#scream for me sarajevo

[dickinson-devotee]

Bruce adjacent, but very cool imho. Chris Dale, Bruce's bassist while he toured Balls to Picasso and Skunkworks, is currently in Sarajevo with his son, and shared this.

"Here’s Archie standing on the stage that I stood on 30 years ago, BKC Sarajevo."

July 10, 2024

——

Let this serve as a nudge to watch Scream For Me Sarajevo, if you haven't already, it's quite incredible.

[little-candy-store-of-horrors]

Two sides of the same coin - angry, wronged and aching for change - tossed up in some sort of gamble against the bloodiest odds.

[mediocres-writing-blog]

Mortal Kombat: Enenra's Shadow.

Chapter 2: Viktor's bad day

Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina. One of the largest and most populated cities in the Balkan peninsula. It is home to many people of various traditions and religions. It is also the home of our humble protagonist, who is heading home with a friend as we speak. 

VIKTOR: I’m telling you, Made In Heaven couldn’t beat Gold Experience Requiem even if Pucci tried.

(???): How? Pucci could literally speedblitz Giorno in seventy different ways.

VIKTOR: Well yeah, but GER can always undo anything that Made In Heaven does anyways. As if it never even happened. It’s literally invincible..

His friend sighed in disappointment, putting his hands in his pockets.

(???): If I wasn’t any better I’d hit you right now. Alright, I gotta go. See ya.

VIKTOR: Ciao.

Viktor would then receive a call from his mother. He picked up and spoke in Bosnian.

VIKTOR: <Hello?>

VIKTOR’S MOM (over phone): <Son, where are you?>

VIKTOR: <Oh, hey mom. There was another tip at school and everyone went home. So my friend and I went to get a coffee. I’ll be home in 30-45 minutes.>

VIK’S MOM: <Okay. See you.>

VIKTOR: <See you.>

He hangs up and sits on a trolley. After getting off to his stop, he walks by an ally, eyeing a group of street thugs. He looks away instantly, and as he does one of them yells out to him.

THUG LEADER: <Hey, fag! Over here.>

VIKTOR: (Oh my god…)

He sighed, as he turned around slowly, facing the armed man.

VIKTOR: Yeah?

The man took a baseball and put it on his shoulder.

THUG LEADER: <Give us your money.>

Viktor sighed, giving them ten marks. 

VIKTOR: <That’s all I got. Please, I don’t want any trouble.>

The thug pocketed the money, making Viktor flinch with his grin. Viktor walked off, with his hands in his pockets and an angry facial expression.

VIKTOR: (Son of a bitch… You’ll get yours, I swear.)

Enenra noticed this, and immediately took notice of the pink-haired boy. They slithered to Viktor, attaching to him without him noticing. The thugs slowly followed Viktor, who didn’t notice, because he had headphones on, listening to folk music. 30 minutes later, as Viktor approached his building, he noticed the thugs behind him.

VIKTOR: (Oh shit, oh fuck, oh crap)

He thought to himself, trying to unlock the door faster, but was kicked into it by one of them. He grunted in pain, falling on the ground.

THUG LEADER: <You think you can mess with me, you shit? 10 FUCKING MARKS?!>

He said, kicking Viktor in the chest.

VIKTOR (weakly): Please… Stop…

The thug, grinning, kept kicking the boy more. Viktor then spoke, even louder.

VIKTOR: I… Said… STOP!!

He shouted, and a burst of dark gray spikes shot out of Viktor’s body, knocking some thugs on the ground and penetrating the leader’s leg. He screamed out in pain, and Viktor got up, and Enenra emerged from Viktor’s body, surrounding his body with his own goopy body. He grabbed the thug from the floor before he could crawl away. Enenra held him up to his own height, opening his mouth, with smoke coming out of his mouth as he spoke.

ENENRA: I now know you’ll never hurt his boy again. Would you like to know how I know?

THUG (quietly): <No, please, I'm begging you.>

ENENRA: You’ll never hurt anyone again in your life, for it's over now.

The demon spoke, taking a big bite out of his head, chewing it and swallowing it in a matter of seconds. Enenra looked at the other thugs, who saw it all and are sitting around in pure horror. 

ENENRA: Any of you want what he got?

The other thugs ran off, and police sirens were heard in the distance. Enenra heard them and hid away in Viktor, who looked at the headless body and ran away in pure and utter fear. He fell and broke his leg under a bridge while running. As police sirens went by, Viktor realized his leg was already healed. Enenra slithered out from Viktor’s shoulder, and the two looked at each other.

ENENRA: Well, That's something I didn’t know I could do.

VIKTOR: What the fuck are you?

ENENRA: I am Enenra. I am… well, was, would be the correct term… I was a demon from the Netherrealm.

VIKTOR: What the shit are you talking about? What’s a nether realm? Hell you mean demon? I have so many questions–

Enenra would then use one of his appendages to slap Viktor.

VIKTOR: Did you just slap me?

ENENRA: You technically slapped yourself.

VIKTOR: This shit can’t be real… Did I accidentally take Jovan’s brownies? Gotta be it.

ENENRA: You aren’t high. If you were, you wouldn’t have been under a bridge.

Viktor hyperventilated, with his hand on his heart and neck. He heard buzzing from his jacket. It was his mom again, to which he hesitantly answer.

VIKTOR: <Hey mom.>

VIK’S MOM: <Son , where are you? The police are under our building. Did something happen?>

Viktor looked at Enenra, who looked back at him with a shrug.

VIKTOR: <Well, I guess. There was some fight and I didn’t want to be a part of it so I ran off. I’ll be home in a 5, 10 minutes tops.>

VIK’S MOM: <Okay. I love you son. Come back safely.>

VIKTOR: <Understood. I love you too, mom.>

He hung up and put the phone back in his jacket. 

VIKTOR: If you could put us back on the road?

Enenra snapped back, having spaced out.

ENENRA: Oh, sorry, I spaced after listening to you and your mother’s dialogue. 

Enenra would pull them back up and they headed off home. The police were at the scene, interrogating the bodies. Viktor would take a deep breath and speak to an officer.

VIKTOR: <Good evening, sir.>

The officer grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.

OFFICER: <Slow down, boy! This is a crime scene, you can’t just walk in.>

VIKTOR: <But this is my building. I have to get home, my mom will be furious.>

The cop smiled, letting the kid through to the door.

VIKTOR: <Thank you.>

OFFICER: <Stay safe and out of trouble.>

Viktor unlocked the door, went inside and headed to his apartment. At the door, awaited his mother, who gave him a warm hug, and a kiss on the forehead.

VIK’S MOM: <Where have you been? Are you hurt? You’re so pale.> VIKTOR: <I’m okay, mom, don’t panic.>

Viktor would take off his jacket and backpack, heading off to his room and locking his door. As soon as he laid in bed, Enenra’s chilling voice was in his ear.

ENENRA: That’s your mother, right?

Viktor would gasp, falling off the bed in the process.

VIKTOR: You’re in my head now??

ENENRA: Stop dodging the question. That’s your mother, is that correct?

VIKTOR: Well, yes. Why? 

ENENRA: You seem to like her a lot.

VIKTOR: I would rather have my arm ripped off than let anyone hurt her.

Enenra slithered out, showing his face to the boy.

ENENRA: I respect that. Also, I’m going to use your body to commit countless atrocities across the realms.

VIKTOR: What? No!

ENENRA: That is why I chose you as my host in the first place. That and you don’t seem to have a lot of friends.

Viktor spent a second, processing that insult.

VIKTOR: Rude. But fair. Unfortunately, I still have to go to school. So while you live in my body, you will have to abide by my rules, got it?

Enenra frowned. His sharp teeth growling.

VIKTOR: Are we clear?

ENENRA (annoyed): Crystal…

VIKTOR: Good. Goodnight.

He said, before changing clothes and dozing off to bed. Viktor’s mother stood behind the door, hearing him speak in English. With a sad and worried look on her face, she walked off before turning the lights off.

[welcometololaland]

My first instinct was to ask something totally off the wall like top five favorite things I’ve ever said 😂 But this isn’t about me.

Top 5 places you’ve visited!

THIS IS SO HARD!!!! top 5 things you've ever said help I'm screaming 😂😂😂💀💀💀

okay places (I won't explain why because I'll never shut up and this post will be 1 million words):

1. Amsterdam, The Netherlands (aka. my second home).

2. Ilha Grande, Brazil (I haven't been to Brazil in 10 years, so this photo really doesn't depict how beautiful this place is).

3. Krakow (and Zakopane), Poland.

4. Istanbul (and the Turquiose coast, sorry I'm cheating so bad), Turkey (once again, apologies for shit camera work).

5. Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina.

[fleshybones]

music unlearned

•U2 - Numb, lemon , miss Sarajevo , ground under feet, Electrical Storm 

Depeche mode - I feel you, I feel loved 

The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode 

Alice In Chains - Rooster, no excuses,Grind •

Stone temple pilots - plush, Sour Girl 

Pearl Jam - go, better man , mankind , hail hail , leavin here , given to fly, nothing as it seems, I am Mine 

Snout - cromagnonman 

New Order - World, crystal, 60 miles an hour 

Chaka demus & pliers - tease 

Us3 - cantaloop

Screaming Trees - nearly lost you 

East 17 - Deep 

Atomicswing - stone me into the groove 

Dinosaur Jr. - Start Choppin’, Get Me, Feel thePain 

Powderfinger - Living Thing , D.A.F. , JC, the day you come , my happiness , my kind of scene , sunsets , rockin’ rocks, bless my soul

Lenny Kravitz - Are You GonnaGo My Way 

Buffalo Tom - Tailgates Fade, Summer 

 Nenah cherry & Michael Stipe - Trout , women 

Violent Femmes - I held her in my arms 

The breeders - cannonball , saints 

Pet shop boys - can you forgive 

The cruel sea - black stick, simple goodbye 

Iggy pop - Wild America 

Cypress Hill - Hits from the Bong 

Suede - the downers 

Underground Lovers - Your Eyes 

Barefoot - Baby (You got in the way)❌

Things of stone and wood - Wildflowers 

Counting Crows - Round Here 

The cure - purple haze , burn, wrong number 

Morrisey - the more you ignore me

Swoop - Doit , neighborhood freak 

Pale - Lemon Spark 

The Jesus & Mary Chain - Sometimes Always 

Dave Pike - Mathar

Beck - beercan , where it’s at, devils haircut , tropicalia

Rebecca’s Empire - Electric Atomic 

Hole - Miss World , Doll Parts , Malibu 

The Prodigy - Voodoo People, firestarter, breathe, funky shit 

Falling joys - Amen (Testament Remix) 

Soundgarden - Fell on Black Days , My Wave, burden in my hands 

Single gun theory - Fall 

Itch-e & scratch-e - sweetness & light

You am I - Berlin Chair , Kick a Hole in the Sky, jewels & bullets, purple sneakers, get up, who put the devil in you? 

Veruca salt - Seether 

Dead eyes opened - severed heads 

Nick cave - do you love me? , where the wild roses grow , in my arms , 15 ft of pure white snow 

Kristin Hersh - Your Ghost 

Nick Barker - Time Bomb 

Nirvana - About Girl, You Know Youre Right 

Silverchair - tomorrow, the door, freak, untitled , miss you love , paint pastel princess, greatest view, across the night, world upon your shoulders, love your life 

Teenage fan club - sparkys dream 

Presidents of the United States - Kitty 

Tumbleweed -Hang Around, Silver Lizard 

Faith No More - Evidence , digging the, stripsearch , ash to ash 

Pop! - Tingly

Matthew sweet - sick of myself 

Red hot chil - Warped , aeroplane , my friends , around the world, fortune faded 

The offspring - smash it up , I choose , the kids aren’t alright, original prankstore 

Foo fighters - I’ll stick around, this is a call, down in the park, monkey wrench , stacked actors, generator, Times Like These, Disenchanted Lullaby

Dash rip rock - let’s go smoke some pot 

Live - all over you , I alone 

Supergrass - alright, pumping on your stereo 

Rail - immune deficiency 

The screaming jets - sad song 

Technohead - I want to be a hippy 

Jeff Buckley - Grace, last Goodbye, forget her 

Jailbreak - yothuYindi 

Green Day - Brain Stew / Geek Stink Breath , Hitchin A Ride , nice guys finish last , minority, warning 

Sonic Youth- The Diamond Sea , Teenage Riot *

Ammonia - drugs 

Rancid - Time Bomb, Ruby Soho

Tripping Daisy - I got a Girl 

Garbage - Queer , Vow , 1 Crush, Special, Push It, Cherry Lips 

Oasis - Morning Glory, Little By Little 

Custard - apartment , anatomically correct

Ben Harper - Gold to Me , Diamonds inside , My Own2 Hands

Ac/Dc - Hail Caesar 

REM - E-bow the Letter , the great beyond, Imitation of Life, Radio Free Europe 

Goldfinger - Ash, Here in your bedroom 

Deadstar - don’t it get you down 

Def FX - I’ll Be Your Majick , Psychoactive Summer 

Eels - Novacainefor the soul , Mr. E’s Beautiful Blues , Souljacker Pt. 1

Primitive radio gods - standing outside *

Definition of sound- pass the vibes 

Lemonheads- if I could talk I’d tell you 

The smashing pumpkins - 0 , the end is the beginning is the end, Ava adore, perfect , untitled 

The chemical brothers - setting sun , block rockin beats, started in Afrika , star guitar, golden path  

Ash - oh yeah, burn bab

Bush - swallowed 

They Might Be Giants - New York City , Dr. Worm , man it’s loud in here 

Jebediah - leaving home , military strongmen , Teflon, Benedict , feet touch the ground, Animal , please leave 

Ween - waving my d in the wind, mutilated lips 

Nine inch nails - perfect drug , starsuckers inc., 

The Verve - the drugs don’t work 

Smokin’ Johnny Cash - black eyed Susans 

Regurgitator - Everyday Formula, I Like Your Old Remix , Polyester Girl, Happiness, My Friend Robot

Everclear - so much for the afterglow 

Radiohead - Paranoid Android , Karma Police , no surprises , everything in its right place , Knives Out, 2+2=5, there there 

The Living End - From Here on In, Save the Day, Tainted Love , All Torn Down, R On, One Said to the Other 

Jamiroquai - Cosmic Girl, You Give Me Something , Love Foolosophy 

Space - Female of the Species 

The dandy Warhols - not if you were the last junkie on earth, everyday should be a holiday, Bohemian Like You , get off , used to be friend, you were the last high

Brain bug- Nightmare

Skunkhour - weightlessness 

Pennywise - society , land down under, fuck authority

Bloodhound Gang- Fire Water Burn 

White Town - Your Woman 

Portishead - All Mine, Wandering Stars

Marcy Playground - St. Joe on the School Bus 

Pollyanna - cinnamon lip 

Placebo - Pure Morning , Slave to the Wage , Taste in Men, the Bitter End, English Summer Rain 

Drugstore - el Presidente

Not from there - sich offnen 

Rob Zombie - Dragula 

Metallica - the unforgiven II, I Disappear, no leaf clover, St. Anger

Grinspoon - don’t go away, Ready 1, no reason, anyday anyhow, bolt cutter, off piste, killswitch, gone tomorrow, hate, better off alone 

Gerling - Enter spacecapsule 

Groove Armada- Chicago, in my bones, a private interlude, inside my mind (blue skies), superstylin’, purple haze 

Elliot Smith - Waltz 2, Memory Lane 

Frenzal Rhomb - You are not my friend , going out tonite, bucket bong 

Augie March - Asleep in Perfection

Madonna - beautiful stranger 

Something for Kate - Electricity, Hallways, beautiful sharks, Deja vu 

Alex Lloyd - lucky star, coming home

Orgy - blue Monday (new order cover)  

A Perfect Circle - Judith, weak and powerless, Outsider, Imagine

Moby - Porcelain , We Are All Made Of Stars 

Gomez - We Haven’t Turned Around , Machismo 

Klinger - Hello Cruel World 

Spiller - Groovejet (if this ain’t love)

Motor Ace - Death Defy , American Shoes, Hey Driver

Killing Heidi - Superman supergirl 

Moloko - the Time is Now 

Everlast - black Jesus 

Area - 7 start making sense, nobody likes Bogan 

Skulker - naughty 

Muse - sunburn , Bliss, New Born, Plug in Baby, Stockholm Syndrome 

NOFX - Bottles to the Ground, Franco Un-American 

Groove Terminator - one more time (the sunshine song) 

Butthole surfers - the shame of life 

Weezer - Hash Pipe, Dope Nose, Keep Fishin’

Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American (Party Animal soundtrack) 

At the Drive In - Invalid Litter Dept. , Pattern Against User 

the Superman Lovers - Starlight

James - Getting Away (All Messed Up) 

Daft Punk - One More Time 

John Butler Trio - Take, What you Want 

Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood , 19-2000

Unwrittten Law - Up All Night

The Strokes - New York City Cop, Last Nite, Hard to Explain, 12:51

Superheist - Step Back 

PJ Harvey - The Mess We’re In

Nick Coppin - Called ❌

Jurassic 5 - What’s Golden 

Machine Translations - She Wears A Mask 

Queens of the Stone Age - First it Giveth, God is in the Radio, Go With the Flow , No One Knows 

Primal Scream - Rocks

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - What Ever Happened To My Rock and Roll 

The Hives - Hate to Say I Told You so, Walk Idiot Walk 

The Vines - Outtatheway, Get Free, Highly Evolved, Ride

The Streets - Has it come to this? 

28 Days - What’s the Deal? , Take Me Away

The Fergusons - Everything’s Gone Bad 

Audioslave - Show Me How To Live, Cochise 

Junkie XL - A Little Less Conversation (Elvis)

Badly Drawn Boy - Something Talk About, Silent Sigh 

Bodyjar - one in a million, too drunk to drive 

Epicure - Armies Against Me, Life Sentence, Self Destruct in 5 

Skeewiff - man of constant sorrow 

Pete Murray - Feeler, Lines

Cat Empire - Chariot, Days Like These, The Party Started 

Michael Franti - Bomb the World

White Stripes - Seven Nation Army, in the Cold Night

Blur- out of Time

Jane’s Addiction - Just Because 

Royksopp - Clocks(Coldplay Remix)

Missy Higgins - Greed For Your Love 

The Mars Volta - Inertiatic ESP 

The Beautiful Girls - Blackbird, Music

Jet - Rollover DJ , Look What You’ve Done, Get What You Need 

The Dissociatives - Young Man, Old Man

Dallas Crane - Dirty Hearts, Numb All Over 

Franz Ferdinand - The Fire, Take Me Out, The Dark of the Matinée

Eskimo Joe - Smoke, From the Sea 

Evermore - For One Day, it’s Too Late

The Von Bondies - C’mon C’mon 

Wolfmother - Woman 

Scissor Sisters - Comfortably Numb, Take Me Out 

Machine Gun Fellatio - What the Fuck

Ben Folds - Adelaide 

DEEPDISH - Flashdance

The Black Keys - 10 AM Automatic

Dogs Die In Hot Cars - Godhopping

After the Fall - Mirror Mirror 

Snow Patrol - Run 

The Unicorns - I Was Born A Unicorn 

End of Fashion - Rough Diamonds 

Gyroscope - Safe Forever 

King of Leon - The Bucket 

Interpol - Slow Hands, Evil

Starsailor - Four to the Floor (Thin White Duke Remix)

Spiderbait - Fucken Awesome 

Rammstein - Amerika

The Panda Band - Sleepy Little Deathtoll Town 

Mylo - Drop the Pressure 

Fabienne Delsol - I’m Gonna Haunt You 

Sia - Breathe 

War - Edwin Starr

Let’s Stay Together - Al Green

Jungle Boogie - Kool and the Gang

The Way We Were - Barbra Streisand

Love to Love You Baby - Donna Summer

Best of My Love - The Emotions

Three Times a Lady - The Commodores,

It’s too late - Carole King 

The Veronicas, turnover, saves the day, citizen, thrice, finch, zebra head, mxpx, beach bunny ••

[moonrevolutions]

How were your travels?

❝You know, I basically lived in Portugal for a while.❞ Already was missing that moradia, right on the water. Right beside the family with a couple that argued over whose mother was the worse—with the occasional, screaming mother-in-law joining. His happiest days were spent on the balcony, listening to what was basically playground insults. ❝Overall, it was all pretty good. Like, I hit up a lot of countries I've been wanting to visit. Loooots of fun spots! Lahemaa National Park, the Julian Alps, Spiš Castle, Sarajevo... I met a cute guy in a club while I was in the city of Budva... Got his number. Name's Gaspard. He's, like, a tortured poet type. I don't usually go for poets because I'm an artist that is allergic to romantic feelings towards other artists, but, like... He's 6'6". Do you HEAR me? He's 6'6". And, he owns a coin collection that he's incredibly passionate about. I mean... Let me at him. C'mon.❞

[khodorkovskaya]

23.08.23

aïe aïe aïe i posted a recap of the altin gun concert but the tumblr app just like didn't post it and now it's gone, great!

but anyway, yeah, if it works this time the video will appear here:

so yeah there were soooo many people. here is a pic my parents took and another one from nik's story:

i managed to squeeze myself through the crowd and get to the first row ofc. and i went through so many emotions... when they played this i cried. and at the end i screamed MARRY ME at merve at the top of my lungs, i hope she heard me lol. she's soooo hot oh my...

the only downside is that i didnt see many real fans at the concert. most people just stood there or worse were talking. meanwhile i jumper up and down and danced like crazy and screamed the lyrics in turkish lol. did i annoy a lot of people? probably. but i wasn't just gonna stand there while my favourite band was playing. the emotions i felt you guys...

my oxford bestie and i wanted to go to sarajevo to see lepa brena live at the zetra arena in april but now im scared because i feel like if i see her live i will just die like i will go into cardiac arrest.

so yeah, so many emotions!

other than that panda and i went to this event yesterday and i didn't network with anyone, i just ate. a lot. the buffet was so good you guys. but i legit couldnt move afterwards. it was too much.

and today i was at the library as always and i saw this girl i knew in college. and it like disturbed me idk.

so a bit of a back story, i bumped into another girl i went to college with on the street the other day. and i remember i really wanted to be friends with her but she like never reciprocated and idk why. we would talk at break time, we texted a bit, we went to germany for an exchange together, she came to my house for a party once. like we got along fine and i really wanted to get to know her bc idk she was just cool. but every time id ask her to hang out she'd just say "yeah yeah" and it never went any further. and then i got a bit frustrated and stopped initiating things and she stopped talking to me all together bc it was always me who'd make the first move.

then she stopped going to school and to be frank with you i hadn't noticed. i thought she just missed a couple of classes because we only had one class together that year and i didn't see her much anyway. but then after graduation i bumped into her on the tram and she said that she had fallen ill and had to drop out. and i felt horrible. because i was selfish thinking that she didn't like me, but she was at the hospital and i hadn't even noticed or sent a "how are you" text. i felt super guilty.

and ever since then idk, id always thought about her as like "the one who got away" in a way, you know what i mean? because i feel like we could've been great friends but she didn't like me as much as i liked her and plus she had fallen ill and things happened and i never got the chance to like become her friend. like i remember every time we'd find ourselves like alone at breaktime or on that trip to germany and we'd have these great conversations, but then things would get in the way and it always felt like we never had enough time. at least on my end. idk.

and ive bumped into her on the street god knows how many times. i haven't seen people i was actually close with in college as much as ive seen her! and every time im like "let's get coffee" and she just goes "uh-huh" and that's it. and then i bump into her again and im like god damn it, i missed my chance again! and this has been going on for literal years. things like this really make me think that im autistic

so i bumped into her again this week!

and today i saw her from across the hall talking to another girl from high school! and this is where it gets weird.

so this other girl who was with her, i remember her quite well! we were always partners in chemistry class and we did a project about nitsche for philosophy class and i think we had french together too, did we? and i remember she had a dog and liked anime. and i remembered all those things about her. and i literally haven't thought about her in yearssss! ...and i couldn't remember her name.

i was like shit. okay. chemistry class. nietzsche. dog. anime. what's her name damn it????? i couldn't remember it.

and it made me feel weird. because in order to try and remember her name i started to like dig up all those memories from college. and the more i thought about it the weirder it got. bc on one hand im like huh 2018 wasn't so long ago was it? but then i remember ahhhh chemistry class ahhhh p.e. ahhh being a teenager. it all seems so surreal. and i don't remember any of it clearly. it's all in this like weird fog.

and it sucks because i feel like since i was permanently in this "foggy" state in high school it like stunted my growth. because i missed out on so many normal teenage experiences that i can't catch up on now. like instead of having a normal relationship, i had umm my 30 yr old ex. instead of going to normal teenage parties i went to germany with a 50 year old drug addict. and i was so in my head... like. i really wasn't present. and while everyone else made lifelong friends i was just. not present.

and like it's not a big deal. at least i had the parties and the drugs and the boyfriend, right? i wasn't a loner, i wasn't bullied, i was fine. but it just like... frustrated me. that like. the "girl who got away" got a girlfriend, while i was hanging out with my 30 yr old. and she's in touch with my other former friend from highschool. meanwhile i was too busy to maintain friendships bc i was hanging out with my 30 yr old. it's all very frustrating bc i can't get that time back. i can't catch up on everything ive missed out on. and now im this friendless loser who can't remember anyone's name.

[pagesofdaydreams]

You were not able to ignore furniture imperfections. You were too light to arm the airbag. You were not able to open most jars. You were not sure how you should wear your hair, and so, ten minutes late and halfway down the stairs, you would examine your reflection in a framed picture of dead family. You were not angry, just protecting your dignity.

We went to the Atacama. We went to Sarajevo. We went to Tobey Pond every year until we didn’t. We braved thirteen inches of snow to attend a lecture in a planetarium. We tried having dinner parties. We tried owning nothing. We left handprints in a moss garden in Kyoto, and got each other off under a towel in Jaffa. We braved my parents’ for Thanksgiving and yours for the rest, and how did it happen that we were suddenly at my father’s side while he drowned in his own body? I lay beside him on the bed, observed my hand reaching for his brow, said, “Despite everything—” “What everything?” he asked, so I said, “Nothing,” or nothing.

I couldn’t explain the cycles of the moon without pen and paper, or with. You didn’t know where e-mails were. I wouldn’t congratulate a woman until she explicitly said she was pregnant. You spent a few minutes every day secretly regretting your laziness that didn’t exist. I should have forgiven you for all that wasn’t your fault.

You were terrible in emergencies. You were wonderful in “The Cherry Orchard.” I was always never complaining, because confrontation was death to me, and because everything was pretty much always pretty much O.K. with me. You were not able to approach the ocean at night. I didn’t know where my voice was between my phone and yours. You were never standing by the window at parties, but you were always by the window. I was so paranoid about kind words. I was just not watching the news in the basement. You were just making a heroic effort to make things look easy. I was terrible about acknowledging anyone else’s efforts. You were not green-thumbed, but you were not content to be not content. I was always in need of just one good dress shirt, or just one something that I never had. You were too injured by things that happened in the distant past for anything to be effortless in the present. I was always struggling to be natural with my hands. You were never immune to unexpected gifts. I was mostly just joking.

I was not neurotic, just apocalyptic. You were always copying keys and looking up words. I was not afraid of quiet; I just hated it. So my hand was always in my pocket, around a phone I never answered. You were not cheap or handy with tools, just hurt by my distance. I was never indifferent to the children of strangers, just frustrated by my own unrelenting optimism. You were not unsurprised when, that last night in Norfolk, I drove you to Tobey Pond, led you by the hand down the slope of brambles and across the rotting planks to the constellations in the water. Sharing our happiness diminished your happiness. I was not going to dance at our wedding, and you were not going to speak. No part of me was nervous that morning.

When you screamed at no one, I sang to you. When you finally fell asleep, the nurse took him to bathe him, and, still sleeping, you reached out your arms.

He was not a terrible sleeper. I acknowledged to no one my inability to be still with him or anyone. You were not overwhelmed but overtired. I was never afraid of rolling over onto him in my sleep, but I awoke many nights sure that he was underwater on the floor. I loved collapsing things. You loved the tiny socks. You were not depressed, but you were unhappy. Your unhappiness didn’t make me defensive; I just hated it. He was never happy unless held. I loved hammering things into walls. You hated having no inner life. I secretly wondered if he was deaf. I hated the gnawing longing that accompanied having everything. We were learning to see each other’s blindnesses. I Googled questions that I couldn’t ask our doctor or you.

They encouraged us to buy insurance. We had sex to have orgasms. You loved reupholstering. I went to the gym to go somewhere, and looked in the mirror when there was something I was hoping not to see. You hated our bed. He could stand himself up, but not get himself down. They fined us for our neighbor’s garbage. We couldn’t wait for the beginnings and ends of vacations. I was not able to look at a blueprint and see a renovated kitchen, so I stayed out of it. They came to our door during meals, but I talked to them and gave.

I counted the seconds backward until he fell asleep, and then started counting the seconds backward until he woke up. We took the same walks again and again, and again and again ate at the same easy restaurants. They said he looked like them. I was always watching movie trailers on my computer. You were always wiping surfaces. I was always hearing my father’s laugh and never remembering his face. You broke everyone’s heart until you suddenly couldn’t. He suddenly drew, suddenly spoke, suddenly wrote, suddenly reasoned. One night I couldn’t help him with his math. He got married.

We went to London to see a play. We tried putting aside time to do nothing but read, but we did nothing but sleep. We were always never mentioning it, because we didn’t know what it was. I did nothing but look for you for twenty-seven years. I didn’t even know how electricity worked. We tried spending more time not together. I was not defensive about your boredom, but my happiness had nothing to do with happiness. I loved it when people who worked for me genuinely liked me. We were always moving furniture and never making eye contact. I hated my inability to visit a foreign city without fantasizing about real estate. And then your father was dead. I often wasn’t reading the book that I was holding. You were never not in someone’s garden. Our mothers were dying to talk about nothing.

At a certain point you became convinced that you were always reading yesterday’s newspaper. At a certain point I stopped agonizing over being understood, and became over-reliant on my car’s G.P.S. You couldn’t tolerate trace amounts of jelly in the peanut-butter jar. I couldn’t tolerate gratuitously boisterous laughter. At a certain point I could stare without pretext or apology. Isn’t it funny that if God were to reveal and explain Himself, the majority of the world would necessarily be disappointed? At a certain point you stopped wearing sunscreen.

How can I explain the way I shrugged off nuclear annihilation but mortally feared a small fall? You couldn’t tolerate people who couldn’t tolerate babies on planes. I couldn’t tolerate people who insisted that having a coffee after lunch would keep them up all night. At a certain point I could hear my knees and felt no need to correct other people’s grammar. How can I explain why foreign cities came to mean so much to me? At a certain point you stopped agonizing over your ambitiousness, but at a certain point you stopped trying. I couldn’t tolerate magicians who did things that someone who actually had magical powers would never do.

We were all doing well. I was still in love with the Olympics. The smaller the matter, the more I allowed your approval to mean to me. They kept producing new things that we didn’t need that we needed. I needed your approval more than I needed anything. My sister died at a restaurant. My mother promised anyone who would listen that she was fine. They changed our filters. You wanted to see the northern lights. I wanted to learn a dead language. You were in the garden, not planting, but standing there. You dropped two handfuls of soil.

And here we aren’t, so quickly: I’m not twenty-six and you’re not sixty. I’m not forty-five or eighty-three, not being hoisted onto the shoulders of anybody wading into any sea. I’m not learning chess, and you’re not losing your virginity. You’re not stacking pebbles on gravestones; I’m not being stolen from my resting mother’s arms. Why didn’t you lose your virginity to me? Why didn’t we enter the intersection one thousandth of a second sooner, and die instead of die laughing? Everything else happened—why not the things that could have?

I am not unrealistic anymore. You are not unemotional. I am not interested in the news anymore, but I was never interested in the news. What’s more, I am probably ambidextrous. I was probably meant to be effortless. You look like yourself right now. I was so slow to change, but I changed. I was probably a natural tennis player, just like my father used to say over and over and over.

I changed and changed, and with more time I will change more. I’m not disappointed, just quiet. Not unthinking, just reckless. Not willfully unclear, just trying to say it as it wasn’t. The more I remember, the more distant I feel. We reached the middle so quickly. After everything it’s like nothing. I have always never been here. What a shame it wasn’t easy. What a waste of what? What a joke. But come. No explaining or mending. Be beside me somewhere: on the split stools of this bar, by the edge of this cliff, in the seats of this borrowed car, at the prow of this ship, on the all-forgiving cushions of this threadbare sofa in this one-story copper-crying fixer-upper whose windows we once squinted through for hours before coming to our senses: “What would we even do with such a house?”

[sea-of-machines]

in honour of Bruce's 64th birthday, here's pictures of him and his band Skunkworks on their trip to Sarajevo in 1994

[nipresa]

Metal sotto l'assedio (sul serio)

Metal sotto l’assedio (sul serio)

Se si pensa a rockstar occidentali legate all’assedio di Sarajevo probabilmente il primo nome che viene in mente è quello degli U2; a Bono e soci va in effetti riconosciuto il merito di avere cercato di tenere viva l’attenzione dell’occidente su un massacro del quale di fatto importava molto poco a tutti. Durante lo ZooTV tour del 1992/1993 avevano un collegamento satellitare con la città…

[rockaramarocks]

Bruce Dickinson: documentário "Scream For Me Sarajevo" chegará aos cinemas em abril

“Scream For Me Sarajevo” é um documentário que conta a história de um show feito pelo cantor Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden) na cidade de Sarajevo, capital da Bósnia e Herzegovina… - https://goo.gl/gfYq4R

[maidenthebeast]

algunas pic que quedaron afuera de la nota trailer de “Scream For Me Sarajevo” http://www.maidenthebeast.com/web/bruce-dickinson-se-revela-trailer-scream-for-me-sarajevo

[vs-redemption]

As someone with an eurovision tattoo, I think I'm qualified enough to talk about this 😅.

Eurovision is a wonderful mess.

Europeans yelling at each other trough music, cursing at countries only, crewing other countries over with voting and all collectively rooting against the UK when it comes last again. Yes it is high in betting odds, but I believe in my fellow Europeans that we can give UK 0 points again. It's tradition!

Though Eurovision has a fascinating history! It started in 1956 to bring Europe together again after the wars. At first mainly Western Europe participated, then in 1961 Yugoslavia debuted, making it the only communist country to participate. The Soviet Union didn't like that the country became close with the West but that's a different story! Yugoslavia actually won the contest in 1989 (with Rock me by Riva), making it the first and last communist country to win.

In 1974 the legendary band ABBA won with Waterloo. ABBA is well known for their musical and movie Mamma Mia and its sequel. Funfact this was Swedens first win, so they won with a Classic!

In 1987 Johnny 'Mr Eurovision' Logan won the contest for the second time, he also wrote the 1992 winning entry 'Why Me' he is the only winner that won multiple times, though many have tried.

In 1993, the first ever pre-qualifiers were held in Ljubljana, Slovenia. 7 countries wanted to debut in Euroviaion, the EBU (broadcaster) didn't want that many new nations, so the qualifiers were held. Slovakia, Romania, Estonia, Hungary, Slovenia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Croatia took part, the last 3 countries qualified for Eurovision. The other 4 debuted with Poland and Lithuania the year after.

There have been many political songs but I wanted to talk about Bosnias Eurovision song that year. Sva Bol Svijeta, all the pain in the world. At that time Bosnia was at war. Sarajevo (capital) was under siege. Europe watched as it didn't want to get involved. So the band Fazla, sung about the war, how they wouldn't give up, halfway trough the song they turned their back at Europe, The same way Europe did at Bosnia. To this day that song makes me cry. The band and spokesperson, who was in Sarajevo giving their points got alot of applause for this.

Well some fun facts

Serbia won the year they debuted in 2007

Portugals 1974 song became the signal against their dictator weeks after the contest.

Lucia Moniz (Portugal 1996) was in the classic Christmas movie, Love Actually. She played the Portugese Love interest of Jamie, the writer. She was also the highest result for Portugal until they won in 2017. Making it the longest wait to win in Eurovision! Now that title belongs to Iceland.

The youngest winner was a 13 year old girl, who lied that she was 15. Sandra Kim from Belgium.

Eurovision is sometimes called the gay superbowl and is more watched than the sport.

3 songs were performed in a made up language (Belgium did that twice and NL followed its neighbor in 2006)

I always root against my country.

Some countries almost won on their first attempt, and for some it's still their best result

Lithuania best result is a joke entry (2006, we are the winners, wich came 6th)

Joke entries are the best and the Baltics are the kings of the jokes.

The presenters of the 2008 contest got married in 2012

The presenter of the 2006, 50 years of eurovision made a joke that Finland would not win if they kept screaming, couple of weeks later Finland won, with a screaming band (Lordi)

Moldova is the meme country (epic sax guy, door meme...

The UK gets voted last as a joke by the rest of Europe.

Euroviaion had a mascot in 1990, called Eurocat. Never saw that again.

Some of my favorite entries if you want to check them out

Hajde da Ludujemo by Tajči 1990

Tih dezeven dan by 1x band 1993

Nekonecna Piesen by Tublatanka 1994

Romeo by Ketil Stokkan 1986

My Star by Brainstorm 2000

Honestly I could go on and on about eurovision and I might send another ask in the morning about Eurovision, but its 3 am and I'm tired!

-Enis

Wow Enis! You really know a lot about it!! I’ll look at some of your favorites later. I’m excited! I can’t believe it has so much history. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom! 💖

[pileoflove]

🎶

so you can try to forget or say it's the past, you know you'll always end up right back where you left

it's not god but it's fear and it's politics, and a molotov that was lit with a dollar bill

nixon got the pimp hands when the beat slaps, make a bitch buckle down like boot straps and that’s that.

and i was screaming at my father, and you were screaming at me, and i can feel your anger from way across the sea

problem is that i talk too much (i talk too much). never just shut up, what the fuck? you suck the life out of everything you touch

[travesuras-de-la-gaga-mala]

11.02.2022.

23:22

Planiram sunce moje ovaj moj put za rođendan, dolazim sa mojom drugaricom i beskrajno se radujem da joj pokažem tvoj grad onako kako si mi ga ti pokazao, još dok smo gledali Scream for me: Sarajevo preko kamere. Posebno oko moje, kad bih te samo mogla zagrliti i ne puštati nikad, nikad...volim te.

I love you the mostest little baby tigeru.

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

After sharing your favourite parts from the VOGUE interview, I wonder, what you think about it.

I mean sure, we all love THAT picture and the interview had several great parts. And whilw it's getting lot of praise, it also gets a lot of backlash (at least on social media).

So what's your opinion about the cover, story and interview?

Yes, I saw the coverage praising the whole thing and I also mixed feedback on social media.

Personally I'm 90% happy with the whole thing. Here's why.

The Cover: I'm not entirely happy with the cover, because I don't like the styling. While I think it was a good decision to use almost no make-up and barely do a hairstyle and it was also good to choose neutral coloured clothes, I don't like the "smeared" look of the make-up and the top she's wearing. I understand what kind of picture they had in mind and I get why, but for me the whole styling screams a bit too much "war look", which is neither necessary nor good.

The Interview: Perfect. One of the best and strongest interviews from Olena. Also loved how they wrote it and what they covered. So, so, so many important parts.

The Story / Pictures: I'm going to take about the pics separately.

The Couple Pic: Fitting, styling perfect, very intimate, heartwarming and -touching. Perfect.

The Hand-Holding Pic: Same. (and her styling was better / was more fitting in this one even though she wears the same things). Like that they put him in the center of the attention in the pic. Also the small details in the background. He may look a little bit to grim / determined, but it's okay.

The President Compound Pic: I actually think the pic is okay, but stil have major problems with the styling, since it's the same from the cover. What I think is good is the fact they showed her in just sitting there, not posing or something like that.

The Airplane Pic: I don't like it. And I have MAJOR problems with it. Even though it screams "Female Power" and "Queen" and I get what they wanted to achieve...I still don't like it. Maybe I'm weird but I think using an actual war field as background is just...weird. And wrong. Especially if you stage it like that. I have no problem with using it as background in general if you do it in a right way (like Kalush used it as background for the music video). But here she is styled, is posing and the way the soldiers were placed.

Besides that: I have no problem with VOGUE in general. I know several people have issues with that but Vogue isn't just a fashion magazine. It's not the first time they actually cover important events / topics in their issues or give important people the cover story to raise awareness or give them a voice. And Vogue is also all about strong, modern women. And Olena is not the first First Lady. Michelle Obama or Jill Biden were also covered.

It also tells a lot that Annie Leibovitz was choosen to do the photos. Most people know her for her glamorous celeb portraits, but she has also covered more serious topics, for example the civil war in Sarajevo.

And in the end it's actually very fitting for a First Lady (!) to choose a high profile (fashion) magazine like Vogue to do a cover. Being First Lady is all about fashion (think about that whatever you want, but it's a fact). And, as Olena mentioned herself in the past, right know fashion is also not only a statement or just something to wear, but also part of culture and a sign to the world. A major and extremly important topic in a war that wants to extinct a whole culture, nation and population.