#seb and mia forever

[sebandmia]

when life coincidentally imitates art 🥹

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

In all honesty... when was the last time Charles arrived for quali day in his own merch and not ferrari's? 👀👀

[mavrellover91]

Babies with Seb: Part one

Hey, guys sorry I have been MIA for wow months but life literally turned to shit and I have had to find my creativity again. I hope you enjoy my new series.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Female reader

Warning: Agnst, fluff.  Smut flashback:  P in V, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, guys). Dirty talk.     

Word count: 3806 (I may have gotton carried away) 

A/N: I give no permission for my work to be copied, translated and or posted anywhere else online.

Oh God, why, oh why did he have to be running in the park this morning? All I wanted was to go for a quick walk in Central Park before it got too hot in the summer sun, but I should have known that with my luck that he would be here. I just stand there as his steel blue eyes move down my body and land on my stomach. Fucking Sebastian Stan is staring at my huge pregnant stomach, thanks to the twins I am currently carrying. After staring at my belly for what seems like forever his eyes flick up to mine with so many questions in them. Fuck why does he have to look so fucking good all sweaty from his run? It has been almost four and a half months since we last saw each other after a night of hot drunk sex that changed my life.                      

 “Y/n…Umm hi”

“Hi Sebastian”

“Is it….” He stops himself from asking the question that he really wants to know as his eyes flick around our surroundings remembering that we are in a public park.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” I offer as I can see that he is uncomfortable about talking about this in the park. “Umm yeah sure, give me a minute” he tells me before running off to a group guys standing off to the side watching us. Fuck, great Don Saladino and their friends are watching us. This just adds another level to this nightmare. I’m not sure why I am so embarrassed by this whole situation I mean I did try to contact Sebastian when I found out I was pregnant but my only opinion was to DM him on Instagram, which I knew wasn’t the best way of contacting him but he didn’t leave me with no other choice. I mean was a drunk one-night stand and I knew that going in. I was lost in my head I did not even notice that Sebastian had run back to me until he was in front of me “lead the way” he tells me as he sweeps his arm in front of me. We start walking back to the closest opening of the park.

 I fight the urge to look around us, to see if anyone is watching us. As we reach the road my luck seems to change as a taxi pulls up and lets a couple out, Sebastian walks ahead and catches the driver's attention before he could pull away. Sebastian holds the door open as I slide in. After climbing in himself I give the driver my address and he takes off. We sit in uncomfortable silence as the driver weaves his way through traffic to get to my place. The driver tried to break the awkwardness by asking how far along I am and went I say four and a half months I feel Sebastian shift in his seat. The driver not understanding how awkward the two of us are being goes on about his wife’s pregnancy. I thank God went we put up to my apartment. Sebastian pulls out his wallet and pays the driver, before opening the door once he gets out, he holds out his hand to help me out. We walk into my building and the elevator. Once we are in my apartment, we just stand there looking at each other waiting for the other one to start talking. “Is it mine?” he asks.

 Wow, I want to get mad at him for asking, even though I knew the question was coming, did he really think that I was that big of a slut that I would jump from one guy to another in a short amount of time? God, I remember telling him that I do not normally do this type of thing. God, I hate one-night stands, just the thought of them leaves me feeling gross. “Yes, they are yours,” I tell him in a tight voice trying hard not to let my emotions get the best of me. “They?” he asks, “twins” I reply. I watch his face as he realises that he is not only going to have one baby with a stranger but two. As if his legs give out on him, he sits down on my couch, the same couch these babies could have been conceived on. God just thinking about it makes me wet stupid pregnancy hormones.

 Remembering how we could keep our hands off each other in the Uber back to mine from the bar, how after closing my front door he pushed me up against it attacking my lips as if he wanted to devour me. I remember how I placed my hands on his chest pushing him back until the back of his legs hit the couch, before giving him one last kiss and pushing him back so that he falls onto the couch. Then standing in between his legs I grabbed the bottom of my dress and pulled it up over my head, letting it fall to the ground leaving me in just my panties. His hands then move to my hips pulling me onto his lap. As I straddled his thighs, I start started rubbing my hot wet core against his hard cock through the layer of our clothes, as his mouth reclaimed mine. I then reached between our bodies, pulled his shirt off and ran my hands over his abs to his pants. Undo them and slide my hand between his body and the waistband of his boxers to wrap my hand around his thick length.

  I remember him moaning into my mouth as I pulled his cock out and started pumping my hand up and down the length of his cock. As his hands roamed over my body down my stomach to my pussy. Pushing my panties to one side he moved me closer to his body. Holding his cock in my hand I moved it up and down my slit collecting my juices before guiding it to my hole. We moaned into each other’s mouths as I slid down his cock until he filled and stretched my pussy. I remembered how I bounced up and down his length as he rubbed my clit. I remember him whispering in my ear how good my pussy felt around his cock, how I was his good girl, how I was his dirty little slut and how he was going to fuck me until I milked him dry. I remember him moaning that he was close and for me to be his good girl and cream on his cock and how as if I were waiting for his permission, I came so hard as he bucked up into me and painted my walls with his cum.

 Shaking my head to get rid of the memories of us together, I walked over to the fridge and grab the ultrasound I had done last week. While at the fridge I grab myself a bottle of water “would you like something to drink” I asked Sebastian. He brought his head up a looked at me for the first time since he sat down, making me wonder if he was also reliving what happened that night. Looking at the bottle of water in my hand he replied, “water would be lovely, thank you.” Grabbing another bottle, I walked back to the couch and sat down next to him placing both the water bottle and the ultrasound photos down in front of him. Sebastian reached for the ultrasound and picked it up looking at them. “How far along are you,” he asked quietly not taking his eyes off the pictures of our children. Swallowing the lump of emotions swelling up inside my chest as a watched staring at the photos “18 weeks and 4 days”. He then looks into my eyes and then down at my bump with longing in his eyes. I grab his hand and place it on my stomach where one of the babies was kicking. His eyes widened and then start to water as he feels the little feet press against my skin. “Wow, that’s amazing.”

 We stay like this for a good 10 minutes laughing and smiling at each other as I move his hand around my stomach as the babies kick. “I must ask...” he says shyly as if he doesn’t want to ruin the moment and risk me being mad “why didn’t you try and contact me?” Moving away from him trying hard not to get mad “I did, I DMed you through Instagram as you didn’t leave a number or anything” I reply. I watch his face as he works through all his emotions. “I do not go on Instagram often and I do not read any of the DMs. Fuck Y/n I am sorry I left the way I did. I should have given you my number I mean we had unprotected sex three times that night” “four” “what?” “We had unprotected sex four times. Once on the couch, twice in my bed and then in the shower,” I tell him. He stares at me and smiles as he remembers that night “your right four times” he starts to laugh. “God that was the best night of my life, I lost count of how many times I came inside you.” “The best night of your life?” I ask in a small shy voice “Yes, baby! The best night of my life and could not stop thinking about you. Hoping we would run into each other again. I even went back to the bar the following weekend hoping that you would be there. God, I wish I had gotten your number. I could have been there from the start instead of missing four months of your pregnancy” I just stare at him not sure what to say or do.

  Tears start rolling down my cheeks “oh baby, please don’t cry” he tells me as he wraps me in his arms bring a hand up to my face wiping the tears off my cheeks “if you will let me, I want to be part of your and our children’s lives. I want to hold your hand at your appointments, I want to help build and decorate the nursery. I want to watch our children come into this world. I want to hold you as you sleep, and most importantly I want to protect all three of you from the horrors of the world.” After he stops talking all I can do is stare at him not sure what to say. I want to jump into his lap, let him hold me and let him be there for me and our children but I am scared to let him in only for him to realise that we are more than he bargained for and then leave me to be a single parent. “Can we take it slow? I mean not too slow?” I say as a wave my hand around my stomach. “I need time and I need you to show me that will stick around and that you not just saying these things in the heat of the moment. You just found out that you are not only going to be a father but a father of twins. You need time to wrap your head around that” I can see in his eyes that he wants to argue but I stop him by saying “I have my 20-week scan in two weeks. Take these two weeks to think about what you want and if that is us come to my appointment and we can figure it out from there.”

  I slide my phone out of my pocket, unlock it, and place it in his hand “put your number in here and I will text you with the details of the appointment” I watch as he puts his number in my phone and then texts himself. “I know you think you want us now but please do take this time to think about what it is that you want. Having children is life-changing, I took time to think about if being a parent is what I wanted, and you also need time as well.” I get up and walk to the door, he also gets up and follows me “I will take the time you think I need and think about everything but know this I will be at that scan, and I will be by your side” he says as he pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead. As I close the door behind him, I really do hope he means what he said. I text him the appointment details and hope he will show up. He replies see you on the 10th beautiful. Sighing I cannot help but wonder if I just fucked up my only chance of having a family for my children. “I really hope daddy is going to show up,” I tell my children as I rub my hands over my bump.

 Two weeks later I am sitting in the waiting room at my doctor's clinic watching the door hoping Sebastian walks through those doors and is ready to be a father. We texted on and off the last couple of weeks with him checking up on me and the twins. We talked about work and how I was handling working as a PreK teacher. We talked about our families, and how I was handling being so far away from them. It seemed like he did care about me and did want to be part of my life. As the minute until my appointment ticked by, I became increasingly worried that he was not going to show up and that I would once again be doing this all by myself. As the nurse called my name and get up and walk over to her, the front doors burst open and Sebastian runs up to me “I am so sorry I am late, my meeting ran late and then I was stuck in traffic. Please tell me I did not miss it?”

  I stare at him with a big smile on my face pulling him into my arms, telling him “No Seb you are right on time.” The nurse looks a little shocked at who is standing in front of her rubbing his hands over my belly and arms. Pulling herself together she directs us to an exam room where she weights me, takes my blood, asks for a urine sample, and tells us to wait for the doctor. After peeing in the cup and leaving it on the little shelf in the bathroom. I sit down next to Sebastian and just look at him. He is here, he is here sitting next to me as we wait to see our babies. Tears start rolling down my face “Oh y/n baby please do not cry. I cannot stand to see you cry” he tells me as he wraps me up in his arms “their happy tears Seb, I am so happy that you are here. I thought that you decided that you did not want us when you were not here before the appointment” I cry into his shirt leaving tear strains on the front of it.

 “Oh, baby there is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you. I am sorry I could not be here earlier like I wanted to be, but this morning was a shit show meeting with my management team and a director for this new project that we have been trying off the ground” he starts rambling on nervously. “It’s ok you are here now and that is all that matters,” I tell him as I lean into him placing my hand on his cheek. Turning his face and pressing his lips into my palm “wild horses couldn’t keep me away.” He places one of his hands on my neck and the other behind my head bringing his lips to mine as he kisses me lightly as if the check my reaction just as I open my lips to deepen the kiss the door opens as the doctor walks in “oh so sorry I did knock and through I heard you say yes” she says looking a little bit flustered. She did hear me say yes but not to her but to Sebastian’s lips being on mine.

 Pushing aside any embarrassment we were feeling Doctor St James introduced herself to Sebastian “Hi I am Doctor St James, and you must be the dad. Nice to meet you” looking proud Sebastian replies “Yes, I am dad, Sebastian Stan. Nice to meet you too” Doctor St James looked at me probably remembering how I told her that the father was not in the picture but being the professional that she is, she pushed that to the side and starts asking all the normal questions. “So, Y/n how have you been feeling? Do you still have any morning sickness? No pain or discomfort? No more bleeding?” At the bleeding comment, Sebastian looks at me worried. “No more bleeding since that time when I first found out I was having twins at 8 weeks,” I tell them reassuring Sebastian that everything is fine “I am still a little nauseous in the mornings but no vomiting for the last two weeks. Here is hoping it stays that way, I really hate vomiting. A little bit of discomfort in my hips and ribs but I am guessing that is because the babies are growing putting pressure on them.” As I answer all her questions I grab Sebastian’s hand and give it a little squeeze reassuring him that we are ok.

  “That is great to hear about the bleeding. If it does happen again, please do not hesitate to call me. I am sorry to say that with twins the vomiting and nausea does stay around a bit longer than a singleton pregnancy due to extra hormones but hopefully you are on the other side of the morning sickness. As for the discomfort in your hips and ribs, you are right about the babies putting pressure on them. The discomfort in your hips could also be from your pelvis starting to move getting ready for you to give birth.” She asks me some more questions and then asks if we had any questions. To which I look at Sebastian and then ask “I have a question about sex” Sebastian quickly turns and looks at me slightly embarrassed.

 Doctor St James smiles at me “what’s your question Y/n?” “Those are silly questions but is it safe to be having sex? Can sex hurt the babies? When having sex should we be using protection?” Doctor St James smiles at us “let me start off with there are no silly questions Y/n. Ok, it is safe for you to have sex as long as you are comfortable and have no pain however when you get into the later stages of your pregnancy there will come a time when I advise you to stop having sex to avoid going into preterm labour but as you get to that point I will let you know. Sex will not hurt the babies as the penis can not get passed the cervix. As protection, I recommend that my mother’s use it if they are having sex with more than one person or there is a chance of STIs. I hope that answers any of your questions. Please remember if have any more later do not hesitate to contact us. Ok, are we ready to see our babies? Are we finding out the sex of the babies today?” “Yes,” Sebastian and I answer at the same time.

 We look at each other and smile. Hopping up onto the exam table and lifting my top over my belly, the doctor quickly takes measurements and pushes on my stomach. “Ok let us get to the fun stuff and have a look at these babies of yours,” Doctor St James tells us as she moves the ultrasound machine closer to the table “all right Y/n you know the drill this might be cold,” she tells me as she pours the gel onto my stomach “yup that’s cold” I laugh. Hold out my hand for Sebastian who brings his chair closer to the table and takes my hand. “Ok, here’s baby A” Doctor St James tells us as she pushed buttons on the machine and the most magical sound in the world fills the room, the sound of one of our babies’ heartbeat. She moves the wand around taking measurements and pictures as we watch the screen. I turn my head and look at Sebastian who cannot take his eyes off the screen, watching the baby on the screen with tears pouring down his cheeks. After a couple of minutes, Doctor St James moves the wand around to find the second baby. “There you are” she exclaims when she finds baby B “baby B wanted to play hide and seek today” she laughed at her joke. Once again, the heartbeat fills the room making Sebastian and I give each other watery smiles.

 After she finished taking all the measurements and photos, she needs she then turns to us “are you guys ready to find out what you are having?”  “Yes” I exclaim “Ok baby A is a boy and baby B is a girl, congratulations you're going to have one of each” the doctor leaves us to have a moment to ourselves tell us that she will have pictures printed off for us when we are ready. As I wipe the gel off my belly and pull down my top, I have tears running down my face. Once my top is in place Sebastian helps me to sit up and pulls me into his arms and kisses me “God Y/n that was unbelievable hearing our babies’ heartbeats was magical. I can not thank you enough for this beautiful gift and I cannot wait to meet them. God a little girl who is going to look just like her mama” “and a little boy who is as handsome as his daddy” I finish for him. “Let’s get out of here and back to your place so we can talk and celebrate,” Sebastian tells me as he holds out his hand and opens the door.

 “Let’s go home,” I tell him I take his hand and let him lead me out to the front deck where we get our ultrasound photos and head out to his car. As I used Uber to get to the appointment I hop in the front seat of his car and we head back to my place, hopefully, soon we will have a place together to call home.

[morangirly]

Hello again!! i present you my Nurse Ann, not in sexy nurse uniform, but as a nurse!! duuh, my headcannons now about Nurse Ann lore: 𖧹 Dr Sebs once liked Frank Stein..... lolol 𖧹 She actually covers herself with 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 + that wig that covers her eyes 𖧹 She wants to be a doctor to be better than Dr Sebs because we love that study determination era on anyone tbh i might draw her again on black uniform and a black chainsaw, what are your opinions about this? im probably gonna do Nina Hopkins now!! BRIEF STORY OF NURSE ANN I BASED OFF: - Ann Lusen Mia was a nurse, she dated Doctor Sebastian, both wanted to be married forever, later to find out Sebastian had several body parts in his house, he started sewing parts of the other bodies into Ann, which later he askes Ann to do the same to him, so both can live forever, and together. But Ann kills him with a chainsaw. Later on she started wearing this wig that hid her right eye and clothes that hid her scars, then continued to work as a nurse. Fin click the <3 !!

[cnshwk]

I swear I cried so much at the end😭mia & seb forever mine

just watched “la la land” and damn WHAT A MOVIE

[actualhumansunshine]

not these people saying he looks miserable when around her? mans literally sounds so happy everytime he mentions their relationship. have we forgotten about the love angels? how she somehow made lockdown simpler for him? why can't these people just accept the fact that he takes her to bed and not them. let my man be happy for goodness sake.

also the fact that he LITERALLY defended himself (and by extension her!!) the first time paps came out of him looking 'miserable' while they were together??????

[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 2x8: the one I’ve been waiting for

Last week watching the new HSMTMTS was the last thing I did before going to bed (and let me tell you, I almost couldn’t sleep that night), but now I’m starting my day with it. I’m having trouble breathing just thinking about everything that could possibly lie ahead. I don’t think I’m ready, but I also can’t wait a second longer. So let’s dive right in!

Ahhh we got Big Red doing the recap! We’re off to a strong start, I see.

Ok, so I don’t know which is funnier (objectively): Reddy calling Antoine ‘Napoleon’ or the ‘zat man looks ridiculous’ line delivery -- I mean, I do not condone Antoine’s behaviour when he said that line, but ABF makes impertinence sound funny. Still, ‘Napoleon over here’ is my new favourite thing to call Antoine.

I am absolutely loving Miss Jenn in this scene (’when they go low, we sing high’, anyone), but why’s she threatening my Sebby? She has no right.

Ahhhhhhhh we’re getting the Gaston scene! I mean, of course I knew that, but I still don’t think I’m ready for the sheer awesomeness...

Ok, things are awkward between Ashlyn and her Biggie (see, I noticed she calls him that and that’s why I chose to call him Reddy instead)... hope they’ll be fine though. I know what they have is stronger than some so-called French bloke trying to come between them.

I... forgive me, I need to take 5... the Gaston number is a thousand times better with the choreography! Big Red performing his heart out, EJ making Gaston look effortless just like he did in the audition, juggling those eggs, and then the dancers... glorious, indeed.

‘Keep our heads down and our chins up’ ... and Seb trying to physically do it... adorable! But why is Miss Jenn being so harsh to him today? I don’t like that.

Ok, so I’m happy for Nini (or is it NIna?) and I’m happy for Olivia, but I just don’t seem to be able to get invested in her, either in the show or in real life. I don’t know why, but that’s just how I feel. To each their own, I always say.

EJ making the Career Day announcement in the middle of Ricky and Nini’s conversation is just... a choice. An interesting choice on the part of whoever wrote it.

Yikes, Ricky! What is it with guys and violating Nini’s phone’s privacy?

Ok, so I was an advocate for ‘EJ and Gina emphatically as friends’, but I think I’m sold on them romantically. It’s kind of hard for me here -- as an aro, I’m uncomfortable with the ‘everything evolves into romance and revolves around romance’ approach, but as an unapologetic shipper, I think this episode is going to shatter my heart and then heal it and then shatter it again.

‘How many of you are familiar with the phrase “Seize the day”?’ Um, yeah, I love Newsies! You know, for someone who has never seen it and has only heard a couple of songs from it... where was I?

Ooh, we’re getting Jennzara content! After all that ‘Zacky Roy’ action, I’m ready for this.

And here, Carlos struggling to make the part of Chip sound good just goes to prove that this part is too small for Sebby! You don’t just go from Sharpay to Chip like that. I mean, I kind of see it... Seb’s got a Chip-worthy smile; but at the end of the day, Chip hasn’t got a Seb-worthy song, nay, showstopping number.

I won’t lie, seeing Big Red give Ricky the treatment he’s been getting from him was low-key (high-key) satisfying. But I can’t even tell you why I’m suddenly starting to empathise with Ricky here. Still, Reddy is right - Ricky’s been here before. Or if I might quote Carlos here, ‘Is this Mamma Mia 2, cos here we go again!’

You know, Ashlyn is right. Ignore the test. Career tests are bull. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve got the most ridiculous results on these things... though I guess ‘mediator’ isn’t so far removed from ‘translator’, which is my dream job that I’m working towards. I guess career tests are like horoscopes and prophecies -- they’re not meant to be taken literally, but require reading between the lines.

‘I live to serve’ Oh Reddy, don’t be like that! I mean, I know working in the service industry is one thing and being a doormat is another, but right now it just kind of seems like he’s equating them in his mind and putting himself down because of it, and he’s being outwardly cheerful for the benefit of others. Maybe it’s not just Ricky who needs therapy, and Reddy definitely needs a LeFou of his own, to cheer him up and lift his spirits, and remind him how brilliant he is.

You know, I think both Kourtney and Howie make some valid points here... but I’m afraid I’m with Kourtney on this one. It’s difficult to trust someone if you find out there’s a whole side of them you didn’t know.

Gosh, I’m so done with Rini. Even Carlos has an inside voice compared to what these two are demonstrating right now. How ‘main character syndrome’ of them is it to make a scene in the middle of the Slices?

Ohhhhh, Paris... gosh, why does everyone keep saying the wrong things with the best intentions in this episode? It’s frustrating.

Awwww, I can’t with these two! ‘The only other thing that makes me happy is you.’ But then he’s like ‘maybe it’s not enough’, and I just got a flashback of how he once told her ‘you are enough’... so I say, so are you, Reddy! You are enough, and Ash is just trying to do the best for you, but she’s kind of missing the point... but you are enough. And she knows it.

Awwww! S1 Mr Mazzara would never have. But I love this new version of him.

Ohh, the Duke talk! Ok, I don’t know how to feel about these two. I just want them to be close, always.

Is it just me, or does Sofia’s acting in this scene give off Cyrus’ coming out scene vibes?

And here we go again with the flashbacks. Nini and Ricky in the treehouse remind me how I felt during the ‘I love you’ scene last season... except this one is not the start of something new (as on-the-nose as that sounds), it’s the end of something old. It’s heartbreaking, but I think it’s necessary. And I think they both know it. If it’s meant to be, they’ll find their way back to each other -- when they’re both more mature. They need to grow separately for the time being.

Oh my, oh my! It’s the ‘If I Can’t Love Her’ scene, and it hits even harder than it might have, because this is actually the first time I’m ever hearing this song. Fan of BATB as I am, I am just not familiar with the stage version of it and so there are some songs I just have never heard. But they hit hard. 

Aww, Ashlyn with the Slices shirt! And EJ declining Duke after that was the only future he could see for himself... And Big Red being the absolute best, most supportive friend always and forever, whatever is going on in his own life... if I had a friend like him, I’d never let them go. And I’d never let them forget how amazing they are.

Ok, but I’m crying... I have been since the song started, and I think I will be for a long time after it’s ended... this episode really did break my heart. But it healed it, too. How weird is that? This was a ride. Enough to last me the week, I hope.

[jobean12-blog]

Joooooo! My beautiful friend. I have been MIA from sending you a sweet message but I'm here!! Happy Friday!! How has your week been? Hope you've not been working too hard. I love you, enjoy the rest of your day and have an awesome weekend. HUGS!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Two. More. Weeks!!! 😍😍.

P.S. I loved the little Sam drabble yesterday 🥰. Then again I love everything you write. Okay byeeee ❤❤

You are a ray of sunshine and I love you! Thank you for thinking of me, supporting me and just being your amazing self and my friend❤️ this brightened my day as they always do! I hope you have a beautiful rest of your Friday!!! It’s balls cold and crazy windy here today in the city and I have to walk Chew dog hahahaha nooooo! But we are going! She loves her walk! And I’ll take Seb as my assistant. He can be my chair! Hehehehe LOVE AND HUGS FOREVER❤️❤️

[saliciouscelery]

it's called fiction for that reason. i mean yes, we need more black characters and representations, i get your argument.

but that doesn't necessarily mean you'd come after emma stone and ryan gosling for being white.

the way they act, i can't give tiny rabbit's ass what their skin colour is. all i know is la la land would be so much less if the casting team picked literally anyone else but them.

for me, that movie brings summer and romance and starcrossed cannot be spelled without mia and seb.

sometimes, even when you love somebody, you have to choose yourself and your career above them.

mia could have been with him forever while he was struck and passionless, but she chose his happiness over hers. THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT

THEY COULD BE GODDAMN HAPPY, but she didn't want a halfhearted ending, and he simply understood that. that one look across the hall says everything. they could but they didn't. they broke the stereotype : "oh you're in love? you must do crazy stupid things!" And they were still, in the end, a little bit in love. THAT'S THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT.

Watching La La Land in 2024 crazy to me becos I had to watch Emma Stone play the female lead when she dances to "jazz" like a chicken who just had its head chopped off, while Sonoya Mizuno who's literally a professional ballet dancer play a supportive roomate character. I had to watch this White girl struggle to make it in Hollywood. I had to watch Ryan Gosling, a White man, posture himself as a superior and more authentic jazz musician than the Black "sell-out" who is played by the EGOT winning singer-songwriter-record producer John Legend. I had to watch this White dude worry about jazz being gentrified. I had to believe that these two people are the leads of a musical film about jazz and making it in Hollywood, Damien Chazelle you son of a bitch.

[mnthpprt]

Chapter 26: Buongiorno Principessa

I wake up to Lumière scratching the window. I glance at Leonardo. He is still asleep. I carefully untangle my body from his and tip toe across the room to let the cat in. He meows at me and bumps his head against my arm from the table, asking for attention, so I pick him up and carry him to the bed.

The second I let go of him, he starts purring and curls up next to Leonardo’s face. I watch, amused, as Lumière begins to lick the man’s hair, which gets caught in his rough tongue, causing him to jolt back and try to push it away with his paws.

My laughter wakes up Leonardo, whose eyes flutter open, and he sleepily pulls me onto the bed and holds me tight against him. Displeased, the cat jumps down and lays on the pile of my clothes on the floor, earning another chuckle from me.

“Buongiorno, cara mia,” Leonardo purrs, kissing my neck. I turn my head for my lips to meet his.

“Good morning,” I smile. “I wish I could stay, but I’m late for work.”

“Nooo,” he frowns. “But you feel so good, principessa. Please don’t go.”

I softly pry his arms from my body and pull away before giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Sebastian won’t be happy. Besides, I’ll see you later. You never seem to have any trouble finding me.” I turn to my clothes on the floor, which Lumière has turned into his new bed. “Sorry, little guy, but I need to take that. Go find another bed.” The cat stares at me for a few seconds, as if assessing if I am being serious, but eventually gives in, leaping away with a annoyed meow. “Thank you.”

While the clothes on the top have dried overnight, the bottom of the pile is still damp. And now they are covered in cat hair, too. I remember it’s laundry day, so I better take these to Sebastian before he starts.

Leonardo gets up and pulls me into a kiss before I reach the door. He’s making it harder for me to leave, but my will pulls through. I step out onto the hallway wearing nothing but his large shirt and my shoes from last night, carrying the rest of my clothes in my arms.

“You’re late,” Sebastian states when I walk into the kitchen, not looking up from the coffee he’s pouring. “I went to wake you up, but you weren’t in your... Oh.”

He raises his eyebrows when he finally sees me. I casually throw the clothes into a basket and take the coffee from his hands, sniffing the steam that rises from the cup. Sweet caffeinated ambrosia.

“Is that... Is that Leonardo’s?” he stammers. My gaze falls to the tiled floor as I blush. “Oh my god! Tell me everything!” He scrambles to pull a small notebook from his back pocket, along with a ballpoint pen, getting ready to write.

“I’m not telling you shit about my sex life, you weirdo!” I scoff, mockingly offended, but then a smile creeps onto my lips. I take a cautious sip of the hot drink and twirl away from him, giggling. “It was great. That’s it, Seb. That’s all you’re getting.”

“How long have you two been a thing?” he asks. I climb onto the counter, innocently dangling my legs in the air.

“About a week. But we didn’t... you know... until last night.”

“I can’t believe I missed that,” Sebastian mutters. To be fair, I don’t know how he didn’t notice earlier, either. He knows everything that goes on here. He scribbles something in his notebook before putting it away and handing me a muffin. “Here, try this.”

I bite into it without question, and let out a little pleasured noise. It’s blueberry, my favorite.

“This is bomb,” I announce with my mouth full, pointing at the muffin. I wash it down with some coffee before I continue. “Sebastian, I fucking love you. This is officially the best thing I have ever eaten.”

“You’re welcome,” he chuckles smugly.

I keep eating as he returns to his task. After I finish, I jump down from the counter and set the empty cup by the sink.

“I need a bath. Gotta go,” I say, blowing him a kiss from the door.

Later that day, Dazai comes to find me in the garden. When I see him approach, I stop trimming the hedge and climb off the step ladder, leaving the large shears on top of it.

“Good afternoon, Akari-san!” he greets me cheerfully. As usual, he calls me by a completely random name. I have given up on trying to correct him.

“Dazai,” I smile. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I can’t seem to finish this poem, but that’s not why I came. Perhaps some other time.”

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“Le Comte is waiting for you in his study,” he says. Weird, I can’t think of what he might want to talk about. Maybe he found out about me and Leonardo.

I thank Dazai and head inside. Before I knock on the door, I hear le Comte humming a melody inside. I feel bad for interrupting. His voice is angelical.

“You wanted to see me?” I say when he invites me in, gesturing for me to sit. There is a tray with two empty cups and a tea pot on the small table by the hourglass. I get comfortable on one of the armchairs, crossing my legs.

“Tea?” he offers, and I accept. He pours some in a cup and hands it to me. “I realized we haven’t spent much time together during your stay. I would be a terrible host, were I not to spend some time with my guest, don’t you think, ma chérie?”

“I guess,” I shrug, still unsure of where this is going. He definitely knows. “Is there anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Well, I am aware of your and Leonardo’s relationship.” There it goes, straight to the point. “I am happy for you two. My dear friend certainly seems brighter.”

Oh, thank God.

“I am glad to hear that, Comte,” I smile. “I must admit I was nervous about you finding out. It’s a bit of a... complicated situation, and I don’t really know how to go about it, to be honest.”

He thoughtfully sips his tea before speaking again.

“Anaïs, do you wish to stay here?” I don’t answer. Instead, I bite my lip, pondering my options. “I would like you to know that you are welcome to stay at the mansion for as long as you like. However, once you go through that door, it will disappear from your time, and you will never be able to access it again.”

“I don’t know,” I finally sigh. “That means I don’t necessarily have to go back in a week, right? It will open again?” He nods. “I do want to stay longer, but... Forever is a big commitment. There are people that I care about in 2020, but I have come to care about you all, too. I know I would miss you if I left.”

Le Comte sighs, a sad smile on his lips.

“I dread the day that you do,” he says softly, “but the choice is yours and yours only.”

There is something in his voice that I can’t quite place. It sounds like regret, but there is more to it, somehow. Damn these pureblood vampires, always so hard to read.

“I guess... I’ll have to wait and see,” I conclude.

“There is no rush for you to decide, ma chérie. How was the exhibition yesterday?” he changes the topic, his charming smile returning to his face. “It is a shame that I could not attend.”

“It was great. Theo has so much talent for these things, all the pieces displayed were amazing. And Vincent’s paintings were beautiful, as always,” I recall, thinking of the portrait he made of me. “Oh, and I met Émile Zola! He was there too, and he loved it. We even talked for a bit, but I feel a little bad. The poor man doesn’t know what’s coming.”

Le Comte tilts his head, a curious expression on his face.

“What do you man, ma chérie?”

“J’Accuse,” I simply answer. He nods, understanding exactly what I am referring to. Four years from now, Zola will publish an open letter in a newspaper, denouncing the antisemitism and injustice of those involved in the Dreyfus affair. He will be brought to trial and sentenced for libel after a long and messy judicial process.

We discuss that for a while, during which I finish my tea. He serves me more, and I thank him, before he asks me about my life in the 21st century.

“I would like to know more about you,” he says. “I saw you roller skate. Competitively?”

“I used to, but I quit when I began working.”

“You are a chemist specialized in antiques conservation, correct?” I nod. He chuckles. “Ah, I was wondering what you spend so much time researching in the library. Leonardo told me.”

“Yeah, he’s been helping me with it,” I smile. “I like to borrow his genius every once in a while.”

“What about your family?” he asks, and immediately apologizes when he sees my face change. “Forgive me, I do not mean to pry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” I reassure him. “My family is complicated, at best. My sister is the only one I keep in contact with, but we don’t talk much. She just started university this year, in Milan. She would swoon if she saw the dresses you’ve given me,” I chuckle. “She studies fashion design.”

Though our relationship is strained, I am as proud of her as an older sister can be. Despite the fallout with our parents taking its toll, I will always care deeply about her, and I must admit that seeing Vincent and Theo be so close makes me a bit jealous. 

“My friends are a different story, though,” I continue, unprompted. “I guess you could call them my chosen family.” Le Comte listens attentively, clearly wanting to know more. “There’s Jack and Carlos back in London. I shared a flat with them as a student, and we are still very close. Then there’s Mila.” I look up at le Comte, suddenly remembering something. “I’ve been meaning to ask, if I go through the door would I return to the same time that I left? Or will it be a month later?”

“It’s hard to tell,” he answers thoughtfully. “When I use it, time passes on the other side, too. But as a pureblood vampire, I can come and go as I please, within the door’s rules, of course. A human going through it is something unprecedented, so I truly do not know what would happen.”

“Damnit,” I mutter. When he gives me a questioning look, I explain. “You know, when I came here? I was supposed to pick up Mila at the airport the day after. She’s going to be furious when I get back.”

“Pick her up?” he asks. “I was under the impression that you were just visiting Paris.”

“Well, yeah, but I come so often I practically live here,” I laugh before sipping my tea. Le Comte mimics me, waiting for me to keep talking. “Mila is my oldest friend. She’s French, but I met her in my hometown when her father worked there for a few years. She lives in Montparnasse now. She had to travel somewhere right before I got here, so she left me her car and the keys to her apartment, which I was going to stay in anyway. Hence, well, me picking her up when she came back from... New Zealand, I think it was? I have no clue,” I conclude with a chuckle.

“She sounds like an interesting person,” le Comte chimes in. I laugh.

“She is. I think you would like her.” 

[theartofimagining13]

I owe you all a big apology.

I once promised myself I wouldn’t leave this blog without saying a thing, but unfortunately, that’s exactly what I did. Somehow, unintentionally though. But I know you guys didn’t deserve that from me. 

So I apologize. Especially to those reading “HEIRS” because it’s taking forever when there’s only 2 chapters left. 

But allow me to explain myself.

For the last 5 or 6 months, I’ve been truly struggling to keep up with this page because i’m busy and cannot seem to squeeze Tumblr into my daily routine anyway. Between work, working out, and only one day off which is when I go out and decompress, I’ve just pushed Tumblr and even my writing away. Because by the time I go to bed and try turning on my laptop, i’m just too exhausted and cannot keep my eyes open. I don’t have the strength to write, i swear to God. And i sooo want to. I mean i must finish HEIRS for fuck’s sake. And it’s all in my head. Just wish it would write itself.

To make things worse, there’s this other big and complicated distraction pushing 40 and intensely hitting on me. And let’s face it, I deserve that distraction. It’s nice. Hmm... not its complexity though. But let’s not talk about that too much, let’s just say I must re-connect with myself and my hobbies. We all need breaks and I’ve had this blog since 2015 so it was also not that bad to be gone for a month but I usually plan my breaks. This one i just Houdini-ed the shit out. An Irish Goodbye. And that’s not fair to you.

But let’s be honest. The guys (Tom, Seb, etc) have been so quiet lately. Tom’s literally been MIA for MONTHS now. (You should talk, Arely.)  So that doesn’t help the inspiration either.

Trust me when I say I’ve missed you all, I’ve missed the blog, and WRITING. And I really must figure out how to continue.

I’m sorry I made some of you think that i was dead. Or had you worried. Those who follow me on Instagram know I wasn’t but even there I take ages to post sometimes.

Anyway. I’m sure you guys will pull me back in. I need you all in my life. My writing’s soooo rusty. It needs to get back in shape. Hopefully I’ll manage to do something about it.

Thank you for sticking around.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for the messages.

Let us try again, shall we?

Love you all.

Love & art. 

~A.Wölf.

[ru-wo]

MÃI MÃI LÀ BAO LÂU?

Có lẽ, trong cuộc sống này, chúng ta không thường dùng "mãi mãi" cho nhiều trường hợp. Thế nhưng, với tình yêu, "mãi mãi" vẫn là gam từ tuyệt đẹp, nó mang đến cho ta xúc cảm ngất ngây, hạnh phúc tràn đầy, nhưng đôi khi là sự nghi vấn đi kèm nghi ngờ, hay sự chối gạt đi kèm không coi trọng. Đặc biệt cho những ai đã chịu tổn thương trong tình yêu, những ai sống thực tế và thực dụng, những ai không thường tin vào lời mật ngọt chốn đầu môi hay cho những ai vin vào định nghĩa vô thường của cuộc sống. Trên đời này, có gì là vĩnh cửu?

Trong tác phẩm "Alice ở xứ sở thần tiên", tôi vẫn còn nhớ cuộc hội thoại này:

Alice: "Mãi mãi là bao lâu?" (How long is forever?)

Thỏ Trắng: "Đôi khi, chỉ một giây." (Sometimes, just one second)

Thế nhưng, bạn có thể tin vào "mãi mãi". Ta có thể tin vào mãi mãi không bởi vì ta ngây thơ và lãng mạn cực đoan, không phải ta dối lòng hay cố chấp, mà vì ta tin "mãi mãi" với niềm tôn trọng tối đa và sự tin tưởng tuyệt đối dành cho người mình yêu. Không phải vì họ hoàn hảo, không phải vì họ tựa như bậc thánh nhân, không phải họ là thứ gì đó cao xa mà loài người bình thường không thể với tới, mà họ chính là họ. Họ chính là con người của họ và họ biết mình là ai khi anh thốt ra hai từ "mãi mãi": Anh yêu em mãi mãi. Anh yêu em, mãi mãi.

Không kỳ vọng vào hai từ "mãi mãi", cũng không tôn thờ nó như một lời hứa trọn kiếp con người, mà là trân quý nó và coi đó là biểu hiện của tình yêu thực sự, trong thời điểm người ta thốt ra nó và hành động người ta thể hiện nó.

Trong tình yêu, người phụ nữ vẫn thường nghĩ rằng họ chịu tổn thương nhiều hơn, dễ nhạy cảm hơn và do đó cần được bảo vệ và che chở bởi người đàn ông mà họ yêu. Xét về bản năng, điều đó có lẽ không sai. Thế nhưng, đàn ông cũng có những xúc cảm của riêng họ và khi đã yêu mãnh liệt, độ sâu đậm của họ đôi khi cũng không thua kém những người phụ nữ.

Dẫu tình yêu là một đề tài đẹp và là đề tài mà ta có thể nhắc tới, kể đi kể lại xuyên suốt cuộc đời mình thì đôi khi, đó chưa hề là sự ưu tiên trong cuộc sống vốn nhiều chiều dư luận, quy luật và định kiến. Tôi còn nhớ trong bộ phim La La Land, tác phẩm điện ảnh khắc họa tình yêu đẹp nhưng đời với kết thúc thật buồn giữa nàng Mia và anh chàng Seb. Cả hai, khi yêu, vẫn đang trầy trật trên con đường khẳng định chính mình. Dù yêu đương say đắm và ngọt ngào, nhưng cả hai con người vẫn đứng giữa vách ngăn lựa chọn cay đắng: hoa hồng hay bánh mì, tình yêu hay sự nghiệp? Một mái nhà tranh hai trái tim vàng đã không hề bị lãng mạn hóa trong tác phẩm điện ảnh này. Và họ đã bỏ lỡ nhau, vì chọn sự nghiệp. 5 năm sau, Mia trở thành nghệ sĩ nổi tiếng, nhưng kẻ cất bước bên cô giờ đây là người đàn ông khác chứ không phải chàng Seb ngày nào. Họ gặp nhau, nhìn nhau, có lẽ sẽ có sự tiếc nuối, hay nhẹ lòng vì những tình cảm "mãi mãi" năm xưa cũng đã mất tự hồi nào. Cuộc sống mà, chúng ta dường như được dạy bảo và tự dạy bảo để tiến lên.

Tình yêu là động lực cuộc sống, nhưng mất tình yêu cũng có thể trở thành động lực cuộc sống. La La Land là một biểu hiện chứng minh cho vế sau. Tất cả chúng ta đều muốn cuộc đời của mình tốt đẹp hơn, khấm khá hơn, chúng ta có những ưu tiên, và chúng bao hàm những lựa chọn. Tuổi trẻ, không ít người gạt bỏ tình yêu sang một bên để khẳng định mình trên con đường sự nghiệp. Mỗi quyết định đều không sai hay không đúng, mà đơn thuần mong nó sẽ không gây tiếc nuối hay nặng nề lên bất cứ ai. Bởi rằng, vẫn có những người đã lựa chọn tình yêu ngay cả khi họ còn trầy trật trên con đường ước mơ, vì khi tạo dựng tình yêu, họ có sức mạnh nhân đôi, thậm chí gấp bội. Đó được gọi là song kiếm hợp bích giữa hai cá thể trong một cuộc tình.

Trong bộ phim Harry Potter, tôi còn nhớ, Dumbledore đã lặp đi lặp lại câu nói: "Harry, tình yêu là điều quan trọng nhất trong kho tàng vũ khí của cháu, bởi vì đó là thứ duy nhất cháu sở hữu mà Voldemort không có." Bởi vì, Voldemort chưa bao giờ yêu. Ông ta chỉ quan tâm đến việc những người khác phục vụ mình ra sao, và chính vậy, ông ta cũng chả thể hiểu bản chất vị tha hay tình yêu giúp con người vượt qua trở ngại như thế nào.

Đừng quên, tình yêu là tiềm tàng và thuộc về bản năng trong mỗi chúng ta. Nhưng tình yêu cũng từng bị cấm đoán ở thời Hoàng Đế La Mã Claudius II, người ban hành đạo luật cấm các cặp đôi yêu nhau và kết hôn để thanh niên an tâm nhập ngũ. Thời điểm đó, Valentine cho rằng đây một đạo luật hết sức phi lý, đi ngược lại một trong những giá trị cốt yếu thuộc về quyền và cao hơn cả là bản năng của con người. Thế nên, sau khi Hoàng Đế ban hành điều luật, ông vẫn khuyến khích các cặp đôi yêu nhau, se duyên và đứng ra tổ chức đám cưới cho họ trong bí mật. Nhiều lần, ông tổ chức đám cưới trong những không gian nhỏ hẹp, đơn sơ và vỏn vẹn với một cây nến cùng cô dâu và chú rể. Lúc ấy, ông chỉ có thể đọc thì thầm lời nguyện cho đám cưới của họ. Cũng trong một đêm tổ chức đám cưới bí mật như vậy, không may họ đã bị phát hiện. Đôi tình nhân kịp trốn thoát, nhưng Valentine bị bắt. Ông bị đưa ra tòa và bị kết án tử hình. Những ngày còn lại trong tù chờ xử tử, ông sống hoàn toàn vui vẻ và mãn nguyện. Nhiều thanh niên đến thăm ông. Họ ném hoa và những lá thư vào cửa sổ nhà tù để cảm ơn ông và cũng để cho ông biết rằng, họ cũng như ông, tin vào tình yêu. Có một cô gái thường đến nhà tù thăm và nói chuyện với ông hàng giờ liền. Trước ngày chết, ông chuyển cho cô gái một lá thư cảm ơn tình bạn, niềm tin và lòng trung thành của cô gái. Cuối lá thư ông ký tên, “From your Valentine” mà cho đến nay các cặp tình nhân vẫn có truyền thống ký tên bằng cụm từ này. Valentine bị xử tử vào ngày 14 tháng 2 năm 269. Và ngày 14 tháng 2, được chọn là Ngày Valentine kể từ năm 496, ngày của tình yêu lãng mạn. Bởi thế, Valentine’s Day là ngày tôn vinh giá trị cũng như sự hy sinh cho tình yêu chứ không phải ngày lễ cho những món quà trao tay hay màn yêu thương chớp nhoáng.

Con người sẽ mãi mãi yêu như chính hàng trăm, hàng ngàn năm qua chúng ta vẫn luôn tiềm tàng bản năng ấy. Tình yêu sẽ chẳng thể diệt vong, dẫu cho chiến tranh xảy ra, dẫu cho thiên tai ập đến, thì những dữ kiện tiêu cực ấy sẽ càng chưng minh cho sức mạnh của tình yêu.

Bạn có biết, tại công viên Mariinsky thuộc thành phố Kie, Ukraine có đặt bức tượng đồng mang tên “Tình yêu vĩnh cửu” với hình ảnh một người đàn ông ôm người phụ nữ trong vòng tay trìu mến, thân thương. Đằng sau tác phẩm khắc chạm thu hút lòng người ấy là câu chuyện cảm động thời thế chiến thứ 2 giữa người lính Ý Luigi Peduto và người phụ nữ Ukraine mang tên Mokryna Yurchuk. Vào năm 1943, ở lứa tuổi đôi mươi, Luigi và Mokryna gặp nhau trong trại tập trung ở Áo, nơi họ bị giam giữ bởi đội quân phát xít Đức. Anh là tù binh chiến tranh, còn cô là một trong hàng ngàn công nhân Ukraine buộc phải di dời khởi thành phố. Luigi chỉ biết vài tiếng Nga đơn sơ, còn Mokryna thì một chữ Italy bẻ đôi cũng không biết. Họ cùng làm việc ở xưởng may của trại, mặc cho rào cản ngôn ngữ và hoàn cảnh chiến tranh ác liệt, Luigi vẫn cố gắng thể hiện tình yêu ban đầu bằng cách tạo những đồ vật nhỏ xinh để tặng Mokryna.

Nghịch cảnh chiến tranh đưa chàng và nàng đến với nhau, những đó cũng là lý do oan trái khiến cả hai phải chia lìa trong nước mắt. Vào năm 1945, khi đội quân Xô Viết tiến vào thành phố và giải phóng tù nhân, Luigi và Mokryna được tự do. Chàng muốn ở Ukraine để gần bên và chăm lo cho nàng nhưng không thể, vì trong thời điểm ấy, không một người ngoại quốc nào được phép ở lại Liên bang Xô Viết. Trớ trêu đưa đẩy, Luigi phải ra đi và mất liên lạc với Mokryna từ đó. 60 năm qua đi, dù cả hai đã có gia đình tại hai mảnh đất khác nhau nhưng rồi họ lại một mình khi bạn đời lìa xa. Vào năm 2003, Luigi gửi một bức thư lên chương trình truyền hình nước Nga “Wait for me” (Hãy chờ tôi), được phát sóng tại Ukraine với mục đích giúp khán giả tìm lại người thân đã mất tích, thông qua sự giúp đỡ của một phụ nữ Ukraine sống ở Naples, Italy. Cuối cùng, may mắn đã mỉm cười với người đàn ông kiên định ấy. Họ tìm thấy Mokryna tại ngôi làng nhỏ gần vùng trung Ukraine. Sau gần 6 thập kỷ tưởng chừng như vô vọng, họ lại gặp nhau tại chương trình truyền hình vào năm 2004. Cuộc gặp gỡ đầy cảm xúc và nước mắt giữa hai người tóc bạc đã trở thành nguồn cảm hứng cho tuyệt tác điêu khắc “Tình yêu vĩnh cửu” nổi tiếng đặt tại công viên Mariinskyi, Kiev.

Mãi mãi là bao lâu? Có một người phụ nữ đã từng bảo tôi khi tôi buông câu hỏi này: “Khoảnh khắc đó, thời điểm đó là mãi mãi.”

Nếu có ai đó bảo bạn rằng “Anh hứa sẽ yêu thương em mãi mãi” từ tận đáy lòng, đừng xét nét, đừng nghi ngờ, và cũng đừng để lý trí phải tra cứu tận cùng sự thành thật cùng khả năng giữ lời hứa của người ấy, hãy cứ đón nhận nó, trân trọng nó và nâng niu nó. “Mãi mãi”, tôi tin, là biểu hiện của tình yêu thăng hoa và là sự tôn vinh (trân quý) của đối phương với mối quan hệ giữa hai người. Thời gian rồi sẽ làm con người thay đổi, có những “mãi mãi” chỉ còn là dĩ vãng, nhưng sẽ tuyệt vời biết bao nếu ta nhìn và hồi tưởng về nó như một vẻ đẹp vĩnh cửu diễn ra trong thời điểm ấy. Chúng ta có thể nói ra hai từ “mãi mãi” dễ dàng nhưng cũng đừng vì thế mà nói với ai đó “mãi mãi” một cách dễ dãi. Bởi rằng, yêu thương đích thực và nghiêm túc đâu chừa chỗ trống để dành cho những cá nhân tụng ca và lợi dụng lời ngon ngọt chốn đầu môi để lấy lòng và tan tỉnh đối phương.

nửa đêm đọc đc bài viết này mà muốn rớt nước mắt vì hay quá!!

[fugleflojt]

I am absolutely in love with the part in la la land where Mia comes home and Seb is playing the piano and they start singing about how much they love each other and they just want everything to be like this forever i love it

[daisyindie]

Mia: “I'm gonna love you forever.” Seb: “I'm gonna love you forever, too."

Hi Seb,

Trước khi viết bức thư này cho anh, em đã dằn vặt và suy nghĩ rất nhiều. Suy nghĩ về tương lai phía trước của mình như thế nào nếu thiếu vắng hình bóng anh. Dằn vặt với bản thân rằng mình đã không bảo đảm được sự viên-mãn và tròn-vẹn với tình yêu này.

Yêu một khi là khi mình dốc lòng vì người đó. Dốc lòng có nghĩa là vừa chấp nhận vừa chịu đựng được. Em có thể chấp nhận được hết tất cả những khuyết điểm của anh, hoàn cảnh của anh, nhưng em chợt nhận ra là về lâu dài thì em không chịu được. Đó chỉ là sự đồng cảm, thông cảm. Lúc đó em cứ nghĩ, thôi thì mình cứ sống tròn-vẹn với cái hạnh-phúc méo mó này đi (méo mó của em nhưng đủ đầy của anh). Tuy nhiên, nếu em bản lĩnh sống cuộc đời của anh vậy thì ai sẽ bản lĩnh sống cuộc đời của em?

Anh nói đúng, em đang tâm bỏ qua một người luôn ưu tiên em lên hàng đầu, một người thương em hơn tất cả, và chưa chắc sau này em sẽ tìm được một người giống như vậy thêm một lần nào nữa trong đời. Nếu một năm trước em bỏ đi thì em công nhận câu nói này đúng, nhưng em đã dành trọn một năm để tập cảm nhận lại mọi thứ, hy vọng mình sẽ lại “tương kính như tân" (quý trọng yêu thương nhau như thuở hàn vi). Nhưng em đã thất bại anh à, mình giống như tri kỷ của nhau, chỉ có thể song hành cùng nhau, tuyệt đối không thể hoà vào nhau làm một. Bây giờ yêu-thương đã hoá thành thương-tưởng, cách nhau không xa đâu anh, chỉ nào mình đủ thăng trầm để hiểu được hạnh-phúc đôi khi nằm ở giữa lưng chừng, thì mình còn thương nhưng sẽ tưởng nhiều hơn, và tất nhiên là thương-tưởng luôn đi kèm với thương-tổn.

Love, Mia.

- Viết cho 5 năm của chúng ta -

[ramajmedia]

La La Land: 10 Hidden Details Everyone Completely Missed

La La Land stole our hearts back in 2016 when it hit the big screen with its honest, classic, and stunning tale. This movie even stole the show at the Academy Awards, with 14 nominations and 6 wins.

It's jammed full of references, Easter eggs, and underlying meanings, all of which created a ton of debate and conversation surrounding this film. If you watch the movie another time, you might just notice these 10 hidden details that were sneakily (and purposefully) added by the cast and crew.

10 Every Scene Has a Specific Color Palette

This is one detail that is definitely beautiful in our eyes and makes this film an absolutely stunning piece to watch. If you really look at each scene, you'll notice there are very specific color schemes and palettes with each different setting. This is on purpose.

If Mia is wearing a blue dress, the setting behind her is probably tinged with the same color. For example, Chazelle uses blue for scenes with high creativity and mood lighting. When you watch this movie again, you might just be able to distinguish a theme between the color of the scene and the significance of it.

9 Their Cars Say a Lot About Them

Mia drives a Prius, Sebastian drives a classic Riviera. Cool, right? Actually, this was done on purpose. In fact, it took the director and writers forever to decide which car they wanted Sebastian to drive. This was definitely not a throwaway detail.

RELATED: Ranking The 10 Most Iconic Actor Duos

Mia's car is sensible, modern, and pretty in-tune with her ambitious and practical personality. On the other hand, Seb's outdated, classic car reflects his old-school persona.

8 The Film They See is "Rebel Without a Cause"

While this movie was a popular and infamous film from this time in Hollywood, it wasn't just chosen on a whim by director Damien Chazelle. While this was an important film in this era and was included for that reason, the director nodded to this film in a few other sneaky ways.

We all remember James Dean's iconic red jacket from this film, right? Well, Emma Stone's character wears a similar jacket to both her audition and her call back.

7 Sebastian is Cooking Chicken at the End of the Film

If you remember at the beginning of the movie, Sebastian claims he wants to name his jazz club "Chicken on a Stick", because Charlie Parker was known for eating chicken. Mia tells him that no one will go to a place called that and that he should simply call it "Seb's".

RELATED: 10 Things You Never Knew About The Making Of La La Land

At the end of the film, when Mia and her new husband are saying goodbye to their children, and Seb is getting ready to go to his jazz club, you can see him cooking chicken on the stove. He flips the chicken in the pan, and the scene changes to him entering into the jazz club with the neon sign reading "Seb's". We don't need to explain the poetic beauty of this, but we know you're dying a bit on the inside.

6 The Title is a Bit Pessimistic but Authentic

One reason this title is said to be "La La Land" is right on the surface. Los Angeles has the initials "L" and "A", hence the "La" in the title. However, this title was also chosen as a satire and jab at Hollywood culture.

Hollywood is a dream for many and is definitely portrayed as such. While this movie is super dreamy, hence "La La Land", not all dreams come true for these two characters. This allusion to a dream-like state is both beautiful and realistically devastating.

5 There Are a Lot of Nods to the Golden Age of Hollywood

Throughout the film, you may notice billboards, posters, and even music as the characters dance and fly through the streets of LA. This movie isn't only its own beautiful, Golden Age film, but it takes so much of its beauty from inspiration from some stellar films.

RELATED: Oscars 2017: The Academy's Biggest Surprises & Best Moments

They pass the window from Casablanca, go to the Griffith Observatory where Rebel Without a Cause was shot (and which the couple sees on their date), and if you look really close, there's even a billboard of Damien Chazelle's first movie, Guy and Madeline on a Park Bench. These are only a few, and there are a lot. You should give it a Google.

4 All the "Singin' in the Rain" Allusions

The director has been more than open about his inspiration from this famous musical, but it's actually pretty obvious when you take a moment to look for it. The couple's cute meet resembles Don and Kathy's from their film, and Mia and Seb even banter about him being a "serious musician", much like Kathy argues that she's a "serious actress".

If that isn't enough, maybe go back to your favorite musical number (Emma Stone's yellow dress, A Lovely Night, yeah you know it), and peak when Ryan Gosling spins around the lamp post. Very Gene Kelly-like, we must say.

3 Mia's Heels

This is a small detail, but it definitely shouldn't go unnoticed. If you look really closely, Mia changes out of her heels and into tap shoes when she and Sebastian are having their iconic dance in the twilight. However, what's really important, is that we don't see her in heels again until after she's left Sebastian.

RELATED: Emma Stone’s 10 Best Roles, Ranked

This is a small, hidden detail that screams poetic parallel.

2 Chazelle's Signature "Glance"

At the end of the film, Mia and Seb look at each other with a serious glance, and they each slowly turn their mouths into a small smile. This is obviously meaningful, telling the audience that these characters will be alright.

This look is the ending of the movie, where viewers are allowed to finally feel as if these two parting ways will work out for both of them. However, this look also appeared at the ending of Whiplash and is said to be becoming Damien Chazelle's sneaky little director's signature.

1 Keith's and Seb's Debate Over Jazz

While Sebastian and Keith have a discussion over jazz music and the complexity of maintaining its integrity while adding inventiveness and creativity, this conversation was actually plugged in as a huge metaphor for the film industry.

Damien Chazelle has been very open about how this film is both a love letter to Hollywood and an underlying look at all its problems. The debate over jazz is supposed to mirror that of trying to make it big in Hollywood. The industry is simultaneously plagued by iconic film moments and the desire to innovate. Like Chazelle puts it, "do you try to preserve what you love about the past of an art form at the risk of marginalizing it?". This complexity is the core of this film, and this little jazz music debate is way more than meets the eye.

NEXT: The 10 Highest-Grossing Movie Musicals Of All Time (According To Box Office Mojo)

source https://screenrant.com/la-la-land-hidden-details-everyone-completely-missed/

[mia-hates-jazz]

hey, I wanted to ask what your personal interpretation of the La La Land ending is because I read a lot of varieties and I think they all somehow fit.

HOOOO BOY that’s a good question. I have a lot of feelings about the ending so get ready for a wild ride into my film-analyst brain.

So basically I took the overall (main) theme of the film to be along the lines of there’s a fine line between living OUT your dreams and living IN your dreams. There are lots of little sub-themes within the film, of course, but I determined this one to be the “main” one. Dreams are (obviously) a huge theme in the movie - in fact, the phrase “La La Land” refers to living in a dreamlike state without facing reality. I think we see what it’s like to live out your dreams with Mia - she was hardworking, determined, and didn’t compromise on her dreams for herself and her career. And in the end, she made her dreams come true! Seb, though, was more of an example of living in your dreams - he believed he could make enough money to make Mia happy, but it wasn’t realistically solving anything and he gave up his own dreams to give Mia something he only thought she wanted. There’s a lot more to it than this, but this is just the gist.

So in regards to the ending....the whole “what if” sequence was meant to show what would have happened if everything - literally everything - had turned out the way they both wanted to. Seb never signed on with Keith, Mia’s play was successful, the two of them got to live out a blissful domestic life together, yadda yadda. It makes the audience feel good and happy (albeit confused), but then this dream gets taken away from us. Not just Mia. Not just Sebastian. But from us, the audience, as well. As audience members, living vicariously through these characters was us living in a dream-world where things are all fine and dandy, yet most people don’t even have the courage to live out their dreams in real life. In La La Land, the ending was kind of like the “so what?” at the end of an essay where you lay out all your points but then turn things around to the audience and say, “so now what are YOU gonna do with this information?” I think Damien wanted the audience to leave feeling like they should be brave and make their dreams come true, even if they don’t always work out in the way we expect them to. We have ideas of how we think things will play out but then life happens and the things we once wanted get taken from us (JUST LIKE THE OSCARS) but we can learn to be happy with what we have, like how Seb was happy with his club and Mia was happy with her new family, in the end.

Those are just my opinions. But do they even make sense??? I implore anyone else to contribute their thoughts on this because I feel like I just spewed out a lot of words that have been in my head for forever but never got written into coherent sentences until now.

Thanks for the ask, friend!