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frankensteindotpdf · 2 years ago

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i feel like i can only process one of my mental illnesses at a time which is fascinating! both because its wild when i get around to one i havent considered much/in a while and because its hilarious to realize how much i have just straight up not been noticing

#i speak #like holy shit #its the most obvious with social anxiety #which i forget i have #and am like 'ha i have bigger fish to fry'#but then im in a situation where i have to talk to a stranger and im like. oh fuck right. ok.#currently im noticing the tism. its.#mh.#sdfkgdjkgsdgd #its a lot?#its kind of like.#when i realized i had adhd it was such #a relief because it made SO many things make sense #but it was also like seeing a tidal wave coming at you #because you just kinda realize that like. life is not built for you #and people are Not always going to get it #and i have to figure out how to live now because living 'normally' isnt gonna cut it (and never was gonna)#and its the same with the autism #its like. realizing that im not just being ridiculous or whiny about everything #i have sensory issues!!!! and mask SO much!!!! and have issues with communication in a lot of ways #especially face to face WHICH was never a major issues with a lot of my closer friends #because we mainly talked over text where i didnt have to think about my affect or my facial expressions #its. hm. a little scary sdfgdskjgdfgsd #to realize how much youre going to have to ask for accomodations for #its not just me being whiny and unreasonable and not trying hard enough #its me Having Problems im not going be able to Just Get Over and. i need the people around me to be able to understand and want to work with #me on it?#and. for someone who was already a bit concerned about a small pool of options its. ksjdfgnkdsjgksgs not exactly encouraging.

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