#screwllum x svarog | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

caelesblues · 1 year ago

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sugar, spice, and everything not so nice

⋆｡°✩or the things that make them hold back from loving you⋆｡°✩

c.w./t.w. angst, insecurities, some characters show up on multiple parts, somewhat vague allusions to age gap but reader is an adult, lowercase intended, sfw

word count: 1,477

characters: various characters from genshin and hsr

gn!reader, inspired by "sour grapes" by le sserafim, notes at the end

effervescent, ethereal, out of this world, a god amongst men-these are just some of the ways they’ve come to describe you. in their eyes you are nothing short of magnificent, leaving them in awe with every aspect of who you are. from your smile to your little quirks, for them there is nothing about you that they cannot point out with love and admiration. you don’t really even have to do anything to put them under your spell (well according to them anyways), simply entering the same room as them will have their attention turning to you, eyes filled with softness and affection, their longing for you can be felt even from across the room.,

but that’s how it’s just always going to be, isn’t it? no matter how much they wax poetry about loving you, they can never truly get themselves to confess. because at the end of the day they don’t feel worthy enough of you, of your love, affection, admiration, and everything in between. they believe they’re lacking too much to be with you, that they can never be someone that you can be proud of to be seen and associated with.

there is so much about them that you’ll probably never like anyways so what’s the point of pursuing you (even though deep down they would want nothing more than to just build a life with you). so that’s how it’s always going to be, with them just loving and longing for you from afar, never making their affections for you known because they believe you’re too good for them and that they’ll never be good enough for you.

kaveh, diluc, kaeya, ganyu, kokomi, thoma, xiao, gorou, gepard

cold, unfeeling, just always out of reach-those are just some of the words used to describe them. they can’t really blame others for ascribing them as such, there is an inkling of truth to what people say about them, plus they are self-aware enough to know how they come off to others. even at first glance others are already wary of approaching them, just one look their way and they’d know that they’d rather be left alone (or if they really must interact with others, they rather that those be short, sweet, and direct to the point).

and while they do not really care for what others have to say about them (they’re secure in themselves enough to not let those affect them), it’s their awareness of how distant they can come across that hinders them from pursuing anything more serious with you. while there is a deep desire in them to be with you, they know themselves too much to let you face the sheer loneliness that comes with loving someone like them, someone who at times would just rather be by themselves, someone that may ice you over with their sheer bluntness, and someone who inevitably may leave you feeling like you’re the only one in the relationship.

in this way they believe that by maintaining some distance from one another, they’d never have the chance to even hurt you in the first place.

wanderer, al haitham, shenhe, eula, rosaria, kujou sara, dan heng, seele, blade

do this and that, be here and there, this and that person needs your help, never having enough time in the day to do everything, barely having a moment for reprieve. that is their daily routine, one that they cannot so easily shake off no matter what. always jumping from one task to another, and even then their workload does not lighten up by any means. work takes up so much of their life that a time for relaxation has to be forced upon them by someone, lest they end up exhausting themselves too much.

if it’s not work then they’re also worrying themselves about other things, be it their personal endeavors, friends, family, their community-they just have too much on their plate right now, really. with all of the things they have going on in their life, it’s already difficult to find time for themselves…and they believe they’d also have a hard time making space for you in their already busy life.

it’s not that they can’t see themselves being with you, it’s more that they know how they can be and you will ultimately be left on the back burner. they’d rather not deal you that kind of hand, knowing that you deserve someone so much better, one that won’t feel like a phantom due to how much work they need to go through constantly. so while a part of them would want nothing more than to love you, their dedication to their work and field of expertise would have to come first.

jean, keqing, tighnari, ayato, baizhu, candace, childe, kuki shinobu, yanfei, lumine, aether, yelan, alebedo, stelle, caelus, pela, bronya, gepard, natasha, kafka, tingyun

not enough time is what they reason. not enough time to fully enjoy life with you, not enough time to do all the things you’d both plan together, not enough time to soak up all of your love and affection, not enough time to shower you with the immense love they hold for you, and not enough time to just be with you. in their minds this is a logical reason as to why they can’t give in to the obvious longing to be together, but they know the other reasons why they’re holding themselves back.

for them you deserve someone who isn’t already so tainted with the trials and tribulations of life, one who has not gone through so much as to feel some sort of pessimism now and then. one whom you can realistically build a life from scratch together, not one bogged down by the various lives they’ve lived and the more that will come. you are someone that still has a myriad of adventures to live through, and they are someone who has already had their fair share of them in their lifetime; they are not sure if they are truly the ones that you’d want to stand by your side through them all.

and so they shall resort to only kind and respectful interactions, masking their desire to be with you wholly, for they fear that they might jump headfirst into a romance that could potentially destroy you both.

jing yuan, welt yang, tingyun, zhongli, venti, raiden shogun/ei, xiao

they wouldn’t necessarily call themselves to be too dangerous (others would like to differ, but they’re not exactly important right now), but they know that their work and what they do aren’t exactly the safest out there. they’re well aware that there are people that wish harm upon them in any way, either to gain an upper hand against them, as an act of retribution for whatever reasons, or any other justifications their enemies have for wanting to attack in the first place. needless to say they do not necessarily lead a safe life, being constantly on high alert is just something that they’ve grown used to.

they can’t really say the same about you, someone who leads a life of normalcy and away from all the dangers of a world you don’t belong to. they’re afraid that if they get even closer than they already are, you’d somehow find yourself with a bright red target on you (and potentially those close to you as well) because his enemies found out you are an important person in their life. no matter how much they can feel the mutual longing for more, your safety is something they will never risk, even if it means disappearing from your life.

childe, ayato, xiao, cyno, kaeya, diluc, dehya, yelan, aether, lumine, silverwolf, blade, stelle, caelus

they’ll never really know what it’s like to be human, warts and all. sure they might possess something in them that can be attributed to humans, but that will always just be it really, something unnatural to them, something that they acquired through whatever means. they can look, sound, smell, feel, and play the part for sure (they’d been doing so for who knows how long now), but they feel that there will always be something separating them from you, something they can never quite attain no matter how hard they try. this mere fact alone creates an invisible wall between the both of you, one they believe that can never be crossed over.

the only thing they can really do is ruminate on what it would be like to be with you, whether as humans or in a place in which the things that don’t make them as one do not play a huge role in their life. their imagination is the only place they can ever truly be with you, for they are convinced that their non-human nature would cause more hurt than love.

svarog, screwllum, venti, zhongli, IL dan heng, ganyu, albedo, xiao

the tags are going to be crazy for this one (´⊙ω⊙`)！ngl this one feels sort of rushed in a way, but i wanted to write and post something short and simple before i try to dive into anything more ambitious again (👍ᐛ ) also yes this post is me officially saying that i am a svarog and screwllum fucker ( ˘ ^˘ )=3 hoyo just really had to make not one but two spectacular robot men to simp over.

also idk if it's apparent enough but these are just some personal hc's i have of the characters listed above, and treat these as just their hc insecurities so please don't come for me if you think these are not that accurate to their characters 🙏

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