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that--funny--feeling · 9 months ago

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Why Existence is the perfect conclusion to TXF: my take on S8

William's storyline is the last X-File of the season (of the entire serie for some) and I think that it contains the essence of the show and the characters and that's why S8 should have been the last one in my opinion.

This analysis will aim to examine both positive and negative factors of S8. I'll try to do my best, but this is also a very personal meta. I ask you to hang on with me, if you can.

S8 overall impressions

I concluded S8 one week ago now and I had time to reflect with a cool head. I still think this is the worst season of the show (if we don't include 9 to 11 and I'm not going to talk about them here and I'd like to keep ignoring them :D ). Mulder's absence heavy influences the season obviously, the atmosphere is tragic and dramatic. It's a bit of a shock for the fans, since the light and fun air we had in season 6 and especially 7. Even though I liked Doggett and Reyes and I'm glad they joined the team, the mytharc episodes were way more then usual and as usual not handled well (starting with Within/Without), also some episodes were really just bad (Badlaa) and other make suffer Scully again and again uselessly (Roadrunners). How many times can Scully be afraid to have a miscarriage? She's pregnant and alone ffs, she had enough. All the fixation on her baby and people who wanted to hurt him or both of them really made me sick at some point.

Mulder's return makes things better, if we ignore his OOC behaviour in Three Words. I get his PTSD and feeling out of place in a world that went on without him. And I expected him to be territorial about the X-Files with Doggett, but he talks to Scully like he resents she's moving out of work because of her pregnancy. He'd be the first one to explode with joy for her (for them both), finding out she's going to have a baby. I'm glad he behaves normally from Empedocles on. Mulder's resurrection in This is not happening/Deadalive is a bit all over the place (they think he's dead but in the end he's not but meanwhile they buried him for three months? And then they need a vaccine for him to not turn into an aline but in the end they don't? O-ok. What's going to think Maggie Scully about all of this? Poor soul) but ok, let's go on.

Scully's pregnancy

Through all the season, we don't exactly know what to think about Scully's pregnancy. She wasn't supposed to have children after her abduction. Then Mulder tells her he found the vial with some of her ova. She takes them to Dr. Parenti and he says she has a chance. We also find out Dr. Parenti seems to be involved in aliens' experiments. In the end IVF doesn't work. So it seems whatever he tried to do with her, he failed, but the question remains: how is possibile for Scully to be pregnant?

Even Mulder doesn't know what to think. And I don't think his confusion is about the who's the daddy stupid topic, but about how it was possibile for her to carry a child in the first place. He's worried someone is using her again and she will suffer again. I don't think he has doubts that, experiments aside, he's the only one that can be the father of that baby. And even though he wasn't the biological one, he'd accept the role as the father all the same.

Aside from that, I think this baby is the first chance in Mulder and Scully's life to find their own normalcy, to start a life aside from work, to step aside from their save-the-world-responsabilities. They suffered enough for a lifetime afterall.

Getting out of the damn car

Mulder isn't in the FBI anymore. Scully is in maternity leave but she's not sure she'll be back. The X-Files were hard to leave behind for both of them, but they realized they would reach an end of the road sooner or later. And the end is now. We see a switch from Mulder's moment of closure about Samantha. He feels free and lighter, the atmosphere in S7 is fun and playful. As I tried to show in my fanvid, I think not only Scully, but Mulder too seeks a simpler life (maybe normalcy wasn't the right term. Neither Mulder nor Scully were ever proper afterall). At the end of S7 they both are getting there:

But even before Mulder's abduction, there's always the dilemma: Mulder's personal quest may be over, but what about looking for the Truth? Unmask the corrupt government and its secrets? This quest is maybe endless and both Mulder and Scully know about it.

Will the duty always be before the personal happiness?

Doggett & Reyes

Here they come, a skeptic and a believer again, to achieve the needed balance. I liked how the writers didn't try to replace Mulder with a similar character. Doggett is way different: he's an old school policeman, he seems reliable and tough. The sheriffs respect him and don't go as far away as possible from him like it happens with some other spooky and weird guy. He has male friends and does manly things. But he's also lonely and he's lost somebody he deeply cared for because of something he can't explain. So he's drawn to the X-Files in more ways than one.

Reyes always smiles and that made me fall for her. She's a breath of fresh air in a dark and melancholic season. She doesn't know well Scully, but she's ready to help, because she trusts Doggett and that's enough for her. She respects Mulder even before knowing him, because Scully does and that's enough for her. She's ready to do everything for a cause that she cares for and her amazement and sense of justice really reminded me of the feeling of the first season.

I adore how Scully and Doggett's trust is built case after case, I love how Scully sees something of herself in him (his need to find practical proofs and his stubborness on not believing the fantastic) and viceversa (Doggett is protective of her and her child because he doesn't want her to go through what happened to him). I love how Scully likes Reyes from day one, because she's fun and weird and she reminds her of her dead sister (this really warms my heart).

I love how Mulder obviously is territorial about his department with Doggett but then starts to respect and trust him enough with the X-Files. I love how Mulder sees how spontaneous and stubborn Reyes is and says she'd be useful in the X-Files.

The way both Mulder and Scully pass the baton to them really does things to me. Because maybe the quest to the truth really is infinite, but they understand they can find people honest and passionate about that just like them. And after all these years, they can rest, knowing that someone is still out there fighting.

William

As I anticipated, many things are said about this baby. He may be an hybrid by the aliens, he may be a supersoldier by the army, he may even be a real miracle by God. But I like to think it's none of these things.

William is really the union of Mulder and Scully. When the IVF fails, Mudler says:

Mulder, the furthest man from religion, says it to Scully, because that's what he does best: he believes. He never gives up no matter what (he neither did when Scully had cancer). He knows she needs to hear it and he needs it too. He's ready to believe in a miracle for her.

I don't think William is a miracle in the christian sense. I think he's a miracle, because it's the most improbable but plausible thing that could happen in a sea of paranormal possibilities. What if there was a 1% chance for Scully to become pregnant in a conventional way and they fell in that 1%? He's the essence of both their genetics and their points of view. What if he is just a normal boy?

Because it's theirs, their baby, their miracle. And if I have to choose what to believe, I want to believe that.

The end.

My TXF posts and videos.

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deathsbestgirl · 9 months ago

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"[Scully] she probably saw her teacher"

WAIT. o.0

SO a long time ago i wrote about scully seeing ghosts, and @chavisory made a really good point/observation. that scully sees ghosts when there's a reason. ahab didn't want to leave things unfinished, elegy she's very close to death, mulder wasn't dead, melissa tells her about emily, albert hosteen tries to help her with mulder, etc. (htgsc they wanted m+s to see them and they had a blast messing with their heads)

but i think it would be different when she's younger. connection would be very important, and generally speaking, children are more likely to see ghosts. i think she had a fairly close relationship with them if she had a special nickname. and if it was a violent end, i think it makes sense a person's spirit would reach out to someone who can see them. especially someone who would one day go on to be a doctor & work at the fbi. (i would also think this influenced her choices, the first time she understood there was real evil in the world.)

devil's advocate kind of solidified this for me. (although they pretend you don't get ~abilities til teen years, which is just. not true.) scully has visions & dreams of the kids who died. her grandmother is only lucid for short periods of time, and i think scully would have seen her grandmother too. as a last goodbye.

ANYWAY. i just think it makes sense that she would have. i've said i like to think melissa used the song to help her, but i think it's more likely it was her teacher.

#asks #foggy posts #dana scully #ghosts #the x files

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deathsbestgirl · 9 months ago

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the very end of this just SHATTERED me:

What I find most fascinating about Melissa's character is that the development of her bond with Scully builds, not lessens, as the years roll on: the nuanced angles of their relationship aren't fully revealed until Season 5’s A Christmas Carol; and the lessons that have nibbled since their father’s death in Beyond the Sea are recontextualized each time Melissa's influence stretches out from the grave to save her sister from rigidly unyielding scientific explanations or excuses.

Some day, after years of confusion and misinterpretation, her pleas will be able to be heard and will, at last, help her sister achieve peace.

i think this is one of the most beautiful things the show did. scully gets a message from ahab when she's in a coma in one breath (similar to mulder & his father in the blessing way). but with melissa, she doesn't get that. but missy's presence is still felt, her influence on scully outlives her. scully is always trying to reach melissa, to feel her. melissa is always guiding her, and as scully moves further on her path (with mulder), allows herself to learn more about what happened during her abduction/because of her abduction (something melissa wanted her to do shortly before her death), like with emily and the red & the black...every step brings her close to melissa.

when you lose someone close to you, you lose a big piece of you. a lot of grief is trying to hold onto it, to find it again. life has a funny way of doing this. the ways you become more like your parents & siblings, even in their absence. the ways they've touched you never really go away. it's about learning new ways to connect. i think melissa is a big part of scully's and mulder's spiritual journeys. i love that she's the one who tells scully "you don't know who you're going to meet when you join the fbi. you don't know how your life is going to change or how you're going to change the life of others" — but somehow, i think melissa had a very good idea of how life changing the fbi would be for dana. the way she talks to dana in the blessing way said a whole lot. how scully's connection to mulder is so strong and he's all over her. she knew in one breath too.

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XII): Prophecy, Death, and the Question of Fate

Melissa Scully's death is upon us; but I must make a slight meander to point out the unexpected impact she leaves on her sister's disbelieving-believing partner, Mulder.

As mentioned in previous meta posts (here), Melissa acts as intercessor in One Breath-- the conduit of Scully's inner voice that was consecutively silenced, reanimated, and reburied under tightly packed layers of rationality-- steering Maggie Scully's indecision into respecting her daughter's predetermined medical decisions and chastising Mulder's vengeance into honoring his partner's dignity with a final goodbye.

Mulder, who'd lost his way after losing his partner, flailed from anger to dejection to revenge to truth; and, by heeding Melissa's wisdom and doing what he knew to be right, was rewarded with a recovered self-worth and reawakened Scully. That experience began Mulder's own spiritual journey, concurrent to but widely different from Scully's own; and culminated in his salvation from vengeance and "rebirth" on the Navajo astral plane. Although his peace is destroyed in Paper Clip, the changes begun during that experience continue to bloom and grow, opening new possibilities that help to, effectively, fill in the hollow of Melissa's loss. "Fate," he repeats at the end of episode, an unwitting echo of Melissa's "There is no right or wrong-- life is... just a path" and a far cry from his angry resistance in previous conversations with the deceased Scully sister.

MELISSA, THE NAVAJO, AND "LIFE IS JUST A PATH"

As Scully is interrogating Skinner, Melissa scurries up to her sister's apartment, pulls out her own key (which means Scully must give copies to her trusted loved ones), and walks inside... to an ambush.

Albert Hosteen’s monologue sets up the mythological backbone of Paper Clip, Melissa's sacrifice and death, and the nature of direct faith working through Mulder and Scully to bring about change and "rebirth" for all.

"To the Navajo, the earth and its creatures have great influence over our existence. The stories passed from generation to generation help us to understand the reason for our tears of sadness and our tears of joy. Animals like the bear, the spider and the coyote are powerful symbols to our people.

"When the F.B.I. man Mulder was cured by the holy people, we were reminded of the story of the Gila monster, who symbolizes the healing powers of the medicine man. In this myth, the Gila monster restores a man by taking all his parts and putting them back together. His blood is gathered by ants, his eyes and ears by sun, his mind by Talking God and Pollen Boy. Then lightning and thunder bring the man back to life.

"At the end of the ceremony, when the F.B.I. man had been healed, we heard the news from other Native Americans in the northern plains that a great event had taken place. Like the Navajo, these people have their own stories and myths. One of these stories tells of the white buffalo woman who came down from the heavens and taught the Indians how to lead virtuous lives and how to pray to the creator. She told the people she would return one day, then she turned into a white buffalo and ascended into the clouds, never to be seen again. But on this day, when the holy people had given the F.B.I. man a miracle, a white buffalo was born and every Native American knew, whether he believed the story or not, that this was a powerful omen and that great changes were coming."

Mulder talks later with Scully about “fate”; and Scully, too wounded to decode metaphors and miracles, focuses on the loss of her sister instead.

The White Buffalo Woman had ascended with the promise to return again; and that return is-- to the neighboring tribe-- symbolized by the birth of a rare white calf. Its birth, however, comes at the cost of its mother's life; and the episode is not shy about drawing the parallel between either Mulder's or Scully's salvation (or both) and Melissa's doom (which will be discussed further below~.)

MAGGIE SCULLY AND GRIEF: REDUX

Maggie sweeps into the hospital under the assumption that it was Dana, not Melissa, who had been injured. This begs a theory:

Maggie had been alerted by either Scully’s building manager or neighbors, since the hospital had not called her (or, at least, not as Melissa's emergency contact.)

Maggie must have made connections or even friends with the people in Scully’s building to keep an eye out and let Maggie know if (or when) another terrible incident occurred.

If that is the case, when did Maggie and the neighbors become contacts, before or after Scully’s abduction? We know Mulder arrived late to the scene in Ascension (having driven home after a late night at the office, listened to the voicemail, and booked it back out to Scully's) but he still beat Maggie to her daughter’s place-- meaning, Maggie was alerted then by the police and not the curious, watchful, or nosy neighbors. My guess? She made connections during Scully’s disappearance while coming to clean and watch over her youngest daughter’s apartment between October 13th and November 11th (Scully’s abduction dates here.)

Another touch that bolsters this theory: Maggie does not rush to the front desk upon arrival, running instead to the nearest doctor and asking him for information: “Uh, pardon me, my daughter was brought here late last night.” Not only was she not alerted for hours, Maggie was not even called at all, it seems; because her clarification was for “Dana Scully”, not “Melissa Scully.”

The doctor sympathetically explains that the patient was her a Melissa, not Dana, Scully; and compassionately relays the diagnosis and surgery procedures while Maggie, shocked into inarticulation, slowly shakes her head as reality clashes with what she believed to be true.

After being personally escorted to Melissa’s room, Maggie drifts to her daughter’s bedside, dazed and horrified, wobbling out a “Missy? It’s Mom…” announcement.

The doctor walks back to her side, detailing a bit of the “drastic” measures he and the medical team opted to do in light of the severity of the injury: coma. At “coma”, Maggie whips her head around but refrains from further comment, listening to the full explanation before relaxing her rigid posture and leaving the situation in capable hands.

And then, while the doctor asks the nurse to fetch a chair, Mrs. Scully begins to fall apart, repressing her sobs but not her violent shakes and unchecked tears.

I've discussed grief and the Scullys different reactions to it here and here; but suffice to say, it's still interesting to note how each Scully woman grieves: Scully, alone; Maggie, leaning heavily on someone for support; and Melissa, providing support and harshly necessary advice. In hindsight, it's easy to see why Maggie married her late husband-- a rock she could always cling to-- and how that hole in her life naturally fell to either Dana or Bill to claim and fill (as will be discussed in future meta on Seasons 4 and 5.) In the opposite direction, Scully grew up as “the strong one” (a compliment Maggie gave to her, not her two sons), shadowing her father's example by internalizing her feelings completely, equating strength with denial of “weakness” or pain. That, in turn, drew her to Mulder and Mulder to her, each recognizing in the other a mutual coping mechanism and feeling safe enough to let down some of their emotional barricades in times of crisis.

When Scully is told about the shooting second-hand from Frohike,

she bolts, making a blind dash for the exit until Mulder catches up with and reasons her out of her first, irrational instinct: to run blindly forward in a frenzied attempt to prevent disaster or death at all costs.

Scully continues a childhood pattern established in A Christmas Carol and introduced in Beyond the Sea: death is her fault-- the rabbit she’d tried to protect from her older brother suffocated, the exacting captain died disappointed with his little Starbuck, the wayward partner slipped from her grasp to his preventable death; and now, her innocent sister takes an ugly, black bullet that was while on a mercy errand to soothe her anxieties.

It’s an interesting dichotomy, Scully and Death. She sought out distinguishment during her medical career, to make a difference outside of the hospital or the morgue or any place other than boots-on-the-ground in the field. Scully has her own demons she’s trying to conquer, that irrepressible thought of “failure, failure, failure” echoing deep inside her mind. She might think the blame lies in fathers or dead rabbits or lost partners and sisters; but the reality she wasn't and isn’t ready to face in Beyond the Sea or The Blessing Way or Anasazi or Never Again or A Christmas Carol or All Souls or Orison is that that the hollow gong of self-condemnation clangs only by her own hand; and will never stop-- no matter how many fathers or sisters or daughters or partners praise or assure her otherwise-- until she no longer hits it. (An aside: Tithonus was equal to Irresistible and Orison in forcing Scully to face her worst fears: death and personal weakness, defying the confines of even immortality.)

Mulder gives her focus-- a redirection that has helped him, over and over, in his relentless struggle against loss and for the truth-- and Scully does focus on that… but not for long. Because Scully can’t focus forever eye on the chase-- the gain and the lose, the lie and the truth-- while her loved ones are paying the price for her quest. It’s a core part of her character Mulder has learned to respect and yield to, and will again and again the rest of their lives (Paper Clip, Memento Mori, Gethsemane, Detour, Emily, etc.)

ALBERT HOSTEEN ARRIVES

Maggie, meanwhile, has no idea where her daughter is, sitting alone by Melissa’s bedside as the Consortium plant agent unsettles her further by swimming laps around the hospital room. When the nurse drops in to announce a visitor, she brightens-- “Is it Dana? Is Dana here?”-- and is, again, disappointed.

When Albert Hosteen walks into the room, she recoils-- too many figures in the shadows for her to trust let alone welcome this strange new man--

but when he repeats Scully’s message, Maggie grasps onto his words immediately: “You know where she is? Is she okay?”

From Mrs. Scully’s perspective, Melissa is in a coma and Dana is missing; and for the past few hours she must have teetered between despair that her youngest had been taken again and hope that she was coming soon, soon, soon.

Maggie follows Albert as he plods to Melissa’s bed; and, though immediately wary when he grasps an uninjured hand, she waits to see his next action.

“She is weak,” Albert intones, almost surprised.

“She is getting better,” Maggie insists, her tone bordering on scolding… but with doubt creeping at the edges.

“If it’s all right, I would like to pray over her here.”

Maggie nods after a second; and only after her consent does Albert begin his (off-screen) ritual.

There are a few key details that are quite interesting: Maggie is alone and very aware of strangers keeping her under unsubtle surveillance; and with one daughter in a coma and the other missing, it's hard to believe a complete stranger that waltzes into the room and claims acquaintance with her family. And not only is Albert tall, somber, and potentially physically intimidating, but he is also a man whose beliefs and practices would be at odds with Maggie's traditionally Catholic teachings and doctrine. While Maggie is more open to supernatural occurrences than her daughter-- believing in dreams and omens despite Scully's flippant disagreement-- she likely filters those experiences through a religious lens, ala the prophetic dreams in the oral and written traditions of her own faith. She, like Scully, is uncomfortable with broader explanations (i.e. walking away from Melissa’s “out there” speeches in One Breath and The Blessing Way, posts here and here); yet, Maggie still lets Hosteen in, permitting him to clutch her daughter’s hand and disagree with her doctors on nothing more than simple faith in her absent daughter's judgment. That trust will change after Scully’s behavior during Season 4’s cancer arc.

THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU (AND YOU)

Mulder and Scully uncover a dangerous truth or two, then rendezvous with Skinner in order to create a battle plan. He wants to barrel down the path they’re on, trump card firmly in grasp; but relents after she practically begs him to return home-- a first for both: Scully giving up with tears in her eyes and Mulder relinquishing the chase (and the ground he'd gained to avenge his father and his own death) after her uncharacteristic plea.

“Look, I want exactly what you want! …But I need to see my sister.”

Scully quickly grows self-conscious, dipping her head down and slapping that age-old faux smile across her mouth-- the Dana Scully coping mechanism-- until Mulder, too, looks down and away, giving her space to recover.

“It’s up to you, Scully,” Mulder gently stipulates, leaving the final decision in her hands. (This decision, of course, leads to her further devastation later this episode when they not only lose their advantage but also Melissa, who will die in her sister’s absence, anyway. Another “failure” Mulder tries to relieve with a talk about Fate, and one that Scully can’t accept yet... and won’t for years.)

Scully is surprised and disturbed at having to choose, swiveling her eyes from Mulder’s retreating form to Skinner’s neutral posture, afraid of the judgment or disappointment he might be expressing because of her decision.

Ultimately, she chooses for them to return-- but with a stipulation of their own, a concession to her and Mulder’s equal partnership. “I told Skinner to make the deal. But not to hand over the tape until you agreed to it.” It’s an echo of “I wouldn’t put myself on the line for anybody but you”, and a precursor to “Even if that were true, I wouldn’t change a day”: Scully trusts Mulder’s instincts above all others; and her trust in him solidifies and reinforces their partnership, giving his wishes equal placement to her own wants and needs (and sometimes greater precedence than, in her self-conscious moments.)

Mulder’s rejoinder-- “I’m sorry about your sister, Scully”-- is appreciated but redirected: “I just need to know she’s going to be okay.”

THE BUFFALO SUPPORT GROUP AND SKINNER

Albert Hosteen’s narration picks back up in Melissa’s room: “For two days, I prayed for the FBI woman’s sister. Her doctor said she was getting better; and her mother, who would not leave her bedside, was able to sleep. But word have come from my brothers in the North that did not give me hope.

“The white buffalo calf had survived; but after a day it would no longer drink its mother’s milk. On the third day, the mother buffalo laid down in her stall and would not get up. They said the men could do nothing for her. That night, she died.

“My father taught me when I was a boy that this is how life is: that for something to live, another thing must often be sacrificed.”

As we can see (and are told), the dynamic has shifted over the course of two days: Maggie has fallen asleep without sending Albert away, trusting in his protection and preferring his company to being alone.

Skinner arrives, strait-laced, with answers and reassurances, disrupting Albert from his prayers and Maggie from her sleep.

“My name is Walter Skinner-- I’m an Assistant Director of the FBI.”

Maggie, nonplussed, closes her fashion magazine and looks down and away, already anticipating an endless line of questions from Dana’s higher ups.

Skinner, thrown off by the cool reception, puts his badge away and gets down to business. “I’m very sorry about your daughter,” he begins again; and, again, Maggie silently brushes him off.

Coming to the point, Skinner says, “Dana asked me to deliver a message.”

Maggie comes to life, immediately turning to the assistant director and becoming wide-eyed and taut with anticipation. “You’ve been in contact with her?” At Skinner’s “Yes,” she immediately sets aside the blanket and stands, pouring anxious wrath (which we will see again in Memento Mori) onto her youngest’s innocent messenger-- “Well, I want to know where she is”-- before ending in near tears-- “and if she’s okay….”

Skinner’s affirmation is not soothing: “She’s okay. But she’s in a very serious situation which prevents her from being here.”

Slumping, Maggie huffs out a fake trademark smile of her own before shifting into more serious anger: “What kind of situation?” She’s either questioning Skinner’s story or her daughter’s honesty; but either way, Maggie has never been a “face value” believer (Beyond the Sea, Ascension, One Breath, etc.) and her patience has been stretched thin over little bits of communication boiling down to nothing more than a shaky promise or two.

“One that we hope to reverse so that Dana can come back to work.”

Before anyone can respond, Maggie’s eyes jerk back to the shark agent circling outside their room, tipping off Skinner.

Albert Hosteen chimes in with a helpful, “That man you just saw. He’s been very curious about this room.”

This turns Skinner’s attention to Hosteen, who passes inspection and agrees to the assistant director’s injunction not to leave the room.

LOSING MORE THAN MELISSA

The last we see of Melissa’s hospital room is after Scully has arrived-- too late-- sitting alone in the dimly lit calm of the recently deceased. Mulder arrives later, joining in his partner's grief and consoling her as best he can.

“It happened three hours ago. She went into surgery-- the damage to her brain was worse than they had hoped. Her blood pressure started to rise; and, uh…. She slipped away.

"She died for me,” Scully mourns, “and I tried to tell her I was sorry, but I don’t think she’ll ever really know.”

Scully has sat in this chair for who knows how long trying to form an apology, unable to form the words; and now feels like even more of a failure for not at least giving this one thing in exchange for Melissa’s sacrifice.

“Oh, she knows. Melissa knows," Mulder insists.

Scully can’t accept that for herself-- won’t until she releases all the guilt and shame she’s holding in, at last, in All Things-- and so stays silent, regrouping with Herculean effort.

Sucking in a reinforcing breath, Scully detours the conversation away from her rightful pain to her unwarranted self-flagellation: “You were right. There is no justice.” Meaning: my actions stripped my sister of her life and doomed her to injustice after death.

“I don’t think this is about justice, Scully,” Mulder contradicts.

“Then what is it about?” she questions, desperately needing a belief to cling to, a direction to head in.

It’s in this moment Mulder takes on the role of conduit to Scully's inner voice from Melissa: “I think it’s about fate.”

As mentioned in the opening paragraphs, Mulder's time on the astral plane has changed his openness to spiritual connections beyond his understanding. The problem of belief, however, remains: Mulder believes that "the truth is out there", that paranormal or supernatural happenings exist... but he doesn't believe in them. Without Melissa's influence, it takes Scully another five years before she works her way back to believing in them the way she used to, the way that Melissa was helping her rediscover before her untimely death.

Scully wants to accept this, too; but, again, cannot.

Mulder pauses, gulps, and gently, indirectly questions, “Skinner told me that he talked to you. That you were insistent about coming back to work. …Now if Melissa’s death--”

Scully parries his probe for the guilt that haunted her in Beyond the Sea: shaking her head to pacify his worries and dissuade his scrutiny, she adamantly insists, “I need something to put my back up against.”

“I feel the same way,” Mulder continues, softly treading back to territory she wants to avoid. “We’ve both lost so much.”

Scully looks down, pebbles her chin, steadies it, and looks back, not wanting to minimize his grief while avoiding her own.

“I believe that what we’re looking for… is in the X-Files," he continues, "and we’re certain more than ever that the truth is in there.”

Scully does not take comfort in balancing tragic loss against truths uncovered, staking her position firmly and unshakably in measured, avenging justice: “I’ve heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.”

Mulder scoots over to embrace Scully; and she, giving in to the comfort and the pain, allows him to do so, reaching around for a tighter grip around his neck.

And thus ends Paper Clip.

THE WHITE BUFFALO CALF: MULDER OR SCULLY?

Albert Hosteen at first compares Mulder's recovery in The Blessing Way to the Navajo tale of the Gila Monster: "When the F.B.I. man Mulder was cured by the holy people, we were reminded of the story of the Gila monster, who symbolizes the healing powers of the medicine man. In this myth, the Gila monster restores a man by taking all his parts and putting them back together. His blood is gathered by ants, his eyes and ears by sun, his mind by Talking God and Pollen Boy. Then lightning and thunder bring the man back to life."

However, Hosteen soon receives word from another (unnamed) tribe that links the birth of their legendary white buffalo calf to the day of Mulder's recovery: "Like the Navajo, these people have their own stories and myths. One of these stories tells of the white buffalo woman who came down from the heavens and taught the Indians how to lead virtuous lives and how to pray to the creator. She told the people she would return one day, then she turned into a white buffalo and ascended into the clouds, never to be seen again. But on this day, when the holy people had given the F.B.I. man a miracle, a white buffalo was born and every Native American knew, whether he believed the story or not, that this was a powerful omen and that great changes were coming."

Canonically, this sets up exciting possibilities that aren't followed through (or, at least, not very well); but if one takes a step back, the Mulder and Calf comparison doesn't work at all:

Melissa's sacrifice is drawn directly to Scully throughout the entire episode, with Scully repeating that fact in doomed tones over and over and over.

The White Buffalo Woman is a feminine mythology, tying more neatly to the mother buffalo/Melissa's "sacrifice" and the calf/Scully's "rebirth" (as foretold in the legend.)

Not only does Melissa act as the "maternal" guide to Scully's inner voice, she is also her protector, supporter, and keeper-- in this life and the next: saving her sister from irrational rationality and her niece from an existence only relieved by her death (Beyond the Sea, The Blessing Way, A Christmas Carol, etc.)

If parallels between Mulder's "rebirth" and Melissa's "sacrifice" can be drawn, so can Scully's escape from her assassins and "rebirth" back into normal civilization alongside Melissa's death. It would also line up narratively with Albert's monologue about the buffalos: “The white buffalo calf had survived; but after a day it would no longer drink its mother’s milk. On the third day, the mother buffalo laid down in her stall and would not get up. They said the men could do nothing for her. That night, she died." Scully, too, was separated from her sister for a period of three days; and Melissa, too, died on the third.

Furthermore, there is no connection between Mulder's set of circumstances and Melissa's, narratively or mythologically.

However, we all know The X-Files is loaded with errors because of a lack of show bible and a broken, incohesive narrative; that means, unfortunately, there is one possibility for the comparison to work-- and that is by taking The Field Where I Died's canon seriously.

TFWID posits that Mulder, Melissa Rydell, and Scully are connected soulmates, recycled together as an unholy trio in each life (kind of like the vampires in 3) and doomed to suffer tragic fates until they get it right. (On the surface, this might further prove the hypothesis that "the X-Files was always a dark show with an unhappy ending" except that Chris Carter himself said that wasn't the case-- though he might have changed his mind recently.) Massive plot holes of the episode aside, TFWID also posits each soul is reborn into a new body regardless of the sex of that body, meaning Mulder was alternately a Confederate man and a Jewish woman in previous lives.

And the Jewish woman reincarnation is the stickler... because that was the last past life Mulder had (to my knowledge) before his current one. Meaning, Mulder soul could very well be the White Buffalo Woman at some point in his past, reborn in this life, again, to bring about the justice and better ending he'd failed to accomplish in the preceding ones. It would do away with the feminine-only bent to the mythology, at the very least; and it would tie into Chris Carter's overall vision for the show-- fate vs. freewill, with fate winning out again and again in Mulder and Scully's lives.

However, that would negate the more interesting and accurate interpretation of the White Buffalo Woman mythology: that Scully, not Mulder, was the woman fated to save the world.

That interpretation would also make sense because Scully often experienced visitations from the dead or dying in the series (posts here and here), including Albert Hosteen's apparition in Amor Fati... which was right after the revelation that shook her to the core: finding the key to everything in Africa. And if that be the case, then the files and the Conspiracy and being a part of Mulder's quest was Scully's fated journey; and that Mulder had made repeated mistakes that destroyed his life in each of the past ones. That Scully was here, now, to "keep him honest, make him a whole person" and safeguard him from danger (and himself) while saving the world.

Furthermore, this interpretation of canon (which I argue is the only factual one) would also negate the late-in-the-game comparison between William and buffalos in Season 9 since:

The White Buffalo Woman was prophesied to be reborn with agency-- to be a leader herself, not a vessel for the next "Messiah."

It would mean Scully's son was a natural product of her and Mulder's dedication to each other, a bonus to saving the world and setting her partner's life to rights.

Of course, there is the third option: that both Mulder and Scully are tied into the legend as they are in every other area of their life-- together (shoutout to @deathsbestgirl's meta considerations here.)

MOTHER EARTH AND UNCONSCIOUS TRUTHS

Melissa, the voice of Scully’s unconscious truths, has died-- at the hand of the Conspiracy, no less. Her impact is far from over, however, trailing behind Scully until she is given (and is able to give back) a form of justice, showing her worn and weary sister that the unknowable and inevitable need not drag her down-- that life and death are both “just a path.” That, like the native tribes believed, all of life’s joys and pains must be held in equal balance to truly understand and appreciate what it is to live.

Scully’s ouroboros is that struggle. Death is terrifyingly final; and she fears what little of her impact or legacy will be left with those who have gone before and those that will come after, flipping rapidly back and forth between guilty rumination and morbid, fascinated terror. The fear of her lack of consequence drives Scully back to Maggie for reassurance, away from Mulder’s lack thereof in Never Again, and into the arms of any man who will consume her griefs and guilt in a temporary, enamored embrace… only to repeat the cycle again, restlessly seeking peace. Melissa, her father, Mulder, Maggie, and Emily have given her reassurance and absolution, repeatedly; but it isn’t until Scully embraces the incomprehensible experiences of Amor Fati and All Things that she is able to, at last, settle those doubts into calm, even joyful acceptance.

Some day, after years of confusion and misinterpretation, her pleas will be able to be heard and will, at last, help her sister achieve peace.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#gahhhhhh #txf meta #melissa scully #mulder and scully #this is nonsense but i have FEELINGS

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pickingoutchinapatterns · 6 years ago

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December, 1989

prompt: Scully + Turning points in their life

Note: I was going to include this in my (currently on the backburner) series To Be An American hero, but I’m going to post a bit now. I’ll flesh it out later in the actual TBAAH fic. This is more like a list of headcanons than an actual fic. Tagging @today-in-fic, @viceversawrites for your edits, and @poolsidescientist for the prompt (yes, I will get to the Maggie one as well). Warning: based on true horrible events that took place in December, 1989.

Scully’s introduction to the reality of existing in a boy’s club didn’t come thanks to the FBI or to medicine, but rather much earlier in her education. Most people who were pre-med had to take an introductory physics course in their first year and Scully, being Scully, decided to take the physics for physicist majors’ course instead. She had always enjoyed the sciences and didn’t want to limit her options yet in first year. The course was challenging in a way that she absolutely loved; she had to learn how integrate in her physics course before the subject was even introduced to her in calculus.

During her undergrad, she found that most of her core courses were also mandatory for those in engineering physics. It was because of this that she met Geneviève, who was half American, half French Canadian and the only female student in engineering physics. Scully had received some sneers and comments geared towards her given her decision to go into physics, instead of a “softer science” like biology or psychology. Gen, she soon discovered, had a more challenging time. At first, some of their classmates, even a few of the professors, tried to convince Gen that she should really be in chemical engineering (or “fem eng” as some called it, because of the slightly higher female population), if she really did want to insist on being an engineer at all. Math, they said, is really not a subject that women were meant to handle. Where Scully developed a proud, sometimes falsely seen as cold, suit of armour, Gen decided to fully immerse herself into becoming “one of the guys,” regardless of some of the comments she had to brush off and let slide. Both women were drawn to each other, honing their quick wits and humour as survival skills, often teaming up as lab partners when they were not specifically assigned to work with someone else.

Despite their struggles, the two did earn the respect of most of their peers (some assholes will always be assholes), won many awards and were able to pursue higher education – Scully in medical school in the USA and Gen getting her master’s and then PhD in Canada. They kept in touch after undergrad, agreeing to see each other at least once a year as they pursued more education.

In December of 1989, Scully was starting to become disillusioned with medicine. The material was interesting, but so many of her classmates believed that they were God’s gift to the human race. She went into medicine to help people, to make an impact, but she felt like actual patient care was mostly done by the nurses (who were also looked down upon by some of her medical colleagues, especially when an unfortunate nurse dared to disagree with their opinion) while she spent the majority of her time drinking coffee, doing paperwork, and trying to drown out the egos around her. The pamphlet from the FBI was getting creased in her purse, having been in her possession since September. A career in the Bureau looked more and more promising every time her beeper went off when she was trying to catch up on sleep. The timing was good too - she was going to visit Gen in just a week. Gen had successfully defended her master’s thesis and would just be wrapping up marking papers by the time Scully arrived in Montreal. She was hoping to talk over her indecision with Gen about her career path before bringing it up with her family over Christmas.

After a grueling 36 hour shift, Scully arrived back at her apartment and found her answering machine blinking. Exhausted, she had planned on ignoring her messages until she emerged from a well-deserved hibernation, but the phone rang just as she was going to crawl into bed.

“Dana, hi sweetie, how are you doing?”

“I’m fine mom, just tired. I was just about to go to bed. Can we talk tomorrow?”

Maggie paused for a second. “Honey, have you been listening to the news tonight?”

Scully sighed, her mind more on sleep than anything else. “No mom, I just got in. Can…”

“Your friend, Geneviève, what school does she go to?”

“She goes to McGill.” Maggie sighed in relief through the phone and Scully continued. “Mom, I’m sorry, but I’m really tired. Why are you bringing this up now?”

Maggie pauses, unsure whether to burden her or not, but Scully pressed on.

“Mom?”

“There was a shooting at this French university in Montreal. It’s all over the news. École…P something.”

“École Polytechnique? She’s a TA there.” Scully sits up on the couch, now wide awake. “Mom, I have to go. I’ll, I’ll get back to you soon.”

“I love you dear. Stay safe.”

Scully doesn’t get a hold of Gen for a couple of days. She does reach her father, Mr. Beauchemin, many hours later, who assures her that Gen is ok and just in shock. The full tragedy of the incident slowly leaks out to the world and it makes Scully sick. It is what finalizes her decision to go into the FBI.

- - -

Marc Lepine applied twice to l’École Polytechnique but didn’t get in. He attributed his rejection to feminism, believing that women took his rightful spot because they should never be working non-traditional jobs. On December 6, 1989, he entered a classroom at l’École Polytechnique, where he separated the men and the women, claimed to be fighting feminism and then proceeded shoot all 9 women, killing 6 of them. His rampage continued throughout the school, where he shot 28 people, killed 14 women and then committed suicide like the coward he was. His suicide note blamed feminists for ruining his life. It is the deadliest mass shooting in Canadian history.

Author’s note: I was in high school during the Columbine shooting. Before that, the only other school shooting that I knew about was this one. In Canada, December 6 is commemorated as the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.

I have two brothers who are engineers, one who did his undergrad in engineering physics. He took a lot of classes with physics majors. Given that Scully did her undergrad in physics, I feel like she would have taken a lot of classes with engineers as well. Engineering is still a male-dominated field (chemical engineering is still known as “fem eng”), so I believe that if there was another woman in the field at that time then they would have been good friends. Given the time of the massacre, I don’t think that it’s a stretch that this event would have impacted Scully’s decision to go into the FBI.

In Memorium

Geneviève Bergeron, Hélène Colgan, Nathalie Croteau, Barbara Daigneault, Anne-Marie Edward, Maud Haviernick, Maryse Laganière, Maryse Leclair, Anne-Marie Lemay, Sonia Pelletier, Michèle Richard, Annie St-Arneault, Annie Turcotte, Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz and the other students who unfortunately committed suicide after surviving the massacre, RIP.

#my fic #headcanon #scully's influence to go into FBI #today in fic #history #montreal #tbaah

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pjstafford · 3 years ago

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Scully, as a symbol of every woman born in the sixties and of every woman alive today.

I've been thinking quite a bit about Dana Scully and domesticity. Recent social media posts from various people explored the possibility that Scully was "let down" by the X-Files’ writers - not simply, as Gillian Anderson indicated in a recent statement, in the revival, but throughout the series. Those proponents argument seemed to be that the show was sexist because Scully never got to live the domestic life she wanted. My perspective is different. I don’t believe Scully was interested in domesticity until later in her journey. The more I thought about this, the more I began to theorize that, if you remove the alien abduction and paranormal piece - then, Scully's journey, her desire to "have it all" is not unlike the experience of many young women of her day. It is a worthwhile endeavor to look back at iconic characters with fresh eyes. I strive to do that now to argue that Scully's journey is very much deserving of iconic feminist status, but, perhaps, even more importantly, as that of a every woman of her generation.

From what we know, Margaret Scully (Dana's mom) appears to have been a stay-at-home mother. Dana grew up in a very traditional nuclear family construct with traditional values associated with Catholicism and a strong, patriotic, military father. From what we know, her family life was fairly typical with typical teenage rebellions such as smoking and typical sibling arguments.

Dana Scully was born in 1965 - two years after the publication of Betty Freidan's The Feminist Mystique which outlined the reasons why women had left the workforce to return to the home and how many women were unhappy with the lack of choices in lifestyles. This, along with the involvement of many teenage girls in the political activism of the 60s and the 70's, created a cultural change. Those of us who were female children in the sixties and teenagers in the seventies often wanted to have careers in addition to or instead of the traditional housewife role. Of course, we can look back and recognize that this perspective is from a white privilege perception. Also, that there were women who could be obvious role models who had successful careers. However, as a woman with a similar white Irish ethnicity and about the same age of Scully, I know that there was this feeling that our generation was going to break the mold. There is much literature about the cultural changes of the nineties as women had more active careers, delayed having children and getting married.

Scully, the medical doctor and scientist, made a decision to go into a male dominated field and to spend years in educational pursuits. Part of the reason Scully was seen as a feminist hero is because she was unlike other women characters on television. She influenced young girls and women watching to enter medicine or science.

When she decided to become an FBI agent, her father was upset. She went against his wishes. She did it anyway. She did it because she believed she could make a difference and she wanted to make that difference. She chose again to be in a male dominated field. This time she chose a career she knew would be dangerous. She seemed to like adventure. We have every reason to believe that in the pilot, when the audience first meets her, she had a desire to rise in the ranks of the FBI. She was an ambitious, intelligent, adventure seeking woman.

We see her early in season one at a godson's birthday party where she talks with a friend about not having time to begin a family. She goes out on a date with a man who has a son who asks her out again and she chooses not to go. Especially given that this is a show from the nineties, it is important that we not dismiss Scully's independent decision making. She decided, like many women of her generation, to delay family because she was focused on her career. We see Scully as a woman who, when she is faced with great distress such as the death of her father, chooses to work as a coping mechanism. She enjoyed her work. Additionally, Scully had early opportunity to change jobs within the FBI or return to medicine. She didn't. Maybe it was out of duty or loyalty to Mulder, but it was her decision. It was novel for women to have the options to make these decisions.

In season two Scully has a near death experience which sometimes causes people to reexamine their priorities. It is in the season four Home, that Scully shares that she would like to have children someday. Scully is, at this time, 31 years old. Then, later in season four, begins the cancer arc.

It is five years into the journey with Scully that Scully knows that she can't have children. She tells her mother she never knew she wanted something so badly until she couldn't have it. It is possible to think that, if, she was still able to have children at this time, she might have continued to delay. The knowledge of infertility created an urgency.

Then, she begins to try and adopt. Again, let's put aside the paranormal, abduction, and reasons why Scully cannot have children and that she wanted to adopt her own biological alien human hybrid child. It is not so hard, for those of us with lived experience, to remember the numerous news stories at the time about the unintended side-effects of women delaying getting married and starting families. It was actually about the same time as Scully that I, having delayed having children until my husband was out of school, discovered that, due to a health condition that started in my thirties, I was unable to have children. It turned out that our generation was the first generation to realize that you, in fact, cannot always have it all. There is a reason why such advances in scientific infertility treatments were madein the nineties. In many ways, Scully's statement - I didn't know I wanted it so much until I couldn't have it, was being said by woman across the country - many of whom looked into adoption or IVFs as alternative ways to have a family.

Here comes what will probably be the most unpopular opinion in this blog. It is my belief that Scully's statements in season six and seven related to “don't you ever want to stop and get out of the car” -her desire to stop running and to settle down are not statements that demonstrate that has been her desire the entire time. People change. I think she is older, has suffered some family losses, has almost died numerous times, and is being reflective of her needs. I think, though, that we see her saying these things to Mulder because she wants him to join her on this other journey of domesticity. Again, I think it is interesting that she at no point says to Mulder, let's start a relationship and you continue to do what you have always done, and I will be at home waiting for you when you return. All of the conversations include a desire to see Mulder and her stop.

Even in I want to believe, they do not have the traditional spousal duties assigned. Scully is the one that works. Mulder is the one who stays home (until he doesn't). I understand that by the time of the season 11 finale, the reveal of Scully being pregnant was complicated by much of the plotline around her first son. But we are not focused in this blog on these details. Women having babies in their fifties have quadrupled this century. This includes many prominent women such as Janet Jackson and Senator Duckworth.

I am not saying that the series would not have been better with more diverse writers. There are a couple of episodes, in particular, I think that this is true about. Even though I enjoy Scully being pregnant at the end of season 7 and think much of season 8 is superior story telling, I think, as with many other things, the lack of a coherent end game made the William/ Jackson storyline and, now, the new baby storyline, problematic. In terms of the fact that bad things happened to Scully - yes, they did…and to Mulder. Its an action/ adventure /horror drama. You can dislike the plot line and even the genre, but that doesn't make it sexist. (But there is sexism within certain episodes, problems with rape culture, absolutely).

Today in 2022, we are still discussing a show from the nineties because it is that good and because in many ways it is relevant. Many women are being forced out of the workforce now because of caregiving responsibilities. Reproductive rights are being threatened. Women Rights! Feminism! Sexism. These are complicated terms today. For me, Scully still represents the best of my generation. Scully making decisions. Scully as an FBI agent, doctor, bad-ass. Scully as a vulnerable woman. Scully who mirrors back that focusing on work means sacrifices for women that it doesn't mean for men. Scully not being perfect and not having a perfect life and, yes, Scully living in a sexist world where men consider women's reproductive systems as their playthings to make decisions about, and, despite that, her survival and resilience through it all - are things we women should celebrate.

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anders-hawke · 3 years ago

Note

20 for the one word prompts 🤠

Out in the Open

There it sits, resting against the rim of a vase Scully scrounged up from her kitchen cabinets, in its stark simplicity. A single white flower that had previously been found just outside her door, encased in clear plastic and tied with a small ribbon.

A gardenia, she finds out after a quick search on her computer, which was used to convey a secretive love. “Secretive love, Mulder?” she says into the phone, having immediately called him to confront his sudden interest in floral communication.

“Your mom doesn’t know,” he points out.

“Yeah, but she knows, you know? We don’t really need to tell her.”

“Skinner doesn’t know. The FBI doesn’t know. The Gunmen don’t know.”

Scully raises an eyebrow. “Are you being intentionally obtuse?”

“Yes.”

They laugh, and she settles into her couch. “I guess the details are secretive... No one knows where we go on dates, or our sexual habits—”

“Well, I should hope that they’ll never know that! And they’d never guess that I’d take you to Varga’s for tacos.”

“Unless they subpoena the place for their CCTV footage which clearly shows us being extremely sappy together.”

His laugh makes her heart flutter. “Sometimes you sound even crazier than me, Scully.”

“You must be a bad influence.”

“Oh, I’m a bad influence, alright...”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mulder.”

“Are you sure I can’t blast through a couple lights to get there before you fall asleep?”

Scully grins and shakes her head, rising from the couch to approach the end table. “I’m sure there’s other ways to exert yourself so that you get a good night’s sleep.”

He chuckles wryly. “Porn doesn’t hold a candle to you, Scully, and neither does my hand.”

“Good thing it’s Thursday, then.”

She can almost hear his smile through the connection. “Before you hang up, one last thing: Be on the lookout for more flowers.”

“Mulder...” Her eyes fall closed as she sighs, smile still on her face.

“It was a set!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night, Scully.”

“Good night, Mulder.”

#txf #fanfiction #mine #thanks for the prompt!!#msr #ask #dana scully #fox mulder

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tatooedlaura-blog · 3 years ago

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Taco Night

The fourth series reads as follows:

Apple Balancing ... Potential ... The Newbies ... The Dessert ... Dinosaurs and Cannibalism ... Sassy Sprinklepants ... The Secret Vault of Mudlerness

To catch up: First series … Second series ... Third series

@today-in-fic

&&&&&&&&&&

Doggett and Harrison had been around for a fair amount of time at this point and Scully, while sitting on the balcony, rocking Will with her foot and reading several potential casefiles for Mulder and company, she called to him through the screen door, “hey, Mulder?”

Mulder, never really out of earshot of her because, well, it was Scully and he could listen to her forever, called back from the kitchen where he was washing the dinner dishes, “yeah?”

“We should have them over for dinner.”

He had to think for a minute, then, still not sure if he knew who she meant, walked out, dishtowel in hand, “who’s them?”

She looked at him with a grin before waving the file at him, “your people. Doggett, Harrison … do these names ring a bell?”

She received a flying towel to the face before he sat down in the other chair, “you mean, like, have them here and make them food and eat it with them?”

Apparently, he was not well versed in guests, “yes. That is generally how dinner works.”

He would make her pay later, somehow, “I get that but I guess it never occurred to me to socialize with them, outside of the office or a case, I mean.”

Adorable crazy person he was, “well, I think you should ask them over for maybe tomorrow or Wednesday. I can make fail-safe spaghetti or even just have taco night.”

Looking at her as if she were the most fascinatingly complex person alive, “Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, dinner hosts. Weird.”

She shoved him with her free foot, still rocking Will with the other, “just go call them.”

&&&&&&&&&&

Being the ‘new in town’ and ‘workaholic but needs to see daylight every so often’ partners they were, both Doggett and Harrison accepted and sooner rather than later, Wednesday evening rolled around, with Mulder freshly laundered, Will unsticky, Scully wearing her fancy flipflops but planning on being barefoot before long. Just as Scully finished drying her hands, she suddenly stopped mid-motion, “shit.”

“What?”

“What do I call them? I can’t call them Agent Doggett and Agent Harrison, that would be to … just … to. Do I call them John and Leyla? What do you call them? What do they call me? Am I still Agent Scully? They can’t …”

Mulder stopped her with a hand to her mouth, “take a deep breath, would you? You’re gonna freak me out.”

Before he could get any further in his statement, the doorbell rang, Scully letting out a nervous giggle, which surprised them both, “fuck, this is gonna be awkward.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Doggett followed Mulder through the door a minute later, greeting Scully with a head nod and a, “hi ya, Agent Scully.”

She had to smile, “call me Dana, if you’d like or just Scully. The agent part of my life has been on hold for quite awhile at this point.”

With a nod and a crooked smile, “Dana, then. I’m John.”

“Nice to have you, John.”

Mulder desperately wanted to interject something here but the doorbell rang again and soon, Layla and John were standing in the living room, making small talk about families, pets, and the general DC area. Soon enough, Will decided he needed to meet this John person and immediately leaned towards him. To Mulder’s nerves and Scully’s nod, Doggett picked him up, snuggled him to his shoulder, then let out the largest smile any of them had ever seen, “I haven’t held a baby since my son was this age. I’ve forgotten how light they are.”

Will took to him like glue, chewing on Doggett’s collar with Doggett standing there, the most content-looking, scary, gruff FBI man since Skinner to melt under the influence of one William Walter.

“He likes you.”

Settling down on the kitchen chair, Will on his shoulder, “the feeling is mutual.”

Mulder relaxed after Scully subtly told him, via lightning-fast eyeball exchanging, to calm himself down. Harrison was quieter at first, which shocked them all but soon, the taco fixings needed cutting and the meat needed cooking and she jumped in, talking a mile a minute about when she ran a taco truck for the summer in Ocean City with her uncle.

For all the words the small woman sped through in a minute, Scully liked her.

That said a lot.

&&&&&&&&&&

Doggett didn’t seem at all put out when offered a bottle to give Will but eventually, before the adults settled in for food, he had to relinquish him, “catch you later, little man.”

Scully, honest to God, felt like she would be comfortable leaving her little boy with the lanky man in the button-down shirt.

Once Will had fallen asleep, dinner began, the talk lagging every so often but then Mulder off-handedly mentioned Jim-Jim the Dog-faced boy, which is quite impressive considering how hard it actually is to work Jim-Jim the Dog-faced boy into a conversation without simply saying, “so, ever heard of Jim-Jim the Dog-faced boy?”, the conversation took on a life of its own, jumping from sideshow murder to fetishists, which Scully steered them away from, to eventually landing on satanic cultists and the Devil himself.

Doggett argued amicably that that was all nonsense but in a way that didn’t imply that everyone else was fucking stupid for believe in the nonsense. Harrison fought back passionately, citing statistics and documentation of Devil possession and worship. Mulder argued on Harrison’s side while Scully, sipping her Margarita, fell in the middle, arguing both believer and skeptic.

Her brain stretched like it hadn’t in years, keeping up with the greenhorns and loving it.

It really was like seeing “MulderNScully: The Early Years” from the seat of a well-versed elder.

It was after 11 by the time both said their goodbyes, heading to vehicles and into the night, leaving Mulder to lock the door before coming back upstairs to lean on the kitchen wall, watch Scully nibble at some guac and chips, “well?”

“I’m exhausted.”

Laughter ringing quietly, “they are a handful.”

“But it was fun. I’ve never watched us argue before.” Waving a chip in his direction, “they’re gonna have Walter quitting within a year.”

“I told him I figured he would last about nine months.”

Snorting, she went in for another chip, “if I tell you something, will you promise not to get mad?”

“You like Doggett more than me, don’t you?”

She nearly threw the chip at him, but smiling, “of course not but I do have the weirdest feeling that I could leave Will with him and I wouldn’t worry.”

“He’d come home with a New York accent.” Sitting down across from her, “but I can see it. Not saying I’d ever let Will out of sight, but if necessary, Doggett could be a decent stand-in if we run out of relatives.”

Both continued to chew in silence until Scully yawned, “you know what we are?”

“Adorable?”

Shaking her head at him, “we are untrained at the art of hosting.” When Mulder looked blankly at her, she rephrased, “do you realize those two are the first people we have had over here that aren’t related to us. We don’t have friends, Mulder. We have family and we have adopted family.”

“What about the Holy Trinity?”

“Frohike has knitted my mother an afghan. Langley had slept on my mother’s living room floor and Byers taught her how to cook standing rib roast. They are Scully whether they like it or not.”

Two more chips, “yeah, we’re pathetic.”

“The problem is, one day, they’ll be at my mother’s for dinner and Layla will have her tongue dyed blue and Doggett will tell a story with that accent and my mother will swoon and then they will be brought into the fold as well.”

Three chips and a stolen sip of Margarita, “I’m beginning to believe the Scully family is some kind of cult.”

“We do basically drink the Kool-Aid every Thursday.”

Wiping his hands on his pants, Mulder stood, kissing her forehead before beginning to put whatever was still out, away, “and damn good Kool-Aid it is.”

The piece-de-resistance of the evening came about 10 minutes later in the form of a text from Doggett, “thank you for dinner. I believe I stole little man’s pacifier. Do you need it back tonight because I can run it right over? Can’t have him waking up crying without it.”

Mulder held up his phone to show Scully, “I think Doggett’s well on his way to becoming one of us.”

“Or at least Will’s.”

Replying that it could wait until the next day, Mulder hugged Scully close before turning off kitchen lights and guiding her toward the bedroom, “bed, please. All this politeness has worn me out.”

#msr #John Doggett #Leyla Harrison #the cult of Scully #because they do basically drink the Kool-Aid #xfiles #xfiles fanfic #my writing #life part 4 series

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aboveallarescuer · 4 years ago

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In the end Dany won against the WoT fans. But it was very noticable that a significant part of them used run-of-the-mill trash takes known from the ASOIAF book scene to attack Dany (when they didn't just use the show finale to slander).You know, the type of ASOIAF nerds who proudly claim S8 is the expectable endgame for her book character, too. And in fact, that is what many also tweeted all the time, they moved from that scene to TWOT. The shitty takes infiltrate other fandoms, too, sigh.

Since I got this ask and I’m feeling petty right now, here are some observations from these polls:

As Rob pointed out in another post, before Moraine competed against Dany, she had received a lot less votes (which indicates that, in this recent poll, a lot of people were now focused on voting against Dany rather than for Moraine), namely ~1464-1465 votes (60,5% of 2421 votes) in a poll against against Harry Potter. Now, to be sure, that Moraine won against Harry Potter shows that she too has a loyal fanbase, so there were a number of people voting for her that may have simply preferred her over Dany (though there was certainly some overlap between her fans and Dany haters and also some people that don’t know Moraine and voted for her to defeat Dany too). And Dany’s previous poll hadn’t received as many votes either (she won against Black Panther with 63.8% of 3163 votes, i.e. ~2017 votes), so things are understandably getting heated now that we’re getting to the end.

Even with these factors in mind, though, I still think it’s pretty telling that the poll Dany was in received 25054 votes, while the other three polls only received from 8110 to 12037 votes. And since Dany won with 54.9% of these 25054 votes, this means that she received ~13754-13755 votes (more than the total number of votes from all of the other three polls! Go, Dany stans!) and that Moraine got ~11299-11300 votes. While I’m glad that Dany’s fanbase is strong and faithful, it’s safe to say that her haters are almost as loud, because they could have also filled their own poll with that number of votes (and yes, as I acknowledged, some people know and prefer Moraine, which is fine on its own, but her votes were certainly bolstered by Dany haters, who were in the comments calling Dany “inbred Hitler”, “inbred targaryen bitch”, “war criminal”, a less positive “representation of womanhood” in comparison to Moraine and other nonsensical insults that I won’t bother to look at). Dany’s haters really were that eager to see her lose.

In the future, Dany is going to compete against Mulder and Scully. They received ~6680-6681 votes (55% of 12037 votes) in a poll against Spider-Man. I’m curious to see how much their number of votes will grow now that they’re going against the Mother of Dragons. Some of their fans will rush in to support them at this stage, that’s for sure, but a lot of people exclusively hate Dany (or hate her more than they like the two FBI agents) and will try to help as well. It blows my mind that Dany’s haters are as devoted to her as her fans.

Re: people claiming that S8 is the expectable endgame for her book character, this infuriates me too (and partly (only partly) explains why so many think the nasty things they’re saying about Dany are acceptable). When it comes to the show, a lot of Dany fans already presented compelling evidence that the show writers changed the ending at the last minute merely for shock value. When it comes to the books, a lot of Dany fans already explained with detailed evidence that Dany’s characterization is more nuanced than having “two” sides (a “peaceful” one and a “violent” one), but people hold on to that narrative because they judge her most controversial moments by modern standards that the other characters aren’t held to. A lot of Dany fans already explained that her war for the Iron Throne isn’t any more morally problematic than Northern independence, but these people refuse to listen. A lot of Dany fans (including feminist women of color) already explained why Dany isn’t a white savior and why her campaign in Slaver’s Bay isn’t imperialistic, but rather a morally righteous war, but these people refuse to listen. A lot of Dany fans already showed, with lots of quotes, how book!Dany is compassionate, intelligent, self-critical, humble and way too lenient (which shows that she was made to fall in the show for reasons that were entirely made up), but these people still think that she’s arrogant, entitled, brash, violent, excessively driven by prophecies, dumb, etc (nevermind that GRRM wrote Dany as a foil to Cersei). A lot of Dany fans already provided the evidence making it clear that she is AA/PTWP/SWMTW, but they pretend it isn’t there. I could go on and on when it comes to all the misconceptions that Dany fans have already replied to that make it impossible for show!Dany’s ending to be the same (even the general points) as book!Dany’s, but these people don’t care. They’re lazy douchebags who already made up their minds about Dany and will continue to bash her and write literal hundreds of pages about how she’s just like Donald Trump because they take pleasure in doing so. Even so, yeah, it makes me angry that they’re so dedicated to their hatred that they’ve influenced how people from other fandoms view her. It makes me angry that the common view of Dany is so far off from her book canon characterization.

#fandom drama #answered

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

Text

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 9 Review – Chapter 85: Destroyer

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The mundane mingles with the supernatural in a enjoyably goofy episode.

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 8

“It is better to know the truth and make peace with it.”

In a bit of selfless wisdom, Cheryl states the above words to Betty in tonight’s bonkers installment. The context being that Betty doesn’t want to tell her mother that it looks like Polly is a goner. So she goes to Cheryl basically to inquire whether she feels that her cousin’s life would have been better had she not known Jason’s true fate.

The from-the-heart response that Cheryl gives her is quickly ignored, and Betty hides the truth from Alice. Since this is an episode of Riverdale, Betty’s deception immediately backfires on her when her FBI superior Glen arrives at the Cooper household to reveal Polly’s probable fate and kick Betty off the case. (Somewhere in the night, Veronica does a breathy cover of The Thompson Twins’ “Lies”).

Anyway, let’s get back to that quote for a second: It is better to know the truth and be at peace with it. That’s going to be the mantra for this entire review, as there are fundamental truths I’ve touched upon in the past that demand to be recognized before the healing can be reached. They are:

1- Archie’s football storyline is a total snooze.

Riverdale may have leaped seven years into the future, but Archie remains as doltish as ever. Granted, K.J. Apa is killing it this season as a grizzled version of the character, but the problem of Archie’s messiah complex still drags on. There are a lot of fascinating things happening on this series right now, and all the Bulldogs stuff does is slow down the breakneck pace that those interesting storylines are moving in. Aliens are in Riverdale, nobody cares about high school football right now. C’mon.

All that said, Britta rules.

2 – Any time that this series isn’t focusing on Mothmen Aliens is wasted time.

The show is taking serious liberties by mashing up Mothman and alien abduction mythologies, which really upends my In Search Of-influenced ideology about how the world works. I’ll forgive this because putting “aliens” on Riverdale is a work of stupid genius but also because I love watching Cole Sprouse and his starter goatee running around looking totally frantic.

3 – Hiram Lodge should be eaten by Mothmen Aliens.

Am I alone in thinking this could actually happen? What a coup for the series that would be! We know that Hiram is involved in some shady business, and all his SoDale shenanigans are a cover for some big secret. Therefore the mystery of the Lonely Highway is directly traced back to Hiram. Is he working for the government? Did aliens cure his mystery illness of last year and in turn is he feeding them Riverdale’s castoffs? Nothing is off the table here. Hiram’s machinations have been the same since he first appeared, but what if he really was working for aliens THE WHOLE TIME? Wouldn’t that be insane/amazing? No other show could pull that kind of shit off.

What I’m saying here is that Riverdale has been dancing with insanity since day one and it’s time to consummate the relationship.

4 – Betty Cooper, Alien Hunter needs to happen.

She fights werewolves in the comics, so is this really that crazy?

The ultimate mystery of whatever is happening this season will likely have a logic-based answer. That’s disappointing, as the Archieverse can be shown to handle witches, so are extraterrestrials that far off? (I’m still burned by the conclusion of the Gargoyle King saga, so I’m not expecting much here). Imagine though, the writing staff wants you to think that everything will wrap up with a plausible explanation and then, boom, it gives you bona fide aliens! A dream is a wish the heart makes…

This episode did give us clarity on a few things. We learned that both Jughead’s and Betty’s investigations lead back to the Lonely Highway and the mysteries — either terrestrial or otherworldly — unfolding there. Additionally, we were reminded that even though he’s ostensibly the lead character of this series, Archie is straight-up boring when he isn’t being attacked by bears or escaping from prison. With only one more episode before an extended hiatus, I hope next week brings us some resolution even though deep down I know that it won’t.

Riverdale Rundown

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• Jughead’s student who writes the troubling story about Mothman abduction is Lerman Logan, a reference to The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Percy Jackson franchise star.

• Old Man Dreyfus’ name is clearly inspired by Close Encounters of the Third Kind star Richard Dreyfuss, which is fitting as the supernatural elements of this season are riffing on the sci-fi blockbusters of the 1970s and ’80s. Further proof of this can be seen by Drefyus telling Betty and Jughead about how Riverdale was a hotbed of Mothmen activity in the summers of 1977 and 1982, ones in which Star Wars and E.T. respectively ruled at the box office.

• Mr. Weatherbee threatens to fire Jughead if he doesn’t stay out of Lerman’s problems, apparently forgetting that Jughead isn’t really even a teacher and is only volunteering.

• Even objectively, Archie is a terrible coach. Can we please fold him into the Jughead/Betty storyline somehow? It’s great to see him and Veronica back together but damn do they need better plots to work with.

• One of the teams that defeats the Bulldogs is the Baxter High Ravens. In case you forgot already, Baxter High was one of the schools that Sabrina attended in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

• One has to wonder how the Vixens must feel about Cheryl, a woman in her twenties who graduated seven years ago, returning to her alma mater to steal the thunder of teenagers who live in Murdersville, U.S.A. and have no other outlet besides cheerleading by performing a self-aggrandizing Lady Gaga cover. Cheryl does a lot of messed up stuff on this show, but this act struck me as especially cruel.

• There’s no Toni and very little Tabitha Tate tonight. Boo.

• I still think they should sell the Pop Tate bobbleheads they keep showing.

• Kevin gets put through the emotional and physical ringer this episode. We learn that disparaging remarks from his mother impacted his self-image so much that he turned to cruising in Fox Forest. (The fate of Mrs. Keller is unknown, so it is possible that she will make an appearance in an upcoming episode). The assault that Kevin endured was brutal to watch, but the scene between Kevin and his father was powerful and cathartic. It will be interesting to see where the character of Kevin goes from here, because it is absurdly beyond time the writers give him a personality trait other than chronic thirst.

• Someone on the Riverdale production staff must really love Friday Night Lights.

• I don’t believe for a second that Polly is actually dead. There’s more of a chance of Hiram being eaten by Mothmen Aliens or Archie getting a compelling A-plot.

• I hate on the football storyline a lot in this review, but I do find all the talk about tainting the podunk town’s football league’s prestige to be weirdly funny.

• Pop’s sells take out cold cuts too? Helluva business, that Chok’lit Shoppe.

• “I’m saying that things happen, especially in Riverdale,” declares Jughead, in the most obvious statement in the episode.

• Please let them do a Mulder and Scully thing with Jughead and Betty.

• I think there’s more Mr. Weatherbee in tonight’s episode than there has been in the entire series to date. That’s a fantastic thing.

• So is Reggie done with Hiram for good now? He is such a key figure in the comics that it would be fantastic if the series figured out what the hell to do with him.

• Having reviewed this show from the first episode, I’ve learned a thing or two about how Riverdale storylines work. Therefore I’m calling it now: Glen is the Trash Bag Killer. You think so too, I know it.

• So far this season has drawn influence from everything from cryptozoological monsters to the real-life crimes of Patrick Kearney. Next week marks the mid-season finale, and the promise of everything from aliens to Pop’s possibly being blown up by Hiram? Whatever happens, cherish it, as the show then won’t return until July.

The post Riverdale Season 5 Episode 9 Review – Chapter 85: Destroyer appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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gaycrouton · 5 years ago

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Please please please because you are so good at smut and also at Msr humorous exchanges write the prompt #34 “During 'Three of a Kind' drugged Scully thinks she is a stripper dressed as an FBI agent. The Gunmen keep her from stripping by telling her the bachelor of honor hasn't arrived yet. Mulder then arrives, and they leave him to deal with a stripping Scully” if I have to beg let me know I’ll do it!! You are my favorite writer on here! Thank you for existing 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

DEAR ANON, thank you so so much for your kind words! You’re too kind! ALSO, I apologize this literally took me like eight months to answer. I hope you’re still here.

This was in response to the @xfpornbattle ‘s battle in December I think? I wrote a different “Three of a Kind” story then, so I tried to make this one as different as I could. Here’s a link to the other story, but I hope I did this justice you kind kind anon! Illicit Desires Link Here

————————————————

“I don’ wanna wear this costume anymore,” she pouted with a playful lilt, smiling after successfully undoing the third button of her shirt after twenty minutes of struggling.

A chorus of ‘No’s and ‘Jesus Christ’s erupted from the three men before Byers grabbed her hands and gently dragged them away from herself. “Scully,” he stated like an angry parent. “Stop trying to take off your clothes.”

“But isn’t this wha’ you want?” she teased, leaning forward to kiss Beyers who let go of her like she was on fire.

“He’s going to kill us. Simple as that. Mulder is going to get here and murder each and every one of us,” Beyers moaned, rubbing his hands over his face as Scully giggled and fumbled with her fourth button.

Byers had ended up calling Mulder shortly after they lured Scully here, he just was too afraid of what the redheaded agent’s reaction would be that he felt it imperative that Mulder come to act as a barrier. He could tell Scully was beginning to tolerate, maybe he could even dare to say like, them, but he knew for a fact she wouldn’t blow up on them as much if Mulder was here to talk her down.

But that was before she was drugged.

Now not only did they have to deal with a drugged up Special Agent Dana Scully whom seemed to think her work attire was an outfit for a strip tease, who undoubtedly would tell them all off in the morning, but Mulder was due any time now. However mad Scully would be about her situation was eclipsed by the hellfire her short tempered partner was sure to enact on them when he saw the state she was in.

“I thought the shot would counteract the anoitic effect or whatever,” Langley stated while they all watched Scully struggle to pull herself upright on the bed.

“That’s what Suzanne said,” Beyers exclaimed as she continued struggling with the button that would turn a disheveled appearance into an indecent one.

“Where is she anyway? I think a feminine influence would be better for this type of situation,” Frohike asked nervously, trying to avoid gawking at Scully.

“Oh no, I broke it!” Scully whined from the bed, holding the button out for Beyers to take from her.

“Scully, please,” he pled, taking it from her as she used his arm as leverage to stand up.

“But issa party!” she proclaimed with a giggle.

“Scully, scully,” Langley repeated, trying to get her attention and ended up inadvertently holding her in his arms, careening his head away from her attempt to snuggle him. “You have to wait to take off any of your clothes until the guest of honor gets here, okay?”

“What are you-” Beyers started, stopping short as Langley shot him a look.

“Who’s that?” Scully asked, kicking off her shoes haphazardly.

“Your partner, Fox Mulder. Tall, broody, and comley,” he told her.

“Oh Muldey!” she exclaimed with a beaming smile.

“Yeah, do you know who he is?” Langley asked slowly.

“He’s my favorite person in the whole wide world,” she confessed dramatically.

“You’re his favorite too, which is why you need to stay dressed okay? When he gets here you can strip as much as you want,” Langely replied, trying to direct her to sit down with no avail.

“Langley!” Beyers chastised. Last he’d heard, Mulder still hadn’t made any sort of move on Scully nor her on him.

“What? Like he’d care,” Langely replied, watching as Scully slipped out of his grasp.

“Okay,” she agreed reluctantly before focusing on Frohike who was sitting in a chair trying to track the data they’d gotten. She took a few lazy steps towards him until she was close enough to sit on his lap and wrap her arms around his neck. “But can we have some fun before he comes?” she asked, hugging Frohike’s head against her breasts.

“What the fuck is going on?” an angry voice shouted from the entryway. They all turned in time to see one fuming Fox Mulder standing in front of Suzanne.

“I’m sorry, I thought this was your friend,” Suzanne apologized as she walked behind Mulder’s thunderous footsteps.

“He is,” the three replied in unison.

“Muldey, you’re here!” Scully beamed from her seat on Frohike. Her enthusiasm caused Mulder to falter and shoot Frohike a look of pure confusion. They all stayed still in rigid anticipation of what was to happen next. Scully, oblivious to it all, raised her hands towards Mulder and exclaimed, “Happy Birthday!”

“What the hell did you guys do to her?” he asked, taking one of her hands in his own and helping her off of Melvin’s lap and into his arms.

“She was drugged,” Frohike responded, trying to conceal his blush.

“She was what?” Mulder exclaimed, jumping in surprise when she leaned up to press a kiss to his throat.

“It’s a long story,” Beyers sighed. “But she was given an anecdote, so it should wear off relatively soon,” he explained.

“I missed you sooooooo much,” Scully whined, drawing his attention away from the three men and back to the petite redhead swaying in his arms.

“I missed you too,” Mulder reassured quietly, moving his hands to stabilize her before looking back at Beyers. “Is she okay?”

“Yes,” Suzanne spoke up. “The drug will wear off relatively soon, she just needs to sleep it off. Anoitic histamine impedes higher brain functions. It promotes suggestibility which is why she’s acting different.”

“Different? She seems completely out of it!” Mulder exclaimed, trying to keep his voice neutral for Scully, but his worry permeating through nonetheless.

“Anoitic histamine is often used for mind control. Brain washing,” Suzanne explained.

Scully giggled and held tighter onto Mulder, burying her face in his chest which he acknowledged but only seemed to get more anxious about. “And why the hell was someone trying to get her in this state?” Mulder seethed.

“Well not everyone who is inflicted turns into a bimbo,” Frohike responded. “It’s not what you’re probably thinking.”

“What did you just say?” Mulder barked, turning around with Scully attached to him.

“Oh no, Muldey’s mad,” Scully proclaimed with a mock expression of anger that was too cute to be in anyway intimidating.

Mulder let out a frustrated sigh before putting a hand on her back to get her attention. “No-no I’m not mad, Scully. I’m just worried about you,” he mumbled sweetly, obviously only wanting her to hear that, but the room was too small for it not to be broadcast to everyone else.

“What Melvin meant was that whoever did this didn’t mean for her to get in this state to take advantage of her. They probably wanted to get her in this state so she would be too airheaded, sorry,” he added at Mulder’s glare, “-to finish the autopsy.”

“Autopsy?” Mulder repeated.

“Wait, you mean-?” Frohie said at the same time.

“Yeah. I don’t think she was jet lagged like Langley thought. I think they injected her sometime around then so she couldn’t determine cause of death.”

“Beeeeeeeeep,” Scully exclaimed from her position on Mulder’s chest.

Mulder let out an aggravated huff as he figured out his next move. “Listen,” he demanded, looking at Beyers. “I want to know everything that went on, but taking care of her is my first-” he got distracted as he looked down and saw Scully unbuttoning his shirt. He reached up and grabbed her hand, halting her motions, much to her dismay. “-my first priority. She will be okay right? This is only temporary?” he asked.

“She just needs to sleep,” Beyers nodded.

“Not that that’ll be happening anytime soon,” Langley joked.

“Do I need to do anything?” Mulder asked, trying to back away from Scully who was still trying to undo his shirt.

“I’d just make sure she didn’t escape to the bar downstairs. There’s a line of men dying for her to come back,” Frohike said severely.

“What-” Mulder started defensively before getting distracted by Scully’s hands on his face. “Wh-what do you need, Scully?” he asked in a much gentler tone, giving her his full attention.

“I don’ wanna wear this anymore,” she whined, pulling at her shirt.

Mulder’s gaze followed down to her partially-exposed breasts before shooting back up. “Oh yeah,” Langley added. “She thinks she’s a stripper for some reason.”

“Excuse me?” Mulder asked, grabbing her hands in his own again to prevent her from taking off a fifth button.

“Long story, but she’s been excited to see you,” Langley responded, holding in a laugh as Mulder turned red as Scully loudly proclaimed words of affection at him.

“You’re so han’some Muldey. I missed you so much. I’m so glad y-you’re here. Can we go han’ out?” she rambled, swaying back in forth in what looked to be an attempt to get Mulder to dance with her.

“O-okay, Scully. We’ll go,” he reassured, wrapping an arm around her middle and walking her to the door.

“We’re not done with this conversation,” Mulder said severely, walking out the door Suzanne was propping open for them.

“Good luck,” Langley shouted out as the door closed before turning to the remaining people in the room and stating, “He has no idea what he’s in for.”

XXXXXXXXXX

“Scully, please,” he begged for what felt like the hundredth time since they’d entered his room all but five minutes ago.

“Aw come on Muldey, I jus’ wanna have some fun with you,” she cooed, tantalizingly swaying her hips side to side like a drunken metronome.

For some damn reason, she was under the impression she needed to give him a striptease. He’d tried unsuccessfully in the elevator to button her shirt back up, but one of the buttons was missing and she’d just kept pushing her chest out so that his fingers would end up grazing her breasts.

Now that they were in his hotel room, she was insatiable.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed she’d pushed him on and was watching with fascinated anxiety as she continued unbuttoning, more accurately - ripping, her blouse. Scully didn’t wear undershirts. Noted. Each undone button deepened the ivory line that was as dangerous as it was tantalizing, the only break was a thin black strip in between the valley of her breasts.

It was a Catch 22, if he got up to stop her, she’d be all over him, but if he sat here and watched her, he felt like he was taking advantage of her. He was going to have to ask Frohike what exactly happened in the hotel lobby, because when he tried to ignore her, she’d threaten to go down there. Short of trying her to the bedm which he was not going to do, he was at a loss.

“Scully, can we watch a movie or something?” he asked as she ungracefully pulled her shirt out of her skirt to gain access to the remaining buttons.

She shushed him before taking a few stumbling steps towards him, now making her close enough for her perfume to waft towards him. When she’d pushed him on the bed earlier ‘to get a front row seat’, he immediately grabbed a pillow and kept it on his lap the whole time. Having her all over him and acting so affectionate was having more of an effect on him than he cared to let her know.

She managed to get the last few buttons off and with a squeal of excitement, she shed the blouse to the floor, leaving her in a black skirt and a matching black lacy bra. Fuck.

“Scully, I have some spare clothes in my bag, you can use one of my shirts as a nightgown,” he offered, suddenly taking great interest in the painting of a poppy field on the wall.

Ziiippp

He glanced over just in time to see her bending over and trying to step out of her skirt. However, her balance was shit right now and he saw her careening over right next to the sharp edge of a countertop. “Scully, hey,” he shouted, jumping off the bed and grabbing her upper arms to prevent her from hitting her head or falling.

She used his support to stand up fully and look up at him with a beaming smile that made his throat clench. “Awwh, are you tryin’ to sweep me off my feet?” she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body flush against his own.

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” he replied honestly, trying to reign in a groan building at the back of his throat from how good her abdomen felt against his erection.

“You’re funny,” she snickered. “You don’ wanna hurt me but you’re stabbin’ me.”

He cocked his head to the side before realizing what she meant. He grabbed her arms and gently pushed her away at the same time he concaved his hips away from her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“Noooooo,” she whined uncharacteristically. “I liked it.”

He let out a slow breath as he realized she was now clad in only her bra and underwear. She wore cheeky, tiny underwear. Duly Noted. “You won’t like it in the morning.”

She took a step towards him, and he took a step backwards. This pattern continued until his legs were flush against the bed and he fell on his ass on it. Scully used this opportunity to step in between his spread legs and reach behind her back, pushing her breasts in his face. “I think I will,” she nodded.

It took him a moment to realize what she was struggling to do, and his hands instantly shot out to still her movements. The last thing he needed was for her bare tits to be directly in his face. “You’re killing me,” he exhaled, not knowing what to do.

Scully pouted her bottom lip at her worry and let her hands fall. “Do you need a hug, Muldey?” she asked.

Before he had a chance to say no, she wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him to her chest, effectively smashing his face in between her breasts. Her creamy smooth breasts that felt pillow soft against his cheeks and lips and smelled torturously like her. “I loooooove you,” she beamed, swiveling in place so that her chest kept rubbing against him constantly.

“Mpfhsully,” he mumbled against her skin, placing his hands on her hips in an attempt to get her to still. Oddly, in this moment he was reminded of what Clyde Bruckman had told him all those years ago. Would suffocating in Scully’s breasts count as auto erotic asphyxiation?

“I don’ want you to be sad,” she confided in a comically sad voice.

He was able to pull back enough to say, “I’m not sad, Scully. I promise.” His affirmation seemed to make her happy because her frown quickly became a smile. At the same time he smiled back to placate her, he noticed the straps of her bra slide down her shoulders. Shit.

She hadn’t stopped earlier because she was distracted, she stopped because she’d unclasped it. He leaned away in an attempt to get away, but the movement only resulted in the bra straps coming to rest in the crooks of her arms, revealing her rosy tipped breasts to him. His cock ached at the sight and he had to close his eyes to tune out the sensory overload going on. “Do you not like them?” her sad voice asked, so much vulnerability coming through despite the drug that it broke his heart.

“They’re very nice, Scully. I just don’t think you really want me to see them,” he replied. They’re perfect, Scully would’ve been a more accurate response, but he’ll keep that to himself.

“I always wan’ you to look at them,” she argued.

He felt a hardened nipple graze his cheek and he jumped violently in response, opening his eyes and seeing she’d managed to get closer. He’d always pictured being in this position before, but usually he got to put her mouth on her rather than careen away. This was the ultimate cruelty, Scully was finally making a move on him and he couldn’t do a damn thing. He’d never forgive himself if he took advantage of her while she was vulnerable.

While he was looking around for something else to pay attention to while he lectured her, she’d reached down and grabbed his hand and had pulled it up to her chest, resulting in him cupping one of her breasts. The weight of it in his hand felt amazing, but he pulled away immediately. “Stop doing that,” he chastised lightly, not wanting to hurt her feelings. He was learning drugged Scully had a tendency to pout and openly declare her sadness - two things sober Scully never did. Thank god for that too, because he was quickly learning it was his weakness.

“Why?” she asked, sliding one leg onto the bed next to his so that she was half-straddling him.

“Because you aren’t you right now, and I won’t let you do anything you’d regret,” he replied. Too late.

“I am me right now,” she argued, trying to get her other leg up but not having the energy to do so, resulting in her swaying and grabbing Mulder’s shoulders for balance.

“You’ve been drugged, Scully,” he told her sternly, trying to jostle her leg back down so he could stand up.

She made an exaggerated gasping sound as if this was news to her. “That’s awful!”

“I know,” he responded with just as much enthusiasm, as if confiding a secret with her.

“S-so,” she started as he stood up fully and switched positions with her, sitting her on the bed so he could grab his bag. She seemed to be struggling with her words and he could see a line of frustration wrinkling her forehead. “So, we can’ have any fun?” she asked sadly.

“We can have fun, Scully,” he replied, tossing the bag next to her on the bed before unzipping it. “Just fun that involves us wearing clothes.”

She whined and fell backwards onto the bed, letting her arms splay out at her sides. Oh how he’d imagined that exact visage so many times. She rolled her head to the side so she could look at him over her breast. “Can I see your penis?”

He let out a huff of shock as his eyes widened. “What?”

“We’d be even. You got to see my boobs,” she explained, lifting her arms up to squish her breasts together in emphasis as if he could have ever possibly forgotten what they looked like.

“I told you not to show me your boobs, so that’s on you. Besides, my penis wouldn’t be nearly as pretty, so it’s not an even trade,” he replied, barely believing this was an actual conversation he was having right now.

At that, she sat up and scooted closer to him, so she was flush with the bag. “Hey,” she declared, trying to get his attention.

“Yes, Scully?” he deadpanned, wishing he’d packed some sleeping pills or anything that might calm her down.

“Look a’ me,” she demanded.

With a heavy sigh, he stilled his motion in the bag and looked directly in her eyes to appease her. She had her face set in the most stern, no-nonsense Scully look he’d ever seen, but it was like a caricature version of herself that was so endearing he had to bite back a smile.

Pleased that she had his attention, she reached up and grabbed the sides of his head carelessly. She leaned forward and he wanted to laugh at how seriously she wanted him to take her words. “I don’ wan’ you to doubt yourself,” she demanded. His forehead crinkled in confusion, but before he could as what she meant, she added, “You have a very pretty penis.”

Jesus Christ.

“You’ve never seen it,” he retorted. “And no penis is pretty.”

She nodded her head exaggeratedly. “Yes I have. Well, not like that,” she said, pointing to his erection. “But I’ve seen you fl-flaccid and it was very nice. I don’ like hearing you be down on yourself, Muller. Everythin’ about you is pretty,” she reassured.

Dana Kathrine Scully giving him a drugged lecture on body positivity, Vegas really was as wild as people said. “Okay, thank you, Scully. I appreciate that.”

Accepting his statement, she nodded and let her hands fall into her lap. Now that whatever that was had passed, he was able to find one of his nicer t-shirts for her to wear and he pulled it out of the bag. It was barely visible fpr all of three seconds before Scully whined, “Noooooooo.”

“Scully, you need to wear something for bed,” he stated.

“Not that one!” she demanded.

He sighed and set it back in the bag. “Okay, which do you want?”

“The Oxford one,” she replied almost immediately.

He quirked a brow in surprise, but looked for it regardless. “But it’s worn out and got holes in it.”

“But i’s my favorite shirt of yours. You-” she broke to hiccup. “You wear it when we hang out an’-an’ it looks so good on you.”

The statement made him curious as to how much of sober Scully was actually coming through in this conversation. Deciding not to give it too much thought, he found the shirt and passed it to her, only to have her raise her arms over her head. He decided to indulge her and rolled up the shirt so he could drape it over her with minimal touching. When it fell down on her, he brushed his hand across her neck so he could untuck her hair from underneath the shirt.

She smiled sweetly at him before yawning and turning around to crawl up the bed. He’d never been so happy to see someone yawn before. “Hey!” she called as he set the bag on the ground. He turned to look at her and she violently patted the bed next to her.

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Find something on TV okay?” he told her, hoping to distract her while he changed into his pyjamas - which was just his undershirt and boxers. It luckily worked and he was sliding under the covers within a minute, free of any sexually suggestive comments from the peanut gallery.

She left it on Die Hard and snuggled into the bed, turning so she was facing him. “Thank you for taking care of me Muldey,” she murmured, succumbing to her exhaustion with heavy lids.

“Of course. It was about time I tried to repay the favor,” he laughed.

Her lips quirked and he felt like he could finally enjoy looking at her. Her hair was spilling out onto the pillow and the reflections from the tv were casting shadows on her serene face. Somehow this felt even more intimate than when he was defacto motorboating her earlier. She mumbled something but he couldn’t quite hear. “What was that Scully?”

“You really are my favorite. You know that right?” she mumbled a little louder, reaching her hand out to grab his.

He let her fingers interlaced in his as he watched her nose twitch. He had no idea what she was talking about, but felt touched nonetheless.

“You’re my favorite too, Scully,” he replied to her sleeping form, placing a kiss to her temple before watching her for just a while longer.

Much like she’d watch him when she woke up, a smile tugging at her lips at the endless ways her partner managed to make her fall for him.

#x files fanfiction #three of a kind #msr #gaycrouton #my fanfiction #prompt #dana scully #fox mulder

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masterthespianduchovny · 5 years ago

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Maybe this has been discussed, maybe it hasn’t, but I think what really makes S8-9 hard to digest isn’t simply Mulder’s disappearance, but most important, Scully becoming uncharacteristically trusting.

Mulder being missing is a huge thing, so his absence was going to always be felt. But, Scully and Mulder served as our ethical/moral center for 7 seasons of the show. They were the good guys, fought the food fight, and were always on the side on the little man.

One of the most noteworthy things of the show was there inherent and explicit trust in one another. Another interesting thing to note: despite mulder’s paranoia, he could trusting, where as Scully ONLY trusted Mulder.

Constantly throughout the series we literally hear her tell Mulder that she only trusts him or she makes it quite known that’s how she feels. Scully is very stingy with trust when it comes to everyone else who isn’t Mulder. Perhaps in the beginning of season one she trusted others, but even during the first season, she started increasingly distrusting. Then, once she was abducted, it was rare to see her trust a non Mulder person.

Most importantly, Scully didn’t even trust skinner. Someone who consistently had their backs. Every blue moon, he did something to protect his neck, but I don’t recall him ever flat out betraying Mulder and Scully (without plans to save them or a good reason).

When skinner is framed for murder, Scully believes that he did or it is leaning towards believing that. It is only because Mulder pushes the issue that e case is investigated. She doesn’t refer to his character, their working relationship—nothing to even entertain the idea that skinner could’ve been innocent. There is even evidence that she didn’t trust him at the end of season seven (and, hell, probably beyond).

She didn’t trust the Lone Gunmen, despite working with them on and off for years.

We know she didn’t trust Diana and Phoebe, but I don’t think it was primarily driven by jealousy. Mulder gets distracted easily and can let a sense of comraderie and loyalty influence him.

We saw him trust deep throat and Maria. Despite providing good intel, they also betrayed him as well.

Scully may defend a person’s character generally speaking, but she does not trust on a personal or professional level beyond that.

That only extends to Mulder.

So, now that this foundation has been laid, let’s look into season 8:

Doggett is sent to investigate Mulder’s disappearance and pretends to be some random officer. Tries to manipulate Scully into thinking Mulder didn’t trust her and was confiding in other people.

I mean, I get his angle, BUT Scully...Scully, that’s something she’s never going to forget. And we see how deeply his words angered her. Calm, cool, and collected Scully threw water at his face.

So, we see hints of her not trusting him when she investigated the case by herself, but then, after that case when he chastises her...she starts to trust him a little bit???

And it doesn’t make a lick of sense.

Scully has less reason to trust doggett. For starters, Scully usually eviscerated anyone for talking to her like that. But, also...he was sent by Kersh. Why wouldn’t Scullys paranoia ramp up, esp because they did that with Krycek (Diana and Spencer). They’ve sent double agents to compromise the x files. Hell, even she was sent down there to debunk it.

I know doggett gave her his speech, but again, Scully doesn’t believe it trust other people. Of all of the people sent down to debunk and compromise the x files, she is the only one who stayed and believed in what she did. What makes matters worse: doggett believes the x files is horseshit. He essentially believes that it’s a waste of time.

Why would Scully have faith and trust a person like that to protect the x files on a basic level?

What incentive would doggett have to thoroughly investigate cases, find undeniable evidence, believe victims/witnesses of the supernatural kind? He doesn’t believe in this stuff at all when Scully decides to start trusting him.

Scully didn’t believe it much herself, BUT she believed in Mulder and she had a much bigger axe to grind with the FBI and the shadow people than Doggett did. I’m not exactly sure why doggett was willing to risk as much as he did.

But, circling back to scullys skepticism, she legitimately tried to validate Mulder’s work. Doggett came off as dismissive and believing the victims were crazy.

So, we see that Scully automatically doesn’t trust non Mulder people, but there is no professional reason for her to trust him either, despite him keeping her secret. And keep in mind: the stakes were higher at that time than when she was assigned to Mulder. Him protecting her secret could’ve played into a long game.

But, then...she defends him against Mulder to Mulder in private and that’s where the show loses me once and for all.

I’m not saying that Scully would never defend doggett or anyone against Mulder’s criticisms (I also think Mulder was uncharacteristically hostile), BUT Scully either would’ve been unsure or advising Mulder that they have to be careful with how he approaches doggett for a couple of reasons.

But, since Chris Carter wants us to like and trust doggett, Scully suddenly likes and trust him even tho that has never been her MO throughout the entire series. She may have been trusting in the first season to some extent, but Scully ended a friendship/connection concerning Mulder. Again, it took her almost a decade to even trust skinner despite all that they been through, yet she trusts doggett???

Her trust of Reyes was less offensive because they didn’t try so hard, but again, it’s a hard pass for Scully trusting her either.

I know they flirted with the idea of Scully trying to be Mulder for an episode, but without a doubt, she would’ve been the most paranoid person in the FBI after his abduction for a very long time. I can’t imagine her having any type of meaningful relationship while Mulder was missing, the fbi investigating it, AND possibly her. I can’t imagine her trusting anyone at all after that.

Her partner, her best friend, her lover, the father of her child, and literally the only person she trusted was fucking abducted. Scully is traumatized and scarred. She’s careful, fragile, but cautious. Terrified and unafraid at the same time.

It doesn’t connect as someone else explained, it was supposed to be Mulder and Scully against the world not Mulder, Scully, doggett, Reyes....

But, it feels as if, besides Scully not truly being her paranoid, untrusting self, they missed the baptismal by fire. Their trust was unearned based on how we know Mulder and Scully.

#the x files #dana scully #fox mulder #john doggett #monica reyes

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playstoryscape · 5 years ago

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Hey there! First, I just want to say I looove the work you guys are doing. The stories, the art and the designs on the app are amazing. But I actually wanted to ask something. I have never seen an episode of X-files in my life; how much does that influence negatively for me playing your show?

Going a bit out of order on our ask backlog (thanks everyone for your enthusiasm and patience!) to answer this one!

Thank you for a very good question anon! While the original The X-Files is a very quality show, in my professional opinion, you do not need a lot of knowledge about it to play The X-Files (ours).

Here are some key things to know:

Agents Mulder and Scully have been agents as part of the X-Files division for a while, and they have a very tight partnership.

Walter Skinner has been the Assistant Director in the FBI (and the secret X-Files unit) for decades.

John Doggett used to work in the X-Files division.

X-Files are FBI cases touching on inexplicable or paranormal phenomenon, ranging from psychic activity to alien encounters.

However, you do get a bunch of this backstory (and more) by playing through the story as two new X-Files agents, Jessica Dexler and Aaron Fulton! Their experiences are all new and you can learn more alongside them.

Hope that helps and if you do find yourself needing any explanation, our ask box is always open. :)

#x files #x-files #storyscape #ask #anon #backstory

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contrivedcoincidences6 · 6 years ago

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Emotional manipulation - "no one will ever love you the way I do."

Thank’s babe. :) It’s almost 3am and I am feeling weird as fuck so I’m not sure of how good this one is but the muse was screaming and I was finally able to put fingers to keyboard so I had to.

Emotional manipulation- “no one will ever love you the way I do.”

In the days that Dana thought would be her last on earth she ruminated over her life. She considered her father and sister, the friends she lost in this quest that in the end will be the death of her, but mostly she thinks of Mulder.

Multiple times she wakes up to his sleeping form in a chair next to her bed. Sometimes he is holding her hand and sometimes he’s holding her hand and resting his stubbled cheek on it in a position that cannot be conducive to a good nights rest.

It’s in those times that she wants him the most. He hasn’t hidden his feelings for her but he’s been careful in the past few months to not quite say everything he’s thinking around her. Meanwhile, Dana is just beginning to understand her own feelings for him.

The men in her life have always made her feel less than. Her father did so mostly unintentionally. He was a disciplinarian and he did put more stress on his younger, more studious, daughter because of Melissa’s wild nature but mostly it was how much he was away. Each time he returned it was as if they had to rebuild their relationship and she always felt deep down that he left again because she had somehow let him down.

“Stop crying Dana, stand up straight. Study hard and stay strong Starbuck, I’ll be back before you know it.”

Of course, those were just the misunderstandings that have always happened between a child and their parent.

Bill did try to make her work for his approval. He had no control over Melissa and was usually forced to listen to her so he exerted his small amount of power over his younger sister.

As a girl, Dana only wanted to please Bill, as a teen she resented him but was still desperate for his approval, and as a woman, she always felt eight again whenever he chastised her.

“Dana you’re too old to be acting this way. Stop with the rebellion already, we get it. You know dad would want better for you.”

The next major male influence was Daniel. A mess of a relationship. He was so smart and he’d zeroed in on her from day one. She understands now that his intentions were always less than pure but at the time it was so exciting. So many promises were made and she truly fell for each one of them until the day his wife showed up at her door and she truly saw the consequences of her actions. Daniel had been furious about the entire situation. He told Dana that they needed to run away together and when she reminded him of his children he seemed unfazed. Daniel had always held the intellectual upper hand, always reminding her of his maturity and experience. He always knew what was right and she believed him.

Until that day.

“You need me, Dana. Think of all you could accomplish! The FBI is a waste of your talents. And deep down you know that no one will ever love you the way I do.”

Even though she knew he was wrong and knew she didn’t need him part of her still held his last words in her heart.

Jack was different. He was kind to her and respected her but still held that same air of authority. Dana never seemed to be enough for him. The first time she was injured in the line of duty he didn’t even visit her in the hospital. It was just a broken arm but his forgetfulness hurt worse than the break. When they finally decided to move on he patted her hand and moved on.

He was never really meant to settle down.

“This is the right choice, Dana. I’m sorry I’m leaving so quickly but this lead is still hot, you understand. I paid the tab. We’ll talk soon.”

But Mulder.

She still found herself trying to prove herself to him but he never asked her to do it. He didn’t demand anything of her; he just knew she would come through. His total faith in her blew her away at times. Mulder had his faults. Times, when he ran off before calling her continuously, brought back bad memories but even in those cases he always knew she would save him. He counted on her, respected her, and she suspected, loved her deeply.

His love was unselfish in its way. Despite the times he would take her for granted she knew he cared.

The proof of this was sitting right in front of her bruised bags under his eyes and a rumpled shirt.

He didn’t leave like her father.

Didn’t belittle like her brother.

Didn’t demand like Daniel.

And didn’t forget like Jack.

He just loved her.

“Hey,” his voice is sleepy and raspy, “How long have you been awake? You should have woken me.”

Scully’s cheeks warm slightly and she looks down that their clasped hands.

“You need your sleep Mulder, and that chair can’t be comfortable. You need to go home and get a good nights rest.”

He shakes his head vehemently, “I won’t leave you, Scully.”

Mulder takes her hand and holds it to his lips, “Never. I’ll be here as long as you let me stay.”

His puppy dog eyes beg her and she cups his cheek, “Then stay.”

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sportsnightnut · 6 years ago

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double chocolate muffins and cigarettes

My Valentine’s Day Fic Exchange entry for Charnette (ScullyLovesQueequeg on AO3). A little angst, a little unrequited love, and not a lot of fluff, per her request. :)

Nicole ( @gaycrouton), thank you so much for setting up these fic exchanges. They are delightful and fun and I love this so much. <3

the you I miss does not exist, but I’ve never wanted anybody more than this -john mayer

It’s 5:53 on Thursday morning, and Dana Scully’s first thought is that she really, really, really wants a cigarette.

Her alarm isn’t supposed to go off for another seven minutes. She could’ve had seven more glorious, unconscious minutes where she wasn’t awake and she wasn’t thinking about him or it or anything . But her internal clock decided that wasn’t necessary, so now she’s here, awake, staring at the ceiling and contemplating which expletives best fit her mood this morning.

Scully throws the covers off, sliding off the bed and right into her slippers. She pads out to the living room and turns on the television, which is still on The Weather Channel from yesterday morning. She throws the remote unceremoniously on the couch and makes her way to the kitchen.

While she starts the coffee, she listens for the infamous “Local on the 8s” segment to advise her on what to wear today. For the end of February in Washington, it’s been unseasonably, and somewhat obnoxiously, warm. As she suspected, high of 51 today, which is practically balmy after last week’s snow showers and highs in the low 20s. Her sinuses are furious.

Scully’s shower this morning is quick, partially because she doesn’t care that much today, and partially because there’s been a lack of hot water in the building lately. She’s not about to risk an extra five minutes just in case it turns to ice

Black suit, white shirt, black heels, a swipe of lipstick, and she’s out the door at 7:06.

She doesn’t feel like driving today, so she takes the Metro, Yellow line to the Archives station. There’s a bakery she likes about a block in the opposite direction of work, and since it’s the kind of morning that calls for a muffin the size of her face, Scully stops there first before ducking into the pharmacy next door to grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

She smokes two on the walk back. At first, it burns her throat and her lungs, but then she decides she kind of likes the feeling, so she finishes the first and shakes out a second. Scully finds an odd sense of pleasure in grinding a cigarette butt into the concrete sidewalk, something she would normally find repulsive.

When she steps off the elevator and into the office (their office? his office?), she’s surprised to find that Mulder is already there, digging through a file cabinet. He turns around when he hears her open the door.

“Eight o’clock on the dot, Agent Scully,” Mulder remarks with a smile, the kind Scully can’t decide if she loves or hates because she can’t decide if it’s endearing or annoying. This morning, in particular, it feels annoying.

“Mmm,” she replies as she hangs her coat. Since he isn’t currently at the desk, Scully decides it’s hers for the moment and takes a seat, tearing open the paper bag to reveal the double chocolate muffin inside. She takes a bite, wiping the crumbs off her skirt onto the floor, before she reaches for her travel mug of coffee and takes a drink.

“Are you okay?” Mulder asks, and it’s this, this question, this seemingly innocent yet not so innocent question that causes Dana Scully to snap.

And she’s not sure if it’s because he asked it or if it’s how he asked it or why he asked it, but if she were asked to detail everything leading up to this moment that led her to react the way she did, here is what she would tell you:

One: she’s been surrounded by alpha male figures her entire life, the most notable being her father. Captain William Scully. Sometimes she wonders what it might’ve been like to grow up away from the military, away from the structure, the rigidity, the “you’ll do what you’re ordered to do” culture that dictated their family. What would it’ve been like to have a more benevolent father? Would it have made any difference? For her? For her brothers? For Maggie?

When she’d asked Maggie whether or not he was proud of her, all Maggie had said was: “He was your father.”

What was that supposed to mean? Was it just assumed that he was proud of her? As much as Scully doesn’t want to admit it, she was desperate for his approval, and she really needed to hear it from him. But now he’s gone, and she can’t ask that of a dead man.

Two : Sometimes it is really fucking exhausting to be a woman in a male-dominated field in a male-dominated organization in a male-dominated government in a male-dominated society. Could Dana Scully run circles around half the men in the FBI? Absolutely. Is she a better shot than half the men in the FBI? Absolutely. But does she also have to prove herself every day, far more than any of the men she works with ever have?

Absolutely.

Three: Maggie cannot seem to stop pestering her about “settling down,” especially now that she’s gasp turned thirty.

They had dinner for her birthday last Sunday; a nice, quiet, mother and daughter meal. Scully ordered a fancy salad with grilled salmon and an expensive glass of pinot grigio, and almost as soon as her fork pierced those first bites of lettuce, Maggie said “So, Dana…” and Scully tried so desperately not to roll her eyes because she knew exactly where Maggie was headed.

Maggie means well. Scully knows that she means well. It’s just that if Scully hadn’t already been slightly self-conscious about celebrating her thirtieth birthday by having dinner with her mother, she was as soon as those two words left Maggie’s lips.

Scully is a doctor. A board-certified physician who is also a badass, gun-wielding Special Agent for the FB-fucking-I and all she can think about right now is the fact that she isn’t married and she’s having her thirtieth birthday dinner with her mother.

Four: Speaking of that whole doctor thing.

Scully knew early on in life that she wanted to be a doctor. Heavily influenced by her parents, of course, though she felt she’d come to the decision on her own. She loved science and logic, and she also felt called to serve others; practicing medicine was the perfect blend of two things she truly loved.

And sometimes Scully would daydream about becoming a doctor; getting that white coat, making rounds in the hospital. Maybe specializing in surgery, maybe pediatrics, maybe pediatric surgery. And she’d meet a handsome fellow physician, and they’d be an absolutely adorable couple, eating lunch together in the cafeteria and consulting on each other’s cases.

Now she’s found herself in the basement of the Hoover building, daydreaming instead about the man sitting just feet from her. He’s not a doctor, no, but he’s incredibly well-educated in his own right, having attended Oxford and graduated with honors from the academy.

But that’s just it: all she’s done so far is daydream.

Five : Speaking of Mulder.

Sometimes he’s irritating. Really irritating. For a few different reasons, of course, one being the fact that he is obnoxiously tall. All six feet of him towering over her five-foot-three frame. Mulder likes to stand behind her, often when she’s performing autopsies. He’d tell you it’s because he finds it--and her--fascinating. Scully doesn’t know that, so it feels alot like he’s watching her every move, waiting for something that’ll prove he’s right and she’s wrong.

And Mulder can also be a bit of a condescending asshole.

But here’s the thing: he’s also really, really attractive. And really, really smart. And did she mention attractive?

Six: Scully finds herself coming to Mulder’s defense more often than not.

They’re not dating or in any kind of relationship other than “work partners,” yet Scully finds herself defending him and/or having to defend him. Regularly. To their colleagues, to Skinner, to random strangers who don’t know him. And having to do this all the damn time is starting to get irritating.

It’s not only because she’s tired of defending him. She’s also tired of other people not understanding Mulder; not knowing her partner well enough to see how intelligent he is and that really, he doesn’t need her to defend him. Sometimes people will listen to her more than they’ll listen to Mulder because she’s the logical, rational one, without stopping to consider that Mulder might actually have a point. Playing the role of defender is, quite honestly, wearing on her.

Seven: Scully has made some hints, both subtle and not-so-subtle, that she likes Mulder as more than a work partner.

But he’s either an idiot or he’s missed every single one of them.

Does she really need to stand so close to him? No.

Does she need to purposely touch his hand every time he passes over a file or gives her a pen? No.

Does she need to sit on the bed in his hotel room and pass takeout containers back and forth while they compare notes and work on their reports? No.

Does she need to linger even after they’ve finished their work and talk with him late into the night? Definitely not.

Does she need to wear that one suit she knows he really likes because she’s seen him look at her appreciatively in it several times? No.

Although she’d be lying if she said she didn’t do it on purpose and that she didn’t enjoy the butterflies-in-her-stomach feeling that accompanied Mulder’s appreciative (but not creepy) gaze.

Eight: Scully got stood up last night. On her birthday.

She shouldn’t have planned a date on her birthday. She knows better. It’s just that she was supposed to go on a date with this guy named Peter and he said he was available on Wednesday, so she agreed, deciding not to tell him it was her birthday.

He’d chosen an Irish pub for their date, which was a little out of Scully’s first date (and overall) comfort zone, but she decided to give it a go anyway. Why the hell not. Except, of course, for the part where Peter never showed up and never called to explain why.

So Scully sat at the bar, alone, with a few pints of beer and something called Irish Nachos to keep her company. She decided that if she was going to be stood up, she may as well make the most of it with a plate of waffle fries covered in cheese.

Along with the fact that she was stood up last night, she’s also thinking about the fact that yet another Valentine’s day has passed without a man. Without a partner, a significant other, someone to buy her a cheesy card and a box of chocolate and maybe some flowers.

She hates that she wants these things.

Eight point one : Cheap beer and cigarettes.

The cheap Irish beer was good last night. It was appropriate for the situation. It wasn’t a glass of “I’m on a date” red wine. It was three or so pints of “I don’t give a fuck” beer.

And something about this cheap beer made her crave cigarettes for the first time in over a decade. She knows they’re terrible for her and she shouldn’t want them, but she’s been frustrated out of her goddamn mind and they just sounded good.

She used to sneak cigarettes as a teenager, simultaneously exhilarated that she was breaking the rules while being terrified that her father was going to find out. It was rebellious, and it was wrong. It’s still wrong, both because smoking is terrible for you and because Dana Katherine Scully is a rule follower.

But she’s tired of following the rules. Tired of worrying about what’s good for her or bad for her. She just wants to do something without considering the consequences.

Which leads her to buy that giant double chocolate muffin, that pack of cigarettes, and that lighter.

Nine: Scully wishes, more than she would ever admit, that Mulder would just ask her out already.

She sees the way he looks at her. She knows the way she looks at him.

She’s mad about this, too, though. It’s adhering to these typical gender roles and procedures of “guy asks girl out.”

It’s 1994, damn it. She could ask him out if she wanted to, you know? Just walk into the office and say “Mulder, would you like to go to dinner with me?” And he’d say yes, and that would be the end of that. The end of that frustration and tension and that “will they won’t they” dance they keep doing around each other.

Ten: Scully doesn’t say that last part.

Instead, she says this: “Fuck off, Mulder.”

Mulder blinks several times, very slowly, as if he can’t process the words that have just come out of his partner’s mouth.

“I…” he starts, but doesn’t know what to say. Because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Because all he’s really guilty of is being hot and brilliant and really fucking distracting . Because he has nothing and everything to do with the nine other reasons she’s exhausted and frustrated and smells faintly of cigarette smoke.

Scully thinks maybe she should apologize, except she wouldn’t know where to begin. She’d have to go through all ten point one steps of everything leading up to her telling Mulder to fuck off. So she doesn’t. She takes a bite of her muffin and says nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Mulder says. “I didn’t...I didn’t mean…” he trails off. He’s apologizing and doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for.

Scully sighs. “Yeah. Me too. It’s fine. Let’s get to work, okay?”

It’ll be a long, long while--years, in fact--before Mulder finally understands what all of this was about.

#xf fic #my fic #early seasons unrequited love #sportsnightnut

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