#see i can post other things than Masquerade once in awhile

[gith-zeri]

Since my table's Cyberpunk RED game is gonna be on hiatus for the foreseeable future(burnout). I thought it would be a good time to finally re-stud that battle jack I've put on the back burner. Thankfully, the fabric I used held well, but I might sand away the lettering; I'm not feeling it.

Used Rogue's emblem for the back.

Bonus:

My baby can glow!

[raspberriesandadventures]

Could you do my hc request for meeting each La Squadra member during a masquerade banquet (with some tension)? Kind of like running into each other after not seeing each other for awhile, but you’ve heard about how powerful the other is?

I love your posts! Cheers!

Hey! Thank you so much for your request! I really liked the idea though I went with a more 'first meeting after hearing a lot about one another' so I really hope you don't mind that! Please enjoy and I hope you have a brilliant day!

(You can click on their names to see the types of mask I think they would choose).

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

La Squadra Meeting Reader At A Masquerade

Risotto

It would be impossible to miss Risotto. Not even the largest, most elaborate crowd could conceal him. He’s simply recognisable.

His choice of outfit is likely to be of a classic sort – black and white in complimentary contrast that make his eyes appear to glow beneath his mask.

He’s unlikely to approach you first, preferring to watch and observe the source of any overheard rumours. He becomes uneasy when you return the favour.

Once you’ve introduced yourself, he’ll remain stoic, if a little more at ease with your presence at his side. He doesn’t make conversation but he listens well.

He has much to do at Passione events, even if he doesn’t particularly want to. You are a welcome reprieve from the more tiresome conversations of the night.

Formaggio

If he wanted to, it’s likely that Formaggio could easily fit in with various groups. His casual, social nature grants him this benefit.

His clothing selection makes it clear that such a thing is not his goal. Garish red is not frequently overlooked.

He suspects your identity when you walk in, though he will remain unsure until he makes casual conversation at your side and confirms his thoughts.

His proper introduction will come soon after speaking to you and he’ll hide his surprise at you knowing of him. His team’s comments do affect him.

At an event such as this, he’ll often only speak to a small group, moving between them throughout the night to check up on how they are.

Illuso

Unfond of large social events, Illuso will remain at the far side of the room remaining invisible through this method instead of through pretense.

The blue and white of his chosen outfit remain simple though with his hair down, he appears to be a different person.

It takes him very little time to spot you though he will have no interest in creating conversation. He already knows more than you think.

If you engage him, offering an introduction and a comment on what you’ve heard, you’ll make his pride sing. It’s quite simple to get him to speak to you.

He plays his cards close to his chest with any first meeting but if you keep sharing stories about him, he may open up a little more during the event.

Prosciutto

Few alive can blend into an environment as well as Prosciutto can – with and without the use of his stand. It’s a talent he’s particularly proud of.

His choice of outfit is the furthest thing from obnoxious. An expensive hue of white with the slightest hints of gold to catch the eye.

He speaks to you for half the night before you even realise it’s him though he already knew exactly who you were.

After proper introductions, he’ll entertain you for a short part of the night before breaking away. He refuses to seem anything other than unattached.

He’ll dance with you if you ask him to. Self-taught, he’s incredibly proud of his skills in this field and will easily lead you through any ballroom dance.

Pesci

Pesci, rather unfortunately for his job, is very unlikely to be able to disappear into any group. His features make him recognisable.

His outfit is plain, chosen for its lack of bluntness and the soothing nature of seafoam green. He favours subtle detailing over bright colour.

It’s easy for him to become overwhelmed and he won’t recognise you at first. An off-handed comment will need to help him.

He’s happy to have the opportunity to introduce himself formally and mention all the things he’s heard about you, surprised when you mention that you’ve heard of him.

If you want to stand and speak to him for the entire night, he’ll proudly entertain you with conversation on almost anything.

Melone

It’s surprisingly simple to overlook Melone. He slips by without notice, simply observing rather than speaking.

His dark outfit is accentuated by a deep purple embroidery and it stands out due to the gorgeous motifs decorating his waist.

He doesn’t recognise you though it’s not for ignorance but rather a lack of interest in speaking to you. He’s heard things but that doesn’t mean much.

When you introduce yourself first though, speaking to him confidently, he becomes intrigued and will entertain you.

If he gets along well with you, compliments will filter into his statements and a light touch on your arm keeps your attention with him for the rest of the evening.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio wouldn’t want to fit in with large groups, even if it was something he could do. His brazen features (and personality) make it a difficult endeavor.

The outfit he wears is carefully selected and the sharp silver and white compliments him exceedingly well. He dedicates himself to finding a proper look.

It takes him a while to recognise you. He becomes wrapped up in everything going on and misses smaller hints.

Your introduction will catch him off guard. His first instinct is to deny that he’s heard of you before and attempt to ignore you.

If you share some conversation and appear receptive to his discussions, he’ll latch onto you and speak to nobody else for the rest of the night.

Sorbet

Unlike many of his teammates, Sorbet appreciates the freedom offered by being unknown during these events.

His flare for the dramatic remains strong despite his claims. His outfit is fully black and yet the exquisite embroidery would take hours to truly appreciate.

Though he would be quick to see you, he’s unlikely to speak to you at all for the majority of the party. He refuses to seem interested.

When you introduce yourself, it’s easy for him to forget his stance. He’s intrigued by what he’s heard and you’re offering an opportunity.

Gelato may whisper a secret into your ear, should he decide he trusts you. His partner can never say no to an invitation to dance.

Gelato

When it’s needed, Gelato can act well enough to turn unrecognizable when surrounded by people.

The deep gold of his outfit, lined with an ebony black, dominates much of his personality – its brightness shielding his true emotions.

He meets your eyes the moment you walk in, a casual grin already on his lips as he waves in greeting.

When he introduces himself, it will be at the end of the night and he won’t share his name. If you don’t already know it, then you don’t need to.

He flits around to everybody, never stopping as he speaks to every person he can see, but he finds himself at your side frequently.

[jenomark]

➔Pairing: Camboy!Haechan x Reader (Female) ➔Other Members/ Characters: Renjun + Jeno + Jaemin ➔Genre: Smut ➔Warnings: Penetration (F) | Masturbation (M) | Oral (F+M) | Voyeurism | Sex with animal masquerade-like masks (foxes) ➔Word count: 4,069

➔Summary: You’re going to fuck popular CamBoy! Haechan for the very first time. Will your nerves get the best of you? 

  The mask he wore protecting his identity looked like a fox face. White and glittery, with ears and a small nose, it hid half of his handsome face. It sat flush against his cheek, not even sweat daring to move it. He had worn it many times, and each time, you would count the crystals adorning the mask.

  You observed his shirtless body from across the room with interest. His body was lightly toned, the little moles on his stomach making you want to connect the dots with your tongue. He wore belted suit paints and nothing else. Even half-dressed, he looked more put together than you ever would.

“Can I get you anything else?” he asked.

  You had never worked with him before. As far as you could tell, he was a true professional. When you arrived, he asked if you had eaten. He gave you a drink before you could decline, and when you asked him where the bathroom was, he guided you with his hand hovering over your back. Easy on the eyes and a voice so silky soft, it was hard not to fall for his charm.  

“I don’t think so,” you said. “I’m pretty satisfied.” 

  You looked down at your white silk lingerie. Having watched his work before, you purposely purchased it to match his mask. You looked innocent, maybe a little naive while wearing it. It was the opposite of how you were feeling, as you devoured him with your eyes. You had been in the sex industry for awhile, so you were well aware of the rules, and how not to break them. You were polite and engaging, respectful and eager to learn, but you really wanted to have him.

“We can start in a few minutes, if you like?” he asked.

You nodded. “Sounds good.”

  Around the room were cameras facing a lone bed that sat in the middle of the floor. Studio lights lit up the space, with fairy lights hanging from the ceiling to soften the mood when the need called for it. Various chains hung from the headboard. There was a chest of toys by the side of the bed. He worked frequently in that very room. You knew because you had watched his cam to learn what he liked. You would log on anonymously, at first. Once a healthy repertoire was built between you, you came out of your shell. He asked if you would like to work with him, and you jumped at the chance. You enjoyed sex work, but you only agreed because you had a small crush on him. 

“Haechan?” you asked, jumping up from your seat. “I forgot. Are we having sex with the condom, or without? I’m okay with either. I’ve been tested, and I’m on contraceptives.”

  Haechan was buttoning up his suit shirt, the small white buttons slipping from his fingertips. He licked the corner of his mouth, as he was thinking. You knew he was also regularly tested. He had to in order to continue fucking all of his girls. Suddenly, and you didn’t know why, you began to feel nervous. You pulled down the lingerie so it covered your thong. Your cleavage was made obvious, but the gentleman in Haechan did not look. You were afraid he wouldn’t like you as well as he liked the others, afraid that you didn’t check all of the boxes. 

“We can see where the mood takes us?” he suggested.

“Alright,” you said. “I’m okay with that.” 

  You sat back down and watched him finish getting ready. You began to feel a little like an amateur, and cursed yourself that it was so easy to feel anxious around him. He really was so handsome. The suit he wore was tailored to his body perfectly, and the way the pants hugged his ass made you crane your neck to get a better look.

“You’re tense.” he said.

“What? I am?”

  He crossed the room and took a seat next to you, his thigh touching yours. When you worked with other men, they didn’t bother talking to you until the cameras were rolling. With Haechan, since you had walked through his door, he had done nothing but make you feel comfortable.

“Are you okay with shooting today?” he asked.

“I am,” you said. “Do I not look okay?”

  He smiled, bringing out the boyish appeal that raked him in lots of money. For a brief second, he removed the mask so you could see his face. His eyes were soft and kind, his cheeks full and fed. He tried joking with you to loosen you up, but every time he nudged you, you could feel your timidness returning. Haechan took your hand and held it, rubbing his thumb over the back of it to soothe you.

“Is it me? Are you nervous because of me?” he asked. He gestured to everything in the room with a wave of his hand. “Does all of this scare you?”

  You were going to lie through your teeth, but you didn’t want to do that to him. Instead, you nodded and told him it was because you found him so irresistible. You didn’t know if you could compare to the women he’d been with previously. You riddled him with compliments about how sexy he was, and how each woman he was with left the room feeling changed.

“You give me too much credit,” he said. “They leave me just as breathless. I’ve seen your work and-”

“-you have?” you interrupted, unable to keep the surprise from your voice.

  Haechan touched his fingers to your chin. You felt lost in his eyes. When he leaned in close to kiss you, you felt like you were being hypnotized. His lips were soft, and you never wanted to stop kissing them. He pulled away before you could slip your tongue inside of his mouth. 

“I promise you,” Haechan began. “I want to fuck you as much as you want to fuck me.”

   A lot went into being a successful cam boy. Your set-up was small and intimate. You often did solo cams where you masturbated with toys. Sometimes, you did non-sexual things for money. It was always different, but it always had the same chill vibe.  It was always just you, a camera, and your legs spread wide. But Haechan put all of your work to shame. After the third person came in and out of the room to check something, you realized they were there to stay. 

“What do you think?” he asked. “Do you like it?”

“I like it,” you said. “It’s interesting. It looks like a lot of work.” 

  While talking about the details of the set-up, three people came over that Haechan wanted to introduce to you. You had seen Jaemin around at different parties, but meeting him while you were half-naked made you feel shy. You shook hands with him and greeted him, careful to avoid a lot of eye contact. 

“And this is Jeno,” Haechan said, pointing at his handsome friend. “And lastly, Renjun. All three of them help me make this what it is. They stay in the room while we perform, but if you’re not comfortable, I will ask them to look away.”

“Will they be on camera?” you asked. “Can the viewers see them?”

“Absolutely not.” Jaemin said. 

Renjun laughed. “No one wants to see my body.”

You looked at Renjun and winked. “I wouldn’t mind seeing your body. “

  Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin laughed when Renjun became flustered. The mood was lightened a little bit, and after that, you didn’t mind so much that they were in the room with you. 

  You looked around, while the rest of the set-up was being finished, placing your wrist in and out of a pair of handcuffs, and not caring if your ass was hanging out of the lingerie.

“Are you ready?” Haechan asked, touching your elbow.

“Yes.”

  From beside him, Haechan pulled his arm up to reveal another fox mask in the color blue. It was prettier, the crystals shining more brightly. He fixed it to your face, taking extra care not to mess up your make-up or hair. When he was done, the kiss he left on your lips was faint. Your nerves seemed to dissipate even more with the attention Haechan paid to you, but it still wasn’t enough. You were feeling like something wasn’t quite complete.

“Wait,” you said. “Can I do something first?”

  Curious, Haechan nodded. You went over to Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun who were standing in the corner of the room, each boy at their respective post. Everything had been set up, and there was little need for them to observe the scene in its entirety.  You grabbed blindfolds from a nearby table and tied them around each boy's eyes so that they couldn’t see. Jeno licked his lips in anticipation, Jaemin instinctively reached out in front of him, and Renjun smiled mischievously, which was more than you thought he would do. When you were done, each of them looked to where they thought you were.

“You can hear,” you said. “But you don’t get to see. You can only take the blindfold off when you’re turned on.”

  You backed away until you were in Haechan’s arms. He came behind you and hugged you, his arms around your neck. You were scared that your plan would backfire, that each boy wouldn’t be able to do their job without being able to see, or that none of them would remove the blindfold. When Renjun reached for the camera button with ease, you knew things would be just fine.

“Going live on air in three counts,” Renjun said. “One-”

  Jeno double checked the lights, calling out to Haechan for approval. Jaemin checked the audio, and gave a thumbs up when he realized the sound worked fine.

“-Two”

  Before Renjun said three, Haechan spun you around and looked into your eyes. “Trust me,” he said. “And I’ll trust you.”

“-Three.”

  Just like that, you were live, and hundreds of people were watching you. As soon as Renjun said the word, Haechan had snapped into his role. There were no more kind eyes, no more soft touches. He pushed you back onto the bed. You fell hard and crawled backwards as he crawled forward on his knees, his fox mask bearing down on you. His shirt buttons were popping open from the strain of his chest, little keyholes revealing his skin. Haechan caught your left wrist in his hands, as you tried to get away, and took the soft cuffs, restraining you against the headboard. You reached out and touched the right cuff, pulling yourself up into a sitting position. Haechan cocked his head, his fox nose pointing in another direction.

  Instead of speaking, he stood up on the bed, bending his knees so his crotch was level with your face. He unzipped and unbelted his suit pants, taking his soft cock out of his pants. You made eye contact with his member, your eyes hungrily taking him in. With your free hand, you reached out to rouse him, but Haechan restrained you. You made eye contact with him before facing his twitching cock slowly coming to life. You had seen it on camera many times, but up close, it was so pretty it made your mouth water. Haechan took a handful of your hair and yanked your head back, the pain from your scalp making you yelp. He moved forward and put his balls near your lips. You opened your mouth and sucked them gently, rolling your tongue around the delicate skin. All you could see was the darkness of his cock resting on top of your fox mask and messing up your vision. Before you were done pleasuring him, Haechan took his balls out of your mouth. His cock was half-hard, the tip staring you down. He rested his cock head against your bottom lip, but as you opened your mouth to lick him, he pulled himself away.

 The torture of watching Haechan zip his cock away made you pull against the restraints. You could feel how badly your body wanted him. Your nipples were hard, your pussy throbbing, and your toes were curling with the foreseeable future of finally getting to use his cock. 

“What should I do next?” Haechan asked, making his voice a little deeper than it naturally was. “Should I finger you? Work you up until you’re finally ready to orgasm, and then take it away? Should I leave love bites all over your body? Tear that pretty lingerie and masturbate over your chest? There are so many options.”

“All of the above.” you said, your own voice sounding unfamiliar. 

  Haechan pushed himself swiftly off the bed. He went to the camera and looked into it, a smile on his face. Since Renjun couldn’t see, Haechan angled the camera himself. The puckered kiss he gave the viewers was felt all over your body. When he came back over, he grabbed your left ankle and yanked your body until you were laying down fully, your feet nearing the edge of the bed. He used restraints on you so that you were spread across its face and fully restrained on all four corners. The silky white triangle that protected your modesty was seen as your lingerie lifted to reveal your bare stomach and the hickey that was already there.

“Who did this?” Haechan asked. 

  He touched his fingers over the fading purple mark. Your skin tingled, and you squirmed away from his touch. You tried clamping your legs shut, but the restraints made it so you couldn’t even lift up your legs from the bed. Haechan had you exactly where he could do anything to you. 

“Not you.” you said.

  Haechan let his fingers linger before hooking them underneath the triangle fabric and peering inside. You were freshly waxed, and as he pushed the back of his fingers against you to spread your lips, you were very wet. 

“Mmm,” Haechan moaned. “Watch your mouth.”

  He took his hand out of your thong from that angle and moved them to the side to reveal your whole pussy. You were aware of the hot lights and how they made your skin glisten with sweat. Being vulnerable made you feel so sensitive to his touch. Just a slight brush against your clit wouldn’t normally make you shudder, but you couldn’t stop it before it happened. He liked the way you jerked. It brought a smile to his lips, his fox mask seeming just as sly. 

“Do you like this?” he asked.

  His fingers were inside of you, pushing into you, again and again. You squeezed the restraints and raised your hips as much as they would allow. You wanted to move yourself down, to fuck yourself on his fingers, but every time you tried, he pulled back. Haechan got as much of your juices as he could on his fingers before bringing them to your lips. You sucked on his fingers with the same kind of ferocity as when you had his balls on your tongue.

“I like it.” he said.

  Leaning over, he swirled his tongue over you and kissed your clit. His fingers found their way inside you once more, but they didn’t let up. He fingered you, his eyes watching as your body misbehaved. He had no plans on being lenient. He fucked you with them, crooking his fingers to get at your g-spot, alternating between coming out to rub your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. Every time you felt like you would orgasm, he stopped and looked off camera like he was bored. He took a vibrator from the chest, but the feeling of him pressing it against you and then lessening the pressure drove you crazy.

“Please.” you begged. You didn’t like the way your clit pulsated when he wasn’t touching you. You needed to feel his rough fingertips on you again, needed him to finish the job.

“Please what?” he asked.

  He went in on you again, one hand inside of you, and one hand holding the vibrator to your clit full-on. Your legs were shaking, your body nearly convulsing. You held your head back and moaned, hoping the sound wouldn’t be too loud on the viewers end. After everything, you felt yourself squirt, bursting like a water balloon.

“Wow,” Haechan said. “First time I had that happen.”

  He looked down at his soaked hand and felt pleased with himself. You, on the other hand, felt embarrassed. Before you could wallow in the feeling, he cleaned you both up and stripped the sheets from underneath you. The move was sexy and swift.

“How about I give you a little break.” Haechan said, his voice getting softer.

  He climbed onto the bed and took off the restraints around your ankles. He rubbed the marks they left behind. Your first instinct was to close your legs, but he moved between them to kiss your thighs. He threw your calves over his shoulders and kissed all around your pussy, his supple lips barely wet and avoiding your delicate clit. He used his hands to hold your waist in place while he moved up your stomach to kiss you, the fox mask scratching against your skin. The higher he went, the rougher his mouth got. He pulled the lingerie up your body until your breasts were revealed. You watched him leave hickeys on your skin, the marks taking awhile to show, but his ambition never letting up.

“Darker,” you said. “I want to see them for a long time.”

  His eyes were focused, his body moving up yours to give you your wish. You could feel his hard cock against your thigh at the same time his lips were on your neck. You couldn’t see them, but you knew he was leaving little marks all over you. You looked to the side to watch Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun. You had forgotten they were there. Jeno was looking in your direction intently, his blindfold still in place, and his hands in his lap. Jaemin was sitting down and fidgeting with the sound, his back straight and tense. Renjun’s blindfold was on the floor, his cock in his hand. He watched you watching him fuck his fist, and he didn’t care.

“Next,” you said. “Masturbate for me, Haechan. I want to feel your cum on me.”

  Haechan lifted his head up. Your face was burning where the fox mask had scratched against it. Haechan noticed and gave you sweet kisses before kissing your mouth. He finally gave you his tongue, the saltiness from your sweaty body the main flavor. He got up off the bed and walked around the room to rev himself up. He looked into the camera and suggestively licked his fingers clean. Next, the suit jacket came off because he was hot and his back was sweaty. He unbuttoned what buttons were still together, and let his chest free. He looked different than the man who met with you earlier.

“I’m waiting.” you said.

“That mouth,” Haechan laughed. “Will get you into trouble.”

  He crawled back onto the bed on his knees and made his way over to you. He touched the silk of your lingerie gently before bunching it in his fists and tearing it open, straight down the middle. His cock was in his hands, and he was rock hard as he stroked himself, his adrenaline pumping through his veins.

“Come on,” you said. “Hurry up. I’m impatient.”

  You urging him to move faster made him stroke himself lightning fast, like he would do if he were alone and in need of a quickie. Haechan only slowed down the stroke to throw his leg over you and use your stomach to rub against. He came against your skin, his cum spurting up around your breasts. He came quietly, a few grunts as he did, with his cock still moving against you.

“No condom,” you said. “Fuck me now, Haechan.”

  Your legs were glued together, underneath his body. As he was straddling you, he only had to move back a little bit. You knew he would be ready. You had watched him before and knew he didn’t need much time to recover. Haechan ripped the string of the thong and pushed the fabric out of the way. Since your pussy was closed tight, it was difficult for him to push himself inside of you, but when he did, the feeling was much different than what you were used to. He fucked you with your legs closed, the friction of your thick thighs squeezing his shaft and making him roll his eyes back. You let him do what he wanted to do to your body because you couldn’t touch him, but you were driven by the prospect of getting to fuck him the way you wanted to. You came first, your pussy already so sensitive. 

“Your turn,” you said. “Don’t you want to come inside of me? Keep thrusting, baby, keep going.”

  Haechan kept thrusting for a few moments before shucking off his shirt and shifting positions. Your legs were open and free, but he wasn’t done with you. With his cock still in you, he sat back on his knees and lifted your body up until your back was arched and you were in mid-air. He held you from underneath as he kept fucking you, bouncing your body on his cock. When he came, he slowed down, easing you back down onto the bed.

“Now,” Haechan said, trying to collect his breath. “We have fun.”

  He let you out of your restraints. You launched yourself at him, and he caught you, laughing as you tackled him. You could feel your fox mask slipping off so you just removed it and threw it across the room. The look in your eyes must have looked feral. Haechan’s eyes widened in shock before he ditched his own mask, his look matching yours.

“No. Now, they can see how pretty your face looks when you come.” you said.

  Your lips were wrapped around his cock. You were sucking him with two thoughts in your mind: You wanted to get him back for overstimulating you, and you wanted to suck him dry. Every time you went up,  you took him out of your mouth and waited five seconds. The count was agonizingly slow. Haechan was moaning and breathing heavily, but he let you take it out on him as much as you wanted. It took him a long time to come a third time, since his body was so spent. You sucked him, not really caring if you had the privilege of swallowing him or not. You only wanted to make him feel good, to give him your hands and mouth like he gave you his.

“Can you handle it?” you asked, smirking that you had to ask.

  Briefly, you could see the real Haechan peering up at you with admiration. He smiled and touched his hand down the front of your body before helping his cock inside of you. You rode him, taking the time to look back at the camera as you did. You felt liberated riding him, felt the way all attention was on your body as you took his cock. All four boys had their eyes on you, waiting, watching. The blindfolds were all ditched, and so were the nerves. You turned around to ride Haechan in reverse, leaning down to hold his ankles so he would get a good view of your ass, and you could get a better view of Renjun coming all over his knuckles. You were hoping the viewers would get a good look at the way Haechan’s cock disappeared inside of you, or at all of the marks he had left on your skin.

“One last time.” Haechan said. 

  For the last position, Haechan had you on your knees so that he could fuck you from behind. You were having a hard time holding yourself up, but you moved back to meet his cock without complaint. You rested your head down, crossed your arms and placed your chin on top of them. Haechan grabbed your ass and drilled himself inside of you, the feeling deep and full. Before he was getting ready to come, you looked into the camera lens and grinned.

[astrognossienne]

birthdays: 4 - the unabashed social climber

My dabbling in birthday numerology has resulted in a ridiculously viral and classic post on my tumblr that goes through all the birthdays. The total sum of all birthdays essentially adds up to a range of numbers 1-9. In that post, I provided snapshots of the personalities of these birthdays. Now, here, on my website, I shall expound further as to why I came to these conclusions. To continue this series, we'll get into my other least favourite birthday number: 4.

4, 13, 22, 31: humanitarians, romantic, penetrating, provocative, faithful, pragmatic, reserved, immature, nakedly ambitious, tries too hard to be omnipotent, controversy always seems to surround them, savage for no reason, prides themselves on being infallible but are utterly fallible, know-it-alls, critical, anxious, smart-mouthed yet very sensitive (almost too much so), proud, tries hard to be individualistic but in reality is just like everyone else, very shady, can be and is often very disrespectful, patronizing and egotistical, needs their ass kissed, due to their vast insecurity and inherent inadequacy they have a need to conquer others and if they can’t do so then they will try very hard to destroy them, wayyy too sensitive and resorts to being caustic and abusive when they’re hurt (which is all the time), tries too hard to act/look/talk hard, can be tough but sweet, can be quite judgmental, always working, likes to one-up people, needs control and is often very self-controlled, often fake, passive-aggressive, very opportunistic and savvy, great at making friends, very contradictory and hypocritical, often very talented and hardworking, competitive, inspires others, wants to be known as kind and great in everyone’s eyes, almost always supremely unlikable individuals, often downright repulsive, has low self-esteem and projects it on others, often has hidden motives, adroit in using people’s emotions for their own ends

I think I pretty much summed them up there. Those who have these birthdays (especially those born on the 4th and 22nd) are the ones who I'm the most indifferent towards and amused by, but in the interest of fairness, let's dive into the psyche of these people, because if nothing else, they're moderately interesting psychological case studies.

When I think of 4's, I think of the character Eve Harrington in the classic film All About Eve. They're hurt, bitter, broken, miserable insecure bitches and often have low self-esteem and inadequacies within themselves, but they cover it up with false "self-love" and "assertiveness" which is actually condescension, aggressiveness, cockiness, and arrogance. This is evidenced in their unabashed social climbing they do. All social climbing have one thing in common: they seek to increase the social climber status by attacking and taking status away from others. They revel in this, since in their mind it secures their power over others, which is very important to them. They're often sad cases with attitude problems. They can’t, or don’t know how to reconcile their pain in a healthy way, so they direct it back out in mean, cruel, and insensitive ways - hurting others just because they were hurt. This process works only briefly, and usually generates extreme guilt in the person, making them stop for awhile. But, the pain of their past hasn’t been healed, so once again they try to bleed off the pain by hurting someone by being mean or rude. It’s like draining the pressure in a boiler. They know they’re inferior and broken, so they take it out full force on the people they envy and those whose true authentic power that they want. They often say what they don't mean. They're also forces of nature, and they somehow always seem to draw deep emotions out of people, and a lot for people seem to be deeply drawn to them. Fours, in turn, are often drawn by those who know how to control their emotions and make them work for them as well as those who have a deeper well of emotion than they and aren't scared of displaying it.

They have the amusing paradox of being mean AND hypersensitive at the same time, but the key is if one feels that these people are actually worth the time you have to take to get to know them, ignore their natural walls, abnormal need for control, rudeness and meanness, and love them anyway. If one can get through to that hurting part and heal and love it, these individuals can be loyal and even amazing friends for life. (incidentally, it's for this reason that I always seem to see these individuals deeply connected to 2's, 5's and 9's because I think 4's sense in them a kindred spirit, or someone they can use this strange type of "love" on and still feel accepted. But I'll cover those numbers at a later date). It might seem crazy, but a common way these people try and pull their partner/friends close is by expressing anger (of which there is a lot of) and unneeded childish aggression, often ruthlessly attacking perceived weaknesses.  It usually works in the opposite way (unfortunately), but often underneath the anger is a strong plea for connection and love. The anger is a mask of protest about not getting that love. They like to create conflict and are very restless. They’re whiny and their edginess is based on their M.O. that "people want to hurt me; I must hurt them first to be safe". They’re often very petty and very small and are too selfish to show any real compassion for those going through a tough time or a tragedy, often pouring salt on the wound (although strangely enough, they're often touted as paragons of compassion and virtue).

They're not satisfied with the ordinary, and more often than not they do tend to lead extraordinary lives. They have an accessibility and a mystery at the same time. They can be calm and insanely disciplined. But they are also very fiery and passionate, and often make rash and headstrong decisions and can be very immature and insecure about themselves because of the need for balance that the number 4 suggests. They can also (only when seriously evolved) be inspirational, using their talents to move masses of people in a way very few can, such as Barack Obama (August 4), and obnoxious personalities like Beyoncé (September 4), her husband Jay-Z (December 4), and their friend Justin Timberlake (January 31 [another classic case of the low-level 4]). They are victims masquerading as warriors and use their victimhood as a weapon and other opportunistic tactics to cement their power. However, there is a lot of fixed-sign-esque (especially that of a Leonine/Scorpionic nature) ego associated with the number 4, and this requires everyone to bow down and kiss their ass. If the 4 doesn't get this type of treatment, then they'll destroy everything and everyone in their wake to assuage their hurt feelings and damaged ego, such as it is in the case of Meghan Markle (also born on August 4) and what she and her husband Harry are currently doing to the Royal Family.

Meghan tried to gain unconditional and total acceptance from them/England/the world. Since she didn't get it, she and Harry took their ball and went home" by backing out of the Royal Family and the duties associated with it and moving with their children to America, effectively cutting themselves off from Harry's grandmother, brother, and ailing grandfather. Which brings me to another point about 4's: they like to do things on their own terms, often alienating others along the way to satisfy themselves. Now that Meghan has had time to think about the "abuse" that she feels that she has received, she's going to get her ultimate revenge by trying to destroy the Royal Family with allegations of racism and mental/emotional abuse. Note: it wasn't a problem when they were courting, and it wasn't a problem when they got married, but since she didn't get the "kid glove" treatment she wanted, now they're a "racist family". I often wonder, if the firm/tabloids/press went after Princess Diana so brutally, as blonde-haired, blue-eyed and pretty as she was, what did Markle honestly expect? This speaks to the 4s often shocking naivety. Also, Markle kept referring to Kate Middleton in her interview, so that means that she's fixated on Kate as a point of envy. This is how hate and negative emotions will cause things to change and often unnecessarily so.

On the positive side (only when evolved), 4's can be active, hard-working, systematic, diligent, careful, objective, firm, introverted, serious, patient, reserved, thoughtful, sensible, analytic, calm, orderly and loyal. For those born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, and 31st, this describes them in a nutshell.

[sageclover61]

Strawberries in the Morning

@spnonewordbingo

Bingo Square: Flirt

Rating: T

Pairing: Sabriel

Word count: 1,249

Summary: Just a day in the bunker eating breakfast. Domestic Sabriel fluff ensues.

“Something smells delicious,” Sam said as he stepped into the kitchen. “What are you making?”

“Crepes. I wanted to see if they’re really as good as Gabriel says. And before you start whining about how much sugar is in them, you rabbit, there’s a bowl of fresh fruit on the table to put on them.”

Sam walked over to the table and plucked out a blueberry.  He rolled it between two of his fingers and determined that the berry was just the right firmness. He put it in his mouth and let the flavors explode across his tongue. Juice dripped down his chin, but he didn’t move to deal with it.

Before Sam could comment on the fruit itself, Gabriel walked in. “Is that breakfast I smell?” Without waiting for an answer he ignored Dean’s position at the stove in favor of giving Sam a “good morning” kiss, aka lapping softly at the juice running down Sam’s chin and then kissing him on the mouth, tongue exploring the crevices of Sam’s mouth as he followed the sweet taste of blueberry.

Dean glanced at them, but merely rolled his eyes at their antics and returned to pouring crepe batter onto the skillet.

Sam broke the kiss, reaching for an overly ripe strawberry. Juice dripped down his fingers as he stretched to put the piece of fruit in Gabriel’s mouth. He watched Gabriel chew the piece of fruit thoughtfully as he licked his fingers slowly.

Castiel walked in, his attention turning to Dean first. “Why are you making breakfast?” he asked. “Gabriel could have snapped something up.”

“Because I like cooking.” Dean flipped the crepe in the pan over, and determining that it was done, put it atop the other finished crepes on a plate beside the stove. “It’s ready, if you two are done teasing each other. What are you trying to do anyway, it’s just fruit.”

Sam blushed sheepishly, taking a seat in the nearest chair. There were plenty of chairs around the table, but Gabriel climbed into Sam’s lap anyway.

Castiel took a seat on the corner of the table to Sam’s left as Dean brought the plate of crepes to the center of the table, within reach of everyone. He took the seat that was directly opposite of Castiel, to Sam’s right.

Gabriel served both himself and Sam on the same plate. “You can share with me, Sasquatch.” He poured a liberal serving of whip cream and mixed fruit on the fluffy paper thin breakfast and then proceeded to try to eat it with his fingers.

“Fork, Gabriel,” Dean chided gently, holding up his own fork in demonstration and he cut up his his powder sugar laden crepe.

Castiel stared at the crepe on his own plate. “I’m not sure I understand the purpose of this,” he said, brow crinkling with his confusion.

“It’s food Cas, but you can’t just eat it plain old. That’s boring. Do you want syrup or fruit or something on it?”

“Can I put honey on it?”

“Absolutely!” Sam reached for the jar of honey, passing it in Castiel’s direction. His enthusiasm came less from wanting honey on his own crepes and more that an incident was possibly about to be avoided because Castiel would eat almost anything as long as there was honey on it. Who knew that Gabriel wasn’t the only angel with a sweet tooth.

“That kinda defeats the purpose of having other things to put on it, but I guess you like what you like,” Dean said, watching as Castiel saturated the crepe with most of the jar of honey.

Sam wrinkled his nose in distaste at the amount of sweetener Castiel was using, but said nothing as Gabriel broke a piece of crepe off with his fingers and wrapped it around another blueberry before placing it in Sam’s mouth

“Fork!” Dean repeated, rolling his eyes at the archangel’s antics.

Sam chewed, and then kissed at Gabriel’s neck where a speck of whip cream had fallen.

“Do such displays of affection fall under normal early morning behavior for humans?” Castiel asked, abandoning his honey drenched food in favor of watching Sam and Gabriel with curiosity and mild interest.

“Just eat your breakfasts. Gabriel, if you’re going to be a problem, I’m sure you can find another chair that is not my brother.”

“I’m quite happy right here, thank you.” Gabriel shifted, purposefully rubbing certain limbs against certain other places of Sam’s anatomy.

Sam choked on his breakfast. Really, he should have seen that coming. Because Gabriel was always a flirt, and a nuisance, although Sam found that he didn’t really mind all that much about either.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to your brother, Cas. He is a terrible example of humanity”

“Well fuck you too, Deano. I’ve been doing this whole “human thing” since before the founder of your lineage was even thought about being created. So I’d say I know an whole lot more about it than you would.” Gabriel grinned. “He’s the one you shouldn’t be listening to, Cas. This is perfectly normal behavior for romantically attracted humans.”

Dean stuck out his tongue.

“Dean? Can I sit on your lap, too?”

Dean stared at his angel, but the expression adorning Cas’ face was perfectly earnest. If anything, he’d stolen Sam’s patented puppy dog expression, like he really wanted to sit on Dean’s lap. But if anyone knew how to avoid and decline those particular expressions, it was Dean, with his infinite practice. “No, Cas. Eat your breakfast.”

“It just takes like honey and molecules.”

“Then you’re doing it wrong, because everything about it is absolutely delicious!” Gabriel declared, just as he shoveled another wad of crepe (mostly whip cream) in his mouth.

“You’d better not be eating my share too,” Sam chided gently, reaching around Gabriel to grab another strawberry. All in all, it wasn’t that bad of a way to spend a morning. He liked spending quality time with the rest of his family and at least this wasn’t as potentially traumatizing and is could have been and sure, Gabriel was definitely doing a pretty decent job of trying to get him wound up but that was par for the course of dating an archangel. Particularly someone as keen on instant gratification as Gabriel was. But that was probably slightly less archangel and slightly more from masquerading as a pagan god for millenia.

And Sam, of course, had no brain mouth filter. “Gabe, I was wondering, did you really raise an eight legged horse and the Midgard Serpent?”

“Yep! Beautiful children, which I gave birth to myself, might I add. They still send me post cards ever once in awhile. Hela and Fenrir, too.”

“You sired nephilim?!” Castiel exclaimed.

Gabriel tilted his head, almost condescendingly. “So what? It’s not like Dad gives a horse’s shit-”

“Gabriel! You can’t say things like that at breakfast!”

“- About anything at all, and who else is going to give a damn? They’re mine, and I love them, and anyone who says anything bad about them can go fuck themselves with pinecones.”

Dean laughed, and scooped another crepe onto Cas’ plate, before taking a healthy bite from his own plate.

Sam looked adoringly at where his archangel was shoveling his face, and somehow managing to look good while doing so, with whipped cream, and felt a smile creep over his face.

Gabe spotted him, and gave him a big cheesy(whipped creamy, but ehh) grin.

Life was good.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Help I’m being harassed by the #1 sexeist man! Review

Sorry I had this mostly finished on the backburner for awhile but Soulless grabbed my attention pretty hard.  BUT NOW THIS IS FINISHED! I hope you enjoy!

Summarize

So the story is as follows…Takato is an actor who was voted Japan’s sexiest man for a few years in a row. However his title is usurped by this dude named Junta that he’s working on a new movie with.  Takato is salty about this but is professional about it and just kinda harbors secret bitter feelings.  He is polite to and gives advice to Junta when asked.  Junta invites him out to drinks, Takato doesn’t want to but everyone within a 5 mile radius swoops in to pressure him into it so he caves.

GOD WHY IS THAT A THING? That for sure happened in Love Stage and I’m sure I’ve seen that trope elsewhere.  Where not just a 3rd party will pressure a reluctant uke but like a fucking horde of strangers with nothing to gain from it just crawl out from under the fucking floor boards like little hack-handy roaches to advance this shitty plot.

ANYWAY!

Junta gets Takato drunk, films embarrassing stuff that he threatens to blackmail him with, and a fucking horror scene of a rape ensues.  Like, not dissimilar from Junjou in the fact that the atmosphere is drawn as oppressive, the uke is riddled with very palatable fear, the seme wears crazed expressions, and behaves violently.  Hell, Takato manages to shove him off and tries to lock himself in the bathroom for his own safety but Junta rips the door off its fucking hinges. Takato PLEADS like BEGS for him not to but he is violently raped against the wall while Takato cries saying OUT LOUD that THIS IS RAPE!  Afterwards he’s crying and shaking, talking out loud about how he’s frightened if others find out and feeling humiliated.

Junta picks him up and is like, “Man I guess I got carried away, but like REAL TALK I have a crush on you. The rape was kinda bad I guess, but it’s not my fault cause I literally cannot control any of my actions. I can prove I like you by having gentle sex with you in the bed.”

Takato agrees to this.

I BEG YOUR FUCKING PARDON?!

The implication here is that Junta just looked SO SWEET! But like also it wasn’t gentle sex at all and Junta is going to continue to blackmail him. HAR HAR!

Like here is a hot fucking take authors and fans of this particular type of garbage… that kind of writing does not make this more consensual and okay.

Like if you threw a dude in a pit full of scorpions, and he is being stung by a thousand stingers and the poison is slowly and painfully shutting down all of his bodily functions and it’s all really gruesome…but then someone asks if he wants to be saved and the dude in the pit goes from screaming in agony to saying, “Actually I like it down here.”

Does that mean being pushed into that pit, and what he went through in that pit is okay? NO

What does him suddenly wanting to marry all of those 1000 scorpions mean?

IT MEANS YOU’RE A FUCKING HACK WRITER WILLFULLY CONTRIBUTING TO RAPE CULTURE FOR A QUICK BUCK YOU HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Like you can have your stories where a rapist is redeemed from his awful actions, but more often than not I see these fucking outrageous hairpin fucking turns in writing.  

I mean, Junta does apologize?  Which is better than some semes but honestly I’d rather him not even bother because he’s not sincere.  He apologizes all the time for the sex acts he puts Takato through but goes on to blackmail him, hurts him, abducts him, and threatens him to his face with more rape. LIKE NOT EXACTLY FEELING AS IF YOU TOTES CARE ABOUT HOW HE FEELS ABOUT ALL THIS, BOYO!

The next chapter while they’re being filmed for the show Takato throws him against the wall and hijacks the dialog to make it sound sexually threatening.  Takato IN HIS MIND ADMITS “DAMN HE’S ACTUALLY USING ENOUGH FORCE TO HURT ME!!!!”  So after this shot, Takato gives Junta some advice and makes no shit, this fucking face…                        

And that…face, (improperly attached to what I presume is a series of straws coated in plaster masquerading as a neck)  gives Junta that GOTTA RAPE NOW BONER!

So that’s what happens, he just violently drags off a kicking and screaming Takato in the middle of shooting and no one bats a fucking eye. SEEMS LEGIT!  What’s baffling to me is they don’t even draw a sex scene for this.

MY BRO, WHAT IS EVEN THE FUCKING POINT THAN OF ALL THESE RAPE SCENERIOS IF THERE AREN’T HIDEOUS MELTING FACES AND WACKY INFLATABLE TUBE MAN BODIES TO GO WITH IT!?

But afterwards Junta says the classic creepy shit, “Give up already and become mine. I have no intention of giving you to someone else.” WE KNOW THE DRILL!

Takato looks up at Junta and goes, “Yeah guess I love this dude.”

AND LIKE FOR WHAT? FOR HUH? WHAT’S GOING ON HERE!?!!??!?!?!?!?

But also, are you fucking joking here? Like I’m not into the 10 volumes of “Am I gay or not?” bullshit we get in yaoi. But, depending on the pace and characterization, there’s nothing wrong with dragging out the love being 100% mutual. Here’s it’s in chapter fucking 2.  Even Junjou went at a slower pace than that.  When I read that I couldn’t help feeling like, “WELL WHAT’S THE CONFLICT IN THE NEXT 3 AND A HALF VOLUMES GOING TO BE?”

Which, admittedly is unfair, there can be lots of relationship conflict outside of mutually expressed love…However for a rapist/tsundere dynamic? That’s usually at least 75% of the conflict.  But oh, maybe this means we’re going to get different kinds of drama!  So even while it’s not good, we’re going to get something different!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It’s utter NOT-CONFLICT is what we end up with.  3 different chapters are, “I haven’t seen much of him, that must mean he’s bored of me. Wah! Oh it turns out he was just busy. Oh that’s good.”  PAGING FUCKING JUNJOU WITH THAT SUPER FUN, ENGAGING, AND INTERESTING CONFLICT HARDY FUCKING HAR!

Then we take a hard right into sorta worst rapist territory.  What do you mean by SORTA worst rapist Faps?

Well……

There’s a new actor Takato is working with and this new actor, and the new actor’s coding as a bad guy is about as subtle as a punch to the mouth. So new actor gets Takato drunk enough for him to pass out, gives him a hickey and ????????????

2 things happen in these situations in yaoi typically

1.)    SOMEHOW the seme MAGICS his way there beats up the worst rapist

2.)    This happens after the uke and seme have a fight. So uke realizes how mean he was for not being 100% down with all the seme’s shitty behavior cause there is a worst rapist out there. He runs crying to the seme apologizing and conflict solved.

We sorta get the 2nd here…but not in a straight-forward way.  For one there is no fight beforehand to set up any kind of relationship development.  What happens is that Takato wakes up mortified at the possibility he was raped while he was asleep.  He staggers around both in denial and utter shame.  Seme shows up and like only adds to this panic by yanking him around, forcefully washing his body, and screaming that his SLUTTY, SLUTTY FACE MANIPULATES MEN into raping him.  The seme tells him that they don’t have to have sex.  Which good, but I mean the scene is not framed as if Takato is doing this out of kindness but almost as a dare. The implication being if Takato doesn’t consent that he is the OTHER MAN’S BOY NOW and they should just break up. So there is implicit pressure there, but he does seem to initial consent.  Yet during the sex Takato internally cries about how much he hates it because his boyfriend is hate fucking him but he can’t say NO because than his boyfriend will hate him more.

LIKE FUCKING BIG YIKES MY FRIEND! IT’S SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE!

Which like, I could see a post-assault sex scene full of the emotional intensity of the anger, guilt, shame, fear all intermingling within both of them working well. (Not that post assault consensual sex is much of a thing.)  That they’re trying not to think of what Takato went through but it’s eating at both of them.  THAT COULD BE A REALLY INTENSE, WELL DONE SCENE!  However this is framed like seme ~taking back what’s his~ in a really cold, pissed-off way that’s AT BEST really insensitive to what the uke just went through and his current emotional state.  While Takato ~letting him~ cause he’s afraid his bf hates him for getting raped by someone not him.  Junta also disappears without a word, making Takato fear that YEP HIS BF DON’T WANT HIM CAUSE HE’S DAMAGED GOODS NOW!

But who has to apologize? THE UKE!

Also it turns out Takato was not raped cause worst rapist couldn’t get it up after Takato said his bf’s name in his sleep.  This is framed as better not cause of what the uke went through, but he didn’t really CHEAT so Junta can forgive him.

LIKE REALLY MY DUDE? YOU STARTED THIS OFF WRITTEN TAKATO MORE REALISTICALLY DEALING WITH THE DENIAL, DISGUST, AND SHAME OF ASSUALT AND INSTEAD JUST DEGRADED INTO THE SAME VICTIM-BLAMING HORSESHIT! GET FUCKED!

So the resolution is that the relationship is fixed and Junta threatens and blackmails the rapist. Which, I’m glad he didn’t get off scot-free but those interactions felt less like protecting the safety of Takato and more like, HE’S MY PROPERTY NO TOUCHY!

So from here we take a big turn.

Most of the 3rd volume is a big back-track to the beginning of their relationship before it was romantic or sexual.  And boy howdy it feels like a retcon for the fuck awful pace of the 1st volume.

Basically it’s about how Junta became obsessed with Takato while working on a movie cause idk he’s pretty and he accidently heard Takato say something shitty about him once. While I wouldn’t call this good the fact that they actually let this blooming of affection take place makes it the best chapters so far.

Like at the end Junta resolves himself to let his feelings be known and to start a romantic relationship with Takato.  Without the context, that felt like almost sweet? That he’s accepted his gay feelings and wants to share his life with Takato.  However if you REMEMBER THE CONEXT it means that Junta planned to drug, blackmail, and rape Takato WHICH YANNO REALLY TAKES A SHIT ON YOUR CUTE LITTLE FEATHERS BLOWING IN A BREEZE TO GO WITH HIS CUTSY MONOLOG YOU SHIT-SUCKER!

But lordy the next chapter comes along which is a retelling of this prequel from Takato perspective. The only saving grace here is that it’s not nearly as long as Junta’s.  Basically Takato realizes that Junta is OUT for him, and has a fucking frightened panic attack in his car afterwards. He’s literally shaking and monologing about how scary the situation and Junta are.  And this isn’t me even inferring words in Takato’s head, he repeats scary over and over.  Takato even decides to over book himself so he’ll have fewer chances to interact with Junta. So he does the classic ~pass-out from overwork~ thing so Junta can save him and from here we immediately transition to,

Oh now it’s modern day and they’re banging…..okay????? VOLUME ENDS

The next plot point comes down to this:

Paparazzi are OUT TO GET THEM! There is a photo leaked that isn’t really suggestive at all and Takato pretty much loses his job for it. However Takato finds out there is a much more damning picture of him and Junta, so he decides to break up with Junta, and like…just literally do whatever the paparazzi wants in order to protect Junta. But like, what’s the point of hiding it from Junta? And if this dude is going to blackmail you, what are you going to do to make sure their demands end or don’t get to the point that they’re unfeasible to continue giving in to them?

HAHA OH WELL!

Takato doesn’t even get to see the paparazzi again, his producer finds out and sexually assaults him to PROVE A POINT!

AND BOY HOWDY I’M WAY INTO THAT TROPE! LOOKING AT YOU OURAN HOST CLUB!

Cause HAHA nobody could literally want anything out of a wealthy, well-connected actor other than gay rape amirite?

Meanwhile Junta is cultivating a rumor that he’s having an affair with an actress.  Cause of fucking course Junta figured that the only reason his boyfriend (whom is often upset at how shitty he gets treated by him) is an elaborate ploy to protect him from the paparazzi.  But you know OF COURSE we see the actress and Junta flirting a bunch to stir the pot in a private setting but like…they only need to be seen on an outside date once.  This means that he’s fucking lying if he says that he only did it to SAVE BOTH OF THEM FROM THE PAPARAZZI.  He was getting a kick out of it, which I think you could argue that he was being unfaithful or in the very least being a fucking dick about it.

But, Junta goes on TV and says that he’s not having an affair with the actress or with Takato but he is moving in with Takato.

Yeah nothing dispels rumors of an intimate relationship like the announcement that they’re MOVING IN TOGETHER!  Now, as I understand it, the housing market is very different in Japan from the west and therefore it’s less of a huge TELL of an intimate relationship if two people move in together.  But even if that’s the case, saying you’re moving in with someone you’re accused of having an affair with…is not helping my friend.

However it is phrased this way, and immediately the entirety of the media believes this whole-heartedly, and the paparazzi guy (despite having a much more damning picture he hasn’t released) is like, “Wowzers he’s so smart, he has BEAT ME! I’m giving up being paparazzi.  That man CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER! HOW COULD I EVER THANK HIM!?”  Even the fucking company that hired this paparazzi guy is like, “WELL I’M TAKING MY BUSINESS IN A NEW BETTER DIRECTION! THAT JUNTA GUY SURE, SHOWED ME!!!!”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!? You might as well have every criminal in Japan throw their hands up going, “WELL GOLLY!  DID YOU SEE HOW GREAT THE ACTUAL RAPIST AND ABUSER JUNTA IS? BEST NEVER DO A BAD THING EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

GO EAT EVERY DICK!!!!

That’s pretty much the end up to this point.  I mean, there are some odds and ends chapters here and there but they’re pretty much excuses for sex chapters. And like, even though those are pretty rapey, I kinda respect them more than when you attempts to interject some semblance of relationship drama, cause holy hell that paparazzi shit ugh.

Though if you’ll allow a side rant from me about how the story treats sexual assault. According to the author it comes in a lot of flavors and most of them are awful.

For one: if it’s a hunky guy who loves you: Rape is great.

For two: if it’s a hunky guy but you already have a rapist errr boyfriend: You’re cheating.

For three: if you’re being obnoxiously sexually harassed by your superior….BUT YOUR PRODUCER IS AN OLDER EFFEMINATE GAY MAN: It’s hilarious and harmless and helps cement your Marty-stuness.

For four: if a woman is being groomed by a superior: It’s a bad thing that should be stopped.

3 and 4 happen within the same chapter but the author is so oblivious at the hypocrisy of the framing it’s absurd.

Story

Okay so the story is a mess. The relationship progression goes way too fast for it to make sense, and negates a lot of the drama you could have had.  It’s possible that the editors wanted sex ASAP for some kinda quota, and that’s not necessarily bad. But it really burns my biscuits when people think, “Oh that means lead with rape and that they’ll be in mutual love by chapter 2.”  

Sure most tsundere stories have a bit more lead up until the uke can confess he likes the seme back but this is not the right way to break that mold. The hairpin turn makes no sense and neuters a lot of potential conflict.

It puts the comic in a pacing hole to start and the rest of the story does little to mitigate this. I think there was an attempt to rectify this by going back to the story BEFORE they were a couple.  However that was horrible botched as well.  It brings the pacing to a screeching halt with a volume of Junta being like “OH NO HE’S HOTTTTTTTTTTT” despite the time devoted they do very little to give them an actual relationship or investment in his personality. It’s all a one-sided pining boner for hideous wiggle mouth.

The content of the writing is just embarrassing too.  I can be a more forgiving in the sex-excuse side chapters.  But like there’s a side chapter when Junta is magiked into a child and for like what? So we can coo, that the author drawing a small snowman with a poorly defined face and pretending it’s a child is super adorable?

So we can excuse the shitty way Junta behaves?  Is anybody weirded out that 3 year old Junta is more thoughtful and respectful than his adult-self?  YOU CAN’T EVEN WRITE HOW CHILDREN BEHAVE YOU STUPID SIMP! UGH!!!!

But also the arc on the paparazzi just ended in a total train-wreck of awful writing no question.

Sexual politics:

They’re fucking atrocious here.

1.)    The first scene is framed as a brutal rape but 30 seconds later its fine and they’re in love.

2.)    The handling of the ~worst rapist~ trope with big buckets of victim blaming and as if Takato was ~cheating~ is horrendous.

3.)    The worst rapist is also a sex worker.  So we’re framing sex workers as bad people and sex work as a bad thing. BUT GOLLY KEEP DRAWING GRAPHIC SEX SCENCES!

4.)    The sexually predator producer of Junta being framed as harmless cause he’s effeminate is god fucking awful.  It’s also this bizarre homophobic double standard that this man (and by extension his gay brother) are a joke because they behave stereotypically gay and aren’t ashamed of being effeminate.  MEN ARE ONLY HOT IF THEY ACT LIKE PREDATORS IN A MANLY WAY, OR ARE ASHAMED OF ANY SEXUAL SUBMISSIVE OR EFFEMINATE TRAITS THEY HAVE! I LOVE WATCHING MAN ON MAN SEX BUT SO HELP ME GOD IF THEY’RE ~GAY ABOUT IT!~

5.)    They ~sorta~ take sexual harassment seriously when a female actor is being groomed. Like they joke about it but also DO SOMETHING TO STOP IT really fucking muddles what we’re supposed to think about sexual abuse at all here.

6.)    Takato’s producer sexually assaults him to ~prove a point~ that Takato is putting himself in situations where rape COULD happen.  The fuck is this horseshit! “These men could do the very bad thing of raping you. Let me demonstrate what that bad thing looks like cause I’m sure you’re UNAWARE!” THE FUCK!?  Also this sexual assault is framed more seriously than Junta’s producer because this producer is coded as MORE ATTRACTIVE and less openly QUEER! ONCE AGAIN I EXCLAIM! THE FUCK!?

7.)    Takato OPENLY describes Junta as scary and calls his acts stalking, kidnapping, bullying, blackmail, threats, and rape.  He also tries to actively avoid his boyfriend at times, yet are we not to take ANY of this seriously?  Are we not to take this seriously cause this behavior is acceptable when the one dolling it out is attractive and charming?  Are we not to take it seriously because we can’t except Takato to be honest about how he feels about any of this?  I don’t believe in given a blanket free-pass when Takato doesn’t consistently express desire in Junta’s abusive tendencies.  Like maybe you can argue some of the sex is consensual but can you argue that Takato is into the blackmail, when he never mentions he likes it? Can you argue he’s into the non-stop attention when he SOMETIMES BEGRUDINGLY admits he enjoys it?  If so does just that get a blanket pass?

JUST UGH! YOU’VE GUYS HAVE PROBABLY HEARD THIS RANT FROM ME BEFORE I FUCKING HATE TSUNDERE SEXUAL POLITICS!

 Characters

Takato

Okay so Takato. What’s this dude’s deal?  

Okay let’s start with some boring basics:  He’s a hard-working actor who strives to be professional.  He’s a perfectionist, who seems to easily and joyfully take on the role of mentor/protector. He does seem to take himself too seriously at times. He appears to subtly prod at people who have wronged him or others rather than confront them directly. He’s also shown to be a tsundere with a submissive streak.

There’s nothing bad on its face about this characterization.  However Takato is described as an intelligent professional actor, with years of experience.  Yet his handling of the paparazzi thing is pretty much he goes to shit and opens him up to more rape cause lol hot.  I could maybe understand this characterization if the paparazzi thing really hit Takato on a personal level and he made some irrational choices due to feeling as if he was being attacked or that he was going to permanently lose his job.

However he is shown as calm, as he’s making these choices and openly states that he will gladly give up a career he worked so hard for if it would save Junta’s career. Did he not, even for a second consider he could save both of them?  This is not consistent with his characterization and it exists to put Junta on a pedestal he does not deserve.

SPEAKING OF…

Junta

So…this fucking guy. Junta is a young up and coming actor with early success.  He’s shown to be an impulsive, passionate person who relies heavily on an ~angelic charm.~  He has no shame in using calculated, underhanded methods in order to achieve his goals.  He is shown as impatient, has a temper, and is openly disrespectful to his partner.

Yet the world fawns over him with praise for how attractive, charming, and ~resourceful~ he is.  He is described as having a few low wage jobs out of high school and therefore he’s an expert in EVERYTHING FOREVER!

I believe they were trying to humorously contrast Junta having a sweet, innocent angelic charm, with the reality of him being an aggressive a-hole.  However they do not frame the aggressive a-hole side of him as bad but rather as HOT.  Like I GET THAT on some level but since he’s a manipulative, abusive, rapist, it just reminds me of all the REAL LIFE INDIVIDUALS who put on a good face for the public but to their partner they’re monsters.

Art

I legit hate this fucking art. Like straight up and down, I have a hard time even reading it on a visual level.  Like the anatomy is OKAY and the backgrounds are OKAY but a lot of it is less than okay. The worst culprits are the character designs, the necks, and the expressions.  

I am so done with mediocre artists churning out, not only same-faced characters compared to their own art, but characters that are basically same-faced compared to the main-stream.  The only thing unique here is that Junta has dark hair underneath his lighter brown hair. OH GOLLY!  It’s so fucking bland and Junta’s got best seme in the Chil Chil awards and I’m so salty about that I could give the dead sea a run for its money. UGH!

The necks are super long, thin, twisty, sharp angels, and with her sad attempts at tendons it looks as if they’re constantly tense.  And in worst case scenarios they don’t look as if they’re attached to even half of the chin. Yeesh!

The expressions…fucking lord.  In the best of times, the facial spacing is just bad, with eyes and mouths off center, and ears too low.  The author has no concept of how lips/faces work so all the kisses are REAL BAD. It’s either just like…triangles smashed at each other, no lips involved, or they’re like 1 foot apart layering their tongues on each other like they’re building a fucking sandwich.

The worst of times is Takato’s sex faces.  THEY MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT-SCREAM!

Basically he squints and his eyes get so watery it looks as if they replaced his eyeballs with just well…water.  You can’t make out pupils, irises, NOTHING!  But the mouths are the pinnacle of puke-inducing.  They’re these enormous squigglies with no rhyme or reason, just oozing saliva like a breach in a dam. At best they’re cartoonish in an unerotic way. THESE SQUIGGLES! I CAN’T STAND THEM!  YUCK!

TL;DR

Poorly drawn and written Rapist/Tsundere garbage.  While it doesn’t hit EVERY little overplayed trope, it’s still pretty cliché.  Just, it’s similar and up there with Junjou in the shitty department if you ask me.

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

WLW Fic Rec List

with input from my beautiful friend @gee13

I promised a random anon I would give ‘em a more complete list of recs several months ago so here- in no particular order I have, Glee, Pretty Little Liars, Pitch Perfect, Girl Meets World, Supergirl, The 100,  The Good Place, and Riverdale. 

There’s very little porn without plot in here, but I went through my favorites on fanfiction.net and my history on Ao3 and if I recognized the fic I put it down. So some might have slipped through.

As I was going through these and rereading some old favorites I forgot about I wrote little bios. If your work, or a work you really like doesn’t have a bio it’s just cause I remembered it was really good and didn’t feel a need to reread it. If you want comment your own and I’ll edit the post and give you credit. 

The minimum qualifications for all of these were:

At least 2k words for a one shot, if it was a multi chapter there had to be at least 1k words per chapter (For example: 14 chapters, 14k words)

It had to be completed or updated in the last year ish (but like I was flexible based on the quality, and if I knew the author or the deal or not)

It had to be Ao3 or Fanfiction.net and tagged appropriately (so I could find it)

Also I never really got into g!p stuff because I ran into a lot of transphobic or just really offensive stuff early on which put me off of it.

Or the alpha omega stuff, when my goach found out I was reading fanfiction she said ‘great just nothing with alpha omega shit okay” and that was like four years ago but I don’t care enough now to start. So none of those are on here (maybe in faberry but I don’t think so)

And they also had to be english, my spanish is still pretty bad so I can’t really read any of those- sorry :(

But let me know if the link ain’t right. And if you think something should be added let me know too, and I’ll read it and add it, and give you credit. My tastes have changed over the years to be slightly so if there’s something here that you think is distateful message me being like “can you reread this?” because it might’ve slipped through. Or I might be like “m8 thats some gay ass shit right there, agr33 to disagr33.” We’re all just here to read out otps getting together again and again in different ways, let’s just be chill about it

But don’t worry- what’s important is at the end of the day they’re all very very gay. 

Italics is required reading for each fandom

Glee

Faberry

Dead Girls Don’t Sing (a must read) and the sequel Dead Girls Don’t get a Happy Ending - if you read nothing else for the rest of your life read this, it was written by one of the kindest women I know

You Don’t have the Right

A Perfect Match - slow burn, good if you like tennis

Comfortably Numb

Black Holes and Revelations

Angel Eyes

I’ll Be

Beers and Strippers

Kill the Light

Racing Against the Sun (fucking depressing I cried)

The Christmas Act

Acceptance and it’s sequels: Remembrance and Convergence

Making Angels Cry

Better Than Ice Cream - cute kid!faberry fic

Alone Together - slow burn af but worth the read

A Million Miles of Fun - ridiculous and great

Cuddle Monster - fluffy fluffy crack

Zero, Thirtyseven, Nine - I read this awhile ago and was too young to comprehend the genius

Secret Relationship Unlike Any Other - I was just thinking about this fic the other day!

Should’ve Asked for Directions - if you haven’t read this- read it I swear to god

An Accident of Paradise

Backwards Walk  and the companion Between The Drinks And Subtle Things - angsty and painful, I once attempted to write a happy ending and even my fluffy ass failed 

Better Where it’s Wetter - Introduced me to Ellen so…

Boats in the Sky

The Wish

Give your Heart a Break - left me a lil unsatisfied, but gave me some room to daydream about an epilogue

We might fall hard We might fall fast

I Told Him

Opposite Poles, Equal Partners - a quick angsty one shot to leave you unsatisfied :)))))))))

Quinn’s Second Time - I remember this being good awhile back, let me know ya’ll

Marley and Quinn

My Lost was Saying Found

Brittana

12 Days

Pretty Little Liars

Emison:

Ali’s Second Chance

Duplicity

Sinner’s Lullaby

the supreme 

Dreaming

Gravity

Affair

In Holy Matrimony

Our War

A Break From Being Me

Acquired Madness

Her Silence is Deafening

It’s a Process

Orange is the new Alison

Mermaid

Brooklyn and the Baby

Dreaming - tbh I’m not sure if it’s good, but the concepts amazing and the first chapters are really good so we’ll see

Downtown Train - this author is an investment, I have a feeling they’ll get better with time and this fic is already really good. Perfect for a relaxing rainy day, or right before you go to bed because it won’t keep you up. Just like a chill fic bruh

Begin Again - THAT ONE BASED OF AN OLD ASS POST I MADE FOR NOTES BECAUSE I KNEW YOU FOOLS WOULD EAT IT UP AND SOMEHOW TURNED OUT REALLY WELL AND I DIDN’T EVEN ASK THEM TO WRITE IT THEY ASKED ME HAHA WHAT THE FUCK

Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories

Soldiers are Dreamers

Lauren - frustrating for an emison shipper but undeniably well written

Place Your Bet - tbh everything by this author, while a little slow, is incredible 

And The Sparks That We Had Can No Longer Light Up Our Debris - angsty and unsatisfying, but I’m a masochist so I love it

Like Real People Do

Right now it feels like we’re bleeding (so deep that we might not get back up) - I have reread this shit so many times, I love it to death

J'adore

she’s (not) too good for you - I reread this on the regular

25 Occasions People Have Celebrated in the Liarverse - seriously so good, I cried several times

Five Kisses Emily Fields Never Had (On Screen)

Half the Fun

A Break From Being Me - hasn’t been updated in 3000 years but sorta incredible tbh, read at your own risk!

Mulligan Madness

Ali’s Guide to the Art of Love - one of those fics that seems dumb but is actually really gripping and well written and it’s just that the summary’s misleading?

i’ve been afraid of changing (cause i built my life around you)

silver stepping stones - sorta like ‘Right now it feels like we’re bleeding…’ but told from Alison’s perspective and if Alison had gone with Emily. It’s not perfect but it’s a cute one shot and really in character

Ali’s Nightmare Before Christmas and it’s sequel Breathe Again - I actually haven’t reread these I just remember these being really really good

Art of Attraction - I actually know the author and she’s super nice and she writes a bunch of other great stuff

Charlissa

All the Things That Used to Matter

Vandermarin

every thought a thought of you

Love is the New Denim or Black

Sparia

Act Like Everything is Normal

wide open road (of my future)

Spanna

Take Me to Your River (I Wanna Go)

Other:

Chalk Paths

Tell me you Won’t Leave me - really angsty, I felt like it really made an impact on me ya know?

Thirteen Things - this is actually a series but every fic is completed and utter gold

All the Way Home I’ll Be Warm - okay this is a lil hetero but it has emison so

Big Little Liars

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Depravity

Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Times, They Are A’Changing - sorta every gay couple imaginable, I haven’t read it in awhile but I remember it being really good, there’s a companion peice: Baby, You’re the Best I’ve Ever Met that’s about Mona and Melissa

Pitch Perfect

Bechloe

Perfect Timing and a Perky Red Head

Moirai

Girl Meets World

Rilaya

The Circle

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou, she never says and the unfinished sequel which will continue to kill us “we’ll be fine,” he swore  (even if you aint in the fandom read this, some of the best work I’ve ever seen)

Growing Pains Taste Like Five Hour Energy And Her Lips

Darling so it Goes - hasn’t been updated in awhile so read at your own risk

your hand in mine (heartbeats in sync)

we howl to the moon

do you fall in love too easily?

Passage - I reread this to make sure it was still good as I remembered, crying now- read at your own risk

As Observed by the Sky

pretty sleeper and it’s companion pretty weeper - why is the rilaya fandom so angsty? IT’S NOT NECESSARY

crawl home to her - vampire au, not normally something I’m into but the pickings are sparce and this is damn good

Revelations

Ten First Meetings

The Universe Wants Maya Dead - fucking angsty man, seriously

Day in the Super Life

with joyful ring - a cute Christmas one shot

a love that’s homeless - another cute fantasy one shot

ramble in the roots

Supergirl

Supercorp

Something to Write About

The War of Roses

Is this who we are now? - I wish this was more than a oneshot, I would’ve liked to see the ending play out but a fantastic concept- really

90408

Of Soul-Mate’s and Heart-ache

The Fifth Wall -  I’ve loved the slow buildup but haven’t had a chance to finish it so no one talk to me about it ever

Secretaries Know Best - Jess is a queen and I love her

One Lena Comment Too Far - the greatest piece of literature to ever grace the internet

Did You Absolutely Have To - I’m dying and I love it

Your Name

Supergirl’s latest date - I remember this being pretty funny but I was too lazy to reread

Sunlit Honey and Lavender Sunsets and apparently the author has an unfinished sequel? Gold-Crested Ravens and Cornflower Blue Mornings

The 100

Clexa

Lightening Only Strikes Once - READ READ READ PLEAASE

Six

Down Came the Rain

The Blind Side of Love

Pie in the Sky - so so so so good! Like actually amazing

they take their shots but we’re bulletproof

you’re magic & you’re real

All That You Got (Skin To Skin Oh My God)

Copper Down - so I went on a clexa spree and so there’s gonna be a shit ton of those on here

More Than You Think You Are - a little ooc at times but pretty gosh darn amazing oh my god

masquerade dreams 

blood rush in the hazy glow - this killed me, I wish the author would give us an epilogue, maybe Clarke and Lexa buying the bar together and watching some lost college kids come in making it a circle or something, but really really really amazing Jesus

I’ll travel through time to save you

In Another Life - a little Lexark for ya, it’s a short, fun, satisfying read you can knock out in thirty minutes

Origamis - to prepare ya’ll for the single mom au I’m dropping probably never but have planned out in my head to a tee

The Wife Project: By Professor Alexandria Woods - Autistic!lexa is honestly one of my favorite head canons that I believe is 100% true, and this fic writes it effortlessly

Almost Three - angsty but interesting concept- definitely enjoyable and I’ve reread it multiple times

Some Angels Fall

Commander in Chief - the best part about this is that in this universe trump is in jail

i’ll give you the moon - some christmas fluff

she gave me a good character (but said I could not swim) - angsty and unfullfilling so you know I love it

The White Queen Running - I loved every moment of this fic and it’s (unfinished) sequal - The Red King Awake, while admittedly hard to follow at times it’s still incredibly sweet while also being angsty and intriguing. 10/10 would read again. Also there’s so much fanart for it? Like really really good fanart? I’ve actually saved some of the better pieces to give me inspiration when I write tbh…

An Unfinished Fight - wonderful concept but would’ve loved to see the ending scene played out more, still an overall amazing fic and honestly so satisfying

Love Letters and Coffee Grounds - a warm christmas fluff for ya that’s ridiculously long but still great. 

It’s in My Roots, in My Veins, in My Blood (and I Stain Every Heart That I Use to Heal the Pain - a little bit of plot exhaustion by the end, you can probably just stop reading after the second denny’s scene and then skip to the epilouge but still so fantastic. I stayed up till 2am reading this and have no regrets

This Isn’t Our Fate (But You’re Still My Destiny) - lexark and clexa in one amazing fic! Sign me the fuck up! Really fucking cute and fluffy and totally angsty headcannons for elyza I love.

An Adventure - I love the characterization for Aden and I love this so much in gerneral tbh

you’re magic & you’re real - I like exactly four headcanons about the 100 characters: autistic!lexa, dyslexic!clarke, nonbinary!octavia, and I can’t remember the other one. It doesn’t matter, all of the mentioned above are in this and it’s very gay and wonderful and I actually wish I could make a movie out of this because it’s so great

by her side - a warm fluffy christmas fic for yall

Let Your Hair Down - dunno, cute af I guess

The Days of our Lives - a series I didn’t have the patience to finish but I have adhd so… the first one was fantastic and I loved the second one, but it keeps going so the others are probably good too

Today at Dust - helpful if you want to cry

who told you that you were naked? - fantastic, like seriously one of the best things I’ve read. 

i can fly higher than an eagle (for you are the wind beneath my wings) - GREAT if you want to cry. Not clexa centered but at the end yeah… It’s about Anya and Lexa

I have lost my pain - creative and interesting, well written and well done. A very good fic in all manners of speaking

I Will Wait (You Forgave And I Won’t Forget) - just a cute oneshot that’s very well written and gripping

A Forest Fire - I’m a sucker for fix it fics 

Fallen - a series I didn’t have the paitence to finish but again, symptom of my adhd, the first book and second book’s first half was fantastic and cute. I just love the headcanon for Clarke

Fix You - angsty but also amazing?

Mystic Coffee - did this inspire fanart or was it inspired by the witch!clarke fanart?

the business of caring - I’m a huge fan of this author’s style of writing, it’s funny and straight to the point and very dry, I read this until 3:30am last night and I had to get up at 6 the next day

what the ground grows - written by the same author and you can see the similarities in voice. Seriously both are amazing but this one is considerably more angsty than the one above

I’m bigger than my body, I’m colder than this home (I’m meaner than my demons, I’m bigger than these bones) - so angsty but so wonderful, I actually cried so hats off to you author…

The Witch of Ceder Plains - a cute two shot

July 4th 2016 - not really a series like the description promises but a very good stand alone story that was well written

If Love Were Enough and the heartbreaking prequal What I Lost In You - both oneshots, both genius

Bury it and Rise Above - mideval oneshot that I love

Ramen, Redbull, and Spite - I need a comic book based off this, it’s genius

find your way to me - fuck this fic, no really, I stayed up till 4am reading it when I had to get up at 8 the next day. Fuck this fucking shit. Mainly fluff until everything falls apart

Sacred Spaces - wasn’t gonna cause it’s just a oneshot and the description is so bad but shit the imagery in here is to die for and I feel like I’m reading a van gogh painting seriously

maybe they will sing for us tomorrow: the only thing I’ve ever printed a hard copy of its my all time favourite probably (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores) 

Everything by this author is so good in the clexa section I would reccomend all of it seriously oh my god

move on me: reincarnation fic that’s really beautiful (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores​)

Against the multiverse: a really fun clever one shot  (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores​)

ultraviolet lights - a lexark one shot that headcannons Elyza in a way I haven’t seen her before (a soft gay extra mess)

Hope is the Thing with Feathers (That Perches in the Soul) - I really love the daemon universe even though I’ve seen very little of it. This was very vivid though and had great imagery...

You’re Love Is a Waiting Game - I don’t think the author knew how to end this which is why the ending wasn’t perfect, but it’s overall so amazing I love it and it’s def worth the read

a year of sundays - a bit of a slow read at times and a bit mind boggling at times that they don’t figure it out sooner but very fluffy and amazing and very in character

your hand in mine and it’s sequal your hand in mine (pt. ii) - at the time of my writing this I have not yet finished part two but the first one was mastered so well I can only imagine its counterpart will be of a similar nature. Also there’s smut in this

Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks - a series about clexa in the middle of a turfwar, it’s just three well written one shots that are gripping and have a lot of imagery and realism. 

Something Suspicously Close to Hope - read if you like crying and Stranger Things, it’s a series of one shots about Eleven being adopted by Clexa and I love them

beat the devil’s tattoo - I haven’t read the one for anya but I imagine, if it’s anything like this- it’s pretty darn good

And I am driftwood, found. - really emotional, I read the first part but never finished it but this forced me to go back and reread it. Definitely worth it.

Feels Like Home - a short but satisfying read with very good characterization

a hand to hold on to series - definitely prioritizes family over romance but the kids were very realistic and I liked what they did when they placed Lexa in such a new situation so fast. I feel like people characterize her as bad with kids a lot but I don’t think she was...

or what you will - realiztic and heartfelt, I liked the poetry it was additive and insightful

enchanted. - are there ever enough harry potter AUs? Could’ve done with some more angst but this was acceptable.

She (thefooliam): a classical emotional roommates fic that just nails all the feels (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

This is heaven in hiding: lawyer multi chapter that’s really good and pretty smutty though! (​)

Markenland Series - there’s just two right now but I think they plan on writing a third. Anyway, very cute, I loved the characterization and the slowburn but not kill me this is taking too long slowburn

More Women than Warriors - I can’t begin to describe how much I love this, one of my favorite things I’ve read of all time. Please read this.

Empath - gay

Love Is Blindness (I Don’t Want to See) - my dad sat next to the daughter of a notorius kingpin when he was in highschool, once she asked to borrow a pencil and never gave it back and he watched her use it for like three months and said nothing. 

Habromaniac: cute one shot ( description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

this heart, fossilized and silent (once was tender, and once was violent) - surprisingly little angst after the beginning but in still a very realistic way. very fast paced in terms of action, I certainly was never bored...

Suffrage - there will never be a time when I am not interested in twentieth century, cross dressing, feminist clexa fighting for the rights of women

No Church In The Wild: one of the best heartbreaking canon one shots ever (description and recomendation by @lexascandlestores) 

Kiss Me, Kill Me; It’s Just The Same Isn’t It? - lexark, a little bit of poetic fluff thrown in there but it hit just that perfect mix of clexa and lexark, very good

the earth, that is sufficent - written for clexa week I loved every chapter of it. Each peice was a standalone but also worked cohesively with the others. Flawless, seriously.

Into the Wild Blue - I just love southern clexa okay? Leave me alone

it’s called contraband for a reason - written by one of the best clexa authors of all time it’s hilarious, sweet, in character, poignant and well done. At times the format takes away more than it adds but it allows the reader to compare and contrast the beginning and the end and see the character’s develop more clearly.

there is no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin) - this author may or may not be a genius Imma go binge all of their works and let you know. This was vv good at least. One shot

we’re only young & naive still (the bittersweet between my teeth) - part of that gaf au (you can find here) that I love so much... just a one shot but the different perspectives are done really well which is a hard thing to do well

Before Words, Beyond Silence, and it’s unfinished sequal, In the Screaming Silence - it has that satisfying instant clexa connection while not sacrificing plot or angst, no trust me, it didn’t sacrifice angst. I think the ice queen plot was a little rushed but it’s still fantastic and I’m excited to see where the sequal goes!

Skylark -  A superhero fic that’s pretty damn cool. Clarke and the gang had illegal experiments done to them by Mount Weather and it gave them superpowers. They fight crime while trying to remain anonymous as well. This story is so clever and incorporates the City of Light/chips/ flame so cool, and Clexa are badasses, and just…read it, trust me. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

You See The Smile That’s On My Mouth (it’s hiding the words that don’t come out) -  A childhood modern au where Clarke and Lexa are fuckin soulmates and best friends and it takes them a ridiculous amount of time to figure that out. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

The World Had Less Color Without You - it’s a college au where Clexa become friends after being paired together for a project, and fall in love even though they’re both terrified of it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Love on the Ground - This!! fic!!! is fucking fantastic. Canon-verse, angsty, so, so good. Just read it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Mysteries of Love - There’s another apocalypse, but Clexa are soulmates, and there’s a happy ending. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Essays in Existentialism: FtWD - a writer on tumblr publishes a lot of fics, either multi or oneshots under the ‘essays in exstentialism’ I haven’t read any beyond this lexark multi but this lexark multi was pretty fricken amazing ngl. Unfortunately hasn’t been updated in more than a year so it’s a pretty big risk

You Ask My Name (and All I do is Listen) - I had every sort of feeling about this, it’s super in character and incredibly well done

The Library - a bar au with a perfect mix of instant connection and angst, really well done

possibility days - a celeb au that’s well written and annoyingly filled with useless lesbian themes for both our idiots

Hooked on a feeling - an HP au I waited a million years to be updated and then finally was and what I’m trying to tell you is it’s amazing and worth it and wonderful and fluffy and I’ll love it forever

gera’s step-sister au - a lot of porn, Idk why but I tried to read this a billion years ago but I reread it recently and loved it. But yeah - definition of porn with feelings

Come Morning Light - this author writes a lot of kid fics but this is one of my favorites. In character and well written with a heartbreakingly poetic style. I love it.

most ardently - like some of these authors fics are amazing (like this one) and some are dumb as shit and like? Are there co authors? Are you like multiple people? I don’t know but this was amazing, historical clexa is historical clexa. Has some themes of the suffragette au from my first rec list but carves out a nice space for itself.

Punchline - a oneshot where Clarke wanders around the world and runs into Lexa a lot except it’s angsty and beautiful and there’s a lot of imagery

clexa eternal au - painful heartbreaking well written fantastic. I love most of the stuff by this author too so like you can’t really go wrong

pump mud through my veins - I wasn’t sure about the structure at first but they did something really cool with it and honestly well done

out at sea - okay I saw the tumblr post for this but I gotta say they did something interesting and fun with it and I don’t mind. Well writtten and vv cute

we will meet again - put off reading this because I was prepared for endless heartbreaks. Did happen but totally worth it. Don’t worry there’s a happy ending

Zoo Parks and Restoration - I got annoyed with plot exhaustion but the amount of well done clexa in this made it perfect. I never really like modern aus that much but I love this

The Whore’s Queen - took a little bit to get going but once it did... damn...

We Looked Like Giants - for some reason I put this off but there was no reason to? It’s so good? And very in character?

when my heart is at war - I can’t wait for the sequals, the first one is incredible!

Fall Away - a lot deeper and angstier than the thing got me ready for, really amazing and really well done. Love them lesbians

we could be immortals - put this off for some reason I don’t know why. Very in character, very true to high school I think, and funny and sarcastic and well written. it’s a highschool au but it’s more in character than that, and there’s plenty that links it to canon. I prefer canon tbh, but this was a nice fluff break

The Taste of War and Heartache - angsty and unfinished this is another incredible work by thefooliam. I would ten/ten reccomend because where it leaves off is pretty okay. It’s a canon au but it has some modern elements for those who prefer that. Really a great fic.

Bellamy x Murphy

if you only knew (my heart is breaking) - murphy is immortal and it’s angsty, this actually introduced me to this ship and I don’t normally like mlm but I kinda love this?

cynophilia - geez I don’t know why I love this ship all of a sudden wow

(you owe me twenty) - this actually ends with Murphy and Emori but it’s still super well written and well done

The Good Place

Tahani x Eleanor

True Love Is What Janet and Jianyu Have - this author is actually getting a lot of the second season right tbh

Riverdale/Archie Comics

Beronica

Can I Kiss You?

maybe being in a closet isnt so bad

Real Bisexual Kissing

Thaw - a real fluffy piece that won’t leave you angry and sad at all :)))))))))

Friends Don’t Let Friends Suffer Alone

The list as of 10/1/18

That’s it for now, I’ll probably reblog it with a continued list or post another list later as I go through more fics and more are reccomended and updated and finished. I just thought I’d post it now for obvious reasons...

[viralfeednova]

4 Steps to Regaining Control Whenever You Feel Overwhelmed

As the world we live in continues to get busier, it is easier than ever to find yourself feeling overwhelmed by everything you have to do. This is extremely dangerous, as overwhelm is a major source of stress which can lead to anxiety and burnout. But what can you really do about it? Often we feel overwhelmed because we’ve lost a sense of control, but we have no idea how to get it back. In this post, we’re going to show you what contributes to that feeling of overwhelm and give you some practical tips for how to escape it.   What is overwhelm? Let’s start by defining the problem we’re trying to solve. The dictionary definition of overwhelm is as follows: bury or drown beneath a huge mass; defeat completely. If you’ve struggled with overwhelm in the past like I have, then you know exactly what this feels like. You know the anxiety that can come from having too much to do and not enough time to do it in. You feel exhausted before you even start your day. You go from one urgent responsibility to another just trying to keep your head above water. Your only goal: survival. David Allen, author of the landmark productivity book Getting Things Done, calls this Emergency Scan Modality. When you are stuck in Emergency Scan Modality, you are constantly scanning the horizon for the next fire to put out. You may not see it yet, but you know it won’t be long until there will be an emergency for you to deal with. There’s a couple of significant problems with this approach: The work you’re trying to do suffersIt’s a self-fulfilling prophecy (you think things will break, so they do)It’s extremely stressfulWhy do we get overwhelmed? The amount of information in the world today is staggering. And all this data affects the way we live and work. According to a research study done by Domo, every minute: 154,200 calls are made on Skype456,000 tweets are published on Twitter3,607,080 searches are made on Google4,146,400 videos are viewed on YouTube103,447,520 emails are sent The net result of all this information is a condition called FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out. FOMO is the anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere. It’s the driver behind the compulsion to check social media or see what other people are up to. FOMO feeds on the never-ending stream of potentially important information that is given to us by our computers, tablets, and smartphones. But at some point, we have to be ok with the fact that it’s just not possible to keep up with everything. Often when people are dealing with FOMO, the solution they strive for “work/life balance.” But that’s a unicorn they can never catch. Trying to achieve work/life balance just leads to frustration. They chase some vague form of their ideal future, not realizing that the whole idea of work/life balance is actually a myth. You see, the work/life balance myth assumes there are very clear distinctions between your personal and professional lives. While that may be true for some people, technology has blurred these lines to the point where most of us can barely recognize them anymore. And it assumes that you have an unlimited supply of time and energy in order to do all the things you have to do. But in reality, there is no work/life distinction. There is just “life,” and it’s up to you to manage it well. You must decide where “work” stops and “life” starts. Awhile back, Thanh wrote a great article about using the Covey Quadrant cut out the urgent and focus on the important. We’ll give you some tips to do this shortly, but for now, you need to understand that if you’re dealing with overwhelm, it’s not your fault. The deck is stacked against you. You have an endless supply of other people’s demands for your time masquerading as “urgent and important.” That’s the bad news. But the good news is that you have the ability to take control and change things in your favor. 4 Steps to Escaping Overwhelm Now that we understand what overwhelm is and how we got here, it’s important to note that it didn’t happen overnight. The situation you find yourself in today is the product of the choices you’ve made. But that’s actually GREAT news! It means that we can adopt a systems thinking mindset to manipulate the machinery in our lives and produce the results we want. In this case, we want to make some changes to our processes and inputs to eliminate overwhelm and create space or margin in our lives. We want to allocate time for the things that are important to us and be ok with delegating or deleting the things that aren’t. Here are 4 things you can do right now to help you get on the path to escaping overwhelm once and for all. #1: Identify your roles & responsibilities. Every 3 months, I take a day off for what I call my “Personal Retreat.” I drive up to a cabin up north and spend an entire day just thinking about what I want to accomplish during the next 3 months. I don’t see or talk to anyone – I just think. One of the things I do every time is make a list of all the things I’m committed to. I write down all of my current roles and responsibilities, based on the commitments I’ve made. Then I re-evaluate every single one. I ask myself if I am still ok with each commitment. Often I find that something I committed to has evolved into something I am no longer comfortable with. If that’s the case, I circle that role or responsibility as something that I need to stop doing. Almost always, I force myself to decommit to at least one thing per quarter. #2: Learn to say “no.” Once I know what I shouldn’t be doing anymore,...

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