#seb means so well but he doesn't always DO well alright

[hippogrifffeathers]

Don't Blame Me (Part 1)

Sebastian's concerns for MC's safety are at an all-time high. He's had it with their recklessness, their decision to trust a goblin the final nail in the coffin- if they refuse to listen to reason, insisting on continually endangering themselves, then Sebastian would simply have to take measures into his own hands.

When rumours begin to circulate about their latest exploit (the takedown of an ashwinder base) he's hit with an epiphany. Perhaps the enemy of his friend, could be his ally.

Whatever happened next, at least he'd always know MC was alive, no matter what the cost.

fic is on ao3 here

The heat of the Undercroft threatened to become unbearable, stifling air brought on by countless blasts aimed at the numerous target dummies, robes long since discarded and thrown to the side in a mindless shuffle, sleeves rolled up and rivulets of sweat clinging to the nape of his neck- anyone else would have long since abandoned the burning heat of the room to the cooler air of the Castle.

Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to care, hoping the air might burn some of the energy from his body, tear the frustration from his lungs, perhaps he could finally claim a night of uninterrupted sleep when all this was over.

There’s no concern of getting interrupted in here, nobody to tell him to calm down or to talk him through his racing mind. Ominis had holed himself up in some corner of the library to finish an essay, and the only other person who knew about the Undercroft had rarely visited the hidden alcove before their fight with him.

Unwillingly, his eyes drifted to the side, catching on the open triptych.

His next basic cast threatened to topple the training dummy over, viciously tearing from his wand on impulse.

MC had been avoiding him- the rare times they were even in the Castle, that was. Like they had any right to be the one avoiding him, after what they had done. He saw the way they slipped around corners at the sight of him, head stubbornly turned in the other direction when they crossed paths in the corridors- things he only caught sight of from the periphery of his vision, the glances he caught when they weren’t looking.

It’s how he knew they were so frequently sneaking out. They hadn’t been at dinner for an entire week now, fleeing the grounds at a moment's notice, and none of the staff could care less.

Neither could he. Sebastian had no interest in whatever fruitlessly heroic missions they indulged in when they took flight from the grounds, whatever daring mystery had caught their attention now. He. Didn’t. Care.

Except, that’s a lie. 

A huge lie, it’s impossible to ignore. His skin itches at the thought of what dangers they may be facing, without anyone at their side to defend them, his gaze can’t help but seek them out in a room, settling on the rhythmic movement of their breathing, the steady gait in their walk, all signs of health- of life , anything to settle the racing fears in his mind.

Thoughts made worse when he remembers their latest argument, that goblin friend of theirs. Disgusting. Impossible. Terrifying . How could they be so stupid ?

A hissing diffindo slices the head clean off the training dummy. He casts reparo with hardly a second thought.

On the worst nights, images of them plagued his dreams. MC, dead in the middle of a goblin encampment, dragged off in a cage to meet their fate at Ranrok’s hands, bled dry of their magic until they had nothing left of use to Ranrok, pallor ashen and empty, lying dead at the goblin’s hands. Images fuelled by their latest visit to Feldcroft, the way the goblins had focused so intently on MC as they arrived in the midst of battle, the words of violence as they recognised MC in their trip to the Mines, none of it any surprise to the target of their ire, like they were used to it- even as the goblins’ attitude was only getting more violent, more targeted.

None of those dreams felt like his usual terrors- nothing like how the memory of Anne being cursed had haunted his sleep for months afterwards, or how images of his parents’ death still lingered on nights when he felt particularly alone or hopeless. No, these dreams felt different, leaving him lurching awake, his chest tight with panic.

Deep down he knew it was because these dreams were different- because every single image his brain conjured up was entirely possible. 

MC had always been reckless, but they were taking it too far, putting their faith- their precious friendship- in the hands of a goblin , one close with Ranrok, no less.

The knowledge sat like poison on his tongue, disgust and fear raged a vicious war within him at the thought.

How long until MC was betrayed, and nobody would be there to save them?

Years spent in Feldcroft, dealing with the constant threat of Goblin Loyalists, and Sebastian had never seen them as violent, as determinedly targeted as when they clashed against MC. Terror races in his veins at the thought of what they might do if they finally got their claws on MC, what horrors MC might face before the goblins inevitably killed them. 

Look at what they had done to Anne, for the mere crime of existing- what would they do to someone who was actively seeking out and destroying their camps, intentionally getting in their way and investigating their plans?

MC was ignorant to the true nature of goblins, couldn't understand it like Sebastian did. They were blinded by their own naivety, mindlessly putting their trust in centuries-old Keepers and goblins, with no care for how their own life hung in the balance.

Deaf to reason, MC refused to listen to Sebastian, insistently running out of the castle to face unnamed threats, believing themself invincible or ignorant to the fact that they weren’t- it was tearing him apart.

It was in dreams that the truth was hardest for him to deny or hide from. 

If MC kept doing this, they would die. He was going to lose them.

Just like he’d lost his parents, like he was losing Anne- he hadn’t stopped those from happening, he’d been blind to the danger until it was too late- but not with MC. This time he could see the threat coming, he wouldn’t turn away from the danger they were in- not like MC was so determined to. He’d not allow their ignorance to get in the way, he couldn't . 

Sebastian was tired. Tired of losing the people he cared about, of feeling helpless to protect them and feeling haunted by the ‘what ifs’ for the rest of his life.

He couldn’t lose MC too, no matter what the cost.

---------------------

“An entire base, I heard.”

“Natty owes them her life.”

“You think they’d tell us what happened if I asked?”

Sebastian grits his teeth as the whispers of Hogwarts gossip follows him through the Castle, whispers which had been impossible to escape since breaking out at breakfast that morning, all about how MC had supposedly taken out an entire Ashwinder base to rescue Natsai Onai- a story which had apparently originated from the staff themselves, and Natty was making no effort to refute, happy to praise the heroic prowess of her friend.

The rumour itself isn’t surprising, not to him. He’d seen first hand what MC was capable of- more so than anybody else he’d dare wager, they were the most competent magical study Sebastian knew and would confess to as much regardless of whether they weren’t talking right now- no, it was the rest that frustrated him.

MC had raided an entire Ashwinder base, on their own. It infuriated him- this same recklessness, the blatant disregard for their own safety, had they even paused to think , to consider the risks before acting? How hard would it have been for them to pen a note to him for back-up first? Regardless of their last conversation, he would have been at their side in an instant, and they could have burned down that Ashwinder base together- he would have thought MC knew that, regardless of how petulant they had been acting recently.

Privately, if only to himself, Sebastian could confess that not all of his frustration was directed towards MC.

He’d been neglectful.

So caught up in the threat of Ranrok and his loyalists, it had been easy to forget about the sight of Victor Rookwood that day in the Three Broomsticks- too easily, he’d forgotten that loyalists were not the only ones hunting down MC.

At least against goblins, there was a wand-casting advantage- but with Ashwinders, MC could be facing any length of dark magic thrown against them, forbidden curses and conjurations against a student who had only been studying magic for a few months…

And yet, the realisation didn’t send the same white hot fear racing down his spine as when he thought about MC going up against goblins, something Sebastian didn’t care to question, but the thought of the dark wizards still worried him. Especially since whatever MC was doing when they weren’t on castle grounds, was clearly drawing the ire of the Ashwinders when they already had a target on their backs.

What was so important, it took priority over their own life?

The triptych, Sebastian could understand- that was MC’s magic they were talking about, and they were investigating it with him - someone MC could rely on, who certainly wouldn’t allow himself to be in need of rescuing.

Which begged the question, why had Natty needed rescuing?

Ashwinders had been terrorising the highlands since before even Ranrok’s Loyalists had taken over, and they had only grown more bloodthirsty as their power grew- it wasn’t like the dark wizards to spare mercy on anyone, even a child. If Natty had been in their way, she should have been killed- not captured.

So why was she ?

Curiosity stabbed at the back of his mind like an errant gnat, an itch he couldn’t scratch without burning his pride and asking MC themself, breaking the silence between them.

He’d have to settle for the Hogwarts rumour mill, how dull and disappointing.

Still, he had to wonder what purpose Victor Rookwood had for pursuing MC like this, drawing their ire against Ashwinder encampments and, from what he had heard, poaching rings. Ranrok, MC had told him about- the goblin’s relentless pursuit of ancient magic, targeting MC for the knowledge they had, searching at the locations of previous keepers- Isadora Morganach’s old home, Rookwood Castle-

He stumbled in his steps, only vaguely aware of the way it drew Ominis’ attention his way, the frown in his friend’s browline, “Sebastian, are you alright?”

He pulled himself together enough to brush off the concern, resuming their casual stroll to lunch, “Y-yeah I just tripped, faulty stair. Let’s keep going.” If Ominis said anything in reply, Sebastian wasn’t paying enough attention to know, mind already reeling.

Rookwood Castle.

Oh Merlin, he was an idiot.

This went beyond some minor truce with Ranrok to hand over MC, beyond any anger with MC for disrupting Ashwinder operations.

Victor Rookwood was the descendant of a Keeper.

He had to know about the Ancient Magic, and if that were true then there was no way he’d be willing to hand MC over to Ranrok, not if he’d figured out that they were able to wield it. 

Rookwood wasn’t stupid enough to trust a goblin, as much was obvious to him from the moment MC identified the pair conspiring together in Hogsmeade. Sebastian knew immediately that whatever alliance this was, it was tentative at best, built from a single shared goal- one that, once met, would see an immediate end to the alliance, with what he hoped would be a devastating fallout.

And he had a suspicion on the identity of their shared goal- not a ‘what’, like MC seemed to suspect, but a ‘who’.

First, he needed more information.

-------------------

By Beasts class that afternoon, his head was still swimming with his earlier realisation, with nothing else to focus on but all the questions he didn’t have answers to, a rush of energy through his body as he waited for the moment class would be over and he could head to the clocktower, hoping to find Natty there.

Anything that happened between then and now would fade to a trivial blur.

Or, so he’d thought, until Howin lead them all into a penned clearing not too far from the Beasts hut, and the creature held within was enough to temporarily abate all thoughts of Rookwood and the Ashwinders from his mind.

A Unicorn .

Pure white coat practically shining under the winter sun, shaking its mane with a gracefulness Sebastian didn’t know was possible, the ethereal image interrupted only by the careful wrapping of bandages around its torso, the slight limp to its steps.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Unicorn’s were so rare-

“Not too close, that’s it, Unicorns are excellent reads of character, but they tend to show a preference for witches over wizards. I wouldn’t want to startle them, especially not at the moment. Hopefully we’ll be able to introduce you all in the future, once they’ve gotten used to their new surroundings.” Howin directed them several paces away from the fencing, but still within sight.

Sebastian’s sure he isn’t the only one holding his breath when the Unicorn seems to finally notice it has company, but after a few seconds of watching them all, assured nobody is moving closer, the beast huffs, resuming its grazing.

He swears he hears Poppy Sweeting practically vibrating with excitement. 

“Of course, their caution isn’t unwarranted. Magical creatures adapt their behaviours over time to ensure survival- the Unicorn is no different. Just about one of the most magically-imbued creatures that exist, from their hair to their blood, they are practically made of magic potential- a fact which puts them at great risk.” As if on cue, the Unicorn stumbled over its right hoof, the front of which had stitches racing up the leg, a detail he had missed until now.

He wasn’t the only one who realised. From the corner of his eye, Sebastian caught the twisted expression on MC’s face. Absent-mindedly, he wondered if they were feeling some sort of kinship with the beast, as Howin pressed on with her lecture.

“Unicorns are not aggressive by nature, despite how powerful they are, and we’d be better off describing them as ‘prey’ animals. To make up for this, Unicorns have a very keen judgement of character, and when combined with their breakneck speeds, they’re able to evade predators- well, most of the time.” The Professor sighed, anger bleeding into her tone, “This one, we rescued from a pack of poachers. Even the most agile of creatures can be caught off-guard, especially if their predator is cunning enough- their natural self-defence tools won’t always be enough.”

Sebastian tried to imagine that. One of the most pure and magical creatures in the known wizarding world, ruthlessly targeted and hunted down until it was overwhelmed on all sides- injured, alone, without escape. Helpless to the malicious whims of a predator who’d use them for their magical potential, and discard what remained.

It was too easy to imagine, felt too familiar to think about. Nausea curled on his tongue.

“Aren’t we just as bad, then?” One of his classmates interjected. A Gryffindor, Elijah Jennings, who stumbled over his words slightly when the full attention of the class fell on him, “I-I mean, keeping the Unicorn in captivity, even after they heal…how is that any better than the poachers?”

Howin didn’t seem upset by the line of questioning. If anything, she seemed happy to answer, as though she’d been hoping someone would ask. Knowing Howin, she probably had been.

“Well, what is kinder Mister Jennings- releasing the Unicorn back into the wild, where they’d continue to be targeted by predators and likely die in a matter of days, especially without the support of their pack- or keep them at Hogwarts, yes in captivity, but where we know they will be safe and protected from those who’d do them harm?”

At this Jennings shut his mouth, but more interesting were the reactions of several students to the left of Jennings. Poppy Sweeting, who looked like she couldn’t agree more. MC, who was nodding along to Howin’s words, even though their attention hadn’t wavered from the injured Unicorn.

Howin continued, and Sebastian found himself hanging on to her every word.

“Sometimes, in order to protect magical creatures- especially endangered ones- a difficult decision must be made on their behalf,” With a single flick of her band, Howin levitated a bundle of feed the Unicorn’s way, “What is better, an upset Unicorn, or a dead one? What is a little bit of unhappiness in the short term, if it means they stay safe in the long term?”

A heaviness settles amongst the group at her severe words, watching in silence as the Unicorn eyes the bundle of feed warily, caution in its every step as it approaches. Then, slowly, the head bows as it begins to eat, tail swishing to the side in satisfaction.

Satisfied she’s made her point Howin proceeds on with the lecture, failing to notice that not all of her students’ attentions had recovered from her earlier statement.

Sebastian forces his gaze away from where it had fixated on MC, but keeps them in his periphery even as class continues.

---------------------------

The Clocktower wasn’t as busy or loud as Sebastian was used to, but given it was the younger years on the roster today, he couldn’t complain about there being less spectators.

Besides, it didn’t really matter how busy it was- as long as it had attracted the attention of the one person he was looking for.

Fortunately, Natty had claimed her favoured spot on one of the upper viewing decks. Sebastian didn’t get the appeal of watching a bunch of amateurs that hardly know their basic cast from a protego duel, and he’d told Natty as much in the past, but the Gryffindor had insisted she found it interesting, so who was he to judge?

Especially when it provided the perfect opportunity to talk to her, uninterrupted.

“Surprised to see you here, from what I’ve heard shouldn’t you be raiding some Ashwinder base right about now?”

“Sebastian! It’s good to see you,” Natty beamed at him as he joined her by the railing, looking down on the Crossed Wands duel taking place, “And I believe we both know you have the wrong side of that rumour, my friend, I am not the one who raised as Ashwinder base.”

He shrugged, keeping his tone light, “We both know there’s no way you were an innocent bystander, Natty.”

Sebastian liked Natsai Onai, teaming up with the transfer student on a few occasions in their fourth year during Crossed Wands- her taste for adventure could rival that of his own, something she no doubt had been drawn to in MC, in not a dissimilar way as he had. But their friendship was tentative, Sebastian knew the Gryffindor’s opinions on magic differed greatly from his own, with a propensity for black-and-white thinking so typical of members of the lion house.

There were lines Natsai Onai wouldn’t cross, which he’d never cared for in the past, but knowing now that she was engaging with dangerous enemies and dragging MC into it, likely ignorant to just how in-danger their mutual friend was- a pit formed in his stomach with the knowledge Natty wouldn’t do what was necessary in the heat of battle, she’d let MC die if it meant never using ‘dark’ magic.

Worse still, she’d allowed herself to be landed in such a position that required MC engaging directly with an Ashwinder camp to save her. It was a fight to keep the ire from his tone, something he’d never had to do around the friendly Gryffindor in the past.

Instead, he kept any subtle dig from bursting forth, instead regarding Natty with a sympathetic tone, “Still, I can’t imagine how terrifying that was. Are you alright?”

Natty nodded, a smile still present on her face, as though it didn’t even bother her to think of what her own recklessness could have cost, “I’m fine, really I owe my life to MC- they did not let me stay imprisoned for long.”

Yes, that sounded infuriatingly like them- rushing into danger the minute someone else’s life was at stake. Sebastian could picture it now, their impulsive rush to be the hero, not even sparing a second thought for their own safety, relying only on sheer power to get themselves through.

He took a grounding breath, reminding himself what he was here for.

“How did you end up in such a precarious situation?” Sebastian keeps his curiosity light, eyes still observing the duel taking place below them in an image of casualness.

Natty matches his nonchalance, as he’d hoped she might, he liked to think that their friendship was strong enough that she’d feel comfortable sharing the details with him. That, and he supposed the fact Sebastian had his own rumours circulating about his out-of-castle adventures with MC certainly helped, “We’ve been investigating Harlow- MC and I, for some time now- our investigation led us to some of his victims in Hogsmeade,”

The name comes to him easily. Theopholis Harlow- Rookwood’s Second in Command. Merlin , how reckless could MC get? It wasn’t enough for them to be interrupting the operations of Ranrok and Rookwood, no, of course they had to be going after Theopholis Harlow too.

He tried to keep his frustrations at a simmer, as Natty continued, “I suppose I was too reckless, I didn’t even realise the Ashwinders had noticed me until it was too late- they took me to a hidden base next to the Hog’s Head, held me and another man they were extorting in some cells in the back rooms. Even then, I knew MC would find me- our friend is quite the powerhouse,” 

That , Sebastian knew, was an understatement. Still, he wasn’t sure if he appreciated Natty’s praise, or hated how she just assumed MC would come running to her aid, like putting their safety on the line was something that should be encouraged- “One moment I am pacing in my cell, the next I am hearing the distant sounds of combat, and then MC is arriving to save us. Upon our escape, I realised they had taken on the entire base on their own- defeated every Ashwinder who had been on patrol.” Natty shook her head slightly, unable to keep the edgings of awe out of her voice, “I don’t know how they did it, I almost wish I could have seen it for myself. Watching them fight is…incredible.”

Yes it is.

Sebastian could watch MC take on legions of goblins all day, wield powerful ancient magic like the extension of themself he suspects it is, commanding the elements at their will, and still couldn’t believe what he’d witnessed. It was no surprise to him that MC was capable of clearing an Ashwinder base alone, but he wished they wouldn’t.

Still, there was another part of Natty’s story that didn’t quite fit, that Sebastian couldn’t make sense of no matter how hard he tried.

Why wasn’t Natty dead?

Ashwinders weren’t known for their mercy, they had killed and tortured their way into power over local hamlets indiscriminately- male or female, child or adult, none were spared the mercy of the Ashwinders if you had dared to get in their way. Natty should have been killed the second she was spotted prying into their affairs.

So why wasn’t she?

The question wrapped tight around his mind, the final piece of the puzzle he just couldn’t fit the picture together without. 

This conversation had been pointless, leaving him only with the same questions as he’d started with.There was only one other person Sebastian could think of that might have any answers for him, and by Merlin , if they were still talking he wouldn’t have even gone to all this trouble in the first place-

His thoughts are interrupted once again by Natty.

“You and MC are close…right?” Her voice is low and quiet, hesitant in such a way he is completely unused to hearing from the normally self-assured Gryffindor, “You were with them in the Three Broomsticks when Rookwood came after them.”

His focus sharpens immediately at the slip of vulnerability, he almost forgets to reply, “Yeah, I remember.”

Natty nods, but doesn’t turn to look at him, her gaze distant even as she looks down on the next Crossed Wands match. There’s none of her usual excited interest in her now-distant expression. Sebastian waits, and soon after Natty continues.

“After we escaped MC..MC asked me not to tell Officer Singer or anybody else about- well, I don’t want to betray their trust. But I haven’t stopped thinking about it, I can’t stop worrying and…and I know you’re both close-”

Warmth rushes through his body as the muttered admission, the reminder of how he and MC were widely-acknowledged amongst the school for how close they had become- he’d not missed the way his former Herbology partner had silently made way for MC one day in class, or the whispers from his roommates when they don’t think he’s listening. 

All the more indulgent now, that it seems they are considered close enough for Natty to divulge MC’s secrets to him.

Sensing Natty’s hesitation, he urges her on, “I worry about them too, wish they’d tell me more so we can keep them safe.”

It had been the right thing to say, Natty nodded absently, “I-yes, me too. You deserve to know- the Ashwinders, they only captured me in an attempt to gain information on MC. When I wouldn’t tell them anything they- I…I believe they were using me to lure them in, as a trap.”

Sebastian’s breath catches in his chest, the final puzzle piece falling into his lap, ready for him to piece together.

Rookwood and his Ashwinders were after MC. He knew that, Natty knew that, Merlin, Sebastian would bet everyone in Hogwarts knew that by now- but what Natty was talking about was something entirely different. 

Capturing a Hogwarts student to lure their rescuer in, interrogating Natty for information- that took intent, it took desperation and more importantly, forethought .

“I was lucky MC rescued me when they did, any delay and I-MC could be- I overheard-” A deep, shuddering breath, horror laced Natty’s words when she spoke next, hardly above a whisper, “They were on their way. Rookwood and Harlow.”

His head snapped around to stare at Natty before he could stop himself, 

“You’re sure?”

“It was the first thing the Ashwinders did after taking me, contact Harlow.” Natty’s voice was solemn, “I have been so foolish , Sebastian. If I’d known they were so desperate to get to MC-

“Did you hear anything else? Why they are after MC?”

“No, but Rookwood and Harlow have given direct orders to all their followers- to capture MC on sight.” Natty sighed, unmoved by Sebastian’s sharp attention. A testament to how deep her worry ran, “I am not the only one who has concerns, Poppy Sweeting heard the same whispers among Rookwood’s Poachers. But when she tried to warn MC-”

Sebastian knew the ending to this particular tale, a familiar bristle of frustration swelling in him as he completed her sentence, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice, “They brushed it off.” Reckless. Disregard for their own safety. Ignorant.

“I am worried for them, Sebastian. You didn’t hear how desperate the Ashwinders were- and MC, it’s-it’s like they don’t even care . I could not keep this a secret- I figured if anybody could get through to them, it might be you.”

“You did the right thing, Natty. I’ll handle this, trust me, I won’t let any harm come to MC.”

His unwavering conviction seemed to settle some part of Natty’s worries as she sighed, suddenly looking as exhausted as Sebastian had been feeling, she offers him one final smile, looking far less burdened than she had for this entire conversation, “I know you won’t, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. You’re a good friend, Sebastian.”

And with that, Natty was gone, leaving him alone on the upper platform, free to let his thoughts finally come together, finally letting his earlier thrill of realisation overwhelm him.

The mere possibility of getting to MC had been enough to demand the immediate attention of two of the region’s most dangerous dark wizards, to summon them to Hogsmeade and abandon whatever other terror had been occupying their time. Not even he had seen such a sense of desperation coming, and yet everything Natty just told him had  confirmed all of Sebastian’s earlier suspicions.

This went far beyond a simple alliance of convenience with Ranrok. Rookwood had his own plans where MC was concerned, and while the thought should terrify Sebastian, should fill him with the same torturous images as he suffered with the recollection of how Goblin Loyalists were targeting MC, it doesn’t .

Natty’s earlier words, whispered like some torturously painful secret, felt like guilty relief to his mind, ‘capture on sight’ .

Someone who wanted MC dead wouldn’t have their followers going to such great lengths to capture them- there would be blasts of the killing curse flying in MC’s direction every time they entered the battlefield, not convoluted plans to lure them into a trap.

No, Rookwood had plans for MC, and they depended on MC being alive. 

And it was no mystery why , even some moonmind hit by the confundus charm could figure that one out.

Rookwood knew about MC being able to use the Ancient Magic, he had to, and if that were true then there was no chance he would deliver MC to Ranrok if he got his hands on them first. There was no chance death would come for MC, if they were under the hold of Victor Rookwood.

In fact, Sebastian would bet Salazar’s relic that the moment Rookwood had secured MC, a way to access the Ancient Magic, his alliance with Ranrok would fall apart- hopefully, with the Goblin dead at Rookwood’s wand.

With a sudden lurch, Sebastian pushes himself away from the railing he’d been leaning against, acid burning in his throat as his train of thought caught up to him, what he’d actually been considering-

Victor Rookwood was a dark wizard, an evil, conniving bastard who led an underground crime ring built on corruption and extortion. Merlin, Sebstian lived in one of the Hamlets that fell under Ashwinder territory, his neighbours were victims of their rule of terror- he’s heard about the kind of things Rookwood’s people did to those who wronged them, the cruelty and depravity that none were above sinking to.

There was no corner of the Scottish Highlands that the Ashwinders had not conquered, no rival crime ring that hadn’t been either recruited or all-too-quickly eliminated. They answered to no one, their victims too terrified or too under their control to speak out.

And if Ashwinders were cruel, then Victor Rookwood was even worse. 

But he’s not afraid to backstab , a traitorous part of Sebastian’s mind whispered, He’s strategic, he has greater plans than this .

For all his cruelty and depravity, Victor Rookwood was smart. Smart enough to build a criminal empire from a measly local crime ring- the kind of ambition that spoke to greater plans, a hunger for power that extends beyond the simplicity of the Scottish Highlands. Cunning like that meant a want for a challenge , and Sebastian had heard whispers of Ashwinders spotted in other Wizarding towns- the beginnings of expansion.

Yes, Victor Rookwood was smart- smart enough to realise MC had more use to him alive rather than dead.

In spite of himself, Professor Howin’s earlier words resurfaced in his mind, louder than they had been all day.

“Even the most agile of creatures can be caught off-guard, especially if their predator is cunning enough- their natural self-defence tools won’t always be enough.”

Rookwood was smart in a way the goblins weren’t. Ranrok would kill MC the moment he realised they would refuse to tell him how to access the stores of Ancient Magic, blindsided by hate he’d slaughter them where they lay trapped.

“What is better, an upset Unicorn, or a dead one? What is a little bit of unhappiness in the short term, if it means they stay safe in the long term?”

But not Rookwood. No, Rookwood has lofty ambitions, a hunger for power- and he’d do anything to get there.

That much, Sebastian knew he could trust.

That much, he could work with.

------------------------

The ambient chatter of the Slytherin Common Room felt like a soothing blanket with the crackle of the fireplace, as he and Ominis sat in comfortable silence, lost in their respective textbooks.

Things between Sebastian and his best friend had been tense recently, they’d been bickering more than either of them were used to, terse words exchanged got increasingly heated in the days after Ominis had followed him to the Catacombs- but with MC’s intervention, it had been easy to move past. Ominis didn’t ask him about the relic, and Sebastian spared him the details, in moments like this it felt like everything would work out for the best. For now, this was enough.

Still, the familiar comfort of reading in the Common Room with Ominis wasn’t enough to settle his mind. With a frustrated huff, Sebastian slammed his textbook shut, resisting the urge to hurl the offending item to the floor, words a mess of squiggles behind his eyes.

To his side Ominis hadn’t so much as flinched, used to the petulance of his friend by now, and merely paused his wand from where he’d been scanning the Herbology textbook, raising one eyebrow.

“Honestly Sebastian, if you’re still so upset about your fight with MC perhaps you could try, oh I don’t know, talking to them? Merlin forbid, apologising ?” 

The scathing tone was nothing new, nor was Ominis’ preference to take MC’s side- he had a tendency of doing that, Sebastian hadn’t forgotten how quickly Ominis folded in the Catacombs with just a few words from MC- pathetic, they just had to bat their eyelashes and suddenly Ominis didn’t have a word to say against them. And now here he was, taking MC’s side over his best friend of five years.

Ridiculous. Ominis didn’t even know what happened, what gave him the right to comment? Even worse, to take their side?

“Drop it already Ominis, I have nothing to apologise for.”

“ That , I sincerely doubt.”

Sebastian grit his teeth as Ominis’ perfectly calm reply, forcing himself to settle his frustrations, “You wouldn’t be so quick to defend them if you knew what they-” He took a deep breath, “Can we not, talk about this again? Besides, that’s not even what’s bothering me-”

“Oh?” At this, Ominis seemed to perk up slightly, “Then what is it? It’s got to be important, to stop you moping about MC.”

He wanted to argue, he had not been moping, but the need to talk won out, needing to clear his head.

Going to speak, Sebastian hesitates, the words dying on his tongue. He can’t tell Ominis what’s really on his mind, knowing ‘furious’ wouldn’t even begin to describe whatever response he’d get in reward for his candor- Ominis’ unrealistic moral principles and bias for backing MC withstanding. 

“I just- I can’t stop thinking about something Hecat said in Beasts Class today.” Close enough to the truth, “Is it right to keep a magical creature in captivity, even if it’s for preservation?”.

Ominis frowned, “ That’s what has been bothering you? If it's keeping the beast safe, then what’s the problem?”

He tried not to scowl at the straightforwardness of Ominis’ answer, talking as if Sebastian were being an idiot, “Well, what if they’re unhappy?”

“I’m sure Professor Howin wouldn’t keep a beast in captivity if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, Sebastian,” That was a tone Sebastian was familiar with, and sure enough when he’d turned to look. Ominis was rolling his eyes, “At least this way it’s getting taken care of.”

“Oh yes , taken care of. What, for students to ogle at them, to be used for their magical features.”

“I don’t know much about Howin, but I doubt a Beasts Professor is motivated by greed, besides even if she was- would that be so bad? She wouldn’t be hurting the unicorn, and at least it will be safe here at Hogwarts.” Ominis paused, for a moment lost in thought, before he continued, a wrinkle of worry lining his forehead, “I hear Poachers have been getting increasingly troublesome recently.” 

The veiled implications are not missed on him, Sebastian has the feeling he isn’t the only one aware of MC’s recent exploits in the Highlands, the expansion of their enemy list they seem ever-ignorant to think about.

In the past, when Ominis mentioned MC’s exploits, it was always Sebastian’s job to defend them, insisting they were capable of handling themselves out there, that they’d ask for help if they needed it. Beliefs he was struggling with more and more with each adventure he joined them on.

“How can Howin know that what she’s doing is right?”

Ominis’ head tilted slightly at his words, momentarily struck by the sombre tone. Uncertainty was never a good look on his impulsive best friend,  “I suppose she can’t know- not for certain- but the Unicorn is safe now isn’t it? Nobody is going to harm it here, so she’s doing something right.”

He let the words wash over him for a moment, assured by the conviction in Ominis’ words- despite their recent disagreements, he could always trust Ominis to be honest with him. And if Ominis, one of the most virtuous people he knew, felt Howin’s actions were justified, then…

His thoughts are momentarily broken as Ominis speaks up again, voice notably quieter than before, “Are you sure that’s all, Sebastian? It’s not like you to get caught up on something so fickle.”

Fickle? Like any of what he was dealing with right now was even close to fickle .

Still, he was touched by Ominis’ obvious concern. They’d always been able to read each other so easily, something that had become more of a hindrance than help to Sebastian in the past year, with Ominis interfering with his every plan made towards a cure for Anne. No matter how deeply he wished he was able to talk to Ominis about this, he knew his best friend was beyond understanding.

“I’m fine, Ominis, it’s just been a long week.” A lot on his mind, ever more so now. 

“Well, if you insist.” The false lightness of his voice wasn’t lost on either of them, nor the slowness of Ominis to pick up his wand again and continue reading, as if hoping Sebastian might change his mind.

The silent gesture is lost on Sebastian as his mind finally catches up with him, flickering heat of the fireplace burning its image on the back of his retinas as conflict rages a war within him. The urge to pace is unbearable, but the last thing he has the energy for is more of Ominis’ suspicion.

MC is a free spirit, he knew that, just as he knew how much they hated Victor Rookwood, but what else could he do?

What could he do against their blind ignorance to the danger they’re in, carelessly throwing themselves in the path of goblin loyalists and countless other threats, depending on raw talent and reckless fervour to come out the victor. Someday, Sebastian knew raw power wouldn’t be enough.

They’re endangered, yet they keep insisting on fleeing the safety of the Castle walls to invite trouble, throwing themselves to the line of fire even as the threats against them become more incensed, ever more determined.

Ranrok Loyalists. Ashwinders. Between the two, Sebastian knows which side he’d prefer to see win. He also knows there’s only one side which MC is likely to stay alive with. Against such stakes, why should he worry about anything else?

Mind made up, he pushes himself to his feet with renewed vigour, book nestled under one arm, “Well, I’m turning in, you coming?”

“No, I’m going to finish this reading first on dittany. You know, for Garlick’s essay- the same one you have? ”

“I’ll do it later.”

“It’s twenty inches Sebastian, you need to pace these sorts of things out!”

“Yeah, well I’m tired tonight.”

“ Tired ?” Ominis paused, likely realising the same thing he had- that Sebastian hadn’t been eager to sleep for weeks now. For a moment, Sebastian worried he was about to get questioned further on why the sudden change in spirit, fortunately, Ominis dropped it just as quick, “Well, I suppose you do need the rest, don’t think I haven’t noticed you nodding off in class.” What a hypocrite , he bit down on a witty retort, not wanting to antagonise Ominis any tonight, “I’ll see you up there.”

“Night, Ominis.” 

Leaving the chatter of the Common Room behind for the silence of his dorm room had been a dreaded exchange for weeks, the quiet unable to defend Sebastian against his racing thoughts in the same way gossiping housemates and stray spells could- but tonight, he had no such wish to drown out his thoughts.

Lying in the plush four-poster bed, curtains drawn around him, Sebastian welcomes a new distraction, the familiar thrill of a plan unfolding before his eyes. It wouldn’t be without its challenges, he knew that, but if everything went to plan- if he was right about his, about Victor Rookwood- then the fears that had plagued him for weeks, the images that burned behind his eyes whenever they landed on MC- it would all be over, they would be safe .

He had to be right about this.

Lost in a whirlwind of careful schemes, moves and countermoves playing over and over in his mind, it’s hard to tell when the lul of sleep finally takes over- plans fading to black, fitful nightmares taking their place.

------------------

Taunting jeers sounded across the encampment, sounding over the blasts of magic and clanging of steel weapons, hurling down in flashes of obsidian red.

The target of their ire standing in the middle of it all, eyes gleaming in the heat of battle, was MC.

Hair whipping around them from the sheer might of their power, grin wide on their face as they effortlessly dodge another incoming blade, turning back just in time to pull from the might of the skies, another enemy fallen at their wand. 

They were a deity of battle, the picture of beauty even amongst the drudge and viciousness of the battlefield, bodies at their feet, twisted grimaces of their enemies in their face. They were untouched by it all, above them in both image and power.

Until suddenly, they weren’t.

Without warning, the sea of goblin loyalists became an overwhelming tidal wave, ethereal blue swallowed by tainted red, all that could be heard was a single piercing cry, tortured and desperate, as MC fell to their knees. A plea, and for a moment, just a moment, he hears his name -

“Sebastian!”

Silence rang across the encampment.

Impossible to tell if a minute had passed or hours when the red sea parts, the scene changes, or maybe it stays the same. What does it matter, whether goblins outline the perimeter, or aren’t there at all, it’s all a blur against the picture of a broken figure in the dirt, held down with chains of goblin silver.

All he can see is MC, lying in the ground, battle-worn and weary, bruised and beaten from hours of torment, blood dripping from a mark on their temple. The urge to wipe it away, to sweep them into a protective embrace is overwhelming-

Footsteps echo across the empty cavern mine? camp? and MC’s head raises- eyes wide and alarmed, snarl across their lips as their attacker approaches, instantly recognisable to them.

Even in memory, he recalls this face.

Ranrok stares down at MC where they are held at his feet, blood red eyes glinting with promised malice, loathing written plainly across the goblin’s features.

One clawed hand wraps around an axe, long and sharpened, Ranrok raises it above his head and prepares to swing down

MC doesn’t move, they watch the blade with wide eyes, tear tracks cut paths down their face that hadn’t been there moments before. In the next beat they should struggle, start fighting- but they don't. Silently, their head bows in acceptance.

What happens next is inevitable, has played before him a thousand times, but he’s too far away, he can’t reach them- why can’t he reach them ? Damned only to watch, helpless to do anything, powerless to save MC, and yet he can’t close his eyes, even as the axe falls, death cuts through the air and a broken cry waits to burst from his chest-

A streak of grey shoots across the scene, seconds later the axe embeds itself in the empty earth where its intended target had just been lying.

In its wake follows a rage of fire, swallowing the goblins whole.

Breath stolen, the new image burns itself into his memory, in an explosion of fire all other possibilities are reduced to ashes.

The snake binds around MC’s frame to keep them kneeling in the ground, slitted red eyes survey the desecrated area, poised to attack, ready for whatever enemy next crosses their path. Perceiving of threats in a way its prize was not.

MC’s eyes suddenly ablaze and the flush of life hot in their cheeks. Any sign of earlier torture gone from their skin, which almost shines with magical potential, their delicate blue brushing against deep grey scales.

The Ashwinder holds MC tight within its coils, now, finally , safe against any blow that may be raised against them, no matter how much they desperately fight in its hold.

[sebasluv]

sebastian sallow headcannons + reader (crush)

a/n: doing this for the community 🫡 jkjk | spoilers (ofc)

whether you met him first in the common room or the defense against the dark arts class, you are sure something more than a spell sparked that day; a friendship, perhaps

"not bad, not bad for a new student," he dusted himself off the floor. glancing at your stretched hand, he took it gladly; as you pulled him off the ground.

"thank you...i was nervous about what i did back there, hope you are alright"

"i've had it much worst, believe me," he smiled.

occasional meetings at dada (lol) became frequent meetings throughout multiple classes. whatever fate wanted, you were glad to be greeted with those eyes you know so well

"class, welcome the newest rose to our garden," professor garlick smiled warmly at you. being ever politely you are, you returned the gesture, only to be distracted with the burning hole in your head.

'shit, he is staring at me,' you thought. staring back, he doesn't seem fazed by your gaze, 'is he zoning out?'

of course, professor garlick had to put you next to him. *wink wink*

can't also help that professor weasley tends to call him to help you with everything.

"excuse me, mr. sallow, please come to my office after this class," she pierced through her eyeglasses, and sebastian can't help feeling a sweat drop off his face.

'shit, what did i do'

...

"please, accompany ms. l/n to hogsmeade for her to buy her supplies," she assigned him without even looking up from her parchment.

"professor, but, why me?"

"don't you worry, i saw you with her in the class, you don't have to hide your feel-"

"no!- erm- i mean- no, she was just- stuned me during our duel"

"then, good, she will need a lot more practice to get comfortable," she replied. "now, run along."

...

"thanks for getting me out of detention," he chuckled as he walked side-by-side with you to hogsmeade.

"you're welcome?" 'fuck, he is staring again'

he got those chocolate hair and eyes...which it seems that you can not get enough of them

loves accompanying you around the vast castle of hogwarts

walking together after class is one of your favorite activities to do together

picking and packing up your books after charms class, you’ve noticed a green robe coming up to you.

“forgot this?” he passed your notebook.

“thanks, seb”

“what about…if i say…would you fancy a butterbeer this evening?” he questioned while staring at your hurried gestures.

“i- erm…i don’t know, i got a potions essay to work on…you know…they are quite the pain in the arse”

“hey, c’mon, butterbeer’s on me? it’s friday night,” sallow chuckled. “please?”

“hm…fine, meet me up at 6, quidditch gate,” you hurled your book bag up your shoulder as you reach for your wand.

“alright…see ya”

of course, being the ever gentleman he is, he will walk you to your dormitory. from the very highest ravenclaw towers, to the lowest hufflepuff dungeon, or even the golden house of gryffindor. (ofc if you are in slytherin, he will not miss a chance to send you to your room)

“alright…thanks for tonight, it’s my cue here,” you halted before your destination.

“you’re welcome, butterbeers are still on me next time, good night,” he smiled.

“night, seb”

sebastian was not quiet, no, he wasn't very close to being the quietest in the class. you will always find yourself, or perhaps, your ears, catching a glimpse of his voice in the busying class.

he can be the biggest teaser and a sarcastic commentator, which you act like you hated it. (no, you love it)

"i hope you don't mind me tying your shoe laces for you, cause i don't want you falling for nobody else," he chuckled.

"oh, please"

but one thing you have noticed is that, he will always find a good use of his chocolate eyes; they always find themselves searching through the sea of people to catch you.

he can be quiet if he wants, zoning out isn't the furthest of his forte

throwing out a joke or a comment were not something you are not used to as well.

of course, he finds a good blush in your cheeks everytime.

as cheeky and cunning he is, you couldn't ignore the feeling in your gut every time sebastian mentions his sister.

his demeanor shrinks and all you can hope is to comfort him in your arms.

he is loyal as a hufflepuff, quite interesting to find a slytherin boy as well-mannered as him.

'please, no, please, no-'

"who did you brought here with tonight, mr. sallow?" the librarian questioned.

...

"no one, ma'am"

"such a shame, mr. sallow, i will call the headmaster on this. just imagine what your uncle would-"

with one last glance, you mouthed him a 'thank you' and a smile on your face. your heart was beating so fast that it might nearly jumps out and pump itself on the floor.

you can lie to me, but i will never believe that sebastian does not love hugs.

he loves a good ol' hug. side hug, back hug, front hug, bear hug, a soul crushing hug, anything hug. plus one if it is a surprise hug.

mans love to joke around sometimes but, in the end, he is super protective. just a glimpse of how he would protect his sister. a gentleman, yet a bold friend.

standing up for you and always believing in you. hell yeah, he can even take a punch in the face for you *wink wink* and he can definitely place a punch for you; perhaps, a curse

the great hall is such a buzzing place, filled with students and delicious food to the brim. but undeniably, one of the best places to throw glances across the room for sebastian and y/n.

whether you are sitting across the room or just across the table, his eyes will always search for yours.

"i got my eyes on you, remember that"

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Pool party

PAIRING | Chris Evans x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.8K

SUMMARY | Chris invites you along with his other Marvel co-stars for a pool party to celebrate the fact that you finished shooting your latest movie together. At this party, the sexual tension between you and Chris reaches an all time high, and you both can't take it anymore and you have to have each other right then and there.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Smut [ dirty talk, teasing, fingering, oral (m&f receiving), protected sex, nipple play, daddy kink, praise kink, squirting ], swearing.

A/N | Alright, I can't say anything other than the fact that this is an absolute fantasy of mine, and who else to fantasize about than Chris?! 🤤

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Chris Evans Masterlist

When you finished filming the latest Captain America movie, Chris decided to throw one of his famous pool parties for the Marvel cast, and you were no exception to this. During filming you and Chris were always flirting with each other, which started innocently but as time went on, it got more and more... sexual. The two of you had made it no secret to one another that you wanted to jump each others bones, but for some reason, it never happened. Until this pool party, where everything changed for the better.

As soon as you got the invite from Chris, you knew you had to go out and buy a new bikini to make him drool all over you, because you were planning to finally make a move this time. You absolutely loved the flirting and sexual tension, but there is only so much a person can take before they give into their deepest fantasies. When you found a coral blue bikini, you immediately knew it would be a winner, since it looked absolutely gorgeous on your skin. 'This is sure to make him go crazy!' you think to yourself as you enjoy looking at it in the mirror. You buy it and head home, because you still have some work to do.

About a week later it is finally time for Chris' pool party, and you bring a few bottles of wine, as per his request. Everyone brings a different kind of alcohol so you can all really enjoy the party and just let loose for a night, not caring about a thing in the world. The barbecue is going as well, and there is lots of music and laughter going. You put on your bikini, a pair of distressed black shorts, an oversized tank top and your favorite pair of black sandals. All you need now is your sunglasses and your keys and you will be ready to go. Since everyone plans on doing a lot of drinking, everyone decided to take cabs to his house, and you share on with Sebastian, who lives pretty close to you.

''Damn Y/N, you look absolutely HOT right now!'' Sebastian says when he arrives at your house. ''Thanks Seb, you don't look so bad yourself'' you said with a wink. Everyone knows you and Chris are flirting with each other, but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy the occasional compliment from other guys, it's always nice to have an ego boost after all. ''Ready to go?'' you ask, and you both go downstairs and get a cab. The ride there is a short 30 minute drive, and when you arrive Sebastian pays the cab driver whilst you walk into the house to greet Dodger first. ''Hi buddy, it's great to see you again!'' you say when he comes running to greet you, wanting all the back scratches he can get.

When you can finally go into the yard, you see most of your fellow cast mates have already arrived, only Chris Hemsworth and RDJ are still missing. Most of them are either laying in the pool, sitting on the edge or standing around the barbecue. Chris was standing on the edge and was about to do a flip into the water when he spotted you and his mission failed miserably, falling flat onto his stomach into the water. You can't help but laugh hard at this, and everyone immediately knows you have arrived. ''Hey Y/N, it's good to see you again!'' most of them say, as you give everyone a big hug. ''I missed you guys so much! And Chris, are you okay? We can't have that ripped body of yours hurting too much, now can we?'' you said with a wink and a smirk at him.

''It's your fault!'' he exclaimed and he climbed out of the pool and he runs to you, but you notice it soon enough so you get a little bit of a head start, running inside the house to seek shelter from him there. You run into the kitchen and hide behind the island there, waiting for Chris to come in as well. He took another way into the house and without making a sound he grabs you from behind, making you squeal in the process. ''Got you now!'' he said, and he placed a kiss right below your ear, on one of your most sensitive spots. You hate how he manages to do that every single time.

''Let's get you out of those clothes baby, I can't wait to see that gorgeous body of yours again.'' he whispers into your ear, and you get goosebumps all over your body when you feel his warm breath against your ear. He wraps his arms around your waist and lifts your shirt over your head, so you stand there in your bikini and your shorts still on, and you're glad no one can see what's going on right now. He throws your shirt somewhere and slowly reaches for the button of your shorts, stroking his way from your waist to your hips, and down to the front of your shorts. He opens it and pulls it down in one quick motion.

He kneels down behind you, to take off your shorts, and are well aware how close he is to your ass when you feel him breathing over the fabric of your swimsuit. He puts his hands up and cups both your cheeks with his hands, squeezing and kneading them both and you let out a soft moan at the feeling of his hands. ''Hmm, you sound so good when you moan, it makes me hard, baby...'' Chris says and he moves one of his hands to cup your clothed cunt. ''Fuck, you're so wet for me already, and I haven't even done anything to you yet.'' he says teasingly. Just when he's about to move your swimsuit to the side and run his fingers down your folds to gather some of the wetness, Sebastian walks in and is looking for Chris.

''Hey Y/N, have you seen Chris by any chance? There's something wrong with the barbecue and we can't seem to fix the problem.'' he says, looking around for him and coming dangerously close to where you're standing. If he takes a few more steps to you, he can see Chris sitting behind you, still with his hand on your cheeks and slowly rubbing his other hand over the fabric of your swimsuit, feeling how wet you're getting through the fabric. You try your hardest to not let a moan escape when you answer him ''I haven't seen him, but when I do I'll tell him!'' you say and Sebastian looks a little weird at you, but decides he'll ask you about it later.

''Fuck, that was hot, you're doing so good for me right now, baby,'' Chris says and it turns you on even more, he almost took you right then and there when he found out you have a praise kink, but he managed to keep himself in check. Now, however, he couldn't take it anymore and he had to feel you, taste you, be inside you, because you looked so amazing to him, he went absolutely feral for the bikini you had on. He quickly turns you around so your back is towards the island and puts his mouth on your still clothed cunt. ''I need you baby, I need to taste you so bad, I need to eat this soaking wet pussy of yours'' he says and you spread your legs a little wider to grant him more access.

''Put your leg over my shoulder, that way I can eat that dripping pussy so much better'' he says and you moan as soon as he puts his mouth on your cunt, sucking lightly over the fabric. ''Oh daddy...'' you moan and Chris can feel himself harden in his swim shorts, he didn't know he had a daddy kink until you just said that, but he goes absolutely wild for it. ''Want daddy to make you feel good? Want to be daddy's good girl?'' he says, and you nod. ''Words baby, I need words.'' ''Yes daddy, please make me feel good!'' and without a second thought he slips your swimsuit to the side and attaches his mouth to your clit. You let out a gasp and hope nobody outside hears you, although the fact that you can get caught at any moment does make both of you want it even more.

He sucks and licks all up and down your soaking wet cunt, and you can't help but moan his name. ''That's not what I want to hear baby, you know what to call me.'' he says as he stops his attack on your cunt. ''Daddy, please, make me cum...'' you say and he goes back to what he was doing before. ''Good girl'' he says and he sucks on your clit, and suddenly you feel two fingers enter you, making you moan, hard. You quickly put your hand over your mouth as Chris sets a fast and steady pace with both his fingers and tongue, licking and fingering you so good you cum within a few minutes, squirting all over his face and fingers. ''Oh daddy, you make me feel so good when I cum'' you say to him, and the fact that you came all over him, makes Chris incredibly hard.

As much as he would love to bend you over the kitchen island and fuck you senseless, he decides against it and wants to do it later, teasing you until you practically beg for his cock later. He puts your swimsuit back in place and stand back up, first readjusting his cock so it wouldn't be as obvious how hard he got from making you cum on his face and fingers, and after he leaned in for a slow, sensual kiss, showing you a little bit of what was coming later, when he would finally be able to make you scream his name when fucking the living daylight out of you. During this kiss Sebastian walks in again and says ''Oh there you are Chris!'' and the both of you immediately pull away.

Chris walks over to Sebastian with a smug look on his face, while you turn bright red at the fact that you were caught kissing Chris, but he didn't mention it so you wouldn't either. You walked outside but your knees were still a little wobbly, so you quickly decided to grab a drink and sit down by the edge of the pool and hang your legs into the water. Chris came swimming by a few times, touching your legs every time and it gave you goosebumps again thinking about the orgasm he just gave you. Other times he swam right in between your legs so he could push himself against the wall and back away from you.

After a while you decided to go in the water as well, and Chris took the opportunity to corner you in the pool and whisper dirty things in your ear where no one could hear you. ''How did daddy make you feel earlier baby? You felt so good when you came while fucking my fingers and my tongue, you were such a good girl for me...'' he said and you turned red again, but no one seemed to notice the two of you, they were all busy with their own conversations. ''You made me feel so good daddy, it felt amazing when I squirted all over you, I really want to do it again.'' you whisper in his ear, and suddenly you feel Chris' hand moving towards your breast. You are with your back to the corner and Chris is right in front of you, shielding you from what is happening.

When his hand finds your nipple, he squeezes it softly and tugs it a little, making your eyes go wide trying not to whine at the feeling. ''Hm, I love it when you have such hard nipples for me baby, they make me hard as well,'' he says and he moves your hand to his cock. You can feel how hard he is over his swim shorts and you start to palm him when he squeezes your nipple again. To everyone around you, it just looks like you and Chris are flirting again, just a little closer than usual, but everyone is having fun so they won't stop you, not that you'd want them to. ''Hm, your cock is so hard for me daddy, I want to feel it inside me...'' you say and you look at him with big, innocent eyes.

''Fuck, you can't just say things like that baby...'' he says and let's go of your nipple. He pushes away from you and goes to the edge, motioning for you to follow him, which you gladly do. He walks inside and you follow him, as soon as you're out of eyesight from everyone you put your hands around his neck and pull him in for another kiss, not wanting to be apart from him any longer. He gladly accepts and deepens the kiss right away, swiping his tongue down your bottom lip as you grant him the access you know he's asking for. His tongue slips into your mouth and passionately starts exploring every corner of your mouth in a clash of tongues. You let out a moan as Chris hooks his hands behind your thighs and lifts you up so you can hook your legs around his waist as he walks upstairs to his bedroom.

''Need you so bad daddy, need you to fill me up so good,'' you say when he kicks his bedroom door shut behind the both of you and he pushes you against it when meeting your lips again. You drop a little bit down and feel his how hard he is in his swim shorts, your hips involuntarily roll into the feeling desperate for every bit of friction they can get. ''Fuck baby, my cock is all hard because of you, been dreaming of this moment for months now'' he says and he unties the strings of your bikini top, throwing it to the side in order to get full access to your hard nipples. He attaches his mouth to one of them and starts sucking and lightly biting on it, making you moan his name hard - not realizing Chris' bedroom window is open and everyone can hear you and your escapade with Chris.

''Jesus Christ, it took them long enough!'' Anthony practically yelled outside, but neither of you heard him, too caught up in your own little bubble together. While Chris was sucking on your nipple, his hand slid over your waist and up to the other, so both could be pleasured at the same time, making your hips roll against him even more. ''So needy for me baby, can't wait to fill you up. Such a good fucking girl for me right now..'' Chris moans in your ear when he grabs both your thighs again and you feel your pussy clench around nothing with his praises in your ear. He lays you down on his bed and you scoot back to your head is on his pillows, lifting your hips when Chris hooks his fingers behind the band of your swimsuit pulling it down in one smooth motion.

He doesn't take long to attach his mouth to your soaking cunt again, saying how incredibly wet for him you are. ''Yes daddy, all for you,'' you barely get out between moans when he licks a stripe through your folds and starts sucking on your clit making you unable to breathe for a few seconds. ''D-daddy, I'm g-g-gonna-'' you say but before you finish Chris has shoved two fingers in your cunt, curling them upwards and speeding up both his tongue and fingers to make you cum all over again. ''Oh, D-DADDY!'' you whine out and just when you're about to cum, he pulls out his fingers making you squirt over his face again, just like when you were in the kitchen. ''Fucking hell, I fucking love it when you squirt over my face like a little slut. Makes daddy even harder for you baby,'' Chris says when he comes up for another kiss, you can taste his juices on his mouth and tongue, making you go crazy.

''Your turn now, daddy'' you say when you're still panting and trying to catch your breath, and Chris would be stupid to deny you sucking his hard dick. He spent so many nights thinking about this, and he can't wait to feel your wet, warm lips around him, pleasuring him in ways he didn't even think were possible. You let him lay on his back and quickly pull down his swim shorts, causing his 7 inch cock to spring free and fall against his abdomen and you audibly gasp at how thick it is, not sure how that's gonna fit. ''Fuck daddy, you're so big!'' you say trying not to drool at the sight of him. ''It's gonna fit baby, don't you worry about that. This cock is made just for you so be a good girl now and suck it real good..'' he growled, his voice going deeper towards the end of the sentence. You don't hesitate and wrap your lips around the tip of his big cock, earning you a deep growl from the back of his throat.

''Oh yeah baby, that mouth feels so good wrapped around my cock...'' he says and he grabs your hair in a ponytail so he can move you up and down, but also to ground himself a little. He thrusts his hips up into your face in a pretty fast pace and groans every time you gag around him, trying to breath through your nose but you absolutely didn't want him to slow down. You want to be his fuckdoll and let him take you whenever, wherever and however he wants, as long as he makes you cum so hard on his cock you forget your own name. ''Daddy, need you to f-fuck me, please.'' You say after you let him go with a wet pop, and immediately Chris pulls you up by your shoulders, planting a sloppy open mouth kiss on your lips which you happily give back to him.

''I love it when you beg for my cock baby, Daddy is gonna fill you up so good you will scream my name, and I don't fucking care that anyone can hear it.'' he whispered in your ear. He grabs a condom out of his nightstand and quickly rips the foil open so he can roll it on to his cock, after which he stuffs his cock deep inside you with one thrust. ''F-FUUUCK DADDY! So good...'' you say when he immediately hits your sweet spot on the first thrust, and he doesn't let you adjust as he grips your hips and bounces you up and down on his hard cock. ''Such a good girl for daddy, I'm gonna make you scream so loud when you cum for me'' he said and he picked up the pace thrusting quickly.

You moan and whine every time he thrusts into your g-spot, and when he lets one of your hips go to circle your clit, you completely lose it and have your most violent orgasm yet ripping through you, feeling all your juices flowing out of you when you squirt all over his cock and abdomen. ''D-Daddy, gonna- gonna cum'' you say before it happens but Chris already knew by the fact that you were practically milking his cock by clenching onto him and pulling him even deeper. He keeps riding you through your orgasm and finally cums when he's deep inside you whilst screaming your name, and you let yourself fall onto his shoulder in your completely fucked out state. The two of you stay like this for a little while, not wanting to let go of each other yet.

''Baby, I'm sorry but I have to pull out of you now. I'll just grab a warm washcloth to clean you up and then I'll be back for some cuddles, okay?'' he asks softly and he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. You softly nod and he pulls his now soft cock out of you with ease and takes off his condom, tying it off and throwing it into the trash in the bathroom. First he cleans himself off and he grabs a washcloth to run under warm water for you. ''I'm back baby, just lay back for me while I clean you up, I'll be careful.'' he said and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You are still very sensitive and flinch when he rubs it over your cunt, but it does feel good to be cleaned up. ''Cuddles please...'' you say barely audible, but Chris steps into the bed and slowly pulls you onto his lap and into his arms where you fall into a deep sleep, completely unaware of the party going on outside.

About 2,5 hours later you wake up and Chris was sitting with his eyes closed, mindlessly rubbing figures onto your back. You give a soft kiss on his jaw to let him know you're awake. ''Hey baby, it's good to have you back with me.'' he says, and he tells you about his plans to get you dressed in some comfortable clothing, and if you want you can stay in bed when he grabs you some snacks. You happily agree and Chris gets out one of his shirts and a pair of boxer briefs for you to put on. He puts on some underwear and sweats as well and walks downstairs, where he is greeted by Sebastian and Anthony in his kitchen. ''So, 'daddy', having fun up there?' Anthony said with a knowing smirk and Chris immediately turned bright red, but at the same time he was proud of the way he made you fall apart multiple times like that.

''I'm happy for you man, you deserve someone like her. Assuming this wasn't a one time thing ofcourse. Everyone can see how happy she makes you, and that's all we wish for you.'' Sebastian says. ''We haven't had a chance to talk about it yet, but I have a feeling it won't be the last time.'' Chris said with a grin on his face, and he grabbed two water bottles from the fridge as well as some snacks for the both of you. ''I'll be right back, just need to bring this to Y/N so she can recover a bit.'' he said and he made his way back upstairs, letting the butterflies in his stomach go wild from the thought of what the two of you just did.

[rae-and-mezo]

Could you write headcanon Seb and Omi being mean at reader so they cries and run away. The boys come to them to apologize.

Sebastian and Ominis say Awful Things During a Fight

A/N: This turned out a lot more like a blurb than headcanons, oops! I liked this one, angst is fun. I'm sorry it took me so long, finals are KILLING ME!

Seb:

You're sitting in the Undercroft with an ice pack to your head. Admittedly, you shouldn't have dove into the cave without a Wiggen weld potion. But you don't regret going in, how else would you save the Merlops from dark wizards.

Luckily you got out with just a concussion, Poppy dragged you away just in time.

But Sebastian heard the news in the form of a rumor, and he didn't hesitate to run out of charms class and towards where he hoped you were.

"Mc! Oh Merlin, what did you do?" He didn't even greet you as he stormed into the cold room.

You winced, half because of the pain and half because you had hoped Seb wouldn't find out.

"Hello, Sebastian." You greeted without turning around. After all, you weren't sure you could keep from crying. Sebastian grabbed your shoulders and turned you to face him gently.

He simply shook his head in wonder as he took the ice pack and examined your head. "It looks bad."

"It's really not." Sebastian frowns at your dismissal. "Okay, well, either way, it needs to be healed. The hospital wing isn't a good idea, they'll just ask questions. I'll run and grab a wiggenweld...no, I should stay with you. Anne taught me a healing charm a few years ago, I can attempt it if you would like."

"Sebastian."

"On second thought, I shouldn't try an unknown charm on you. Is it more of an aching pain or sharp pain? I have some herbs in my bag and-"

"Sebastian." He looks up at you fiercely. Around anyone else he hides his emotions, but around you it seems they flow right from his sleeve. Is he shaking? He is, you decide, but because it's cold. At least that's better than admitting he is shaking because of the fear you caused him.

"I'm alright."

"No, you're not. Look at this lump! How did you even get it?" the uncomfortable silence told both of you that he didn't really want to know.

"It will heal Sebastian."

"You didn't answer my question."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does!" Sebastian stands up with his hands in his hair. "Merlin, it does! You do this every bloody week, go off on some quest and come back beat up. Why don't you ever ask somebody to go with you? Is it your pride? I bet it is."

Taken aback by his outburst, your eyes widen. "I just ran into an unexpected group of poachers, Sebastian I promise."

"I don't doubt it. You...you probably scouted them out, right? You're always looking for more ways to get into danger anyways. You don't trust me. That's why you don't ask me to go with you. Either you don't trust me, or you're lying." He paces a small portion of the room.

"I do trust you, Seb. I just want to protect you."

"Is that what you call it? Lying to me about where you're going and then hurting yourself?" He turns to face you and steps closer. "Let me tell you something. You're going to die out there. A slow, painful death because you're too fucking stubborn too ask for help." When you don't budge, he narrows his eyes. "Will anyone grieve? We will miss you, but we all would know it was coming. Every one of us would know, I promise. And as much as we would miss you, we wouldn't have to worry about you anymore."

Silence.

"Fuck you."

And then, you're off. A blur of tears, are you shaking? You are. No sounds but the thumping of your feet on the corridors. Your head hurts.

You couldn't comprehend what Sebastian had said, it was too painful. A fog filtered through your mind and you didn't stop to think somebody might have seen you running. Everything inside hurt.

If you were gone, it would be a burden off of everyone's back. That's what he said. It hurt so bad you clutched at your chest.

In the dungeons, you couldn't run anymore. So you collapsed into the nearest wall in a mess of sobs. Of course, he was right. Of course he was. Had he ever been wrong?

And it's three days (or really, an hour) until Sebastian comes and finds you. He has tears running down his face too.

"Mc!"

"Fuck off."

You might agree with him, but you don't want to see him. He sits down opposite of you, and he's still shaking.

"I shouldn't have said that."

Silence.

"I didn't mean it."

Silence.

"I swear, MC, I was just worried and-"

He stops when you turn to face him. "Sebastian. Shut up." The harsh words shock him. "You were right."

"No!" Those eyes you love so much widen. "I wasn't, don't say that! Mc, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, let alone Hogwarts. I would- no, the world would be devastated to lose you. All you were trying to do was protect us and the innocent creatures. I was terrified something happened to you, and took it out in the worst way possible. I am beyond sorry, my love."

You frown as you took in his face. Wide brown eyes, messy hair from sprinting towards you, swollen eyebags and a red neck from the near hyperventilating breaths he had been taking.

"I'm sorry too." He smiles and holds a hand out halfway too you. An invitation, maybe. "You don't need to be. How about this? I'll work on taking my anger out, and we can come up with a way for you to tell me if you're about to, you know, jump into a poacher ring."

"Sounds like a plan." You shake his hand.

Ominis

Yet again, the two of you were arguing.

It all had started a few days earlier with a letter from Ominis's parents. They had found a wife for him, a distant cousin capable of legilimency. With her powers and his Parseltoungue, they could make the ultimate heirs of Slytherin.

You wished that Ominis was able to forget things. He never had been, and never would be, but it would make your life easier. Instead, he fixated on a story his older brother had told him of one of their second cousins. Albert was his name. And he had refused to marry the bride his parents picked out. He was forced to marry her with a blade to his sisters throat and a noose around his beloved's neck.

It was probably just a tale, you told him. Maybe it was, but Ominis could never take the risk. You had spent the last few days trying to get into his head, but he prevailed. The attempts had ended in pure passive agression.

All he wanted was too keep you safe from his family, but all you had waned was him.

Here you sat, on the quidditch pitch in the middle of the night. An odd place to be sure, but it was secluded. And you could put as much distance between the two of you as you wanted.

"Are you even going to try and fight for us, Ominis?"

"try? I've been trying! I've done everything but refuse, and if I do it will kill you."

"You don't know that!"

"MC, it's not that easy. I love you too much to-"

"Love me so much you're willing to marry someone else and write me off? How is this fair to me?"

"It's not, and it's not fair to me either. But I don't have a choice." You glared at him as he swept a hand through his hair.

"like hell you dont!" You snarl. "Run away with me."

"MC, you know we can't do that. They'll find us." His look of pure heartbreak would have hurt if you weren't pissed off. "MC..."

"I don't want to talk about this right now. I don't want to talk right now." He frowned at your words. "this isn't easy for me either, MC,"

"I didn't say it was."

"Are you even trying to listen to me? Do you EVER listen to me?" Ominis runs an angry hand through his hair. "Do you listen to me MC, or do you ever listen to anybody?"

"Oh really, Ominis?" you stand. "you want to go there?"

"I swear, MC, you only care about yourself." You raised an eyebrow. "And that's why I saved hogwarts, and your ass right?"

"Just leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you."

"You don't mean that."

"Oh, but I do. I never loved you."

Logically, you knew he was under a lot of stress and trying to protect his own feelings. But emotionally, it hit you like a bullet to the chest. You take a deep breath and turn to walk away.

"You're going to run away now?"

You started running. And didn't stop until you got to the Undercroft. Sure, he could find you there, but it was far, far away from the pitch and that's all you wanted in the moment. You crumbled against the wall and cried. How could he ever say that? It kept playing in your mind, over and over.

Tears kept coming, then they came some more, and eventually you fell asleep. It was exhausting to cry, after all. And when you woke up, there was something in your hair.

A hand.

Ominis was sitting next to you, running a hand through your hair, his face pale and blank. You had never seen his eyes so devoid of emotion. Instinctively, you curled up to him, but when you remembered what he said, you jumped away.

He looked down at you with sad, sad eyes. "I'm not even going to try to apologize. I don't deserve to be forgiven. Just, please don't make this more painful than it has to be. I know you never want to talk to me again. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Fuck off." You groaned, scotting away from him. "I don't want to speak to you."

"I know. I just wanted to apologize before leaving." He sighed, raking a hand through his unusually messy hair. "I didn't mean what I said. I love you more than I could ever put into words. I am nothing without you. I have only ever wanted to protect you, and if that means having to say goodbye, so be it."

You stared at him for a moment before shaking your head. "You, Ominis, are an Idiot. I want you. I don't want you to say goodbye to protect me. All I want is for you to fight for me. I'm not mad about you saying you didn't love me. I was, but I know you didn't mean it. I am, however, furious that you aren't giving me a chance to fight for you, and that you aren't fighting for me."

"I want too. I will send an Owl to my parents first thing in the morning to tell them I won't marry her. That they can either cast me from the family or accept it, but it's what's going to happen."

You look up at him, wide eyed at his willingness to fight for your love.

"Really?" You ask and hate that you sound rather like a small child.

"Really." He wiped your tears with his thumbs and smiled gently. "I know you aren't ready to forgive me yet, but I'm here and I'm not leaving."

[skitskatdacat63]

For @sansebastinae and @boisinnot, my fellow saint seb truthers :)

+ the usual

Yayyyy finished a drawing! Haha only took me...2 weeks. I kept going back and forth on whether I could finish it tonight, and I really wasn't going to. But then I looked at the unfinished version on a different screen and was like oh? Not too bad actually?? So I finished it :) First of all, ofc, here is the process. Kinda weird seeing it for smth like this, it makes me feel like I'm the painter in rennaisance au, not Mark dhjfkf

Ah I was gonna draw a silly renaissance au comic to accompany this(read: lighten the mood), but it's 5 am and I've still not really drafted it well, so! I'd like to finish it at some point bcs I wanna draw more chibi comics, but when I finish smth, I can't help but immediately want to post it, so part 2 will have to wait. I'll show you the outline though so you can at least imagine 😭

^ So many renaissance and beyond paintings of Saint Sebastian are always the most horny thing ever. Like pre/early rennaisance, yeah he was naked and all that, but they were pretty chaste, and uhhhhh suffering?? Well the newer paintings are suffering, but in a different way, if you know what I mean.

So I feel like Mark's the type to be overly pedantic about it, and refuses to make borderline porn of a saint, I mean, god forbid, Seb!!! But then he just. Does anyways. Because he can't control his lust for Seb even when drawing him half dead. I just imagine him holding the paintbrush in a death grip like "must not be horny. Must not draw him sexy. Must make him chaste." And then he ends up with the one seen above. Seb is all smug about it. "Wow you'd wanna fuck me even while I'm all bloody and dying? 🥺"

Mark: "oh I'll make you bloody, alright."

But god so funny to imagine Seb doing all these different slutty poses, like arching his back as much as possible, the cloth nearly falling off at all times, etc etc. And Mark finally lands on this pose bcs he hopes the suffering will outweigh the horny. It doesn't. Also Seb is genuinely serious once he actually gets into the pose, focus mode on. And honestly that's even worse for Mark, bcs it's so much more arousing to see Seb in his element, focused. Tbf I think Seb could be drinking water, and Mark would still find some way to sexualize it. Don't look at his sketches!! They're just filled with Seb doing all kinds of random activities.

Also! Here is the painting I referenced this off of, must give credit where credit is due ofc

The Dying St. Sebastian by François Fabre

Also this isn't really relevant in the context of this drawing specifically. But I looked thru a bunch of Saint Sebastian paintings while trying to find one I could reference, and I came across this middle ages one that actually looks so much like boy king seb 😭 I guess it really is meant to be!

St Sebastian between St Roch and St Peter by Pietro Perugino

Lmao but do you see the difference between early rennaisance and later work???

[deliciousangelfestival]

You said to send you prompts and ideas and well I’ve always wanted to write my own fic but i know i can’t write worth a damn lol I’m not good at describing shittt but what hears an idea I’ve thought about and so far I mean I haven’t come across any fics about it at least in my chosen fandoms lol so here it is.

Reader is you know just an average person in the world we live in and maybe is a huge fan of CE or Sebastian Stan and gets sucked into a portal and boom transported directly into the MCU meeting their favorite actor only it’s not Chris or seb it’s THE Steve rogers or Bucky Barnes, and maybe they just stare at them wide eyed all starstruck and shit. Maybe they wanna find a way home or not 🤷🏻‍♀️.

So again not the best at explaining lol but I’ve always thought that would make a pretty good interesting fic/series. It also doesn’t have to be Steve or Bucky it could be any other CE character ( as long as it ain’t Curtis Everett I wouldn’t wanna be teleported on that fucking cold ass tail end train lol)

Wow this is really challenging. It's like transmigrated story. But I'll try. The universe that I choose is Marvel, since it made more sense.

Here it goes. I hope you like it anon! 😘❤️

Other Universe

Character : Steve Rogers x platonic!reader , Bucky Barnes x platonic!reader, Dr. Strange x platonic!reader.

Once in your life, you probably knew someone that has crazy ideas.

Like Y/N. She has this one unique friend. Her special friend is obsessed with everything related to the transmigrated story.

And the universe she wants to enter is Marvel World.

It's impossible.

But the universe could be funny sometimes.

When Y/N visited her unique friend because she couldn’t contact her friend. Where is she?

Y/N entered the house, everything was a mess, and she saw a magic circle inside the room.

Suddenly, the magic circle glows and opens a portal. Every object got sucked into the portal, including Y/N.

Inside the portal, her body is floating. There's nothing she could hold on to. Did her friend also get sucked into the portal?

In a second the portal dropped Y/N. She didn't have a chance look around where she was. Because floating or flying inside the portal made Y/N dizzy and vomit.

"Are you alright? You suddenly fall from nowhere." Someone with a commanding voice asked her.

Y/N body shivered. This voice is familiar.

It can't be!!!

She slowly turned around and was shocked. Captain America and The Winter Soldier in their combat uniform is looking down at her. Their eyes also say they're shocked by what they're seeing now.

Y/N gasped "Oh my god. It worked!!!"

Steve raised his eyebrows; what does she mean? Did the land hit her head? She suddenly appeared. Did she have magic like Dr. Strange and Wanda?

He has so many questions.

Y/N was nervous, but then she remembered, "Do you see someone else that appeared out of nowhere just like me?"

Bucky tilts his head. "You know her?"

Y/N felt relieved; that meant her friend was also in this universe. That means she could go home. "Yes. Do you know where she is? I got transport here because of the magic circle my friend made."

She takes a breath before she explains, "I don't know how to explain from the start, but I'm not from here. I'm not crazy; please believe me!"

Steve and Bucky could tell she was afraid and didn't look dangerous. Steve leaned down and got closer to her. He talks with a low voice. "You should see it for yourself."

"Huh?"

Y/N doesn't understand, but she follows Bucky. This place seems like the Avengers Headquarters she has seen from the movies.

So she arrived at a safe place. That's relieved. She wondered if her friend had arrived safe, too. She must be excited since her dream to enter the Marvel Universe came true.

Bucky brings Y/N to a secluded room. Her body turned cold when she saw a big bag in the middle of the table.

'Please don't open the bag.'

Bucky couldn't read Y/N's mind. He opened the zipper line and revealed a pale body.

Y/N fell to the floor.

It's her friend.

Her friend is dead.

Her funny and silly friend.

"What happened?" Y/N asked with a crying voice.

Bucky sighed. "Your friend arrived at the wrong location. The moment she arrived, the security alarm activated, and the system saw her as a threat."

Scary. This is scary. Y/N felt afraid. She doesn't want to be in here anymore. She wants to go home.

Steve put his arm on his right shoulder. "We're really sorry."

Y/N looked up with tears running down her cheeks. "If she's gone, how can I go back?"

Both soldiers felt pity for her. Steve said, "We could try Dr. Strange to help you."

Y/N makes a slight nod. She hoped Strange could help her.

*****

But when Dr. Strange heard her story, he became quiet. So quiet that it made Y/N uncomfortable.

Strange sighed "If your friend is still alive, you could go back, but because she died, it's impossible."

"Huh?"

"This kind of magic only recognizes the creator and understands desire. Your friend created the magic circle, and you got transport here because she wants you to join her. That's why the portal opened again when you entered her house."

If the creator died, the magic wouldn't work, and the portal to return to the Y/N real world got disconnected.

"Does it mean I can't go back?"

Strange picked a book with his magic; he read it for a while and said, "It's not impossible. It will take time. Do you want to try?"

Y/N nodded her head multiple times. "Yes, yes."

Strange said to Steve and Bucky, "She will be my disciple. Both of you could leave now."

Steve and Bucky are relieved that Y/N has a chance to go home. They both knew how it felt like a person without a home and friends.

Steve gave her a phone number. "If you need someone to talk to, call us."

Y/N looked at the small paper on her phone, and her vision blurred again. If her friend is still here, she will be excited to get a phone number from her favorite characters.

But she's not here anymore, and Y/N has to survive.

"Thank you."

After that, Steve and Bucky returned, and Y/N followed Strange to study.

Her first day at Marvel Universe has started.

[sebstanaddict]

Love Song

Sebastian Stan x Female Reader Story

Chapter 12 - You Should Probably Leave

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

Meeting his troubled ex again in Cannes, Sebastian is forced to choose between following his heart or his desires. Will he or won't he? (IYKYK)

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 12/20 (might add more)

Chapter List >

Warning : suicidal thoughts, violence

Word count : 8k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it here.

-----

I know it ain't all that late But you should probably leave And I recognize that look in your eyes Yeah, you should probably leave

'Cause I know you and you know me And we both know where this is gonna lead You want me to say that I want you to stay So you should probably leave Yeah, you should probably leave

There's still time for you to finish your wine Then you should probably leave And it's hard to resist, alright, just one kiss Then you should probably leave

'Cause I know you and you know me And we both know where this is gonna lead You want me to say that I want you to stay So you should probably leave Yeah, you should probably leave

Like a devil on my shoulder you keep whisperin' in my ear And it's gettin' kinda hard for me to do the right thing here I wanna do the right thing, baby

You Should Probably Leave - Chris Stapleton

-----

LeBaoli Club, Cannes, France - May 16th - 11 pm

The thumping of music coming out of the speakers and flashes of red light from the walls finally snapped him awake from Stephanie's charm. He blinked several times and looked up to see Stephanie still smiling warmly down at him.

"Mind if I sit down?" She asked.

"Umm.. no, go ahead." He said even though his instinct told him that it was a bad idea.

"So, I saw your movie. It was amazing! And you were amazing!" She gushed as she sat across from him.

"Thank you, Stephanie. I appreciate it." He said, feeling butterflies in his stomach again. Stop it! You're a happily married man with a beautiful wife and child, you should not feel this way towards another woman! He scolded himself as he turned his gaze away from her and leaned back on his seat.

"So, I'm sure you're curious on why I'm here." She said with a twinkle in her eyes.

Sebastian took a sip of his beer and looked up at her. Trying hard not to feel anything for her again.

"Yeah actually. I am. So, are you going to tell me? If not, it's okay. It doesn't matter." He shrugged. It really didn't matter to him because she was nothing to him. He had Y/n and she was enough. She was more than enough. He thought, trying to convince himself.

"Well, I'm kind of embarrassed to say this, but.. I'm here to accompany a new and upcoming director, Luke Haas, you might have heard of him?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah. Isn't he nominated in the short film category?" Sebastian asked.

"Yes, he is." Stephanie nodded.

"Oh, so you're seeing him?" He asked, a slight relief filled his heart.

"Oh, no, not at all." She chuckled.

"If you're not seeing him, then.. you must be his assistant." He concluded and made Stephanie laughed even louder.

"I forgot how naive you could be, Seb." She said, giving him an adoring look, making his heart skipped a beat. This time he didn't scold himself and just let it go.

"Okay. So you're here as his what exactly?" He asked curiously.

"I'm his escort, Seb." She replied and Sebastian's heart dropped to his stomach.

"Stephanie, don't joke with me. I mean, you can't be an escort. That's just impossible!" He said. His mind couldn't comprehend on how she ended up in an even worse situation than the last time they met.

"I'm not joking, Seb. Luke hired me to accompany him throughout the festival. He wanted people to see him with a partner. So, here I am." She smiled and Sebastian couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He decided to help her. He couldn't live with himself knowing that someone was suffering and that he was able to help but didn't do anything.

"Stephanie, I'm sorry, but I think you need to rethink this. I mean, you're basically a prostitute but with probably better pay and a longer duration of working." He said, hoping not to hurt her too much.

"Seb, you don't have to state the obvious." She sighed. "I have no other choice. My freelance writing job isn't enough for me to put food in the table. I have to find a side hustle."

"Stephanie, there are better side hustles out there than this." He said, exasperated.

Stephanie didn't respond and just stared back at him in silence. Conflict filled her eyes.

"Look, I have some connections, I can help you find a job. Maybe even just as a personal assistant to one of my friends." He suggested.

"Seb, I'm in this too deep. My boss won't like it if I quit." She said, fear in her eyes.

"Stephanie, I'm sure your boss has plenty of other women that wants to do this. But I assure you, you're not one of them. You're an amazing woman and it's time for you to realize that and respect yourself. You're worth more than this." Sebastian said, looking at her with determination in his eyes.

Stephanie looked back at him softly. Her beautiful blue eyes stared at him full of love and admiration, making his heart skipped a beat. He ignored it and continued.

"I can help you find a job in the filming industry. I mean, I have several projects in the future and you could work with me if you want to." He suggested. The moment the words came out of his mouth he regretted it. He could be so stupid at times. There was no way she could work with him. It would cause more trouble in his life. However he felt the need to help her and he was sure he could find a better job for her, but maybe not something he was involved in.

"Thank you again, Seb. You really are the kindest man to ever exist." She smiled as she reached out and squeezed his hand. He jerked his hand back and leaned even further on his seat, trying to put some distance between him and her. He could see a little hurt in Stephanie's eyes but she quickly got over it.

For a moment they just stared at each other in silence. Flashes of memories with her appeared in his mind as he gazed into her beautiful blue eyes. Despite being much older, she was still as lovely as he remembered her. His heart beat faster in his chest as he studied her lovely features and his mind started to wander into prohibited territory. He blinked several times, trying to erase the forbidden thoughts in his mind.

"So, I think I saw you yesterday at the Hôtel Martinez." Stephanie said, finally breaking the silence.

"Oh, yeah. I think I saw you too several times yesterday. But I wasn't sure that it was you." He said, relieved that the forbidden thoughts were finally gone from his mind.

"Yeah, I knew it was you but I wasn't sure if I should come and say hello. But seeing you here tonight, I thought, why not. For old time's sake. You know." She winked and he could feel warmth crawling from his neck to his cheek. He was blushing it seemed and he really needed to get a grip on himself.

"Yeah. For old time's sake." He said as he averted his eyes from her and took another sip of his beer.

"So, how long are you going to stay here?" She asked, sipping on her cocktail.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. I have to get back to Y/n. She's in Amsterdam." He replied.

"Oh, I thought she's here with you." She said in surprise.

"No, my baby got sick when we arrived in Amsterdam. So she had to stay back and take care of her." He said.

"Oh, okay, I see." She nodded.

"Stephanie? I'm going to back to the hotel. Are you coming?" Suddenly a man appeared next to them.

Sebastian looked up and saw the man Stephanie had been with from earlier that day. He assumed the man was Luke Haas, her client.

"Oh, hey Luke. I don't know if you know each other, but umm.. Luke this is Sebastian, my old friend, and Sebastian this is Luke, my.. umm.." She trailed.

"I'm her boyfriend." Luke said and smiled at him as he shook Sebastian's hand.

"Oh yeah, hi. Nice to meet you." Sebastian said, shaking Luke's hand.

"I saw your movie earlier this evening. It was an amazing movie and you were excellent in it." Luke smiled.

"Oh, thank you. I appreciate it." Sebastian smiled.

"You know I have several projects coming up. Maybe we can work together in one of them if you're interested. Here's my card." Luke said as he produced a business card from his wallet.

Sebastian took the card and slipped it into his shirt's front pocket. "Thank you, Luke."

"Anyway, Stephanie, I'm going back to the hotel. Let's go." Luke said as he grabbed Stephanie's hand and pulled her up.

"Bye, Seb. I'll see you later." She said, smiling at him.

"Yeah, bye Stephanie. Take care." He said and she was finally gone, dragged by Luke across the dance floor and out of the club.

Sebastian sighed and relief filled his heart as he gazed at the empty chair in front of him.

His heart was conflicted. On the one hand he was glad that she was gone, he really didn't need her to show up in his life again, tempting him with her beauty. But on the other hand his heart broke for her and he wanted nothing more to be able to help her get a better life. Despite everything that had happened between them, he still cared about her and he hated to see her wasting her life away. He decided to try and help her but limit their interaction to just text and phone calls, no more meeting in person. He didn't want to take a chance.

He pulled out Luke's business card from out of his pocket and ripped it in half then ripped it again until it became shredded pieces of nothingness. There was no way he could work with someone like Luke. He thought in dislike.

He glanced at his watch and gasped in surprise as he saw that it was almost midnight. His mind went straight to Y/n who must be looking for him. He needed to get back to the hotel and contact her. He hoped she was okay. So he stood up to find his colleagues and tell them that he was leaving.

-----

Hôtel Martinez, Cannes, France - May 17th - 12.30 am

As soon as Sebastian arrived in his hotel room he immediately tried to find his cellphone. He hoped it was still there and not picked up by the hotel's cleaning staff. He scanned the room and spotted his cellphone on the night stand. He breathed a sigh of relief and immediately picked it up.

When he unlocked the phone's screen his heart dropped to his stomach as he saw that Y/n had tried to call him 10 times and left him numerous messages. He immediately called her back, hoping she was alright and not mad at him.

It took only two rings until she picked up the call.

"Hello.." Y/n croaked and sniffled. Oh no, she must have been crying. Sebastian thought with guilt in his heart.

"Sweetheart, I'm really really sorry that I haven't responded to your messages and calls." Sebastian said as he flopped on the sofa next to the window.

"What happened, Seb?" She asked, still sniffling a little.

"I stupidly left my phone in the hotel room right before I left for the festival." He replied.

"Oh, Seb." She sighed deeply and he felt truly embarrassed. He really could be so stupid at times.

"But it's midnight already. I didn't think the festival would be finished this late." She continued.

"No, you're right. It was finished around 8-9 this evening, but then I met Andrew Garfield and he invited me to come to this beautiful club and restaurant near here. I didn't feel right rejecting his invitation. I mean, I thought I should do some socializing with my peers, you know. I didn't plan on staying there long but I lost track of time. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I really am. I hope you're okay?" He asked.

"Well.. you have no idea what went on in my mind, Seb. You ignoring me reminded me of the last time you ignored me.. when Ana blackmailed you.." She said, her voice shook.

Sebastian felt a pang in his heart as he listened to her. He never meant to make her feel like that. It must have hurt her so much and he felt extremely guilty. Especially how he ended up meeting Stephanie again.

"Sweetheart, I.. I'm sorry." He said, not sure what else to say as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I saw Renate's story of you and her taking a selfie and then you and her dancing and my mind just went crazy with thoughts of you and her cheating and I just.." She trailed as she started to cry again.

"Honey, I would never cheat on you.. I swear! Nothing is going on between me and Renate. She actually kind of forced me to dance with her. But it was all friendly, nothing more. You have to believe me, sweetheart." He said. He felt his heart constricted as he explained himself. He really would never cheat on her. Or.. would he? He thought as Stephanie's face appeared in his mind. But he scolded himself and brushed the thought of Stephanie away from his mind.

"I know you would never do that to me, Seb. But just not knowing where you were and what was happening to you made me so anxious. And, what makes me so sad is that you missed an important milestone." She said with great disappointment in her voice.

"What do you mean? What milestone?" He asked curiously.

"You haven't seen the video I sent you?" She asked.

"No, I haven't. When I saw your missed calls and messages I called you right away. I haven't opened your messages yet." He said.

Y/n sighed deeply and finally said "Okay, you need to see the video, Seb. Then call me back afterwards."

"Okay. I'll do that." He said then she hung up.

He wondered what milestone she was talking about. He opened her messages one by one and finally reached the message where she told him that Starlene had said her first word. And her first word was 'Da-da'! He thought in disbelief. His daughter's first word was him!? His heart swelled in his chest as he watched the video of Starlene saying 'Da-da' while standing up in front of the TV and looking at his face on the TV. He felt tears prickled up in his eyes as Starlene turned to the camera and said 'Da-da' multiple times. Oh Starlene, how much Daddy misses you. He thought as a tear dropped from his eyes. He wiped the tear away and immediately called Y/n back.

"Sweetheart, I can't believe her first word is me!" He said excitedly.

"I know, Seb. She refused to say 'Mama'. I must say I'm jealous of you." She said, making him laugh.

"Oh, honey. I'm sure she'll be able to say 'Mama' soon enough. You're with her 24/7, she's bound to be able to say 'Mama' soon." He said, trying to cheer her up.

"I know." She said. He could still feel great disappointment in her voice and it broke his heart.

"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry again. I wish I was there to witness it directly. But I'm coming back to you and Starlene tomorrow, and I will be ready to witness more of Starlene's milestones. So please don't be sad." He said, wishing he was there with her to hug and comfort her and gave kisses to Starlene.

"I miss you, Seb. Starlene misses you too." She sniffled.

"I miss you and Starlene too, sweetheart, you have no idea how much I miss you both." He said, sighing.

"Yeah, anyway, how was the festival?" She asked.

"Oh it was amazing, sweetheart! Everyone seemed to like the movie and we even got a ten minute standing ovation!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"That's amazing, Iubirea mea! I'm so proud of you!" She said. He was thankful that she seemed to be happier listening about his achievement. She even started to call him 'Iubirea mea' again!

"I love you so much, sweetheart. And I'm really grateful that you allowed me to come here even though we're on our honeymoon. I can't thank you enough for being so understanding of me. You really are the kindest, most understanding and amazing woman in the world. I'm so lucky that you chose me. I don't deserve you." He said.

Y/n didn't respond right away. Slowly he could hear sniffles coming from her end.

"Sweetheart, are you crying?" He asked in concern.

"I am.. I'm sorry. I just miss you so much, Iubirea mea." She said in between her sobs.

"Oh, honey. What can I do to make you feel better?" He asked, feeling all the guilt in his heart.

"Just.. come back to me as soon as you can." She said as her cry finally subsided.

"I will. I promise you. I already booked the first flight out of Nice to Amsterdam tomorrow.. well.. today, technically. I booked a 10 am flight, so I'll be there by 1 pm today, honey. I promise." He said.

"Okay. I'm holding you to that promise, Iubirea mea." She said.

"Of course, honey. I won't disappoint you again. I promise. I love you so much." He said.

"I love you so much too, Iubirea mea." She said and he smiled as he listened to her calling him that endearing name again.

"Well, I think we better hang up. It's almost 1 am. We both need to go to sleep." He said after glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah. Good night, Iubirea mea." She said.

"Good night, sweetheart. Please give Starlene kisses from me and tell her how proud I am of her." He said.

"You can tell her and kiss her yourself in twelve hours, Iubirea mea." She teased.

He chuckled. "Okay then. Well, I'll see you in twelve hours, sweetheart."

"I'll see you in twelve hours, Iubirea mea." She said and they finally hung up.

He sighed as he put his cellphone on the night stand. He was kind of concerned that Y/n would think that he would cheat on her and he was also kind of worried that her instinct about it was almost spot on. Somehow he was reminded of Stephanie again.

Maybe it was a bad idea to offer her his help. Maybe it was better that he left her alone to deal with her own life. She was an adult anyway that can make her own decisions. He was nothing to her and she was nothing to him too. He didn't have any obligation to help her. It was better that he focused himself on his own family. His honeymoon wasn't even over yet. They still have Paris and Rome to go to. And he had promised Y/n to be there for her and make her happy. Adding Stephanie into the equation even if he just contacted her through text or call would just distract him even more from Y/n and Starlene.

Alright, he finally made the decision. If he didn't hear back from Stephanie then he would just forget her. She could take care of herself. He thought, trying to convince himself. But if she contacted him, he could just ask one of his assistants to help her out. He didn't need to be involved at all. He nodded in satisfaction.

Having made the decision, he stood up and changed into his sleeping attire. He finally felt the aches and tiredness in his body. He needed to sleep.

He was just about to get into bed when he heard a knock on the door. He stopped in his tracks and raised his eyebrows. It was 1.15 am, who the h**l would bother him at this hour? He wondered.

"Seb? I'm sorry to bother you. It's me. Are you in there?" A female voice called out from behind the door.

Oh no! It was Stephanie! He could recognize her voice. How did she find out which room he was in? For a moment he contemplated on just ignoring her and pretended to already be asleep, but he could hear her voice speaking again from behind the door.

"Seb? I'm really sorry to bother you. But I have no choice. I.. I need your help." She said, her voice shook.

He sighed as his kind heart finally took over. He walked slowly towards the door and opened it. Stephanie looked up at him sheepishly. His eyes widened as he saw her. Her left eye was bruised, her right cheek was red, and her bottom lip was split, dried blood on it. She also looked like she just cried.

"Stephanie?! Are you okay?" He asked in surprise.

"No, I'm not. I'm.. I'm sorry, I don't know where else to go." She said as tears started to fall from her eyes.

Sebastian sighed and looked to the left and the right. After making sure no one was around he guided Stephanie by the shoulder to come into his room. "Come on in."

Stephanie took a seat on the sofa by the window while he sat on the bed across from her.

"Do you want some water maybe?" He asked as he stared at her. His heart dropped to his stomach as he saw her face. He had an inkling of what happened and he felt really sorry for her.

"No, it's okay." She shook her head and looked down to her lap, her fingers fiddling with each other.

"So, do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked gently. "And, I'm sorry but, how did you know which one is my room?"

"I asked the receptionist. She saw my face and didn't have the heart not to tell me your room number. She wasn't allowed to tell me, but she felt really sorry for me. I hope she won't get fired." She replied.

"Oh, okay. So, what happened to you?" He asked.

"Luke hit me." She said as her eyes started to water.

"That son of a b***h! I knew he isn't a good man." He said, anger started to boil in him.

"Seb, he had a reason to. I.. we went back to his hotel room and as usual he asked to be serviced but.. after meeting you I started to have second thoughts about being an escort. I thought maybe you really can help me to get a better job, a better life. So, I made the decision to stop being his escort and told him I didn't want to do it again. He got all angry and called me many nasty things, and he hit me multiple times.. and.. and.. he tried to rape me but I hit him back and ran out of the room. He was still unconscious when I left him. I went to the reception and asked if there was an empty room I can check-in into but the receptionist said all the rooms are occupied. She nicely offered to call other hotels but all of them are fully booked because of the film festival. I.. I didn't know where else to go, so I thought of you. I'm.. I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have come here but.. I.. I have no one.." She said and she started to cry.

Sebastian's heart broke as he listened to her story. He stared at her as her body shook and she sobbed. He couldn't help it. He knelt down in front of her and embraced her. He held her tight in his arms as she continued to cry on his shoulder. He rubbed her back trying to soothe her. Deep down he knew this was wrong. But he was just being helpful. He was sure Y/n would understand.

After a while Stephanie stopped crying.

"I'm sorry." She sniffled as she released herself from his embrace.

"I.. I shouldn't be here." She said as she wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked up at him with sorrow in her eyes.

His heart ached looking at her bloody lip and her bruised left eye. He could never understand men like Luke. Hitting and abusing a woman were things extremely forbidden to him no matter how angry he was at a woman. So he didn't understand why men like Luke needed to do it. In his mind those types of men are cowards and assh***s. There was no excuse for them.

"Stephanie, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Do you want me to help you report this to the police?" He asked.

"Oh no.. no.. it would just cause more trouble and would be a big scandal seeing how he's a famous person. Besides, my boss would kill me if I report his client." She laughed bitterly.

"Okay then. Well, you can stay here if you want. You can take the bed and I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't worry about it, okay?" He said as he put his hand on her cheek and stroked it gently. He immediately retracted his hand back and dropped his hand to his side when he realized he wasn't supposed to behave like that towards her. His mind went to Y/n and he sighed. He really needed to better control himself.

"Thank you so much, Seb. I don't know what I would do without you." She said slowly as she gazed at him with love and longing in her eyes.

Sebastian's heart galloped fast in his chest as she leaned close to him. He knew where this was going and he couldn't let it happen. So he immediately stood up, leaving Stephanie hanging. He turned around and went to the mini fridge and picked up a bottle of water.

"Here, have some water." He said and gave her the bottle of water.

"Thank you, Seb." She smiled as she accepted the bottle.

"You're welcome. Now, I'm leaving to Amsterdam tomorrow. What are your plans?" He asked.

"Well.. I was supposed to stay here with Luke until the end of the festival. But of course that's not an option anymore. I was thinking of going back to New York tomorrow. But I don't have the plane ticket yet. I'm hoping I can secure one tomorrow." She said.

"Okay. Do you need any money to buy the ticket?" He asked.

"No, it's okay. I still have some money. Luke paid me in half before we came here. It's enough to buy me a plane ticket home." She replied.

"Okay, good. Now I think it's best we both try to sleep. I have a morning flight to catch. You can come with me to the airport tomorrow." He offered.

"Thank you, Seb. It means a lot." She smiled.

"On second thought, maybe it's best that we leave separately. I don't want people to start gossiping about us even though there's nothing going on between us." He said, thinking of the bad publicity he could get if he showed up at the airport with her.

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Don't worry, I'll leave as soon as the sun comes up. I just need a place to sleep for tonight." She said, understanding dawned in her.

"Okay, good." He smiled.

"Can I use the restroom?" She asked.

"Sure, go on ahead." He said and she stood up. Her hand brushed his as she went past him to the restroom, making him shiver a little. He shook his head. Get yourself together! He scolded himself.

As soon as Stephanie went inside the restroom he immediately went to the room's phone. He dialled the reception, hoping he could book another room for Stephanie. For all he knew she could be lying. Unfortunately she wasn't lying. The hotel really was fully booked that night. So he tried to call other hotels in the area but unfortunately all of them were fully booked as well. He sighed as it seemed he had no choice but to share a room with her. Well, he already could control himself earlier. He thought proudly. In the event that she tried to seduce him again, he would just get out of the room and sleep on one of the sofas in the lobby or something. He finally decided.

He went to the wardrobe and picked up an extra blanket and a pillow then went to the sofa. He put the pillow on the sofa then laid himself down. Then he spread the blanket and covered himself with it. His eyes looked up to the ceiling as he tried to distract himself from the fact that Stephanie was in the room with him.

"Seb, sorry but I took the liberty to take the bathrobe that was hanging in the bathroom. I can't sleep wearing my dress. It has blood stains on it." She said as she appeared out of the restroom and walked closer to him.

"Oh yeah, it's okay. It's not mine anyway, it's what the hotel provided." He said, glancing at her.

"Thanks, Seb." She said, smiling at him and making his heart skipped a beat. He sighed as he looked up at the ceiling again. This is going to be a long night. He thought.

"Good night, Seb." She said.

"Good night, Stephanie." He said.

The silence between them was deafening. He could hear the tick tick sound of the clock on the wall and the sound of the waves crashing down to the shore outside. His heart beat fast in his chest as his mind went to Stephanie, who was lying down on the bed, so close to him yet so far. Testing him in his loyalty to Y/n.

His mind then went to Y/n and Starlene and how much he missed them. He wondered how things could have gotten so complicated. He contemplated whether or not to tell Y/n about Stephanie. Well, if he really was going to help Stephanie find a job, maybe it was better that he told Y/n about it. She deserved to know. So, he decided to tell her once he gets to Amsterdam. But of course he would still keep the event during his Bachelor's party a secret from her. It would just hurt her and he didn't want to hurt her anymore. He had hurt her and disappointed her too much throughout this honeymoon. He promised to himself he wouldn't do it anymore. She deserves the world and that was what he was going to give her.

In the silence he suddenly heard the sound of muffled sobs. Stephanie seemed to be crying. He turned towards her and saw that indeed she was crying. Her back was facing him but he could see her shoulder shook as she cried.

"Stephanie, are you okay?" He asked gently.

Stephanie stopped crying and sniffled. She then turned towards him and wiped the tears falling from her eyes. "I'm.. I'm sorry, Seb. I.. I'm just crying over my stupidity and the s**t that I've been going through. You know. I.. I feel like I can't take it anymore. It's probably better if I die. If I die then all these suffering will stop. I will meet my family again. I don't have to deal with earning money for a living. I don't have to deal with men like Luke. I will be.. free.."

Sebastian sat up and turned towards her. It scared him that she was contemplating suicide.

"Oh Stephanie, don't say that. Everything is going to be okay. You already took the right step towards a better life. You just have to be patient and be strong. You'll get through this. I'm sure you will. I will help you. Don't worry, okay?" He said, staring at her with his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

She stared at him in admiration and adoration, making butterflies flew in his stomach. He kicked himself internally and wished he could capture those d**n butterflies and put them in a cage and let them loose only when he was with Y/n. But of course he couldn't.

"Thank you, Seb. After all that I've done to you, I don't deserve your kindness." She said. Her eyes looked a little happier and he was glad that he could help.

"Don't say that. What you did to me was wrong. I was hurt.. a lot. But everyone makes mistakes, and I've forgiven you. I don't want to hold any grudges. I see that you need help. So, I'll help you as best as I can." He said.

"I know you've heard this before. But.. thank you again, Seb." She said and she smiled, making his heart skipped a beat. He sighed and decided to ignore it.

"No problem, Stephanie. I'm glad if I could help." He smiled back.

"Do you think you can help me with one more thing?" She asked slowly, her cheeks blushed a little.

"Oh, sure. How else can I help you?" He asked slowly. He had an inkling it was something he wasn't going to like.

"Could you.. could you hold me? I know that you probably will say no. But I.. I need it. I.. I just need to be held." She said, her voice shook and her bottom lip trembled as she tried not to cry again.

Sebastian's eyes widened as he listened to her request. Hold her? That would definitely test his resolve. Of course he couldn't do it. But seeing her broken and fragile like this broke his heart. Moreover, she was somewhat suicidal and it scared him. If he could help make her feel better and forget her suicidal thoughts by holding her in his arms, then maybe it was okay. Just a hug and nothing more. An innocent hug. He thought as he tried to convince himself.

"Okay." He finally said and Stephanie's face brightened immediately.

He stood up and slipped onto the bed next to her. He put his arms around her and she put her head on his shoulder. She then put her hand around him and he couldn't help but feel how comfortable it was. But he shook his head and tried to guard his feelings. He thought of Y/n and how they held each other every night when they go to sleep. I'm sorry, Y/n. He thought. I hope you'll forgive me. He involuntarily hugged Stephanie tighter and rubbed her arms, thinking that he was hugging Y/n.

"Thank you, Seb." Stephanie whispered and looked up at him. Love and longing clear in her eyes, turning the alarm again in his mind, but he mentally turned it off.

"No problem, Stephanie." He looked down at her and smiled, feeling his heart beat faster as he looked at her. He quickly turned away, not wanting to look at her too long, afraid of the consequences.

"Do you remember our first night together, Seb?" She asked, laughing a little.

"Hmm? Yeah, a little bit." He lied. He remembered every single detail of that night but he didn't want to admit it of course.

"I still can't believe you bought me McDonald's afterwards." She laughed and he laughed as well.

"Well.. I was hungry. It was a lot of work." He chuckled and she laughed even louder.

"I'm sure it was just like a warm up to you now." She teased. He didn't like where this was going so he stayed silent.

"And I can't believe we lied to our parents to get some money for the hotels." She chuckled again, referring to the time when they used to check-in into hotels around NYC to have some 'good time' because they didn't have anywhere private to do it.

"I know. Those were some crazy times." He laughed.

"It felt just like yesterday." She said as she looked up at him and stroked his cheek gently with her fingers. He froze as he felt her touch on his cheek. The alarm sounded loudly in his mind.

"You know, I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn't lost you. If I had.. if I had not been so stupid and stayed loyal to you." She sighed as she continued to stroke his cheek.

His heart ached as he listened to her. The pain of her betrayal came back and plagued his heart as the vision of a man opening her apartment door flashed by in his mind.

"You turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me, Seb. No other men I dated were ever like you. I.. I regret so much what I did. There's not a day goes by that I wish I could turn back time and didn't betray you. I'm.. I'm sorry." She said as she turned his face down towards hers with her fingers.

His mind went blank as she leaned closer to him. Her lips went inch by inch closer to his. He wanted to move, he needed to move away from her, but the feeling of her breath on his lips and the warmth of her body so close to his - which he realized was naked underneath the bathrobe - hypnotized him.

For a split second his mind suddenly went to Y/n and Starlene. He saw in his mind's eye Starlene calling him 'Da-da'. He saw Y/n looking like the most beautiful princess out of a fairy tale, smiling at him as she walked down the aisle at their wedding. They don't deserve this. No one deserves this. He thought. So with all the willpower that he had he let go of Stephanie and pushed her away and immediately stood up.

"I'm sorry, Stephanie. This is a bad idea." He said, looking down at her with a slight coldness in his eyes.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, Seb." She said as she looked up at him in shame.

"I have to go." He said as he went to the wardrobe, pulled out a trouser and a jacket then put them on.

"Seb.. no, stay. I'll go." She said as she sat up.

"No, you can stay. I just want to go down to the bar and get something to drink. You should go to sleep." He said.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to come with you? I could use a drink." She laughed a little.

"No, that's a bad idea Stephanie. Just stay here and get some rest. Okay? I'll be right back." He said and Stephanie finally nodded.

He picked up his wallet and cellphone and soon went out the room, leaving Stephanie alone in the comfort of his room.

Sebastian went down to the lobby and headed to the hotel's bar not far from it. Unfortunately the bar was already closed. So he walked out of the hotel lobby and looked around. Thankfully it didn't take him long to find an open bar. There was a bar on the corner of the street, right next to the hotel. It's red neon light nameplate glowed bright against the dark sky.

He walked towards it and felt a little chill. The night air on the coast was quite cold, so he wrapped his arms around himself and quickly went into the bar.

-----

72 Croisette (The Gutter Bar), Cannes, France - May 17th - 2 am

The bar was not crowded. There were only four patrons sitting on tables inside. He went to the counter and ordered a martini then went to sit at a table near the window.

He took a sip of the martini and immediately felt more relaxed. He shook his head as his mind went through the events that just happened. Of all the crazy things that had happened during his honeymoon, meeting his ex was definitely not something he thought he would experience, and a troublesome ex too. He felt sorry for Stephanie but he couldn't keep doing this with her. She was clearly still infatuated by him and it was really dangerous for him to be around her again. He needed to keep his distance with her. So he decided that he would help her but just ask one of his assistants to help her find a job. He would block her phone number if needed. He thought.

"Salut, beau gosse." Suddenly he could hear a female voice greeting him in French.

He looked up and saw a beautiful long haired brunette woman, with big wide eyes and lips painted red. She was wearing skin tight red dress, accentuating her curves in all the right places. She smiled seductively at him, making him feel immediately uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I don't speak French." He said.

"Oh. Sorry. I said, hey there, handsome." She said in a thick French accent.

"Hi. Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Mind if I sit with you?" She asked.

His mind screamed no but he didn't want to seem rude, so he nodded. "No, go ahead."

"Thank you." She smiled and sat next to him.

"So, what brings you to Cannes?" She asked.

"The film festival." He said as he stared at her. She looked a little like young Catherine Zeta-Jones. He thought in amusement.

"Ah, of course. Everyone is here for the festival." She smiled.

"What about you?" He asked as he took another sip of his martini.

"The film festival too. I'm a journalist." She said.

"Oh okay. From what publication?" He asked.

"Penthouse." She smiled with a little glint in her eyes.

"Interesting." He stated as the woman continued to give him a smile, making him feel uneasy. She seemed like she was trouble.

"What about you?" She asked, leaning closer to him as she put her right elbow on the table and her right hand under her jaw.

"Oh.. I'm just here to watch good movies." He lied.

"A film enthusiast huh?" She said.

"Something like that." He smiled as he took another sip of his martini.

"Well, what's your name Mr.Film Enthusiast?" She asked.

"James." He said, deciding that it was best not to give out his real name.

"Nice to meet you, James. I'm Camille." She said, extending her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Camille." He said as he shook her hand and immediately retracted it back.

"So, what is a handsome man like you doing out here alone at this hour?" She asked.

"I just need a drink." He shrugged.

"Stressed about something?" She teased.

"Yeah. Something like that." He chuckled.

"Well.. if you need something more than just a drink to help relax." She said slowly as she leaned even closer to him and put her hand on his thigh, startling him. "I can help." She winked.

He shook his head in disbelief. He had an escort in his hotel room and now he was being hit on by a f*****g hooker! The universe really liked to play jokes on him.

"No, thank you. I can deal with it myself." He said as he picked her hand up from his thigh and let it go.

"I won't charge you much. I can see whether someone has money or not." She said, making him laugh out loud.

"Okay. That's enough." He said as he finished his martini in one gulp and immediately stood up.

"James, was it something I said?!" Camille called out to him as he quickly went out of the bar.

He chuckled as he put his hands in his jacket's pockets and walked back towards the hotel. He wondered how things seemed to get crazier for him by the minute.

He glanced at his watch and saw it was only 2.30 am. He was scheduled to check-out from the hotel at 7 am so he still had 4 and a half hours to kill. With Stephanie in his room he couldn't go back there, at least until around 6. By then he could ask her to leave. So he decided to take a walk to kill some time.

He walked past the hotel and headed east. He remembered passing a public park by the beach on the way back from Le Baoli. He could probably sit there and enjoy the view of the park and the sea until the sun comes up.

The park was about half a mile from the hotel. The street was almost empty and the pedestarian road as well. He thought the night life in Cannes would last until morning, seeing how there was the film festival, but apparently not.

After about ten minutes he finally arrived at the park. The park was dark with only some lamps lighting it here and there. He passed a children's carousel as he headed towards a row of benches in the distance. The carousel reminded him of Starlene. If she was here with him he would have played with her, have her take a ride on the carousel. Oh Starlene, daddy misses you so much. He thought wistfully.

As he walked closer towards the benches he saw a silhouette of a man walking towards him quickly. He then heard footsteps walking quickly behind him. He glanced back and saw another man walking towards him quickly. He had a really bad feeling about this and decided to turn to the left and exit the park, but before he could walk very far both men arrived near him. One stopped in front of him and the other stopped behind him. Trapping him.

"Arrêtez-vous là ! Donnez-moi votre portefeuille !" ("Stop right there! Give me your wallet!") The man in front of him suddenly shouted at him in French and pointed a gun at his face.

His heart beat so fast in his chest as he raised his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry.. I.. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't speak French." He stammered.

"Wallet! Give us your wallet!" The other man who was standing behind him said in English as he walked to his front and pointed another gun at him.

"Ooh.. okay okay. Hold on." He said as he slowly pulled out his wallet and gave it to the man.

"Il n'a que cent euros ici. Pathétique." ("He only has a hundred euro in here. Pathetic.") The man said after opening his wallet.

"Give us your cellphone!" The man barked after giving his wallet to the other man.

"Oh, please, no. Not my cellphone." He pleaded, remembering all the contact numbers, data, pictures and videos on it.

"Give us your cellphone or we'll blow your brain out!" The man shouted, pointing the gun near his face until it touched his forehead, scaring him.

"Alright, okay. Calm down. Could I make a backup of it first? All my data, pictures and videos are there and.." suddenly the man hit his head with the gun. His eyes saw stars as he reeled back from the pain on his head.

"Give it to us now!" The man shouted.

For a split second he contemplated on what to do. He could tell the gun was fake by the sound of it when it hit his head. And he really hated to lose his cellphone. It had precious pictures and videos of Y/n and Starlene and his other loved ones. Not to mention all the contact numbers he had. He thought of fighting them. His skills from training for Bucky could be really helpful. But he also promised Y/n that he wouldn't get into a fight anymore.

Seeing how he was frozen in place, the man lifted his hand to give another hit on his head. But this time he was ready. He caught the man's hand before he could hit him and twisted his wrist. The man yelped in pain as the gun fell down clattering to the floor. The light sound of it falling to the floor confirmed his suspicion that it was a fake gun. The other man was about to shoot him with presumably another fake gun, but he didn't want to take a chance. He kicked the man's hand and the gun fell down clattering to the ground. Soon they ended up fighting with their bare hands. He threw punches and kicks at them and managed to kick one of them on the crotch and the other one on the stomach. As they doubled over in pain he immediately ran away from them, but they caught up to him quite fast.

He just reached the row of benches when one of them jumped at him from behind and they fell toppling down to the ground. He ended up lying down on the ground with the man kneeling on top of him. The man punched his face multiple times, and he thought he felt the wound on his eyebrow split open again. With all the power that he still had he kicked the man on his crotch and pushed him away. By then the other man had caught up to them and started fighting him too. The man punched his stomach and kicked his crotch, making him doubled over in pain. The man then gave a hard blow on his head making him fall down to the ground with his face down and everything around him went black.

Chapter 13 >

Taglist

@sebsgirl71479

[timespaceandfilm]

Reinventing the Wheel - Ch 15: Metamagic

Author: timespaceandfilm

Fic Rating: E - this fic gets NSFW in later chapters, 18+ only

Chapter Rating: E

Pairings: Sebastian x Female Farmer

Chapter Word Count: 7k

Chapter Warnings: Neck kisses, Masturbation

Chapter Summary: Sam, Seb, and Charlie play some tabletop RPG. Seb is still a tease. Charlie takes matters into her own hands.

Blurb:

Sam leaves soon after, grumbling about Jodi’s stupid curfew. I stay behind to help Seb clean up.

“You did really well by the way.” Seb looks at me, arms folded and a smile on his face.

I shrug, feeling the flush come to my cheeks. “I guess so. There's still a lot I don't know or need to relearn. It's been awhile.” I stand once I finish placing the minis in their respective slots and put the lid on the box. 

I gasp as Seb wraps me in a hug from behind, his breath hot against my ear. “Don't sell yourself short darling. You clearly know your stuff and you make smart moves.” I shiver as his voice shifts to sound more like his Xarth impression. “It's kind of hot.”

“Yoba, Seb!” I pant. How do we keep ending up here? I wiggle in his grip a little. “What is with you lately?”

“Whatever do you mean?” He asks coyly. His grip on me loosens a little, but his head stays where it's stationed next to mine.

“You know what I mean.” I turn around in his arms. Big mistake. Now I'm looking right into his eyes as they shine with mischief. “The teasing, the uh, physical stuff. You're acting like we're dating already.” I pout.

“Hmm. So you want me to stop?” Seb's voice keeps that deep tone to it. He moves both his hands to my shoulders.

“I-I dunno. I mean it just feels like maybe it might get confusing.”

“For who? Because honestly Charlie, if we were dating I wouldn't be doing this right now.”

“You wouldn't?” My voice becomes a whisper as I watch his pupils blow wide.

Seb shakes his head slowly, that pink tint slowly coming to his cheeks. “Charlie, if we had our shit figured out and I thought you'd let me? I'd have you up against a wall right now.” There's that almost growl I heard yesterday. Fangirl bot grabs a pitchfork and a torch, setting a searing heat alight below my belly. 

“Fuck.” I whisper. Seb's grip on my shoulders tighten. “Well if that were the case.” I look right up into his eyes. “I'd probably let you.”

I watch as he drifts closer, closer. His eyelashes flutter. I smirk and pull away. Seb lets out a frustrated groan as I begin packing my stuff to leave.

“Gods Charlie. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?” He scratches the back of his neck as he watches me.

“Hmm. Good question.” I sling my bag over my shoulder. “Maybe because we like it?” I smirk and wiggle my eyebrows, doing my best to mimic that stupid Seb face he always does.

Seb chuckles and draws closer to hug me goodbye. “Hmm you might have a point.” He wraps an arm around my shoulders and once again murmurs into my ear. “So if I keep doing this?”

My eyes flutter closed. The hand I have placed against his torso clenches around his T-shirt. Fangirl bot continues her riot in my abdomen and grabs for the mic before any other part of me can stop her.

“I'm not going to stop you.” I sigh, then shake my head to regain some control over the rampaging bot. “As long as it doesn't get out of hand,” I add on.

If I'm being honest with myself, I am enjoying the extra physical affection. Some of it maybe a little too much.

As if to prove my point, Seb mutters, “Of course,” and lands a peck right between my ear and the hinge of my jaw.

I slap my free hand over my mouth as an actual goddamn whimper tries to escape. It's all in vain apparently as Seb chuckles menacingly at my reaction. My face is on fire and so is the area between my legs.

“Okay!” I push his face away and he lets out a giggle. “That!” My index finger is right in his face. “That is boyfriend behavior!” I struggle to keep a straight face as he grins like an idiot. “Don't forget I'm your mom's favorite client asshole!”

“Alright, alright!” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I'm sorry. Boundary noted. No neck kisses.”

Read the Full Chapter on AO3

[gaysebastianvael]

25 for taliesin/seb, 8+9 for somahairle/dorian, 44 for royce/fenris, AND 3 for macha/sera

25. Do they share a room/house? If so, what does it look like and how does it compliment their personalities?

Sebastian officially moves into the Amell Estate when he and Taliesin get married. Officially meaning he'd been "visiting" more and more often as their relationship progressed and could easily be convinced to sleep there when their dinners together ran late into the night. He's used to not having a lot of furniture, but he does make a few spots his own. He claims a specific window for his herb garden, decorated with small statues of Andraste and other sentimental trinkets. He always assures Taliesin there's no need to ask permission before plucking a few for cooking, but he always asks anyway.

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

Dorian is passionate and caring. A comforting presence when nothing else seems to make sense. Somhairle could listen to him talk for hours, about magic, about Tevinter...anything really. He puts his heart into everything he does.

Somhairle is gentle and kind. He's willing to move at Dorian's pace, somehow knowing exactly what to do or say. Offering a shoulder to cry on, a hug, a joke, a distraction. A steady hand to hold on to when it feels like the world is twisting around him.

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

They are both incredibly stubborn. Both are fairly set in their ways and don't respond well to being challenged (or worse, being proven wrong.) When they're in agreement, it's endearing. When they aren't, it requires a conversation or two. When it comes down to it, both are willing to listen and understand, even if it takes time to get there.

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

In private, yes! They aren't as touchy in public, but at home they love a good snuggle (and, in the future, with the kids as well.) Royce doesn't want to cause his lyrium tattoos any pain, so Fenris is usually the one who initiates it.

3. What was their first impression of each other?

Sera thought Macha was…odd. Pleasantly friendly and flirtatious, but eager to meet another elf. The magic was concerning, but she seemed sweet enough, so Sera figured it was alright as long as she kept it to herself. It felt good to be acknowledged, to have her tales of Red Jenny mischief be met with awe and delight rather than scorn. And, as reluctant as Sera was to admit it, she was easy on the eyes.

Macha was confused. She found Sera captivating, her travels and skills and cheerful demeanor. Her drive to help was admirable and her generosity comforting. She was like a warm light, drawing her attention every time she passed. However, unfamiliar with people outside of her clan, Macha stumbled a bit when they first spoke. She wasn't sure what she'd said wrong, but Sera seemed to lose interest the conversation, and she worried she had offended her.

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 2:

Acting On Your Best Behaviour Ch 7:

Summary:

They'd seen it in their fellow orphans often enough to recognise the pattern and were now forced to admit, despite their hopes to the contrary, that Isidora had likely suffered similar side effects.

No… they'd always known she had. The Keeper had just wanted the power that Ranrok had, enough to convince themselves that they would be able to handle it better than that naive woman.

With the start of the Keeper’s sixth-year in Hogwarts, comes a whole slew of headache-inducing challenges from the most unexpected of places. Between insignificant pests throwing wrenches into their plans and tedious teenage drama, that the Keeper is entirely unprepared for, they wonder if they'll make it to their NEWTs without losing their sanity.

Or worse, Ominis or Sebastian.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Drama!

Somehow this chapter ended up being very long, I deliberated for a very long time as to whether I wanted to crop it down to 2000+ words or put it up as a chapter with 5000+ words.

I ended up deciding to put them into one chapter even though there’s a decent time gap between the 2nd and 3rd sections and it feels like a good point to split it into another chapter. Welp, I suppose too long beats too short, right? xD

And with a long chapter, comes an equally long set of notes at the end ha ha ha, I'm sorry-

"That's terrible… are you sure they're alright?" Poppy asked anxiously and Natty rushed to console her as they walked together towards their first class.

"Yes, they didn't look too worse for wear when we parted ways yesterday." Natty placed a hand on Poppy's shoulder supportively.

"I wonder why they didn't tell us…" Poppy sighed, shaking her head dejectedly.

Natty could understand why Poppy would be upset that her crush hadn't been honest with her. "They apologised for involving me when I found out, I'm sure they just didn't want to endanger you."

Poppy's face flushed slightly but she quickly shook her head. "That's the last thing they should be worried about, we've been through so much together… we have to help them."

Natty nodded thoughtfully. "Agreed, I'm thinking of recruiting some of their friends to help us too, like Amit, I know he’s been going out with them in the evenings to search for Astronomy tables."

Poppy hummed. "What about Ominis and Sebastian?"

Natty blinked. "Gaunt? I mean, I know our friend is quite close to Sallow but…"

"Well, they seem to be spending more time with Ominis too near the end of last term, I've noticed them helping him in class sometimes." Poppy shrugged.

"I thought they were just being nice since he's…" Natty trailed off awkwardly.

"Well, you haven't been here very long, so you probably don't know, but Ominis doesn't seem to really need much help despite not being able to see." Poppy explained.

"That's even worse, isn't it?" Natty shook her head. "I'm not sure it's a good idea, I think he's interested in Dark Magic."

"Where'd you hear that?" Poppy smiled wryly. "Besides, I don't think our friend is a stranger to dark arts, they are in Slytherin after all."

"I gathered as much, but I hope they don't dabble too much in such things." Natty grimaced but nodded concedingly. "I suppose it's worth seeing if they want to help, since he and Sallow are in the same house as our friend."

Natty paused. That’s right, Sallow and Gaunt were from Slytherin too.

Surely, there was no way the two boys hadn’t noticed the Keeper being stalked and attacked by their own housemates. If they knew about it, why had they done nothing to stop it? How could they stand by and do nothing as their friend was being hurt?

Her Gryffindor housemates had warned Natty about the dangers of being friends with Slytherins when she’d taken up a friendship with the Keeper, how most of the Slytherin students were cold, selfish, proud, and callous. She’d brushed off their warnings, even after Imelda Reyes had laughed when Natty fell off her broom the first time she’d tried flying.

After all, the Keeper was a great friend and one of the bravest people she’d ever known.

Yet what reason could there be for both the Keeper’s Slytherin friends to not go to their aid in their time of need? Why would both Sallow and Gaunt not tell their head of house about what was going on?

Her mother had warned her about the bigotry of the Noble families of Britian. With the Gaunts, Blacks and Malfoys being the most crucial names to avoid as much as possible. Powerful and dangerous, those ancient houses were known to meddle with dark magic.

Natty had previously felt that the Keeper’s other friends were none of her business unless they were hanging out together, but perhaps she should rescind that mentality for this battle. She needed to know who she could trust to be on the Keeper’s side. If those boys couldn’t be trusted with her friend’s safety, that was now something she needed to be sure of.

"I was thinking we could drop by the dorm to check on them after a quick bite." Sebastian suggested, as he and Ominis made their way to the great hall for lunch.

"Yes, that's a fine idea. I'm just glad they were amenable to the idea of taking today off." Ominis agreed, a soft smile on his face.

"Feels like they're really relying on us more." Sebastian grinned proudly.

"Indeed, we have to find a way to help them…" Ominis nodded resolutely. "This can't go on for much longer."

"Yeah." Sebastian sighed, as wonderful as it was to have more of the Keeper's trust than they'd ever had, the circumstances surrounding their newfound softness were not remotely ideal.

Sebastian hummed thoughtfully before suggesting. "Maybe we can try to disable those idiots long enough for them to get to the Undercroft."

"I feel like we would need too much coordination for something like that…" Ominis shook his head. "We'd need to make sure neither of them are found, nor can we afford to give them any evidence that we attacked them."

"Blast those buffoons, how do two simpletons with the IQ of a Troll manage to be such a pain in the arse?" Sebastian muttered in frustration, running a hand through his hair roughly.

He felt Ominis' steps slow beside him and Sebastian paused as his partner spoke. "Oh, hello. Onai, right? Can we help you?"

Natty shivered uncomfortably when Ominis stopped to address her without even turning to face her. She knew that looking at her would be entirely unnecessary and impossible for him, but it was still an unsettling experience. How did he recognise her?

"I was wondering if the two of you might be interested in working together with Poppy, Amit and I to help our mutual friend." Natty asked as calmly and evenly as she could, deciding to just take a direct approach instead of dancing around the subject.

To her surprise, the two boys seemed to regard her warily. Which made her even more suspicious of them, why would they react that way unless they had something to hide?

"Help? What with?" Ominis asked airily.

"I'm sure as housemates, the two of you must be aware that they haven't been very well lately." Natty replied, frowning.

"Of course, we have." Sebastian raised an eyebrow and folded his arms while Ominis leaned against the wall behind him, rolling his wand in his hands.

"And neither of you tried to figure out what was going on?" Natty's lips tightened, voicing the thought that had been bothering her ever since her chat with Poppy. "I thought you two were friends with them."

Sebastian immediately stiffened with indignation at the accusatory tone in her voice, but before he could speak, Ominis laughed coldly. "As opposed to what Onai? You who did the same and are now taking out your frustration at your own shortcomings on others?"

"I was being courteous towards them and respecting their silence, but I cannot see how either of you could have missed the fact that they were being bullied by upperclassmen from your house." Natty straightened defensively.

"Did you not consider that we already knew about what was going on?" Ominis tipped his head with a tight smile.

Natty bristled, glaring at the Slytherin, his unfocused gaze felt cold and uncaring. What kind of friend was he!?

"And neither of you did anything!?" Natty exclaimed, even more furious, was he stupid? Pointing that out wasn’t making himself or Sallow look any better. Weren't they friends with the Keeper? Did they not care? She'd never felt so appalled and frustrated, she was starting to see what her housemates had been warning her about.

"Like what? Get mad at anyone who isn't visibly doing something about it?" Sebastian scoffed.

"Like tell a professor about it before it got this bad." Natty shot back, before my mother got caught up in this too, her temper rising by the moment. To think, she'd thought Imelda Reyes bad, but these boys were breaking all her high scores.

"If you want to believe that you're the only one who doesn't have the option of tattling to an authority figure, so be it." Ominis huffed. "Frankly, I couldn't care less. We neither have the time nor interest in helping you assuage your own feelings of powerlessness."

Ominis pushed himself off the wall, straightening and smoothening out his robes. "Now, if that's all you wanted, I believe we are done here."

Natty stared at him for a moment, stunned by his blunt words and scathing tone. She glanced at Sebastian, taking in his equally hostile expression. Honestly, she'd thought better of Sallow, he was cocky and aloof, but he'd also had a reputation for being a brave mischief maker as well. Guess he was in Slytherin too for a reason.

"Fine, I knew I couldn't trust a Gaunt." Natty spat before turning to storm off towards the great hall.

Sebastian bristled as she quickly faded from sight. "The nerve of that-"

He cut himself off, clenching his teeth to reign in his anger, his partner came first. After taking a steadying breath, Sebastian turned back to Ominis, brushing the back of his knuckles against his pale cheek. "Hey, you alright?"

"Of course, I am. If I had a knut every time someone judged me for my lineage, I'd be able to afford a new set of robes every day." Ominis huffed sardonically.

"You know we don't though, right?" Sebastian asked softly, taking a step closer. "I've never cared about that and neither have they."

Ominis' ears turned red as he felt Sebastian's lips against his cheek. "Yes, I do know."

"Good." Sebastian grinned, enjoying the rare sight of the blind boy flustered.

Hearing the smile in Sebastian's voice, Ominis rolled his eyes. "Alright, let's go, if we don't hurry, we won't have time to visit the dorm."

"Yeah, we need to come up with a solution for them." Sebastian agreed, sobering quickly and Ominis' brow creased, his thoughts returning to their resting partner as the two began making their way to the great hall as well.

"You're supposed to be resting." Ominis sighed as he and Sebastian entered the common room.

"I am resting." The Keeper chuckled, lifting their eyes from the tome in their lap, shifting slightly so that Sebastian could sit down on the couch beside them while Ominis sat on the opposite side.

"And here I thought we'd get to play out the idyllic troupe of feeding you in bed." Sebastian sighed dramatically as he placed a small package of food on the table.

"Why either of you consider reading as resting is beyond me." Ominis shook his head.

“It’s really not as hard as it sounds.” Sebastian chuckled as Ominis raised an eyebrow sceptically.

“Really. I believe our classmates beg to differ.” Ominis rolled his eyes, before his eyes narrowed with concern. "How are you feeling?"

"Perfectly well, not a bruise in sight." The Keeper replied, trying to inject some liveliness into their voice.

From both their expressions, it didn't seem to have worked very well. The Keeper sighed. "I am improved but besides my injuries, my condition remains unchanged."

"I see… try not to worry too much and focus on conserving your strength. Sebastian and I will think of a solution." Ominis smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you, both of you." The Keeper smiled, their chest filled with warmth, before they flashed a smirk. "But don't expect me to sit back and let the two of you deal with them alone. I'm not out of the game yet."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Sebastian grinned, while Ominis shook his head helplessly with a resigned smile. "Speaking of plans, Natsai Onai approached us just a while ago."

The Keeper blinked. "She did? Whatever for?"

"Apparently she wanted to know why we weren't helping you with the bullies since we're housemates." Ominis rolled his eyes, looking annoyed. "Practically accused us of being friends of poor taste."

"And it sounds like Onai told Amit and Poppy what you told her as well." Sebastian grimaced.

"Right blabbermouth that one, rude too." Ominis muttered irritably. "Does she not know the meaning of respecting others' privacy?"

The Keeper winced, well, they should probably have seen that coming. Natty was a very direct, brash, and open person, with strong opinions and a stronger sense of justice. Completely in conflict with the more careful and calculative way that Slytherins approached problems.

She must have misunderstood Sebastian and Ominis' cautious behaviour, as well as the Slytherin tendency to hide their emotions until trust has been earned, mistaking it as a lack of compassion.

"Don't pay her any mind, Natty's just really passionate and devoted to any cause she takes up. I suppose this has become one of her causes." The Keeper sighed. "I'll talk to her. At the very least, I know Amit and Poppy can keep secrets."

Sebastian and Ominis didn't look very assuaged but nodded in acceptance. The Keeper rubbed a hand over their forehead tiredly.

Exactly what they needed, more complications.

"Hey, Natty, are you alright?" Poppy asked, looking concerned as she snapped Natty out of her thoughts.

"Huh? Ah, yes, I am, you needn't worry Poppy." Natty gave her a strained smile. From Poppy's expression, it hadn't been very convincing, she sighed.

Natty was trying hard not to show it, but she couldn't forget what Gaunt had said. Was she doing the same thing? Choosing to let her friend remain at the mercy of those bullies rather than endanger herself and her loved ones.

Was her anger at Gaunt and Sallow just a misdirect of her own frustration at essentially being disarmed and out of the fight because those bullies had found out her secret? Was she more angry at them for their inaction because that inaction made them bad friends or because she wouldn’t be in this situation if they had resolved it before it reached her?

Was she just feeling guilty that she wasn't as fearless and brave as she'd always believed? That she couldn't be as courageous as her father anymore? She knew that he was a man who would fight for people who couldn't protect themselves, but would he have risked his own family for it?

More than ever, Natty wished he were still alive, that she could ask him these questions. She even wished she could ask her mother for advice, but she knew that her mother might decide to move to another country rather than face this danger. To her mother, family was a righteous cause.

What was the right thing to do? Stay to fight, risk her loved ones, or flee? The only option that didn't feel like running away was the one that risked her and her mother's freedom. Every choice came with guilt, how was she to choose?

This spiral of thoughts had cost Natty a restful night and she'd woken up feeling no surer than before. She sighed, with answers eluding her, all she could do was focus on doing her best to help her friend.

Natty took a deep breath to brace herself as she and Poppy stepped into the Three Broomsticks. The familiar hum of groups of students and Hogsmeade residents chatting casually, over a delicious mug of butterbeer and snacks, filled the pub.

She glanced around, before spotting the Keeper sitting in the corner where the portrait of Ferdinand once hung. She wasn't sure what exactly happened to the snooty prick but if the rumours were to be believed, it was the Keeper who was to thank for the students' reprieve.

"How are you feeling?" Poppy immediately asked, her expression deeply concerned. The Keeper was looking more exhausted than even Natty had expected.

"Don't look so worried, Poppy. I'm not going to keel over anytime soon." The Keeper chuckled wryly.

"She wouldn't be worried if you didn't look like you were actually about to keel over." Natty shook her head. "What have those bullies been doing?"

"Let's just say they've been making it hard for me to sleep." The Keeper replied evasively, and Natty felt a spike of concern.

What could the bullies be doing that could keep their friend up at night, to the extent that they would look this drained? The fact that it was something the Keeper didn't want to share was extremely concerning, but Natty felt like it would be worse of her to try and force the Keeper to talk about something so clearly distressing.

A glance at Poppy confirmed that she felt the same and they silently agreed to refrain from pressing the Keeper on the subject. She and Poppy instead took a seat, while Sirona sat down a towel she was holding and strolled over.

"Hello there, what can I get you?" Sirona smiled warmly as she stopped by the table.

"Four butterbeers, please." Natty replied with an answering smile, and Sirona flicked her wand to send four mugs to the barrel to begin filling.

"Are you alright there, my friend?" Sirona asked, her brows furrowed in concern as she gazed at the Keeper. "You look like you need a good night's sleep."

"I do, but I'll be fine, thank you for your concern, Sirona." The Keeper nodded politely.

Sirona sighed. "Do take care of yourself, I know you've been running around solving everyone's problems since the day you got here, but you shouldn't neglect your own health."

"I'll do my best." The Keeper flashed a wry smile as Sirona began to engage in pleasant conversation with Natty and even Poppy.

Honestly, the Keeper liked Sirona, a lot. The barkeeper had incredible charisma and an enviable ability to put people at ease.

Well, most people. The Keeper was honestly just unaccustomed to the type of goodness that Sirona carried around with her. She wasn't naïve like Natty, and she hadn't been cowed by her struggles and become reclusive like Poppy.

In a way, Sirona was exactly what everyone wanted to become as adults. Someone confident in the path they had chosen, proud and strong but not cruel or arrogant. Someone who was well loved and could stand up for people they barely knew.

Someone… unlike the person the Keeper knew they were likely to become. They already knew that the path they’d been set upon did not conform to societal norms, and they were content with that knowledge. The way the Keeper "helped" others was similar in appearance yet in stark contrast to Sirona's selfless generosity. A parallel of actions stemming from differing motivations.

The Keeper had never really understood why they felt uncomfortable around Sirona, but now, they could see why they felt stiff around her despite their fondness for her. It was the fact that the Keeper should want to emulate Sirona like their peers, but they didn't. As the mugs of butterbeer sailed over to their table, the Keeper shook these thoughts from their mind.

"Thank you, Sirona." The Keeper nodded as they accepted a mug.

"My pleasure, do let me know if you need anything else." Sirona gave them another warm smile before leaving the table.

A few moments later, the doors opened for Amit and Garreth to enter.

"Ah, sorry for being a bit late!" Amit apologised, as he shuffled over, looking slightly dishevelled and frazzled.

"Yeah, sorry, I just needed to grab something on the way." Garreth chimed in, as the two of them took a seat as well. He leaned back slightly and called out. “Hey, Sirona! Could I have a butterbeer?”

By the bar counter, Sirona glanced over at their table and gave Garreth a nod, flicking her wand and sending another butterbeer floating over to him with a relaxed. “Enjoy!”

With a grin, Garreth plucked the mug from the air and turned back to the group. "Alright, how are we gonna nail those bullies?"

Poppy blinked at Garreth in confusion while Natty raised an eyebrow at Amit. "You told Garreth?"

"What? No, I didn't, I thought you two told him." Amit now looked twice as confused as Poppy.

"Well, I didn't…" Poppy glanced at Natty, who also shook her head.

"Ah yes, now here's the thing." Garreth grinned impishly, propping an elbow on the table with a flourish. "Unbeknownst to the three of you, I happened to be disillusioned under a nearby table whilst my housemate explained the situation to dear Amit here and inadvertently heard the whole tale."

Garreth brushed his wavy locks aside dramatically. "Which is most certainly a stroke of good fortune for the lot of you, as I doubt there is a mischief maker quite as prolific as I."

He paused for a moment, before reluctantly adding. "Save perhaps Sebastian Sallow."

The long moment of silence was broken by the Keeper's snort of amusement. "Well, I can't say he's wrong, at least not about the mischief making."

"Why were you hiding under the table?" Poppy asked in bemusement.

“Well-” Garreth opened his mouth eagerly but was interrupted by Natty. "Please don't, trust me Poppy, it's not worth it and we don’t have all day."

"Oh, come on-" Garreth grumbled as Natty continued.

"I think we should confront them. We outnumber them and if we present a united front, maybe those bullies will think twice about attacking one of us." Natty suggested, her fist tightening with resolve.

"Maybe we can-" Garreth began, when he was abruptly cut off.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea…" Amit shifted nervously. "The element of surprise is with us right now, maybe we could just escort our friend around till the bullies graduate?"

"Or we could-" Garreth tried again.

Poppy shook her head vehemently. "We can't always be with them, especially at night, the bullies have even been disrupting their sleep. This can't continue!"

The group glanced at the Keeper in unison and the Keeper had to make a concerted effort to avoid scowling at the blatant pity in the group's eyes.

"Well-" Garreth opened his mouth.

"I say we fight back and give them a taste of what it's like to be hunted. Make those bullies understand that we aren't afraid of hurting them either." Poppy's eyes were dark as she said this, making Natty, Amit and Garreth stare at her in shock.

"While I agree that we should do something, let's try not to sink to their level." Natty laughed awkwardly, patting Poppy on the shoulder. If there was anyone she'd expected such a vicious suggestion from, it was the Keeper, not Poppy!

"I already gave them a good beating, all that did was ensure that they try to catch me off guard from a safe distance." The Keeper shrugged.

"Somehow I'm not surprised." Poppy smiled and Natty wondered what it said about herself, that her two close friends were perfectly capable of ruthless violence.

"Maybe we can frame the bullies for a serious crime? Or just bait them into committing one?" Amit suggested thoughtfully.

"How about-" Garreth made another attempt but was cut off again by Natty.

"I'd rather not frame them, but we could try to get evidence about what they've done…" Natty nodded.

"Maybe they have recorded some of their actions?" Poppy tapped her chin in thought. "Like in a diary?"

"Guys-"

"They do keep diaries, I believe." The Keeper nodded, thinking of a way to explain their knowledge without revealing that Sebastian had stolen them once. "I've seen one of them scribble in what looked like a journal once."

"Hey-"

"That might work, we'd just need a way to keep the bullies distracted while our friend here masterfully sneaks into the seventh-year dorm and steals the diaries!" Amit agreed, slapping the Keeper on the back.

"Sure." The Keeper chuckled, mildly amused by the way everyone had universally decided to ignore Garreth.

"Let me just-"

Poppy frowned. "How would we keep the bullies' attention though? I doubt we can get them to stop following-"

"Guys!" Garreth finally lost it and stood, slamming two vials down in the centre of the table.

The pub went silent as everyone, including other students and customers, turned to stare at Garreth who was now frozen like a mooncalf.

Grimacing at the amount of attention Garreth had just drawn, the Keeper raised their voice, injecting a casual boredom into it. "No Garreth, for the last time, we're not going to let you test your potions on us. I heard that Sebastian almost lost all his hair after taking one of your potions."

The rest of the pub laughed as Garreth sat back down looking sheepish and the attention gradually drifted away from their table once more.

"Well done, Garreth." The Keeper chuckled.

Garreth rolled his eyes, cleared his throat, and gestured at the two vials. "Anyway, we can use these to distract the bullies."

"Is that-" Amit gasped, looking at the thick brown liquid inside the vials.

"Polyjuice potion!" Garreth grinned triumphantly, shaking his head while clicking his tongue. "I told you, you guys are lucky I'm here, and you wouldn't even listen to a word I had to say."

The Keeper shrugged. "It was funny."

"How rude." Garreth scoffed in mock offence.

Natty stared at the vials dubiously. "Did you make these yourself?"

"Of course!" Garreth tipped his chin up proudly.

"Why do you even have Polyjuice potion on you?" Poppy asked, sounding bewildered.

"Why, you never know when you might need to transform into a teacher or prefect to escape a sticky situation or acquire something." Garreth replied, as though it were perfectly normal to carry around vials of potions.

The Keeper grinned, admittedly, they had twenty-five wiggenweld potions on them at all times, so who were they to judge. "To be fair, Garreth is one of the best potioneers in our class when he's not experimenting."

"Wow, an unambiguous compliment from our resident genius, I'm flattered." Garreth winked, prompting the Keeper to roll their eyes at him.

"How long do you think they'll last?" Poppy asked, curiously picking up a vial and rolling it between her fingers.

"About an hour each." Garreth gave a bow. "I'm willing to donate these potions to the cause, should be enough for the Keeper to steal some diaries before those bullies realise that they've been foiled."

"How generous." The Keeper eyed him suspiciously.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm still a Gryffindor and a Weasley. I ain't going to watch a friend suffer without trying to help." Garreth sighed, as though hurt by the implication of the Keeper’s words.

The Keeper was still sceptical but tipped their head concedingly while Natty smiled proudly.

"That and I think it'd be hilarious to look at those diaries. Wonder if there's anything silly in there that we can paste up all over and by the great hall." Garreth smirked mischievously.

Natty sighed while the Keeper chuckled. That was more in character.

"Alright, we have a plan. So, who wants to do the honours?" Natty asked, her expression clearly hopeful that someone else would volunteer to take the potions.

Amit looked equally reluctant and Garreth rolled his eyes. "I'll take one, it's my own month-long work. So, we just need another volunteer."

"I'll do it." Poppy wrapped her fingers around the vial that she was still holding, her expression determined.

"You sure?" The Keeper asked with some amusement, glancing over at Garreth teasingly. "I wouldn't want to visit you in the hospital wing."

"Hey!" Garreth protested indignantly.

Poppy giggled shyly. "Thanks, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

The Keeper accepted her statement with a shrug. "Guess all that's left is to decide when to enact the plan."

"I think we should do it over the weekend, less people inside Hogwarts." Amit suggested.

Natty nodded. "Saturday, after noon would probably be best."

The Keeper nodded, feeling the endeavours of the day wearing down on their already low energy levels and found themselves quickly tuning out the group's banter, mostly focusing just enough to pick out key words from the discussion.

The group spent several more minutes determining the details of the operation over some butterbeer.

Thus, the sun was already setting by the time Amit and Garreth left to return to Hogwarts, while Poppy rushed off to Brood and Peck to pick up some snacks for her creature friends before the shops closed.

As Poppy left the Keeper alone with Natty, they wondered how they might bring up Natty's interaction with Sebastian and Ominis. Fortunately for them however, Natty initiated that conversation herself.

Natty began hesitantly. "Hey, I know it isn't any of my business, but I think you should probably keep your distance from Gaunt and Sallow."

The Keeper bristled inwardly, but kept their expression level, and their voice calm as they replied. "You're right."

Natty smiled with relief, right until the Keeper continued. "It isn't any of your business, and while I appreciate you going to all this trouble to help me, it would have been better for you to ask me or at least inform me of your plans before you told other people about my problems."

She flinched at the Keeper’s words, while their tone wasn't angry, she could tell they weren't very pleased with her. Natty searched desperately for a way to defend her actions but the Keeper continued.

"In all fairness, I did say you could do what you want, I just didn't think you'd tell five different people about my personal problems." The Keeper sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose. "That was my miscalculation."

"I- I'm sorry, I suppose I didn't think of it that way." Natty grimaced, before frowning at a concerning thought that just occurred to her. "I guess I didn't think you'd mind that, you do know that there's no shame in being bullied, right? Those bullies are the ones who should be ashamed."

The Keeper snorted lightly, if they didn't know that Natty was being genuine, they'd probably be insulted by her concerned tone.

"I do understand that, and that's beside the point. Regardless of how you thought I'd feel about it or why you assumed I wasn't telling others about this, you revealed information that I was keeping secret for months now, without consulting me." The Keeper explained as clearly as they could.

They understood that Natty meant well, but she had to understand this, and learn to respect the Keeper's reasons, decisions, and privacy if they were to continue their friendship.

Natty looked away guiltily, she hadn't considered this, hadn't thought of it that way. Hadn't realised that she'd basically acted without the Keeper’s consent.

"I'm sorry, my friend…" Natty sighed. "I just wanted to help, and I guess I didn't understand what I was inadvertently doing."

"I know. That's why I'm not angry." The Keeper stood, understanding that she probably needed time to think about what they'd said. The Keeper hadn’t really forgiven her for upsetting their partners, but they also did genuinely appreciate Natty's efforts to aid them against the bullies and didn't want to jeopardise the Polyjuice plan.

As they passed by her on their way to the door, the Keeper patted her on the shoulder and added. "And don't concern yourself with Ominis and Sebastian, just because I get on with them well, doesn't mean you have to. Just steer clear of them if you don't like them."

Natty watched quietly as the Keeper gave a casual wave and disappeared through the door.

As the doors closed, she sighed, slumping onto the table. Natty had a feeling that she was going to have a hard time sleeping tonight too.

Notes:

I found some voice lines from the game files of NPCs making comments on other NPCs and one of them was Natty saying “I would be careful of Ominis Gaunt if I were you - I think he is interested in Dark Magic.”

Which is absolutely the most bizarre thing I ever thought I’d hear her say, like, WUT!? I think you’re confusing Ominis with Sebastian. I know Ominis’ cheeks look rather sallow but that’s Sebastian’s surname not his-

The only reason I could think of, for Natty to think such a thing, is Ominis’ family’s reputation. So, I wondered who she’d trust enough to blindly believe (when it comes to anything besides her own safety) and my best guess is that would be her mother. If it was a housemate who told her, she'd probably have said "I heard that he's interested etc" rather than "I think he's interested etc"

I also feel that Ominis would react pretty bitingly towards anyone he sees as slighting those he loves. I mean, just look at how he treats us when he catches us outside the Undercroft! “I don’t need you to tell me about my oldest friend.” And “He doesn’t need your help.” And if you are honest, “Why should I trust you? You just betrayed Sebastian.”

Ominis is the type of guy who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt anyone who endangers or insults those he cares about. Whether they mean to or not. While Sebastian is easily angered when his protective love is questioned or challenged. Plus, they’re both busy worrying about the Keeper, so Natty’s really just coming at them with the worst timing, and all three of them being stressed means boooom!

Hope that made sense x’D

Also, I actually drew from my own personal experiences for Natty at the last portion of this chapter. I have, myself in the past as an inexperienced and naive young early-teen, inadvertently shared information without permission in my pursuit of justice and received condemnation from the party I was defending.

Of course, I understood afterwards that what I did was wrong, but I erred because no one taught me about the importance of consent even when your actions are taken with good intent. My childhood was… well, let’s just say I didn’t have a great dad, he's very religious, so instead I'd been taught to do "the right thing" whether others agreed or not.

"For your own good" is a dangerous mentality. Something Sebastian learnt the hard way when he hurt Ominis while keeping secrets from him "for his own good".

Thus, while I don’t think anyone too young should be reading this series, if there is indeed a young’un like my past self here, I’m hoping that this will help prevent someone from experiencing the same guilt and self-loathing I experienced when I realised that I’d done something that I couldn’t take back.

[0nlinejournal]

04/07/2023 2:04pm

I love doing absolutely nothing on my days off. I used to feel so much guilt/shame around not doing anything, but now I am so grateful to be able to have days like this. I should probably shower, though.

I went over to Alex and Liz's apartment for a couple hours last night. Watched them take turns playing Little Nightmares 2. It was a fine visit, glad I was able to make it out. I didn't particularly enjoy Alex screaming at the top of her lungs right next to me, but nothing I could do except gently remind her she has fucking neighbors.

I always have to park in visitor parking when I go over there and wait for one of them to open the gate (like the whole ass car gate). I called and texted but Alex's phone was face down on the coffee table. I didn't text Liz because Alex has gotten upset in the past that I only talk to Liz, so I was trying to include Alex through small actions. Anyway, two gals left through the gate after only about a minute of me standing there, so I slipped in while they slipped out. But, when I left, so on my way out, I also texted Alex to let me out. I stood there for like two minutes (and it was cold) before she finally texted me that there's a foot door on the side of her building to get out. Which meant I would have to backtrack, go through the gate, and then walk to, and past where I was already standing. I'm not gonna lie I was a little salty about it. Ultimately it's whatever, but jeeeeez alriiiiiight. Liz texted me when I was pulling out asking if I made it to my car alright. I said yes but it was cold I didn't like that, and she said I should've texted her she would've let me out. And I know I should've. I wanted to, but I was still trying to make Alex feel more involved and special and it was all for nothing whatever.

Such a minor event, but still. It's stuff like this that seems to build up when it comes to Alex. Things have to go how she wants them to go and also fuck other people's feelings. I don't know if that last bit is true at all, I'm just a little pissy from last night and the previous text message conversation I had with her. Which, I still didn't get to talk to her about. I honestly don't know how to bring it up? Like, "hey you can't say shit like this to me even when you're upset". I don't feel like I can tell her how to behave. I mean, I know if I think about it for more than two seconds I know I wouldn't phrase it that way, but it still feels like it could come off that way.

"I want to be there for you when you're upset, but I am not capable of doing that if you start to get accusatory or try to guilt trip me. There are certain phrases that you have said in the past (insert: but like fuck alex right? that's fine, i just don't have any friends. i just want to hang out with my friend's for once) that are not accurate and overdramatize reality that I feel are intended to make me feel terrible. I don't react well when people intentionally try to guilt trip me, because of my mother. It will have the opposite affect that you want." blah blah blah something along those lines, I'm still kind off irritable so there still might be some aggression in between the lines, idk. I'll work on it.

You know, I was talking about the trivia night texts with Seb and he stopped me early on into me relaying the conversation to him to say that she (Alex) for some reason is putting her not-being-able-to-go onto me. That she is putting this restriction on herself (she doesn't want to hang out with my bf anymore) but putting her deciding to miss out on things on me because I said yes to something we were invited to. And like, yeah, she is! I think she 100% is and that's why she said the things she said. I don't think she even realizes that that isn't an okay thing to do. Ah, that's something else I'll have to add into the conversation I want to have with her.

"This is a restriction you have chosen to put on yourself (mind you, she won't go to things at all if we'll be there, even when she wouldn't have to interact with my bf at all) and it is not my responsibility to bare the weight you feel from the consequences of that decision." Something like that.

God, I am so tired of thinking about this. I literally don't ever think about people this much when I'm alone. I like to fuck off and do my own shit, but this whole ordeal has really consumed my brain and I feel like a fucking crazy person. At least it's not a constant thing, but it is still far more prevalent than I'd like for it to be. I didn't even mean to write this much. I'd love to talk about literally anything fucking else, but I guess I don't have much else to say since this is all I could manage for today.

2:57pm

[jessybarnes]

Baby Steps

Title: Baby Steps

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan

Rating: General

Word Count: 901

Tags: Angst, fluff, coming out, Chris is anxious, Sebastian is the sweetest, Sebastian also speaks Romanian to Chris in this.

Written For: @comfortember

Day 11: Holding Hands

Beta(s): Just Grammarly

A/N: I am not Romanian, nor do I speak the language. I used Google Translate, which I don't trust 100%. If you speak Romanian and any of my translations are incorrect, please let me know what it should be and I will change it. :)

Translations: şi eu te iubesc, dragostea mea = I love you too, my love. and Iubitul meu = My beloved.

Chris sighs as he sits on the end of the bed in his hotel room. He's never been this nervous before in his life. Okay, maybe he's exaggerating a little bit, but this is big.

He and Sebastian have been dating each other for the better part of a year, and they've managed to keep it secret from the public eye. How he isn't sure, but that’s beside the point.

They've agreed that now is the time to make it official with the fans and the press. Both of their managers have also told them that this will be good for publicity.

So, that brings him here, in a hotel in San Diego, California, only an hour away from coming out to the biggest comic-con crowd in the United States.

A soft knock on the door brings him back to reality, and he stands up to answer it. He knows it's Seb. No one else other than the hotel staff knows he's here and he didn't order room service.

Chris opens the door and is met with a sleepy-looking Sebastian. He's just wearing black jeans and a dark grey sweater, but it still takes his breath away.

"Wow...you look..."

His boyfriend steps past him into the room so he can shut the door. "Tired? I know...I barely slept."

"I was going to say beautiful, sweetheart, but if it makes you feel any better, I'm equally exhausted. I can't sleep without you next to me."

Sebastian blushes at the compliment and smiles brightly, "you're such a sap, Evans." His hands settle on the blonde's waist and he presses a slow and sweet kiss on his lips, "but I love that about you. You're so good to me, baby."

Chris cradles his face and kisses him back fervently. "I'll always be good to you, honey. I love you, Sebastian."

They bump foreheads gently and Seb looks deeply into his eyes, "şi eu te iubesc, dragostea mea."

Chris's thumb brushes his cheek softly. There's very little he loves more than when Sebastian speaks to him in his mother tongue. It makes him weak in the knees every single time.

"Can we just stay here instead? Maybe we can order food and binge-watch that show you like?"

"I'd love to, but we should really make an appearance at the convention first. I don't know about you, but I don't particularly want to be the cause of a bunch of rioting fans because Cap and Bucky didn't show up." He winks and Chris sighs.

"You're right. I just... what if it doesn't go well? I-I mean...I know Scott's been out for years, but as far as the fans know, I'm only rooting for one team. I don't care what they think about me, but I certainly don't want you receiving hate because of this."

"Iubitul meu, I promise everything will be alright, okay? We can do this, and I'll be right there with you."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Forty-five minutes later they're standing backstage listening to the crowd chatter among themselves excitedly. Sebastian pulls Chris into his arms and splays his hands across his back.

"Just remember to breathe, baby. I promise everything will be alright."

The host announces their names and Seb walks out first with Chris right behind him. They put on big smiles and wave at the screaming fans before taking a seat in the chairs provided for them.

Chris bounces his leg up and down anxiously and Sebastian has to force himself not to reach out and place his hand on his knee.

The host brings the microphone to her lips and looks at them with a smile, "Chris! Sebastian! You two look amazing this evening! How are you guys?"

Seb knows his love is nervous so he takes initiative and answers for both of them.

"We're doing fine! Thank you for having us here tonight."

She nods and gestures to the crowd, "Now, I know some of these lovely fans have questions, but I understand that the two of you have an announcement to make first?"

Sebastian glances at Chris for a moment before looking out at the eager crowd. "We do. Chris, did you want to do the honors?"

The blonde feels his pulse quicken as he stands. He steps toward the edge of the stage and swallows thickly just as Sebastian moves to stand next to him.

"H-Hey everyone...uhh, I hope you all are doing well."

He takes a deep breath and scans the sea of people who have now gone so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"This is...a pretty big announcement for me and Sebastian, and it's...well, it's something we wanted you all to hear from us directly."

He sighs and decides to just go for it. There's no use beating around the bush any longer.

"As many of you know, Sebastian is a great friend of mine. We uh... met on the set of Captain America: The First Avenger and have been friends ever since. Something that you guys don't know is..."

Chris stops and turns to peek at his sweetheart. He's looking at him like he'd hung the moon, and his heart skips a beat when Sebastian reaches for his hand and intertwines their fingers.

It gives him the courage to continue, his nerves disappearing as soon as he feels his boyfriend's gentle touch.

Chris turns back to the now-shocked crowd and smiles warmly.

"...Sebastian and I...we're...together..."

Tagging: @sarahrogersevans @chrisevansdaughter @brandyywar @nerdygingermoose88

[z0mbicide]

Cassiel is very blunt. He doesn't have much tact when it comes to asking questions. Naturally, Shawn doesn't like him much. Sebastian assures him Cas isn't that bad, and he means well when he asks questions, no matter how insensitive he is or invasive they are.

"Shawn, he isn't trying to make you uncomfortable. He just doesn't get Earth stuff. Y'know, like.. human things." Seb always says. Shawn doesn't care. Just because Cassiel doesn't get it, that doesn't mean he's allowed to be rude.

When Cassiel crosses a line, Shawn gets defensive. When Shawn gets defensive, Cassiel doubles down. The cycle doesn't end until the two of them are separated. As a means of avoiding any more confrontations between the two, Sebastian and Faith stage an intervention. Sebastian enlists Faith's help because if any of them is equipped to articulate Shawn's perspective in a way Cas will understand, it's her.

Shawn is completely unaware. Even when Cassiel starts acting differently. The change is slow.

Shawn is shuffling a deck of cards in his usual seat on the train one afternoon. He does both bridges, cuts the deck four ways, stacks each pile randomly, then starts again with the first bridge. When he starts dealing the cards in four groups ("One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two..."), heavy footsteps approach. Of course, he ignores it. It's probably just Hope stomping away because Faith embarrassed her in front of the gang or something.

It isn't until the footsteps stop and the person speaks, that he realizes his assumption was incorrect.

"Shawn. I want to ask you something." Oh no.

Shawn shifts uncomfortably, hastily gathering his cards and setting the deck aside. "What?"

Cassiel is quiet for a moment, as if he's trying to piece his thoughts together. That's a first, and it makes Shawn more nervous. Doubly so, as the man wordlessly takes the seat across from him and fixes his harsh gaze onto him. Soon, Cassiel speaks.

"Is it alright if I ask you some questions about your.. situation?" This was a surprise. He was still being gruff, but he wasn't being unkind. Shawn relaxes, though only a little.

"Um.. sure?"

"I don't... understand." Cassiel's brows furrow. "How does it work?" His head tilts to the side a bit. He definitely picked that up from Seb.

"Well, uh.." Shawn clears his throat, sitting up a little straighter. "let's see if I can put this in a way you might understand, because it's kinda, uh, complicated."

Shawn takes a second to find the words. It was difficult to explain to someone who's never felt what he's felt. As he searches his mind for an apt comparison.. it hits him.

"So, you're originally a Shadow, right?"

Cassiel is caught off guard. He wasn't expecting that to be brought up. He nods slowly, trying to force down the shame coiling around his body.

"I am."

"But you use a human form. Because that's what feels right, yeah?" Again, he nods. Shawn shows a semblance of a small smile.

"And you have a name you don't like to be called. You like Cassiel, and not the 'Z' one." Cassiel briefly tenses, fearing Shawn may actually say it. When he realizes he has no intention of doing so, his shoulders relax.

"Being a guy, and doing what I've done to look the way I do, is what feels right for me." Shawn feels his anxiety slipping away from his body. "I have a name I'm never called, because I'm just.. Shawn."

Silence. Shawn can almost see the gears in Cas's head turning as the man squints whilst processing his words. It's starting to compute.

"So you exist this way for comfort?"

"I mean, yeah? Pretending to be someone I'm not isn't the most comfortable thing in the world." Shawn scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

Cassiel hums.

"Thank you, Shawn." he can almost make out a half smile from Cassiel. That's unusual. Nonetheless, Shawn nods.

Before he can say 'you're welcome,' Cassiel has already slid out of the seat and left. Shawn blinks. Weird, he kinda misses talking with him already.

Shawn physically shakes his head to shake the thought away. He has to remind himself he doesn't like Cassiel, and there's always a chance he'll just lapse back into his usual ways - sooner, rather than later. Everyone does. He goes back to fiddling with his cards.

[princemick-archive]

Can you please make a list of the drivers and tell what you think about each of them. Only if you want to, but I am curious. 😽

...alright, okay, whole grid under the tab ya'll also if i say I hate someone rn and I start saying I love them tmmr dont be surprised my brain does that sometimes

charles: I genuinly like charles, seems like a good person w an insane amount of talent genuinly enjoy watching him drive a lot, one of my favs on the grid.

carlos: ......I am a culer. I do not like this man.

max: I, ugh, I love fanon max if that counts for fucking anything, irl max makes me uncomfortable but I get it, he has a weird charm but yeah just no. also dont really enhoy the way he races so that also doesn't make up for him being a dick.

checo: I dont have to much of an opinion on him but I like how respectful and kind he seems to be all the time. also incredible driver!

lando: listen ya'll okay..........I used to simp, I dont like him a lot rn, he just gives me bad vibes, he just feels to much like a 15 yr old gamer boy and I do not enjoy that. I like him w max and dan a lot tho

dan: BABIE BOOYYYYYYY. one of my favorite drivers on the grid, incredible driver, fantastic human. my favorite in my hyperfixactions are always the optimistic flirty lil bitch and that him, he is just so wonderful he makes me very !!!

lewis: king, one of the best to ever do it, style icon. yeah just, I mean its lewis, pretty high maintenaince man who gets what the fuck is going on in the world and isnt afraid to say it.

george: I dont like care about this man at all, he doesnt give me good or bad vibes, he exists, he looks like he wouldnt know what I meant if I would ask him to hold my drink as I go to the bathroom

esteban: noddle man who jsut seems genunly kind. I really like him, dont know to much abt him but the bit I do is just him seeminly being a good and kind person who just a lil dramatic and I love that for him

nando: stupid old slut man who I despise deeply (affectionate)

pierre: I hate how attracted I am to this man but hes an incredible driver and the way he carries himself is just, so hot. so uh, thumbs up.

yuki: I dont feel to much abt him but he seems wonderful and kind and I genuinly think hes an incredible driver and I hope he gets to show that more this season.

lance: no real opinon, rich boy, kinda shit driver, who doesn't seem like to like driving. eh. other people deserve that seat more.

seb: *holds gently* my beloved little idiot man I love you so much you stupid lil freak. he needs a haircut.

val: yes

guanyu: funky lil fashion man who goes zoom well. thumbs up.

nicky: look at lance opinion. Just like him a bit more because he genuinely seems to enjoy driving and is actually pretty okay when you look at his junior career.

alex: wonderful man! he is so good so soft so kind, I like him a lot he just gives off such good vibes.

kev: a whole man and a half whos completely fucking insane and exactly my kinda guy for that, love him so wonderful so supportive.

mick: I..........d-do u even want me to start. litteraly my favorite person on the grid for so so so many reasons. the way he holds himelf, the way he is socially aware the way he has so much pressure on him and is still able to have fun and live a life and do what he does and be kind and he so incredible, the way he cares so muhc about everyone on his team and helps out and makes sure everyones okay i just.....I love him but I need him to break and go mad schumi please and thank you.

alright, feel free to disagree or try and convince me otherwise in my asks im open for change unless its abt mick, if u dont like mick the fuck r u doing on my blog fr.

[russilton]

ngl, i also wouldn't want lewis to force himself to do his posts (although i know that this wasn't what the anon meant, it also makes me feel better to read his motivational rambles, because it means he had the emotional capacity to write them, which is good). i suppose we're all sensitive after he didn't give any sign of life for two months or so after abu dhabi and instead completely disappeared from the radar, especially since lewis is usually chronically online.

last time, i think it was a very needed mental health break, he's spoken about it at lenght and it did him good. sadly the following season decided to be pretty unkind and another test of faith. for all the patient things lewis said and for how extremely good every rare high felt, he obviously hated this season. on sunday all the said was how much he was looking forward to the end, the car was a disappointmet again, he wan't happy with the one stop strategy, the dnf happened. also, the whole seb thing clearly does a number on him and the emotions of that added to the general mess that his race on sunday was.

i guess him taking longer than 24h to post has always been a sign of him just taking longer to feel like he's able to but that's alright? it's not ad21 2.0. i don't think he's shell shocked or depressed or even angry anymore, i suppose he's just a bit tired and looking forward to his holiday. and i know that this isn't what anyone means when they worry about him being quiet for longer than usual, but guys, he doesn't owe us, right? like it's not his responsibility to keep up the social media presence every single day when he doesn't feel like it. which goes for every other person as well!!

(and shit haha sorry mark i rambled)

I think people get VERY over analytical with social media posts, and it pains me to say this, but you guys (not specifically you anon but the people who often come to me worried about x number of posts or x missed mention and so on) need to chill out somewhat.

He’s posted now, so y’all can go look at that if you want, but it always gives me a side eye to see folks go “it’s been 24 hrs” etc - guys, he’s probably busy. First free day in months, he probably put his phone down and did his own thing. It’s not always a big sign of the end or a deliberate choice. Life is not a structurally paced TV show. Sometimes I don’t come into tumblr for a day cause I have stuff going on that’s more important than tumblr. It’s not a sign of mental turmoil, I just got distracted.

All Lewis probably did was sleep for a decade after a tiring race, go out the next day to something he pre planned, and then the next day he’s back at work on the car. Occam’s razor and all, the simplest solution is probably the correct one. He’s not a social media influencer he’s a driver who happens to use social media. It’s probably not scheduled into his day.

Also, when I’m tired, the last thing I want to do is explain myself clearly and eloquently to others. I want a nap! Give the guy his metaphorical nap from PR and such. It’s something you can’t change by worrying about it.

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

Alright, look. Because of the truly exorbitant amount of Bucky/Sebastian Stan content I put on this blog I'm gonna make one post re: the most recent controversy because I feel it important to do so. Just bc I like him and the character he plays in the MCU does NOT mean I think he's immune to criticism. That said, reblogs and replies are turned off because I'm saying my one piece on the matter and have been having a string of real, genuine good days recently which even on meds doesn't happen often and I don't owe a single one of you on either side of this my mental health over a subject matter I really just don't want in my head any longer than it needs to be in there tbh

Also I'm doing this in bullet points bc that makes sense in my head and also am on mobile so can't put a read more on here so I'm sorry in advance for the wall of text. Without any further ado, let's unpack this.

Full disclosure: I am a 23 year old individual who did watch the series not knowing until after that it was made without Pamela's consent, only watched it bc Seb was in it, and was only tangentially aware of who the titular characters were (like I knew Baywatch and Motley Crüe and had heard Pamela's name before but like I knew nothing about any of it). I was born like 2 years after everything with the tape in question went down and really knew nothing about the situation with it. Thats not me trying to defend anything, I'm just laying everything out ahead of what I'm about to say.

So like most people at this point I read his insta post and I personally, GENUINELY think he did write it with the best of intentions. I don't think he was trying to be outwardly malicious or drag Pamela into it or invite harassment of her or anyone tbh. And like, dude got nominated for an Emmy, odds are he probably wrote it the midst of or coming off of a lot of excitement and probably wasn't thinking clearly. God knows I wouldn't be if I was in that situation

HOWEVER

This is NOT me excusing it as "well we all say dumb shit sometimes". Because that would be bad imo. Actors are not infallible or immune to criticism just because I like them imo. I'm currently going through a similar thing with my feelings on John Mulaney but that's a rant for another day and another blog.

Like I said, I don't think his intentions were anything other than good, and that he was trying to be genuine

That said I am a firm believer in the idea the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and that when you are a part of that you do need to own up to it.

His tagging Pamela (and Tommy for that matter, but for different reasons) was definitely a bad move, and the post overall read as extremely tone deaf. Like. Royally so.

And I definitely think the response to it, while a little harsh in some cases, isn't undeserved. What he said was a bad take and really poorly worded, and he needs to be called out

And I do hope he addresses it and apologizes in a meaningful way and does some introspection. But also I know there is a crowd that no matter what he does they'll say it's not good enough because there always is.

And that's NOT me saying every time a celebrity apologizes and people say it's not good enough it's undeserved (if I had a nickel for every Notes App Apology™️ one has made that was DEFINITELY not enough I could pay off my student loans)

And it's a valid take, people can do what they want. I don't expect to sway anybody.

But also I dunno. I don't think he's exempt or immune from criticism because he's famous or my celebrity crush or anything like that and I do think he needs to be held accountable for what he said and needs to address the backlash

But also he is a human being and human beings fuck up sometimes.

Both of these things can be true and not cancel out the other imo.

I do think the 'if you still support him you support abusers and seb needs to be blacklisted in Hollywood' takes are a little fuckin much honestly

But also the fans who are just sweeping this under the rug and dismissing it as 'everyone hating for no reason' also need to take a long hard look at it because what he said is kinda messed up seeing as he was talking about consent and exploitation whilst profiting off of a show made without consent about a victim of exploitation is Not Great

And like. You can like someone and acknowledge that they did a shit thing. These 2 things can coexist.

But also this isn't me trying to be some faux intellectual claiming moral superiority because I'm in the gray area or anything

I'm a Literally a 23 year old barely out of college person on the internet with limited life experience who likes the MCU and majored in theatre, I'm not going to pretend I'm some final authority or expert on this

I'm just one (1) person saying I see both sides but also maybe both sides need to calm down a bit

I know I'm just a drop in the ocean of discourse and I'm fine with that

Basically tl;dr: I think what Sebastian said and that he tagged Pamela was messed up and Hope he apologizes in a meaningful way but also know that means different things to different people, I am the farthest thing from an authority figure on the situation and just decided I wanted to say at least something based on the content of my blog.

I'm never sure how to end of of these but this is the end