But what I will say, is how you get used to the idea.

When I get ready to wear something that is out of my comfort zone*, I wear it a few times just for myself. I look in the mirror, not looking for flaws, really, but just observing how I look in it. What about it do I like? What do I like less? Is it bad, or am i just not used to it?

Then I wear it around the house for a whole day. I make sure to catch a look at myself whenever I pass a mirror or a window or something. I need to be able to see myself in the item because it needs to become a part of the way that I think about myself. Because that's what a lot of this kind of anxiety is. It's that, it's not a way that you think about yourself. When you see an outfit or a style and you want to imitate it, and you think, "I wish i could wear that" a lot of what is stopping you, generally, is this idea that you're not the kind of person who wears that. That it would be odd for you to. We have to fight that, and the best way to fight that, is to utterly disprove it. You ARE the sort of person who wears that, and the more you see yourself in it, the more it becomes true.

Vacations are a great time to wear something that feels new to you, especially if it feels scary. You don't know these bitches! No one will ever see you again. (I actually forget that I dress so distinctly sometimes, or rather, that it's not usual, because in my community people don't say much unless I get a new dress or hat or something. But I get so many comments when i travel ahaha) So, if you feel like the look isn't working, that's okay because in some ways, this is not your real life. This won't haunt you or follow you.

So let's say you wore it on vacation, and it was great. Just wear it to one thing. The grocery store. An easy errand. Something like that. You don't have to wear it to work where everyone knows you.

But then you do. Because the more you do it, the more you'll see that there's really nothing to be afraid of. Most of what people will notice and say is complimentary, but even if it isn't. You only get one life. This is it. You can live as the most boring version of yourself, or you can add color and interest and beauty to this world. I will take a thousand sweet lolita and leather daddies over people who don't try at all. I thank God for people who are wear too much makeup and giant painted silk caftans. They are doing the fucking thing!

When I was a little girl, I used to watch old movies, and read old books. All I wanted was to be glamorous and poised, and I used to drape my sheets around myself and imagine going to grand balls. I practiced my fine dining manners in my games, and I studied maps of the world, and I loved to wear blouses and embroidered skirts. In the eyes of my extended family, this was silly. I was putting on airs.

But I am the girl I dreamed of being. I stroll through the airport in high heels and I wear silk blouses and I drink champagne out of crystal glasses and sometimes I wonder, if I had let the fear of being ridiculed override my desire to be exceptional, who would I be? You cannot be an interesting person without doing interesting things, without doing things that other people don't. I can only imagine that ten year old Doc would see me strolling along, and gasp. And that is a good feeling.

Here is your sign. Try. It's always better to try and fail than it is to be stuck in mediocrity for the rest of your life. Tuck in your shirt. Buy the belt. Try going a week without wearing black. Without wearing a t-shirt. Expand your world, and expand the pleasure you bring to others simply by existing. It's worth a try! You are worth making an effort for.

*There ain't much left, to be quite honest, but still, it can happen.

#Make An Effort #Eight Days 2024

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theloveoffootball10 · 2 days ago

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sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ- ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ɴ ɪ ɴ ᴇ

s e r i e s m a s t e r l i s t / c o m p l e t e m a s t e r l i s t

ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ɴ ɪ ɴ ᴇ

The last few months have been crazy. I'm currently stood in the kitchen of Lando's Monaco apartment waiting for him to get home from China after the first two races of the season, both of which have ended in him on the podium giving him a better start to the season than last year.

Since Lando gave me a key to his place I've found myself spending more and more time here. I only really go back to England to see family and friends if Lando's going to be away for a few weeks or if I have to be in the office for whatever reason. I've found myself wanting to be here in Monaco waiting for him when he gets back from races, I don't want him to come back to an empty apartment.

Knowing the state Lando would get himself into last year I like to be here for him whenever he might need me. I've learned over time to read his behaviour and have an idea of what to expect after each session on the sim or in the car. It's crazy to think this time last year I never would have imagined I'd be stood here practically living in Monaco with a boyfriend who means everything to me.

"Hi baby" hearing Lando walk through the door I take one look at him and can tell he's exhausted.

"Hey. How you feeling?"

"Good but ready to sleep" Lando says pulling me into his arms. It's so nice to have the familiar feeling of being in his arms back after a long two long weeks without him. The time difference has made it harder to speak to each other but we've made it work "I missed you"

"I missed you too. It's been quiet without you. Why don't you go and chill, I'll make us something to eat"

"Thank you. You're the best baby" as Lando pulls away he kisses the top of my head and I leave him to do what he needs to while I throw together a quick spaghetti carbonara. He's probably too exhausted to eat but at least it's there when he wants it "baby have you seen this new trend of me on TikTok?"

"You need to be more specific Lando. There's a lot of things going around TikTok of you" I say sticking my head in the living room to see what Lando is talking about.

"There's pictures of me and all it says is 'five minutes and a hair tie' they're all good photos of me to be fair" rolling my eyes I lean over the back of the sofa so I can look over Lando's shoulder at the videos he's talking about.

"They're all amateurs. I don't need five minutes or a hair bobble when I've got your hands pulling my hair into a ponytail"

"Fucking hell Lu you can't say stuff like that after two weeks without you"

"I'm just saying babe. Your girlfriend knows what's she doing. I won't be too much longer, this carbonara won't cook itself" standing up I walk back into the kitchen leaving Lando to ponder over what I've said.

"I just couldn't stay away after what you said" feeling Lando behind me within minutes of me leaving him in the living room he steps closer, his hands landing on my hips, pulling me against him.

His lips hover over my neck, teasing but not quite touching. Each time he exhales on it sends shivers down my spine. His hand slowly slides up my back, his fingers grazing my skin, making my whole body tingle, I can't help but let out a low groan.

Lando's grip tightens as he turns me around in his arms, his lips crashing against mine, the tension of the moment releasing all at once cementing just how much I've missed his physical touch over the last two weeks. Our kiss is urgent, we're like starved animals.

The feeling of being back together has awakened something new in him. I tangle my fingers in Lando's curls as my back hits the edge of the kitchen bench, I am physically aching for any kind of touch.

"You drive me insane Lucía" His voice is low as he pulls back, watching my every move his eyes darken with lust.

"So do what you want with me. I'm yours Lando"

As the words leave my lips, Lando's hands slip under his hoodie that I'm wearing, his rough fingertips sending a waves of heat across my skin. My body responds on its own accord, as I find myself turned in Lando's arms and my body bent over onto the kitchen bench.

Every kiss, every touch, the anticipation of Lando's next move makes my body ache with need as I feel my clothes being removed from my body. His lips move down my neck and across my shoulder, while his hands roam along my thighs.

I can't see what Lando is doing but I can tell he's fumbling with his joggers to get them off and eventually he does. I bite my lip as I feel my underwear being moved to one side giving Lando access to exactly where I want him.

"I need you badly Lucía. You're absolutely perfect" leaning into Lando's body I feel how hard he is against my wetness "you're so wet baby. Just for me. Is this how much you missed me?"

"Lando please" I'm aware how desperate I sound but I just need him to fuck me hard. He continues teasing me, frustrating me even more before finally giving me what I want. What I've been craving.

I don't attempt to hold back my moans. My body reacts to every movement as Lando fills me. It's like he was made for me, we fit together perfectly. His movements are deliberate and slow, I know he's holding back wanting this to last but I need him to let go.

"You feel so good baby"

I want nothing more than to dig my nails into Lando's back but my current position doesn't allow for that. My hands are flat on the bench desperate for something to grab onto and I pull the closest thing to me into my hands which just happens to be a tea towel.

Trying to match Lando's speed with my hips I feel the tension in my body building. I know I won't last much longer, every touch is bringing me closer to the peak of the much needed climax. My back arches as Lando pulls my body up by my hair causing me to scream out his name in pleasure as he thrusts deeper keeping the same rhythm going.

Hearing Lando's moans so close to my ear as he lets himself go is enough to send me over the edge. I've never been one to find it attractive when a man lets out moans of pleasure but there's something about the sounds that come from Lando that are like music to my ears. Letting myself go limp I lean against the kitchen bench supported by Lando as we both regain our composure.

"I love you so much my girl. You're perfect" his voice is soft as he pulls me into his arms placing a soft kiss to the top of my head "you're the one for me" Still basking in the afterglow, there are only three little words that need to come out of my mouth.

"I love you" wrapping my arms around Lando's neck I pull him into my arms. He might be taller than me but I love holding him in my arms.

"I think we might need to order food in. I can't cook but even I know that carbonara looks ruined" as we both get dressed I take one look at the pan on the hob and know there's no fixing it.

"Yeah we're definitely ordering in. I have a question" I say as I start clearing away the ruined food.

"What is it?" Lando asks and I can tell he's confused.

"After all of the months I've been coming to see you at home, why is today the first time you've bent me over the kitchen bench like that?"

"I have no idea but I can tell you now that's not going to be the last time because that was fucking incredible"

"I hoped you'd say that" seeing my phone start ringing next to me I see a FaceTime call from Liv "hold on it's Liv. Hiya!"

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm good. You look amazing by the way! This whole being pregnant thing has suited you so much!" I don't think I've ever seen Liv glow this much before.

"Thank you. Is Lando home?" Liv asks and I see Max join her on the sofa.

"Look at his face! He's just had sex!" Max shouts as Lando comes into view on the camera next to me "that man is always exhausted when he comes home from a long haul flight, there's no way he'd usually still be awake let alone smiling!"

"All I'm saying is that it's been a long two weeks" Lando says with a shrug as he rests his arm around my shoulder.

"My innocent ears!" Liv practically screams at us unable to hold back her laugh "anyway we've got something to show you both, I had to wait until I knew Lando was home to ring you"

"What is it?" I ask confused what Liv needs to show me from her sofa for Lando to have to be here as well. As the camera is flipped I'm met with the sleeping face of a newborn baby. Liv and Max's baby. I let out the most high pitched screech in shock that my best friend actually has her baby in her arms "Oh my god! What the actual fuck! Oh my god"

"You two kept that quiet! Congratulations to you both and congrats on leaving Lu speechless" Lando says looking at the baby on the screen in front of us.

"I can't believe he's here! I'm so happy" feeling the tears roll down my cheeks I can't believe the happiness I feel for Liv and Max.

"Lucía don't cry or you'll set me off!" Liv warns through the phone. I have to get home to see her.

"I'm just so happy Liv" feeling Lando pull me into his arms I try to stop myself crying "does he have a name?"

"Yeah he does, meet your nephew Rafe Bradley Fewtrell" Liv says as she rests baby Rafe on her chest to snuggle him in. All I can say is that she looks content, there's no other way to describe it "he was born early yesterday morning but we wanted to tell you both together when we knew Lando would be home"

"Thank you. I'm pleased you've told us together because now I'm just going to cry at Lando about how perfect he is. I'm going to come home and see you both is that okay?" I ask not wanting to intrude when there's a newborn involved.

"Lucía you're welcome any time. If you'd both been home I would've had you visiting us in hospital or I would've at least invited you over when we got home. You're my sister, I'd let you visit anytime, no invite required" as we end the call I promise to get home in the next few days to see Liv and so Lando can see Max. I've never wanted to get to England so quickly.

"Lando..."

"I'm already on it. We can fly tomorrow afternoon" Lando says cutting me off knowing exactly what I'm going to ask. This is why he's so perfect, he can read me without me having to say anything.

The next day we arrive at Liv's house straight from the airport. I don't want to hang around, I need to see Liv to make sure she's okay and to meet baby Rafe.

"Hiya!" I say walking into the house knowing exactly where I'll find Liv. We have the kind of relationship where we don't have to knock when we get to each other's house, it's practically a home from home for both of us I think she'd be offended if I knocked. "Hi Max. I know I've made this all about Liv and Rafe but I'm happy for you. You'll be a good dad" I say hugging Max as I see him sat on the sofa.

"I appreciate that but I get it. Your friendship with Liv is special" Max stands up to greet Lando and I leave them to it as I sit next to Liv cuddling her.

"I'm so proud of you Liv. I don't think words will ever be enough. You're going to be such a good mum and Rafe is going to be so loved"

"Love you Luc" as Liv rests her head on my shoulder I listen as she tells the story of Rafe's birth and how her world instantly changed the second he was in her arms "you can hold him you know. I can't be bothered to stand up but you're more than welcome to get him out of the crib for a cuddle. I know you're desperate to"

"I am but I'm also here for you. You're my best friend and my priority was talking to you first" standing up I look into the crib where Rafe is swaddled in a blanket. He's truly beautiful, I know everyone says baby's are cute but he genuinely is the cutest baby I've ever seen. Taking him in my arms I feel an instant rush of love. It's like something clicks in my brain and I know I'll love this little boy like he's my own and I'll do anything to protect him.

"It suits you having a baby. I don't think it'll be long until you two have one of your own"

"Maybe one day but we're too selfish right now. We're just enjoying each other and honestly? I don't want to share him" I feel like because of the time Lando and I spend apart, I have to appreciate every second I get with him and selfish as it may be I want them moments to myself for as long as I can.

"Right Lu, I love you baby but it's uncle Lando's turn for a cuddle" Lando says walking into the living room with Max trailing behind. I try to huff and protest as Lando takes Rafe from me not wanting to let him go but it doesn't work.

"Luc will you help me get ready? I fancy going for a walk. I'm sick of being inside after spending all weekend in hospital" agreeing to help Liv we make our way to her bedroom where I French plait her hair and do her make up. She's capable of doing it herself but there's something about having it done for you that makes life easier.

"I'm not going to lie Liv seeing Lando holding Rafe has made me feel so broody"

"Why do you think I said it won't be long until it's you two with a baby. Honestly I thought I loved Max until I saw Rafe in his arms for the first time. That's a whole new level of love that hits like a ton of bricks" listening to Liv talking about Max I don't actually think I could love Lando any more than I do without combusting.

"I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not yet. We've already said we're both not ready and want to wait a few years and I'm happy with that. I'll just enjoy being an auntie first" my relationship with Lando may have taken off quicker than a formula one car in pole position but I'm happy with where we are now. We're in love and we're happy that's all that matters.

esmelucia

Liked by maxfewtrell, livdavies and 43,198 others

esmelucia we take aunite and uncle duties very seriously landonorris. Rafe Bradley Fewtrell you're my favourite human, I will love and protect you always 👶🏻 🩵

View all 9163 comments

user43 you and Lando would have the cutest family

↪️ landonorris she'd be the biggest milf 🔥

livdavies thank you so much for today, we appreciate you so much! Rafe loves his auntie Lucía and uncle Lando 🤍

↪️ esmelucia we're here for you any time! We love him so much 🥹

user747 omg stop! uncle Lando and auntie Lucía are real!

user547 this is the best news! Imagine baby having Max’s curls!

user638 you two should definitely have a baby so it can be best friends with Rafe!

↪️ esmelucia maybe one day if that's what the universe has planned for us.

• • •

This hasn’t been proofread so there’s probably typos galore (I’ll check tomorrow night) but there’s probably only one part of this story left (😭) however my new story should be up at some point this weekend, either tomorrow or Saturday. Most likely Saturday to be completely honest .

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