#scrolled through some old discord messages

[scoutdolphin]

Hmm,,,

[thechekhov]

Hello! I'm a big fan of your work. I wanted to ask for advice / thoughts about an art problem I've been struggling with that you seem to have at least some sort of solution for?

So basically I'm an animator and digital artist (hobbyist), and I'm constantly coming up with new ideas for things to make. Only problem is that most of these ideas would take up to or longer than 2 months to make because, yknow, animation isn't quick, especially if you want to take your time to make it good. But with so many ideas that all take so long to complete, I often find myself tied and frozen as I can't decide what's most worthwhile to start first. I passionately want to complete all these projects, but my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control, and I've just been stuck for several months. You juggle a lot of projects- not all of them art, but it still seems applicable here. This is excluding other life responsibilities like work and stuff, I don't have problems with getting that stuff done. This is purely within my creative hobby.

If u can't say anything thats fine I'm just curious- You have a massive output with great quality. Thank you!

This is a very kind message, and one that humbles me a lot, because although I'd love to bestow upon you some sort of advice that might help, or give words of wisdom..............I feel like that would be fake of me because

I also suffer from this very same thing

That is to say, this part of your message:

my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control

It rings true for me too! I think it might ring true for many others as well.

There are stories in my head all the time. There are stories, and concepts, and IDEAS and they are all so shiny and new in the beginning, and then they slowly peter out and, since I frequently don't have time to do anything about them, they fade into the background.

I have enough trouble with this in terms of COMICS (also a lengthy medium, though less so than animation, which, OOF, you have my condolences, you are stronger than I) that I have started to just come to terms with the fact that some things are not meant to be.

Which is, I think, one of the small bits of advice I can give.

1. Some things may just be ideas, and that's okay.

I think one of the best ways that I've learned to deal with Idea-Death is making it count towards something in the future. That is to say, using them as compost.

In order for this to work, you have to actively put your ideas into the compost pin instead of the trash. That means maybe investing in either a notebook, or a sketchbook, OR just a discord server for yourself where you organize ideas and dump them all into a channel to scroll back through later.

It may seem useless at first, but honestly, it can be satisfying to PUT them somewhere instead of letting them fade away.

Plus, you may one day scroll through them and rediscover an idea at just the right time. OR you may be inspired to take parts of an old idea and repurpose it for a new idea that you DO have motivation for.

However, there's also this part, right?

I've just been stuck for several months

I.......feel this. Sometimes I, too, feel stuck for several months. There are times when even if I WANT to work on something, I just don't have the time. It takes too long to finish!

.........which is why I recommend the following:

2. Don't finish. Just start.

Now, this is the toughie. I can't exactly say that it would work for everyone. But I have learned that I am WAY more likely to return to a project and work on it again sometime in the future if I actually DO something for it the first time I get inspired.

I have SO MANY things that I have not published in my folders. I have sketches of gifs that are 10 frames long. I have concept art sketches boldly labeled with project names that will likely never get off the ground. I have Googledoc files with summary and plot outlines for stories I'll probably never write. I have discord channels with random ass concepts and a few sketches for characters.

And what I have found is that if I just WORK on these ideas when I feel like it, they are more likely to survive, even if they don't thrive right away.

I'm also a huge proponent of Procrastination Rotation.

That is to say, I have so many projects I COULD be working on, that if I ever feel frustrated or stuck on one thing, I just shift myself slightly to the left and do another thing instead. I almost never force myself to work through a block (save for a few money-motivated deadlines) just to complete a thing.

Stuck on a comic? I'll go write a few lines of fic. Unsatisfied with where the fic is going?

I'll go sketch out an illustration. Incapable of finishing an illustration?

I'll go google some references for another comic project and slap them all into an image file for later, so that I have SOMETHING in place for when I want to do studies.

And so on and so forth.

I have comic ideas, and comic sketches, and 30+ pages of original comics sketched. I don't know if they'll make it. It would take a lot of work.

But it also takes very little work - just a few extra pages sketched while I'm bored for an hour. Or a bit of lineart while I listen to a podcast. Or just a doodle somewhere which I snap a pic of and add to my discord channel for that project.

Will it work for everyone? Probably not. But I think that our creative culture is sometimes too attached to a linear production style. The truth is that art, or illustrations, or animation, or comics - none of it has to be on an assembly line. It can be tinkered with and put aside. And then, maybe, picked apart for scraps.........or maybe made into something new!

I don't know if that helps you at all, but I hope it at least helps someone.

And good luck with your animating!

[stargloom]

hey. i dont like doing this. and i dont want to be a tumblr bitch who's wrote a callout before. but i cannot in good faith continue posting in the same community as this guy and allow him to pretend to not be genuinely a sicko. but @/bloomingduskk (who im sure will change urls after i post this is. a prosh.ipper radq.eer trans.d alongside a plethora of unfavorable unethical things. most of which being too personal to share, but enough left for me to be uncomfortable with my own silence. tw for like fucking everything lol

I never wanted to be in this position, or ever have to be the author of something like this. I am not a confrontational person or someone who enjoys drama, i’m entirely someone who goes out of his way not to get involved in such things, but due to my past public friendships with this person, and his tendencies of covering his tracks and lying about me and my friends, i feel as if it would be cowardly of me not to at least issue a warning about this user, and hope my message is conveyed well. If this was solely a personal gripe, I would not come out with a doc publically, I have no intentions of being petty, and am purposely leaving out a lot of petty issues and things that have been done to harm me personally. I only intend to talk about the actual dangers he promotes, and provide counterclaims to the narratives he tends to enjoy putting out. 

Before going further, i will be addressing him by his url, or nothing at all, as i will not be calling him by the japanese name he chooses to go by as a white person. It is against my morals. I hope that my decision doesn’t make this document more confusing than it needs to be. 

--- bloomingduskk uses Japanese names as a white person, and has done so for a while. He currently uses the name “maki” , and for the last half of 2023, went by Kaede, despite the fact that i firmly told him not to due to it being cultural appropriation multiple times, and each time he gave me an excuse, before continuing to do it. This is not a targeted attack against him, as he has said before in regard to being told not to use a japanese name, but something that i would condemn no matter who the person was. He identify(s)d as transracial. No matter the mental health issues you may have, the entire concept of “transitioning” into an ethnic minority is racist and entirely unacceptable. Here was his response to that.

And here is him self describing as transracial, and his pinned post on his old radqueer blog

^^ his discord at the time, which i and many others have personal dms with, matched exactly with his radq.ueer blogs. he cannot fucking say this isnt him i will go insane if he tries to deny this shit. He has spoken about me under the guise that I am stalking him, despite never having me blocked on anything but an old art account, and also the fact that I have gone out of my way, due to having severe morality ocd, not to scroll through or look at his content. All screenshots were provided to me secondhand, and not from my own devices, due to how severe this situation was for me, a person with ocd who he knew has ocd. At the time of these screenshots, i specifically requested my friends to block out his usernames so i didn't obsessively compulsively make myself feel sick scrolling through his blogs. (the screenshots in question here are not mine, i own a samsung galaxy, this ui does not match. I added my own annotations to the second image though.) VV his self identification as a proshipper + some stuff he had on his propara blogs (heavy tw)

^^ the first image here is in repsonse to an extremely long and thought out message my friend sent him during this period to this specific blog of his when it still existed.

his response to this was full of lies and empty promises and excuses, and plenty of vapid words he has taken back. i dont see a point in including what he had to say about this purely because he was lying through his teeth.

his twt account was probably the worst thing of his that was shown to me. i do not want to include screenshots of the things he would retweet as they were all sexually explicit imagery and posting of pedophilia, rape, beastiality, severe abuse, loli/shota content, and general dangerous and exploitative philias. i do not want to make that content more reachable to anyone than it already is . this account has been deleted. but i have been given screenshots of him posting his art there. along with the most tame thing i think he posted there. yeah

a lot of the harm he has done to my friends and i is extremely personal, far more personal than i feel comfortable airing out on a public blog that i've worked hard to distance a public personality from. so, i am not willing to spend time slowly outlining every single lie and harmful action he has done. that would make this post impossibly long, and i dont have the stomach to retrigger myself in this way. this has taken me two months to write, as i am deeply bothered by it and this entire event with him made me the sickest i'd been in a long while. do not fucking harass him. block him. im certain he's going to send himself anon asks pretending to be stargloom rabid fans or pretend to be my friends or whatever but all i want is for him to stay the fuck away from me and my friends and spaces where he pretends he isn't into vile shit. block him. dont interact. dont send him anything. just be careful of this cunt . i refuse to let him walk around as if he hasn't happily and enthusiastically promoted the most vile content one can enjoy.

im sure he's gonna scramble after this and probably start spewing revolting shit abt me which hes done at every single turn after me being upset. but he cannot pretend like nothing happened forever. thanks.

[swissboyhisch]

Cupid Cousin

A/N: I didn't reread this after I finished. Pretty sure it all good but it's late for me so I couldn't be bothered. But yay for this being my first imagine written in years!!!

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Reader

Summary: First game against his old team for your cousin. Luckily some of his ex teammates are cute.

Word Count: 1161

Warnings: None I think. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

You hadn’t seen Taylor in god knows how long. After his trade, it was a struggle being in Newark by yourself. You had moved for college and your cousin was more than happy to have you living closer. But now he had left, you were alone once more. It was only a matter of weeks between you settling into your apartment to the news of Taylor being traded to Boston.

Taylor has his first game against his old team and of course, he wanted you at the Prudential to watch. As much as you loved your cousin, you weren’t a fan of the Bruins. So instead, you dawned your Devils’ Hall jersey. A simple pair of jeans with a hoodie underneath was all you needed. You got there just as the doors opened, two hours before the game. Taylor being Taylor had gotten a glass ticket next to the Devils’ bench.

Boston skated out to do their warmups in front of where you sat. Taylor was quick to spot you, having memorised your seat number. It had been too long since you both had seen each other. He slammed on the glass in front of you. A laugh and wave was exchanged before he noticed one of his favourite ex-teammates skating over to greet him. Nico Hischier and Taylor were close during his time on the Devils. 

Taylor lit up at the sight of Nico skating closer. Both hugged and shared some words. Taylor pointed to you and said a couple words to Nico. The Swiss boy smiled and waved at you. You waved back to him, I mean he was cute, who could deny that. 

As you waited for the stars to be announced, you got a message from Taylor to find a worker in the club section and ask them to take you to the visitors locker room. You had no clue where you were going. The Prudential was a new place for you. The only reason you knew where the club section was because you had come through that to find your seat. 

“Uh, excuse me?” 

The worker turned to you and smiled. “How can I help you?”

“Um, Taylor Hall told me to find a worker to take me to the visitors' change rooms. That's literally all he told me.” You showed her the message then pulled out your ID. Luckily you two shared the last same last name. “I’m sorry, I know it’s weird. I just… It’s all he just told me.”

“Just give me a moment,” The woman apologised. 

You just nod, looking around the bar while she went off to do what she needed. Fans were hanging around having a drink before they went home. She came back with another younger woman who smiled. The new woman looked to be a part of Boston’s crew.

“I was told…”

“Not a problem love, Hall wanted me to take you down, that’s all.”

The walk down to the visitor’s locker wasn’t long, surprisingly. Despite how big the arena actually seemed. She left you standing outside of a locker room, awkwardly by yourself, alone in the corridor. Every now and then a worker would walk by but you stood there scrolling through your phone. 

“Waiting for Hallsy?” A voice spoke up, making you jump.

Coming towards you was Nico Hischier, dressed back in his game day suit. Looking mighty fine. You smile and nod. “Yeah, I think we’re going to dinner. All he said was to meet him down here.”

“Hallsy said we’re going to this diner we were regulars at. It has great burgers.” Nico then smiled bashfully, “I’m Nico by the way.”

You giggle at his words and reply with your name. “It’s nice to meet you. Taylor has told me about you.”

The pair of you chat quietly waiting for Taylor to come out. And surprisingly, he was one of the last of the team to exit. Players like Marchand and Bergeron walked by, giving the pair a point glare. Whether it was you or the fact Nico, star of the New Jersey Devils, was standing beside you.

“Taylor mentioned you are going to college out here,” Nico started.

“Yeah, studying media.” You pull up some of your work for the college’s sports team. “I put in my application here when Tay was still on the team. Got accepted and just after I moved, bam the team traded him.”

“That sucks.”

You shrugged, “Not a lot he could do. He had to be on the next flight to Arizona. Then traded to Boston not long after that.”

“Do you have many friends at school?” The brunette questioned.

“Kinda,” you replied. 

The door opening once more pulled the pair of you from your conversation. Charlie McAvoy was one of the few people you had met through your many calls with Taylor. You shared a smile and wave.

“Hallsy, your cousin is out here with Hischier,” McAvoy called back into the change room after he exited. 

Taylor was quick to exit after that. The three of you made your way to Nico’s car and to downtown Newark. You guys were quick to settle into a corner booth. Privacy for the boys mainly. You took the window seat with Taylor across from you. 

“In you go,” Taylor smirked at his old teammate, nodding at the seat beside you.

Nico slid into the booth beside you, taking the menu from your hand. “Thank you.”

The three of you ordered your meals and caught up with each other. You asked how Boston was, despite not liking the city. Nico talked about how the team was going and having a new roommate, the young Jack Hughes. Taylor asked you about your life, making sure you were okay being in the city by yourself. By the end of the night, Nico had offered to drive you back to your apartment. That was after dumping Taylor at his hotel with the team. 

“If you need anything, you can always just hit me up,” Nico offered as he pulled into the apartment car park. “I don’t do much other than train and do anything hockey. Would be nice to have a friend outside of hockey.”

“Sounds like a date then,” You smirk. 

You held out your phone, allowing him to insert his phone number. He made sure to text himself from his phone to make sure he had your number as well. He wasn’t going to fuck up this chance. Especially after the speech Hallsy had given him whilst you were in the toilet at the diner. He wasn’t going to risk anything.

“Thanks for the lift.”

“Anytime you need,” Nico responded.

You laugh, “Says the guy who travels a lot.”

“Not the greatest I know, but I’ll try my best.”

You blushed at his words. Instead of replying you leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Without saying another word, only giving him a smile, you exited the car.

A message came through later that night as you were laying in bed.

Hallsy: You're welcome ;)

TAG LIST

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @daisysthings @jayrami3

[yaderyngoch]

Alright so this entire situation is absolutely insane, but someone apparently accused me of being an anti for some reason, so I wanted to make a post with the full explanation of what's going on so that hopefully if anyone else sees this account, they know what's happening and I hopefully won't continue to get blacklisted from the Batman fandom for absolutely no reason.

Basically, I'm new to the Batman fandom as a whole, and a few months ago I decided to make a Twitter account that was specific to JayTim in hopes of meeting new friends who were also fans of the ship. The fandom friend group I'd been part of previously wasn't great for my mental health for a few reasons, so I was really really excited to join a fandom entirely disconnected from that group and hopefully make new friends. I know how antis can be, so I also made a new account disconnected from my main to protect my anonymity.

I forget where exactly I saw it, but I think it was in the replies of a tweet one of my mutuals replied to? I'm really not sure, but someone mentioned having a proship RP partner search blog on Tumblr. Immediately, I was ecstatic. I've been struggling finding people to rp with in general, and even moreso for JayTim, so I was really excited to meet new people and find new people to write with on this blog. It had been years since I'd been on Tumblr, but I made this account as a new sideblog specifically for the purpose of posting an ad to that account (I later learned you can't send in asks as a sideblog, but oh well)

I DMed the mod of the blog on Twitter to make sure my ad followed the rules and also let them know that my blog was new because it had been made new for the sake of posting an rp ad. I submitted the ad, they posted it on the blog, everything was great. While I waited for replies, I scrolled through old posts on that Tumblr account to see if anyone else was looking for a JayTim rp, and I found in the comments of one post the link to a Discord server specifically for BatFam rps. Immediately again, I was super excited. I'd been looking for a Discord server to become an active member of, and this seemed absolutely perfect, I was really incredibly excited about the idea of being part of a community. I know I'm beating the dead horse about how excited I was but I really want to emphasize that all of this was happening to someone who was utterly ecstatic about the idea of making new friends in a new fandom.

I joined that server, posted an rp ad there as well, and I got a message from the mod of that server about the ad suggesting we start a JayTim rp together. The conversation goes like any other with a potential new rp partner. Discussions of writing styles and preferences, I shared a sample from another JayTim rp I was doing at the time, things were looking great.

So then I decided to check Tumblr again to see if there were any updates about the post. To my surprise, I see that my post has been taken down, I have been blocked by the RP blog, and I have been blocked by the blog mod that I messaged on Twitter initially. There was no message about what I might've done wrong, no warning, nothing. No context, no conversation, just Blocked with no explanation. So of course I'm incredibly stressed out and confused because I have absolutely no idea what I did. It's been a while since I'd been on Tumblr so maybe there was an etiquette rule I broke? I know I'll block people who post a lot of a ship I don't like just because I don't want to see it on my TL, but my ad was specifically for JayTim in the first place and the mod approved it, and this wasn't a personal Tumblr this was a place to find RP partners.

While this is happening, the Discord mod is still chatting with me about ideas for our rp, and I apologized for seeming a little off suddenly and explained what happened and that I was really stressed and confused about it. The discord mod said they understood, and that it did seem odd. A few minutes later, they mentioned having to go to bed.

A while after that, I check Discord again to see that I've also been banned from that Discord server and blocked by that mod. Again, no explanation, no context, nothing. At this point I wanted to cry because I didn't understand what I was doing wrong or what was happening. I thought since I'd been talking to that mod about how confused I was about the initial situation, maybe they'd contact me to give me context, but no there was nothing. No way to contact anyone, no closure, just getting blacklisted from the new fandom I was so excited to join with no explanation.

At least a month went by. Finally I want to try and find more JayTim rp partners on Tumblr again so I look for a tag, and to my surprise I see that initial Tumblr rp partner search blog has unblocked me. So, I send them a message explaining what had happened and expressing my confusion. I'm just going to copy paste exactly what was said:

Me: Hi there, I'm admittedly a little confused. I posted an rp ad ages ago on this account, the mod proofread it on Twitter and I sent it in and it was posted. A few hours later, the post was taken down and I was blocked on this account, and the mod who I was in contact with also blocked me on Twitter. There was no explanation and I'm really not sure what I did or why I was blocked? But I was just looking for an rp and noticed I'm now unblocked on this account. The mod on Twitter still has me blocked and I'm still very confused. I'm not sure what I did wrong or why I was blocked in the first place, or why I'm no longer blocked now. Is there maybe a different mod in charge of this account?

Blog: Oh heck i guess it mustve gotten lost in the mix

(Maybe they didn't read my initial message? I thought maybe they were going to add more information, but no they just left the message at that for 2 hours)

Me: The ad? No it was posted. It was up for hours, and then I was blocked by this account and the mod's twitter account with no explanation or context to why

Blog: Ohh yeah no it was reported that you are an anti and this acct is not for you so we took your stuff down

I was then, again, blocked, and at this point I'm even more confused and baffled than before. I'm not, nor have I ever been, an anti. I have literally no idea why they might've thought I was one, and I couldn't ask because they blocked me. At this point this is driving me nuts and I've been stressed out and frustrated about this for months. No one is listening or talking to me, I'm just being ignored and I don't understand why, so at this point I'm not going to let it go.

I logged onto my old Tumblr account from years ago and messaged the blog again saying that I'm not an anti and don't understand what happened or why they think I was, I'm trying to be understanding and non-abrasive but I don't understand how this even happens and why the mods would handle a situation like this. I also went onto an alt and contacted the mod on Twitter. At this point Elon Musk has removed the ability to DM someone you are not mutuals with, so this entire Twitter conversation is happening in the public replies of one of her tweets. (The Tumblr account never responded to my message)

Me: Hi, I know this may be inappropriate to message you on an alt, but you didn't give me a chance to explain before you blocked me again. I'm not an anti. I don't understand why you think I am or who told you I was, or what I possibly did to indicate to you that I was an anti.

Mod (responding immediately. This mod has consistently been replying basically immediately): Hi i have been told you have been blackmailing people and telling them that youre going to post callouts about them writing incest and underage if they dont write these things with you and that you evaded server bans on discord for the same reasons

Me: Okay, I have never done any of those things, so could you please expand on who said I did these things and what evidence they provided of that claim?

(A day goes by, no answer)

Me: I'm not sure if you're busy, if so understandable, or just not responding to me, but I'd really like to talk to someone and try and figure this out because I don't understand what was happening. Did someone say it was my account? Or was there an assumption that I'm associated with another account that did these things? I'm sorry for being so persistent about this I just was really excited about joining this fandom and really don't want to get blacklisted from it for something I didn't do and no one is talking to me about it

Mod, Immediately : I messaged the person that reported you to see if they have anything to chime in about this maybe being a case of mistaken identity. please be patient.

Me: Okay, no worries. Thank you

Me: No rush to respond to this but I forgot to mention that if it would be helpful to provide my main account and ao3 and anything else, let me know, I would just prefer to do it in DMs

Mod: I'm waiting for the other person to get back to me right now i will let you know if i need anything further from you <3

(4 days go by, nothing. So they're not asking for my word on the situation, they're not looking at the active JayTim Twitter account I've been running for months, there's absolutely nothing I can do and no one seems willing to have a conversation with me about what happens, it's all just waiting on this mystery person to add context.)

Me: Hi there! It's been 4 days so I was just wondering if there were any updates on the situation?

Mod: I've gotten into contact with the person who reported you and they said they would look for the screenshots when they had a chance

(So, they didn't already have screenshots? From what I can tell, someone told them I was an anti, and the mods felt no need to actually verify that? And just blocked me and blacklisted me from everything, no questions asked, even though I have nothing to do with whatever I'm being accused of and no idea what's happening.

A week goes by. Nothing)

Me: Hi there, it's been a week, has that person managed to send you the screenshots yet?

The mod hasn't responded to that message, it's been two days. I'm trying to be patient and understanding but I'm so sick and tired of being ostracized, blocked, banned, and ignored for something I had nothing to do with. The information I've copy pasted in this message is all I've been told, I don't know anything else about whats going on or how this happened. I'm just so frustrated because I was so happy about the idea of joining a new fandom and making new friends, and now suddenly I'm seemingly blacklisted from the entire BatFam rp community for reasons no one is even actually telling me.

The most I can tell so far is just that someone said "hey that person is an anti" and despite having no evidence to back that up, the mods just decided to kick me out of everything and tell everyone I'm an anti?

I'm not sure that anyone is actually going to read this, both because I have one follower and also because this is a long post, I guess I partly just wanted to type it all out, and also just wanted to tell my side of the story because it stresses me out so much every time I think about it. And I was talking to that Discord mod about how stressed and confused I was when I got blocked the first time but still, no one thought to take a second look? No one thought to give any amount of context or even talk to me?

If anyone knows anyone who could help me with this situation, that would be greatly appreciated. Also if anyone knows a good place to find more JayTim fans or people to RP with, I could really use some new friends right about now. This is a side blog so I can't follow back or comment, but feel free to send me a DM or an ask!

Edit: there is an update to this post. It is.... a lot. Here's the link

[andalasia]

hellos. dusting off my old sideblog to throw up this request bc that feels like a good idea. i've responded to a couple other searches, so i'm realistically not looking to take on too many more. little bit about me, i'm a 29 man, live in the central timezone [ i think technically it's cdt bc it's currently july... but don't quote me on that ], used to consider myself a reader reader but me and the books have been beefing these past few months so that isn't occurring as frequently. maybe because i've been giving rp more attention. i've been rping since at least 2009, but most of that has was on forums like proboards/invisionfree/jcink. i have only recently really been a discord rp girlie

really only looking for m/m plots at this time. mayhaps one day i will go back to doing hetero ships, but for the time being that's not really something that interests me. i don't have a robust collection of muses that i pull out of rotation, that's just never been how i rp... if you see a guy on my main blog [ blakegallo ] the odds are that i would use them as a face. because i cut my teeth on forums i do typically only use actors, musicians, and the occasional model as faces; i typically steer clear of people who social media people. it's really just a matter of personal preference. i am willing to consider a fandom based rp, but would prefer something that is more oc x oc.

as far as preferences go i do write in the third person past tense. i don't really have any interest in breaking the discord message character limit for replies. i would never do a one liner, but a nice well developed paragraph or two is usually good enough for me. i like there to be something to respond to and get a nice back and forth going. i've seen a lot in my decade plus in the rp community and i've definitely done responses that are what the girlies call novella length now and that's just not something i'm super invested in returning to at this time. i don't have any interest in rping in dms, i think that things are just more organized in a private server. i also prefer for new threads to be individual channels just because i find that easier to scroll back through than one general channel, but that's me. i am a tupperbox girlie... and so i do have a slight preference for using them. it's not a requirement by any means, i have more 1x1s that don't use them currently than do, but just throwing that out there. i also find that doing something mumu is just easier for me with the tupperbot, but we can make it work if you aren't for it.

as a sidenote, i also do really love text threads. in my time perusing the the tags i'm not sure if this common because so many of the requests i see are for the novella level girlies. but sometimes i might have time for some quick banter between our characters. i also find that characters texting leads to where a next thread should go. as a vibes girlie i just like letting the characters sort things out sometimes than us as muns going back and forth figuring out where the plot should take them next.

plotting for me tends to be more organic. i really don't like to get too far ahead of ourselves. to me it's like writing a romance novel, we know these characters are eventually going to get together, but the journey to that destination can be whatever we make for it. so the ups and downs and angst along the way is what makes it fun. obviously i'm all for tossing ideas back and forth about how we think we should handle something or where we should go next, but i don't really have any interest in outlining the whole journey and then just hitting the beats.

so please be 21+, 25+ honestly would be even better and like this if you're interested. i might read the occasional high fantasy book, but that's not a thing i am all that interested in. i might be up for something vaguely paranormal, but i'm really more a regular person writer. give me the lives and the rich and famous or mess happening in suburbia... i'll reach out from my main blog in tumblr dms and we can go from there if we think it could be a good fit.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

i'm just gonna ramble in your asks abt my ideal website real quick

i consider myself to be an anti, and i personally would LOVE to just have a separate little forum website i could post on. i would love to never have to see shit i didn't sign up for in my little tags, i would love to post my little art pieces and talk to other people about my things and not have to check every single person who follows me or regularly interacts with my blog. i would love to never find loli porn on my "friend's" page and never be able to look at them the same. i would love to just. have a vetted, moderated, separate corner of the internet i could use instead of major social media platforms.

but that really doesn't exist anymore. i've tried to find forums or even discord servers (i really hate discord tbh, but to have a community like this? i'd cave) and there genuinely isn't anything. i've looked with such specific search terms that google made me complete a captcha because of suspicious activity from my PC. it doesn't exist. there is no curated space specifically for antis on the modern internet.

people say "oh, if you don't like XYZ just go somewhere else," but that isn't a real solution because that somewhere else isn't a real place. i WANT to go somewhere else. if i didn't have to in order to have any kind of a community at all, i would not be on tumblr.

i want old internet forum sites. i want the times when people just posted on different sites for different ships. i want to have to actively search out content i don't like instead of having to navigate around it. also? tumblr's tag-blocking system? sucks. i scroll through a tag for one of the characters i like who i happen to hc as ace, so i blocked all their ship tags. problem is this character gets shipped with anyone with a pulse. 99% of it is "this post contains filtered tags" instead of just.. hiding the post altogether. the other 1% is people who didn't tag their shit. it's borderline unusable sometimes. i just wanna see things i like and not see things i don't man is that too much to ask for

No that's completely fair.

There's some stuff I've seen on here that personally I get super icked over. And there's some stuff on here that I just straight up don't want to see. And it sucks that Tumblr would rather give you a message and the world's most enticing button instead of, yknow, take it away entirely. I endorse curating your own experience...I wish Tumblr made it easier to do that.

What you could do, though, is use a free builder like wix or whatever, create a forum. You can even run them for free on some hosts. It would likely be a slow, annoying process to build, but I do believe that if you have the willingness to create something, it will somehow end up there. Give it a stab, mayhaps. Set rules, invite likeminded folk. Attach it to a blog run on the same host, even, to post your own thoughts and creations on.

Create your safespace. You're almost always entitled to unless creating your space involves destroying others. And creating your own forum and blog is the best way to create that space while not stepping on anyone's toes.

[clonerightsagenda]

i would love to hear anything more about communications director minkowski that you would care to share, it sounds like a very fun route for postcanon! 👀

It IS very fun. In lieu of writing a coherent post I just spent quite a bit of time scrolling through 3 years of discord messages for good tidbits:

Gill spent part of my day wondering “you know you’d expect Lovelace to have some Loud And Pointed Opinions about Minkowski being offered the post of Communications Director but maybe instead she’d be the first to figure out there’s no better way to dismantle the company than from the inside out” Kat If you want a job done wrong you gotta do it yourself Gill Minkowski: They… want me to be the next director… and I think I’m going to take the job. Lovelace: …actually. That sounds like an amazing idea. Minkowski: Minkowski: who are you and what have you done with Captain Lovelace Kat Careful Renee. That joke has a bit of an edge to it Gill Nobody’s getting out of post-flight quarantine without an identity crisis of some kind it seems Kate I bet Lovelace would jump at the chance to have a woman on the inside… who has a lot of practice ruining Goddard's plans. Gill Lovelace, probably: You’re gonna need your own version of Cutter’s hypercompetent Right Hand Minion, and it seems to me that the person who kept him distracted while you put a harpoon through his torso would be the ideal candidate. Lovelace: Also, it’d be fun to deface Kepler’s old office.

*

Kat was thinking about Minkowski marriage drama in the context of her voluntarily signing on to be comms director under the same contract as the last one fully aware this means everyone will try to kill her just in case she can keep everyone else safe and then having to explain that to her husband tfw your wife never prioritizes you bc she's too busy prioritizing a) dying in space b) dying on land now Gill Dominik Koudelka, maybe: it just feels like I have to get myself kidnapped by shadowy corporate goons if I want to spend time with you!

*

Kate Communications Director Minkowski 1) definitely publishes her own adapted fifth edition of the Survival Manual that’s not a joke and full of useful things and 2) mostly inspired by things Eiffel did that his justification was “well no one ever TOLD me this would happen in space!” Gill “Leprechauns are not real. Ghosts, however, are.” “In the unlikely but theoretically possible event that leprechauns are discovered at some point in the near future, disregard previous. It’s important to keep an open mind.” Kate Adaptability! Flexibility! Priorities! Acknowledgement that space is full of unpredictable and incomprehensible bullshit! The spirit of the new space age Gill Tip #1002: You may say “fuck”. Once.

*

Kat thought: re Goddard possibly having prison labor going on, maybe when they got Eiffel out of jail they just transferred his sentence to them, and Comms Director Minkowski finds out she technically owns two of her crewmates now and isn't super happy about it Eiffel: so for the next 23 years my ass is yours I guess Minkowski: I don't want it Minkowski, sifting through paperwork: why… why do I own prison laborers now? Can I pardon them? What is this news anchor voice: Goddard Futuristics stocks dipped today as new director Renee Minkowski gave the entirety of their asteroid mining staff early release, quoted as saying "Go home. The fuck." Gill Comms Director Minkowski like ok first off we’re actually giving our workers benefits Kat we'll reroute some of the money headed toward all the R&D for evil shit Gill we’re also defunding our paramilitary branches. Why do we even have those?? Kat Jacobi, raising hand: To do stuff like break into Elon Musk's Mars colony and take him out with extreme prejudice Lovelace: ok that one sounds justified actually Gill Lovelace: Can I go fuck up Elon Musk’s stupid libertarian summer camp? Minkowski: Later, I need you here right now. Lovelace: Aw, ok. ): Kate Okay project Fuck Up Elon Musk can stay

*

Kat underappreciated aspect of the comms director Minkowski concept: DC girl Minkowski finds out she now owns like 75% of the politicians on Capitol Hill. Is not sure how to stop owning them It's like feeding wild animals, they keep coming back for your money even when you try to cut off the lobbying Gill Minkowski: next time a senator shows up at my house I’m siccing Lovelace on them Kat Minkowski: Cutter had an entire budget line for funding ballot initiatives and…. wow, that's a lot. Hey Doug, what are your thoughts on felons being able to vote? Eiffel: Felons can't vote? Minkowski: …. yes?? Eiffel: Oh. Huh. I don't ever vote so I didn't notice. And I see from your expression that you don't approve of this.

*

Gill Comms Director!Minkowski: If you need me, I’ll be in a meeting. /crawls into the vents Kat Local unions still talk about the super weird HVAC remodeling the new director insisted on

*

Gill You are an astronautical engineer at Goddard Futuristics’ special projects division. You were handpicked by the special projects manager herself to work on this new prototype. The craft you and your colleagues poured untold hours of work into is commandeered by Warren Kepler, Legendary Local Douchebag, and two of his minions (an entire ship! For three people!!) to go off and babysit one of your boss’s boss’s ultra-secret pet projects, which you quietly believe is actually an elaborate fraud scheme of some kind. You rage at this. Then, you mourn. Perhaps you drink heavily. Either way, you move on, setting aside your quiet hope that the Urania one day re-enters terrestrial skies, but gradually making peace with the idea you may never see this particular fruit of your labor again. And then a year and a half later you get it back and the interior is just plastered in printer paper that looks like a brigade of toddlers just went nuts on it with their crayons. And also your boss is dead and the apparent leader of said toddlers is the new communications director. Kat Hey at least the astronautical engineering division can feel vindicated that that shuttle a few years back didn't malfunction Gill Engineer: So that shuttle didn’t malfunction and Cutter was actively orchestrating a fake explosion and cover-up. Then he sent Warren “Oh just let me fire off this prototype in a civilian area” Kepler and his goon squad up in our prototype to go fuck around with you guys some more. Minkowski: Yup. Engineer: And you killed him. Minkowski: …yes. Engineer: …did you kill him painfully? Tell me it was painfully. (Minkowski is mildly worried about how she acquires some of her new supporters) Kat Lots of long simmering resentment Kate I imagine she gets a lot of goodwill points for taking out Cutter and Kepler… imagine

*

Kat comms director Minkowski having to do tax fraud to protect her team somehow Gill Jacobi, having just another day in the office, doing taxes: god this is so dull, I hate tax season. I wonder if Minkowski’s gone and holed up in the accounting department, she probably lives for this kind of thing. /smash cut to Minkowski threatening an IRS agent at harpoon-point Kat Minkowski making Hera her own LLC so she has rights now: This is legal according to Citizens United as long as no one looks at it too closely (my dad became an LLC today so he can contract with his work after he retires. I joked he will be the last person able to vote in the household once they take everyone else's rights away but corporations are people) Gill “Minkowski Commits Tax Fraud” would be an amazing chapter title for a fic at some point though Kat Minkowski early in the mission diligently doing her taxes in space because she's a good American citizen Minkowski like 5 years later: fuck capitalism Gill That one meme image but it’s, Minkowski: You mean the game was rigged all along? Minkowski @ herself: always has been. Kate This is my strongest Minkowski belief Gill Minkowski: wow, capitalism sucks, and growing up in a Soviet satellite state was also awful. Perhaps… the true problem… is giving people the power to wholly dictate other people’s lives…

*

Kat after the story of the Hephaestus crew breaks and they're famous Eiffel gets Minkowski a funko pop of herself it has a little harpoon Kinsey i support this wholeheartedly Gill It is both unsettling and adorable. She sets it proudly on her desk at work Kat someone coming into Comms Director Minkowski's office: uhhhhh Minkowski sitting next to her funko pop: what it's got the same psychic damage potential as Cutter having a #1 dad mug on his desk and everyone's too scared to ask about it Gill Concept: Minkowski eventually being gifted the Funko Pop versions of her entire crew They’re referred to affectionately(?) as her minions Kate If you’ve been called to her office because you’ve done something Sketchy and Capitalistic, you might even prefer looking into the creepy flat soulless eyes of the funko pop rather than Minkowski’s very, very sharp and angry human ones Gill Another mental image. Lovelace, beholding her funko pop: I mean, I don’t think my eyes are that terrifying even when I’m possessed by unknown cosmic entities, but other than that, it’s a perfect likeness. Lovelace: Look, she even has her arms folded because she’s mad at the other little plastic crewmates for being idiots. I love her.

[psycho-lizard9]

Hello

I wanted to make a little introduction post as my first post here since I know that there was quite a bit of a bot issue in the past, and possibly still is to this day, so I do want to say that I am not a bot XD

I will soon add photos to my profile, but I wanted to do this post first.

I used to be here before, I had several blogs but the most known one was probably my J-Rock blog posting mostly BUCK-TICK and Der Zibet. That old account was nyacchan-3. I also used to have a dream diary on here for those who remember. Some of you might also know me from AO3 as Nyacchan, but I have changed my name there to Nameless_Me. I might change this name again in the future and I might also change my Tumblr name cause I couldn’t really come up with anything so I picked a song title and added my fave number to it. For this new account I will be posting J-Rock again, but maybe also some random things now and then, like reblogging things I come across and like.

Also, since I left social media I left my Discord name on my AO3 profile, yet I forgot about that after a while. I recently got 3 friend invites on Discord from strangers, and since I had forgotten my name was out there I assumed they were bots and denied the requests. If it was you, I am sorry and feel free to now message me here instead.

As I said earlier, I deleted all my social media earlier this year as the constant fandom wars really got on my nerves. The Internet is not a fun place when all you see is people constantly bitching at each other. I wasn’t planning to come back until at least September 2025, but since Issay’s recent passing I have decided to come back early as the memories of him are most easily found on social media. I want to just scroll through places, come across random photos, gifs and videos of him and enjoy the amazing work he has left us with, to remember the amazing person he used to be.

I know I have been complaining a lot about fandoms and fans in the past but I want to let that go now. I left social media to calm down and to… try to become a better person. I don’t want to have anything to do with any drama, I am just here to have a good time and to share the love for my favorite artists.

Feel free to talk to me tho, especially if your interests are the following artists:

BUCK-TICK

Der Zibet

DEAD END

Creature Creature

The Yellow Monkey

Vaniru

Sakurai Atsushi’s solo/side works

ISSAY’s solo/side works

MORRIE’s solo work

and/or Kazuya Yoshii’s solo works

Also feel free to contact me if you play any of the following games and would want to play online cause I don’t like randoms in online games XD:

Payday the Heist

Payday 2

(Also Payday 3 when it comes out cause I know I will be binging that)

Phasmophobia

Demonologist

Ghost Exile

Attack on Titan

Attack on Titan 2

Anyway, since I don’t want to immediately become inactive with posting, I will be posting faves lists from albums. Per album from my favorite artists I will be doing a top 5, top 3, fave song and least fave song. I plan to post these opinions of 1 album per day starting with Der Zibet, as I have been listening to Issay’s work almost non stop since he passed away. Listening to his voice isn’t as easy as it used to be, but I just want to enjoy his amazing voice and remember how much I loved him and always will love him. I don’t want to avoid his work.

Well, I’ll be right back with my opinions. It’s nice to be back and I hope we can all behave and get along now. I guarantee I won’t be causing any trouble :)

Extra: Feel free to message me here if you have any band related questions (of bands mentioned above)

[game-saved]

DND Campaign: L.A. Numinous

The Pantheons of the World are not as fantastical or mythical as you might think. They are around us, always hiding in plain sight. They hide from the Mortal Realm, having forgone most of their earthly attachments after the Great War, the World War, the Last War that they would put themselves through.

They hid their World, their mythologies, their fantasies from the Mortal Realm, between the cracks of what can and can't be seen. There in the unperceived, the lives of fantastical creatures, of ogres and fairies, of kitsune and deities, they continue to survive.

It's 2028, just 6 months before the Summer Olympic Games starts anew in the City of Angels, Los Angeles. You scroll through your X feed, look at the current trending topics: Articles about Whales and Dolphins taking over the sea; The Olympic Flame being ignited in Greece; And the death of an Instagram Model with no leads. It's almost banal and boring as you flick through tweets.

Perhaps, just at the corner of your eye, you see a little miracle, a trick of the light or a creep of a shadow. But something/someone tumbles over you, a friend, a loved one, a mentor you've known for some months, weeks, or maybe only a few days. They're blood soaked and their eyes are pleading, worrying, and saddened, as they look at you, clutching at wounds that only look seconds old.

"Aphrodite is dead. This was not how I meant for this to happen but I'm sorry but I must pass my Eidolon to you before it's too late."

Light flashes before you could even ask. You find yourself engulfed with it, bathed in it and then... nothing.

Now there's a dead body in your hands and an ominous feeling in your chest. Your phone beeps and rings to life with a spoken message. You're pretty sure it didn't have that feature before.

"[Player Name] , you are summoned before the Divine Council to be condemned for the Assassination of a Deity and Usurping their Status. Cooperation would be most advised."

ART CREDIT: Tony Sart, Javier Charro

Hi, hello, Name's Kiri or Hex or Vai! I hardly ever post on Tumblr anymore or advertise any campaign ideas here due to school but this one has been nagging me just a little bit more after listening to Stray Gods, watching American Gods, and rewatching the Percy Jackson films, so I needed to just write down the blurb and the pitch in case anyone is wanting to play some DND in a Divine Urban Fantasy kind of setting.

INFO

The game is set in contemporary Los Angeles, a few years into the future, a few months before the Summer Olympic Games. You have been accused for the assassination of a Deity and usurping their power and status, their Eidolon. Through the Eidolon, you gain power and are now able to perceive Los Angeles in its truest form, a City of Mythical Creatures living in secrecy.

During Character Creation, you will choose a Deity from any Pantheon (Japanese, Chinese, Greek, Egyptian, Norse etc) whose Eidolon has been passed down to you.

This is going to be a Human-centric campaign so, despite the advertisement of other races in the game world, physically your character will be Human. Through the power of the Eidolon, they can be reskinned with the capabilities of other DND races.

Gameplay will be roleplay heavy, debating on either PBP semi-live text or just Discord VC with a separate channel for Texting RP. But there will also be combat involved of course.

The DM, me, hi, has a flexible schedule but I am in PST so applicants who are close to that would be preferred.

Current Allowed Resources are PHB, Xanathar's, Tasha's, and Mythic Theros

Depending on interest, around 4-8 rotating players can be taken.

If interested, DM me or like this post for more details so I can get back to you.

[tangerineisms]

Something Ive thought abt before but couldnt articulate is that many of the Palestinians reaching out here and on other platforms either dont know any English and are copy/pasting and modifying messages and/or learning just enough that of the language to ask for help. It burns me alive.

I do most of my advocacy for a woman in the West Bank, Simsim. She a Canadian citizen (born in Canada, moved to Palestine) and she speaks English. When we talk (mostly through discord) its in English, not Arabic. You can donate to Simsim here!

Im on tiktok a lot, thats where I post about Simsim most and I see a number of videos where small children are recorded in short bursts to be posted online asking for help in English. “Stop. Dont scroll. listen to. my family.” “Please. help us. get. out. of this.” Six, seven, eight year olds learning just enough of a foreign language to beg.

On here Ive seen some people send asks for people that have mistakenly included the instructions for the message. Written out like “[greeting] Hello dear” “Thank you for listening [end message]”

I think. Im not sure how to phrase it. but that they have to speak on our level, jump through an extra hoop for a shot at life, feels cruel. Ive been learning Japanese for a few years, I would pull out my own tongue before getting on camera speaking Japanese, especially to appeal to native speakers. But the Palestinians are denied the luxury of embarrassment.

If this doesnt make a lick of sense sorry Im dehydrated.

[pridepoisoned]

(ooc. Good morning!! If you're reading this, I've officially turned 29!! Happy birthday to me. 🥳

Today is extra meaningful for me because it also marks my 10th year RPing on this site! Recently, I've been taking the time to look back at my old blogs, threads and posts, and it's been a very bittersweet, reflective experience. So much has changed [both on and offline] since I timidly applied to my first closed group in 2013, and again when I took a chance and jumped blindly into the indie scene in early 2020. So many inactive/deactivated blogs and sadly unfinished threads, but--at the same time--so many great writing memories to revisit, and it's always awesome to see returning friends/muses!

This is going to sound weird coming from this blog specifically, but if I've written with or for you, or even if we have yet to interact but you've read my writing while scrolling through the dash, I hope you've enjoyed it! I know I tend to move at a slower pace and write a lot (like this lol), and I also really apologize for being so hard to reach via IM or DIscord at times--sometimes I just burn out because of my schedule, and I'll admit that I'm still trying to get over some lingering nervousness caused by a particularly toxic ooc interaction years ago...but I truly appreciate every message, have enjoyed every convo, and I feel like I'm slowly coming out of my shell again and finding balance. Thanks so much as always to the thread partners and others who have shown interest in my muses--if you're reading this, know that I am always down to interact or spin a story together on any of them! Let's do it!

It's Year 29/10, and I can't promise more activity here--life is changing too fast--but I can say that I'll continue to stay true in writing my unapologetically good and evil muses, while being as supportive/positive as I can OOC. Good vibes, and let's keep growing together--I can't wait to see what fresh adventures are around the corner ✌️)

[legendfinder]

have u seen the new jacob geller video? seems like itd b up your alley. id be curious to hear your thoughts on the philosophy of archival he talks about

Oh it was DEFINITELY up my alley, as an (at the very least) above-average obsessed fan of archiving my life's work to the best of my abilities. Geller brings up a really good point I've had to wrestle with, myself: What's the extent to which I can, well, archive?

Lately I've had to omit archiving multiple versions of my art because there's just... so many. Often I found myself erasing old versions just to put new ones in, only occasionally regretting it months or years later. There's some physical doodles I just haven't been able to archive, some that are probably lost forever. Sometimes I go about my day and check Discord only to find something missing I can't quite put my finger on; another server, deleted. How much do I archive of myself? Every word? Every pen stroke? Every conversation? Every thought, every dream, every morsel of food, every footstep, every blink, every fucking breath I've ever taken? Where does it stop?

The answer is it doesn't stop. At least, if you want a full archive of yourself. Different people have focused on different things, yeah. Some make dream journals, others make food diaries, others digitize their notebooks, others have github repositories or the like. But by god, is it hopeless to do everything.

I've tried to back those servers up, but, well... They get updated every day. I can't make backups of every server, every day. Archiving takes time, immense amounts of time, out of my day. Lately, I've been going to class lectures only to spend the time archiving my mind-boggling collection of notebook doodles from high school, for a purpose that isn't really that important right now. I'm not saying it's a universal experience, but to me, the process and goal of archiving puts me violently in the past and violently in the future, and rarely in the present.

I find myself just scrolling through my Everything Drive aimlessly, taking in the same colors I've already looked at for years, and it just feels like... I'm getting nothing new done. And then I continue building up this Everything Drive, for some unforeseeable unattainable "ideal" state that will never happen. I look back and I look forward constantly and sometimes I forget I can just step back and take in the moment as it is, without having to save an audio log of it, without having to record a video of it, without having to be constantly in fear of the decay of my memories. (Note that I have nothing against recording videos of things. I mean, I do that. A lot. That's why I bring it up. It just gets a bit too much after a while. I have 2000 videos and 2000 audio recordings on my phone. I barely ever check them.)

Callie, you probably have a few art pieces that might not be accessible anymore, because you might have put them in a discord server and just... Never kept a copy on your computer. Even for the art you made that is still accessible... How will you even go through the effort of collecting and archiving them, now? I got lucky to start my Everything Drive project relatively "early", in 2020, because Unus Annus scared lil ol me. Even then, I had a lot of work before me. I can't imagine starting that same project now, 3 years later.

On a slightly related note, sometimes a friend's hard drive just gets wiped. Sometimes someone's art hosting site gets taken down. Sometimes there's even something as mundane as someone quickly deleting their discord message as a joke. Things get deleted all the time, outside of my control.

I try to archive as much of myself as possible, but that's basically where I stop. Just myself. I can't archive everyone else to the extent I do for myself. I just hope they get to archive at least a small piece of themselves, their own way.

Back to Geller's video, though. I wanna say, The Internet Archive isn't fully a forever archive. People can try, yeah, and with enough people, something could very well last forever. But with individual items, it's a different story. I used to be very into the Archie Sonic comics, all for one specific character (if you want to know, it's Shard the Metal Sonic). Internet Archive, at that time, had a collection of pretty much every archie sonic comic, neatly organized and easily accessible straight from the website. It was a beautiful thing. Months later, trying to find a panel of a comic to take a screenshot of, I realized the collection had been taken down for copyright reasons. Sure, there's other collections of Archie Sonic comics, but those often fail to capture... Everything. Even the one I was looking at probably failed to capture everything. Some only have the early era of the comics, some only have the comics from Ian Flynn onwards. Some omit the spinoffs, others omit the end pages of the comics with fan mail and whatnot. One collection appears to be the most substantial, but seems to have forgotten a few pages in a few issues. It's just... Impossible, really. To get everything, and make it out in one piece.

I can't capture my paper doodles as accurately as they appear; in the Everything Drive, you zoom in enough, and you see pixels. There aren't pixels in real life. If I were to preserve every page of my high school notebooks, the scale of the collection would become gargantuan and completely inaccessible; just like Borges' map. I don't currently have the resources to download every video I've ever put on youtube or every stream I've done on twitch, and keep them on some external hard drives. I certainly don't have the space or even the time to preserve everything I love, everything I wish could stay just a little bit longer on this Earth. We all have our times to go, and all we can do is move just a few centimeters higher on this sinking ship.

So here I am, carving out my own corner, displaying only a select few categories of what I wish to preserve about myself. And in this corner, I'm happy.

Sorry if this rant is unhinged. I'm not deleting any of it. Guess I'm staying true to this topic, lmao.

I want to end by saying that if anyone wants to scroll through my Everything Drive (a google drive collection of as many digital + physical things ive made as im able to find and archive), I can send you a link! Just dm me if you wanna. Haven't fully finished organizing some recent art projects and a vast majority of my notebook doodles, but there's still already a fuck ton of shit in there.

Also my music streaming platform of choice is VLC Media Player

[touchastar]

we haven't talked in a very long while, but we used to be close. saw this blog linked on an old profile and found myself scrolling through, and honestly i wasn't having that good a night but reading some of the advice posts you've rbed really helped get me out of my own head. things sucked for you back when we were friends, i hope they're somewhat better now.

hey anon. sorry if im not entirely coherent atm it is midnight and i spent…….. too long playing the binding of isaac.

firstly i want to say this was very sweet of you to send. it does mean something to me :) makes me happy to hear that something ive reblogged has resonated with someone as well as the surprise of getting a message like this . honestly partially the goal of this blog. just! something nice for people.

secondly

i guess things are somewhat okay. i havent moved out yet, but things are looking up. i started school. actually im going to finish my first quarter in about a week. i made irl friends and we're going to play dnd together soon. i got hearing aids! finally lol and im medicated for adhd so i can actually do stuff now. met my boyfriend for the first time and im going to meet him again in august. and lots of other small things as well. id go on but... ! again, they're just small things. but good things.

its interesting actually. these last three weeks, there's been a lot of kindness from people directed at me, moreso than usual. you dont know it, but you've been a very wonderful part of a pattern :)

lastly.. you. um. yeah. hi! i think i may know who this is. .. i want to apologize for leaving so abruptly. id give a lengthier explanation and apology but i could be wrong about your identity. if you're at all interested in reconnection my new discord is nightvale#1313. if not, that's completely fine. either way.. im rooting for you :) i think about you from time to time like i do with all of my old friends.

take care okay? good night :)

[rokupo]

My tumblr is officially a tween. I didn't notice.

Thanks for being here tumblr, I guess. You've been with me through multiple hyperfixations that got me through... a lot.

You've been through a lot, haven't you?

Dashcon — you were never really the same after that, the great purge—remember when you still had porn and stuff? Haha.

Yeah.

Oh, and when you didn't have ads. That was great. You have a fancy premium thing going on now, good for you.

Remember how one really used tags during my time? We just threw everything out there. There wasn't any filter so if you didn't like it, just grimace and scroll fast.

People will always fight in fandoms, it seems, but there are nice ones, too.

We've made some friends, haven't me?

Some of their messages are still in my inbox, you see. I could never delete any of them.

I could never let go.

Some of them haven't posted anything for years.

Do you think they remember me, tumblr?

Sometimes I wonder if the silent accounts are abandoned or if the owner passed away.

Remember Gyu? I always remember Gyu. She was nice to me. Gyu was a sweet girl, and... left us so young.

I remember everyone. It was a messy time before Discord

Sarah, Andy, Miki, Catcher, Naomi, Aatk, Furiyan, foreverdelighted...

Do you think they remember me?

Nah.

Probably my old username. I can't even remember the very first one. Must be something stupid.

Memories are funny, aren't they?

Sometimes they make you smile, sometimes they make you cry... sometimes it's a bit of both.

No, no... I'm okay. I'm just... remembering. It happens sometimes.

The ache.

But all has passed and they've moved on.

In a way, I have too. I hope they're okay.

[casspurrjoybell-26]

Too Old For This - Chapter 9 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*   

When Leroy got the text, he simply hummed to himself and put his cell-phone away before turning in his bed and going to bed.

The text was nice but Leroy had been planning to head over to Zachary's place regardless... he'd been planning to since the middle of the week.

He'd just asked out of the blue because heading over and hanging out on the lawn wasn't the same as visitation rights to go inside the house.

He hadn't been inside Zachary's place since the last time he was invited in, even though sometimes he would stroll out into the porch so that they could talk or at least exchange looks as Leroy pet whatever cat that had made it a mission to ingest grass that day.

The night went by and Leroy woke up a little past nine in the morning the following day to the sound of his sister laughing her ass off from the living room.

He sat up, frowning a bit before pushing the hair away from his eyes and forehead.

He got up, put on his inside slides and grabbed his phone before making his way to the living room to see what in the world was going on.

On his way, he scrolled through text messages, PlayStation alerts and a few tags he'd gotten on discord.

His pathfinder group wanted to video chat tomorrow for a game and he noticed a text Zachary had sent early in the morning buried under the hip of notifications.

The older man had asked him what he wanted to do when he came over and what time he saw himself getting there.

Leroy tilted his head a bit, quickly drafting a text that stated he'd be there at around twelve in the afternoon and they could watch a movie, before tucking his phone into the pocket of his pajama pants.

When he strolled into the living room, he noticed his sister was sprawled on the couch with her phone pressed against her ear.

She had the widest grin on her face... it almost looked painful.

The television wasn't on like Leroy had been expecting.

The noise was coming solely from his sister and just as he wandered off to the empty one-seater to take a seat, his sister let out another string of giggles that made him roll his eyes.

Gosh, she had the ugliest laugh but whoever was on the other end didn't seem to mind.

In fact, they seemed to be actively encouraging it.  

"It can't be that funny," he mumbled and his sister looked up, sticking a tongue at him before going back to giggling at whatever the person on the other end was telling her.  

Leroy sat there and scrolled through his phone, occasionally looking at his sister who was all smiles and grins.  

'A new boyfriend?' he wondered, raising a brow at her.

'Well good for her,' he told himself, getting off the couch when he realized he desperately needed something to munch on.

His mother wasn't awake yet, which was a relief.

Leroy could confidently avoid her most of the time except when she woke up for breakfast or dinner.  

He didn't want to see her today... he didn't want to ruin his mood before he went off to meet Zachary.

It wouldn't be fair to the older man.

He knew how stressed out and irritable he was after a crappy interaction with his mother.

He spent the next few hours looking forward to seeing Zachary and when it was eleven-forty, he made his way out of the house and began his walk to the older man's place.  

When Leroy walked up to the familiar house with the signature tall grass.

He hopped over the fence, walking up to the porch stairs before looking around for DeDe, the black cat that was often squished somewhere under the stairs, when he didn't find her after a few minutes he walked up the stairs and over to the door before knocking.

Usually, Zachary would open the door after the first few knocks but this time that didn't happen.

Leroy knocked a few times and then again and some more when he still didn't get a response.

He frowned, starting to wonder if he maybe misread the date in the text.

It had definitely been Saturday.

Was Zachary out?

No, he was sure he'd mentioned he was coming over at twelve in the afternoon.

So, he knocked again and this time someone groaned from the other end.

The sound of footsteps became loud and then dull and then loud again.

He heard the sound of cutlery and soon after the knob on the door twisted.  

Leroy stepped back and the door opened to reveal someone who was definitely not Zachary.

"Well, are you coming in?" the lady who'd opened the door said, as he looked him up and down.

"Zack's in his room. I'm cleaning up before I head out."

It took a while for Leroy to compute that this was Zachary's sister.

They didn't look anything alike.

It seemed odd to say but that was the case.

Well, for instance, she was dark skinned and Zac was not.

Or maybe he was?

What the fuck did Leroy's ass know?  

"Oh, thank you," he mumbled when he snapped out of his mini-shock.

He walked into the house, tucking his hands into his pockets before looking around.

"You know where his bedroom is, right?" the woman asked, making Leroy look over at her again.

She was at the kitchen counter now, going through food prep bowls.  He nodded.

"Yeah, I've been here before," he said more to himself before wandering into the hallway.

He spotted a cat or two that quickly scurried away as he approached Zachary's bedroom door.

He stopped in front of it, knocking before waiting in silence.  

"Leroy?"  Leroy could hear Zachary say from the other end.

"Yeah, it's me," the younger man said, turning the knob of the door before walking in.