#second day of me coming in sick first day my senior doc let me leave after like 3hrs of work no sick leave or anything needed

[kirishwima]

🥺 i love the nurses in my ward

[ssa-babygirl]

Out of my League [Part 6]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: JJ gives you some bad news and Spencer feels like he’s only making matters worse. For both of you.

Warning(s): Angst, mentions of grief and death, allusions to relapse, swearing, mentions of drinking, this is lowkey a mess so i may have missed a couple of warnings

Author’s Note: IT’S HERE!!!! YAY!!! that’s the happiest you’re gonna be all chapter. The next one may take a bit of time and i am SORRY for that because this may or may not have a sorta cliffhanger you should just read it to find out!! also heads up there are a lot of perspective changes later on please just imagine how it would be cut together in a movie that’s how i wrote it OK ENJOY DON’T BE MAD JUST TRUST ME OK??

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

Washington, D.C., 2011

(Reader POV)

You’d gone to three different funerals since moving to D.C. Three more than you would have liked, obviously, no one ever really wants to go to a funeral.

The first had been your father’s. You had Jamie and your mom, but you needed Spencer. He was out on a case and you couldn’t blame him for not being there, but he made up for it a million times over. Your dad’s death wasn’t unexpected, and while it hurt to say goodbye, it was relatively easy to move on.

The second had been for Aaron’s ex-wife, Haley. You didn’t really know her, but Aaron was your friend and you wanted to support him. That and Jamie got along very well with Jack, acting almost as an older cousin, and you know how important family is when you lose a parent.

The third and most recent funeral was the worst one: Emily’s. She was there one day, raring to go and take on the world, gone the next. 

The day you found out was just terrible. JJ had called you herself to tell you. You managed to stay calm until you hung up, when you practically threw your phone onto the kitchen table and collapsed into a chair, tears pouring down your face as silent sobs wracked your body.

Jamie ran in at the sound of you crying, “Mom? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You shook your head, unable to speak. Jamie wordlessly wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you as you struggled to regain your voice. When you could finally breathe and relay the news you just received, you choked out, “Aunt Emily died last night.”

Then Jamie started crying too. He curled up into your shoulder and sobbed into your shirt, soaking you to the skin, almost like he was little again. You crumbled at the sound of his whines and cries. Every part of your chest ached with the weight of your grief. 

“What happened to her?” He finally whimpered.

“She has a dangerous job,” You didn’t even notice the tense you used, “A bad man was after her.”

“Well, is everyone else okay? What about Uncle Derek? What about Doc—”

“Everyone else is fine, baby, no one else was hurt. Doc’s fine.”

You sat still for God knows how long, silent, clutching each other like a lifeline, praying this was all just a dream and that you’d get a call from Emily telling you it was all some sick joke. Of course, you’d be furious with JJ, but at least there wouldn’t be a hole in your family where Emily had once been. 

Your mother came over to help you cook, the same role you had taken years prior while your father was sick. She consoled you and Jamie for the next two days and then drove you to the funeral. You got out of the car and walked in silence to the church, clutching Jamie’s hand as you entered. 

Aaron was the first at the door. He wasn’t one for hugs, but when he saw you, exhausted and barely standing, he pulled you and Jamie in tight. The hug was brief, but it helped, God, did it help. Dave was just behind him, and he didn’t hesitate. He ruffled Jamie’s hair and gave you a kiss on both cheeks. JJ was holding Henry in the corner, and Will gave you a weak smile. Derek and Penelope were holding one another, both shaking as they cried. Your grip on Jamie’s hand grew tighter, tighter, tighter until you saw him.

You then dropped Jamie’s hand as you ran over, arms open wide as your son followed close behind, “Spence--”

He returned your hug instantly, burying his face in your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t call--”

You felt Jamie join the hug, but you kept your head buried in Spencer’s chest, “No, I’m sorry too, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Me neither.” He pulled away, wiping away some tears and sniffling, “I’ve just been holed up in my room reading Vonnegut all for the past three days.”

Of course, “What books?”

“Mostly Slaughterhouse-Five, it was her--”

“Her favorite,” You nodded as you spoke the last part in unison with him.

“Yeah. I read it out loud just…” His voice cracked and the words looked painful to get out, “Just in case she could hear me.”

Your heart broke imagining him wrapped in blankets, eyes rimmed red as they glazed over the worn-out pages. You ached at the thought of his voice cracking just as it did before as he read for hours and hours, begging the universe to let Emily hear him, “She did. And she loved it.”

“I just hope she didn’t realize I was crying,” he muttered, and it shattered you, “She wouldn’t want us to cry for her.”

“You’re right, but I know she’d be unbelievably offended if we didn’t cry just a little bit,” Spencer’s tearful smile was enough to make you feel slightly better. There was still hope.

Your mom took Jamie home after the wake, knowing that you needed time with the team to feel like a person again. You went home with Spencer. He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

“You’re really good at taking care of me,” he smiled weakly, sipping the tea you made for him.

“Yeah, I had a good teacher.” Your mother was always there when you lost someone. You had your ups and downs, but she was a good mom.

“Does it get easier? Losing someone?”

“No. It always hurts just as bad,” you sigh, “But moving on used to be a lot harder.”

“Do you still miss him?”

“Of course I do, but less than I used to.” You still talked to your dad sometimes, something you did as a kid when he wasn’t home, just telling him about your day or narrating what you were doing. Even after all these years, you still found yourself explaining to no one that you had to run to store and buy bread to make Jamie’s lunch.

“I see little pieces of him everywhere I go. Jamie has the same exact smile. His favorite book when he was little was the same one my dad read to me. No one ever really leaves. Family, friends, they stick with us.”

“I’ve never lost a friend before. When Gideon left, I knew he was out there. Same with Elle. I could have Garcia find them right now and call them up to see how they’re doing, but Emily--” his voice cracked too much for him to want to continue, so he dropped it altogether.

“Did I ever tell you about my college roommate, Juliet?”

“No.”

“We were best friends. We did everything together: Movie nights, parties, all that. The night of our last final senior year, we decided to go clubbing to celebrate.”

You told him the whole story. The drinking, the dancing, the guy. You don’t remember his name, but you remember trusting him. He was sweet and Juliet liked him, so when she came to you at the bar after dancing with him telling you she was going home with him, you let her.

“I was happy for her! She had just gone through a breakup a few months before, so it was nice to see her getting some,” you let out a weak laugh, “I remember the last thing I said before she left was ‘Okay, have fun, call me in the morning, we’ll get brunch. I love you.’” Spencer winced, almost as if he knew where this story was going. Given his line of work, he was expecting far worse, but he at least knew that we didn’t get lunch the next morning.

“I went home a little bit later, I got bored, so I got a taxi home.”

You close your eyes and sigh deeply, “I’m in the back seat when I get a call. It was Juliet’s phone.”

“She wasn’t calling you, was she?”

“No, it was the police. Juliet didn’t have a good relationship with her parents, so I was her emergency contact.” You had to plan the funeral, invite her parents, look them in the eye and lie to them that Juliet wanted to make amends with them. The horrified guilt on their faces almost made it worth it, “The car she was in got t-boned when the guy ran a red light. He wasn’t as sober as we thought he was.”

“She didn’t make it.” Spencer guessed for you.

“No. She was dead before they got her out of the ambulance.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. If Juliet hadn’t…” You still couldn’t bring yourself to actually say it, “I wouldn’t have moved home, I wouldn’t have gotten back with Kyle, and I wouldn’t have Jamie. I don’t wanna tell you that something good will come out of this, because that’s a horrible thing to hear, but looking for an opportunity to find something good can’t hurt.”

“I can’t just look for something new when all i can think about is how I should have been able to help!”

“You really think I didn’t blame myself for what happened to Juliet? That every night for years after I thought I could have done something differently, and sure, I could have, but it’s not like I knew what was going to happen, and I couldn’t keep blaming myself.”

“It’s not the same, you don’t get it.” His fingers ghosted over old scars on his forearms, scars you didn’t want to think about where they came from.

“I do, Spencer. Emily was my friend too. And because she was my friend, I know she would never let you blame yourself for it. She knows you can’t save them all. All we can do is save ourselves,” you took his hand in yours, he still tensed up, “‘cuz that’s all the people we lose want us to do.”

He turned his head up from the floor and met your eyes. Once you gazed into those deep hazel irises, the tension in his hand melted away. His shoulders slumped, and he let out a deep breath, squeezing your hand like a lifeline, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Spence.”

“I’m sorry for snapping.”

“You apologize too much.” You had nearly forgotten exactly what he said to you that night in the hotel bar in Vegas all those years ago, but clearly, he hadn’t, he couldn’t, and he didn’t, because after a few moments of staring into your eyes and slowly drifting towards you in peaceful silence, he closed the gap between you both and kissed you.

Spencer Reid was kissing you.

This was happening.

Nearly two decades of being friends--

Years of being totally, ridiculously, and most importantly, cluelessly in love with each other, Spencer Reid was kissing you. You were almost so overjoyed at that moment as you started to kiss him back that you nearly forgot that your friend was dead and you were supposed to be comforting him. This wasn’t comfort, this was what Kyle did to you all those years ago.

You broke the kiss before he did something he’d regret, “Spence…”

“Oh my god,” he removed his hands from your face and shifted his entire body away from you, “I’m so sorry.” 

“No, don’t-”

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot!” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as his hands landed at the back of his neck, forcing his head to stare in his lap.

“No you’re not! Hey. Genius. Look at me.” He didn’t. “You’re not. You’re just in a bad place, I get it.”

“No you don’t. This time, you don’t.”

“What do you m—”

“Look, I don’t wanna kick you out but I really think you should leave.”

“Oh… yeah… sure… okay.” You slowly rose from the couch on weak knees. Whether it was from adrenaline or anxiety, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be! Just… please, take care of yourself?” You glance around the room for your belongings, “Shower, eat something, get some rest, please. And call me if you need anything--”

“Y/N, please, just go.”

You felt tears sting your eyes as you reached for the doorknob. You turned your head just enough to look over your shoulder to say, “Goodnight, pretty boy,” before you left. You closed the door behind you and leaned against it, breathing heavily. 

           (Spencer’s POV)

Why was I kicking her out?

Why was I telling her to leave?

Why was I pushing her away?

Why did I kiss her?

Why did she push me away?

Why did she call me “pretty boy?” She never--

The pieces fell into place as they often do, all at once with the force of a car slamming into a pole at fifty miles per hour. 

“Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”

“Goodnight, Princess.”

She remembered that night.

She remembered that night when I drove her home and put her to bed and--

And I told her I had a crush on her in high school.

And I almost said I loved her.

And I almost kissed her then.

God, I wish I had. Any time would have been better than now.

          (Reader POV)

You didn’t know you could miss someone so much while they were behind just one door. You could’ve turned around right then and knocked and waited for him to be ready to talk about what just happened. About him kissing you. About you kissing back. About you stopping him. About that drunken night when you let it slip how pretty you thought he was.

You should’ve just waited.

But you couldn’t stand to be that close to him while he wanted to be as far away from you as possible.

So you ran.

You practically sprinted down the stairs and out of his building as quickly as you could, getting in your car and pulling out of the parking lot and getting the fuck away before you hurt anyone else, including yourself.

          (Spencer POV)

I couldn’t just let her walk out like that.

I had to say something.

I had to go after her.

I had to get her back.

I needed her.

But when I opened the door, it was like she had never been there. 

I leaned on my door frame staring at the staircase down the hall, wishing I had the energy to run after her, to catch her before she reached her car, to stop her from driving away, to tell her I was sorry, to beg her to please, please, come back upstairs and talk to me, but my feet were fixed to the floor and my legs were weak. I just closed my door with my back and slid down to the floor, unable to bring myself to cry anymore. I sat there for god knows how long until I found the energy to crawl over to the coffee table where I had left my phone, picked it up, and dialed a number.

          (Reader POV)

You jumped slightly at the sound of your phone ringing, you shuffled through your bag in the passenger seat, desperately trying to find it before the light turned green. Some foolish part of your mind told you it was Spencer, you wished it was Spencer, you wanted nothing more than to turn your car around and talk it all out with him, tell him you were sorry, that you loved him, that you needed him, but your heart sank when you looked at the screen and saw the number.

It was a just fucking spam call.

You threw your phone back in your seat and beat your fists against the steering wheel, groaning and wishing the fucking light would just turn green already. When it finally did, you slammed on the gas a bit too quickly, sending the car jolting forward. You barely stopped the entire rest of the ride home, the universe must have sensed your impatience. As you finally pulled into your driveway, your skull felt as though it was packed with cotton, your tear tracks drying on your cheeks.

You raced up the steps to your door, fussing with the keys and trying to unlock the door as quickly and quietly as possible. You inevitably made noise as you entered, prompting a light to turn on in the living room. Your mom rose from the couch she had been sleeping on, her face dropping from annoyed to concerned.

“Toots, you’re home already? I thought you wouldn’t be back until morning.”

You had thought that you were fresh out of tears, but apparently, you still had more to spare, seeing as you broke the second the words left her mouth.

“Oh my, what happened?” She raced towards you, wrapping you in a hug, “Is Spencer okay? Did something happen?”

As confused and sad as you were, you couldn’t stop the smile that had suddenly appeared on your face, “He kissed me.”

“He what?” She broke the hug, holding your face in her hands and wiping tears off of your cheeks, “Then honey, why on Earth are you here?”

          (Spencer POV)

“You kicked her out? Why?”

“Why do you think I called you, Jennifer? What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“Well, what exactly happened?”

“I freaked out, she came over, we talked, I,” I took a deep breath and braced myself for her reaction, “I kissed her—”

She almost choked on her coffee, “And you didn’t lead with that? Don’t you think that’s a little important?” 

“I was trying to avoid reliving it for as long as possible.”

“You’ve wanted this since high school, why wouldn’t you want to relive it?”

“She pulled away.” There was no anger or sadness behind my words. I don’t sound hurt as I recount the scene, “She took my hand, I kissed her, she stopped me.”

JJ’s hand brushed over my shoulder and I flinched away slightly.

“I apologized immediately, she wasn't mad or anything, I just…” I trailed off, unable to admit that I just couldn’t look at her anymore. I never thought I’d get tired of seeing her face, but I had needed her to leave. When she pulled away, all I could think about was the sound of Alexa Lisbon sneering at me as Kyle and his goons tied me to that goal post.

“She wanted to help me, and I know she did, but…”

“She couldn’t.” JJ finished my sentence.

I shook my head, “Not this time.”

“But now you want her to come back?”

“And I don’t know how to tell her that because I fucked up.”

“What did she say after you told her to leave? Did she just go?”

          (Reader POV)

“I told him not to feel bad and to take care of himself.” You hadn’t had time to tell him how much you wanted to kiss him but neither one of you was in the right state of mind for that. 

“Right, yeah, and did he say anything else?”

You winced at the memory of how his voice sounded. “He kept telling me to leave, so I just went for the door and said--”

          (Spencer POV)

“‘Goodnight, pretty boy,’” I grumbled, “That was the last thing she said.”

“Okay?”

“She never calls me Pretty Boy.” I told her the whole story. When I was done, her eyebrows were drawn together and lips were pressed together in a thin, worried line uttering, “Spence…”

“What?”

She sighed, saying nothing and smirking slightly to herself, but saying nothing.

“Jennifer.”

“She loves you, genius.”

“Then why’d she leave?”

“Because you told her to. And…” she hesitated, almost scared to say anything else. I was scared to hear it. JJ took my coffee away and dumped it down the sink, a silent indicator that I had enough and needed to go to bed.

She turned back to me and leaned over the table again, making sure I'd look her in the eyes, “She’d do anything for you.”

I just stared down on my hands on the table, unable to say another word, unable to defend myself, unable to fight anymore.

Because I knew she was right.

Taglist~~~

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[jusvibbbin]

Act like a Human

Phlox x Reader

//For my friend yet again @the-sleepy-sheep​

//Read her work @starfleet-jelly

Life on the Enterprise was often full of excitement and adventure. But even out in the final frontier, there were mellow days. On one such day, you were heading towards sick bay to visit your resident Denobulan. It had been a few days since you had seen him, and from what you heard he’d barely left his work space. You often assisted with his animals, being the xenobiologist you were but he hadn’t called to see you in quite some time. Your curiosity was beyond peaked as you got closer to sickbay.

The doors swished open when you pressed the button, and the sound of waltz music drifted out into the corridor. You looked around and not seeing the doctor, you walked behind the wall built in the middle of the room. The music was coming from the console on the counter and as you rounded the corner, you were greeted with a spectacular sight.

The renowned Doctor Phlox was dancing. It looked like a traditional waltz, only he was completely alone. You only had a few seconds before he turned to face you and hastily shut off the music. You stifled your chuckle with a cough and walked back around the wall. After a moment Phlox appeared, looking more than a little embarrassed.

“Ahem, (Y/N), I would appreciate your utmost discretion with what you just saw,” Phlox said quickly.

You smiled at him saying, “Of course, doc. But why were you dancing?”

His eyes refused to meet yours as his hands fidgeted awkwardly. You waved your hand and started to walk out.

“That’s alright. I don’t want to pry into… whatever it is you’re doing.” You pressed the button to open the door and strolled out. This was far from over.

--

A couple days later you saw Phlox sitting with Hoshi in the mess hall. You grabbed your tray and took a seat at their table. Hoshi continued their conversation, barely giving you a wave as she prattled on about something. 

But the doctor looked immediately uncomfortable with your presence and started to eat faster so he could leave. There was a small pause in talking so you jumped in.

“Doctor, I would love to hear more about your experiment,” you said, a smirk on your face. Phlox’s eyes went wide and he was about to say something when the Captain’s voice interjected from above.

“All senior staff to the bridge.”

You heard Phlox mumble, “Saved by the bell,” and he and Hoshi took their leave. As they walked away, and you started to eat, you heard Hoshi question the doctor on his experiment. He shot a look back at you before they disappeared into the corridor.

--

You had messed with the doctor before. He was easy to joke around with and was often carefree when they were sometimes at his expense. But this time he really did seem offended when you poked fun at him. You felt bad.

So to make up for it, you snuck into the kitchen and made him one of your favorites: Tres Leches. It took about two hours but your hard work paid off. It looked delicious. You had finished pretty late but you knew Phlox would be up. 

You carefully walked to sickbay, thankful there were less people to run into than normal.

You walked into the mostly darkened room, the only light coming from a few of Phlox’s pet cages. You set the dessert on a table and looked around for the doctor. After a moment, he came out from where his private quarters were, jumping slightly when he saw you.

“(Y/N)! You scared me,” he chuckled as he walked over. His eyes fell on the Tres Leches and he looked at you confused.

You rubbed your arm and avoided his gaze.

“I just wanted to apologize for, sort of, bringing up what I saw the other day. I didn’t realize how important it was to you so I’m sorry.”

Phlox looked surprised and you felt more and more embarrassed.

“Well, enjoy!” you said, quickly turning and walking to the door.

You were halfway out when Phlox called to you.

“Wait, maybe you can help me with my… experiment.”

You turned back to him and he gave you a slightly more relaxed smile. You walked back over to him and he handed you a PADD with a list on it. You read it, occasionally looking up at him with confusion.

“What’s this for Phlox?”

He smiled sheepishly. “I’ve noticed that the crew here seem to be much more comfortable with my presence than some of my colleagues in San Francisco. I figured it would be good to learn some more human activities, customs and history.”

“And you want my help to check off this list?” you asked, smiling at some of the things he had written.

“If you wouldn’t mind. Some of them are a bit difficult to do alone,” he said, a small blush appearing on his face. At least it looked like he was blushing, you couldn’t be sure with alien physiology.

“I’d love to! What’s first?”

--

The next few days your off-duty hours were spent with the ship’s doctor. You cooked some authentic earth foods (pasta, burgers, pizza, you name it!) in your quarters, occasionally swiping from the kitchen. Once each meal was cooked, you watched some classic earth cinema. While Trip’s movie nights were fun, he didn’t really deviate from movies he enjoyed. So you compiled a list of movies that were beloved at the time of their release. Everything from the Matrix to Snow White, and Phlox liked almost all of them.

But the most fun you had was when you spent an evening trying on earth clothes from other eras. The 40s suits, the 70s hot pants, and the 90s denim on denim; all of it looked ridiculous on the hanger and on the two of you. The amount of laughter that echoed through your quarters was immeasurable.

You showed Phlox lots of weird earth sports and the odd things humans did in greeting, passing or in celebration. He found the high-five to be particularly strange, but by the end of the night you two had a secret handshake.

The list had gotten incredibly small and you soon found yourselves back to what started your odd little hangouts.

Dancing.

Phlox had told you that while the Denobulans had many lovers and were a tight-knit race, they did not usually show appreciation for one another with physical affection. The idea of dancing was completely foreign to him.

“Dancing is just, dancing,” you said. “I don’t know how else to think of it! You just kind of feel the music, you know?”

He looked at you, quite puzzled.

“I’ll show you,” you exclaimed as you looked through the computer to find a playlist of yours. Once you found a song with a fast enough beat, you began to dance. You weren’t good or bad, more so focused on the feel of it than the technicality. Phlox simply watched in fascination as you bumped along to the music.

When the song started to change to another one you said, “Try it!”

He looked a bit uncomfortable but he moved over to the open space you had made in sickbay and attempted to copy you. You laughed and he soon joined you, realizing how silly you both looked. After a couple songs you were both exhausted from dancing and laughing at one another.

The song changed once again, to something slower and softer. A waltz. You looked over at the Denobulan and smiled, offering your hand.

“How would you like to try it with a partner?”

You were surprised when he grabbed your hand and quickly pulled you flush against him, positioning both your hands to make the frame. He seemed to shock himself as well since he paused after doing so, looking at you, searching for some kind of objection. He found none.

Gently you both began to sway to the music, eyes never leaving each other. 

His box step was pretty good from all that practice and he was amused every time you stepped on his feet. The song ended all too quickly, but neither of you let go.

You put your hands on his chest and leaned your head against his neck. Phlox ran a hand gently up and down your back. His other hand came up to lift your chin.

“May I?” he asked gently.

You nodded and he quickly captured your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. After a moment he pulled away and you looked up at him, smiling. You touched his cheek softly, and he smiled at you.

“This is my favorite human custom,” he said as he kissed you again.

Tag List: @elen-aranel​ @livenerdyandprosper​

[catsnkooks]

Home

Hi hello there, one of your asks inspired me and I got hit over the head with this idea for Rex x doc fem!reader that wouldn’t leave me alone until all 2.3k of it was written. I’ve never posted a fic before, and I felt more comfortable submitting it for your consideration rather than throwing it into the void. Also I have no idea how the formatting transferred over so apologies if it’s messed up. Anyway, here’s a fic with some definite pandemic themes, oral (f receiving), unprotected intercourse (reader has a birth control implant), uhhh I think that’s it. This is v soft. 

Please enjoy. It’s called Home.

The key and the lock struggled, as usual, with you having to try it four times to get into your apartment. If this didn’t finish off your patience, nothing could. It had been three weeks now since you had had a day off, and two since you had managed to sleep without being interrupted by some poor trainee’s panicked phone call. But tonight? Tonight, you were going to sleep. You finally had a colleague join you in the medical center, and the trainees were under strict instructions to ‘leave Doc alone unless the entire center had literally exploded and someone lived long enough to literally find a speeder, grab her, and drag her here’. You opened the door and dropped your shoulder bag in the tub you kept by the door and opened your small bleach solution bucket. Decon time.  

You started with your shoes, toeing them off with the door still open, shaking them into the bleach to soak overnight. Next came your scrubs, pursing your lips and closing your eyes to minimize contact with the fabric. Into the disposable bag they went, followed by your socks and undergarments. To the sink you went, washing your hands and grabbing the disinfectant spray for your bag. You hosed it off and picked up your clothes bag; to the washing machine with them.  

After starting the wash cycle, you made your way to the ‘fresher, ready to wash the day off both literally and figuratively. 

“Kriff!” 

The sudden pain in your poor toes gave you pause, interrupting your autopilot cycle. You clicked on the hall light and were met with a neat pile of armor with familiar blue paint.  

Rex was home.  

But you were too tired to do anything other than produce a soft smile. You wanted your shower and you wanted your bed, now with the welcome addition of your sweet trooper, home for who knows how long. You side stepped the pile and went on to get the water heating up. The welcome water drifted through your hair and over your face, making you groan softly with the small pleasure. You took your time washing, scrubbing over every inch with suds and a sponge you would throw out immediately. 

No one knew what was making the clones sick, but it was everywhere, and it was spreading to the populations of several systems that the clones had never been in the first place. As one of the senior providers in the med bay known for a cool head and soothing personality, you had been pulled to the isolation units and tasked with keeping the sickest clones alive until a cause and cure could be found. It was easier said than done, and you would be damned if you brought it home and hurt someone you loved dearly. 

So, you scrubbed and rinsed and scrubbed again, thankful Rex was still asleep and not trying to ‘help’ as he would call it. Make you panic thinking he would get sick was a more accurate description of what he would be doing. 

You turned off the water and grabbed your towel, drying off and brushing your teeth before pulling on your sweatshirt. 

You crept into the bedroom, tonight somewhat illuminated with the curtains open, allowing you to see the lights of the city. It was enough you could see Rex sleeping on his side of the bed, having moved your pillow from the center. Your dark blue weighted blanket was relegated to the floor. Leaning against the doorway for a moment, you watched the captain sleep, resting on his side facing the windows. Straightening up, you walked over and slipped under the covers, careful not to interrupt the stillness and wake him up. It would be enough to feel the warmth he radiated, comforted by him just being there. Your plan to let him sleep almost worked. 

“You could have said hello ya know,” came his sleep thickened voice from the other side of the bed. 

“Yeah, but you looked so sweet drooling all over the pillow,” you teased. 

“Oh, come on now,” came the reply as he rolled over to face you.

“Hello.” 

 You ran your fingers across his cheek, stealing a quick kiss as you did. He leaned into you, planting a soft kiss on your palm. 

 “Hello.”

 You scooted closer to him, head resting on his chest and arm moving to drape over him. 

 “I’m so glad yo—” a yawned interrupted you. “So glad you’re here,” you finished. 

“I didn’t think they were ever going to let me off that maker-forsaken cruiser. I was so sure we were going to be dropped back on Ryloth before I could get back here to you.”

“Well, luckily we figured out how long it takes for you all to show signs. You’re welcome, by the way.” 

“My clever doc.” He kissed your forehead as your eyelids got heavier, sleep threatening to take over. 

Before you could whisper another sweet everything, sleep overtook you. Rex chuckled, adjusting slightly so his arm didn’t go numb overnight and drifted off too. 

***

You woke gently, early morning sunlight streaming into your room, generating an ethereal glow and making you perk up slowly like the plants in your windowsill as you stretched gently. Wait, plants, you could see the plants, Rex! Where was Rex? 

A ripple of pleasure caught you off guard, eliciting a soft sigh and finally bringing your attention to the calloused hands softly stroking your hips, the warm tongue laving at your clit. You gripped the covers and flipped them back, exposing a smiling, shirtless, blonde clone resting between your legs. You really had gotten used to sleeping sprawled out. 

“Mornin’ love,” he whispered, crawling over you to kiss you softly. You groaned at the taste of him mixed with you. 

“Good morning, indeed.” You deepened the kiss, running your nails over his scalp and down to his shoulders, before reaching down to pull your sweatshirt off. 

“Ah ah ah, not yet, c’yare.” He caught your wrists, twining his fingers with yours. “We’ve got all the time in the galaxy today and I intend to use every bit of it. Just relax for now.” 

Guiding your hands back to the bed, he slid down to where you had found him. He gently grabbed your calves, moving your knees a bit further apart and resting them on the bed, your feet landing on the small of his back so that there was no pressure on your joints. 

 “Comfortable, c’yare? If you need to adjust let me know.” 

 “Mm, never better, love.” You grabbed his pillow as you spoke, propping up so you could watch him without putting strain on your back. 

 He stared at you now that he could see, not covered in blankets anymore. Your cheeks warmed, but he was looking with such reverence you couldn’t be embarrassed. His thumbs gently guided your lips apart, giving his tongue free rein to resume its ministrations. Starting at your entrance, he lapped softly, making his way up to your clit, circling twice before making his way back down and starting again. You sighed quietly at the attention, wanting more but at the same time never wanting him to stop this. 

 Rex added a finger to the little dance, teasing your entrance while his tongue circled your clit, swapping when he licked back down. After the fourth pass, he slipped his finger all the way in, and you accepted him easily after so much attention and time away from him. A second followed shortly after, both sliding along your walls, crooking just slightly and causing your hips to buck as he found that one place easily. He knew you. 

 “Rex,” his name left you like a prayer, the only thing you had begged the maker for since this whole disaster had started weeks before. Him.

 "It’s okay, c’yare, I’m here now.” He looked up at you and smiled, lips shining with you, hand still moving in and out, knowing he had you on the edge. He lapped at your clit, picking up speed slightly to finish you off. Your orgasm spread through you slowly like lava on a flat road, melting you further into the bed. You sighed softly as he slid his fingers out, careful not to overstimulate you yet. “I had almost forgotten how quiet you can be in the morning, thank you for reminding me.”

 “Oh, get up here and kiss me like you mean it already.” 

 He threaded his fingers in yours, gently bringing your hands over your head as he kissed you deeply. His chin was wet but you didn’t care. He was here, in your bed, in your home, kissing you again. His tongue slid over yours, showing just as much attention to you here. His hands left yours and stroked your hair before coming to cup your face. He pulled back, eyes locking with yours while his thumb stroked your cheek. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him flush to you. 

 “I missed you so much, love.” 

 “I know, c’yare. I know. The whole time I was on that cruiser, all I could think about was getting home to you and trying to figure how I was going to do that without getting you sick.” 

 “I was so scared you had gotten it. News about the 212th was all anyone would give, no one would tell me where you were. All they would say is ‘the 501st is under isolation orders on a cruiser’. They wouldn’t say which one, what systems you had been to since this all started, how many of you were sick, none of it!” You couldn’t stop the tears that started building when you were reminded of the worry that had slithered under your skin, eating away at the back of your mind while you focused on trying to find a treatment algorithm for all the other victims. 

“C’yare, it’s okay. None of us are sick. Somehow, we got off the infected planets before it started spreading quickly. They had us in isolation for the incubation period to make sure, but all of us are fine, even Fives and Echo if you can believe that miracle.”

 You couldn’t help yourself, you smiled and kissed him again. He was here now and that was all that mattered. Before he could protest, you made some space and shucked your sweatshirt. You moaned at finally feeling his warm skin on yours. Your hand found the side of his neck as you let your lips migrate to his ear and as far down his neck as you could reach comfortably. 

 He groaned and his had found your breast, cupping it and giving a gentle squeeze before his thumb swiped over your nipple, pebbling under the attention. He turned to capture your lips again, slowly moving down so he could gently kiss at your throat, making you whine. His other hand moved to down your chest and stomach to your hip, where it came to rest. His lips moved a little lower, sucking a mark where it met your collarbone. 

 “Mm, do that again.”

 “I don’t want to get you in trouble, c’yare.”

 “I have at least a week off, more if I’m lucky. Do it again.”

 “Doc, you know I can’t say no to you.” He starting nibbling and sucking on your delicate skin in earnest, scattering marks along both sides of your collarbone, before biting softly on the meat of your shoulder. You gasped as he let his hips rest on yours for a moment, reminding you that he still had pants on, a crime if ever there was one. 

“Rex, let me see you.”

 He groaned both in anticipation and frustration at your words, stopping what he was doing to roll over and get his pants off, erection slipping free and giving you just enough to time to straddle him. 

 “Gotcha.” You laughed as he brought his hands up behind his head. 

 “Ah, it would seem you do. Now that you’ve got me, what do you intend to do with me?”

 “Oh, a little of this a little of that,” you teased, running your nails down his chest, tweaking his nipples. One hand left its place and trailed down to palm him, eliciting a low groan. You adjusted your grip, swiping your thumb over his glans, using the slick he had produced to ease your hands journey. 

 “Kriff,” he groaned. You knew him. 

 He sat up, rolling over to pin you underneath him, fitting himself against you like he was made for you. He finally, finally, slid into you, eliciting a deep groan from the both of you. He rested his forehead against yours and you both stilled, breathing each other in. After a moment, you moved your head slightly, kissing him again. Rex moved slowly, savoring the feel of you around him and under him and on his lips. He pressed the heel of one palm to your mound, while one of your fingers made its way to your clit. He let his lips trail over to your ear, teasing the shell.

 “Are you going to come again, c’yare?” 

 The best you could done was moan in response, your orgasm washing over you as he started to move faster. He kept moving as you wrapped your arms around him again, kissing him deeply. His hips stuttered, the only sign he was close. 

 “Please, love, please come for me.” And that was it. He stilled, burying his face in your neck. 

 “I missed you, mesh’la. So much.” 

 “I know, Rex. I know.” 

 He lifted himself off of you, stepping quickly to the ‘fresher, or so you thought. He came back with two glasses of ice water, and a cloth for good measure. He set the glasses on the cloth on the nightstand before climbing back into the bed with you. You adjusted the pillows and sheets, making a place for the two of you. Home.

---

omg!!! i am so honored that you would send me something!!!!

this is sooooo good..........rex............ily.................

[jake-willow-writes]

Red Gold

A cold breeze swept into the coffee shop as an old lady pushed the glass doors open. The stale winter air mingled with the sweet fragrance that my hot macchiato gave off and crept up my nostrils, making them flare uncontrollably. I took a sip of the brown liquid, which flooded my mouth with rich flavors within seconds. Successful in containing my excitement, I let out a soft sigh of satisfaction.

It has been years since I have last visited this coffee shop but I still vividly remember the heavenly taste of their macchiato. Something that I loved as much as their coffee was their 'Thursday Surprise', which always comprised of a cup of espresso, a piece of plain toast and a small, slightly overbaked donut. I was sixteen when it came to my attention that the element of surprise in this weekday special really did say a lot about this small town of ours. Despite its mediocrity, my heart was still attached to this place. This, perhaps, was the reason why the confinement was such a big deal to me: I was torn away from my birth town.

"Geez, Nathan Herber, you know you weren't supposed to drink that!"

A muffled voice with a thick Australian accent exclaimed. Nearly choking on my coffee, I looked up and found Tyler behind the door, hollering. I was quick to put away the cup as he came up to me with an agitated look.

"No food or drink. You know the rules."

He was panting when he found himself a seat across the table. I knew I was in trouble, but he did not know that yet. It was his first day at work, which meant I could probably get away with breaking a few rules by laying down one or two meticulously crafted excuses. Flashing him an awkward smile, I handed my coffee over and offered,

"Try it. It's good."

Tyler, who was boiling with rage at the moment, rejected my gesture of kindness by pushing the cup to his side.

"See, I don't want to lose my job because of you. Do you know how hard it is to find a job nowadays?"

Protested Tyler as he gave me a menacing glare.

"You can't blame me for not knowing how messed up the economy is when I only get to come out two hours every month," I shrugged and continued, "and let's just say a tiny cup of coffee won't cost you your job. Alex lets it slide all the time."

Alex has been my bodyguard for two years by now. Suffering from a mild flu, he called in sick today lest he should pass the illness onto anyone else. As a replacement, Tyler was sent in to watch over me on my 'cheat day'. As a senior member of the shelter, Alex had the regulations engraved on his mind. He was excruciatingly strict about my diet for the first couple months but over the course of these two years, he has slowly come to realize that the shelter was being overprotective and sympathized with my situation. His compassion, albeit much appreciated, meant nothing in the face of the rules imposed by the shelter.

At the end of day, I was still prohibited from consuming anything while I was out on the streets. Now that Alex was on leave, I was able to regain control of my life for a day or two without having to worry about accidentally throwing him under the bus.

I could tell Tyler was unconvinced from the way he furrowed his brows. A weak grunt escaped his lips when I interrupted with a suggestion,

"I won't blame you for being worried. How about we just keep this a secret, one that's only between you and me?"

Carefully considering my offer, he leaned back with his arms crossed. His features contorted like a vortex as if the idea I was presenting was shaving bits and pieces off his sanity. The sound of his phone ringing was what released him from his misery. I could barely hear who was talking on the other end but somehow, I was certain that this caller was up to no good. After what seemed like ages, Tyler slipped the phone back into his pocket and slammed his fist against the wooden table,

"Dr. Jensen said there's an emergency and that you need to return to the shelter this instant. I told you this was a bad idea, I told you!"

During the walk back to the shelter, I could hardly breathe as though my lungs had been crushed by a giant boulder. Shivering at the thought of Dr. Jensen running all the possible tests on me, I gagged and grunted like a drunk man at the Oktoberfest. With all the equipment in the laboratory, they could easily tell there was caffeine coursing through my veins. Sometimes I wondered how the advancement of technology was a bliss to the world, but was an absolute hazard for me. Everything just seemed so unfair: how the government treated me, how I was always the lab rat, how I had to live under this curse.

My attempt to sneak back to my room was proven unsuccessful when the guards flagged me down at the hallway. Their helmets might have helped them mask the disdainful expression on their face, but it did little in muffling their scoffs. It appeared that the entire facility knew I did something that I should not have done and now the karma has come. Tyler must have called the securities when I stowed away at the coffee shop. He thought the department was on his side and would not inform the researchers – he thought wrong, for betrayal is common among these days.

I was greeted with a spray of antibacterial white fume when I stepped into the laboratory. A piercing tune composed of mechanical cacophonies and rackets could be heard when I advanced further into the place. Upon my entrance, Dr. Jensen turned to face me in his swivel chair, his face dark as the night sky. Meeting his gaze sent a wave of uneasiness through my body as if ants were crawling all over my pale skin. I ran my fingers through the bed of straw resting on my head in hopes of alleviating the itchiness on my scalp.

"This is not good. Not good at all..."

I muttered gingerly under my breath.

"You're correct, Mr. Herber. This isn't looking promising, for yourself and for the world."

Dr. Jensen suggested as he tapped his fingers on the arms of the chair. He was listening carefully to every word I was mumbling, that was how I knew I was in for some deep trouble. I bit back a hiss and backed away from the anger burning in his eyes. Leaning against the wall, I let out a nervous laughter,

"Hah, I thought you said the lab was renovating and wouldn't need me here for a while."

I looked around without moving my head like a toddler frozen in terror. The old furniture in the room was wrapped in white linen cloths and most of the experimental equipment was stored in cardboard boxes that stacked up neatly on the floor.

"I find it interesting how you can recall this place is under renovation, Mr. Herber. I thought you couldn't remember anything, including the rules imposed by the shelter."

Dr. Jensen could barely hold back the fury in his voice. Both his tone and his gaze were as sour as an unripe lemon. Pointing to the stool next to him, he signaled me to take a seat while he continued his lesson.

"You know how important your blood is. The entire world is counting on you. Why can't you just be a tiny bit more responsible?"

The bitterness in his voice took a sharp turn and became motherly with a hint of sweetness within. Caught off-guard by this sudden change of tone, I apologized like a kid who just stole candy from his mother's pocket,

"I'm sorry I let you down, doc. I really liked coffee though and you guys wouldn't let me have it here."

After hearing what I had for the day, Dr. Jensen shook his head in a disapproving manner and sighed regretfully. His eyes returned to the monitor sitting on the desk and let his fingers fly across the keyboard, recording what I have consumed.

"Do you not know caffeine is poison?" Dr. Jensen's frown stood out from his wrinkled complexion, "How could you allow that thing to enter your body?"

Now a needle was stuck in my arm, taking samples from my blood. The crimson liquid trailed along the tube connected to the machine that was responsible for analyzing the plasma. He stared at the screen, frowning at the glaring warning that my blood was tainted with the chemical C8H10N4O2. I was trying to explain myself when the doctor stopped me with a raised hand.

"No more excuses, mister."

He said bluntly as another laboratory staff, Dr. Marx came in through the door.

"Oh right. It's you again, Mr. Troublemaker. I can't believe that's what we get for trying to keep you safe."

Marx's intent stare was shimmering under the light, a bright contrast to his bad mood.

"Hello, Dr. Marx," I replied plainly, "You know, I'm very grateful that you guys saved me from the government, but it's just coffee. I don't understand what the fuss is all about. A cup of coffee's not going to hurt anyone."

He gave me a taut smile, which quickly faded as he started toward me,

"If you think it's not that big of a deal, how about we just send you back to Washington?"

The memory of me being held captive flooded my mind. All of a sudden, the walls around me shook and shifted, turning from white to deep gray. I knew this place like the back of my hand: this was my cell in the government facility. This place has always made me felt like I was behind bars, but only worse. A prison mate might get to experience the joy of having sunlight caress his or her skin every day, but all I ever got to come into contact with was the cold touch of artificial lighting as they took my blood for further research.

We cannot afford the chance of you developing skin cancer, that was what they said.

Every day they sampled my blood, trying to unravel the mystery behind the power of the liquid.

"It's like the fucking panacea! How is this even possible?"

The government scientists exclaimed in exhilaration after they have first examined what they have taken out of my body. Rounds and rounds of studies confirmed that the miracle was actually the results of a mutation.

I have once taken a peek of the researchers' journal and saw this written on the page labeled 'Mechanism and Discovery'.

The subject has undergone a mutation that causes its cells to produce a toxin lethal to all known bacteria and viruses. From what was observed, the toxin is capable of breaking down the cell membrane or the protein coat of the antigen and releasing an enzyme to digest the cell content of said antigen. It is unlikely that running more tests on the subject would reveal the exact mechanism of this immunology reaction, but we could try and replicate the toxin that the subject releases. The discovery of this substance could very possibly save lives that are threatened by viral or bacterial infections.

This short passage has haunted me for the remainder of the days spent in the facility. Knowing that they would not give up studying the secret behind my blood, I was almost certain that I would have to spend the rest of my life being studied. Every time that thought appeared in my mind, I would ram my head against the walls of the cell, hoping it would either make the desperate idea go away or it would kill me and I would be out of this misery. In response to my suicidal actions, cushions were pinned to the walls so I could still bang my head on the wall without bleeding to my death.

The first time I held a shimmer of hope in my heart was when I heard the facility was under the ambush of an organization called 'The Shelter'. Despite the loud gunshots that were echoing throughout the corridors, I was thrilled to bits. Hiding at the corner of my cell, I was imagining myself running through the streets of Irvine, heading back home and throwing myself into my family's arms. It was no more than half an hour before the staff from the shelter found me sitting on the floor, giggling like a maniac.

By the time they got me back on my feet, the raid was almost over. Without a second thought, I pointed out the location of the closest exit and headed out the facility through the back door. My heart was filled with joy as I fled this literal hell that has held me for way too long. The soldier escorted us as we ran across the parking lot hastily. With an excited leap, I got onto the shelter's rescue helicopter. I found it hard to settle down with my emotions on a roller coaster, but eventually I calmed myself down and told them my story. After hearing what I had to say, they promised to take me back to my hometown under the condition that I would not expose myself to the public as much as possible. They explained to me that the government would be watching us constantly and that they would do anything to capture me again. At first, I was rather reluctant to agree to their terms, but thinking of how I could possibly return to my family, I saw no better choice than saying yes.

And so, I joined the shelter.

Snapped back into reality by a stern warning, I heard Jensen and Marz restated for the millionth time that I was not supposed to consume any food products while I was away from the structure. Considering how they would probably put cuffs on me if l told them the truth that there would be a day when they would have to repeat that statement for the million and first time, I nodded dubiously and steered away from the black clouds on their head.

When I exited the laboratory, the same horrible, machine-composed symphony bade me farewell. Accompanied by two guards, I stalked back to my room and stayed in bed for the next few hours. Taking blood samples was exhausting, especially when you are the one being stung by the needle. After being examined for so many times, I would expect myself to get used to the pain, but I never did. Even just back then, the pain was still as fresh as the first time I made acquaintance with the sharp, silvery spike.

It was 7 PM when I woke up to a weird sense of stiffness in my neck. Dr. Marx had talked to me about my improper sleeping position, but I never paid any attention to him. As I craned my neck, the ache at the back of head intensified, which made me flinch a little. I remembered how my mother would massage my shoulders whenever this happened and started rubbing the aching spot with my wrist. I could not tell whether it was the idea of home or the massage that made my neck feel better, but it did the job anyway.

I had been through a lot of 'cheat days', but I never got the chance to go back home. The shelter said my parents had moved and they could not trace the location of their new home. I figured they could not manage the sudden disappearance of their son and so they decided to leave this place resided by nothing but empty memories. Staring into the picture of my family that was hung on the wall right in front of my bed, I reminded myself that I must stay hopeful and perhaps one day, I would get to see them again. I missed my mother's vegetable stew, which was made with broccoli, carrots and potatoes. To be very honest, it was not that exciting of a dish, but it was better than anything I could ask for in the shelter. I had a piece of cornbread and went back to sleep soon after.

A gentle knock sounded at my door the next morning: it was Alex. He told me that one of the new staff got fired and that he felt bad for the guy. All that came tumbling out my lips was a guilty "okay..."

"So what are you planning on doing today?"

He asked me with a smile that resembled the warmth of the sun. I shrugged and pursed my lips,

"Don't know. Haven't got anything on my mind. Don't you think it would be cool if I could get two cheat days every month? That would be the dream of my life."

He raised his eyebrow as if he had just heard something preposterous.

"I know, I know. It's not gonna happen, but I can dream, okay?"

I threw my hands up in the air and complained jokingly. He mirrored my actions and said defensively,

"Okay, sure. There's one thing you gotta know though, and that is I have a lot of work to catch up on today. If you've got nothing to do, I guess you could possibly help me out?"

I was always treated as a 'friend whose also serves as an experimental subject' (The postmodifier was the important part). This was the very first time anyone has ever assigned me to a mission ever since my arrival to the shelter. Stoked, I pushed aside the covers and jumped to my feet like a child on Christmas day and asked,

"What is it?"

Flashing me the famous 'Alex grin', he put his hand on both of my shoulders and said,

"I need you to fetch some paperwork for me. The security department is having skeleton staff at the moment. You know where to get the documents, right?"

I nodded at such a profuse intensity that my neck started hurting again. After I told him that I'll meet him at the security office once I have got everything done, I burst through the door and perambulated down the hallway and entered the printing room.

The interior of the room was a complete mess. Papers of different sizes were stacked all the way up to the ceiling. The only illumination to the place was provided by a tiny yellow lamp standing on the coffee table in the center of the room. Walking over to the corner where the printer quietly sat, I took a few A4-sized papers and shoved it into the machine. With a brisk click on the on the computer mouse, I selected the file of the document that Alex wanted and started the printing process. Despite the old age of the printer, it was working at a considerable speed, spewing out documents steady. I paced around the room as I waited impatiently for the papers to be ready.

The combination of dim lights and the sound of paper flying out of the printer was almost hypnotizing. Soon I was lost in my own thoughts, only brought back to the moment when a sharp pain traveled up my body. "Ouch!" I cried as I stubbed my toe against one of those paper towers. It swayed violently, threatening to fall over and smack me in the face as retribution for not watching where I was going. At last, the tower had mercy on me and stopped swinging. Now it was looking like the leaning tower of Pisa, with most of its weight shifted to the right.

Carefully, I moved under the roof made of documents and unused paper and attempted to give the pile a little push. With several meticulous nudges, the papers edging out slid back into place, which proceeded to reveal a research form with my name on it. I was not authorized to handle research archives but after all, this document was about me. I felt like Eve, that I was betraying mankind just to quench my curiosity.

"The apple was dangling right in front of me and it would be a shame not to take it"

The serpent inside my head whispered in my ear. They couldn't possibly know me better than I know myself, right? I thought to myself and extracted the document from the dangerous spire coyly.

I quickly lost interest after reading the first few pages. The paper was mostly about how my body functions and described the capability of my blood. It also featured a bunch of words that I did not know how to pronounce, which led me to think that scientists are all just show-offs disguised as professionals. When I was about to put down the paper, my peripheral vision caught sight of a small box of words printed on the last page.

The subject, Nathan Michael Herber, was rescued from the Washington captive facility on 6/3/2015. After spying on the subject's family, we are affirmative that the subject was actually sold to the government by Maria Wake (Mother) and Denise Herber (Father) for an unknown sum. More information may be added in future revisions.

The document slipped from my shaking hands and landed on the floor with a genteel sigh.

So is this what it is?

I stormed out the printing room, leaving the documents in the printer. I had a feeling that I might pass out if I did not clear out my mind, so I did exactly that as I sprinted through the corridor. I have known this place for years. I could draw the map of the structure in my head, yet at this particular moment, I seemed to have lost all directions. I did not know where the security office was. I did not know where my room was. I did not know where to go. The thought of returning home shot through my mind like a bullet, but I knew that was not an option, not anymore.

After a lot of mindless running and exploring, I had finally found my safe place. The darted toward the utility room, weeping as I went inside and locked myself in. Flashes of joyful memories penetrated my brain as I covered my sweaty face with my hands. I could see my father tossing his five-year-old son in the air and catching him again in his arms as the boy hollered. My mother was laughing in the background and recording those precious moments on her newly brought camera. She had said she wanted to make a montage out of all these clips she had filmed of me. I could remember the pleasant smile on her face when she said that. All I ever wanted was to go back to those days when the sun was always shining bright in the sky.

About an hour later, the rusty metal door opened up with a swift pull. It was Alex again. He shot me a worried glance as he helped me up,

"You okay, man?", concern clear in his voice.

Unable to stop my body from tremoring, I replied wryly,

"I don't know who to trust anymore..."

Upon hearing my words, Alex's troubled expression turned into one of surprised. He took a brief moment to process what I had just said and tilted his head down. Taking in a deep breath, he said,

"I'm sorry."

He pitied me, he always had. Out of all the staff members in the shelter, Alex was always the one who had the most sympathy in his heart. Maybe that was why we got along: we both had that tinge of human kindness in us.

"Did you know?"

My voice cracked from all the sobbing I have done for the last hour. His lips curved inward and became a thin line. Silently nodding his head, he confessed,

"Yes, I knew that from the day I've met you."

I could understand why Alex did not tell me the brutal truth, for I did not want to hear it either. Proactively unraveling the truth is like standing under a tree in a thunderstorm: you are asking to be struck. If anything, I wish I had not known that it was my parents to gave me away to the government, that the ones who I was so desperately trying to get back to were the people who sold me out in the first place. As Alex patted me on the back, he kept repeating the same phrase over and over again,

"I'm so sorry."

It, obviously, was not his fault, but I did feel better after hearing him apologize for something that he did not do. I guess I just wanted someone to console me, that was all.

After wheezing for another hour, I decided that I wanted to be left alone and just contemplate the reason of my existence. I returned to my room and requested Alex to stay out of it, because I did not want my best friend to see me at this mental state. The place was eerily quiet, which only accentuated the sound of my cries. My family photos were still clinging to the wall, but the eyes of my parents did not feel comforting anymore. Instead, they were condescending and vile. I swept them off to the floor, which was painted a pale brown to imitate oak wood. The glass on the photo frame shattered upon the impact and flew all across the slick surface of the room. I braced myself in the tight hold of my blankets, which felt like my parents' hug. I hated it, but I simply could not stop holding onto them.

A gentle knock on the door tore me away from my sleep the next morning. I felt much better after one night of restful slumber. I could tell from the sound of the muttering that it was Alex who was behind the door. Standing alongside two guards, he looked weirdly strict (and sad) today. He brought me out to the lobby, which was filled with a bunch of strangers. They were all wearing black, but one man, in particular, had a briefcase in his hand.

"Dr. Jensen!"

I called out to him and he walked by, his face devoid of emotions. He turned around to look at me and shook his head slightly. He took the briefcase from the man and nodded toward Alex, who brought me up to the group of black-suited men and patted me on the back for one last time,

"I'm sorry you found out about this yesterday, but you know, the government really does pay plenty for you. We've gotta do it. I'm sorry."

So is that what it is?

[unfreethinker]

Jeremiah 30:17

It was a fine Tuesday morning June 3rd, I started the day with a regular meeting with the team until I suddenly felt a massive pain in my left ear. It was hard to breath but I thought it was nothing and continue with my work. The pain lasted until the afternoon but came back in the next morning. Same pain. But that time, longer than before. I could feel the pain whole day even at night. I took aspirin but it didn’t help. I kept changing my sleeping positions, getting up, sitting down, nothing worked. I have never experienced this kind of pain before. The backside of my left ear was burning hot, my left face was in pain, touching it was a no no. My neck was stiff and I had massive migraine. I cried but it just made it worse. I couldn’t sleep. 

Day 3. I started the day still with the pain and migraine. But I just couldn’t take it anymore so I asked my sister to make a doctor appointment. The doctor’s schedule is 5-7.30PM so I had to wait and continue with my work. In the afternoon I lied down as sitting for couple of hours was too painful. I managed to take an hour nap. I was so worried as I had no idea what was the problem with my ear. All I know was, it hurted like hell and I could die anytime. I used to think that ear pain was a childhood disease. I was wrong. I needed help.

My body temperature was 38 degree when I arrived at the hospital. The security guy was hesitant but still let me in, so I proceeded with the registration. My sister and a good friend who were also there told me that my left face was a bit swollen and asked me to ask the doctor later. By that time, all I needed was doctor’s help. The nurse checked my body temperature once again and and it was 38.2 degree, she had to ask for a (I assume) senior nurse’s approval, or else I’d be treated in an isolated room kind of thing. It was understandable during this pandemic season.”You tend to have fever when you have problem with ears, so it’s ok, you may proceed with her. The doctor is ready”. Phew! Thank God! 

“How is it, Melvi?” was her first question. 

 “Well obviously not good, doc” (and obviously a self talking lol) 

I didn’t explain much and she started right away with her examination. She started with checking my ear and neck. IT HURTED SO MUCH! I accidentally warded off her hand from my ear and she took a step back out of shock (sorry, doc!). I saw her put the otoscope inside my left ear, and checked in the screen in front of me. The gel on top of the magnifying lens gave a cold sensation in my ear, but hurted so much. My outer ear was fine,but the middle and inner was swollen and red. She checked my neck and shoulder “Doesn’t seem like you have 38 degree fever tho”, and even asked the nurse to check it once again. She then said “ You are not coughing, no problem with tooth, seems like there is only mild infection. The long term used of earphone could be the reason. As you can see, there is swelling in the blood vessel, a small one, nothing to worry. Try not to use earphone in your left ear. Eat soft foods to avoid too much motion in the ear”. She continued the examination by asking me questions, how did it start, if I felt any hearing loss, problem with balancing my body/ movements etc. It was a quick session and she gave prescription contains antibiotic and other meds. I asked her for a strong pain reliever because I haven’t slept for 2 consecutive nights. We left the hospital with a heart full of hope that the medicine will work.

We prayed together with my sister that night for my recovery and I took the medicine given by the doctor “Lord, please let me sleep tonight. Please heal me”. I slept before 12 and woke up before 8! Praise the Lord! I took medical leave that day so I continued to sleep for another one hour. I woke feeling fresh, even though the pain was still there. I barely talked. Every move I made gave me pain in my ear. I sat still almost all the time. The medication was for 3 days, and I decided to go to the hospital again to check. That time, it has been a week since I had this sickness. 

Second meeting with the doctor, she checked my eardrum, outer and inner canal (if I remember it correct) with the otoscope. This time she examined my mouth and throat. All clear. The swelling in the ear is gone, but it was still red-ish. This time she said “It was a viral infection. Virus could come from anywhere, influenza, cough, or anywhere else”. Another prescription was given to me, but with lower dossis. “This should be fine. You will be recovered soon”. “Amen to that”, said me. We ended up talking about my work abroad in the Philippines, the foods, culture, tourist attraction and so many things. I forgot how did we start talking about all of those stuffs but I felt relieve, she is nice doctor. She never limited the time, and always answer all of my questions. I appreciate two ways communication. She even shared her mobile number, in case I have questions. I can see that she took responsibility of her patient.  

Same with my third meeting. I was satisfied with her service, even though  the waiting time for the insurance confirmation took forever lol.

14 days passed but there were times that the pain came back for a short period of time. I was still worried as I hoped for a full recovery after taken all off the medications. I decided to record the time every time I felt the pain; 4 days in a week. I went to see the doctor and this time, the swelling is 90% gone! She mentioned that it’s called referred otalgia. I learned that Otalgia is actually an ear-related pain; primary otalgia, when the pain originates from the ear itself and referred otalgia, when the cause of pain originates outside the ear. She has checked my ear, mouth and nose; all fine and healthy, the last possibility is referred otalgia. I asked for whatever radiology I could take, and she made a request/reference letter for a panoramic radiology, only if I still feel any pain in the next 2 weeks.  

It’s July 2nd when I wrote this blog. I feel no pain for more than a week now! I am beyond happy and grateful. I can talk freely, I can use my headphone, I can eat whatever I want, I can laugh! 

“But I restore you to health and heal your wounds” Jeremiah 30:17.

I would like to express my gratitude to dr. Asterina Suhardi, Sp. THT-KL for extending God’s blessing to heal me. 

[frozenbullies]

The Curse

A short story I wrote for a class last year. 

it’s about anxiety and witches and heartbreak and curses and picking up the pieces .

under the cut

Dining hall eggs are the worst food imaginable. They’re crumbly, yellow blobs that can’t help but be off putting. But, then again, Aislin thought as she shoveled another forkful into her mouth, anything is edible if you put enough hot sauce on it.

“That stuff’ll kill your stomach, you know that right?” Jasmin said as she wrinkled her roman nose and picked up the bottle of Sriracha. “Eats the lining. Makes you sick.”

Aislin rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” She didn’t need any help with feeling nauseous, but continued eating anyway. After all, what did Jasmin know? It’s not like they taught organ care in Econ201 or anything.

Claire nodded and her bleach-blonde ponytail jiggled emphatically.

“You know.” Claire took the Sriracha from Jasmin. “It almost looks like your hair, hun. It’s kinda the same red.”

“God, can we just not talk about my hair?” Aislin said.

“Well, I told you not to buy the cheap stuff.”

“Oh man. Forget the hair,” Jasmin interrupted, leaning into the table so far that her glasses fell down the bridge of her nose. “Dan’s over by the soda machine.”

Aislin froze, a gob of hot sauce stuck in her throat as it slowly burned. Oh god. Why’d he have to come to this dining hall? Jefferson was way closer to his dorm. Oh god. Did he see her? Should she leave? Was she going to be sick again? Oh god, oh god.

“You’re good,” Claire patted Aislin’s shoulder. “He went around the corner. You can look up now.”

Aislin swallowed dryly, trying to soothe her nerves and rest her runaway heartrate as Claire loomed sympathetically.

“Don’t baby her!” Jasmine snapped as she pushed her frames back up. “She’s a grown woman not a child. Besides, after what he did she should be over there yellin’ at him, not sitting here crying.”

Aislin winced.

“Oh shut up, Jasmin. She’s fine. You’re making a big deal over nothing.”

“Me? She’s the one acting like a crybaby! If I’d acted like this when Curtis dumped me I’d have died of embarrassment.”

“Can you two just shut up? Please?” Aislin said.

Claire shot Jasmine a look and they both sighed, arms crossed.

“Fine. Besides,” Jasmine lowered her voice, “Get a load of this kid behind you,” Claire and Aislin craned dramatically to look over their shoulders.  

The tall figure walked by the booth section, Doc Martin boots clunking as they passed, one hand in the pocket of their jean-jacket and the other holding a plate of pancakes. Aislin blinked, watching their dark, effortlessly tossed bangs bounce lightly with each step as they approached a table full of seniors and graduate students where everyone welcomed them enthusiastically.

She turned back to her plate and tried to stomach the nerve to pick up another forkful as Claire laughed in a hushed voice. “Did you see that jacket? Who wears denim anymore? And those patches! I saw, like, two different ones with animal skulls!”

“What a try-hard!” Jasmin laughed. “She’s such a joke.”

“She? That’s a guy, Jazz.”

 “No way. The hair?”

  “It’s 2016. Guys can have good hair. Get with the times.”

“Whatever.”

“Either way.” Claire shrugged, “They’re an eyesore. Who’s even goth these days anyway?”

“They aren’t goth. I hear they’re like a witch or something.” Jasmin took a sip from her mug.

“Are you kidding me?” Aislin said.

“No, I’m not. Apparently they put a curse on the Chemistry professor that was here before Dr. Kessig. Made him go crazy. He was, like, forced to retire by the dean or something.

“You mean Dr. Lowell? He had Mercury poisoning, Jazz.”

“Mercury? You really believe that?”

“The man was alive when dinosaurs roamed the earth! He probably was around when schools still let you play with the damn stuff. I mean really, witchcraft?” Claire scoffed. “Who told you that superstitious nonsense?”

“Sera Joplin.”

Claire launched into a long-winded recount of every shady story Sera had given them since freshman orientation. But, as the two bickered, Aislin’s attention had already wandered back across the dining hall to the table where the black-haired person sat, smirking lightly at their phone as the rest of the colorful group exploded into a roar of laughter. A brown, wide-shouldered girl in a lacrosse jersey clapped them on the shoulder, starling them out of their phone-coma. They looked up to group and smiled. They seemed happy, if not a bit distracted. They didn’t look like a witch. Still, there was something about them. An almost unsettling energy. Something a bit more volatile than just confidence or style. For a second, Aislin could have sworn she saw one of the snakes on their patches move.

“Aislin. Aislin!”

“You ok, hun?” Claire said.  

Running sweaty fingers through her auburn hair she nodded. How long had she been staring? She looked down to her fingertips, red-brown dye mixed with the sweat to stain each one. Fuck. This really was cheap dye.

“Was it Dan?” Claire lifted her chin to look back in the general direction he had walked away in. “Did you see him again? Do you wanna leave? It’s cool if you do.”

She’d almost forgotten he was in here somewhere. Fuck. “Yeah,” she nodded and started to pack up. “Let’s just go to the library.”

--

The Frederick Douglass Library, unlike the Montelcini Library, was never full on a Saturday. Despite having been designed like an avant garde prison by some brutalist in the 70’s, it was a blessing to students who actually wanted to study. Stale air seeped off of books far older than any tenured professor and pale light filtered in through thin window slits, casting barcode shadows along the pale tile floor. Every few feet a metal table or two stood shakily and on every floor there were gardens of study cubicles. But, only the obsessed or seriously desperate students ever used those.

Aislin and her friends were neither and thusly avoided the cubicles in preference for a table in the center of the main room on the second floor. She tapped her pen to a scrawling list of zoology vocab, her four-pound textbook leaned against Claire’s blue bookbag as she read. Acari, the subclass forming ticks and mites. Agorius, the genus of jumping spiders. Aislin winced, Dan had always hated spiders.

She looked up from her work to notice someone in a denim jacket walking behind Jasmin and Claire. Aislin craned her neck to see as they turned the corner and caught a glimpse of a snake and dog skull patch. She glanced back to her work, and to the anatomical sketch of the arachnid body in her textbook, then to the corner again as she stood up. Jasmin asked where she was going and she muttered something about the restroom before rushing around the bookshelves in search of the student in the jacket.

They were sitting at a window-side table, alone and just starting to plug in their sticker-plastered laptop.

Aislin walked over and stopped at the opposite end of the table.

They looked up, their dark eyebrows arched as they looked her up and down. “Can I help you?”

“Um…” Aislin said, taking a seat. “I think so. I mean, umm… Could you, like, teach me how to do, like, witchcraft?”

“Is this how you start all your conversations?” they said.

“Oh, geez, sorry. I’m Aislin. Sophomore.”

“Leigh. Second year grad student.”

Oh. Wow. A grad student. But he- she? -looked so young. “Is that L-e-e? Or L-e-a-h?”

“Does it matter?”

She looked once more to their formless chest and unisex haircut. “Kinda?” her voice cracked.

“L-e-i-g-h. And before you ask what I know you’re trying to- don’t. I’m nonbinary, so just use they/them pronouns and call it a day, alright, Red?”

“Sure…” Red? God, this hair really had been a mistake. “Anyway, yeah.” Aislin tapped her thumbs together. “Witchcraft. Is there like, a book of spells or anything like that you can lend me?”

“No. Can’t you just go google it?”

“No. No, I need to curse someone. I’m thinking something with, like, spiders? Can you do that? Or teach me how to do that? Like, how does this work?”

Leigh leaned in close, a small smattering of pale freckles under their dark eyes as they lowered their voice. “Ok.”

Aislin mirrored them, red strands of her long bob falling from behind her ears.

“First, you get a jar.”

Aislin nodded.

“You go out in the middle of the night.”

She leaned further in.

“And you collect two hundred spiders to set loose in their dorm room.” Leigh leaned back into their seat with crossed arms.

“I’m serious,” she said.

“So am I,” they opened their laptop. “Now, if that’s all you wanted, I have a thesis to write.”

--

It snowed that night. It snowed and the next morning Aislin got a C- on her Zoology quiz. Couldn’t focus. Couldn’t study. The first snowfall had been a long time coming. People were saying it was the hottest December on record. Still, everyone had settled into their winter wear like they did every year, becoming easily recognizable by their trademark winter jackets. But, for some reason, Aislin just didn’t peg Leigh as the puffy coat type. Everywhere she went for the next two days Aislin found herself searching the crowd for any hint of denim. Each flash of washed blue caught her eye as white filled in the world’s corners. She finally found it one afternoon, walking up to the Rosalind Life Sciences building, Doc Martins clicking against the pavement. “Hey!” She shouted, trying to catch up. “Leigh!”

They turned slowly, delicate flecks of snow peppered against their black hair as they took a long breath. “I’m fresh out of spiders, Red,” they warned, hands in pockets.

“I just wanna know.” She said. “There has to be another way. Right?”

Leigh glowered at her, folding their arms.

“To curse someone, I mean. Like, can’t I make, like, a voodoo doll or burn an effigy or cast the evil eye or something like that?”

Leigh shrugged, “You tell me, man.”

“I can’t. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You seem to have it all pretty figured out.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You sure?”  

“Yes.”

“You sure you’re sure?”

Aislin’s face grew red. “Yes! I’m not the fucking witch here, okay! You are!” she shouted, her hot breath taking shape in frigid air between them.

Leigh stiffened, a wild flash in their eyes. They exhaled loudly, picking up the shoulders of their jacket and shaking off the snow with a quick flick as they turned to leave.

“Leigh….” Aislin whimpered, stepping towards them with hand outstretched, grasping. “Leigh, I’m sorry.” They looked over their shoulder, eyes like black ice. Aislin stopped. Hesitated. Felt a snowflake fall onto her lashes. Watched two more join the pale freckles on Leigh’s cheek.

They opened the door to the building. “I have research.”

Aislin watched as they closed the door firmly behind them. She stood, stunned by their glare and the calm injury they’d had in their voice.

What if Leigh wasn’t a witch?

Aislin felt her stomach sink, convulsing itself into rapid, sickening knots. She glanced to her watch, to the dye on her fingers, tapping her foot as she sighed and crossed her arms. A puff of warm air hung from her lips like cotton. She stared at the door, at the corner Leigh had turned, and she groaned, opening the door to race in.

“Leigh!” she called, turning the blind corner. “Leigh, wait! Lei-“she collided with a tall figure, muttering ‘sorry’ as she took a step back to collect her bearings.

“Hey

“Its fine, Dan. Really.” She brushed away his hand. Her eyes were fixed on his scuffed up gym shoes, never daring to look up.  

He smelled like Old Spice and her stomach lurched.

“Wow. Your hair is really red,” he said. “I thought Curtis was exaggerating.”

“Yeah… it’s red.”

“So, how’ve you been? It’s so good to see you!”

“Fine.” Not fine. The room was spinning. She placed a hand against the wall. How could he possibly think this was fine? What kind of guy dumps a girl via drunk text after almost two years and then thinks its ok to pretend like everything’s fine?

“Good… good. Hey, I’ve gotta go but it was really nice running into you.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

               The acrid smell of Old Spice lingered even after he left. Faint, like how it used to hang onto his letter jacket when she wore it to class, or how it would waft gently when he pulled her closer, his arms around her waist as he whispered ‘I love you.’ I love you. I love you…

               Another wave of nausea clawed at her closing throat and Aislin rushed down the hall towards the restroom. As she reached for the handle the door pulled away. She stepped back, looking up to familiar dark eyes.

“I thought I told you I’m busy,” Leigh said, sidestepping around Aislin.

“Sorry. I’m just… trying to find a place to hide for a bit.”

“What? From the goblins and ghouls?”

“From my ex.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… He went in that room over there.” She pointed.

Leigh looked over to the heavy door. “106? Do you mean Kayne Arely?”

“No... Daniel Fontaine. “

“Oh.” They sneered, paused, and then sighed, defeated. “Come on. You can hide in the lab.”

Leigh ushered her into a bright room. Machinery blinked and whirred while laptops ran loading programs. Everything smelled like rubbing alcohol. Tanks lined the wall in racks and shelves, inside swam tiny schools of fish.

Aislin watched as Leigh pulled a chair from behind a wide wooden desk and offered it to her, along with a pair of goggles. Said that their adviser would be furious if she didn’t wear them.

“Thanks.” She said. “I mean, really. Thank you.”

               “No problem.” Leigh said. They slipped out of their denim jacket, exchanging it for a lab coat on the rack next to the door. “Daniel’s one of the TAs for Dr. Hearne. Should be in 106 for a while.”

She knew that.

Leigh snapped on a pair of purple rubber gloves and pulled a pair of goggles over their eyes. “I’ve got to run about a dozen plates and mix twenty batches of dye. But, you can stay in here and do homework or whatever until he’s gone.”

Aislin nodded, setting her bookbag by the coat rack with the jacket hanging from it. Rips and frays in the sleeves revealed its wear, each rip sewn back into place with black thread and each patch lovingly stitched in the same manner. The eight eyes of a black and white spider peered out from one patch in particular, an almost expressive quality to its gaze.

“It isn’t gunna help.” Leigh, back faced towards her, was swirling a fluorescent liquid in a large flask.

“What?”

“Cursing him,” they said, pouring the liquid into a pocket of blue gel. “It won’t help,” they picked up the gel pocket and set it into a tray of water. “You can do it but it won’t help.”

Aislin’s face grew warm. Was it really that obvious? “I just want him to feel the same way I do.”

Leigh picked up a portable battery and two jumper cables. They set it on the table with a thunk and nodded distantly. “And what would that accomplish?” They hooked each cable to a prong in the water tray. “You two feeling like mutual shit, alone in your dorm rooms, still not getting any better?” A flip of a switch and the battery purred. “Sounds like a real great plan.”

The liquid in the tray rippled. Aislin furrowed her brows, but didn’t object. “So… is there a spell to make him think of me?”

“I think running into each other did the trick.”

A pause. “How about to make him come back to me?”

Leigh laughed, “What would that accomplish?”

“Plenty! Things would be back to the way they were.”

“Is that really what you want, Red? To be back to where you were before? To be who you were before?” Leigh turned the dial on a kitchen timer and set it next to the gel plate.

“Yes!” Aislin paused, looked to the red bangs that hung in her frame of view and stuttered. “Well… no.”

“So?”

“So? So what! What then? Is there nothing I can do?” Tears started to well up as she pushed her goggles to her forehead, “Am I supposed to just feel like shit forever? Is that what you want?” She sunk forward and held her head in her arms as she began to sob. A hand was laid lightly into the back of her shoulder as Leigh knelt down beside her, patting as they shushed in a low, gentle voice.  

She wiped at her face with her hoodie sleeves until Leigh handed her a box of Kimwipes. “I- I,” Aislin paused, blew her nose again before she broke down into another sob. “I’m just so tired,” she took a few hyperventilated breaths, wrapped her arms around her knees. “I’m- “she looked to Leigh who was, somehow, still as composed as ever. “I’m fucking tired of feeling like shit!”

She buckled, head resting on top of her own knees, pants stained wet with snot and tears.

Leigh lifted their hand as Aislin lifted her head and took a few long, heavy breaths. She wiped away the mess clinging to her face and let a small pile of Kimwipes collect at the foot of the chair. When she looked down she saw that they had taken a seat on the tile floor. Dark, knowing eyes peered up at her. Ask again.

“Is…” Aislin sniffled and pulled herself upright. “Can you… Is there…” She took a long, shaky breath. Her voice was small and she folded her hands in her lap. “Is there a spell to fix a broken heart?”

Leigh pulled their goggles up. “Plenty,” they said.

Aislin looked to the denim jacket that hung next to her bookbag. The patches seemed brighter under the fluorescent lighting. A sewn-in spider twitched it’s long, sketchy legs. She turned back to Leigh, “Can you show me?”

Leigh smiled, “Of course.”

[yourrainycollectorhologram-blog]

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and what car insurance you have?

How much would car insurance cost for me?

1) I will be 18 by the time I get my car 2) I'm a male (my friend said that counts) 3) I will have a weekend job, and go to college 4) I have never gotten a ticket, or into an accident 5) I will own the car, not rent it How do I sound to insurance companies?""

home insurance quote flood risk

home insurance quote flood risk

Where can i find cheap home insurance in Oklahoma?

I am looking for a good price on home insurance but also a good quality policy in the great state of Oklahoma. Where can i go online and get a quote directly from a real insurance agency in my state?

What is the cheapest auto insurance carrier in north carolina?

What is the cheapest auto insurance carrier in north carolina?

Health Insurance for Seniors in the U.S.A but I'm Canadian?

I'm 26, A Canadian that is going to buy a U.S small business.(in California) Can anyone suggest a good heath insurance plan. I also would like to know can I get a plan for my parents (both age 60) when they come down and stay with me for more then six months? Thank you like always!!""

Can I get anything from the insurance company of the guy who totaled my car?

My car was totaled while parked. My insurance will pay blue book value for my vehicle, which is less than what I owe and I don't have gap insurance. Now I am jobless and w/o a car, but needing one ASAP to go to school. Can I get anything from the insurance company of the guy who totaled my car?""

Insurance Groups - HELP!?

Ok im looking to buy my first car, and ive found a 1.4cl Ford Escort which im interested in, it says its in insurance group 5E, is that a good group to be in (is it cheap or expensive), thanks for any help :D""

How much would my car insurance be?

im 17yr old male i just passed my practical test and i want to buy the GOLF 1.4L which is on sale for 1,895 as a second hand car i was wondering how much my insurance would be roughly?""

Why Will Companies Keep Offering Health Insurance?

Why Will Companies Keep Offering Health Insurance? Who here believes that if Universal Health Benefits are offered through the US government to all US citizens that companies and employers will continue to offer health insurance benefits to their employees as a payroll/benefits expense. Do you really believe companies will continue to pay such a large amount of overhead when they can simply stop offering those benefits and let the government program take over? What employer in their right mind would keep dishing out $500 a month per employee when the government is begging to take that system over? If you think Yes, please tell me why.""

Will my car insurance premiums increase?

I just got pulled over for the second time in a 7 month period and was given a citation for turning right on no turn on red . Will my car insurance payments go up? How long does it usually take for the insurance company to find out about the citation?

What is cheaper to run on daily bassis Toyota Celica or Honda Civic Type-R?

I would like to maybe buy a Celica 190 I'm still deciding between this and the Type-R. I'd like to know does the Type-R cost a lot to run or is the Celica cheaper? I do about 100 miles a week would this kind of mileage be too expensive for any of the two cars? I'd also like to know what the average service charges are when it's due one. Also are they quick? I'm 34 so insurance is not too bad for me but I just would like to know from other owners of these cars what the real cost of these great machines are.Cheers

Geico car insurance?

I'm interested in transferring my car insurance to Geico. I went to their website and filled out the electronic form, and the amount came out quite expensive. I thought it was going to be cheaper. Should I call them and speak with a rep for more accurate info?""

Fend off bullying car insurance suit?

i was involved in a car accident. i was at the wheel and the insurance company that insures the car has placed me at fault. i am not the owner, but claim that i had permission from the owner to use the car and therefore, under california law, should not be liable for the damages. the owner is fully insured. i tried to settle this by paying for the deductable. shortly after i submitted a check to the owner he changed his statement to his insurance company and claimed that he in fact hadnt given me permission to use the vehicle (I have a scanned copy of the check with clearing information from my bank). i am now being threatened by two insurance companies: 1) the insurer of the other party involved (this claim is on me, the owner, and his insurer) & 2) the insurer of the car i was driving. what are my options? how can i attempt to prove that he did give me the necessary explicit or implicit permission to use his automobile?""

""In NYC can I make payments on my financed car, but not be driving it or paying insurance for a few months?""

I'm financing my car, but by Nov I wont be needing to drive anywhere. Can I stop my insurance, park the car in the driveway but still make payments on it?""

Please help... car insurance. 10 points for best answer.?

Hey i just bought a 1992 3 litre twin turbo<--- they don't know that bit Toyota supra 2 door 2 seats black. I am 19 and the cheapest insurance policy i can find for it is 7 grand i have a years no claims and pass plus, so that seems a bit stupid to me, Anyone have any name and or numbers of insurance companies in the uk that are likely to do me a good deal 3rd party, Thanks guys.""

How much does insurance(auto insurance) cost for a 56 year old with perfect records?

I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 50+ year old, and which would be the best insurance, and also the cheapest.""

Why my insurance company increased my premium when iwas not at fault.?

We did not find results for: My insurance increased due to the false statement given to the police officer.So called accident happened in the parking lot when I was coming out from the parking lot and some lady immediately stopped her car behind me and waiting that i should hit her car. I immediately stopped my car and our rare bumper slightly touched. At the time of incidence she not alert even she was looking car coming out with zero speed. There had already a small dent in her car. and claim before the police officer. This dent is due to the this incidence. That was very minor incident. no body was hurt or damage in this incidence she get five thousand from the company. Due to that incidence my insurance increased my premium. I need justice What should I do Now. l Try the suggestions below or type a new query above.

How does car insurance work?

I just wrecked and I backed up into someone. How does insurance work. Do they basically pay for it or what. Or after you wreck do you have to pay more for insurance??

Cancelling car insurance for 5 months?

HI: I just moved to San Antonio for a 6 month project and the company decided to pay for my car rental. I'm thinking about cancelling my own car insurance for the time so I can save some $. Any thoughts on what the cons can be? I don't want to cancel it for months and then have to pay extra to get back in. my car registration is in Dec and I'm from California and I have Geico. Any inputs are appreciated. Thanks! Mike

17 Year Old Motorbike Insurance?

What would you estimate the insurance costs are for a 17 year old riding a C.P.I Sprint 125CC?

Health insurance? For a 20 year old?

Hi I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for getting cheap health insurance. How are people paying for this, I was quoted at $140 a month! I have Never had any serious problem No broken bones and I've only had 3 prescriptions in my life! I only make $1,100 a month and with rent bills food and gas $140 extra is A LOT for me! Could you give me a good company? I really don't want to be fined in January, this is crazy! Also I was denied by Covered California because they said my household makes to much, I live on my moms property but is still pay rent/internet/electricity. How could I get around this for covered California? Please help me understand this better and if you have a link to a good cheap insurance company please let me know, Thank You""

Teenage Car Insurance?

What can we expect for a 16 year old having to pay on a monthly base if he has his OWN insurance (as in not co-insured with the parents). This would be in Texas. I am pretty sure that there is a great difference. Just trying to familarize myself with the whole deal and trying to figure a ballpark amount. Any tips you might have are very much welcome. Thanks!!!

My wife has leukemia and no health insurance. is there any affordable health insurance?

The insurance she does have is very low, 2000.00 a year cap. we've been looking and it seems she has to be without any for 6 months. she got turned down for medicare already. others we have found range from 1000.00 per month and up. has anyone found any thing better?""

What is the cheapest car insurance?

I had State Farm but they terminated my insurace because of to many tickets, i herd Progressive was cheap, what do you think? I am 19 by the way""

High Risk Auto Insurance - Where can I find the lowest quote online?

Is there any online auto insurance website that specializes in getting the lowest rates on car insurance for high risk drivers? If so can anyone guide me to one?

Does GEICO stand for General Electric Insurance Company?

Does GEICO stand for General Electric Insurance Company?

Car accident I have liability the other involved had no insurance?

I got into a car accident today which pretty much totalled out the back half of my van, seeing as the insurance agent will probably call it as totalled out. Here is my question the other party told us that he had no insurance at all and I only carry liability insurance whats going to happen with my vehicle, how are my damages going to be paid?""

home insurance quote flood risk

home insurance quote flood risk

Do you need insurance before you own a car and before you have your license?

I already have my permit, after I am done with my 6 hours do you need insurance to drive your own car?""

Do I have to register my car and change my insurance if I am an out of state student in California?

My insurance company told me that I do not need to change my insurance since I am a student living outside of my home of record address. Now, I keep hearing that I need to register and smog test my car in California since I'm currently living there while attending school. If I do such a thing, does that not mean that I will have to change my insurance to California rates? I do not plan on residing in California post graduation, does this make a difference also? Someone please help....""

Do you need to pay for insurance while learning to get permit and after?

Hi, I'm turning 15 and a half in a few days, I live in California, so I can now get my permit. My families financial situation is a little tight, so my mother says I have to wait until my sister is off her insurance, which will be by the summer. My mom says as soon you I receive my permit, she has to add me onto the insurance. Is this correct? And does she need to pay for insurance while I simply attain my permit? I told her after I get my permit, I don't necessarily have to begin driving lessons right away, which in turn means she doesn't need to pay insurance right away. Could someone clear this up for me? Thanks!""

Help with getting health insurance?

I'm a 22 year old college student and need health insurance. My mother doesn't work and has medicare/medicaid. I don't speak to my father. I'm a resident assistant on campus, which doesn't offer health insurance as a benefit of working. The school offers health insurance but it's around $2,000 a semester (four months) for very little coverage. There is commercials on TV about automotive insurance and life insurance but I don't know how to find health insurance. Where can I go to find more information on different real insurance companies and what's the average price (either per month or lump some) I would have to pay for health insurance? Any help would be great! Thank you!""

Is it true you get a car insurance break when you turn 25 years old?

I haven't seen anything official, and I suppose I can ask my agent. But I was curious if anybody else has received any sort of rate change when they turned 25. Does it depend on the insurance company?""

How much would I pay for car insurance on a classic/sport car?

So I've been working on cars for a very long time (5 years), but I've only had my license however for only a year. Lately I've been driving a silly honda accord that I don't quite enjoy. I plan on buying a 280zx datsun, an alfa romeo spider, a triumph, or an mg midget. The price for the car isn't a problem because I fix and restore cars for Shelby cobra and can handle a lot of the issues older cars can give. The problem is insurance. About how much will I be paying monthly for one of the cars listed? ( I am aware I work on cars but have never done insurance) Thanks :)""

""Can you drive your friend's car, which is insured but you are not in his/her insurance?

I am not added to his insurance but the car is insured.. how does it work?.. website link would help as well..

Tee Motorcycle insurance?

I'm 17, I live in Arlington TX, I have A's and B's with a few C's (my parents told me they look at grades. True?) I'm Looking at buying either an older honda shadow, probably around 750 cc or an older Kawasaki Vuclan (same). THe bikes will be pre-2000, and I will be getting bare minmum insurance. Can anyone guess at the rate?""

How much should I expect to pay monthly for insurance on a 19 year old male driving a 1999 Ford Mustang V6?

I buying a 1999 Ford Mustang Base Automatic V6 as soon as I get my tax refund in this year. I live in Texas and have insurance on my current car which is a 1997 Ford Ranger XLT Automatic 4 Cylinder. I have been driving for 2 years and have had over 8 months ago. How much should I expect to pay monthly for insurance and who would you suggest I get my insurance service from?

CAR INSURANCE question?

Ive just been made a fiance manager at work and my car insurance has gone down in price ! Can anybody tell me what kind of jobs make your car insurance reduced in price and why ?

Car Insurance Fraud - Please advice?

I am trying to get a new car insurance with progressive. They asked me if I had any citations recently (last 3 yrs) and I said no which is not true becuase I just got a citation. My citation was for going 10 miles over the limit. They did ask me for all of my info such as ssn and driver lic #. I am assuming they checked out my records. They gave me a very low quote considering my driving history. Is it car insurance fraud if I didn't tell them about my citations? Could I be dropped? Please advice.

Does a parking ticket raise insurance?

I got a 35$ ticket. (my first ticket). will this go through to my insurance and my record? or do i just gotta pay the fine?

Is auto insurance legally required to drive your motorcycle in NYC?

I have tried googling the question, and all I get are all ad junk sites trying to get my personal information for free quotes. I cannot seem to find any legal information as to driving a motorcycle uninsured in NYC. I understand it is mandatory to have auto insurance on your car for liability damages, to other parties as well as medical bills. However, I cannot find any information if this applies to motorcycles as well. Do motorcycles fall under this statute as it is an Auto Vehicle? I am not looking forward to any fines and revoking of my license. Thank you in advance.""

Does anyone know an insurance company that offers cheap/free SR-22's for license ?

need it to keep my lic. valid. ASAP... help please!

Car Insurance moving from one state to another?

I'm moving to TX from PA. My car got inspected in pa a couple months ago. When i move to TX im going to need to get new insurance because my company doesnt cover in that state. When i go to get new insurance does my car have to be inspected in TX to get insurance?

I am after cheap public liability insurance for my bussiness with $5000000 cover in Australia?

The best price i've got so far is $476.63, but I want to pay less than $250 if I can, and I do not care if they are not an Australian company.""

What is the difference between term and whole life insurance?

What is the difference between term and whole life insurance? When is it better to use one versus the other?

Health insurance for foreigners?

I am from India & I would like to know about the health insurance options for indians working in Malaysia. My husband is working but I am a housewife. His company takes care of his insurance. We are trying for a baby and I would like to know about the health insurance options for foreigners in Malaysia.

About how much will my car insurance go up after new car purchace?

I currently have full coverage on my used car, and will be trading it in. Will my insurance jump up? I currently own a 2002 alero and will be buying a 2010 vw gti.""

Has anyone ever heard of Titan auto insurance?

Has anyone ever heard of Titan auto insurance?

Auto insurance?

what is the best auto insurance out there and why

How much is your monthly car note and how much is your insurance? How many months do you have to pay it off?

What do you drive and do you feel its worth it? I pay $271 on my note. My insurance is $138. I had 42 months on it. I drive a 2005 chevy cobalt. So far I guess it is worth it. Driving is very expensive.

How does car insurance work for a teenager?

I recently got my license but still do not drive due to the fact that my parents will not pay for insurance. They say it is too expensive but they also said the only way to make it affordable would be by getting me a car, which I seriously do not understand!! I don't want my own car I just want to be able to legally drive one so why would buying me a car and then insuring the car plus myself make it soo much cheaper than just already having me under their insurance and what not??? I just don't get it because once your insured you are able to drive any of the cars in the household so why buy another car just for me?? My parents aren't making sense and do not want to explain it to me. But we own luxury cars so could that be why they won't add me to the insurance? They are getting me a random, affordable used car which I don't mind but I would rather just be insured car or no car. Oh and they let me drive around all our luxury cars when I had my permit so idk why they are doing this to me.""

Insurance Company sent me 2 checks?

So I recently got rear ended and the other party was at fault. I went to the appraiser that the all state agent had directed me to and had my car appraised. When I got my car appraised the appraiser wrote me a check then and there for the damages . Today I got a phone call from the insurance agent asking if my mailing address was correct and that they were going to mail me out a check for the damages that their appraiser had estimated. She never asked me once if I had already received a check for the damages.The appraiser made some kind of contact with allstate but I guess he never stated that he already had written me a check. Is it a crime if I cash both checks?

Father wants to add either wife or daughter on the car insurance policy? Who will be cheaper to add?

Father wants to add a named driver to his insurance policy and wants to add the wife who is 48 years old whom holds a provisional licence. However, the daughter who is 17 (nearly 18) wants to be added as a named driver as she does quite a lot of practising in the car. From the situation would it be the same price for both? or would it be cheaper for the older women. Both have not passed test so wouldn't the insurance policy price be the same for both. I would like to know the difference? or whether it would be the same as both just hold provisional license?""

home insurance quote flood risk

home insurance quote flood risk

""Will the USA one day have affordable, comprehensive health insurance for all its citizens?""

Will this be a reality one day soon? Other countries have it, and they have maintained their systems for generations now. Why not the USA?""

Can I drive my parents car without insurance?

Can I drive my parents car without insurance, the car is insured under my parents name, ( we live at the same address) and also can I drive someone elses car without insurance with his or her permission""

How much would insurance cost for a 16 yr old female?

I'm 16 & getting a 2010 Nissan Maxima. Don't tell me not to get it because I'll wreck or trash it. I learned how to drive when I was 12 and I drove all the time when I got my permit. I'm not going to trash it at all. All I need to know if how much insurance might be. A rough estimate because I know everywhere is different. Some few details: I'm 16, a female, straight A student, and really responsible. Thanks.""

About Insurance Rates on 06 Ford Expedition?

Gieco just went up on my rates. WTF? No tickets, No wrecks, No claims. I'm 64, good driving record, Wife 64, or Son 44, may drive occasionally. Retired and drive less than 10,000. yearly. Best rates with Reliable Company???""

Insurance for first car?

Im thinking about buying a 00-04 S2000 or and 99-04 Mustang GT. I live in georgia..17 almost 18 with a flawless driving record. My parents and i use geico insurance. I am a car enthusiast and i love performance.

Why is my credit ratingscore brought down for getting car insurance quotes?

I'm trying to get auto and renter's insurance and I do not understand why my credit score is brought down because of this. Can't they tell I'm not our trying to get several credit cards or lines of credit or loans? How can this be dealt with and changed or stopped? If this is going to happen, how will my credit look in two years when I am ready to buy a newer vehicle?""

""How do I get this auto insurance issue taken care of? Possible Law Suit, advice needed.?""

I originally had State Farm and was paying $232 for a Hyndai Tiburon, had a traffic accident for, Improper Lane Change, the other person did not file a claim, had to spend $500 to get my car fixed and $89 on municipal court fees. I was told that the incident, since I paid it in full and did not receive probation would not be held on my license, however it did make my insurance go up to $302, because of the deduct able, very understandable. This was in Ga. I moved to Ok. I looked at new insurance here and found one with Mercury Auto Insurance through a 3rd party company and received a quote for full coverage at $232 a month, so back down to normal price. They ran my license and everything, everything was fine, I even told them about the accident and they said that it would not change rates. Well, it did. I got my first statement and my bill was $314! I called up to the 3rd party company and they said that the insurance company charged my Improper Lane Change, as an Erratic Improper Lane Change, and as such it was classified as a traffic accident on my license and that's what made it go up. She said she would call me back, but she never did and I have been working so much, I haven't had a chance to call back. So here is what I need to know, and please no stupid insurance companies trying to solicit. 1. Who do I call in Ga. and have them dismiss those charges on my license and if they can't, how do I go about filing a lawsuit for illegal allegations after trial? 2. Who do I contact, when I have the proper information, the 3rd party company, or the actually insurance company....or both?""

How to be a insurance agent?

i need to some gain some knowledge about how to be a insurance agent. I am a senior in HS and i dont know what path to take. is insurance agent a difficult job? what classes should i take? is insurance agent a business major?

Finding cheap classic car insurance?

I have a 1979 chevy malibu and i want to be able to have it and my winter car on the road. I want to find like a cheap classic car insurance for it so i can pay for both insurances. a friend of mine was telling me you can get it really cheap ccause its a clasic. Anyone know of any?

Car insurance?????????????????

I am buying a new car but haven't sold mine yet, I still want insurance on my old one incase I have to drive it.. How do you go about it? Does it cost much??""

Co-op smartbox for young drivers?

I am 18 and considering going through the co-op box scheme for young drivers. Everything about it looks great (I've gone from quotes of 6000+ to 3000!) but there's one area that concerns me - I can't imagine I'll be confident enough driving any time soon to be a wreckless driver, but I intend to go on holiday around Scotland with my friends in the summer where I'll be driving for a long time. I was wondering whether this might affect my insurance premium. So for example if I drove around 5 hours a week, consistently, for a few months, and then went on a road trip and drove for 30 hours one week, would this raise my premium? I ask because on the quote page it asks for how long I'll be driving on a weekly basis. Do any current customers happen to know whether they care at all? Thank you in advance! :)""

Do you know of any affordable dentist in San Diego?

We have no insurance and my gf is having a toothache and a cracked tooth. We checked out one Vietnamese dentist and he wanted almost 2000 dollars. My God! That is a lot of money. So, if you know any affordable dentist any where, please let me know. We'll be paying cash. I suggested Tijuana, but she's afraid of going there. Thank you in advance.""

Best insurance for young drivers [UK]?

I already said the comparison websites don't seem to give great quotes. And i also said i want third party fire and theft.. so i don't understand your answer :s

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in london riding a 125 motorbike ? (around)?

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in london riding a 125 motorbike ? (around)?

Does anyone of a very cheap and affordable health insurance that covers dermatology?

do you?

Who is the insurance/workers compensation carrier for Petco?

For a research project I'm doing on the pet industry, I need the name of the carrier who provides insurance and worker's compensation for Petco, PetSmart and the like.""

""Does anyone know if I am disable,I receive ssi (I have a MS)what kind of car insurance?""

Does anyone know if I am disable person, I receive ssi (I have a multiple sclerosis) what kind of car insurance company I can choose? And how much I have to pay each month? Thank you""

Does insurance go up if I buy a car?

I'm 16 and I just got my license in California. My parents won't buy me a car because they think that if I get a car, my insurance rate will go up. Is this true? Or does insurance rate remain the same if i buy a car? THANKS""

Is it worth getting insurance?

Is it worth getting insurance on my KTM Duke 125? I'm 16 years old and just a beginner and I don't know whether I should get the insurance. The only thing I'm scared of is that someone will steal my bike. I live in Europe.

Will my insurance still go down if I have a really cheap car for my first year then a more expensive one after?

When my sister first got her car she crashed. I don't want to buy a new car and have that happen to me because it will cost a lot to have it repaired so I have decided to get a car for no more than 600 for the first couple of months, hopefully a year if it will last that long. I'd like a fiat 500 after that year and because I want to personalise it I would have to buy it from the showroom and it's 14,000 :-|. The money isn't the problem because I've been saving for ages to get this car but I am worried about the insurance on it. If I get a car for 600 first (it will be my first car), and have no accidents for a year and get a more expensive car (the fiat 500), will my insurance on that car still be high? I will be 18 when I get the cheap car and 19 when I get the fiat and Im a girl, if that helps.""

""Im planning to buy a new car.What's the average cost to maintain it,including insurance,per year?Please reply.?""

Im planning to buy a new car.What's the average cost to maintain it,including insurance,per year?Please reply.?""

What is the best car insurance for beginner drivers/young drivers 16 year olds?

I am getting my licence at the end of january and need car insurance. What are the best insurances. Some have discounts for good grades

Car insurance lowering (LEGALLY!!!!)?

right, i best tell the whole story. im 17 in a few months, so my parents have given me 5,000 for a car and insurance, which i thought would be plenty for something decent. however, as i have to insure the car myself (no fronting), and even a group one pile of c**p costs over 3,000 to insure. i know i could take pass plus, but are there any other ways to lower the insane premiums legally? and are there any insurers who give a good price for new drivers? thanks for the help :)""

Cheap car insurance for 17 year old in u.k?

can anyone tell me how to get cheap car insurance for my 17 year old in u.k

What are the advantages and disadvantages of a high-deductible insurance plan?

I am looking in to getting insurance that has a high ded. plan and a low ded. plan. What are the advantages and disadvantages??

home insurance quote flood risk

home insurance quote flood risk

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