#second gayest thing after that damn car scene.

[quillandrapier]

I heard yall like beads

matching bracelets with your best enemy @lostspacestark

(p.s. it glows in the dark)

[sortasirius]

“Destiny’s Child” and the Destiny of...Them

So that was..........A Lot.

Liked A LOT about it, a lot more than a usually do with Buckleming, but uh, some issues.  Eugenie didn’t really need to bring up Busty Asian Beauties, that had gone and we didn’t need more of it.  And I hate any mention of John Winchester that is positive, whether it’s in an AU or hammering home how poor of a father he is, but other than some details, this was a wild ride that I mostly enjoyed and have a lot to talk about.  They certainly crammed a lot in there.

Starting from literally the very beginning, they’re hitting us with some sick parallels in the “Then” portion of the episode.  Listen, y’all know me.  Y’all know I am.......Not A Fan of M*g or M******l, I am, however a Rachel Miner stan, so when the “Then” started out with the pizza man and the cringy kiss from “Caged Heat” I sorta rolled my eyes but held out hope for a Rachel cameo bc I.....lov her.  But then.............”I learned that from the pizza man” is compared directly with Dean being mistaken for a pizza man?  And then eating pizza in like 20 different scenes?  Could the production be louder???????  There is, in my opinion, literally no other way to take that, that was a sequence that basically said “Dean taught Cas how to kiss” and I will not be accepting dissenting opinions at this time.

Also AU Sam and Dean were so dumb and I appreciated their stupid Fiat and the song that played when they got out of the car, thanks Amyn, I appreciate you dawg.  And then Sam and Dean explaining it to Cas?  Thanks base gods.

Cas was so fucking sassy in this ep and I......love him so much.

The idea of killing Amara is interesting, mostly because it brings her into play again, we saw in the beginning of the season that she just....doesn’t give a fuck about any of this, but the boys don’t know that, so maybe she’ll become an ally?  Idk, here’s hoping.  I miss her.

And when Cas and Dean have this exchange about the occultum:

“It was housed for hundreds of years in an ancient before it was-”

“Plundered by pirates!”

“No-”

“It was...dug up by tomb raiders!”

“No.”

“It was...seized by the king of the dead and his warlords amiclose?”

“Looted by invading mongol hoardes for trade on the black-”

“Black market, yeah I was gonna say that next, that was the next one.”

Like.....can y’all say MARRIED?  Anyway.

Danneel and Gen???  Together???  Ruby and Sister Jo????  Together???? I’m gay.

I’m SUPER interested in the convo that Jack and Cas have in the kitchen, specifically about Dean:

“Will he ever forgive me?”

“You know, Dean...he feels things more acutely than any human I’ve ever known.  So, it’s possible he could work through this.  One day he may explode, let it all out, breathe deeply and move on.”

“How long will that take?”

“I don’t know.”

Can we say PARALLELS fam??  First of all, Cas is so in tune with Dean, he knows him so well, knows how much he cares how deeply he loves.  Honestly it causes me chest pains to think about it for too long.  But Cas knows this because he just went through it, Dean “couldn’t forgive” and “couldn’t move on” until he had an Outburst in Purgatory and begged asked Cas to forgive him for how he acted.  It’s an interesting parallel because it isn’t a direct parallel: Dean was the one that asked forgiveness of Cas, not the other way around.  It’s a little detail, but at this point every little detail seems to be important down the road.

Also there were a lot of Looks between Dean and Cas and they were all soft and I gtg

And then we get the big mention: the first mention of Cas’ deal since last season.  I knew the writers wouldn’t just write this plotline off, and Cas is, “far from happy” as he says himself.  So.....not to clown.....but if getting Jack back doesn’t make him happy............what does? (I think we know)

And then Cas in the Empty, looking for Ruby, and runs into “Meg” (Rachel I missed u).  And I think it’s fascinating that the Empty appeared as Meg specifically.  The Empty knows Cas, of course, but, more specifically, the Empty knows EVERYTHING about Cas.  “I know who you love, what you fear.”  And the Empty appears to Cas as someone that he TRUSTED, not as someone that he loved.  It’s an important distinction, because if the Empty wanted to appear as something that would RATTLE Cas, it would appear as someone that he loved or hated, but he trusted Meg, that’s why it appeared to him as her.

Also, “go get her, pizza man” after that intro?  Really just hammering home that Dean is the pizza man with all the subtlety of an elephant imho.

Also Concerned Husband Dean is alive and well, he doesn’t even hesitate, he makes Jack bring Cas back immediately, important information be damned.

But before Cas leaves, Empty!Meg says something that should NOT be glossed over, about Death’s plan to defeat Chuck, “Funny thing about her plan though, she didnt say anything about needing you.”

How many times have we heard this this season?  How many times has Cas occupied the negative space?  “No one mentions Cas,” the loudness of his absence after the breakup, when he was kidnapped by Leviathan in Purgatory, not being mentioned in Billie’s plan, and now? Fret not my friends, I know so many people are worried about Cas, but Andrew Dabb is a Cas stan first and a human second, and all of these mentions or lack thereof of Cas being a part of the endgame?  It just makes him all the more important, because he’s a surprise attack, Chuck never sees him coming because he doesn’t consider him important.

And when Cas comes back and Dean calls him an idiot?  Some serious callbacks to one of the gayest episodes and one of my personal faves: “Lily Sunder has Some Regrets.”  They be married.

AU Sam and Dean were very wrong and I did not wike it and that’s that on that tbh.

So they get to the church, Sam holds the door against the hellhounds like the badass boy he is, and Dean and Cas really do just stand exactly where a couple getting married would stand, with Jack standing where the officiant would stand.  I mean.....it’s LOUD.  It’s just real LOUD in here.  Also pretty fucking ON THE NOSE that Jack stands in front of Jesus, Cas in front of Mary, and Dean in front of Joseph.  I’m not qualified to do religious iconography meta but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh come on now.

That snake sequence...Jack’s life flashing before his eyes before he gets his soul back?  Ya boi weeps.  Buckleming had no right to write something as amazing as Jack’s snake sequence and final scene, it shouldn’t be allowed and it was not what I was expecting.

So.....there was a lot happening in this episode but, y’all know I sound like a broken record here, Dean and Cas were, once again, the overwhelming and blatant focal point.  Sure I watch with my eyes tuned to them especially, but they’re really cranking up the volume over here.  The Empty deal is back and unresolved, Cas talks to Jack about Dean’s forgiveness, Dean’s fearful when he thinks he’s lost Cas again, the fucking pizza man.  It all points one direction.

[bellabooks]

“Pretty Little Liars” recap S7 Ep 13: Hold Your Piece

Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Emily was up to her ears in dyke drama and Hanna was attacked by the one thing she loved most: designer shoes. We open at the Hastings barn, where Spencer wakes up to the sound of a crying baby from A.D.’s board game phone. Despite lowering the volume and turning off the phone, the crying persists, driving Spencer nuts. She calls the Liars over (except for Ali, who is Out Of Town this week) and each Liar refuses to take the phone home with them…until Hanna lays her hands on it. Guess it’s Hanna’s turn to play the game. Hanna also says that Alison’s married name, Alison Rollins, sounds like a mouthful of muffin. Incidentally, Mouthful of Muffin sounds like a delightful romantic comedy about two gals who open a bakery together. Okay, the film opens on two cute girls innocently kneading some dough…   Hanna’s dress has landed in style sections and blogs, but before she can celebrate, Emily finds a blogger blind item calling the dress stolen. Also, Hanna still hasn’t told Caleb about the board game, which makes no sense…like, he’s been involved in seven years of A shenanigans, why keep him out of the loop now? Spencer is at the Brew, where she runs into Toby, who tells her that Yvonne woke up from her coma. As he rushes back to the hospital, Spencer sees Det. Marco wearing a sweater so tight you can see his nips. He invites her out for a day of awkward flirting, and tells her it will make him feel better for not finding the person who shot her. UGH what is wrong with men. Wanna waste some time with me and my overly sheer sweater? Wanna find the person who shot me?   Aria and Hanna decide to track down Sydney to see if she’ll drop a trail of bread crumbs that lead to Jenna. Aria needs the distraction, since every time she turns on the TV she’s met with Nicole and Ezra frolicking in Central Park with their miraculous love. Hanna gets a text from A.D. and there’s an ominous knock at the door. Who could it be? It’s a dummy with Hanna’s face sewn on! The dummy has a cord in the back that, when pulled, tells Hanna to look for the appendix. Hannaquin 2: On the Move!   Caleb sees the Hannaquin and immediately knows it’s a classic A move. He pulls out a big ol’ bag of spy stuff for the Liars to stalk Sydney with, and heads to the barn to hack his way into the board game. Meanwhile, Hanna goes through every appendix in every book in the loft, before realizing that it’s of course the Hannaquin’s appendix inside the doll body. Lucas swings by the loft to remind Hanna that they have a meeting with Japanese investors that night. Hanna is pumped for the meeting and ready to show off her designs. What could possibly go wrong?  Hanna, I’m not leaving you for this Hannaquin. This beautiful, sexy Hannaquin…   There’s also a big chunk of time spent on Marco and Spencer playing ping pong in a children’s after school program, where they flirt and we learn SO MUCH about Marco’s sad childhood. SNOOZE. There’s seven episodes of this series left, and guess what mystery I don’t want solved? Knockoff Toblerone’s sob story. Why are they spending time on this? It’s even more frustrating when we realize that Yvonne is definitely gonna die in this episode. How do we know Yvonne is going to die? Let’s look at the evidence: she spends the entire episode planning her fantasy future with Toby after they have a quickie hospital wedding. Sorry Yvonne, but I know my way around a soap opera, and this is classic soap. It’s been nice knowing you Yvonne. So I’m dying AND I don’t get a love story with Emily? This show sucks.   Back at the loft, Hanna has prepped a Dexter-worthy kill room and begins the operation of Hannaquin. She cuts the doll open and removes a bloody plastic bag with a pair of kitchen tongs. The bag contains a dress for her to wear for her investor’s meeting, which can best be described as a racist Halloween costume. Meanwhile, Emily and Aria team up to cyber-stalk Sydney, and find that she’s now a world traveling banker with a swanky apartment in Fishtown (clearly the gayest of the Philadelphia suburbs). They find pics of Sydney taking photos of the senator’s daughter, leading them to believe that she leaked the stolen dress story on Jenna’s behalf. Could Sydney be the second shooter? Could Emily be moving to Fishtown? So many questions, and so few answers. Emily, I promise, once we’re done sleuthing we’ll look for a tasteful two bedroom in Fishtown.   Also, I refuse to write more about this Spencer scene, but I just wanted to let you know that I wrote “this guy blows” about Marco no less than three times. Emily and Aria pull up to Sydney’s office, and Aria starts hacking into the office wifi like she’s some sort of Mona. Apparently, Caleb taught her all about hacking in like, an hour, which is surprising to Emily since Aria spent most of 9th grade with her phone on airplane mode. Emily sees Sydney leaving the office and goes to follow her. Emily tries to pretend that she accidently ran into Sydney, but Sydney sees right through her. Emily Fields: great lesbian, horrible liar. She questions Sydney, who reveals that she only took the photos to help Jenna with a practical joke, and that they drifted apart. Likely story. You’re my OKCupid date? I need to move to a town with more than 5 lesbians.   Emily hops back in the car with Aria, and they tail Sydney to a vision center, where they overhear her making a deposit for Jenna’s new eyeballs. You know, that old eyeball layaway gambit. Sydney says that the deposit should read from A.D. aka anonymous donor, and Aria realizes that A.D. is paying Jenna off, possibly for luring the Liars to the blind school. The plot thickens! Emily and Aria storm up to Sydney, where Aria Montgomery of all people plays the bad cop! She slams Sydney into the wall and demands to know what she’s hiding. Damn, where’s this girl been for seven seasons? Sydney says that the deposit was just a favor for one of the bank’s clients, and warns the Liars to stay away from Jenna. Aria hands her back her yoga bag, and Sydney says “Namaste, bitch” which is delightful. Sydney also calls Aria a chihuahua, which is hilarious because they both have big eyes and look constantly scared. What dogs would the other Liars be? Emily would probs be an Irish Setter, Hanna would be a fancy poodle, and Spencer would be an Weimaraner. Mona would obviously be a Persian cat. In the kerfuffle, Aria planted a tracker in Sydney’ bag, so they can keep tabs on her. These two are giving me serious Cagney and Lacey vibes. I came here to date creepers and kick ass, and I’m all out of creepers! JK they’re everywhere.   Spencer arrives home to find Caleb examining the board game. He is literally examining it with a stethoscope, which looks ridiculous. Maybe after he’s done he’ll give the board game a lollipop. Spencer and Caleb haven’t really spent any time together since they broke up, but they both agree that they want to be friends, and then remark over how easy it is to go back to normal. This is bananas, because no one would be that blasé about screwing their best friend’s boyfriend. Some of us still hide behind cars/fruit stands/other people when we see our exes, I’m just sayin’. Who knew these props from our Grey’s Anatomy roleplay would come in handy?   Before they can share a drink and reminisce about the times before they boned, Caleb pries up a piece of the board game and gets blasted in the face with poison gas. He starts choking, and Spencer calls 911. Damn, this board game is elaborate. I would not be surprised if this thing grew teeth and tried to take a bite out of the Liars at this point. Hanna shows up at Radley wearing a trench coat over her terrible dress. She tells Lucas that no matter what goes down in the meeting, she’ll always be grateful to him for taking a chance on her and being such a good friend. Before the meeting can even start, she finds out that Caleb is in the hospital and splits, leaving Lucas with her dresses and sketches. Caleb is recuperating in the hospital when Hanna rushes in. He’s worried that A.D. will be angry about her messing up the game, but Hanna doesn’t care. She later gets a text saying she won’t be getting a puzzle piece, which, whatever. The Liars talk about how unfair the game is, and realize that the goal of the game is to keep them off-kilter and bickering at each other. Spencer goes to visit Yvonne, only to find a devastated Toby: Yvonne is dead. Aria arrives home to Ezra’s apartment and sees a shadowing figure waiting for her. She grabs a knife, but it turns out to be Nicole. Chihuahua powers activate!   Det. Marco opens an envelope from A.D. that contains a moldy old severed finger. Is it from Mrs. DiLaurentis? Or Bethany Young? Or some other dead person? Tune in next week, when we find out who killed Jessica DiLaurentis, and just how much gas is in that board game. Tweet me your feels/Liar-dog pairings at @ChelseaProcrast http://dlvr.it/P3hJ1d