#sebastian sanger x reader

[bi-bard]

And Just for When We're Apart, I've Got a Piece of Your Heart - Sebastian Sanger Imagine [Titans]

Title: And Just for When We're Apart, I've Got a Piece of Your Heart

Pairing: Sebastian Sanger X Reader

Word Count: 1,011 words

Warning(s): abandonment issues in full swing

Summary: [Inspired by "Piece of Your Heart" by Mayday Parade] (Y/n) offers Sebastian a small gift. Sebastian responds in a less than enthusiastic way and gets a front row seat to see the strength of (Y/n)'s stubbornness.

Author's Note: I drove back to school and got to listen to this song again, so here's a cute little story.

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I remember telling a few friends where I had decided to spend a lot of my free time.

They gave me weird looks. They asked me if I didn't think that it was a little "dark". Even when I explained why I was there, they acted like it was a weird choice. I just shrugged them off. It wasn't my job to convince them of anything.

If I wanted to spend my free time in a taxidermy shop, then that was my decision.

I was happier around Sebastian than I was with them anyway.

It was just easier to be myself. To fall into a rhythm that didn't feel forced. Not something that needed to shift or be fixed, but just exist. It had been something that I had wanted for such a long time. I almost couldn't believe that I finally had it.

I celebrated him when he finally made that meeting to go pitch his game. He celebrated me whenever I got good news at work. We mirrored each other perfectly. I wouldn't trade a moment with him for anything.

Our relationship didn't take any sharp changes until one night.

I had walked in pretty late. Sebastian was at the counter with a new piece.

"Hey," I said as I closed the door with one hand, the other tucked securely into the pocket of my jacket.

He smiled at me. "Hi."

"I... have a gift for you," I rounded the counter as I spoke.

"Why," he asked.

"Because I wanted to give you a gift," I explained, waving off his question.

I pulled my hand out of my pocket, holding it out to him. Sitting in my palm was a small bracelet. It was silly when you looked at it. Simple and basic, made of braided thread instead of gold or silver or metal at all.

Sebastian stared at it for a moment before slowly taking it from my hand.

"I know it's kind of childish, but look," I pulled up my jacket sleeve to reveal a nearly identical bracelet sitting around my wrist. "They match."

He didn't speak up, just running his fingers over the thread.

"It's like we're connected," I added.

There was another pause before he dropped the bracelet on the counter. "I think you should go."

He turned back to his work as I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What," I asked. "I... I don't understand-"

"Just go," he cut me off.

I chuckled. "If you don't like the bracelet, then it's fine-"

"Get out," he snapped. His anger caught me off-guard. "Please, just get out. It's going to happen anyway, so just leave me alone."

"What do you mean?"

His hand slammed on the counter. "How much clearer do I have to be with you?"

"You said that it's going to happen anyway," I replied. "I deserve to know what the hell you mean by that."

"You're going to walk away. I know that. Everyone does. They always have. Just go."

The idea broke my heart, but I also felt that familiar anger-fueled stubbornness burning in my chest. "No."

"No?"

"You don't get to make my decisions for me," I said bluntly. "You don't get to decide whether or not I'm going to leave. And you can't just shove me away because you're scared."

His jaw clenched as he looked down.

I stepped closer to him. "If you want me to go, then I want it to be because it's what you actually want. Not because it gives you a chance to avoid getting hurt."

There was still no response. I wanted to look into his mind. To see if he had a million thoughts all battling for the front of his attention or if he only had one that he didn't want to admit that he was having.

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to walk away from him, but the silence was suffocating me.

I went to speak up again, not that I knew what I was going to say to him.

Before a word could come out of my mouth, he turned to me and pressed his lips to mine.

It only lasted for a moment. Rushed and almost rough. As if he had done it more out of instinct than anything else and immediately snapped back to his senses. He almost immediately leaned away from me, going back to look at his work on the counter.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I... I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay," I reassured him. "Really... it's okay."

I should have said more. God knows that there were a million more things I could have added to the statement to make it clear how I felt about him. But none of them would come out. All of them were stuck in the front of my mind, unable to find the route to my voice.

Sebastian didn't look at me, clearly still embarrassed.

I took a deep breath before reaching over and grabbing the bracelet that he had tossed on the counter. With my other hand, I grabbed his, pulling it over to me.

"What are you doing," he asked.

"What do you think?" I replied as I placed the bracelet on his wrist. I adjusted it so it would stay in place. "There..."

He spoke up, probably going to apologize again. I cut him off by leaning over and kissing him again. This kiss was softer than the first one. Longer too. Only by a few seconds, but those few seconds felt like they made all the difference in the world.

I pulled back, smiling at him as I leaned my forehead on his. "Much better."

I saw a grin pull at his lips.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised. "I'm going to be right here for as long as I can."

He nodded as his eyes closed.

I moved so I could kiss his forehead.

This was truly all I needed. Just existing in this moment with him.

If this was going to be the rest of my existence, then I could live and die happily.

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[supercap2319]

Not A Bloody Original

The Church of Blood was quiet. Too quiet if you ask Y/N. He expected a great quantity of cult worshippers chanting over the ominous bubbling pool of blood in the center of the room, arms raised and praising their lord and savior Brother Blood. Or as Y/N and other Titans called him: Sebastian Sanger. He was someone they tried to save, but he made his choice, and now Y/N would make his, no matter how much he didn't want to.

The man in the center of the room never took his eyes off the glowing red pool of magma. Either he wasn't aware of Y/N's presence, or he just didn't care. Perfect. "Phasmatos incen–"

"Now, that's not a friendly way of saying hello." Brother Blood turned to Y/N with a smile. "Ahh, Y/N, so nice of you to show up. I was afraid you'd miss out on all the fun."

"Give up, Sebastian. You can't win. It's over."

"Is it? I feel like it's just beginning." Brother Blood teased. "This is the final stretch like you Americans like to say."

Y/N huffed. "One more chance, Sebastian. Give up and surrender."

"Before you continue with your threats, I'd like for our friends to join us. Or should I say… friend?"

Y/N watched as someone else came into the room and before Y/N could send this new enemy back with magic, he realized the person was Dick in his Nightwing costume. "Dick? You're here." Instead of coming to his side, Y/N watched as Dick walked towards Brother Blood and kneeled before him.

Brother Blood smirks underneath his mask of bone. "I'd say I've caged this bird, wouldn't you agree, luv?" Dick had a far off look in his eyes and it didn't take a genius to see that Sebastian was using his powers to control him. Y/N took a step towards Sebastian. "If you don't, let go of him right now, Sebastian, I'm gonna…"

Brother Blood's whole body began to glow a violent red as he raised a hand, and Dick suddenly produced a knife and held it to his throat. "Uh-uh-uh. I wouldn't do that if I were you. Unless you want your precious Nightwing to slit his own throat?" Y/N backed off and leered at Rachel's half-brother.

"Good boy." Dick stopped, but he still held the knife close to his throat. Brother Blood looked pretty confident and cocky at that fact he had Y/N backed into a corner. If he tried to attack him, Sebastian would have Dick slit his own throat, and a part of him wonders if he could teleport the knife away before Nightwing slashed his own windpipe. "I wouldn't try anything funny, Y/N." Brother Blood warned, almost as if he was reading his thoughts. He probably was.

"Why are you doing this, Sebastian?"

"What? You mean getting power, respect, and everything that I ever wanted? Everything I so rightfully deserve. And I've never been fond of the name 'Sebastian.' I prefer something bold, like Klaus."

"Klaus? Who the hell are you, Joseph Morgan?" Y/N asked.

"I think I'm beyond fictional vampires, but I have something to offer you. A deal if you will." Suddenly, all around Y/N, the Church of Blood worshippers came into the room in robes. They chanted low underneath their breath as Y/N had to fight the urge to set them all on fire. "What kind of deal?"

"I'll let your precious Dick go and promise not to harm him in any way. If…" Brother Blood began.

"If what?"

"...If you let me fuck you on my throne in front of my Church of Blood." Brother Blood smirked underneath his bone mask.

Y/N looks completely taken aback. "What the fuck? No way. Why would you want that?"

"I've got almost everything that I want. Sexual gratification is the only thing that's alluded to in my grasp. And If I'm being honest, it's the perfect way to solidify my place as leader amongst these worshippers. Seeing their leader take one of the most powerful magical users and fucking his brains out." He smiled.

"Fuck you, Sebastian!" Y/N said.

"Fine, have it your way, Luv." Brother Blood's body glowed once again as Dick started to dig the knife into his throat as he groaned in pain.

"Okay. Okay! Stop! I'll do whatever you want, I swear. Just don't… just don't hurt him."

Brother Blood stops his magic and nods as he walks towards his throne and sits down as he spreads his legs wide and smiles. The pool's reflection made him look ominous and eerie as the whole church waited to see what the hero would do. Would he swallow his pride and ego and degrade himself for their leader, or let his boyfriend die?

Y/N flushed and looked at Sebastian with such hate as he began to strip his clothes off until he was buck naked for all the Church of Blood and Brother Blood.

"Good boy. Now, come here and bend over my lap." Sebastian ordered.

[bi-bard]

What was Kindness in Our Eyes is Now a Blemished Masterpiece - Sebastian Sanger Imagine [HBO's Titans]

Title: What was Kindness in Our Eyes is Now a Blemished Masterpiece

Pairing: Sebastian Sanger X Reader

Based On: Resolve.

Word Count: 1,809 words

Warning(s): kidnapping, cult behavior

Summary: In which two people want the other to see their side of something monumental, only to be met with stubbornness and refusal.

Author's Note: I did it! Another one done!

Part One of "September" [Release Date: 10/13/2023]

Part Two of "September" [Release Date: 10/15/2023]

YEARBOOK - SLEEPING AT LAST WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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When I think back to the night of the blood moon, I remember Sebastian trying to keep me from it. Trying to keep me safe.

And I think about how I refused to listen to him.

Sebastian and I were sitting in the back of the RV while the Titans explained what was going on. Where we were going, what we were actually facing... none of it sounded good.

"You shouldn't be here," Sebastian muttered to me.

I looked at him. "What?"

"This is too dangerous. You should've gone home."

"Well, no...," I said. "Considering the current situation, I feel safest with the car full of people with cool powers."

"You wouldn't be in this situation if you went home before."

"Sebastian, if they're going after you, then chances are that I wouldn't be safe no matter what I did or where I went. I would be at least followed no matter what."

His eyes closed. I leaned my head against his shoulder.

I wanted to convince him that I wasn't scared. That I was going to be brave and could face everything that was in front of us. But I think he saw through it. He could see that I was nervous about everything and that not knowing what could happen made me want to hide from the world.

That feeling didn't ease as we made our way into the underground base that was around the back of the supermarket that had been built on top of the old asylum.

Granted that I don't have a full grasp on how I felt once we got there. At that point, many of the memories became a blur due to the chaos of it all and the injuries that I got during the whole thing.

I remember snippets. Pieces.

I remember seeing a photograph of one of Sebastian's neighbors with another woman, who explained was the woman from the police station. We both agreed that I was right earlier. I was safer with the Titans than I was on my own away from all of this.

I remember seeing the storybook talking about Sebastian's destiny. The end of the world and the blood moon and all of that.

I remember the sounds of a hoard of cult followers finding their way into the asylum to surround us.

After that, it becomes a bit messy. I have jumbled memories about the asylum's layout. Of someone yelling for me as I got pulled away. Of someone's hands grabbing me and dragging me away before my vision started going dark.

But it was all messy. Bits and pieces assembled to make a picture that didn't quite work. An incomplete timeline.

The next solid memory I had was waking up in some cell somewhere.

I looked around the room. It was dark, looked as if it had been carved into a mountain, and was small enough that it felt like I couldn't take more than three steps before I found myself on the other side of the room.

I turned around and banged on the door. "Hey! Let me out of here! Now!"

I continued hitting the wall and yelling. I hoped that causing enough chaos would get someone to listen to me or at least give me some answers. I wanted to be as irritating as I had ever been.

"Stop!"

I froze when I heard a voice on the other side of the door.

"You will be called upon soon enough."

"By who," I asked, stepping forward to look through the small hole in the door. I couldn't see anyone.

"Mother has found a purpose for you."

"Well, you can tell your mommy to go fuck herself because I have no interest in taking part in whatever purpose she's 'found' for me."

"Have you always been so cynical," a new voice chimed in. A woman's voice. I found myself making eye contact with her through the door. "I promise that the wait will be worth it."

"You... You're the woman in the photo. The one from the police station."

She just hummed. "My original plan was not as effective as I wished it to be."

"Sebastian's mother," I murmured.

"Thankfully, I have been known for adapting well to new situations."

"You don't have him. Kind of an important element to your plan, isn't he?"

She chuckled. "But I got all that I need to keep him... including you."

I would have found my way to that cell no matter where I had been. At home or not. Unaware or not. I had always been some facet to her plan.

"Now, be patient, you will be called upon soon enough."

As she walked away, I found my hands beating on the door again. I yelled again. Louder than before. About how she couldn't do this. About how she needed to let me go. Anything and everything that came to mind that I hoped would appeal to some logical side of her. Nothing worked.

It felt like I spent days in that cage. In reality, it was hours. I didn't realize how easy it was to mess with a person's sense of time.

I wasn't visited by anyone else. Well, it didn't feel like that. No one else spoke to me. I had some silent entity that slid food into me once. The woman had come back once or twice, trying to convince me to join their little cult.

I refused.

I wasn't going to betray Sebastian and the people that had protected me. No matter how scared or tired I was. I refused to do that.

After far too long, the door opened. I stood up, trying to straighten my back and appear bigger than I was. Two men walked in, each wearing black robes.

"Mother has requested your presence."

I didn't have time to speak before the two of them grabbed my arms. They led me out of the cell and then walked me through the halls of whatever base we were in.

I was led into some great hall of sorts. There was an entire crowd of people in black robes. I wondered how many of them I would truly recognize if I looked at them for long enough. How many of them had quietly surrounded me for weeks or months or years.

I found myself in front of a staircase leading up to a pool of some liquid that I couldn't see.

Standing at the top of that staircase was Sebastian.

I let out a shaky breath. His eyes went wide as he seemed to do the same.

"(Y/n)..."

He quickly ran down the steps. I only had to take a few steps forward before he had wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes, burying my face in his shoulder.

"I was scared that I was never going to see you again," he muttered.

"So was I," I replied. I leaned back, cupping the sides of his face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he put his hands over mine. "Are you?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does."

"I hope you can understand my actions now," his mother spoke up, "after all that I have shown you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What is she talking about? What did she show you?"

She ignored me. "Take your rightful place and you will never have to be abandoned again."

"I never abandoned him-"

"And now he can ensure that you never will."

Sebastian stepped away from me. I tried to step forward and grab his hand again. I had just been released from a cage after being kidnapped and held hostage in some weird cave. He was the only familiar thing I had... the only safe thing.

I needed him to come back. I needed to hold on for at least a little while. I needed him to trust me. In the end, he had known me far longer than he'd known her. Surely, she hadn't had enough time to truly get to him. Not like this.

He turned back to look at me, simply nodding before going to walk back to the pool.

"Sebastian," I said quietly.

'It'll be okay," he promised.

I let his hand slip from mine. I was left surrounded by the rest of the cult followers.

I didn't truly know what was happening. The storybook that we had found in the asylum only told of the aftermath of all of this. Not how he would get there.

"This will make everything okay," he muttered.

It wasn't until I saw his mother pass some bowl over to Sebastian that it all seemed to click.

"No!"

I tried to run forward but was stopped by someone grabbing me and forcing me back to the ground.

May moved to stand in front of me.

"So brave," she said, grabbing my jaw. "All of that passion... out of devotion. I promise that you will have a place in his kingdom. That's why you're here."

I glared at her before jerking my head and pulling my head out of her hold.

"Now, quiet. You are about to witness the beginning of greatness."

As she turned back to face Sebastian, there was a loud crash. I scrambled backward a bit as I found myself staring into the face of a green gorilla.

"Holy shit," I muttered to myself.

That was the beginning of the chaos.

The members of the cult began to run out as the rest of the Titans made their way into the room. I shoved my back against the wall, watching everything unfold in front of me.

I couldn't hear anything. I heard yelling and fighting but it was all layering on top of each other. I couldn't hear what was happening.

I looked at Sebastian. He was standing next to the pool, holding the bowl close to his chest. I tried to wave him over. To get him out of the way of the whole thing. He didn't move. He just paused and furrowed his eyebrows at me. I copied him.

When I saw him lift the bowl to his lips, I shoved myself off the ground. I couldn't get to him fast enough before he stepped into the pool. I made it to the bottom of the steps.

I looked at the surface, waiting to see him come back out. As I listened to the chaos unfolding around me, I felt my heart drop further and further. I felt someone grab my hand and start pulling me away from the scene. It was meant to keep me safe, but I couldn't truly think about that in the moment.

All I could think was how this was the point when I knew that Sebastian had turned his back on me.

That I knew I had truly lost him.

And he would never be forgiven.

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[bi-bard]

Peaceful - Sebastian Sanger Imagine [Titans]

Title: Peaceful

Pairing: Sebastian Sanger X Reader

Word Count: 1,468 words

Waring(s): brief mention of murder/arrest

Summary: (Y/n) and Sebastian had been dancing around each other for far too long. When circumstances take place that neither one of them could have ever predicted, there may be enough of a push for both of them to finally take a step forward.

Author's Note: I would like to think that none of you are surprised by this. After so many years, y'all know my type.

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I met Sebastian a long time ago.

In all honesty, it was a bit of a blur of exactly when I met him. I just knew that we had grown close faster than I had grown close to anyone else before. He was easily the closest thing I had ever had to a best friend.

It had become a habit for me to show up at his shop with food or coffee just so I could spend time there.

"Seb! I've got coffee!"

It took a minute, but he soon walked out from the back of the shop.

"Hey," I smiled, holding out a cup. "I know it's a little late, but I thought you'd like this."

"Thank you," he muttered with a shy smile as he took the cup.

"How've you been," I asked.

"Good, fine," he nodded. "Um, busy. I- uh- I spent all day working on this guy."

He motioned at the animal on the counter.

I furrowed my eyebrows before walking around the counter so I could look at his work. I grinned at it.

"I am so jealous of your work," I said. "You make small detail work look like it's second nature."

"It- It's nothing."

"Nothing?" I scoffed. "If I could hold my hand this steady, I would never stop showing off."

"Maybe you should cut back on the caffeine," he replied. I looked over at him. "Stops your hands from shaking."

I laughed before lightly elbowing him in the side. "Ass."

He didn't speak back, instead choosing to take another sip of his coffee as he shrugged at me.

"How was your day," he asked.

"Good, good," I nodded. "Oh, that book series that I've been looking for? I found it. All of it. And not for a small fortune either."

"That special edition you wanted?"

"With the beautiful covers and the pretty page edges and everything," I put a hand on my chest as I smiled to myself. "Had to drop it off at home before I brought your coffee over."

"Do you not trust me around your fancy books?"

"I don't trust the rest of the world around my fancy books," I corrected. "You are an exception. You may come to visit them whenever you'd like."

He chuckled, looking down for a moment.

"God, I'm so excited about them..."

I started rambling about the book series. I had a habit of doing that. Sebastian never interrupted me when I did. He just sat and listened. I appreciated that. Never feeling like I was wasting someone's time. It was nice.

It took me a while, but I noticed that something was different during my speech.

I looked over at him. He was staring at me. There was this... glazed over look in his eyes. It made me pause for a moment. Like all I could do was fixated on it.

I took a deep breath before speaking up, "Seb?"

He jumped a bit, blinking a few times. "Sorry."

"It's alright," I replied. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, just... just tired."

"You sure?"

He nodded.

"Maybe we should call it a night?"

Another nod. "I... I have to get prepared for that meeting anyway."

"Let me know if you need a practice crowd," I grinned. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see you."

I waved as I walked out of the shop.

I wish that I could have predicted what was going to happen within the next multiple days.

I thought that everything was okay. I was still visiting Seb. He told me about how his meeting didn't go to plan. But nothing seemed particularly strange. it just felt like normal life.

And then, I got a call from the police department.

Sebastian had gotten arrested for murder.

They wouldn't let me see him. I was angry and scared and worried. I couldn't afford to be there all day with no promise of seeing him. I just wasn't in a position to do that.

"Can- Can you call me? Is there a way to leave you my number and have you call-"

My discussion with the woman at the desk was cut short by a loud crash. I stepped back for a moment. It took me a split second to realize the chaos unfolding before I ran outside.

I rounded the building, making it to the alleyway next to it. I saw Sebastian getting dragged into a car.

"Hey!" I yelled, running over to the man. "Let him go!"

"I'm saving him," the man said like I would just accept him abducting my best friend.

"I don't give a shit!" I stepped between him and the door.

"Move."

He went to grab me but I ducked into the car, sitting right next to Sebastian in the backseat.

"What are you doing?"

"Take him, then you take me too," I replied.

"Get out."

I buckled the seatbelt before crossing my arms over my chest. "No."

The man looked at the other person in the car, who seemed to relent to my demands. The door shut next to me.

"(Y/n)," Sebastian asked.

"You didn't think I'd let you get abducted alone, did you?" I forced a grin to him.

Honestly, I hadn't thought about the consequences of this. I just reacted. All I wanted to do was to protect Sebastian. It was a ridiculous idea, but it was all that I had.

I didn't think about any of it before we had found ourselves in the middle of the woods, both of us sitting together on a blanket as the rest of the team around us worked out some kind of plan for their next steps.

"They've been doing this for a while," I said, looking at the RV. "I can see it. When people have been around each other for so long that their motions are just... automatic."

"Like us?" Sebastian muttered.

"Oh, we're a prime example," I chuckled, nodding as I looked back at him.

There was a pause between us.

"Why did you come with us," Sebastian asked quietly. "You... You didn't need to. You could have gone home. Forgot about me. I... I'm nothing of importance-"

"You are to me," I cut him off.

He looked down, twiddling with his thumbs.

"You are the most important person in my life," I explained. "You have been for a very long time now."

I reached out and touched the side of his face.

"And it's not because of some great power or responsibility or whatever they call what is happening now," I continued. "But because you are one of the best people I have ever met. You are everything to me."

He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into my touch a little more.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised. "Not just because they've seen my face and being with the Titans is probably safer than being on my own. But because I... I want to be with you, Seb."

There was this long pause between us as his eyes opened. I grinned at him. He nervously grinned back, looking down at the ground.

I pulled my hand away slowly.

"Seb?" I said quietly. He looked back at me. "Can I kiss you?"

"Do you want to?"

I nodded. "I have for a while."

"Oh..."

There was another pause. "Can I?"

He stammered a little bit when he realized that he hadn't answered me. "Yeah- I mean, yes, if you want to-"

I leaned over and pressed my lips to his.

It felt like time suddenly caught up with me. Like some part of me had been stuck in that store where we first met and now that we had finally kissed, it was sent flying back into my chest. So much lost time was being made up for with one kiss.

It was awkward. Short.

I leaned back slowly. I smiled when I saw that his eyes stayed shut for a little while longer. His eyes opened before he finally smiled back at me.

I glanced over his shoulder and chuckled. "We have an audience."

He turned around.

Rachel was standing up by the RV, seemingly waiting for us to be done with our moment together.

He chuckled and look back at me, covering his blushing face with his hands.

"We may need to get used to that," I muttered. "I don't think you're going to be left alone for a while."

"It'll be worth it," he mumbled back, reaching over to grab my hand.

I looked down at our intertwined fingers.

I didn't know it at the time, but this was one of the last moments where I would feel completely at peace.

And it was all because of him.

All I could hope was that I brought him the same kind of peace that he brought to me.

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[bi-bard]

Chances are We are the Same; Against the Odds, Against the Grain - Sebastian Sanger Imagine [HBO's Titans]

Title: Chances are We are the Same; Against the Odds, Against the Grain

Pairing: Sebastian Sanger X Reader

Based On: Noble Aim

Word Count: 2,128 words

Warning(s): argument, cussing, mentions of past trauma

Summary: Two damaged people find that there are more similarities between them than they originally thought. That discovery leads them to becoming closer than either of them thought that they'd be.

Author's Note: "Kyli rework another set of imagines for this writing challenge!?!!" Yup. I did. Deal with it. (I actually have a crippling fear of my readers being mad at me)

Part Two of "September" [Release Date: 10/15/2023]

Part Three of "September" [Release Date: 10/17/2023]

YEARBOOK - SLEEPING AT LAST WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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There was always something about being friends with Sebastian that felt... different.

Something about the connection just felt entirely separate from any that I had ever had with a friend in the past.

I guess that was probably for the best. I hadn't been given the best luck with friends before him.

It never felt like anyone would stick around long. They'd leave me or they'd do something that made me finally leave them. It was a pattern that had followed me for so long that I had stopped trying to find any kind of connection. Being alone was safer. Smarter. I valued it. And I lied to myself that it was what I wanted when I found myself longing for something other than my own company.

And then, I met Sebastian, and I suddenly couldn't lie to myself anymore.

It always felt like it was more a matter of when Sebastian and I would meet than it was a matter of if we would ever meet. As if some force in the universe had pushed us into each other paths and was determined to make sure that we ran into each other. I was going to be sure to thank them if I ever tracked them down.

Falling for Sebastian felt as natural as being friends with him, though I found it to be a far crueler joke than before from that force in the universe.

I hid it for as long as I was physically able to.

I had finally found something permanent. Something good and consistent. I wasn't going to risk ruining that for the sake of my own desires and longing. I had to recognize the risks.

I had every intention of keeping my true feelings to myself until they died, or I did. Whichever came first.

But as time went on, they just got stronger and stronger. It was irritating. I wasn't able to talk to him without my heart speeding up exponentially. Without my skin warming up. Without a million and one "possible futures" flashing through my mind. It was infuriating. I had never wanted to feel like this, but now I could not escape it.

I had barely planned on telling Sebastian the truth that day.

I remember leaving my apartment with the thought that I was going to need to sooner or later. Neither choice was going to be better or worse at stopping the pain that would come from him pushing me away.

Maybe by the time I had gotten to the shop, some part of me had convinced myself that nothing would go wrong. Maybe it was while I was getting the two of us coffee or when I was thinking about how I was going to convince him to step away from his work for a walk with me. Maybe it wasn't until I walked through the shop's door and saw Sebastian smile at me so genuinely that it almost knocked the air from my lungs.

Maybe none of that had happened.

Maybe it was as simple as me making a stupid decision while we were sitting together in the park, quietly chatting while sitting on a bench about his work and his game. He simply looked so happy, so at peace. I could suddenly imagine doing this for the rest of my life, no matter how long that may have been.

It was when there was this pause. Where everything lulled for a moment.

That was when I made the decision that I never meant to make.

"Sebastian..."

He looked at me. I smiled at him.

"I... I have something to tell you."

He shifted a bit. "Alright... what is it?"

I suddenly felt my mouth go dry. It was as if I had forgotten every single word I had ever known. This was a terrible decision. Why did I do this? Could I still back out? I felt like a teenager.

"(Y/n)?"

I took a deep breath. "I... I- umm... I just wanted to tell you that I really like you. A lot. And um, after being friends for so long and knowing each other so well, I... I think I love you."

The silence that followed made me sick to my stomach.

It was terrifying, overwhelming. I knew that ever admitting this was going to be nerve-wracking, but this was much more intense than I ever thought it would be.

"I think...," Sebastian trailed off for a moment. "I think you know what I'm going to say."

I don't think he realized how much I feared knowing what he was going to say. All my brain had come up with was worst-case scenarios. Why would I ever want to predict that?

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," he finally added.

"Oh," I mumbled. I forced a chuckle out of my throat. "Y'know, it's alright if you don't feel the same. We can just forget-"

"You need to go," he cut me off. "Now."

"Sebastian-"

"Go!"

I blinked at him a few times. I had never heard him be angry before. I was actually starting to think that it wasn't possible.

"Don't bother trying to lie to me anymore-"

"Lie? What-"

"- just leave me alone!"

My jaw clenched.

I watched him carefully. I was looking for some sign that this was all a very misguided and mean-spirited joke. There wasn't any. It was all just coldness.

I let out a shaky sigh.

"Y'know what, fine," I shrugged and pushed myself up from my seat. "I'll... I'll just fucking go, then."

Sebastian didn't respond. He just looked down at his lap. That sickening feeling in my stomach simply got worse. I wasn't even enough for him to look me in the eye while he did this shit.

I almost scoffed. "Have a great fucking day, you dick."

I turned around and walked away. I was fighting the urge to cry. To cry and yell and fight him. I was just so tired. So angry. It was all too much for me. Too familiar.

The walk home was miserable.

The night that followed it even more so.

And the next few days made me feel weak. Stupid. I felt like I had missed obvious signs. Like I always had. I should have expected all of this. I should have known that something was going to happen. Holding onto someone like Sebastian shouldn't have been something that I expected.

I was hoping to never have to see Sebastian again.

And then, I found myself missing a jacket.

I was going to shrug it off. Accept that I was going to need a new jacket and I had lost it. However, I knew where it was. And because I knew that it was constantly tickling the back of my mind. I wasn't going to find peace until I finally went to get it.

So, I had to go back to that stupid shop and see his stupid face again.

I clenched my jaw as I walked inside. Sebastian was standing at the counter. He looked at me. I saw his eyes go wide.

He looked tired. More tired than I had ever seen him before. I almost felt bad. Guilty. But I shouldn't have. It was his fault that this had happened, not mine. Why should I feel guilty for his choices?

I shook my head a bit. "I just forgot a jacket here a few days before...I just need it back."

"It's... It's just in the other room."

I nodded and went to walk around him.

Even after all of this, he let me walk around the place freely. I was shocked. I assumed that he'd just throw the jacket at me without another word. Or he'd just throw me out and tell me to buy a new one. I didn't expect for him to remember what jacket I was talking about or where it was in the shop.

I found it on a chair in the back. It had been folded and placed carefully into its spot. Like he knew that I was going to come for it. Like he knew that it mattered to me, so he wanted to take care of it. To make sure that it was perfect for me.

I felt an ache in my chest that such care was going to be gone after this. I wasn't going to have someone treat me so kindly. And that such kindness could be accompanied by such cruelty as what he had shown me. The anger and poison that he spoke to me with.

I hated feeling so conflicted. I hated feeling like I was losing something and didn't have a chance to keep it. I had no way to hold onto anything or anyone. I thought that Sebastian was different. Different from everyone that had walked away from me or forced me to walk away from them. It was why I held onto him so tightly for so long.

I guess that I was wrong.

"I got it," I said as I walked back into the main lobby. I went to go back around the counter without another word.

Sebastian reached over and tried to grab my arm. "(Y/n), wait-"

I stumbled away from him, pulling my arm as far from him as I could. "Don't."

"Can we just... Can we talk?"

"No," I shook my head.

"Please, just a minute. Please."

"No, you don't get to do that," I snapped. "Yell at me and tell me to leave just so you can turn around and beg to talk like this is my fault!"

He closed his eyes for a moment.

"Do you have any idea how that felt," I asked. "I have been left by people, family, friends... over and over again. I... I thought that you were different. You seemed safe and constant and good. You seemed like you cared about me."

"I do-"

"But the moment that I made myself vulnerable, told you how I felt about you, you treated me like I was some... freak," I continued. "Like I was cruel and vindictive and like I would ever use something like that to hurt you! Like I had done something evil and twisted for saying that I loved you."

He paused, staring at me.

"Do you know how that felt? Getting shoved away like that? If you didn't feel the same, you could have just said that-"

"But I do!"

I scoffed before going to start walking toward the door. "Now which one of us is the liar?"

"No, no, please," he followed me, grabbing my arm again. I didn't pull away this time, but I wasn't sure why. "I... I do care for you. I... I do love you."

"Then why did you do that to me," I asked, trying to appear stronger than I felt. It wasn't working.

"I got scared. Terrified. I... I thought you were going to leave or hate me, so... my mind apparently thought that the best choice was to force you to."

I looked down as his hand moved from holding my arm to holding my hand. "How do you think I felt?"

"I'm sorry," he explained. "I'm so sorry. I wish it hadn't taken losing you for me to finally say that."

I found myself not wanting to pull away.

I thought that I would. I thought that if he ever tried to talk to me or touch me, I would yell at him, hit him, do anything to shove him away. Not stand there and let him hold my hand as he promised how much he cared for me.

Maybe I should've realized how much of that anger was just trying to hide how much I had wanted him to reach for me.

"(Y/n)..."

I reached down and put my free hand over his. I looked back at him.

I saw a look on his face. This desperation that I had never seen in him before... or anyone before. I had never seen someone that seemingly wanted me to stay so badly.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his for a few moments. A matter of seconds. His free hand touched my side as I did so.

When I pulled away again, I saw Sebastian standing with his eyes still closed. He slowly opened his eyes again. I watched as a smile began to creep onto his lips as he looked back at me.

"Is it too soon to assume that I'm forgiven," he asked quietly.

I chuckled before stepping forward and hugging him as tightly as I could. He hugged me back, arms tightening a bit more as he seemed to fully realize what had happened between us.

And yes, he was entirely forgiven.

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[bi-bard]

In Your Disbelief, You'll Clear Your Eyes as If You're Seeing Light for the Very First Time - Sebastian Sanger Imagine [HBO's Titans]

Title: In Your Disbelief, You'll Clear Your Eyes as If You're Seeing Light for the Very First Time

Pairing: Sebastian Sanger X Reader

Based On: Goes On and On

Word Count: 940 words

Warning(s): none

Summary: (Y/n) and Sebastian find themselves in the care of the Titans. While they are dealing with the reality of being suddenly pulled away from their lives, (Y/n) tries to keep hopes high with the promise of what could be after all of this is said and done.

Author's Note: This one is really short because the story for this song didn't really need to be super long.

Part One of "September" [Release Date: 10/13/2023]

Part Three of "September" [Release Date: 10/17/2023]

YEARBOOK - SLEEPING AT LAST WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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I had never been as overwhelmed as I was when Sebastian and I found ourselves being dragged into a huge RV and driven into the woods.

Well, Sebastian was dragged. I had kind of impulsively followed.

Regardless of how we found ourselves there, we were both sitting in the middle of the woods with a bunch of strangers. Strangers that seemed to all have some kind of powers and some kind of knowledge about everything going on around us that we didn't fully understand.

I had a vague understanding of who we were with.

There was Dick and Kory. They seemed to be the leaders of the leaders of the group. There was Rachel, who seemed to have a connection to Sebastian through whatever that woman wanted to push at in the police station. There was Conner and Gar. I didn't know much about either. Just that Conner had superstrength and was just a little bit terrifying when I had to force him to let me go with Sebastian.

Beyond that, I didn't know anything about them.

They spoke about helping us. Protecting Sebastian from that woman in the police station. Sebastian had described a bit of that to me. Something about the woman insisting that he repeat these three words that were apparently powerful in some way.

It was so strange.

Just days ago, we were living in peace. Making breakfast and kissing before either one of us left. Me sitting and organizing my CDs while he worked on his game. Existing in this perfect silence that we had created for ourselves. It was quiet, but it was exactly as it should have been.

Now, we were running for our lives.

It was too much.

I was sitting on the half-log that was next to Sebastian's. He had his hood on, staring down at the ground. I wanted to help him. I just didn't know how. This situation had never crossed my mind as one that was possible.

I took a deep breath.

"How are you feeling," I asked quietly.

"Scared, confused, overwhelmed," Sebastian muttered back. "Take your pick."

I reached over and grabbed his hand. "It's gonna be okay."

"How can you know that?"

"Because we're always okay," I shrugged. Sebastian scoffed and shook his head. "You're right. That was bullshit. I'm sorry."

I saw a small grin cross his lips.

I grinned back. "But... from what you told me about what happened in that police station... a lot of this is your choice. And when or if it comes down to it, I have faith that you'll pick the right one."

"Why?"

"Because you're you and I know you," I scootched on the seat so I could be a little closer to him. "I know that I've chosen a man who is smart and kind. Who can understand a situation for more than what it is on the surface."

He chuckled. "So much hope."

"Yup," I replied. I pulled his hand over to press my lips to the back of it. "I'll always have hope for you."

He nodded. "Thank you."

I just nodded back to him.

I turned my head back to stare at the old fire pit in front of us. Previously burned leaves and sticks had left this black pit on the ground, surrounded perfectly by rocks. Perfectly contained chaos. A black hole with a barrier.

I tilted my head at it.

I thought of Sebastian in that moment. This kind, quiet person with the possibility to break the barrier and cause chaos on a wide scale. I wondered what it was like. Beyond stressful, of course. What was it like to be told that there was so much at your fingertips that you just had to reach out and take it?

"After all of this," I said, "we should move."

"What," he asked, chuckling again. "That's what you're thinking about right now?"

"Our future?" I looked at him. "Of course, I am."

He ran his thumb over my knuckles. "Alright, fine. Where would you want to move?"

"Somewhere quiet. Private," I explained. "Where no one could bother us. Where fate and destiny wouldn't matter anymore."

"Sounds lovely."

"We could have that," I replied. "A perfect future like that. A place for us to call home. And then, we'd just let time pass around us. Just something peaceful."

"How long have you been thinking about this?" his eyebrows furrowed.

I shrugged. "A while."

I had been thinking about it since the first night that I stayed at his place. The idea of it made my chest feel warm. Full of love. It was something that I thought about every time that I woke up before him. He would get his game developed and then we would find our own little place to live without the noise and stress. We'd both have a home. A place where we could both exist with no fear of rejection or abandonment.

"I love you," I said after a little while.

He grinned at me. "I love you too."

After that, Rachel walked down to us from the RV.

I looked back at the old firepit, letting the pair talk about what had happened at the police station. I didn't want to interfere with something that I didn't truly know anything about.

I was going to pull my hand away so he could focus a bit better, but I felt his hand grip mine a bit tighter when I tried. I grinned to myself, adjusting my grip so it was a bit better.

I knew then that my hope was well-placed.

Well, I thought that my hope was well-placed.

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