#season one hotch will always hold a special place in my heart

[softhairedhotch]

season one aaron makes me want to bawl man he was SO soft and cute and gentle and sweet and then you get to season two and he's just... different. he hadn't even been through much at that point, he was just different. and i'm mad about it. but i still love him dearly and will always love him. i just miss season one aaron okay :(

i’m rewatching s1 of cm right now and it just breaks my heart that they introduced aaron as your usual professional g-man, who had a rough upbringing, but despite that does smile, shows his softer side, and isn’t afraid to make witty comments here and there

then one season later we never see him smile again

[dumpsiteforfics]

You are my only truth

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid

Genre: fluff, pining

Rating: General

Warning: Spoilers to season 14 episode 15

So this is fix-it fic for the mentioned episode where it's Aaron instead of JJ. Don't focus too much on the dialogues because I'm not even sure if they are exactly as they were in episode. Sorry I didn't want to watch it again lmao!! With that said, enjoy this and let me know if I should write a follow up where they have a talk and much more after the case, probably in Aaron's POV. ❤️❤️

"Spencer…"

Spencer looked towards his side, startled at the unusual use of his first name by Hotch. In 17 years that they knew each other, Hotch had called him by his name only on handful occasions, that too when they weren't on the job. His eyes were glossy with un-shed tears and Spencer wasn't sure how he felt about that. He had already successfully untied his tied hands as unsub was throwing a fit at Hotch to confess a shady truth. He could easily shoot up unsub and save Hotch from accepting something he didn't want to admit.

But Hotch looked different, and something told him that he shouldn't stop Hotch, that it was something important, and his guts had never failed him before just like Hotch. So he watched, not even daring to blink as Hotch shuddered before taking a deep breath as he uttered the words Spencer had only ever imagined in his dreams.

"I've always loved you… And I was just too scared to say anything, do anything about it. And I let too many years pass in between and now things are so complicated that I just don't know what to do about my feelings anymore…"

And Spencer's world stopped for a moment, he was sure Hotch could listen to his sped up heart if he paid attention. Hotch looked so desperate, so honest that he felt his heart squeeze painfully. Hotch was telling the truth, Oh God!! All those years spent pining after his boss, all those years where those feelings he thought were one sided were indeed returned, all those years wasted on wrong people, wrong words, wrong everything. When all he ever wanted was already his for years. And then Hotch ended the confession with an apology, and Spencer wanted to scream at him. He wanted to hit his chest half-heartedly and tell him to take back that apology, he wanted to pull Hotch into his arms and return those words back, he wanted to just kiss under those glossy eyes and take away every pain Hotch had felt suffering with these feelings all these years.

But before he could do anything, he heard the unsub's disgusting laughter and realised the situation they were in. He really didn't want to give unsub any chance to ruin this for them and without thinking twice he pulled out the gun strapped to his ankle holster and put bullet through his arm, his body making a satisfying thud as it hit the ground. He was quickly getting up to make sure that unsub's gun was out of his reach, and then he was trying to untie Hotch's hands. His hands were shaking so much that it was a surprise he could untie Hotch. And then, Hotch eas turning back to face him.

He was mesmerized once again by those dark eyes, normally too focused and void of any emotions but right now had those swirling emotions he had finally admitted. Spencer wasn't sure what should be next course of action, should he confess too? Should he be hugging his boss when they had their unsub's dead body lying beside them? Or should he just stop thinking and kiss that mouth he had been dreaming for over years? Or he should just take a hold of those calloused fingers in his and try to find out if they fit as well as he thought they would?

But before he got a chance to do any one of these listed things, the team was storming inside and they had to go back into their designated roles. But Spencer managed to get a hold of Hotch's pinky finger and Hotch turned back, his eyes so hopeful that Spencer wanted to say fuck it and climb on top his boss, but he wanted to have Hotch all for himself away from entire world when they did that, so he controlled his heart and instead asked, "Can we talk about this later? Rather as soon as possible? I-- I don't want to chuk this topic away and I really really want to talk about this. Please can you not go back to pretending nothing has changed? "

And he sees how Hotch looks relieved and just how his pinky finger tries to curl itself around his own and that gives him a confidence to stutter out last words, "I promise the change won't be bad this time. Just, give me chance to address it, preferably alone with just us."

And he is awarded by a dimpled smile that he had tucked in that special place inside his heart that was named after his boss, and he really wanted to kiss that smile but he once again pulled a leash on his heart and just smiled back when Hotch wordlessly nodded before parting ways.

[anightflower]

Come and Find Me Chapter 4: The Andrew Curtis Case

Guys I am so sorry this took so long. On top of school kicking my ass, I had to rewrite and reedit this chapter several times until I got to one that I deemed worthy. I am going to try and post Chapter Five early for you guys if I can. 

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Violence, Rape, Abuse

Masterlist 

Spencer glanced around the room at all the police officers assembled. He cleared his throat. 

“The Unsub is a white male in his late 20s to mid-30s. He is a man with an average build and a friendly face, someone who women would not pose as a threat.”

“Since there were no signs of forced entry, we believe he’s posing as someone who women would let into their house. Classic cases of this include maintenance men there to check up on things, someone who needs help after their car broke down, or a similar case like that.” Emily explained. “This is a man who fakes confidence, but in reality views himself as inadequate in some way, he knows he can’t fight off another man, so he chooses women who live alone and are essentially defenseless.” 

“Yet, he hates that they are successful enough to support themselves or that they have any sort of power.” Morgan chimed in.

“He clearly was cheated on or had some sort of marital issue that caused him to spiral into this spree. He is a sexual sadist projecting his partner onto the women he attacks, that’s why he chokes them, watching the life drain from their eyes sparks something in him and gives him a sense of power. That is also why he rapes his victims, he loves the idea that he is all powerful and they are helpless.” Hotch explained. 

Spencer swallowed, “Comparing his last four victims it seems his type is 20-30 year old females with (Y/C/H) and (Y/C/E).” 

Which coincidentally looks like the love of my life. Spencer thought, repressing a shudder.

________________________________________________________________

Spencer starred in shock at the scene around him. He was just finishing up the geographical profile, when they had received a call about yet another body. 

Her empty bulking eyes stared up at the ceiling, her body was beaten, cut, and bruised. 

“Strangulation marks on her neck, multiple stab wounds and injuries, this looks like our unsub.” Emily resisted the urge to shudder. 

“Man, whoever cheated on this guy, must have really broken him.” Morgan mused, looking around at the bloody scribblings on the wall. 

Spencer knew that if they tested the blood on the wall, it would match the victims. He looked at the frames on the wall, trying to ignore the blood that seemed to coat everything. The victim had her diploma hung up and multiple pictures of her smiling with family or friends. Spencer stared hard at the name on the diploma; Adria Winston.

It scared Spencer how easily he could see you in this woman’s place. Injured, dying, pleading for him, for anyone to save you-

“Reid. Reid, are you alright?” Morgan clapped a hand on Spencer's shoulder, drawing him back to the present. 

Spencer shook himself out of his dazed state. “Yeah, uh I just need to step out for a second.” He said, pushing past Morgan and making his way outside Adria’s house. He pulled out his phone and dialed your number, it was late, so you would most likely be asleep, but-

You picked up on the third ring. “Hi baby, are you alright?” Spencer bit back a smile at the sleepiness in your voice.

“Not really, but I just really needed to hear your voice. How is Ohio?” Spencer asked, trying to distract himself from what he just saw. You could tell, but you played along with it. 

“Not too bad, whoever designed the Google lounge has nothing on me.” You joked. 

“Well, we already knew that.” Spencer smiled. 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t believe some of the cool stuff I found, I’m telling you if the employees complain about these amazing comfy chairs I got for their break room, I am totally coming back and stealing all 22 of them for my apartment.” You said enthusiastically. “They're perfect for reading in Spence, I’m telling you, you would love them.” 

Spencer let out a little laugh, “I’m sure they are. We will have to see if we can find some, but I don’t think 22 will fit in either of our apartments.” 

“I suppose you’re right” You sighed dramatically, but then took a more serious tone of voice. “Are you alright baby?” 

Spencer’s chest tightened at your worried tone of voice. “There’s a sick selfish part of me that is so glad that you aren’t here (Y/N). All of these girls look so much like you-” Spencer paused, swallowing back tears. “I just am so glad you are safe, I don’t think I could focus as well on this case if I knew you could possibly be in danger.” 

“Aw Spencer, I am so sorry baby. You aren’t sick or selfish for wanting me to be safe, everyone focuses on the safety of those they love, it’s only human. I know you are going to catch this guy, you are the most brilliant man and agent I have ever met. Just don’t tell your team I said that, I don’t want a bad reputation before they even meet me.” You teased, trying to lighten his dark mood. 

Spencer let out a small laugh and sniffled. “Trust me the team is going to love you. We will have to figure out when you can meet them, but I definitely want to wait until things settle down a bit here.” 

There was silence on your end for a second. “Listen Spence, I can stay here a bit longer if it will help you focus, but when I come home I am taking self-defense classes and such. I want you to have a sane mind knowing that your girlfriend actually can handle herself. I honestly think it will help me keep sane too, after hearing everything about this case.” 

Spencer heart skipped a beat, as much as he wanted you safe and sound, he also needed to hold you in his arms to keep his sanity. But ultimately you were the one who should lead your life, not Spencer.  “I appreciate you considering me, but I want the ultimate decision to be made by you Princess, I trust your judgement and I don’t want you living your life based on my fear.” 

You breath caught in your throat at the sentiment. “I love you Spencer Reid.” 

Spencer could have sworn his heart stopped. The two of you hadn’t said I love you yet. Part of him wished it was in person, but just hearing you say it, meant the world to him. “I love you more (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

So help him god, Spencer would catch whoever this unsub was and put him away, so you could come home to a safer city. 

________________________________________________________________

“You know what strikes me as funny?” Emily asked, looking at the crime scene photos. 

The room was silent, waiting to hear what she had to say. 

“Each of these unsubs reported strange gifts and letters being sent to their home. The police had thought it was nothing, but now I am thinking that maybe this could be a connection. I mean think about it, didn’t you guys notice that each victim received a gift box wrapped the exact same way?” 

Morgan nodded. “Yeah they had the white box with the red bow-”

Spencer chimed in, “Red typically symbolizes love and infatuation, but in this case it was the unsub’s warning, red meant war or violence was about to come upon this victim.” 

“Reid and JJ I want you to talk to the officers and get the reports these women filed for harassment, I think we are missing a connection.” Hotch ordered. 

An hour or so later they had that connection.  

“All of the victims received their gifts from a delivery service called ‘Special Delivery.’” JJ explained to everyone. 

“Well it seems we have to pay them a visit.” Hotch said. 

________________________________________________________________

Special Delivery was a small Ma and Pa store, located just a couple blocks from Ava’s coffee shop. Spencer debated on stopping in to check in with her and maybe grab the team coffee. 

Spencer had quickly taken a liking to Ava, not only because he had called him your “sexy superhero boyfriend,” but because she was a reliable friend to you, one who always managed to bring a smile to your face. She reminded Spencer of a more wild Emily, in the best way possible.

Emily stopped outside the storefront window, glancing at the display of chocolates, gift baskets, and jewelry. “Why is it always the cute small places that get ruined? Can’t it be one of those big corporate offices that fuck over their employees instead?” 

Spencer huffed a laugh. 

As they entered the store, the bell let out a delicate twinkle. Causing a silver-streaked brunette to pop out from the back of the store. Her round face held a warm smile as she approached them. 

“Hello dears! What can I do for you?” She asked as she excitedly clasped her hands together.

“Hello Mrs. Ellison, my name is SSA Prentiss and this is Dr. Reid, we had a few questions for you.” Emily said gently, flashing her badge to the woman. 

The woman's smile dimmed a bit, “Oh, uh of course, is everything alright?” 

“Mrs. Ellison I am sure you’ve heard of the recent tragedies-” Emily began, 

“Oh yes, I’ve been keeping up with the news, it’s just dreadful that something so horrible could happen so close to home. You see these things in movies or in other places, but you just never expect them to happen right near you.” Mrs. Ellison said sorrowfully, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“Mrs. Ellison, I am afraid everyone of these victims received several deliveries from your shop. Each was wrapped exactly the same, white box, red bow, does this ring any bells for you?” Spencer asked, cutting to the chase. 

“Well dear, it is Valentine season, red, pink, and white are the typical go to colors.” She shrugged. 

“Do you have any regulars? He would have each gift he bought wrapped the exact same way? He would seem friendly, but would be on the quieter side?” Emily asked, attempting to prod the older woman’s memory. 

“I’m afraid none of that is ringing any bells dear, I am so sorry.” Mrs. Ellison said apologetically. 

“Do you have any other employees? Or do you run this place all by yourself?” Spencer asked. 

Mrs. Ellison, let out a small laugh, “Oh goodness me, no. I get so many orders, I could never do it by myself. I previously had three employees, Jess, Remy, and Andrew, but I had to fire Andrew when I found him stealing from our stock. It was a shame too, he was a hardworking boy, but I’m afraid he just fell apart after his wife left him.”

Emily and Spencer exchanged a quick glance. “Do you happen to know why his wife left him?” Spencer asked, his heart picking up speed. 

“Oh it's not my business to share-” Mrs. Ellison hesitated. 

“Please Mrs. Ellison, this could be crucial information.” Emily urged her. 

Mrs. Ellison let out a sigh. “That horrible girl cheated on him. I just couldn’t understand it either, Drew was such a doting gentleman to her, it simply didn’t make sense.” 

“Do you still have his contact information? His address?” 

“Why of course, but you couldn’t possibly think he has anything to do with this-” Mrs. Ellison began, making her way to behind the counter to grab a binder. She looked up worried when Spencer and Emily didn’t answer right away. “Do you?” She urged. 

“It’s quite possible he had nothing to do with it, we just need to follow through with every angle.” Emily quickly explained. 

“Of course.” Mrs. Ellison said, but her hands slightly shook as she opened up her binder to get Andrew’s address. 

________________________________________________________________

“Andrew Curtis, this is the FBI, open up.” Hotch hollered from outside the door. There was no response. Hotch looked to his team to make sure they were ready, then kicked in the door. 

As the team checked different rooms, several calls of “Clear!” echoed throughout the house. Curtis was not there. 

Morgan made his way to the basement and swallowed back a gag. “Hotch! You better come see this.” 

Guns at the ready, Spencer, Hotch, Rossi, and Emily, made their way down to Morgan. 

“What the hell.” Emily huffed as they all beheld the horrific sight before them. 

It was a girl, for sure. She had the same mutilated marks as far as they could tell, but her body was decently decayed. 

“He’s displaying her like a trophy.” Spencer observed. “He props her up naked and makes sure her wounds are fully on display to remind him what he did.”

“There’s more trophies over here.” Rossi said in disgust, gesturing to a shelf full of different valuables. 

“He’s sick.” Morgan hissed. 

“We need a med team down here to remove a body. As soon as it’s IDed we need to know and alert any next of kin.” Hotch ordered into his earpiece. 

Rossi put on a glove and began to go through the other trophies for evidence. “I’ll talk to the victims families and see if any of them recognize these items.” 

Morgan dialed up Garcia. 

“Speak and be heard, the all-knowing goddess listens.” 

“Hey baby girl, I need you to look up any missing person’s reports from around this area. The victim has (y/c/h) and (y/c/e). She fits our victimology to a t, but we need to figure out who she is.”

“I’m on it.” Garcia said. 

“And Garcia,” Hotch said, stopping her before she hung up. “I need you to find a license plate for Andrew Curtis. Also check to see if he rents or owns any other property, he’s currently not at his home and it is too close to other buildings for his victims to not be heard.” 

“You got it. Talk soon.” She said, hanging up. 

About half an hour later Garcia got back to them. “Curtis drives a 2003 silver sedan with the license plate 637-IRT. I also found that he rents a small storage unit that’s a 20 minute drive in a more secluded part of town. I am sending the address to you guys now.” 

“Thanks Garcia.” Hotch said. He turned to JJ “I need you to get an APB on Curtis. I want you to warn the public to keep an eye out for him.” 

JJ nodded and rushed off with her phone. Hotch looked to the rest of the team. “Everyone else, vests on, we are heading to that storage unit.”

________________________________________________________________

“Fuck Drew, what are we going to do?” The boy asked as he looked at the screen projecting a news report on Andrew Curtis.

“Well, it might be the end for me, little brother, but I have you as my legacy. They don’t have a clue that you are even involved, so I need you to get out of here.”

“No, no, no. I am not going to leave you!” The Boy cried, tears streaming down his face. 

Drew huffed a laugh. “Now, now, little bro. It isn’t the time for tears. I’ve taught you everything you need to know. You need to get your girl from that Doctor remember?”

“How am I supposed to do this without you?” The Boy asked, fear filled his voice. 

“Your time will come. You have to be a man about this. You have the skills now and you have our little videos to watch. Your own little tutorial to pluck that girl right out of Dr. Reid’s hands. You need to hide those and hide them well. Promise me you won’t fuck up your chance.” Drew growled. 

The Boy whimpered and Drew smacked him. “Promise me!” He yelled. 

“I promise.” The Boy sobbed, grabbing at his pained cheek.

Drew’s face softened and he gave the boy a smile. “Good, now get out of here legacy and make me proud. I expect to see you on the news someday.” He winked. “You remember our code right?” 

The boy nodded. 

“Then this isn’t the last time we will speak to each other. Now get the fuck out of here, I already fucked with the security footage, so they won’t even know you were here.” Drew explained, pushing the boy out towards the parking lot. 

The Boy’s heart broke as he rushed from his mentor, not only because he knew he would never be able to see Drew in person after this, but because he knew that he would never be able to ruin the 6th victim. The sixth whore that was tied up in the trunk of Drew’s car. 

________________________________________________________________

The girl sobs were muffled by her gag. Drew pulled on her hair harder as he dragged her to the storage unit. He knew he didn’t have much time left, so he might as well let every moment count huh?

The girl’s sobs turned into terrified screams as she beheld the bloodied storage room and the various knives and devices within it. 

“Shut up you stupid bitch.” He growled in her ear.

The girl whimpered something and Drew ripped away her gag. 

“Please.” She begged and Drew simply laughed as he lugged her limp body towards the table in the center of the room.

“Please, just let me go. I won’t tell anyone, I promise. I have a family who cares about me-” She pleaded. 

“Whores don’t have families. Whores have nothing. They just cheat and lie and move onto the next guy. Huh Madelyn?” He growled as he threw her up onto the table.

“My name isn’t Madelyn, please it’s Emily-” The girl sobbed.

“Enough of your lies Madelyn. You stupid slut. You couldn’t stay loyal could you?” Drew snarled, hitting the girl’s head hard against the table.

She sobbed harder. “My name is Emily, my name isn’t Madelyn, please it’s Emily.” She babbled.

“SHUT UP.” He said, hitting her again.

Suddenly a shout rose up from outside the storage unit door. “Andrew Curtis, this is the FBI, come out with your hands raised.” 

The smile that crept across Drew’s face was wicked. He grabbed a knife and pulled Emily against him. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?” He whispered in her ear. 

“Andrew Curtis, this is your last warning. We will come in armed and ready.” Hotch’s voice shouted again. 

Drew remained where he was, the sick smile on his face, as tears streamed down Emily’s face. 

When the door burst open and several agents poured in, he did not flinch or cower away. 

“Drop the weapon.” Hotch boomed, his voice echoing in the space.

“Now, now, now, where would the fun be in that?” Drew mocked. 

“Put down the weapon, Curtis and let the girl go.” Rossi ordered. 

Drew’s eyes looked past all of them and fell on Spencer, he bit back a smile.

“Come any closer and I’ll slice her throat.” Drew threatened, pressing the knife harder to Emily’s throat, a few drops of crimson blossomed and crept down her neck.

“If you don’t let Miss Bloise go, then we will be forced to take action Mr. Curtis.” Rossi explained.

Drew’s hand shook, god he wanted them to come at him, but then he thought of his mentee, how lost he would be without him. 

He lowered the knife and let the girl go. She ran towards one of the agents, tears mixing with the blood that ran down her neck. JJ wrapped an arm around the girl and guided her out. 

Morgan rushed to Curtis, pinning him down against the floor and putting cuffs around his wrists. 

Though they had caught him, Hotch felt uneasy. Curtis had given in too quickly. The greasy smile across Curtis’s face as Morgan led him away only heightened his suspicions. 

________________________________________________________________

The team sat outside the interrogation room, watching as Hotch tried to get a rise out of Andrew Curtis. He and JJ had gone in; Hotch to be the intimidator, JJ to be the trigger as she looked a bit similar to the victims. So far the man had just sat in the chair, his arms crossed, silent and smirking. It had been almost an hour and they had gotten nothing out of him.

Spencer felt as though Curtis could see him through the two-way mirror. 

“You know Agent,” Curtis began. “I know you’re trying to be the big bad wolf, but it’s not going to work, I’ve dealt with worse than you.”

Morgan looked about ready to kick in the door and beat the confession out of Andrew. 

“Send me in, I’ll get an answer out of him” Morgan growled, cracking his knuckles.

“Unfortunately, the confession won’t stand up in court if they found out you beat the shit out of Curtis to get it” Emily smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

“The Court doesn’t have to know” Morgan argued, making Emily scoff. 

“Focus kids.” Rossi ordered sternly, but Spencer could tell he was fighting back a small smile. 

Hotch and JJ came out of the room. Hotch looked to Spencer, his expression grim. “He wants to talk with you.”

Spencer looked at Hotch confused, “Why me?”

“He’s ‘fascinated by you’” Hotch explained. “I know it’s not ideal and you don’t have to go in their Reid, but-”

“But, we could get the confession out of him. We have the charges for Miss Bloise, but we want to pin him for the other girls he attacked. I understand and I will do it.” Spencer said. 

“I’ll stick with you Spence” JJ reassured, putting a hand on his arm. “You won’t be alone.”

Spencer nodded, sending a grateful look JJ’s way as they made their way into the interrogation room.

“Ah the elusive doctor. So glad you could join us.” Drew purred.

Spencer said nothing as he moved to sit down across from Curtis.

“-your wife left you Mr. Curtis, is that correct?” JJ asked.

“Please doll, a pretty thing like you can call me Drew” Drew said, looking JJ up and down. 

Spencer’s fists clenched in anger as he felt JJ tense next to him.

“The file says she left you after she cheated on you. Did you have medical issues Mr. Curtis?” Reid asked, drawing Curtis’s attention to him. “Did you struggle to please your own wife?”

Curtis growled. “That stupid whore has nothing to do with this.” 

“Ah so you couldn’t and when she left you for a man that could, you projected your anger for her onto these women. You were angry at them for being confident and independent, much like your wife who knew what she wanted.” Spencer said, sitting back in his chair with a faint smirk. 

“These women were nothing but whores, willing to let men in like me. They wanted someone so badly they let a stranger into their house.” Curtis hissed.

“Mr. Curtis, you were a delivery man. They didn’t let you in, you forced your way into their homes didn’t you?”

“If a man needs a glass of water, can’t he let himself in?” Curtis purred. “They turned their backs on a predator and got what was coming to them.” 

“Did you attack them in their homes?” JJ asked. 

“Only to make them quiet, couldn’t have the neighbors hear them scream.” Curtis laughed and Spencer resisted the urge to choke out the man across from him. 

They placed images of all of his supposed victim’s before him. “Do you recognize these women?” JJ asked, her voice harsh and cold. 

Curtis looked over all of them, silent for a couple minutes. Spencer’s patience thinned. “Well?” 

Curtis pointed to an image of Lila Jennings, the third victim of this case. “She screamed the loudest.” He pointed to another image. “She was a hot piece of ass, it was fun breaking her.” 

“Enough.” Spencer hissed. 

“In short Doctor, yes I do recognize these women. Every single one of them and no I do not regret a single one.”

Without saying another word, JJ and Spencer got up, taking the files with them. Curtis’s laughter rang out behind them as they shut the door.

________________________________________________________________

TAGLIST

@andiebeaword @haylaansmi @parkastoria @possessedjoker @amronsparty @generaltheoristexpert @sierraraeck @coniumalces @tamedbyafox @anotherr-fine-mess @adoregin @rainsong01 @canyonnmoonn  @mggshoe @boxofsparklingmuses @richardpapensmuse @deanlenaz​ @rainsong01 @goldentournesol @annesauriol @itsametaphorbriansblog @secretpickleprofessordean @shameleswhorehourstm @stepsofthefbi​ @iifloweringnightsii @mggsprettygirl​ @bravegirl221​ @messyhairday-me​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @abbeypaw7​ @findmedontlooseme @hiiwouldlikesomesleepplease @sarcasticsagittarius1998

[undomesticatedbiologist]

I actually really like jotch and I write for them sometimes. I know it’s not a popular ship (and don’t get me wrong, jemily always holds a special place in my heart), but I think Jotch actually works really well. I agree with the feeling that JJ is “down and to the side.” It feels less like she’s his direct subordinate and since they discuss and choose the cases often before the rest of the team, jotch kinda makes sense to me (tho this might be bc my favorite CM seasons are 1-5 so most of my thoughts are from their relationship during this time, when JJ wasn’t a profiler). They communicate a lot, and I think the match up of JJ, who is a lot more in touch with her emotions and willing to be open and vulnerable, with Hotch, who often represses his emotions and feels the need to be stoic for his team, is a good one. I think they balance each other out.

for the brutally honest ships: jotch and hotchniss

I can't find the post this ask meme is from, so I'm going to assume it's just for my honest opinion haha

Jotch: I think Jotch could have been canon for real. I think they even hint at it sometimes. There would be a really interesting power dynamic and Hotch having to reckon with the big age gap. I think JJ wouldn't let him push her away emotionally during cases, but she also struggles with being emotionally intimate in a relationship. It would probably start as a physical relationship and then a dangerous situation makes them realize it's more. I think JJ would still leave, but come back again after Emily and stay this time. Once she's a profiler, and she has more experience, she and Hotch would feel more like equals. She'd also understand his attachment to Haley during the Foyet arc and she'd really help him through it. I think he could actually be vulnerable with her and show her how much he values her.

Hotchniss: I love this ship, but not in canon lmao he knew her when she was like 21 and you don't come back from that lmao I also think Emily would get frustrated at how often he chooses the job over her, but she'd understand it and see it as another sign they aren't meant to be. Hotch would struggle with the dichotomy of needing her to obey him as a member of the team and giving her space to push back and speak for herself off duty. I also think she wouldn't be able to handle the image of her "sleeping with the boss" because she started as his subordinate (JJ is more like down and to the side)

Edit: I found the post! Tumblr just didn't refresh at all overnight rip

[psychedellic-phase]

Fifteen

PART 1:

A/N: This is the first series I’m planning on writing. It should be about 17 parts in total when it’s done. The idea is based on one of my favorite books Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler! Seasons 6-9 Reid, and Maeve erasure. Also this gif is so perfect creds to the creator. Enjoy & I’d love any requests/feedback! :)

Tw: mention of vomiting

Word count: 1135

Spencer left Hotch’s office and paced past his own desk, mulling over what his boss had just told him. He told him that Y/N had transferred out of the BAU to head up the Seattle field office, effective immediately. His heart sank into his stomach. Was it really that bad between the two of you that you had to leave? Surely you couldn’t leave the whole team that easily, but you had. And you wanted to be as far away from him as possible, Hotch had basically said so himself. Everyone knew you had your pick of places to go; New York, Baltimore, Philadelphia, even other units at Quantico. But you picked Seattle. Seattle. Which is 2,789.1 miles from Quantico. 2,789.1 miles from him. 

You both knew it may come to this, but you were confident your relationship would work out. Hotch told the two of you what would happen if the romance went sour when you put in a relationship form three long years ago. He said he didn’t care, he hoped you guys were happy, but if it interfered with work someone would have to leave. Spencer never thought one of you would ever leave the other in any capacity. But maybe that was wishful thinking and his abandonment issues talking. He thought that even if your romantic relationship didn’t work, your friendship still would. But here he was, and you were gone. 

He blinked away the tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes, finally noticing the cardboard box on his desk. It was one of those boxes printer paper came in, with the lid and bright colors on the side. The lid said a few words in big black sharpie:  TO SSA SPENCER REID

He smirked, you hated calling him doctor. You insisted that SSA was cooler than doctor anyways, and he should be proud of his achievements. “A lot of people are doctors, but not everyone is a Supervisory Special Agent.” He could practically hear you saying it now. 

Without even thinking twice, he gingerly took the lid off and saw a stack of envelopes on the top which covered the rest of the box’s contents. The top envelope said ‘Spencer’ on the front in your very familiar handwriting. He held it in his hands like it was a piece of glass, so fragile, the same way he used to hold you. Immediately, he took a letter opener and sliced open the top, revealing a sheet of notebook paper. He took a deep breath and flopped into his desk chair, ignoring the questioning look Morgan gave him. He started reading page one. He knew he could finish the whole letter in a few minutes because he could read so damn fast, but instead, he went one word at a time, not wanting your last words to him to be over that quickly. He wanted to savor it. The first envelope addressed to him contained a letter that was short and rushed. You had just written it, the tear stains on the ink looked fresh and still wet. 

“Spencer,

First and foremost, I’m sorry. I know Hotch just talked to you. I saw him take you in and used that as my opportunity to leave this here for you. In this box is everything from the last three years of our lives. I know you can read this whole thing in five minutes, Genius, but take it slow. Please, for me. And no this isn’t just a box of your tee shirts and gifts to me, this box holds so much more than that. What can I say? I’m sentimental. There’s a few rules though Spence, and I know you’ll follow them because you’re you:

1. Each letter is numbered corresponding with an item. When I mention something, take it out of the box and look at it, appreciate it, and remember it.(Even though I know you remember everything I ever said to you, Mr. Eidetic Memory)  If I ask you to do something with it or drive somewhere, do that too. So maybe take the rest of today and tomorrow to go through it all.

2. Don’t start this in the bullpen. I know it’s tempting, but I don’t want Anderson and everyone else seeing what’s in here. It’s personal, for both of us. 

3. Don’t reach out and don’t try to stop me. Seattle is far.  I know, but I’m leaving. Don’t chase me, and don’t send Derek to chase me. We both deserve to move on.

I’m sorry Spencer. I am. I am so sorry. I hate to leave you like this, with a letter. Leave you just like Gideon. Just like your dad did. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for being exactly like everyone else who left you. But let’s be honest here, you left me a long time before I left you. I can’t do this in person, it hurts too much. It’s too raw. But, I need you to get the whole story from me. This is our love story and our breakup story told in 15 lucky items that mean the most to me us. 

Oh, and one last rule:

Always remember that I love you and I mean it. 

xo,

Y/N”

He read the same page over and over again, pouring over every word. He had to take deep breaths to avoid melting down in front of an office full of people. He looked around desperately for you. Maybe you hadn’t gotten in the elevator yet. Maybe you stuck around to see the kicked puppy look on his face when he opened the box. But you hadn’t, you were already gone. Just like you said you would be. 

He read page 1 again. It was written in blue ink, which usually means the writer is sensitive, peaceful and enjoys order and organization.They are the helpers and the doers of the world.  He silently scolded himself for trying to profile the letter, he already knew all of these things about you. He knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. Maybe the blue ink meant something or maybe it was just the pen you grabbed. He shoved the page back in the envelope and put the lid on the box. He didn’t want to peek and ruin the rest of the surprise. He was half excited and half terrified of what the rest of the letters would tell him.

Spencer avoided Derek and JJ’s concerned glances as he hurriedly packed his messenger back and grabbed the box. It was heavier than he expected. The items weren’t necessarily heavy, it was the feeling that was heavy. The feeling that everything from 1245 days of your lives were condensed into fifteen objects. 3.4 years; 1245 days; 1,792,800 minutes; 107,568,000 seconds into fifteen things. He suddenly felt like vomiting, but luckily he was already in the parking lot. He didn’t know how he got there so quickly, but his head was spinning and he emptied his stomach next to his car before getting in and driving home.

Part 2!

[hotchley]

the first christmas

please don’t judge the title or quaity of this, it’s 00:50 and i’ve not proofread it. we’re just going to go with it.

summary: it’s baby hotchner’s first christmas that he’s actually going to remember. it’s mostly pure fluff with like the smallest amount of angst, but the ending is happy and nobody dies or gets hurt so we’re classing it as a win. and fluffy.

trigger warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

read on ao3!

Christmas was fast-approaching, and they still weren’t ready. Initially, Dave had wanted everything to be perfect. Now… he just wanted everything to be ready before Aaron woke up. SSA Hotchner had taken a tumble into a river and emerged from it as an eight-year-old. Well, a sort of eight-year-old. He had memories of being an adult, but they were fuzzy at best. And his speech, the way he did things, and his size were that of an eight-year-old.

Jack seemed to be having the time of his life. Dave was just worried they were going to do something horrifically wrong. Like Christmas. Hotch never really opened up about his plans for the holiday season, and now, every time someone tried to get him to open up about what he wanted to do, he clammed up. Or he’d change the subject.

One time, Spencer had asked, and he’d run out the room before he could even finish the question.

They stopped trying to ask him after that. Jessica had no idea what his Christmas traditions had been growing up as her family had only moved when he was going into his senior year, and after him and Haley got married, she still never really knew what the two of them got up to. Jack had seemed uncomfortable when they asked him. After much prodding and gentle confirmation that there would be no judgement, no matter what he said, Emily managed to pry the information from him.

In the years between the divorce and Haley’s death, Christmas was spent with Haley and Jessica, with Aaron there but not really there because you could cut the tension with a knife. After she died, Hotch had always sent Jack to his grandparents for Christmas because then he could see his cousins and spend time with the family he rarely saw. Which meant Hotch usually spent Christmas as an adult alone and sad.

He couldn’t believe none of them had ever realised, but then JJ and Will would always go and see her mom. Spencer would go down to Las Vegas. Derek and Penelope would go to Chicago and then to visit her parents grave. Dave’s plans varied on who was in the area and Emily usually went as far from her family as was possible. But they had all at least had someone. Hotch had nobody.

Rossi suspected that was how he spent a lot of his childhood too. There was no other reason that he would be so small. Because Rossi remembered Jack and Henry when they were the age Hotch now was. They were both healthy and lively. Hotch seemed far too small and far too nervous for a child that was supposedly safe.

He shook his head and stared at the sight before him. The tree that he had gotten at the last minute was still bare because every time he tried to decorate it, something just wouldn’t look right. Garcia was going to come round with cookies and the rest of the team would also be arriving at various different times with assorted items. He knew that meant presents.

Garcia arrived thirty minutes early. When he opened the door to her, he was greeted by bags. Lots and lots of bags.

“Penelope, what have you done?”

She walked in with the two smallest and lightest bags. He sighed and picked up the rest, following her into the hallway as she toed off her shoes and hung up her coat.

“Well Hotch won’t open up about Christmas so we don’t know what traditions he remembers or did. Which means we need to do all of them. I have decorations, cookie ingredients, stockings, films, books and of course, everything you need for the perfect hot chocolate. And he may still believe in Santa so there are some carrots and mince pies.”

“Wait. Cookie ingredients? I thought you were going to bring them?”

Garcia didn’t respond. She’d walked into the living room whilst she had explained what was in the bags and Rossi suspected it was because she hadn’t heard him. He sighed and followed her in. She was staring at the tree.

“What is that?” she whispered, seemingly horrified.

“Look don’t judge me. I tried to decorate it. Multiple times. But every time, something just didn’t look right and I had to start over. I’m a perfectionist. Sue me.”

She turned and stared at him. “Rossi, I don’t know what planet you’ve been living on, but a Christmas tree isn’t supposed to look perfect. It’s supposed to be fun. And I know you want to surprise bossboy, but I think he should be involved. After all, he probably doesn’t remember a single Christmas fondly.”

Rossi realised she, as always, was right. “I guess I got so caught up in trying to get everything to be perfect for him that I forgot it was meant to be fun.”

“Would you look at that? He’s willing to admit when he’s wrong. Where is baby Hotchner at the moment?”

“Upstairs, napping. I don’t think he slept well last night. I also don’t think he likes being called baby Hotchner given that he’s not actually a baby.”

“Well what am I meant to call him? If I say Hotch, then it sounds like I’m referring to the big, mean to unsubs but sweet to the rest of us, federal agent. And Aaron just feels wrong.”

Rossi smiled at her antics. “Maybe. We’ll come up with a better nickname at some point. Do you want me to get him or will you be okay?”

“Oh I’ll get him! Kids that have just woken up are the cutest thing ever!”

Twenty minutes later, Garcia came down the stairs, her hand being held by Aaron.

He looked tiny, even for a child. His pyjamas, which consisted of a green dinosaur top and matching bottoms (only the bottoms had different dinosaurs all over it whilst the top was a single red one) seemed to swallow him up. His hair was falling in his face and incredibly floppy, only made worse by his recent waking up.

It was an adorable sight, watching him rub one eye to get the sleep out.

Dave crouched down, even as his knees winced. Aaron stared at him with wide eyes.

“How are you feeling little one?” he asked.

Aaron shrugged. “Miss Penny said that we were going to do something fun because of Christmas, so I guess I’m okay.”

It took Rossi a moment to understand what he was saying. He doubted any of them- aside from Will- would actually be able to understand his accent immediately for a long time.

“Yeah. We are going to decorate the Christmas tree that’s over there, and then we’re going to bake some cookies. Then, we can all sit on the couch, drinking hot chocolate and watch a film that you’ll get to pick. And after that, when it’s time to go to sleep, we’ll read a special Christmas story!” Garcia said, more excited than the actual kid.

Aaron turned to stare at her, a little disbelieving. “Really?”

She nodded. “Yeah baby Hotchner. Really.”

He still seemed suspicious. “No catch?”

Garcia’s smile faded and she sat beside him too. “No baby. No catches.”

Hotch regarded her for another moment then turned to Rossi. “Promise Mr David?”

Dave’s heart cracked a little. “I promise.”

“Okay. How do we decorate the tree?” he walked over on little legs to stare at it in awe, before moving onto the bags. He looked at Garcia for permission to look through and when she nodded, he smiled so brightly that Dave wanted to freeze the moment and live in it forever.

Garcia turned to Dave. “Rossi, I-”

“Don’t. Not now. He’s very perceptive. Aaron, we can decorate it however you want. You’re too small to put some of the stuff on, but if you tell us, we’ll do it for you. You can do the branches that are lower down.”

Aaron dropped the tinsel. “However I want?”

Garcia nodded. “It’s your tree.”

Aaron grinned and immediately started dragging all the decorations that he wanted to use towards the tree. Both adults got the hint and stood up, walked over to him and started talking about where the best place to put the various items was.

JJ and Derek came in halfway through the decorating process. Aaron froze momentarily, but when they both smiled and complimented the very hectic tree he relaxed and carried on like nothing had happened.

Morgan lifted him up so he could put the star on and Hotch let out a childish squeal that none of them were ever going to let him forget, and just like that, the tree was done. There was tinsel in all the colours of the rainbow draped over random branches, and baubles hanging off every available surface. The lights were wrapped around each section, going the opposite way to the tinsel and the star at the top was crooked. In Dave’s honest opinion, it looked horrific. But Aaron’s smile and pride in his creation made it beautiful.

When Spencer joined them, right before they started making the cookies, Aaron went into shy mode and hid behind Dave’s legs, peering out from behind him to see Spencer joking with Morgan and Penelope.

“Do you want to go and say hi to Mr Spence?” JJ asked gently.

Aaron shook his head. “Last time he was here, I ran away so I don’t think he wants to be my friend.”

JJ looked shocked. “Of course he wants to be your friend! He gets why you ran away, it’s okay darling. You don’t believe me? Okay. Hold my hand, and I’ll show you how much Spencer wants to be your friend. Come on, let’s go.”

He looked doubtful, but Hotch liked and trusted JJ so he stopped hiding and went over to where Spencer was.

“Hotch! Hi there!” Spencer greeted.

Hotch looked up at JJ who smiled encouragingly.

“Mr Spencer, are you angry at me for running away?” he asked.

Spencer frowned. “No. Of course not. I was a little bit upset, because I thought you didn’t like me, but now I get why you ran away and it’s okay. We’re still best friends forever right?”

Hotch nodded, face very serious. “Forever.”

“Well now that’s been established, lets make some cookies,” Derek said.

“You just want to eat mine,” Garcia scoffed.

“I’d rather eat something else of-”

Garcia hit him. “Not in front of baby Hotchner.”

“Miss Penny? When is Miss Emily going to be here?” he asked.

As if on cue, the door swung open to reveal her. “You really shouldn’t keep the spare key under your doormat. Anyone could just waltz in.”

Hotch threw himself into her arms and she stumbled back slightly. “Oh hello child.”

He looked up at her, cheeks slightly flushed. “Hello Miss Emmy. We’re going to make cookies.”

She smiled. “I love cookies. Do you?”

He nodded. “Miss Penny made some a week ago, but these are going to be special because they’re Christmas cookies. She decorated the tree as well, but I got to tell her what to do. Come and see it!” he said without breathing before dragging her to see it.

The others just shrugged, not willing to dampen his spirits.

“I love him as a kid,” Derek commented as they watched him explain the tree in extensive detail.

Baking cookies consisted of Garcia telling the others what to do and then doing it for them because they couldn’t do it right and Aaron giggling at all of them for being silly. His eyes lit up when Garcia gave him the bowls and a spoon before telling him to eat the cookie dough.

He watched the oven very intently. Reid sat beside him, and before anyone knew what was happening, Hotch was running over to them and asking if they wanted to hear what Dr Spencer- not Mr- had taught him.

Garcia let him decorate a whole batch. More icing ended up on his poor countertops and Aaron’s clothes than on the actual cookie, but if you didn’t look too closely, his reindeer and snowman actually looked like they were the things they were meant to be. And then Derek let him have two, which led to Spencer chasing him all over the mansion- not the house- to burn off the energy.

After several hours, they both collapsed on the couch. Aaron climbed into Garcia’s lap, eyes bright and cheeks red.

“I had so much fun Miss Penny!” he exclaimed.

“I’m so happy for you. Do you want a hot chocolate? We can put… marshmallows and cream and cinnamon in it,” she said.

He smiled. “Please Miss Penny.”

“Okay kiddo. One hot chocolate coming right up.”

He settled onto the couch, nestled in between Dave and Penelope when she came back and handed him the mug, full to the brim with cream and other assorted toppings that were definitely going to ruin his teeth.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever had,” he whispered to her, as though it was a very important secret.

“Even better than Mr David’s spaghetti?” she teased.

Aaron paled and seriously considered her question for a few moments before giving the slightest nod. Garcia squealed then went silent when Dave shot her a strange look. It was halfway through Nativity! that Aaron drifted off, the events of the day finally catching up to him.

Derek was the only one able to carry him up without waking him, so the moment they all realised he was indeed sleeping, they switched the film off. Whilst Derek took the sleeping Hotch to Dave’s guest room that they were going to redecorate as soon as possible, Emily grabbed the first book off the pile and followed. The rest stayed downstairs to wrap the presents that Garcia had left in her car, just in case.

Upstairs, Derek and Emily were watching Aaron sleep. Emily read him Stick Man, deciding it was the best story they could have picked.

“He’s so small,” she whispered.

“He shouldn’t be,” Derek said, switching Aaron’s nightlight on before stepping out the room, leaving the door slightly open.

Emily sighed. “Why are we so full of sadness on Christmas Eve?”

Derek wrapped an arm around her. “It’ll all be fine. There. Optimism.”

She rolled her eyes but smiled at him fondly. “Let’s just go help the others wrap, and by that I mean eat the mince pies meant for Santa.”

It was Derek’s turn to roll his eyes.

Dave woke Aaron up slightly later than normal, deeming the events of the previous night reason enough to let him sleep in.

“Merry Christmas little one,” Dave said.

“It’s Christmas?” Aaron said.

Dave nodded. “And I want you to come and see something. You don’t need to get dressed or anything like that. Actually, do you need to pee?”

Aaron nodded, so Dave let him go.

When he came back, Dave stood, ready to just go downstairs when he picked up on Aaron’s hesitance.

“What is it?”

Aaron stared at the carpet for a few moments.

“Little one, you can tell me.”

Aaron didn’t say anything but made grabby hands.

Dave smiled. “Of course.” He picked Aaron up, regretting it almost immediately but only setting him down when they were about to go into the living room.

“Close your eyes. I promise you it’s a good surprise.”

He only hesitated for a moment before complying and walking in, both hands covering his eyes that were almost certainly squeezed shut.

“Open your eyes,” he said, flicking the light on at the same moment that Aaron did.

“Merry Christmas baby Hotchner!” Garcia shouted.

The others chimed in with their own festive greetings.

Aaron seemed overwhelmed, so Spencer went and knelt beside him, explaining exactly what they were going to do, which calmed him down as he started smiling and seemed very excited for all the presents that were under the tree and addressed to him.

Hours later, when Aaron was resting his head on Spencer’s lap so his hair would be played with, Jessica and Jack arrived, having left her dad’s house early. They watched the scene play out from the doorway, smiling when Dave walked over. He nodded in acknowledgement, not wanting to disturb the scene they were all watching.

“He looks so relaxed,” Jack said.

“I still can’t get over how well you’re taking this,” Jessica admitted.

He shrugged. “I’m just trying to not think about it too much. If it means Dad is going to smile and have some better memories, then I’ll choose to focus on that instead.”

Dave smiled at that. They would worry about the cure later. For now, they would give Aaron some better memories.

When they were winding down for the day, Aaron went up to Dave and Penelope, Spencer holding his hand as the two of them were Best Friends Forever and had to do everything together- Aaron’s words.

“Mr David? Miss Penny?”

They paused in their washing/drying duties and turned to face him so he knew he had their full attention.

“Yes?” Penelope said.

“This was the best Christmas ever.”

Penelope scooped her into his arms, and when the others realised they were hugging a definitely touch-starved Aaron, they all came running over and in that moment, there was no evil or bad in the world because for the first time, child Aaron Hotchner felt completely and utterly safe.

[jetaime-jespere]

hello, just wanted to say i’m loving reading all your thoughts on the potential revival! i’ve been a fan for years now as well, and hotchniss was my 12 year old self’s first ship so they hold a special place in my heart - i completely understand the feeling of not wanting to be let down again!

part of me doesn’t want to get too excited until we have a full confirmation of what’s happening and even then, i feel like the writers have done their fair share of hinting at them having something but then never following through...

all of that aside though, part of me’s also really hopeful - like you’ve said, i do think it would be a really perfect way to give their storylines some closure and give their characters the happiness they deserve. but knowing cm the chances of any of this happening is slim. cry :(

also i fully agree with wanting to see some reference to their previous little ‘things’ - i always think about that moment in season 5 (i forget the episode, but it’s when morgan’s acting unit chief and hotch takes on the unsub without backup) and we get that little flirty ‘what?’ ‘nothing...’ moment. i know it’s an odd one to pick, but i’ve always wondered why the writers included it - it always seemed like a weird moment to put in unless you were actually going for the flirting angle. sooo.... 👀

anyways sorry for the ridiculously long ask, i just have a lot of feelings about this and i’m absolutely living for your commentary!

Hi! 🙂 First, thank you so much - it’s been fun to think about the possibilities, because they also hold a very special place in my heart too. I loved them back when S5 aired on TV and when Paget left in s6 I was devastated, and then all over again a year later. (this is why I have trust issues.)  Anyway! - Oh, yes. I completely agree. The writers definitely teased it for years only to fail miserably at delivering with anything. I don’t know about you, but I do think Hotchniss was going to be endgame in the s3-s5 days because some of the little things you mentioned - the episode is The Eyes Have It, I believe - I also love that moment : ) and I agree - what was the point if they weren’t going that route, because that was such a random scene to include. Definitely not odd at all -  there have been others along the way - I mean, don’t even get me started on the divorce papers from s3, his reaction during Minimal Loss in s4, the hospital scenes in s5. It all made sense, and those are the moments I would love to see addressed in the revival - because it was hinted at forever! And even after TG left, Emily was the one Scratch went after, the one who refused to give up anything. I don’t want to get my hopes up at all, because CM has disappointed me a few too many times and I know better. But, I do want them to get their happy moment. Also let’s not forget TG made a whole cameo about Hotchniss. And ask away, anytime! I could discuss these two for days and I love hearing what others have to say! Thank you - I love all of your thoughts, and agree with everything you said! 

[onthepageoftears]

Kill Your Darlings Ch. 16 (Jaskier x Assassin!Reader) || Witcher

a/n: Hey everyone. To be honest, I feel kind of weird posting this. I contemplated if I should post this chapter this week for a while, but ultimately decided to do so (which…is how you’re reading this). If you haven’t already seen, I’ve reblogged some sources regarding black lives matter and what you can do to help. Still, I want to put some resources in this post as well. This website (linked here) has good places to educate yourself, donate, and sign petitions. If you can’t donate, you can watch videos like these (here, here, and here) with your adblocker off, and all of the ad money will go to blm organizations. I really encourage you to contribute in some way — anything helps.

As always, enjoy the chapter, and stay safe out there if you plan on protesting!

Your comments and feedback are always encouraged and mean a lot to me!

Summary: Burying the past won’t keep it there forever.

Warnings: mentions of blood/death/murder/killing, gore, angsty reflections lol, spoilers for season 1 ep 1, language

Words: 3,050

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

Jaskier was probably the fussiest person you’d ever met.

You’d known it before, of course. He was particular about what taverns you stayed in, pouting when you and Geralt chose one he didn’t like. Despite his messiness with clothes, he was selective on what he actually wore, what doublets went with what trousers, and so on. But even with all his fussiness, you never thought he would be fussy over someone else. Let alone, you.

As you gathered your things for the next journey, he stood beside you like your own shadow, making sure you didn’t fall or sway or breathe slightly out of rhythm. You almost punched him in the face when he offered to put your knives away for you, when the sheaths were already secure on your body. He got the hint when you sent him a simple, but effective, glare.

To be fair, he was the one who tended your wounds, so he saw how much damage had been done. But he didn’t realize it was nothing you hadn’t felt before, and it certainly wasn’t something that was going to stop you. Still, he was especially cautious after you explained that you needed to go after the same bandit group that took Lilla (at least, from what you’d assumed). You tried to argue that it would not only be another adventure for his songs, but it would clear up why this person — Hotch — was after him.

Sure, Jaskier and your still-fresh wounds couldn’t stop you…but they could slow you down. Jaskier insisted you all wait for the morning to go out again, leaving you to groan in frustration when Geralt agreed. You grumbled to yourself as you threw your stuff by the door, to be ready for the early morning traveling. You didn’t bother hiding your annoyance as Jaskier changed your bandages for you and practically scolded you to get some sleep. But despite your irritation and unrest, eventually, you did.

—

You were sitting in the grass, under the stars. Everything was quiet. Calm.

“They shine brighter when you’re out here to look at them.” You turned your head, smiling at the playful grin on your father’s face. “I’m serious,” he said, turning back to the sky. “They’re here for you.”

You giggled, and though you knew it wasn’t true, you let it slide. But instead of looking at the stars, your eyes stayed on your father, whose own eyes widened in — fear?

You watched as his mouth opened and a scream spilled out, making you whip your head back towards the sky.

You gasped at the sight. The stars were falling, plummeting, towards you. You instinctively lifted your arms to cover your face, a shriek leaving your lips. But after a few moments, nothing happened. When you looked out from behind your arms, the stars were gone. And so was your father.

You sat up in the grass, shifting your gaze to the field around you. You were in your childhood village, but everything was gone. There was only one house a good distance away — it was yours. And your father was walking into it with a knife in his hand.

“No,” you whispered, your hand moving to one of your sheaths. Realizing he must have taken your knife, you pushed yourself off the ground and began running towards the house, sprinting, its proximity seeming to get further and further the closer you got.

You pushed forward, eventually making it to the door. You opened it slowly, blinking in surprise when you noticed Lilla standing, her doll clutched in her hands, eyes wide in fear.

You turned your gaze to the side. You saw your father and mother, face down in their own blood. It was a scene you had imagined before — but this time, Rauf’s body was with them. His lifeless eyes stared back at you, mouth slightly ajar in surprise.

You tore your eyes away from him, only then noticing another body. A loud cry from Lilla made you realize it was Toby.

Rushing in front of Lilla to block her view, you gripped her shoulders in your hands, “Lilla, we have to go.” Not waiting for her to respond, you picked her up and ran out of the house, where the field was no longer a field, and rather the road to Novigrad. You didn’t hesitate as you sprinted in the direction of Novigrad’s gates.

It was when you got to the gates that you realized the little girl you had been holding had disappeared. You looked around, eyes wide in bewilderment.

“Y/N.”

You snapped your eyes back to the gates — there, was Jaskier. Only it wasn’t just him. Joneta stood, her arm wrapped tightly around Jaskier’s neck, holding him to her body. She held a knife in the other hand, against his throat. But it wasn’t just a knife. It was yours.

Her lips curled into a devious snarl, “I’ll never stop. And you shouldn’t either.”

You jumped forward,“No!” Somehow, you grabbed Joneta away from Jaskier, pulling her to your own chest. With one swift motion, you took the knife from her hand and slid it across her throat, the sound of her chokes echoing in the night.

Only it wasn’t her chokes. The sound was deeper, like—

You turned the person around, eyes widening when you realized it was Jaskier. It was Jaskier whose throat was slit. It was Jaskier that you killed.

Your knife clattered to the ground. “No.”

—

Your eyes shot open as you woke up to the recently rising sun pouring through the windows, and Jaskier gently strumming his lute.

You sighed in relief as you got up — you hadn’t dreamt that vividly in a while. You knew none of it was real, or course, but seeing Jaskier alive and well made your heart slow to a normal pace. It didn’t stop your frustration that he let you sleep in when you should have been on the road already, but the snide remarks you were going to make died on your tongue when you stood, pain shooting up your leg as a reminder of the night before.

It was a slow morning, slower than any of the others you had spent with Geralt and Jaskier. It was mostly your fault — you were forced to limp to avoid the pain of your injuries. If Jaskier hadn’t insisted on helping you walk, it might’ve taken a lot longer just to get to your horses.

Right — horses. Roach was no longer a lone stallion — with your still healing leg and the extra weight of Joneta’s body, you needed to get another horse. Jaskier didn’t even complain about using most of his saved coin on the steed, but he did insist on getting to ride it with you.

After you got out of the city of Novigrad, Geralt followed behind you, which you were glad for. You didn’t need to see Joneta’s lifeless body on the back of his horse, even if it was wrapped in sheets.

And for once, you were glad for Jaskier’s distractive company.

“So, where were you thinking?” He practically whispered in your ear as he sat behind you, his voice sending tingles along your skin. You had to force back a shudder, trying to focus on holding your new horses’ reigns — Buttercup, you and Jaskier decided upon. Well, mostly Jaskier. He insisted on having the final say for the name, and you didn’t blame him — especially since he paid for it. And although Buttercup wasn’t exactly…an audacious sounding name, it had a nice ring to it.

You sighed at the bard’s question, “For?”

“Burying Joneta.”

Your body went stiff. In his presence and once infuriating antics, you were able to push the real situation out of your head — you were able to relax, even if it was just for a moment. But in reality, you were not only on your way to bury the friend that you killed yourself, but also towards a bandit camp that you had no official plan for invading.

But recently, it didn’t seem like you had a plan for anything.

You sighed, letting your shoulders drop once more, “Somewhere in the forest. We’ll find it on the way, I’m sure.”

Jaskier breathed in, as if choosing his words carefully. “But…there’s nowhere special? Like…a place you two would hang out, or…gossip about all the…ravishing targets you had to kill at the blade of your own knives?”

Blade of your own knives. You shook the thought away, simultaneously ignoring the inevitable smile that was probably on Jaskier’s face. “No. We didn’t…do things like that.”

“What did you do?” He said after a moment, his voice softer.

You turned your head slightly, looking at him from the corner of your eye. His eyes bore into the side of your face, making you turn back to the road ahead of you.

“We killed,” you said simply, clenching your jaw. And Jaskier didn’t respond.

—

“Should we start?”

Jaskier’s voice didn’t faze you. You were staring at the body on the ground — Joneta’s body. It was wrapped in sheets — probably a lot of them, since you didn’t see any blood seeping through.

The three of you made it to a spot in the forest, where there was a good area to bury a body. It sounded strange to say, but it really was. You hadn’t been looking for a particular spot, but the flowers in the area made you stop Geralt and slide off Buttercup, walking further into the trees. Which was where you found this place. It was a smallish area, big enough for the grave you inevitably had to dig, with trees distant enough and in a strangely circular formation. The flowers around the area were a plus, so you tied up the horses and walked over.

And now you were standing there, with a shovel that somehow made its way into your hand, looking down at the spot Joneta’s body would lay. Forever.

“Y/N?”

“Huh?” You turned away from Joneta’s body, focusing on Jaskier’s concerned eyes. You blinked, finally registering his question, “Oh. Um. No.”

Jaskier frowned, “No?”

“I…need to do this alone.”

Jaskier stepped forward, gesturing to the bandage wrapped tightly around your thigh, “But your leg—“

“I’ll help dig. For a bit.” You were surprised to hear Geralt’s voice, his eyes catching your own when you turned to him. He looked back to Jaskier, nodding to where Buttercup and Roach were tied up, “You go watch the horses.”

Jaskier looked from you to Geralt, his face contorted in confusion. He looked like he wanted to stay, to help, but you shook your head. He slammed his mouth shut, nodding his head slowly.

“Okay. I’ll be…over there.” You watched the bard go, looking back to Geralt only when Jaskier disappeared behind the trees. The witcher’s golden eyes were on yours, making you take a deep breath.

He sent you a nod.

And then you started digging.

It wasn’t easy with your leg. Though you weren’t sure why Geralt stayed, you were glad he did. He was clearly making more progress than you, digging at a speed that could only be explained by his Witcher strength. Whatever that meant.

The two of you worked quietly, only sending each other slight nods or glances as communication. It was refreshing, to hear only the sound of the shovels digging into the dirt, the birds flying from tree to tree, the leaves swaying in the wind. And, of course, Jaskier’s distant singing.

Geralt helped you lower Joneta’s body into the grave, surprising you by how gently he lay it down onto the dirt. He climbed out of the hole wordlessly, only grunting as he stood up. He sent you a curt nod and left you to cover it up. You watched him go until he disappeared past the trees where the horses were, waiting until the very last second to let out a long, quiet sigh.

After a moment, you turned back around. You couldn’t help the pain that formed in your chest as you stepped forward, making yourself look down into the grave.

—

The square was crowded with people, as it usually was. Rauf was on business recruiting people into the fellowship, leaving you to entertain yourself for the day. The best way to do that was to watch people swarm the stands and buy useless items, all while sharpening the knife Rauf finally trusted you with having.

“Hey.”

You didn’t look up. Instead, you focused on the blade in your hands, letting its steel reflect sun rays into your eyes.

“I said, hey.” The person kicked your foot. You scrunched your nose, squinting at the girl who dared bother you.

Her expression was nothing more than bored, “Your uncle told me to find you.” She waited for you to respond. When you didn’t, she rolled her eyes. “Rauf.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t tell me.” She waited a moment, then sat down next to you. “But when I was eavesdropping, he said he wants you to have friends.”

“Psh. I don’t have friends,” you said simply, turning away from the girl beside you.

“That makes two of us.”

—

You tentatively wiped a tear that fell down your face, not bothering to worry about the dirt covering your hands. At this point, it felt like dirt was all you saw. It was all over the ground, sure, and it was now fully covering the place where Joneta’s body was buried — but it was also all over your hands, arms, and now, probably your face too.

You held your hands out in front of you, focusing on the way the dirt was caked under your fingernails. The soil reminded you of blood — Joneta’s blood, how it was covering your nails, your skin, your clothes.

Despite the urge to clean the dirt off, you let your hands fall into your lap and looked back ahead.

“People used to hate witchers.”

You were startled by the voice next to you. Somehow, Geralt managed to walk over and stand beside you without you noticing. He didn’t bother acknowledging the way you hastily wiped the tears from your face, instead sitting down beside you with a huff, “They’d spit when I walked into a room. Stoned me when I entered a village.”

You blinked, still taken aback by the witcher’s presence aside you. “But now they don’t.”

“No.” He turned to you with a hard gaze, “Ever heard of the Butcher of Blavikan?”

“Only stories,” You murmured. The Butcher of Blavikan was the talk of the guild for a while, but you never really paid much attention. But after a second, your eyes widened with realization. “That was you?”

Geralt only nodded. He looked ahead, his eyes clouding with regret, “I hurt someone. Someone who I thought could have redeemed herself. Could have walked away from the destruction she was causing.”

You cast your eyes downwards, back to the dirt covered ground. You swallowed the lump in your throat, “How did you…you know. Turn it around?”

“Jaskier.”

“Jas—“ You frowned, turning to the witcher with an astonished expression. “What?”

“Jaskier wrote a song.”

You blinked, “He…wrote a song?”

“As bards do.”

You rolled your eyes, a smile playing on your lips, “The coin one.”

He nodded.

You shook your head, astounded by your own ignorance. You had heard the song many times since being with the two, but never listened to it. Knowing Jaskier, he definitely fibbed the stories he went on, or reflected on, but still. You’d have to really listen to the lyrics the next time he played it.

Next time.

Would there be a next time? If all this was over — no, when — where did that leave you? Would you go back to your normal assignments? Travel and hope you would find jobs on notice boards, like a witcher?

Geralt’s voice broke through your thoughts. “It’s never easy to kill one of your own.”

One of your own. You turned to him, “Had much experience?”

“Too much.” He waited a moment before continuing. “The right choices are often the hardest. But the hardest choices…you often don’t know if they’re right.”

You watched him for a second, a smirk forming on your face before you could help it. You snorted, “You sound like a...stubbornly wise wizard.”

Geralt only chuckled. You squinted your eyes at him, an amused smile falling on your face. It was strange to see him acting this way — showing emotion. It was almost like…he trusted you.

You scoffed at the thought, making him turn to you with a questioning gaze. You shook your head, “Just thinking about when we first met. When you tried following me to my guild.”

His face went back to being serious, “I trust you now."

You laughed louder this time, “Says the person who followed me again.” Geralt’s eyes widened like he’d been caught redhanded. You’d only found out that Geralt had followed you to your new guild this morning, when Jaskier let it slip. It made sense why Geralt hadn’t been at the inn when...Joneta happened. At the witcher’s frown, you held back a smile and jutted your head behind you, where the very bard was still out of sight.

Geralt grunted, “Bard can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“And you can’t keep your witchery nose out of other people’s business.”

Geralt paused, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. As quickly as the surprise was there, it was overtaken by a smug smile. “Jaskier is getting to you.”

You smirked and shook your head. In more ways than one.

“I do trust you now,” he said once the smiles fell from your faces. You turned away from him, back to the grave in front of you.

“I know.” A sigh escaped your lips as something clenched at your heart. You placed a hand on the dirt in front of you and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath in and out before opening them again. Joneta’s body may be here, but she would always be with you. Like Geralt’s past was never forgotten, was immortalized in countless songs, you would always remember your own. And you’d have to live with it.

You stood up off the ground, looking down at the witcher with a determined frown, “Now let’s go take down this fucking bandit camp.”

———————————————————————————————————

Lots more Geralt in this chapter, hope y’all enjoyed! Stay safe as always  :)

[bucky-smiles]

Just Let Me Explain

Throwback to season 6 when JJ had to declare that Emily was dead except in my version, it’s going to be the reader declaring Emily dead. I know that I am in no way original with this concept so I’m going to make it original and say that the reader and Spencer are already in a relationship when this happens. This entire thing is going to range from the moment of declaration to the case in Oklahoma when Reid is being the passive aggressive bean that he is. 

I didn’t realize how long this was, sorry. It legit took my two hours and once I started typing, I just lost all track of time. Also don’t get mad at me for this thing bc it’s highkey just ajdfrenfhncghalf if you get what I mean. It’s two in the morning soooooo. I think Hotch is slightly OOC in this but he’s barely mentioned so it cancels out :3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Emily’s death, angst, mentions of drug use, mentions of blood

I hope y’all enjoy my second one shot :)

(I couldn’t find that gif of him doing the whole ‘watchu gon do about it’ gesture to JJ so enjoy this cute thing. GIF CREDS TO THE OWNER :))

You knew this was wrong. 

Right away when Hotch came to you with the orders, you knew that this wasn’t going to end well. But when you and Spencer had first got together 8 months ago, you both swore that your relationship wouldn’t get in the way of work and Hotch was using that to make sure you did exactly as you were ordered. So of course, being the perfect agent that you are, you put on your sad look and let your eyes well up with tears as you entered the waiting room where your team, including your boyfriend, sat. They all rose at the sight of you and Spencer immediately knew that something was wrong, “Y/N?” His voice was quiet as he waited for you to deliver the news. 

You cleared your throat a little as you glanced at him and then at the rest of the team, “She never made it off the table.” You couldn’t give yourself away and you knew that. So you never kept your eyes in one place for too long, you observed and felt guilt at seeing how everyone believed you. It broke your heart to see the tears and reaction of your team- your family. But a job was a job and you knew that. 

When Spencer made a move for the door, you instinctively grabbed him arm with a gentle touch, “Spence...” You couldn’t say more.. You knew that your voice would betray you if you did. Your heart nearly shattered upon hearing his next words.

“I never got a chance to say goodbye.”

You let out a quiet breath and pulled the man you love close to you. It was a way to comfort him over the ‘loss’ of a friend and a way to assuage your growing guilt. You didn’t sign up to see your boyfriend break down... That wasn’t part of the job description. 

When the two of you arrived to the apartment you both share, you had an arm around his waist as a sign of support and when you let go to close the apartment door behind you, Spencer left your grasp and moved to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. A small sigh escaped your lips as you followed behind him. Seeing him like this was pure torture and as of now, you’d do anything to make him feel better. 

A Few Weeks Later: 

“I just.. If we’d been quicker to find her, she’d probably still be alive right now.” 

You angle your head so that you’re looking at Spencer. It’d been a few weeks since the lie had been told and the guilt had yet to go away. Spencer still had so much regret in his heart and was coming up with all of these situations in which she would’ve survived. They usually always came up when the two of you were in bed. Tonight was no different and seeing him like this made you want to tell him everything, but you made Hotch a promise and telling him could compromise Emily’s situation. You lean onto your side, propping yourself up on one elbow while using your free hand to cup his cheek, “Don’t do that to yourself, Spencer.. What happened happened and no what if situation can bring her back.. No matter how much we want it.” You remained as quiet as you could, your voice not going above a quiet tone. You tried being comforting but all you could hear was your guilt and that gave you a feeling that had you sick to your stomach. 

“I miss her so much, Y/N. Every time we go into the office and pass by her portrait I-” He cuts himself off, his voice breaking at the end as he begins crying once more. 

You lay down again, bringing him to your chest as you hug him tightly. You were crying too because seeing him like his tore you apart piece by piece. “I miss her too, Spence.” You tried comforting him the best you could, whispering quiet nothings into his ear, rubbing his back gently, letting him soak your nightshirt with his tears. Eventually, he fell asleep but you were there wide awake, wondering what you’d gotten yourself into and how this was going to change everything once the truth came out. 

Everyday when the two of you entered the  BAU building, you’d both stop in front of her portrait and have a quiet moment. You could feel the judgement coming from Emily’s eyes as you watched her unmoving face. Time would pass and you’d take Spencer’s hand, leading him to the Bullpen before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek and going to your own desk. You’d offer small smiles to your team members and when case debriefing would happen, you’d be sure to sit by Spencer and hold his hand under the table. The guilt had slowly began going away. The special trick was repeating a phrase like a mantra until you believed it, Emily is dead and whatever you’re doing is for the sake of the team. They’ll understand if the truth ever comes out. Oh, if only you were right. 

The Reveal:

You were walking down the hallway when Hotch approached you. His beard was still a look you were getting used to and you offered a small smile to him as he approached you. 10 weeks and your guilt had transformed into a dull throb that you’d gotten used to over time. The circumstances had made the pain more stabbing but nonetheless, you were toughing through it one step at a time. Your small smile dropped, of course, when Hotch told you it was time. 

Time for the reveal. Time for the team to find out they’d been lied to.  Time for them to find out that you lied to them. 

When you stood by Hotch’s side with your hand clasped behind your back, you kept your eyes trained straight ahead. Never once did you look at any single member of your team. You could feel Spencer’s eyes on you when Hotch was talking and you could practically hear the hurt and betrayal come out of him when the truth was revealed. But of course, that guilt was forgotten when Emily was seen standing at the doorway.

When the hugs and reunion were done, you grabbed Spencer’s hand, holding him in his spot before whispering, “Let me explain, Spence..” He pulled away at your words, going to the seat in between of JJ and Derek. You gulped a little, swallowing your tears as you sat at the opposite side of the table, glancing at him on occasion with the hope that he’d look at you.

It didn’t work. 

The two of you worked the rest of the case involving Declan and Doyle like you did any other, but it wasn’t the same because Spencer only interacted with you when absolutely necessary. 

It hurt.  It hurt a lot. But you pushed through it for the sake of the child whose life was in danger. 

Sadly, like when all cases end, the two of you went home. Spencer had left the building only moments before you, but by the time you reached the parking garage, he’d driven right past you without even glancing at you. Thankfully, you were able to get a ride with Emily who dropped you off home. When you entered the apartment, the lights were out and you slowly made your way to your’s and Spencer’s bedroom. He wasn’t there. Quickly, you pulled out your phone and texted JJ to ask if she had any knowledge of his whereabouts. 

Y/N: Is he with you?

JJ: Yeah, he’s here. He brought his go-bag and it’s packed for quite a bit of time. 

The text caused tears to well up in your eyes and you quickly typed out a response,

Y/N: Take care of him, please.. 

JJ: I’ve got him, don’t worry. 

You accepted what you had and proceeded to prepare for bed. It was hard to get to sleep, but cuddling with one of Spencer’s pillows gave you the comfort you needed and helped you get a couple of hours. 

The Oklahoma Case:

Working with Spencer the past couple of days has been hell. 

You take the bus to work and you always try to initiate some sort of conversation with him. But he ignores you and simply brushes past you to get to his desk. When Garcia was doing the briefing of the latest case, you took the seat by him and he simply moved from his current seat to a different, open one. You let your head hang in shame for a few minutes, calming down before looking up at Garcia expectantly. 

On the jet, you sat by Emily who was obviously trying to make you feel better. She felt some guilt to because the problems that were occurring were partially because of her. You made her promise not to blame herself and when Hotch paired you and Spencer to go to the abduction site, you wanted to melt into your seat. 

The tension between you two was so thick at the abduction site that it could’ve been cut through with a knife. Any suggestion you had was immediately met by a passive aggressive comment from Spencer. 

Spencer started off as the two of you approached the bus stop, “So, Beth got off the bus here and headed northwest toward class.” He let his hands do part of the talking as he pointed towards the bus stop and then towards northwest. 

Attempting to be useful, you pitched in, “It’s amazing that no one saw her abduction.”

Reid simply shrugged and spoke with a high level of bitterness in his tone, “Emily was buried six feet under and wound up in Paris, so I guess anything is possible, right?” You stiffened slightly, “Spencer you’ve got to let me ex-”

He cut you off as you tried defending yourself, “You know, maybe our UnSub's a little bit like Bundy and he feigned an injury in order to get her to help him.”

You began speaking again but before one syllable had escaped you lips, Spencer cut you off again, “Maybe he tried another tactic. and was like, ‘Wow, you're really pretty. You should be a model. I can take your photo.’”

You didn’t say anything after that. You simply let him talk out his ideas while watching him with a look of both attentiveness and guilt. 

At the station, you finally sucked it up and tried explaining yourself in the office, “Spencer I had to do my job.” You could hear your voice breaking as you began and Spencer was quick to shoot you down.

“Yeah and you did a great job at that. Was it easy? Hm, Y/N? Was it easy for you to lie to me every second that we were together? I cried into your chest for 10 weeks! 10 weeks and you gave me all of that comfort.. Was that a lie too?”

Your eyes widen at that accusation and you’re quick to shake your head, “What?! Of course not, Spence! I love you and every moment I was lying to you was nothing but torture to me! Most of my tears were over what this was doing to you, not that Emily had left us!” 

You’d grabbed his arms while you spoke, desperate for him to understand you.. But he was quick to pull away, “How can I know that that wasn’t a lie, hm? It’s all you’ve done for the past 10 weeks. What if I started taking dilaudid again, hm?”

At the mention of the drug that’d nearly ruined Spencer’s life, you stiffened before proceeding to speak with a hesitant tone, “But you didn’t... Right?”

He scoffed a little, shaking his head as he backed out of the room, “No.. But I thought about it.” He walked out before you could apologize and you felt the waterworks coming through. 

After the Case:

Thankfully, you didn’t cry when Spencer had left the room. You simply put on a strong face and worked the case like you did any other. You could hear Hotch trying to stand up for you to fix whatever’d happened, but you knew it wasn’t going to work. You thought the same thing when Emily approached Spencer on the plane. Spencer’s back was to you and you were sitting on the opposite end of the plane so you couldn’t figure out what he was saying. Eventually, you gave up at figuring anything out and turned back to your lengthy book, letting your eyes move over each word one by one... You weren’t comprehending anything but the fact that you were doing something helped calm you down. 

At Rossi’s house, you didn’t expect him to show up. You were only there for the wine, if you were being completely honest. Truthfully, you’d given up hope that Spencer would forgive you. The thought of him being mad at you made your heart throb so you simply focused all of your energy on watching Rossi as he cooked. When the doorbell rung, you felt your heart drop into your chest. Emily greeted Reid as did the rest of the team but you kept your back to him. Rossi was about to continue when Spencer interrupted once again, “Actually, before you resume, I was wondering if I could talk to Y/N? Alone?” 

You felt eyes on you and you simply set down your wine glass. He was going to break up with you officially, you knew it. You offered Prentiss a weak smile as you turned to Spencer, “Lead the way, Spencer..” You followed behind him as he took you a couple of hallways down. You braced yourself for what was to come next, keeping your gaze on your feet. To say that you were shocked when Spencer lifted your face by the chin would be an understatement. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.. I was mad and I didn’t mean half of the things that I was saying,” Spencer’s voice is filled with regret as he speaks, his eyes searching yours for any form of negative reaction. Your reaction was simply priceless as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a tight hug. 

“I deserved, it Spencer. I should be the one apologizing to you..” He simply returned your hug tightly, pressing a few gentle kisses to the top of your head as he did. 

“I love you, Y/N Y/L/N” Was all he mumbled quietly to you and you smiled brightly, whispering the same thing back. 

Of course it was Rossi that had to kill your moment, “Are you two lovebirds done there or do we have to continue this without you?”