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ryanmarshallryan · 9 months ago

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Experimental Vore Study - another gay vore story by Ryan Marshall

Theo often wondered how or why he had developed his vore fetish. He was happy experiencing it but always thought it would be interesting to better understand what in his brain decided that getting swallowed whole was equal to prime sensual elation.

The perfect opportunity arose when he was referred to join a well paid scientific study relating to understanding the brain patterns of those experiencing sensual arousal in relation to various fetishes. After filling out some forms to verify he’d be a good candidate, and sending some of his self written vore stories for context of his fetish, he was invited to participate officially.

The first time Theo visited the facility for research testing, his experience focused on doing scans of his brain activity and other vitals while talking about his vore fetish, reading vore stories, and viewing photos and drawings depicting vore.

Theo expected to do a bit more of the same thing on his second time visiting, but was surprised when he was called into a new area. An attendant put a couple monitors on his body, but Theo wasn’t really paying attention to what they were doing as he could hear odd sounds coming from nearby. In one direction down a hallway he could hear what sounded like a whip, in another direction there were strange crunching noises. He thought he even heard sensual moaning. Were they having research participants arouse themselves or something?

Theo was so focused, trying to figure out what he was hearing he didn’t notice the head researcher standing in front of him, beaconing him to follow.

They entered a large brightly lit, entirely unfurnished room.

“We’ve been processing all of the tests we’ve run analyzing your brain and are ready to move on to the next phase of testing,” the researcher began, “Theo, I’d like you to meet your results,” he said, shifting his gaze over Theo’s shoulder.

Theo turned around to see an incredibly large and handsome man. The tall man had a wide face and square jawline, framed by his medium-short black hair, and adorned with bushy eye-brows, a stylish goatee and a remarkably large mouth. His shoulders relaxed backward, with his gargantuan gut ballooning out in front of him, looking as though it could fit a yoga ball if stretched out a bit. He had thick thighs, and Theo could tell by the black hairs sticking out between his shirt buttons that the man was also well covered in hair.

“Oh wow, you’re hot,” Theo whispered to himself, then realizing he had been staring at an unfamiliar man’s body for far too long, tried to catch himself, “Sorry, hi - I’m Theo, what is your name?”

Theo reached his hand forward and the man grasped it firmly and pulled Theo in incredibly close, reaching his other hand around Theo’s shoulder and whispering in his ear “I’m your fantasy.” The man smelled amazing too, as though he were wearing Theo’s favorite citrusy body spray.

Theo, though aroused, pushed backward and stumbled a few steps towards the head researcher. He looked back and forth and processed, saying “What do you mean meet my results?”

The researcher gestured towards the big handsome man in front of them and explained “We have developed a method of simulating a person’s sexual fantasies to see it play out in real time.”

“You hired an actor, to seduce me?” Theo looked puzzled from the big man to the researcher.

“I’m not an actor, I’m your sensual desires brought to life,” the man said.

“He’s not a real human, he’s a synthetic recreation imitating one’s behavior and body form, but with unique abilities to stimulate your specific sensual desires,” the researcher continued, as though this made all the sense in the world.

Theo looked again at the big man, “Well whoever you are, what’s your name?”

The big man smiled and pondered for a moment, “Let’s see… as I’ve gone back through your memories and feelings, there are so many names to choose from. Perhaps that gainer you dated a few years back? Or hmm… no what about that vore pred you used to roleplay with online? No… might as well be something generic then…. What about Brian?”

Theo stared at the big man, or Brian, in confusion. Had the researcher hired an actor and shared lots of personal data with him?

Brian, as if reading Theo’s mind continued, “Let me introduce myself beyond just a name. I, Brian, just started existing a couple days ago. I’m loaded with information about your interests and sensual desires, and that helps me better help play out your fantasies in reality. I thought maybe we could start with a feeding session, and then I’ll swallow you down for real.”

“Swallow me down for real? I’m sorry I don’t know if I’m comfortable roleplaying with a random actor I just met, I usually like to roleplay with people who are into vore aswell -” Theo started saying.

“Oh, don’t worry, He is literally created for your pleasure. So eating you is perhaps his only interest right now,” the researcher began, “he’s basically a not-human man-eating garbage disposal, who is only hungry for you.”

“Excuse me” Brian began, somewhat offended, “I am more than just a human garbage disposal… I also have a really cute butt!”

It was true, Brian did have an incredibly aesthetically pleasing butt.

“I can see our boy, Theo, here isn’t believing that I’m really what I say I am, so how about a demonstration,” Brian remarked. As Brian began walking forward, Theo reflexively moved out of the way, not sure if this strange man was about to attempt to eat him. But to Theo’s surprise, Theo was never the intended target.

Brian took the clipboard out of the researcher's hand and tossed it to the side, “You won’t need that where you’re going.” The researcher’s eyes widened as Brian lifted him off his feet and pulled him towards his now gaping maw. Brian didn’t waste any time with the stunned researcher, lubricating the researcher’s face with saliva, and swallowing hard, pulling the researcher’s entire upper body into his throat in mere moments. Theo, as shocked as the researcher, reflexively reached out his arms as if to help the researcher, and then noticed he was getting a bit hard.

Brian swallowed again and again, and the researcher fairly quickly got sucked down his throat. Brian’s shirt buttons were exploding off his shirt one by one and landing across the room. Theo watched as Brian swiftly untied the researcher’s shoes and ripped them off. Theo blinked and the researcher was entirely out of view. Brian’s stomach was indeed massive, that fleshy yoga ball was stretched and taught.

Brian gave a great big belch and turned to Theo, “Now what do you say? I’m still pretty hungry. Maybe you could feed me some snacks from that buffet over there.” Brian turned and gestured behind him. Theo glanced and noticed that the once empty room now had an entire table adorned with steaming hot dinners, drinks that looked remarkably like gainer shakes, chocolates and sweets, and more.

“How did that get there?” Theo exclaimed, “And how did you - ? Is the researcher all right?”

Brian approached Theo and patted his meaty hand on Theo’s back, “I told you, I am equipped to provide anything that will aid to your sexual fantasy, like food for you to feed me.” Brian guided Theo towards the table as Theo processed what just happened.

“You just summoned a table of food out of thin air? And the researcher -” Theo continued, stopping in his tracks to turn and face Brian, placing both hands on either side of Brian’s gut and jiggling it. Brian’s gut, or more likely the researcher, responded with wiggling and muffled noises of confusion.

“Well obviously. I’m hungry. I wanted food. Food appears. There you go - and don’t worry about my old creator, he’ll be fat - I mean fine… he’ll be fine,” Brian explained with a warm smile, interrupted by a belch in Theo’s face that warmed his whole body.

“So you’re magic or something?”

“Magic is only science not yet understood by the masses, is it not?”

There was a moment of silence and awe as Theo stared at Brian, his squirming belly full of another human being, and the table of food.

Brian handed Theo a plate, “I may provide the experience for the ultimate fantasy, mate, but you gotta participate for this to work. C’mon fill ‘er up and get this food in my belly!”

Theo took the plate and turned to the food, continuing to stare in mild confusion. Brian shook him out of his daze, literally by gut checking Theo, bouncing his belly against his side and knocking him off balance for a moment, “C’mon then, or I’ll have to skip the feeding session and eat you right now.”

Theo caught his balance and began piling food onto a plate, mashed potatoes, baked chicken, penne and turkey meatballs, and assorted cheeses. “You can’t eat me! Not - well, I mean it’d be hot for sure - but it’s a fantasy - like what are the mechanics of this, like is the researcher being digested?”

Brian slid his warm hands onto Theo’s side and pushed his belly up into Theo’s back a bit, dropping his voice low to say “Only if you want me too… I know the stories you’ve written…” Brian’s mouth was so close to Theo’s ear now, Theo could feel his hot breath down his neck and shivered, feeling like in a split second he could be gliding down that gullet if he wasn’t careful. “You want me to digest you, don’t you, Theo.”

“I never said that,” Theo turned abruptly, reaching up and pulling slightly on Brian’s goatee for him to open his mouth, and using the other hand to tilt the plate piled with a feast inside. “Start with this before you try to eat me. We’ve got to discuss things first. Sure I’ve written lots of vore stories with digestion… but I’m always around to write another one, so maybe I’m into reformation? I don’t know - but in the real world I’d probably like something safer. You know? Like maybe you should fill up on bread before I go in to neutralize stomach acid and let me out later?”

Brian swallowed the pile of food in his maw, and smiled, “Fill up on bread before you go in? Sounds like you know you’re going in then… how about… I'll fill up on you first!” Brian knocked the plate out of Theo’s hand, grabbed his shirt, rent it open, and leaned forward to give a great long lick with his tongue from Theo’s belly button up to his face.

“Oh my!” Theo exclaimed, shivering again in arousal, as Brian was undoing both of their belts, and pulling their shirts off.

Brian pushed Theo up against the table with his belly, mashing Theo against some warm gravy and mashed potatoes that were now stuck to his back. Theo felt the massive weight of the man pinning him and knew he had to think quick to delay Brian, who had shoved Theo’s face in between his nipples and was scooping mashed potatoes of Theo’s back and eating them and moaning.

“Yurgh knor whergh aia wangh!” Theo shouted.

Brian pulled back abruptly and playfully, “You want me to eat you right now and digest you into belly fat? That’s what I thought I heard - all right, in you go!” Brian said all of this very fast, while putting a hand on the back of Theo’s head and shoving it into his mouth against his tongue.

Putting swiftly lifted a finger into the air in front of Brian’s field of view, and waved it scoldingly at Brian.

“All right, all right, you’ve got my attention,” Brian said reluctantly, folding his arms and resting them with a “hmph” onto his belly shelf, which squirmed, gurgled loudly and kicked at him.

“Okay so you know my favorite vore fantasies then? Well you’re missing two very important factors. You think you’re all that, Mr. Omniscient Vore Genie? You’re not even arousing me correctly,” Theo taunted.

Brian melted into a sarcastic smile, but focused eyes rapt with attention and hears ready for feedback.

“One. I’m more of a fan of one on one, usually romantic vore. Maybe I’m selfish, but I want the whole house to myself if you know what I mean. Plus I don’t think the researcher really wanted to be in there and you know consent is the sexiest.”

Brian sighed knowingly, “All right, I suppose I could let him go… After all, you are the reason for my existence, Theo. I suppose I have a soft spot for you.” Brian poked his belly slowly showing how soft his belly fat was. He waited, intently watching Theo for a reaction.

“Nice pun, but I’mma need you to actually let him go please… before he digests,” Theo stated, seriously.

“Anything to get you in here, Theo,” Brian replied, lifting his fingers up and snapping forcefully into the air. Theo blinked and noticed Brian’s belly almost deflated a bit, and behind Brian, back by the door, the researcher appeared out of thin air on the ground, soaked in saliva and remnants of some of the food Brian had just eaten.

The researcher stood up abruptly, then slipped on some mashed potato. Brian turned around and snapped his fingers again. Just like magic, the door to the room swung open and the researcher was blown out into the hallway like he had been struck by a sudden gust of wind. The door swung closed and locked itself.

Brian turned back to Theo, as his gut rumbled in protest at how suddenly empty it felt. Brian looked back and forth between Theo and his growling belly, “C’mon man, how can you deny such a mournful cry from such a beautiful belly? Don’t you have any empathy for it? All my stomach wants is to knead your soft skin, warm you up in it’s fleshy hot tub, squeeze and embrace your sexy curves, and brutally digest you and melt you into belly fat. Is that so much to ask?”

Theo lifted his eyebrows. “... Yes.”

“Okay…” Brian said with a downward inflection signaling disappointment, strolling over to the table lined with food. He began grabbing handfuls of cheese and crackers and throwing them back into his mouth and swallowing them all whole, “If you’re sure…” He picked up a large casserole dish and proceeded to drop the entirety of it’s contents down his throat without even motioning a swallow. “I guess I’ll just have to fill the void in my stomach with normal, boring food…” He started juggling buttered corn cobs, then one by one tossing them down his gullet, sliding easily into his belly, “Since you’re too afraid to live out your ultimate vore fantasy,” with this final verbal jab at Theo he picked up a comically large spread of pizza, rolled it into a ball and shoved it into his mouth, choked a bit, then pushed it in with his hand. Theo watched the large pizza ball distend Brian’s neck and chest until resting, gurgling and stewing inside Brian’s massive paunch.

Brian turned to Theo, getting close and belched in his face once more, this time leaving his mouth wide open for Theo to see inside. It was impressive not seeing a single piece of food left inside his mouth.

“You still haven’t cracked the code to eating me yet,” Theo said, placing one hand on his hip, and the other, tauntingly prodding the giant’s belly in front of him.

Brian rolled his eyes, then did a funny motion like he was a robot malfunctioning. “Does not compute! Does not compute!” he said in a funny, droning voice. He switched back to normal “Only joking, I’m not a robot… I’m not a human either though. Well you know, actually I suppose you don’t, but ugh come on!” Brian in his frustration picked up a pitcher of gainer shake and chugged the whole thing in one gulp. He picked up a box of melted ice cream and chugged that as well.

“I can’t believe you still haven’t figured it out. What’s my favorite food? What’s my favorite roleplay fantasy?” Theo urged Brian on. Brian looked stumped. His stomach seemed to lurch and groan more than normal, almost as if his stomach knew before he did.

“Oh come on, I only know everything about you, how am I supposed to know what you -” Brian paused and Theo could’ve sworn a literal light bulb seemed to go off in the back of Brian’s throat. “Ice cream.”

“Now you’re getting somewhere.”

“You love ice cream. And you love to imagine a pred covering you in ice cream, warming you with their tongue as they taste you and can’t get enough so they eat you!” Brian fist pumped into the air, lunged forward and pulled Theo into a great embrace and began dancing around the room with him chanting and repeating in a low sing-song voice “Covered in ice cream, I’m gonna eat you, this ain’t a vore dream, you’re nothing but food!”

They tripped over themselves, laughing as Brian fell onto his back and Theo flopped onto his belly and jostled around on top for a few moments.

“Well, I’m not just food, but I appreciate the flirtatious sentiment,” Theo mentioned.

“So you ready?” Brian said, raising his eyebrows in excited hopefulness. Theo smirked and nodded.

Theo was still laying on top of Brian’s belling and smiling at his face, so he was quite surprised when Brian reached his arm out and grabbed a tub of cookie dough ice cream out of no where.

“Where did that come from?” Theo asked in awe.

“Doesn’t matter where it came from, only matters where it’s going. Where you are going,” Brian said licking some ice cream off his fingers, then grabbing a chilly handful and dropping it on Theo’s skin.

Theo rolled off Brian as he shivered with the funny sensation of the cold ice cream on his skin.

“Oh no! Are you cold? Let me fix that for you,” Brian said playfully, licking up ice cream off of Theo’s chest, while simultaneously scooping more ice cream onto all parts of Theo’s body. Theo laughed as he got tickled, and moaned at moments of sensual pleasure. Brian licked all the way down to Theo’s toes, and remarked “You know, this ice cream tastes good, but you taste better.” Brian slipped Theo’s toes in his mouth and sucked them into his throat, moaning to show agreeable taste.

Theo continued to laugh, as Brian worked his way up Theo’s legs moaning and groaning in hunger and approval like he was eating for the first time in a week. As Brian got to Theo’s hard on, he put extra pressure to knead the member with his throat, and squeeze Theo’s balls tightly in his esophagus. Brian reached his hands forward and massaged Theo’s chest and nipples, working his hands down to grab Theo’s hands and slide them into his mouth alongside Theo’s waist.

“What is happening?” Theo remarked in awe and ecstasy as he felt himself reaching climax elation. Theo’s body writhed and relaxed as Brian pulled his entire torso into his maw. Theo felt his feet plunge into a whole stew of partially digested buffet foods, and kicked around, surprised at how roomy everything was inside. Brian jerked his head back a bit to coax Theo’s shoulders past his jaw, then paused for a moment, tasting Theo’s neck and looking one last time into Theo’s eyes. Brian smiled with his eyes and did one final swallow, sending Theo completely into his fleshy dome of dinner soup.

Theo panted and felt around his surroundings, feeling the clammy walls of Brian’s stomach, growling and creaking as it reacted to his touch. He felt a sudden jostle and knew Brian had slapped his gut and was now rubbing and caressing it from the outside. Theo could see a faintly dark outline of Brian’s massive hands rubbing back and forth against the red tinted light faintly emitting through Brian’s many layers of stomach muscle and fat.

Brian jostled his belly, and Theo rolled around inside, getting comfortable and feeling the stomach walls tighten and release around him, like a strange fleshy hug. So this is what vore really felt like. He could feel his skin tingling a little bit, but with all of the other food inside the gut, the stomach acid was quite diluted and he felt fine.

“Brian! So what happens next? Are you gonna snap me out of here before I get digested? Like the researcher guy? Or have you decided to turn me into belly fat?” Theo called from within.

“What do you think? This is your fantasy experience, remember?” Brian replied, giving a great big belch and throwing his arms around his belly and hugging Theo tightly, “I’m made for your fantasy, bud.”

“I’m thinking…”

#male vore #gayvore #m/m vore #gay vore #fat #gay gainer #scifi

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fatfables · 9 months ago

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New Story! - Fat Boys in Space!

“I can’t believe it. I can’t believe they chose me! After all the hard work I’ve put in, I’ve finally made it!”

Shane had good reason to be ecstatic. He had been dreaming of this since he was seven years old. For the last twelve years he had done nothing but sit around snacking and playing simulated games in his room. He always did his best to consume the minimum daily calories, he had skipped school, given up all sports, sat on his ass, and eaten his way to success. He had done everything required of him to become a test pilot and had actually been chosen out of thousands of wannabe Surfeits to represent the Surplus Space Core. His parents were delighted.

The day before he left for Florida his friends threw him a surprise party. The whole town of Abundance, Oklahoma, population 136, came out to celebrate with him. All of his best friends were there; ‘Chonky’ Charlie Cheesecake, ‘Meaty’ Mike Mitchell, ‘Flabby’ Francis France, and ‘Portly’ Paul Porter. The whole gang was there. They were all super stoked for their friend but also incredibly jealous.

“I can’t mmfff believe that you got mmff picked,” Chonky said through a mouthful of Cadbury’s Chocolate Roll.

“What did you mmff do that’s so mmff fucking special?” Asked Meaty through a mouthful of meatloaf.

“He mmff did fucking mmff nothing. He just mmff got mmff lucky,” said Flabby through a mouthful of sour Kimchi.

“I mmff guess they mmff just appreciated mmff just how mmff fat and mmff lazy I’ve mmff been,” said Shane through a massive mouthful of mmff meatballs.

“He is mmff the laziest mmff kid in mmff Abundance,” said Chonky supportively through another mouthful of Chocolate Roll.

The other boys were forced to nod in agreement. All of their mouths were too full to speak.

All of them had been born into the Abundance community within the last twenty years and took their mmff lifestyle for granted. Their parents, or their grandparents, had at some point chosen to join the Surplus, they knew no different.

Life for them was all pizzas and parties. None of them knew when or where the Surplus movement had started and none of them cared to ask. Life was too much fun, too fulfilling. Everything tasted too good to question why. All they knew to do was play simulated games and eat. What else was there?

All of the adults in Abundance were at least 300 lbs and most of the kids were fatter. Especially the teens. Afterall, every parent wants their kid to have a better life than they’ve had. This was the Surplus way.

Shane was 332 lbs and 5 ft 10 in tall. He had short brown hair, parted on the left, and big chubby chipmunk cheeks to match his wide oval belly. He had always been a contented and happy boy, who never wanted for anything - except to go into space. His loving parents had always doted on their only child and had always supplied him with all the food he could ever need. They were so proud of their ‘Sugarplum boy.’ And now he had been selected to represent their kind in the race to find a new home.

The dream of building a moon base where the Surplus could live comfortably and grow to as of yet unachievable sizes in a lower gravity atmosphere had been out of reach for the last three generations due to the financial efforts required for such a mission. Now after the government purchase of the McDonald’s corporation the money was finally in place to actually do it. And Shane had been chosen.

As the guest of honour at the party Shane was expected to consume more than any other person there. Outeating the other 135 members of his town was a challenge that he was relishing. He had long been able to out eat his parents, a source of pride for them, and his friends, although they hated to admit this. However, there were one or two locals there who made him very nervous. The main one was an older boy called Dave Domycket. Dave was a lot heavier than Shane though also quite muscular. He had bought into the gluttony of his parents lifestyle but had never quite got to grips with the sedentary nature of it. He had always been full of energy and hence moved too much. This is why he had not been chosen. He really needed some Ritalin with his ramen.

Shane shouldn’t have worried, ‘Chonky’ Charlie had him covered. He had spent the last two hours filling the hyperactive twenty something with beer. Dave was too drunk and bloated to pose a threat. Being unaware of this Shane ate with gusto. He gobbled down gammon and gravy, pigged out on pork, and stuffed himself silly with spaghetti. His rotund belly swelled and he went to bed that night safe in the knowledge that he would turn up in Florida the next day as fat as a ball of butter.

Corpulent Chuck met him the next day at the gates to the base.

“My you are shorter than your weight is designed for aren’t you!” He said as he welcomed Shane with a big bear hug. “I’m sorry that the Captain isn’t here to meet you himself but he couldn’t be bothered. He’s in his room eating pure bacon and playing simulated Restaurant Owner 5.”

“No problem,” said Shane, “I’m sure he’s not a very busy man.”

Corpulent Chuck showed Shane around the base. It generally went like this:

“This is the mmff human mmff centrifuge. We probably mmff won’t worry about mmff putting you in that.”

“This is the mmff vending machine by the mmff centrifuge. Would you like an mmff Snickers?”

“Yes please.”

“This is the mmff anti-gravity rig. We mmff don’t need to mmff concern ourselves about mmff that.”

“This is the mmff vending machine by the mmff anti-mmff-gravity thingamajig. Would you like another mmff Snickers?”

“Thank you.”

“This is the mmff control centre. I probably should mmff introduce you to the the mmff people in there but over here is the mmff canteen shall we get some mmff lunch?”

“Yes please. I’m starving!”

The two of them sat down to a light lunch of twenty six cheeseburgers. While they munched, Corpulent Chuck explained the nature of the mission to Shane in more detail. I’ll paraphrase it for you so that it goes mmff quicker.

The basic Surplus moonbase is already in place but is currently unmanned due to an incident that Corpulent Chuck can’t divulge. Shane’s job is to fly up there solo to check out the base in order to ensure that it’s safe for habitation. He won’t need any special training for this because if it isn’t then he will die. They will then know that there is a problem that hasn’t gone away. If it is safe, then all he has to do is call them from the base and they’ll send another team up to join him. Simple.

Shane smiled and nodded in agreement, like he understood, because he wasn’t listening. He was too busy eating his cheeseburgers and watching his stomach grow like a good boy.

The next day he was dressed up in a spacesuit, shoved into a rocket, shown where the food dispenser was, and told that the autopilot would take care of everything.

The G-force during take-off was like nothing he had ever experienced before. His heavy 48 inch ass was flattened out as he was pushed down into his chair. His belly sank down to his knees and splayed out over his thighs like a tablecloth. His moobs pressed down into his chest like an elephant was sitting on them and his chubby chipmunk cheeks jiggled around at a fantastic speed. He had never felt so heavy. He loved it. It was like he had suddenly become a hundred times heavier. Space really was a dream come true. I never knew that zero gravity would feel this good, he thought.

He really hadn’t been to school in the last five years.

After a few minutes the force began to lessen as the rocket left the Earth's atmosphere behind. After ten minutes a big sign lit up telling him that it was safe to remove his seatbelt.

He was shocked and amazed when his huge 338 lb ass floated up out of the seat. For a moment he was caught up in a mild panic as he just floated aimlessly around the cabin bumping into instruments. But he quickly got used to it and remembered about the food dispenser.

Having never been swimming it took him a few more moments to realise that he needed to move his arms in order to propel himself in the direction that he wanted to go. Nobody had warned him that he would be required to exercise. He swam ungracefully through the air banging his belly and butt into everything along the way. One machine buzzed at him when he did so but he didn’t worry about it.

When he reached the food dispenser he tried to browse the touchscreen menu in order to select the McDonald’s items on offer in space. This proved to be difficult due to the thick gloves that he was wearing on his fat hands. He bashed his fat fingers against the screen in frustration and by sheer chance and will power managed to order thirty two Big Macs, seventeen quarter pounders, ninety two nuggets, twenty six strawberry milkshakes, and a hundred and twelve portions of fries. He really wanted some standard cheeseburgers as well but couldn’t seem to manage it, no matter how many times he bashed his fat palm against the menu.

He punched the screen in frustration. There was a loud whirring sound and thirty two Big Macs, seventeen quarter pounders, ninety two nuggets, twenty six strawberry milkshakes, and a hundred and twelve portions of fries were fired out of a dispensing hatch straight at him.

The shock of this caused him to fly a few feet backwards and he bashed into another machine that clicked and clunked. He looked around him at all the tasty floating meaty treats and wondered how in hell he was supposed to eat any of it with this stupid helmet on.

In the cockpit a screen was flashing telling him that the oxygen level was in standard parameters and that it was safe to remove his suit and helmet.

He screamed in hangry frustration and once more flew backwards, this time onto a remote latch with a red warning light on it. The light flashed behind him and the emergency door opened. His bulging ass, thirty two Big Macs, seventeen quarter pounders, ninety two nuggets, twenty six strawberry milkshakes, and a hundred and twelve portions of fries were sucked out into the vacuum of space.

“I need to talk to KOFC. There’s been another incident.”

“Please wait a minute. I’ll try to connect you.”

“Hello Mr President Sir, this is Captain Crunch. We’ve lost another one.”

“Oh for mmff’s sake! You useless fucking mmff piece of mmff shit! Do you have any fucking mmff idea how much these fucking mmff rockets mmff cost?!”

“Apologies, Sir. Yes, I do, Sir.”

“What the fuck happened this mmff time?”

“Emergency door malfunction.”

“And the mmff pilot?”

“Dead Sir.”

“Oh well, Just chose another fucking mmff one. At least we’ve got plenty of mmff them!”

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