#school is killing me and then i had surgery and all of this stupid stuff LOL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cevans16 · 4 years ago

Text

I Could Not Live Without You

Summary: Bucky almost loses you on a mission

Sorry this is a long one! Lots of fluffiness though :)

You and Thor were sitting in the back of the conference room horsing around with a thumb war.

“You’re such a cheater” you discreetly yelled at him.

“You are mad that I am winning little one” he teased you

“Little one?! Should I demonstrate that I am a strong demigod just as you!” you yelled a bit louder

“Thor, (Y/N)! Keep it down!” Steve yelled over to you two. You received dirty looks from the rest of the crew until you finally calmed down only for you and Thor to start messing around again.

“(Y/N) if you don’t listen so help me-” Tony was the one to yell at you this time. You looked up at him to be met by a stern expression from the genius man. Tony and Thor were your best friends so getting a certain look from either one of them would calm you down

“Sorry Tony” you whispered back to him.

“As we were saying - for this mission it will be Thor, Sam, (Y/N) and Bucky” Tony listed the names causing you to groan at the last one

“Is there a problem?” Tony asked

“Yes, HIM” you replied motioning to Bucky. Since you two met, Bucky was never nice to you, he either ignored you or always had to critic something about you.

“Well, Wanda and Vision are on their honeymoon so I see this as a team bonding exercise since you two can’t seem to get along” Tony peered at you.

“I get along with everyone else, he seems to have a problem with me” you replied.

“Come on doll, it’s one mission, if I can tolerate you everyday, I’m sure you can tolerate me for a few” he said winking at you causing you to roll your eyes back.

“Whatever are we done here” you said getting up from your seat to start packing.

-----------------------------------------------------

You were settling yourself inside the quinjet, you and Thor were the demigods so you were practically there as an extra asset for Sam and Bucky.

“Want some cashews?” Bucky offered you, you rolled your eyes at him again.

“No thanks” you said walking away from him to sit next to Thor.

“You know both and I don’t know much about Midgard however I think he likes you” Thor said winking at you

“Please don’t” you quickly replied to his comment

“Ohhh but I know you DO like him, Stark said so himself” at that you scoffed.

“What! No! Damn you Tony, what did he say?” you asked Thor narrowing your eyes at him.

“I overheard you and Stark speaking about him” he said motioning over to Bucky. You remembered that day perfectly.

“I think you have a thing for him, don’t you (Y/N)?” Tony picked on you

“NO! He’s rude, a know-it-all and gosh that stupid long hair needs to be chopped off” you quickly replied defensively while fixing a nanotech knife you had built with Tony.

You turned around to look at Tony who was raising one of his eyebrows at you with a smirk slapped on his face.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing” he chuckled

“I think Manchurian Candidate has a crush on you too but I could be wrong---actually I am never wrong” he continued.

“What do you mean?” you asked curiously

“Well for starters, its like in elementary school, boy likes girl but wants to seem cool so he picks on the said girl which in this case is you” he said poking you with one of his tools

“You don’t see it but he always looks over at you when you are not looking, asks where you are when you are not around, that sort of stuff” Tony explained.

“I mean maybe you two should give it a shot” he shrugged

“Not in a million years Tony” you said walking out of the lab, only to bump into Bucky himself

“He’s never been nice to me so why should I do the same” you told Thor.

Thor didn’t say anything, you and him leaned back against the wall to take a quick nap before arriving to your destination.

------------------------------------------------------

“Hey....we’re two minutes out so suit up” Sam said shaking you out of your sleep gently

“Thank you Sam” you said getting up from your seat to grab your equipment

You grabbed two small pistols placing them on each thigh holster, your earpiece from Sam, you placed your sword behind your back and picked up a rifle to head on out.

“Are you sure you can handle that?” Bucky teased you

“I can handle more than that Barnes” you sternly replied

“That she can Bucky, don’t forget she’s a demigod” Sam said, “I do have to ask though, where did you learn to shoot because I’m sure there aren’t guns on your world” he asked

“Well I train profusely with Nat so I think I’m pretty set in having the best teacher you can get” you explained, Sam nodded walking out the quinjet to lead the way.

“Okay, on my lead, Buck and (Y/N) you go left, Thor and I will head to the right on my signal.....go” Sam led away

“You have my six right?” Bucky asked you

“No shit, you’re part of the team” you replied, the genuine comment surprising Bucky

“Plus I don’t want to deal with Steve’s reaction if you were to be gone forever” you added

Well that was too good to be true Bucky thought to himself.

You were both deep inside the building where there was Sokovian evidence about new mutants

You were beside Bucky when you heard a loud gunshot, immediately reacting quicker than Bucky due to your demigod senses, you pushed Bucky out of the way causing you both to fall down to the first level, you felt your left arm break. A bullet had hit you on your left rib, without hesitation you shot back to where the bullet had come from, you had great aim killing the suspect instantly.

You felt pain, worse than what a normal gun shot would feel like. When you took out the bullet to saw that it was Sokovian made, this bullet was different you thought to yourself, this wasn’t going to kill you but you knew it could’ve killed a human being. You felt yourself drifting away into a deep slumber, you could hear Bucky yelling for you.

He got up slowly from the nasty fall, made sure the coast was clear, he then knelt down next to you placing you onto his lap.

“No no, (Y/N) WAKE UP! WAKE UP!” he yelled over at you repeatedly.

You looked up at him giving him a soft smile, “Give this.... to... Wanda, she’ll know” you tried your best to speak and then it all went pitch black.

“Bucky! (Y/N)! You guys okay?” Sam yelled over the earpiece

“I’m okay.....(Y/N) has been hit, she’s...down” Bucky said in disbelief, he couldn’t believe the girl he was in love with was dead and he never got the chance to tell you how he felt about you.

He picked you up cautiously, walking back to the quinjet sadly.

Thor was the first one to look at you, he looked over your wound, opening your vest open. “She’s not dead but we need to take her back quickly” he said to Sam and Bucky

Sam nodded heading to the pilot chair to fly you all back home.

Bucky tried not to cry but his tears betrayed him

“She pushed me out of the way” he sniffed

Thor placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder to calm him down, “She would have done it for anyone, it’s not your fault” he said sitting down next to him

“I never told her how I felt about her” Bucky whispered

Thor smiled at the sound of him saying that, “I knew it” he teased Bucky

“I’m sure everyone did except her, I was an idiot in not showing it in the correct way” he explained

“She’s not dead Bucky” Thor said.

“How do you know?” he asked

“Well for one, I can hear her heartbeat, it’s very faint. And I’d know if I have lost a best friend” Thor explained.

The rest of the flight back home was quiet.

--------------------------------------------

“Let me see her!” Tony yelled running over to you.

“She’s not dead Stark but we need to check on her wounds, it’s the one on her left rib and she has a broken left arm” Thor explained

“I called Dr. Cho, she should be here soon” Tony nodded at Thor

Tony looked at you, you looked peacefully asleep, he had felt his heart drop when he heard about you. He couldn’t lose his best friend. He wiped away a tear before pushing you over to the emergency room. Bucky followed quickly behind.

“Barnes you can’t be here” Tony said to him

“I’m not leaving her Stark” he replied firmly. Tony looked over at him, eyeing him up and down, he knew it, he knew Bucky liked you. He would save the teasing for another time though, first he had to save his best friend.

“She also said to give this to Wanda, that she would know” Bucky said handing over the bullet you had placed in his hands.

Tony looked over at the delicate item, how did something so small take down a demigod like you.

“I’ll call Wanda once (Y/N) is out of the emergency room” Tony confirmed.

After what felt like forever, Dr. Helen Cho finally arrived, she looked over at you, replicating your own cells to heal the wound on your rib, it wouldn’t look the same but it was enough to stabilize you. Once she was done with surgery, they wheeled you to the recovery room.

“She looks like she’s asleep peacefully” Nat sniffed looking at you.

“Yeah she does, how did it go wrong?” Steve asked

“She took the bullet for Barnes” Nat said, this surprised Steve, he in fact thought that you hated Bucky but he was very appreciative that you would protect his own best friend as if he were yours.

“Don’t look so surprised Steve, she would do this for anyone of us. Besides she has a soft spot for Barnes” Nat smirked

“That I have heard” Steve chuckled.

“Will you two shut up, I feel bad enough as it it” Bucky interjected

They stood there a little bit longer, Nat and Steve headed out, Nat stopped by Bucky, “You should get cleaned up Barnes, it’ll take a while”

“I’m not leaving until Wanda gets here” he replied, with that Nat left Bucky alone with you.

----------------------------------------------------------

Wanda and Vis had to cut their honeymoon short

“I’m sorry Wanda but (Y/N) told Bucky about the bullet that hit her, Banner and I have been trying to figure it out but-- I wouldn’t ask you to come back if it wasn’t serious...this is my best friend” Tony choked out at the end.

“Tony....don’t worry, Vis and I understand, we are heading back , I have a clue on what that bullet could be” she replied calming Tony down over the phone.

-------------------------------------------------------

Nat and Maria were visiting you again, Maria hadn’t seen you until now.

“She looks like a sleeping beauty doesn’t she” Nat said, “even with all the debris....maybe we should clean her up, I know she would flip if she saw how dirty she was” Nat laughed at the thought of you

“You’re right, hey Barnes, you have to walk out” Maria ordered him

“I’m not lea-”

“You have to leave, wait outside for Gods sake, take a shower, she is in good hands and she needs privacy while we clean her up” Nat said

“Fine” Bucky got up from the chair next to you, giving the girls a stinky eye. He quickly went to his room to shower. Although he wouldn’t admit it, the girls were right, he definitely needed a shower.

Once he was done he went over back to the room they had you in, Nat and Maria were quick to clean you up. Your hair was brushed back, it smelled like subtle lavender, your face was clean and makeup free however your long eyelashes still stood out to him, your clothes were changed. Nat was right, you looked like a sleeping beauty, it hurt his heart though to see you this way.

Bucky sat down next to you again, Nat handed him a tray with food.

“I know you haven’t ate so here” she said before walking out the door.

--------------------------------------------------------

Throughout the next few days, everyone else came in to check on you while they weren’t on missions. Thor and Tony checked on you the most, Bucky never left your side unless it was to shower. He felt a sigh of relief when he saw Wanda come inside the room.

“How is she?” Wanda asked looking over at you

“She’s been the same since” Bucky replied

“You look tired Bucky” she said to him, he replied with a faint smile.

“So what is it?” Tony asked her as he came inside the room followed by Thor.

“The bullet can kill any one of you except-” Wanda was going to explain

“Except demigods and mutants, they use these to knock them out however it sends you into a deep sleep, not a peaceful one though” Banner interjected, he was now followed by Steve, Nat and Clint who had been on leave with his family

“He’s correct” Wanda smiled at him, “Pietro and I never got hit by one of these thankfully”

“So if it’s not a peaceful sleep, why does she look like it is?” Clint asked, “Sorry, I got here as soon as I could”.

“Well it’s more of a battle within, whatever your worst fears are, your past that haunts you, it’s all alive in your sleep” Wanda said

“Oh god” Tony said, he knew what your past was, a traumatic one, you were reliving it and there was nothing they could do about it

“So how do we bring her back?” Bucky asked

“It’s not a how can we its when will she” Wanda said sadly, “I think I may be able to get into her head though, give her some kind of signal” she added

“Sure, it’s not like you haven’t done it before” Nat teased her

“Can you?” Steve asked, Wanda nodded closing her eyes as she placed her hand on your head gently.

Wanda saw your worst fears; losing Tony, Thor, losing anyone on the team. She saw your past; your dead family, dead friends, everything. She backed out of your head immediately, trying to suppress a cry.

“Honey, it’s okay” Vision soothed her

“She’s going through hell....I have to bring her back” she said, walking over to you again.

This time she was able to contact you, “(Y/N) you have to wake up, this isn’t real” she explained to you in your dream.

“I can’t yet Wanda I have to finish this mission” you replied

“There is no mission, you’re in a dream”

“NO.....Tony is gone and I couldn’t save him” you cried out

“It’s a dream....come back to us” Wanda pleaded

“I will Wanda, when I am done here, I will” you said

Wanda was brought back to reality.

“She’s not ready yet” she said walking out of the room, “she will wake when she is”.

----------------------------------------------------

It had been over a month since you were out, everyday the team had a routine to check on you, Bucky never left.

He was observing you, your eyelashes, he was deep into your face that he didn’t realize you had opened your eyes.

“(Y/N)?!” he yelped

You looked back at him, fluttering your eyes slowly, sensitive to the light. Then you sat up fast looking over to Bucky, your face in panic.

“Where’s Tony?!” you yelled

“He’s with Pepper” Bucky stammered still recovering from you being suddenly awake

“Don’t bullshit me Barnes, is he alive?!” you said

“Yes! Why would I lie about that, I’ll call him” he said quickly getting his phone out to dial Tony

“She’s awake” was all he said before hanging up

He leaned closer to you, squeezing your hand, “Honey” he said to you

You scoffed at the nickname, “Who are you and what have you done to James Buchanan Barnes?” you asked curiously

Bucky laughed, he slipped at the nickname, “I’m sorry (Y/N)”

After five minutes Tony came into the room, you looked up at him, feeling your breathing come back to normal to see that Bucky wasn’t lying to you.

“Tony” you choked out pulling him in for a tight hug. You felt your tears fall down your face, you were happy to be back after the nightmares you were dreaming of.

“I dreamt you were gone and there was nothing I could do and it was so awful” you sobbed into his shoulder. Tony soothed you, rubbing your back softly.

“There there, look you are snotting all over my shirt so obviously I am not dead” he joked causing you to laugh. Bucky had missed that laugh more than anything.

“It was so horrible” you said looking back to him

“I know, Wanda explained to us” he replied, “I’m glad to have you back” he said pulling you in for a hug this time

“You know I mainly missed you wanting to kill this one all the time” he said motioning over to Bucky, “Thor and I were here a lot but this one never left your side” he said giving you a kiss on your forehead, “I’ll let the team know you’re awake, Morgan has been dying to see you but we chose it was best for her not to see you in this state, calm down, I’m in one piece” he said heading out.

You were still crying, so many emotions were all over the place.

“I’m sorry about this” Bucky said

“What? No this isn’t your fault Bucky” you said

Bucky’s breath hitched at you calling him Bucky, you had never called him that.

“I would do it again if I had to” you added, giving him a small smile.

“She’s BACK!” Thor came in yelling with a bouquet of flowers, “I missed you so much, we have so much to catch up on!”

“How long have I been out for?” you asked afraid to know the answer

“Over a month” Thor said

Each Avenger came in to greet you back to reality. Every single one giving you the strongest hug you had ever received from any of them. Somehow they also each seemed to mention that Bucky had always been there beside you, that was odd to you but you thought back to what Tony and Thor had said, it couldn’t be though.

“Auntie (Y/N)!!!” Morgan yelled throwing herself onto you, Pepper and Tony were quick to scold her

“It’s okay.....I’m okay guys, I missed you baby Stark” you chuckled at her excitement giving her a kiss on her head, “are you ready for our monthly date, rumor is we are backed up on two now” you said, Morgan nodded as her smile grew bigger.

Bucky loved how you were always extra gentle with Morgan, he loved seeing you with kids, you were like a magnet to them.

-----------------------------------

The nightmares came every other night, even though you were out for a month you didn’t feel rested.

You showed up late to your first meeting, apologizing profusely for doing so, everyone was extremely understanding since the word had spread that you were still recovering.

You were dazing in and out of the briefing, looking over at Thor to your right who would always give you a smile. After the meeting was finally over you asked him, “Hey so baby Stark and I are going to our usual, want to come?” you asked

“I would love to but Jane and I have plans” he said, “but I can cancel them”

“No no don’t do that....you and Jane are back! That’s amazing Thor” you genuinely said, you knew how in love he had been with her.

“(Y/N) can I talk to you?” you heard Steve call you

You nodded at him, “Tell me everything once I’m done” you said to Thor.

“Hey Steve, I’m sorry again about being late I’m-”

“Don’t worry I’m not here to scold you, actually I want to thank you for saving Bucky’s life. That could’ve killed him” he said sadly at the end.

You pulled Steve in for a hug, “I would do it again if I had to Rogers, I would like to think that someone would save my best friend too” you said.

“I gotta go, baby Stark is waiting for me” you smiled

“Usual hangout for you two?” he asked smiling

“Yep, I’ve been away for too long” you walked away to get ready with Morgan

-----------------------------------------------------

You were saying goodbye to Tony and Pepper while you and Morgan headed out the compound. You bumped into Bucky, to be honest you noticed he was around more but you never thanked him for being by your side.

“Where are you ladies off to?” Bucky asked with a smile

“We’re going to the aquawium and ice cweam Mr. Barnes” Morgan answered, “would you wike to come with us?” she asked

“I’m sure he has other things to do Morgan” you said politely

Bucky looked over at you and Morgan, then back to Tony and Pepper.

“I’m okay with it” Tony said loud enough for you to hear

You laughed at his comment, “Well Mr. Stark said it was okay...really Bucky you don’t have to” you added

“Actually it would be my pleasure” he replied

“YAY! Auntie (Y/N) and I always have fun” Morgan said

Now the three of you walked towards the car garage, you normally took Pepper’s car since Morgan’s car seat was in it. You buckled her in and were about to get into the drivers side when Bucky stopped you.

“I’ll drive” he said

“I can drive Bucky, I’m not hurt” you replied

“(Y/N), you have a cast on your left arm” he asked pointing at it. To be fair you had indeed forgotten about your broken arm.

“Fineeee Barnes here” you playfully threw the keys at him.

He opened the passenger door for you to get inside the car, as he walked over to the driver’s side Morgan spoke.

“I think he wikes you” she giggled

“Morgan not you too” you laughed

Thankfully she didn’t say anything else once Bucky got inside the car. “So uhmm I don’t even know where we are going” he said a little embarrassed,

“Bless you, well first we’re going to the aquarium and then Dairy Queen” you said

“Off we go” Bucky said putting the car in drive heading towards the aquarium.

-----------------------------------------

The ride to the aquarium was quiet besides Morgan talking away, she was very much like Tony in that sense, Bucky caught onto that.

“I thought we left Stark back home” he half-heartedly joked

You laughed at that, looking over to him, “We did but we have his mini version back there”

Bucky looked back at you, he looked at you differently, this was the first time either of you had hung out without anyone else on the team being around. Morgan seemed to be enjoying both of your company.

The trip around the aquarium was always fun when it was you and Morgan, having Bucky around only added onto it. He would hold Morgan up to see the fishes closer, you would hold her hand to touch the starfishes, you all walked around like a normal little family.

You were going to take a selfie with Morgan when Bucky offered to take it instead.

“Here stand in front of this glass wall” he advised, Morgan and you complied, you knelt down by her side smiling for the picture.

“I can take a picture for you guys, stand right next to your girls, young man” an older lady said to Bucky. Bucky blushed at the lady, not knowing how to tell her that you guys weren’t together. So he handed her the phone and walked over to you and Morgan, you were trying your best to not laugh.

“You have beautiful women here” she added

“Thank you mam” you replied once she took several pictures of you all.

You took the phone looking at the pictures; you, Morgan and Bucky did in fact look like a cute little family.

After the aquarium you guys headed off to Dairy Queen, Bucky was going to the local one but you let him know that you and Morgan went to a specific one that overlooked the city.

You all ordered your personal favorite ice creams then walked over to a bench that was on the dock. You sat Morgan between you and Bucky, all three of you quietly overlooking the beautiful skyline sunset.

“I had fun today, you should come more often Mr. Barnes” Morgan said

“Thank you, I had fun too, call me Bucky” he said to her.

Once you all were done you headed back to the car, Morgan asked you this time if you can sit in the back with her, you agreed to do so, you often did when you were with Tony and Pepper, she called you her car buddy. Somehow you and Morgan dozed off on the way back to the compound. You were awaken gently by Bucky.

“Hey, we’re home” he said softly

You rubbed your eyes, yawning again, smiling at Bucky.

“Sorry I don’t know what happened” you said unbuckling your seatbelt. You got out from the car to carry a sleeping Morgan out to her room.

“Here I got her, you can lock the car” Bucky said as he placed Morgan into his arms.

You guys walked up to the compound, first to drop off Morgan with Tony and Pepper.

“She’s knocked out, yay” Tony joked as he grabbed his daughter from Bucky.

“The pictures of you three were so sweet and cute” Pepper said, she pulled you over discreetly, “You two would make a cute couple” causing you to blush.

You all said your goodnights, Bucky walked you over to your own room which was a floor below.

“Thank you for this day, that was a lot of fun” he said to you

“Nahhh its all Morgan, she gets it from Tony” you teased

Bucky stopped you in the middle of the hallway, “Look I’m sorry about always being a dick to you. I thought that by doing so my feelings for you would fade away and they sure didn't’” he laughed nervously, “I can’t thank you enough for saving my life, I will forever be in debt to you. After almost losing you, it scared the fuck out of me” he said trying not to cry, “I realized that I could not live without you so I have to ask, will you forgive me for being a jerk and will you go on a date with me? It’s okay Morgan can come along” he joked causing you to laugh.

“Ehhh I wasn’t too nice to you either, you don’t owe me anything Bucky...like I said I would do it again if I had to. As much as I hate Tony and Thor being right, I like you too Bucky. I want to thank you for being by my side even though I wasn’t there to see it, it helped knowing someone else was there for me too. Yes I will like to go on a date with you” you said smiling back to him.

Bucky knew in that moment that his life would get better with you in it, he couldn’t wait to see what the future held for both of you.

#Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes Imagines #Bucky Barnes Imagine #Bucky Barnes fluff #Bucky Barnes #Sebastian Stan #mcu x reader #mcu imagine #MCU IMAGINES #MCU #marvel x reader #marvel imagines #marvel imagine #marvel

271 notes · View notes

tomtenadia · 3 years ago

Text

Remember Us - part 1

Here I am with a new Rowaelin. This will be a much shorter than ALB both in chapter length and story length. The idea came to me while on the bus home after work. It’s angsty,

A special thank you to @whimsicallyreading for being my wonderful beta <3

------

Rowan is involved in a motorbike accident while on his way to work. A crash that will have some consequences on his marriage with Aelin when he realises that he has lost his memory. Day by day they will have to find their way back to each other and and survive the challenges that life throws at them.

-----

When the silver haired man opened his eyes it took him a moment for his vision to focus and take in his surroundings. The walls around him were a pale beige colour and the smell of disinfectant was the first thing that hit his senses. In the background there was a steady beeping sound and when he moved his head towards it he saw a machine tracking his heart rate. Hospital. He was in a hospital. A couple of bags with liquids were hanging from hooks at his side and the long plastic tubes ran to his hand. Another gentle motion of his head and he saw his right arm in a splint and his right leg propped up and enveloped in a protective support.

The man pushed his head back in the pillow and groaned. He was in an hospital. And slowly he realised that’s all he knew. His mind felt empty as he tried to think about how he got there. But nothing. There was nothing. He closed his eyes and blackness hit him. He clearly broke his arm and his leg, but how it happened? He had no idea. Slowly he realised that all his memories had started from the instant he woke up. That was all he had and a wave of panic hit him.

In that instant a nurse walked into the room to check on him “Oh, Mr Whitethorn, you finally decided to join us. How do you feel?”

“Whitethorn?” His voice gruff.

“Yes, that’s your surname.”

The man looked at her with a confused stare.

“Do you know where you are? What day it is? Your name?”

The man shook his head “but from the fancy machines and your attire I guess I am in hospital.” He managed to utter, his throat feeling scratchy from disuse. How long had he been asleep?

“Let me go and call the doctor.” And she hurried out of the room.

Whitethorn, his surname was Whitethorn. That was a start.

A moment later a woman entered the room “good morning you. Glad that you could finally join us.” She smiled at him and checked a few things. The doctor flashed a penlight in his eyes then held a finger in front of him “follow this.” She moved the finger from left to right and back and he followed it with his eyes.

“So, the nurse said you don’t remember much.” She straightened her back and saw her write some notes on his chart.

“I can’t…” he whispered “why am I in hospital?”

“Your name is Rowan Whitethorn. A month ago you had a motorbike accident on your way to work. You have been in a coma ever since. You had a helmet on but still sustained some serious head injuries and you are now experiencing amnesia. It will be temporary and the memories will eventually come back.”

Rowan closed his eyes, he had a name now, another small piece to add to the infinite puzzle in front of him.

“I will schedule another MRI to check your progress since surgery. Now rest, I will get in touch with your wife and let her know that you are awake.” And the doctor left.

Wife. He had a wife. He was married and his name was Rowan and he had an accident.

Aelin left the OR exhausted. The last surgery had lasted for hours but she had saved a kid’s life. She threw her OR scrubs in the trash and walked back to her office, looking forward to sit down on her chair for half an hour at least. Her back was killing her and she definitely dreamed about a back rub in that moment. But her plans were thwarted when she got a page from doctor Westfall. Rowan was awake. He was finally awake. She told the nurses she was going to the neurology ward and that she had her pager on if they needed her and she ran to the elevator.

Once on the correct floor, she stopped. She had been waiting for that moment for a whole month and now she was scared. She was a neurosurgeon as well and, although she was a paediatric one, she knew what his injuries might cause. She spotted Yrene in the corridor and ran to her in a frenzy “Yrene, I got your page.”

“He is awake,” said the brunette “his functions are okay but he is has amnesia. We talked about the possibility.” She explained and Aelin nodded “I have ordered another MRI and I will have a better idea after.”

“Can I go in?”

“Yes, but remember that he might not know who you are.” And she patted Aelin’s shoulder in support.

Aelin nodded and pushed back the tears that had been forming at the corner of her eyes.

Rowan was awake. She had awaited that news for the last month but the happiness in her soul was shackled by fear. Deep unyielding fear. She might have him back but at what price? She knew that the type of injuries he had suffered could affect the memory. As a doctor she was prepared to face it, but as his wife, she could feel her heart aching at the possibility of being a stranger to the man who held her heart. Of him not recognising their children. With a deep breath she steadied her nerves and eventually she opened the door to his room. She had been waiting for that moment for so long, for the day she would go inside and find him awake, his pine green eyes on her once again.

A step inside and her hand went instinctively on her belly over her scrubs where her bump had barely started to show.

“Rowan…”

A female voice distracted him from his thoughts. He turned his head and saw a woman with golden hair and the most amazing blue eyes with a ring just as golden as her hair. She wore scrubs, probably another doctor checking up on him. But the way she had said his name was different from how doctor Westfall had said it.

She was stunning. That much he could admit.

“Ro…” she said it with a soft tone and moved a step toward him and he had a feeling she was not just a regular doctor checking on him. Why was she crying? Then his eyes moved to her left hand on her stomach and spotted a ring. He looked at his left hand and saw a matching one on his fourth finger.

His breath hitched at the realisation. The doctor had mentioned a wife. Was it her? Panic rose in him. He was not ready.

“Who are you?”

“Aelin. My name is Aelin Whitethorn-Galathynius.”

Rowan froze. That was his surname and she had used it with what was possibly hers. The woman never moved from her spot. She just stood there staring at him, her blue eyes on him and he had no idea how to react. This woman was apparently his wife. What could he say to her?

“I am Rowan.” He said feeling stupid. She knew already but in that moment was all he could say.

“I know.” She whispered, finally moving a step in his direction “I have known your name for a very long time.”

“I don’t know you.” He admitted feeling his chest tighten.

“I know.” She sat on the chair beside his bed “I know. Amnesia will be temporary. It will slowly start to come back to you. You just need to be patient. Both of us.”

He looked at her and something tugged in him. It was as if although his mind could not recognise the woman in front of him, his body could. It was a strange sensation. The sense of familiarity. His guts were telling him to trust that woman.

“We’ll face it together. To whatever end.”

He had no idea what she was talking about but he wanted to believe her.

“Do you want me to tell you something about us?”

Rowan nodded, eager to piece together some pieces of the mystery his life had become. How had he ended up with her?

Aelin’s hand caressed her stomach.

“We met at University of Terrasen. You were studying law and I was in med school. We had friends in common and I met you at a party and I thought you were the most obnoxious and annoying man alive.” He heard her chuckle “until a year later when you brought me coffee in the library while I was cramming hard during an exhausting exam session. Then you brought me cake and slowly I realised you were not that annoying.” She continued her tale while her hand gently brushed the tip of his fingers.

“You kept me company and studied with me while I was rambling on medical terms, procedures and other crazy stuff.” He heard her sob “and then we both realised our feeling had changed. We dated. A year later we moved in together. Once we graduated you proposed to me. We got married.” Aelin stood and paced and a ragged sigh left her mouth “after a lot of heartbreak and miscarriages we had our little boy Thomas. A year and a half later Freyja came along as well.”

Rowan gasped. They had kids. He was married to this woman and they had a family and he could not remember any of that.

“Stop.” He said in a harsher tone than intended “This is too much.”

His wife sat back down and her puffy eyes broke his heart. How was it possible that he felt so heartbroken for a woman he had just met?

Except he didn’t. They had been together for a long time and that feeling of familiarity came back to hit him like a sledgehammer.

“I need to be alone.” He said, turning his head and heard her sob loudly and felt the urge to reach out to her. But he fought it.

He needed space.

“I have to go back anyway.” She stood and pressed a kiss on his head “I will see you later.” And left the room.

Rowan threw his head in the pillow and felt his eyes swell with tears. Why was he crying? Why sending that woman away hurt that much? No, not just that woman. His wife. He had a family, a wife and two kids and all of it felt overwhelming.

He wanted to know more, but at the same time he was scared. What if turned out he hated the life he had? Until his memories started to return he had to trust her. Believe that he had chosen that life.

He sighed and his thought kept going back to Aelin.

Eventually he fell asleep with the smell of lemon and verbena still tingling his nostrils.

Aelin quickly went back to her office, locked the door and collapsed on her chair. And cried. She knew it was a possibility. She had discussed it with Yrene after his surgery. She had been preparing herself for the last month but it turned out she had not been as ready as she made herself believe. In that room she had been a stranger to Rowan. Their kids were strangers to their father and she could not tell him again that another baby was on its way. It would have been too much.

She cried, remembering how happy Rowan had been when, two months before, she told him she was pregnant again.

They wanted a big family. They both had good jobs and could afford it. After years of loss they finally had their dream. And then that blasted accident happened. The car driver had hit Rowan and her life was suddenly plunged into hell.

A hell in which for a month she had to tell their kids why dad was not home yet. Console them when they could not play with their dad or have him read stories before bed. Her mum had been helping her looking after the kids while she was at work. But they missed their dad. Freyja especially who was his exact copy and not just physically.

Her sobs grew in intensity.

She missed her husband too. Her heart ached for him. For the comfort she would find in his arms after a bad day at work.

Her pager went off and Aelin quickly brushed her eyes and cleared away the tears and left her office in a rush.

She could hide her pain into work. Pretend, for a few hours, that she was not living in a nightmare. That her life with Rowan had not been put on hold.

For a few hours, inside that OR she could just be Aelin.

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelinkids #rowan x aelin #aelin galathynius #angst

96 notes · View notes

newtonsheffield · 3 years ago

Note

Hey Molly!!

I had to watch the finale of one of my favorite TV shows where they killed off the female lead right after she got together with the guy we’ve all been waiting for her to get together with - for 8 years.

It was depressing as heck! But you saved my depressed little heart with Anniversary so first off thank you so much for this awesomeness of an AU, I honestly can’t get enough of it!! ♥️

I read this interesting fic the other day and I was wondering if we could see something along these lines in the BSCU?

Forgive me if this sounds like super weird and feel free to ignore it but I’m a weirdo who likes a touch of angst mixed with the fluff ahhh

Kate gets appendicitis? Anthony is freaked out? Then fluff!

But again, sorry for such a weird ask! You don’t have to do it!!

As always thanks for being so amazing!

You’re truly the best ♥️

Hello! Hello! Hello!

Ugh! I hate when they ruin ships like that! Like thanks for wasting my time!!!

I'm so glad Anniversary made you feel better though!

Ooof Imagine Anthony going absolutely spare because his girlfriend just kind of doubled over and then went really clammy and like it's not because he said he wanted to marry her right?!

(Let's see if it is!)

Anthony couldn't quite put his finger on it, but Kate had been acting a little oddly this morning. They'd been laying in bed this morning, Anthony's arm cushioning Kate's head as she scrolled through social media. "Ugh! Fucking Hell!" Kate had groaned, rolling her eyes. Anthony had made a humming noise looking up from nuzzling at her collarbone. "A girl I went to school with just got married." She said a little scathingly. Anthony had felt his eyebrows raise, "And we hate that because?" His heart thrumming wildly, surely she wasn't upset because she wasn't-? "We hate that because she used to trip me in the hallway, and she also had guests sign their initials on a bird house. I would die." Kate said a little primly. Laughter bubbled in Anthony's chest, echoing through his bedroom. "I promise when we get married, there won't be a bird house in sight." He said unthinkingly. Kate stilled for a moment and then stood from his bed wincing slightly.

"I have to go to Mary's. I promised I'd help her with some stuff." She said quickly, making her way towards the bathroom, leaving Anthony in their bed wondering what on earth had happened.

He'd been making breakfast when she came downstairs, looking a little peaky as he slid the plate towards her, eggs and toast piled high. "Sorry, I'm gonna skip it. I'm feeling a little queasy, and I was just a little sick when I got changed." Anthony felt his brow furrow, anxiety bubbling in his stomach. "I better head off." "Are you sure you should go to Mary's?" concern colouring his voice, his hand reaching out for her forehead. "Anthony, I'm fine. It's probably just... my period starting or... not that I'll be fine." She said swatting his hand away. Kissing his cheek quickly "I'll be back later." "I love you." Anthony called out as she waved back at him.

Anthony spent all morning trying to busy himself around the house. Kate had left in such a rush, she hadn't even looked at her breakfast, had swatted his hands away and as pathetic as it was, he couldn't remember the last time she'd left the house without telling him he loved her. God, had his stupid comment about getting married made her panic? He wanted to marry her, he was certain and they lived together but maybe they weren't at the stage in their relationship where you could casually mention a wedding that hadn't technically been proposed yet. No, he was being ridiculous, he told himself, She'd said she was feeling unwell, she'd been sick, she was feeling queasy this... morning. Oh god. Kate was pregnant. Something fluttered in his stomach at the thought. Would it really be so terrible if she was? They were committed and he was sure that-

His descent into madness was stopped by his phone ringing Edwina Sheffield (Kate from Work's sister) flashing on the screen a smile coming to his face at the joke. "Hey Anthony," Edwina said quickly, continuing before Anthony greet her. "Um I'm going to need you not to panic but Mum and I are just driving Kate to A&E." Anthony's heart stopped he could hear Kate's voice in the background "For fuck's sake Eddie don't tell him like that!" A scuffle for the phone as Anthony fought for breath, panic welling up inside him. "Honey, please don't panic." Kate's voice winced, Anthony's panic abated only very slightly. "Don't panic?! Kate what happened?!" He choked out. "Please don't be mad, but I think I have appendicitis? Can you just come to the hospital?" Anthony was out the door before she could even tell him where.

He burst through the accident and emergency doors startling the desk nurse. "Um Hi," He said his voice high, his breath wrenching from his chest. "My ah.. my wife's mum brought her in a short while ago? Kate Sheffield?!" "Anthony?" Edwina's voice called out from behind the desk, gesturing him through. Anthony shot an apologetic look at the bemused nurse as he skirted around the desk following after Edwina. "So Kate's your wife huh?" Edwina said smirking, nudging his shoulder with her own. Anthony's eyes bulged as he realised what he'd said, floundering a little. 'Shut up, Eddie. Anyway, she might be dying. Hardly the moment for a romantic proposal." He quipped, his stomach rolling. Edwina fixed him with shrewd stare. "Is there going to be a romantic proposal?"

Anthony shrugged, unable to trust the words that would come out of his mouth for a moment. "Probably." Edwina smiled brightly. "Kate's fine by the way. She's being prepped for surgery which means she's a little...high honestly. She's high as a kite." Edwina said pulling back the curtain with a flourish to reveal Mary attempting to wrestle Kate back into bed. "I'm fine Mary promise I just wanna go home to Anthony and our dog!" Kate was saying her voice a little high. Mary sighed. "Katie, when the morphine wears off I think you'll feel differently." "Anthony!" Kate yelled suddenly realising he'd arrived. And Anthony felt himself relax just a little though worry still swirled in his stomach, he didn't have time to worry about himself.

"Katie, can you get back in bed for me?" He said softly, coaxing her back under the covers. "Mary Anthony came! I love Anthony!" Kate sing-songed happily taking his hand. Mary smiled gently. "I know Katie." "Anthony! They're gonna take out my appendix!" Kate said brightly, as though it was the best news she'd ever heard. Anthony chuckled as he ran his hands through her hair. "Do you wanna know a secret?" Kate said in what Anthony was sure was supposed to be a whisper. He nodded suddenly afraid of what she'd say as he sister watched on with amusement. "It's a really good one." She sing songed again. "Before the pain started, I thought I was pregnant!" Anthony's heart stopped as Mary let out an odd squeak Edwina a loud cackle.

"And like I wasn't even mad about it because I wanna have a baby with you! It would be so cute! It might have curly hair, and maybe your nose and your angry little eyebrows!" Kate said happily her finger running over his brows forcing them to frown as she chuckled. "Mary Don't you think my baby with Anthony would be so CUTE?!" "Okay! We're ready for you now!" A Nurse said making to wheel the bed away. "Just maybe think about it!" Kate said happily. "Kate I would love to have this conversation when you aren't high." Anthony said kissing her forehead lightly, his heart pounding as his girlfriend was wheeled down the ward yelling out "I'm not high thank you!"

"Please tell me I didn't say anything too terrible." Kate winced when she woke up, looking ruefully at her jelly as Anthony fussed around her. "Mmmm you just told Mary and Edwina how badly you want to have a baby with me." Anthony chuckled fluffing her pillows. Kate froze, her spoon halfway to her mouth. "You're fucking kidding." "Oh but I'm not. You want it to have my and I quote Angry Eyebrows." Anthony laughed settling himself on the bed beside her. Kate huffed, her eyes darting to him furtively, clearly gauging his reaction. "Well I'm not... opposed to the idea." Anthony's stomach dropped again. He cleared his throat. "Me either." He saw Kate's shoulders relax a smile threatening to burst onto her face. "I might let you recover from this surgery first though." "Oh my god, such a gentleman. Catch me I'm swooning."

#mary is quietly dying at the thought of a grandchild #even if kate is propositioning anthony while high #like not the time or place Kate but I like the spirit #bridgerton and sons au #kathony #anthony x kate #anthony bridgerton #kate sheffield #kate sharma #molly's asks and answers

89 notes · View notes

its-kall-the-clown · 3 years ago

Note

14 Fluff for Red Son realizing he's nursing a crush on MK

As some context this is post redemption for the demon bull family. So Mei, MK, and Red hang out a lot together now. Red Son is also an idiot. XD

Also this isn’t my most polished work so sorry if it feels rushed.

prompt list

Stop that!! (Don't stop)

Rating: PG-13 for implied sexual interactions

"I think I'm sick"

Red Son admits to the ceiling of Mei's room. They were hanging out like they normally did on days MK was training with monkey king. She was playing some sort of retro video game and he was watching till he got bored and lay on her bed thinking.

"You got a tummy ache?" Mei teased, pausing her game and he huffs rolling his eyes, and sits up.

"Don't be ridiculous" he huffs out and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Okayyyy so what're the symptoms." Mei crawls from her spot on the floor and joins him in bed, sitting crisscrossed with her hand in her lap, and leaning forward eagerly.

"It's hard to explain… sometimes when MK is gone my chest hurts " he places a hand over his heart that was beating normally at the moment.

"And sometimes, when he's around, my hands get sweaty and it feels like I'm gonna throw up and…." He watches a wide unlearning Cheshire grin grow across his friend's face. He continues on, albeit, a bit more hesitantly.

"And….sometimes I can't talk right, and sometimes when he IS around my chest hurts also?" Mei was grinning so wide she was more teeth than she was girl.

"Why are you smiling…."

"OMFG!!?? You have a crush on Mk?!!!" She squeaks excitedly and rolls around in her back as she descends into what Red can only describe as absolute madness.

"What are you talking about??!" He sputters, Mei giggles a bit longer before finally pulling together and greeting him with a wide grin.

"Dude. Your like SO gay for him. 'My HeARt hUrTs WhEn hE’s not arOuNdddd~ " she mocks him in a fake tone and he growls hitting her with a pillow..

"Stop that!" He growls.

"SToP ThAt~" she mocks back and they devolve into a pillow fight on her bed. He girns when he hits her smug face squarely with a dragon stuffie.

Soon they lay panting on her bed and the dragon girl rolls onto her stomach poking him in the face.

"So. Crushing in MK huh?"

He grows beat red again and pulls a pillow into his face and groans.

"You should tell him."

Red son sits up with a smile.

"I should!"

"Yes!!"

"So I can tell him to stop making me sick!"

"Say what now?"

He turns to Mei with a feral smile. This 'crush' or whatever she called it could be fixed. If MK was the one giving it to him. He just needed MK to stop doing...whatever he was doing to make him feel like this.

"Hold on I think you are conf-"

"Thanks Mei!" He gets up and is off to confront the noodle boy as he hears Mei shout at him from her room.

"You're a fucking idiot!!!"

-----------

He storms forward like a typhoon. Red son is a force of nature that can not be stopped, nothing could yield him in his goal or hinder him in his path. Wild horses pulling chariots could not stop him, celestials in heaven would not dare stand in his way, and even his parents (by far the scariest force of all) could not persuade him to rethink what he was doing.

He pushes past the doors to Pigsy's noodles, shoves past patrons and ignores the warning shouts from the pigman.

he had one goal on mind

"Nyyyooodle boy!!!!!!" He bellows grabbing the attention to his problem. Those perfect expression color eyes meet him and the disease in his chest grows. He's in his training clothes, clearly on his way up to his apartment over the shop so he can shower.

Why did the idea of MK showering make his heartbeat erratically? Soft shoulders and cascading water off them…

She shakes his head back and forth now back on track.

"Stop. That." He growls out grinding his teeth together as steam leaves his ears. MK tilts his head slightly. The disease grows more in his chest and he hates it.

"Stop that!!!!" He points directly at MK feeling his hair sputter and spark as his temperature rises. He thinks his face is growing red.

"I'm….not doing anything?" MK gives him a sheepish smile, the kind that quirks up on one side and absolutely obliterates Red Son on the spot.

Like a crunchy fall leaf under the heel of a boot he's crushed.

Whatever motivation he had before it evaporates quicker than a drop of water in the Sahara desert.

"Y-your haven't heard the last of me!!" He makes a quick retreat, stumbling over his own feet and taking out one of Pigsy's tables in the process.

He exits the shop faster than he entered. He needed to regroup and strategize.

-----------

"SoooOOOOOo How'd it go?" Mei asked her eyes not leaving the screen, she's playing a different video game now, and she didn't even spare him a glance when he came back as if she predicted he would fail.

"Horrible!!! All it did was make this sickness worse." He throws his arms up and paces back and forth biting his lip. Mei doesn't pause her game this time, only continuing to mash buttons as he grumbles under his breath.

She lets out A long-suffering sigh and finally pauses her game.

"Dude. I know you're behind on the lingo and stuff but a 'crush' isn't a sickness. It means you like MK. As in you want to kiss him and stuff." she explains with a shrug unpausing her game and the sound of power-ups and pixelated men punching each other continues.

Red Son halts in his tracks

He pictures kissing MK. pressing his lips to the boy's soft adorable lips. He can practically feel the warmth it would produce. He pictures MK smiling into the kiss as they awkwardly bump noses. He pictures holding MK’s hand, squeezing it gently as they walk hand and hand. He imagines the feeling of MK’s hair between his fingers as he runs his hands through it.

He sucks in a gasp, his heart beating out of time.

Of fuck.

“I’m so screwed…..”

He feels Mei patting his shoulder, she paused her game again when he was fantasizing

“Yeah, you are. But at least now you can DO something about it.” she nudges his side and he blushes a bright red and he can hear her chuckling at him

--------------

“Can we talk?”

MK blinks back at him looking back and forth for a moment as if he was confused by his precence. Which to be fair he DID just enter through MK’s window while he was showering and was now waiting for him on his bed.

“Uhhhhh sure?” they rub the last remaining moisture from his hair with a towel before tossing it to the floor to be added to piles of laundry they had yet to do. Red Son didn't even curl his lip up at the slob-like behavior because HOLY SHIT MK IS SHIRTLESS!!!

Of course, MK didn't even seem to care that he was only wearing grey sweatpants in his presence. Red Son guilty looked MK’s chest up and down while they searched for a sleep shirt. Working out with Monkey King has been paying off because MK was sporting some muscle. He also had a few scars from battles that only added to how attractive he was, and of course, there were the two faint top surgery scars under his pecks.

“Is this about your weird episode in the shop today?” they asked pulling him from his guilt ogling and MK pulled a shirt over his body. Damn what a shame.

“Mei says I have something called a ‘crush’ and I should ‘tell them how I feel’ in order to make the pain in my chest go away,” he explained using quotation marks with his fingers to punctuate himself. MK’s eyes widen slightly and then it's schooled quickly. They join Red Son on the bed.

“O-oh? Have you told them?” MK squirms in place and keeps his gaze cast down. He looks uncomfortable, no. he looks upset? Why would MK be upset? Was it because he broke into his room again without permission?

No not that. Although he will have to apologize later

“I’m working on that part,” he explains scooting closer to MK and he grabs one of their hands gently. This felt stupid, and he thinks his sickness will kill him with how quickly his heart is beating. He was terrified and all his symptoms were amplified by ten.

He looks into MK’s espresso-colored eyes looking for something. He loved those eyes. They showed so much in them and he SWORE they could change the whole lighting of a room.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water with his false starts. Eventually, he clears his throat and releases his confession.

“Umm well...MK. I h-have a crush on you.”

he shuts his eyes and waits for the rejection, waits to hear MK laugh with their head back and shove him away.

None of that comes.

He peaks an eye open to find MK’s face a bright scarlet red. Was that a good sign? Or was MK so angry at him that he was just building up anger inside of him like a volcano ready to blow.

“ I w-will leave now.” he pulls away ready to retreat with at least his dignity still in tack. He's pulled back violently and soft lips are smashed to his. He lets out a surprised whimper and absolutely melts into the feeling. His brain is electrified and static all at once.

He kisses back hungrily grabbing MK by the waist and pulls him closer. When they are running out of air only does MK pull away with a little breathless gasp.

“Stay the night?” They requested, placing a soft kiss to the juncture of his neck and he can’t find a single cell in his body that would possibly say no. He nods numbly and MK kisses him again a smile on his lips that he could taste.

----------

“MK GET UP! YOU ARE LATE AGAIN!!”

Pigsy burst down the door jolting the demon awake from his peaceful slumber, his arms that were previously wrapped around MK pull away quickly in the process. He thinks he could stick to the ceiling with his claws like a cat in a cartoon if he jolted just a little higher.

The covers are yanked off them both before Red Son even has time to protest. Thank gods they both put underwear back on when they finished satisfying each other. Red Son is completely and thoroughly exposed to MK’s boss, bitemarks, and hickes across his chest snitching on him.

Red Son and Pigsy meet eyes and he feels a sweat break out across his neck. Pigsy sighs and pinches his snout. He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out through his nose.

“I don't know what happened here... And I don't WANT to know. Tell MK he’s got ten minutes to get downstairs.” Pigsy turns on his heel and leaves slamming the door behind him. Red Son looks over to his now-boyfriend who’s mouth hangs open with drool dripping down his face.

MK slept through all of it.

He can’t help but chuckle and kiss their forehead gently.

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #MK #Red Son #spicynoodleshipping #Red Son may not be the sharpest cookie in the box #thats it. thats the sentance #wrtting prompts #prompt ask

112 notes · View notes

bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

Text

Chivalry is dead (JJK x Reader) 💜(☁️)🔞

🖤 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🖤 Genre: CEO x Secretary AU, Fluff/Romance, Coworkers to lovers?, mild angst, Smut

🖤 Warnings: swearing, mentions of surgery, did I mention swearing, Kookster is whipped, it’s kinda cheesy, please someone get me a Jungkook like that, slow sex, gentle lovemaking, it’s nothing freaky this time, oral (f rec.) protected sex, sugary sweet live confession you might get diabetes

🖤 Summary: Jeon Jungkook was your boss. The roles were clear as day, so why did it seem so complicated?

You had no idea who in the hell actually invented coffee- like who thought roasting some weird beans and spilling hot water over that stuff was a good idea? Well, whoever it was, that person could go fuck themselves royally; because first of all, that stuff tasted bitter as hell, and second of all, it made your early morning shift an absolute nightmare.

Maybe it wasn't the coffee, but the person who loved them- Jeon Jungkook. Self-proclaimed savior of his Dad's company after taking over at the mere age of 22. Now, at 25, he was a well known face in his business, with famous magazines naming him 'one to watch out for' when talking about deals and sudden decisions. He's headstrong, smart, and unbelievably good looking too.

And also an asshole.

Thats at least what your flatmate Jenny usually says whenever he's the main course of your conversations. You'd told her time and time again that he was merely this rough with you because he was stressed- yet she simply stated that you were just an angel too good for this world- and especially too good for him.

"2 Minutes late." Came his rough voice as he didn't even look up to greet you, simply tapping on the surface of his crisp white table where he expected you to put his coffee. (Black and bitter as his soul, as Jenny always said.) He nodded, hand raising to dismiss you as always, until his eyes turned downwards, spotting your scaped up knee; half-hazardly covered by a bandaid that already came off at one side due to the rush you'd been in. Sure, you could apologize now, tell him how you were late because that freaking dogwalker let a leash of one of his huskies slip, which basically ran you over like a truck considering your rather short height, but you'd found out early on that Jeon Jungkook didn't care about your stories. Yet with his still lingering stare, you felt like he'd glued you to the ground by the soles of your shoes, without his dismissal you were forced to stay right where you were. He took a sip of his black beverage before setting the cup down with a sigh, getting up to walk towards a small bathroom connected to his office. Emerging out of the room again with a couple of items in his hand, he sat down on his chair behind his laptop, turning it towards you.

He had to lean down a bit as he took off the bandaid, not even saying sorry as you hissed at the sting. You did notice however how he took it off more gently after that, as he threw it into his bin, opening the plastic bag of desinfectant wipes, before his large hand held the back of your knee, almost delicately. He began to clean the scrape, brows furrowing a bit at the view of the raw skin, thinking about how you probably ran with that all the way to his office just to not be even later. He wanted to apologize, at least give you some form of verbal reassurance that it was okay to put your own health before his goddamn coffee, but the words got stuck inside his throat as he gently placed a new, more properly sized bandaid over the wound, sighing as some red seeped through immediately. "Get that checked after work today." He simply said before getting up to put all of the items away into their proper place as you were left with still tingling skin from his touch. He turned around, looking at you with an almost bored, but soft look. "What're you standing there for? You're dismissed." He said, and you practically ran out of the office.

"He wants to fuck you." Jenny simply said as she bit into her sandwich, while you were left almost spitting out your lunch. "What? That was electricity, I'm telling you! He so wants to screw you." She said, almost accusingly pointing a finger at you as she took a sip of her water, watching you.

"Stop. He only did that because he.." Oh well yeah, why did he do that? He could've simply told you to get it checked instead of taking care of it himself for that matter. But he was someone who wanted things done immediately- e rarely could wait for things to finish or to be done, so maybe he just wanted to have things more proper during your shift? Exactly. He just wanted to keep the image of his company intact- maybe even raise it by showing other employees that he cared for everyone deeply, even if he didn't. "He probably just wanted me not to look like I got scraped off the streets." You mumbled before taking a bite of your lunch, Jennies eyes rolling.

"Truth is;" She started, as she threw away her plastic waste before checking her watch, "That I still think he wants you bend over his desk." She finished, as you turned shades of pink, lowering your gaze at that. You always tried to keep those thoughts away from you, knowing how unprofessional it was. "Does he know you're leaving soon?" She asked, now a bit softer since she knew it was a touchy topic. You shook your head.

"I haven't put in my termination yet." You answered, your food suddenly looking stale. Jenny sighed, hugging your side.

"I'll buy some icecream on the way home, you're finishing later than I do I assume?" She asked, and you nodded again as a confirmation. "Alright. Let's binge on movies tonight, and have a nice weekend alright? Heads up." Came her reply as she left with a wave, to get back to her own desk in the company.

Jenny and you had met while you were waiting for your interview with Jeon to begin, and when you began to talk, you immediately hit off. You'd told her how much the driving back and forth from your old apartment to work would be, and eventually she'd decided to share her apartment with you close to the company. You were a bit hesitant at first, but eventually agreed; and it was one of your best decisions yet. The way to work was basically half an hour by foot- if it wasn't for your daily task of bringing your boss a coffee from this one specific shop downtown, almost an hour away by foot. It was okay however. Everyone had their preference.

At least you told yourself that to feel better about being Jeon Jungkooks personal slave.

"You're in love with her." Jimin stated, as Jungkook almost choked on his instant ramen.

"What the fuck dude, I don't." He exclaimed in a scandalized manner, long dark hair successfully hiding the red tips of his ears. He simply furrowed his brows, chopsticks now digging in his cup as if to search for treasure, just so he didn't have to look up and meet the eyes of his very nosy friends who were sitting in his living room.

"So you only want to fuck her." Yoongi grumbled as he hit after Jimin, who'd tried to steal a peace of meat from his plate.

"Exactly- Wait no!" The young company leader corrected himself immediately. No, this wasn't just pleasure he was seeking with you- but he also denied every single clue that he was into you, romantically. After all, he'd had his fair share of romantic involvements in the past; all pathetically killing themselves royally simply because there was never true love involved. It was either for benefit, for public image, or most of the time- for his money. It was never truly just about him.

Jungkook was simply a number, nothing more. In a way, his success was mostly just a curse for his soul; he was convinced by now that everyone just wanted something from him at this point, as pathetic as it sounded. He was always just the punchline of a joke, elderly woman seeing him as a piece of meat on a richly designed table ready to be consumed- just to be spit out as soon as he'd loose flavor. It was sad really, how much he hated trusting at this point.

"Look." Namjoon started, putting down his empty cup as he sniffled from the spicy meal he'd just consumed. "As far as I know, she'd from a regular background, right?" He asked, and Jungkook nodded, slurping some noodles without paying much attention. "How long has she been working for you at this point, two years? Three years?" The younger in question nodded at three, remembering the moment you'd stepped into his office for your interview, back then with a different haircut and color, and a bit more shy than you were now. You'd found friends in coworkers, when it came to gatherings and dinners you were always missing, however. He'd never seen you at any afterparty or bithday gathering for that matter as well. "She also didn't eye you up at all during these years, right?" He asked, and Jungkook got a bit more serious as that, because his friend was right. You surely looked interested in him, but you kept it charmingly subtle- it was more like a shy glance every now and then, never to linger uncomfortably. Just like a mouse showing itself to the cat every now and then to keep the chase going without any intention to.

"Oh, did you ever pay her for buying you a new suit by the way? The one she spilled her strawberry milk on?" Jimin asked with a laugh as Jungkook shook his head.

"She didn't want it." He said, and suddenly everyone got quiet.

"She what?" Yoongi asked. "Is she stupid?" He got out before Jungkook threw him a serious glance.

"Shut up." He said through gritted teeth, as Jimin laughed and the oldest in the round threw his hands up in mocking defense. "No but.. I offered several times, but she said it was her fault. She even got mad at me when I simply put the money on her paycheck- she practically demanded me to take it back." He explained, and Namjoon nodded.

"Probably because she'd feel bad." He answered. He knew you longest and most personally out of everyone in the current gathering; he'd been in the same class back in school for a few years. And you'd always been like that- you hated being paid back favours, because you didn't want to seem like you did them just to gain something afterwards. You kept people at a safe distance, never to have them cross that line, so you could always push them away without getting seriously hurt in the process. You'd also never been in a romantic relationship for long as far as he knew- only having had one scandal back in school, where the guy you'd lost your virginity to had publicly shamed you for being 'bad in bed'. It was a mess really, and Namjoon had felt bad back then, but there was no way you'd let anyone close to you afterwards. "Look." Namjoon started, looking at the youngest. "I'd say go for it. From what I know, she's a genuine person. I'm more concerned about her in this situation than you, if I'm being honest." He said, and Jungkook looked at him scandalized.

Yoongi chimed in. "You're known to fuck around. Don't just use her as a place to throw your half-assed cumshots into, that's what he wants to say." He replied, making Jimin scrunch up his nose in distaste.

Jungkook only continued to eat in silence. You maybe had the role of the mouse in this chase- but he was a tiger waiting to be taimed.

"What is this?" He asked, very unamused, and very much not pleased. It was understandable to a level- after three and a half years you'd just handed in your termination. What you did not understand however, was the amount of emotion you could spot swimming behind his eyes- he looked a bit like when he'd accidentally spilled tea over his workspace once, scared to death if that accident would mean the death of all his hard work of the day. You'd reassured him back then that everything had been saved on the main servers, so even if his laptop was to die, which it did not, everything would still be save. He could surely find a new secretary however- there was no use to make such a huge fuss over it.

"It's my termination sir. I'll be leaving at the end of this month." You answered, a bit unsure now on your spot in front of his desk, as he pushed the tip of his tongue against the inside of his cheek, a clear sign of irritation on his side.

"Thats in two weeks, Y/N." He stated, and you nodded. "As a reason you stated 'health issues'. Is there something I should be worried about?" He asked, and you swallowed, hard.

"Is it uhm.. do I need to answer-" You began, but he cut you off with a stern voice.

"You don't have to, but I'd have to decline the termination if I don't see the reasoning as fit to be taken seriously under such short notice." He began, putting down the papers as he suddenly looked at you more intensely. "We have clear rules here Y/N, I thought you knew them by now. Vacation requests three weeks prior, and terminations as well, except for important reasons." He said, and you looked down.

"I'll be having an operation that can't be pushed anymore soon sir, and I fear I won't be able to meet your standards afterwards. Which is why I'm terminating my contract." You stated, and you swore you could see a flash of concern in his gaze as he nodded.

"Is there anything I can help you with, in preparation for that?" He asked, now shifting his interest on his laptop screen again, typing something as you got confused.

"Pardon sir?" You asked, and he clicked a few times on his touchbad, seemingly searching for something before he turned his attention back onto you.

"Your severance pay will be quite high due to the quality and timespan you've worked here. I want to make sure however, that you're taken care of personally as well, if you'd let me." He said, in such a manner that you felt like he was actually growing a bit self-conscious.

"I uhm.. I will stay at the hospital for a while to recover, and afterwards I guess I'll be fine on my own. It's really fine sir, I don't uhm.. you don't need to do anything really." You said, before sending a smile his way, trying hard not to think of this chapter as finished. Your eyes already stung at the realization that you'd be leaving this comfortable environment soon. It may seemed childish for someone else, but you considered this place a second home- everything was familiar, every routine saved into the memory of your bones, it was your comfort to work here. "I uhm.. I really enjoyed working here." You finished, as Jungkook took a closer look at you.

He seemed to think about something, before he carefully stood up, slowly walking over towards you. For the first time he didn't look detached or as if he needed to do something; his gaze was soft and gentle, and it made it so much harder not to be a crybaby in this situation. You'd always thought that he merely saw you as a secretary, but this situation, as normal as it seemed, felt so intimate. "I'm glad." He simply said, slightly opening his arms to give you the option to take or not to take his invitation for a hug.

You would've been a fool not to. After all, Jungkook wasn't a physically affectionate person- he hated the act of merely shaking hands with a passion, he'd once told you.

"Will you tell me what exactly it is?" He asked, voice so much richer and deeper now that the side of your face was leaning against his chest, head growing dizzy from his presence. You could smell his faint cologne and a fabric softener similar to the one you used- again showing you that he preferred to wash his clothes himself rather than letting others do it for him. "You don't have to, but you have me worried." He simply said, now detaching himself from you hesitantly as he saw some coworkers outside the office staring. He didn't want to make you the talk of town now, only weeks before leaving. Rumors could be aggressive, after all.

"I uhm.." You started, sniffling a bit as you sat down in front of his workdesk. "I'll have a surgery on my knee, since I take a lot of medication for the pain now, and I kinda don't want that anymore so.." You explained to him, as his brows furrowed.

"Why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have let you work so hard if I'd known you were in pain." He said, almost with a whine, which made you smile a bit in return. You waved him off, however.

"No no, it's fine really. I keep stuff like that to myself anyways." You admitted, and he thought for a moment, before he decided, no.

He wouldn't keep you working just so he could benefit from seeing you. That would be selfish- and he didn't want to be like that. Not with you, at least. He screwed up his chance, and that was okay; he'd had all the time to ask you out, to get closer with you, after all. Maybe it was simply karma. "Take those two weeks off. Don't worry, it won't affect your payment in any form- you'll need to take your vacation time anyways, or I'll get a slap on my hands for not letting you have freetime." He simply said, as you nodded. "Dismissed." He said, in his usual tone.

This time, it made you smile, as you nodded, stood up and walked towards the door. "Y/N." He said from his desk, not looking up. "I really enjoyed having you here." He mumbled, and you grinned, nodding, before leaving the office- and the building alltogether.

"Still can't believe you haven't hired anyone else yet." Jimin accused,as he drank his soju across from Jungkook, who'd simply shrugged. It's been two months by now, and he still refused to let any secretary work as closely with him as you did before. He rather got up a bit earlier and got his morning coffee himself instead of telling anyone to do so; it was as if that was reserved to you. It wasn't the act of having you bring him his coffee like a personal assistand; it was more the fact that he got to see you first thing in the morning. In a weird way, he didn't want to see anyone so early apart form you- he was simply too grumpy for that. "What about Hannah?" He asked, and Jungkook shook his head. Hannah was a promising candidate for the role of a future girlfriend- he really liked her. But there was no romantic spark between the two, and when she'd looked at him almost as if he'd ate her dog when he'd told the waiter to split the bill of their shared dinner, he knew that it wouldn't work out. She'd been so sure that he would simply pay for everything that he had to pay the entire thing- because she didn't even carry her purse with her. "Another piranha, I see."

Namjoon came into the room, several take out boxes in hand. "What're you talking about?" He asked, and Jimin chuckled.

"Jungkookies nonexistent sex-life." He said, before getting hit with a spoon from the younger one.

"Oh, interesting actually-" He began, putting down the food before sitting down himself. "Just saw Y/N-" He started, but Jungkook, almost chomically, cut him off.

"Did she look okay? Was she alright?" He asked, and Namjoon laughed for a second before taking some chopsticks for himself, breaking them apart and making Jimin laugh when they broke the wrong way.

"She seemed okay. Walked without help, but seemed a bit wobbly still." He explained, and Jungkook nodded. "My dad said she's gonna be alright, but it's gonna take a while since she waited so long to get it done-" Suddenly, Jungkook coughed.

"Your DAD did the surgery on her?!" He yelled out, making his dog bark as if alerted, as Namjoon became wide-eyed.

"Yeah, I mean, didn't I tell you.?" He began, but Jungkook shook his head, still heavily irritated.

"No, you did not!" He began, before letting himself fall into the couch defeatedly, whining. "I could've sent her flowers or some other shit, now I fucked it up!" He exclaimed to no one in particular, his dog jumping onto his lap.

"And they say chivalry is dead." Jimin said, playfully wiggling his eyebrows as Namjoon shot him a look to shut him up.

"You can still do that though?" He asked, and Jungkook furrowed his brows.

"No, that's just.. weird. Like, imagine getting flowers from your boss MONTHS after you quit." He said, before huffing like a child. "I screwed it up, its fine." He mumbled, before Namjoon continued.

"I mean, she asked about you though.." He hummed, taking a bite of his food.

"She did what?!" Both Jimin and Jungkook asked in disbelief.

"She asked about you. How you were doing, you know, that stuff." He explained, before continuing. "Told her you fuck around, she left after that." He said, shrugging his shoulders as Jungkook yelled furiously.

"You did what?! Namjoon, what the fuck-" He started, almost tearing up before the elder one laughed. "Not funny." Jungkook commented, clearly unamused by the humor in Namjoons face.

"Sorry." He said, putting down his chopsticks. "No, but for real, she actually told me to tell you she didn't change her number or anything so.."

Jungkook looked at him quesitoningly. "So?" He asked, and Jimin groaned.

"What the fuck, is she supposed to lay on your doorstep with her legs spread out while telling you 'Oh hey come inside and make yourself at home' for you to get the message?" A grumpy Yoongi groaned out as he walked into the living room, greeting the dog. "She basically told Namjoon to tell you she wants to sit on your dick." He said, stealing a dumpling from Jimin as he took off his jacket.

"She did not-" Namjoon started, before turning to the youngest again. "But she basically did say you should message her."

"To make up a date to fuck each other!" Yoongi yelled from the kitchen. Jungkook groaned.

"I mean I do have her number.." He mumbled, and suddenly a hand was on his shoulder as the eldest came back, a glass of water in his hands.

"Then go get pussy." He said, and everyone laughed.

Everyone but the young man in question.

"You uh.. sorry its nothing special but you said you wanted something not fancy so.." He said, as he pulled out the chair as you sat down.

"No no, its fine. I like this." You answered, now a bit shy with him sitting in front of you- all casual and not at all in the regular environment you both met in. He wore a simple black button up, ripped jeans- clothes that were so.. regular, yet he made them look so expensive. Maybe it was how his body was proportioned, with long legs and a broad chest, or maybe it was simply the way he carried himself.

"You look really nice." He casually complimented, as you blushed a bit, unfamiliar with such compliments as he smiled at your reaction, licking his lips almost impishly.

He would've been a bit more shy if it wasn't for the several conversations over the phone you both have had in the past couple of days; your answers and innuendos making it clear that you were genuinely interested in him, on a higher level than just 'hit and run'. No, you'd asked about his dog when he'd sent you a picture of him, you'd wanted to know about his family, or what he did in his freetime- you both even played several rounds of overwatch together when you'd revealed to him that you play the game as well.

It made him feel confident.

Another reason he was so adamant on making sure his impression on you was the best was that you'd openly talked about your, admittedly shitty ex partners, giving him even more reason to treat you the best he could think of.

You felt a bit weird.

Not a bad weird, but a.. tingling weird. This kind of weird where you don't know where to put your hands because wherever you began to rest them your mind thought about if it looked weird. It made you feel like a kid waiting to finally be let loose on a playground. You felt so comfortable with him, that it was important for you to make a good impression on him. So when the waitress came back after you both ate a bite, you began to search for your wallet, as he smiled at you, his larger hand covering yours in a manner that told you he'd pay. "All on me." He simply said, as he payed, making you pout a bit.

Walking outside, he made sure that you were comfortable with him walking you home before walking side by side with you, never too close to not pressure you. After a moment, you began to speak. "I could've payed, you know-" You started, but he cut you off with a question.

"Why won't you call me by my name?" He asked, and you began to chew on your lip. There was no specific reason you could think of that would make sense to him. It just felt like you'd let him in if you were to say his name out loud. It was a taboo thing to call your superior by his first name, but that had been the past. Now it would mean that you were considering him your friend. Or maybe even.. more. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked, and you shook your head immediately.

"No, its just.." You started, trying to think of something.

"Don't make something up now just for me. I promise I won't be offended; just be honest." He said, and you nodded.

"I'm not someone who, you know, lets people get close to me, normally." You explained, before you continued after he'd nodded, telling you wordlessly that he was following your words. "It just seems.. so intimate, if that makes sense?" Against what you'd expected however, he simply continued his gentle smile.

"That's okay. You don't have to love me right away." He offered, looking down at you with a smile. "Say it when you feel like it. We'll do whatever is comfortable with you." He offered, and you smiled.

"So you both did not, in fact, fuck each other." Jenny said, as she ate another spoonful of icecream.

"No, we did not." You said, and smiled a bit at the memory. Jenny had just gotten back from her business trip; a week full of torture as she'd called it. "We simply talked and he brought me home every day." You explained, and your friend fake-gagged playfully at that.

"Oh god, someone get me a grater for all that cheese!" She laughed, as she suddenly smiled a bit more seriously. "No but really, I'm happy. He seems nice." She said, and you nodded.

"He does."

"Do you treat everyone like me?" You'd asked one night as you shared takeout with Jungkook in his living room, having agreed to meet up at his place.

He shook his head. "Not to that extend, no. But I learned from my dad was common chivalry is- it's not that deep to be honest." He explained, as he continued eating. He looked so young like this; merely wearing a sweater and sweatpants combo, hair a bit unruled and piercings on full display. With all that business on his shoulders, one could easily forget that he was just a young man, even if he did turn 26 recently.

"Its not common, though." You commented, and he shrugged his shoulders, leaning back against the couch as he finished his meal.

"Do you want to take my bed or the couch?" He asked after a moment, after you'd finished your meal as well. You shrugged. "Then we'll sleep together." He playfully said, but got a bit shy after you'd simply nodded, not having noticed that he didn't truly mean his statement. No taking it back now though.

"Are you tired?" You asked, wondering if that was why he'd brought up the question. Jungkook was an honest guy, so he affirmed.

"A bit, honestly. Sorry." He said, but you shook your head, already picking up the empty containers and plastic bags to throw them away.

"It's fine." You simply said, as he nodded, his gaze following you for a moment before he opened the door to his backyard, ushering his dog to go out to finish his business before bedtime.

You knew you should feel at least a bit nervous, after all you'd be sharing a bed with him. But for some reason you weren't- even if something was to happen, you felt comfortable with him- enough to trust you at your most vulnerable state. At this point he'd already sneaked his way around your made up walls, way too close now to be let go off without pulling on your skin painfully at the same time. Hurting him would hurt you now- so you had simply accepted the fact that he was going to stay at your side for as long as he saw fit.

"Alright, bedtime mister." He said, leading the dog to its bed by the front door- a place his pet had chosen willingly, he once told you. "Goodnight." He mumbled, gently petting his companions head before he made his way inside his bedroom, where you followed. He closed the door quietly, turning on a small lamp on his bedside desk, before opening a window. "I like to sleep with the window open, hope you don't mind." He said, as you shook your head. You simply got into the bed after him, your way of trying to find out which side he preferred as you slipped under the covers, the smell of his by now familiar fabric softener, and distinctively his smell flooding your senses. His mattress was soft, way softer than yours at home- but it was probably worth several months worth of rent as well.

"I uh.." he suddenly said, low voice cutting through the silence after he'd turned off the lights, darkness swallowing the room fully. "I have a habit of, uhm.. undressing myself during the night so. Just to warn you." He said, before groaning a bit. "Oh god that came of kind of creepy, sorry-" But you simply laughed.

"It's okay. I hug things when I sleep, so I'll probably latch onto you during the night." You admitted, and he chuckled.

"Oh I don't mind that at all." He hummed, as you felt him turn over, probably to face you as your suspicions were confirmed when a finger almost shyly brushed over your bare arm. He was silently testing the waters, trying to find out if you were comfortable enough with him to let him go that far. To his surprise you reacted by scooting closer towards him, until your nose was close to his. He couldn't quite see you, only able to make out rough outlines as the moon wasn't shining at all outside his apartment. "Is that okay?" He asked, in a whisper, careful as if he didn't want to scare you away. He felt you nod as his hand went to lay down on your cheek, thumb finding your lower lip as he guided his onto yours, slow, as if he was only testing the waters yet.

Always so considerate.

You slowly deepened the kiss, a bit hesitant since it has been a while you'd ever kissed someone; but he took the lead after noticing you accepting his gesture, his tongue gently asking for entrance as you granted his wish, making him close his eyes as he lazily continued kissing you, his desire taking over.

Everything was slow, comfortable, and warm- the way he slowly moved to lean over you, the way his hands roamed over your body underneath your clothes. It was as if you both knew eachother already, as if you didn't need to hurry anything at all. And it was true.

He slowly undressed himself, before directing his attention towards you, helping you out of your clothes as well, careful to leave the covers over his body, as if to shield you from the chilly air coming inside from the opened window. He truly enjoyed every second, every inch of skin he laid bare of you, as his head dipped downwards, placing open mouthed kisses against your neck and collarbone as his hand gently ran over your chest, squeezing the soft flesh or a moment before his thumb grazed over the hardened nipple, making you squirm underneath him. You felt torn between a feeling of being worshipped almost, and the frustration of him going so slow. Every past sexual encounter had always been straight to the point- this was entirely new territory.

"We got time darling." He hummed suddenly amused as you began to squirm more underneath his touch. You felt his hard on against your inner thigh clear as day, yet he seemed to absolutely not notice it; his attention more so on you, as he suddenly moved underneath the covers, shaking his head a bit to get his long hair out of his eyes, piercings jingling brightly at his sudden movement before he dipped downwards, making you gasp as you felt his tongue on your center. He chuckled again as his hands held down your lower belly, keeping your hips down and legs open for him as he sucked and swallowed, making you whine at the feeling. This was the first time someone had ever gone down on you, and it made you feel absolutely incredible.

Jungkook moved again as you became close to your orgasm, hands fumbling around for a moment until he found in his drawer what he'd searched for; the crinkling sound of the foil package filling the room as you still breathed heavily. He rolled the condom over his length before he moved over you again, cooing at the cold feel of your damp skin, sweat making your body cool down rapidly. "Are you cold?" He asked, and you nodded, but held out your arms, desperate to have him close to you again. "Let me warm you up." He hummed lowly, pulling the covers over his back again before he led his cock into your core with the help of his hand, groaning at the feel of your warm walls welcoming him inside. He moved after a moment, kissing you again as if he needed to confirm that this was truly happening. "You feel like home darling." He whispered out of breath as he slowly moved a bit faster, your hands searching for his as he helped you find them, fingers intertwining as he felt his soul grow fond. He loved you, he truly did, and in that moment he realized it to the full extend. It was the same for you as he kissed your neck, hot breath against your skin making you feel protected and adored as he picked up his pace, thrusts becoming more erratic as he suddenly pushed himself inside you in one swift move, hand leaving yours to desperately move over your pearl, making your back arch off the mattress as you whined in pleasure, throwing him off the edge as well as he spilled inside the condom.

His forehead rested against your shoulder as he chuckled, slowly slipping out of you as you laughed along with him.

"I swear that was not my intention when I said we'd sleep together." He said, and you laughed a bit harder at that, kissing the side of his jaw affectionately as he kissed your neck. "I love you. I really do."

"That's okay." you said still a bit out of breath, and he wished you could've seen the bright smile he sported at your next words.

"I love you too, Jungkook."

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

942 notes · View notes

hiswhiteknight · 4 years ago

Text

Unbelievably Outlandish– Part 10

Summary: Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 1400

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start, obvious fighting and violence, mention of suicide

*I’ll be honest, this chapter is more of a fuller, substance chapter. If you wanted to be added to the tag list, please send me a message or chat. Thank you for everyone’s patience!

The hunt still left you plenty in your thoughts. It should be on helping in whatever way you can, but you kept thinking on your role here and how you clearly will never belong, no matter how to try to be kind and open to the culture, no matter how much you push away your own values and morals for these people. It will never matter. Rupert yelled your name, catching your attention. A man got hurt and you help mend what you can before instructing Rupert to bring him back to the village. Another scream, a different type of scream caused you to be pulled from you own thoughts of now and into the times of wartime. You charge to the scream, you found a man losing blood quickly, and a shot pulled you from your thoughts. The boar that did this must have been shot, “Mistress Y/L/N, am I going to die?”

All the pressure and anger you felt subsided, “Hold of Geordie, let me look at you,” several clansmen surrounded you. Dougal showed up to hold Geordie as you tried to patch up his leg. Dougal and him were exchanging words when you saw the wounds to his abdomen. Dougal made eye contact with you and you knew he knew what you were saying. You pulled off the tourniquet, and grabbed his hand, “Geordie, the pain is going to be go soon, but while we wait, I have a bet with Angus.” Geordie looked at you the way many men have looked at you before in the Marine. You had to bring him peace in the time of his panic, “I bet Angus that the colonies had more beautiful sites than Scotland. Tell me about your home, what’s it like?”

Georgie perked up as he told you about his home and you gripped his hand with all your might and continue to stroke his hair to help sooth him. And soon he was gone, you quickly got up and made your way to your horse. Before you knew what you were doing, you made your way to the castle. You needed some busy work, like stitching up the leg of the man who was also attacked by the boar. Afterwards, you walked outside to see the men playing field hockey, which you played for a few years in high school. This was far more barbaric, and you could see Dougal taking his rage out on Jamie. He could cope in anger, but if you did this, you would be gutted.

You wondered who would win in a fight and you had no doubt Jamie would win. When you saw Dougal on the ground, a young girl from one of your lessons tugged on your arm, “Well hello Molly dear, you enjoying the gathering?” There is no reason to take your rage on children, they didn’t do anything wrong. Honestly, teaching them defense things and survival tactics was the most time you felt at peace, well except when you were with – never mind that thought.

“Aye mistress, very much,” you smile down at her, “I heard about your ill-wish and I know who made it. They did not know it was intended for you when they gave it to the girl.”

Guilt hit your chest again, someone was scared you were going to hurt them for being an accomplice. You were letting the harshness of one person hurt your relationship with the majority, “You know who put it under my bed?”

“Aye mistress,” she whispered, “You wouldn’t be telling my mother, would you? She wouldn’t be wanting me to get into others business.”

You bent down to her level, “Tell you what,” you pull out your coin bag with most of the money you made for yourself while staying here – your escape money, “I’ll tell your mother you helped me collect supplies for the gathering, which is why I paid you all this. And you tell me who put it under my bed?”

“Mistress, I don’t need your money. Girls aren’t allowed to learn the things you are teaching. You don’t deserve any ill-wishes. You’re lovely,” you smile up at her.

You pass her the bag, “You’ve earned it dear, I keep my word. Give me the name and the money is yours.”

“Laoghaire,” she whispered. You shot up, looking around completely shocked.

“Alrighty lass,” you pat her on the shoulder, “If you don’t mind, I have business to take care of.”

“Be careful, please,” she urged after you.

You had a hyper focus again, you intended to kick her ass, like you reported. And you found her socializing where most of the clan put up tent for the gathering. You passed Murtagh and Jamie, taking off your sling bag off and your dagger from your waistband and handed it to one of them, “Murtagh, could you mind this for me?”

“I’m not your errand boy, lass, and where you going that you won’t need this,” he questioned.

“You’re a pretty face, Murtagh, you ask too many questions,” you sass to him, looking at your target. Jamie and him stopped leaning on a post, both putting their drinks down. They could clearly tell you mean business. “Hey, Laoghaire, you two faced, toxic bitch, I got your gift earlier and I would like show you my appreciation.”

She had the audacity to give you a glare, before she realized she was in real danger. She started to step backwards, and the crowd started to grow around you as you moved closer to the girl, “Leave me alone, wench.”

“Oh, you do have words now that you can use. I thought you might be too stupid to speak up and say something since you chose to instead use this voodoo bullshit to get at me. You want to bring me pain lady, let’s go at it,” you finally were within three feet of her. Before you could make a grab at her, she ran in another direction.

You were about to put your running skills to work, when Murtagh gripped your arm, “Come on lass, you made your point let’s get you back to the surgery.”

“You know what, I’m a little busy right now. But I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few, we can have some tea to cleanse our spirit, la de da and all,” you keep her in your eye sights. You were about to start your chase when you were tossed over a shoulder. Murtagh was carrying you back as you banged on his back. You were mad in this moment because you gave your dagger away to this meathead or he would have suffered from a few, no lethal jabs. He dropped you in the surgery room, “Damn it, Murtagh what the hell is wrong with you?”

“With me, you were about to put a big target on your back. You’re a guest here lass, they don’t take too kindly to guests attacking one of their kin,” he leaned against the counter.

You started to cry, and you usually do not cry, “Does it mean nothing I didn’t start it? Her action deserves a consequence. I watch all men here fight over nothing and here I am fighting against an injustice and my life is at danger. Do I not matter to anyone where? Should I just go to the tallest tower and jump?”

“Don’t be so dramatic, an ill wish is nothing,” he urged to you. He didn’t seem too phased by the fact you were crying, though he did soften his voice to show sympathy, “I know you don’t believe any of nonsense. You are a smart woman.” You started to toss things about the surgery, organizing all the stuff you brought out for the hunt. Murtagh walked over to you and stopped you by gripping the top of both your arms, “Y/N, you matter more than you know. Stop this behavior, you’ll get accustomed.”

“Murtagh, why do I always have to be the one to change? What do I have to do to feel like I belong here, how long will it take for people to believe I’m not an outsider?”

He took a deep breath again, “I know it doesn’t seem it now and I don’t know how, but you do belong here. It’ll come in time. Until then, stop picking fights.”

“Yes father,” you rolled your eyes, “Where is Jamie, I assume he has my bags and things?”

“Aye, right now he is taken care of Laoghaire, so you needed be worrying about her anymore,” he said, making his way to the stairs.

“Unless he has killed her and hid the body, I’ll keep to worry about her and her no good deeds, thank you,” you shouted at him. “And make sure Jamie brings back my things sooner rather than later.”

And before Jamie could drop off your things, Dougal Mackenzie came down to share you would be journeying out to collect rent from the clan who wasn’t able to make it.

PART 11

Taglist: @doctorwhatwhenandwhere @damnedandbroken @blushingpogue @blancastans @slytherinambitious @kinky-asher @lovesanimals @bilesxbilinskixlahey

#Outlander #outlander fanfiction #outlander imagine #Jamie Fraser #jamie fraser imagines #jamie fraser x reader #jamie fraser imagine #jamie frazier x reader

176 notes · View notes

doberbutts · 3 years ago

Note

100% feel free to delete this if you feel it would create drama or a problem since you're already hurting but I just. Wanted to come in and say I'm sorry that your vet was so shitty and dismissive and I'm really really tired of the attitude I see online towards vets that's basically "They can do NO WRONG EVER and if you complain about anything relating to vets you're vet bashing and YOU are personally responsible for their misery"

It's just really strange seeing posts all over Tumblr about how dismissive and shitty doctors can be, especially to chronically/terminally ill people but when it comes to vets you can't criticize them AT ALL or else you personally crawled out of Satan's asshole.

Like... Sorry but not all vets are good. In fact a lot of vets are downright shitty! I've seen so, SO many cases of vets that straight up don't know what they're doing. Vets that advocate for unnecessary medical procedures, vets that suggest horrible diets (I've seen multiple ferret owners who's vets suggested fruit and vegetables as treats which... Do you want Insulinoma? Because that's how you get insulinoma), vets that prescribe the completely incorrect medication or don't even go over the side effects with the owner, etc.

It's just really frustrating as a pet owner, knowing that I have to read research papers on Scihub to learn about the proper treatment and medical care for my animals and what medication should be used to treat what issue.

I KNOW vets are underpaid and overworked and stressed beyond belief. I know they have no time to themselves. But it's just so miserable wondering if my vet is keeping up with the latest research on vaccines/diet/medication/treatments or if I need to do it myself and then fight tooth and nail to get proper treatment for my animal or if the vet is going to go "No you stupid silly little Karen, I am the one with the degree so I know best, now sit back and watch as I kill your pet"

I'm sorry for this sudden huge rant in your inbox, I'm just so upset about what you and Creed had to deal with.

I see it everywhere on social media, not just tumblr. As a disabled person, I see a lot of universal "trust doctors" and no, sorry, sometimes the doctor is wrong, and I shouldn't be labelled an anti-vaxxer or anti-science just for stating my lived experience. Not when I've literally had doctors do stupid stuff to my own body that I knew was wrong and was spoken over by them basically going "yeah well I went to med school I know what I'm doing".

And again, I fully admit I do not have a medical degree or really even medical training. BUT I do tend to obsessively research things I'm worried about, and that extends to my animals. MORE THAN ONCE I have taken my animals to the vet going "hey I think it's this but I don't have a way to check" and the vet has gone "...okay wow yeah it's this how did you know" BECAUSE I RESEARCH. More than once I've been asked by a treating office if I have medical training because they noticed that I know my stuff and that I know exactly what questions to ask. Some of it's because this type of thing fascinates me, and some of it's because I literally scroll through SciHub and the like reading study after study after study so that I'm armed with what seems to be the best possible treatment plan.

When we first caught and diagnosed the initial mast cell tumor I did a shitton of research on mast cell cancer. What I discovered was that often, simple removal of a grade 3 tumor was not enough, but also that chemo barely bought any time as once mast cell progressed to grade 3 it was really a coin toss on whether or not the dog had other, unseen tumors, often in the lymph nodes or the liver or spleen. As a result, if a grade 3 tumor is found and you notice more growths on the dog after surgery, on average the dog has a 6 month window to live. I've been saying 6 months this whole time because of that research. And, what do you know, the tumors regrew and I asked for an ultrasound because that would confirm whether his cancer was progressing down the usual path. And once I got that ultrasound done??? GUESS WHAT??? Tumors in the lymph nodes, liver, and spleen.

Fucking "just neuter him if he's peeing everywhere". Yeah neutering will definitely help his lymph nodes and liver and spleen not have tumors in them and will definitely lessen the pressure on his bladder and intestines from the two "large masses" and other nodules...

26 notes · View notes

achliegh · 4 years ago

Text

Olive and Otto

Masterlist :)

@domesticatedbeetlenamedjorge

This is an AU still set in the SW universe but a little to the right and maybe down the block. I want Leo to have a little secret!

This is the 22nd chapter of this little series I have and it's a little spicy. Enjoy!

FAMILY SKATE! Part 2 and Final Chapter!

I just wanted to say thank you all for reading this, it makes me so happy because my writing feel like garbage to me but y'all treat it like its precocious and I have cried happy tears over things y'all have said. I just can't thank y'all enough.

TW/CW: Smut, Drama, Arguing, Questioning Sexuality, Food, Panic attack

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Family Skate was booming, everyone was a little taken back at the two hurricanes with adorable old timey names. Those kids tore up the ice, for only being three those kids could probably out skate most the team. Remus’ little brother, Julian, Loved Otto. Like he didn’t leave his side the entire time they skated. Olive would skate around with Kuny, she was so fascinated when he would speak Russian to her. She was absolutely taken by the giant Russian and she wanted to understand this new language so bad that Kuny taught her some bad words and Sergei told him off for it.

Sometimes the kids would be talking to someone and just randomly switch to either French or Spanish without even realizing it and then get upset when Leo or INK would tell them to “Speak English, Sweetheart”. Otto and Marc were skating together when Otto had a dizzy spell and fell over, everyone froze for a second remembering what Leo said about the little boy earlier.

“You okay?” Marc held his hand out and was looking at Otto worried because his new friend just fell over for no reason. Yeah he was younger than him but Marc had never seen someone just drop like that. Otto nodded and used Marc’s hand to stand up.

“I want to sit” They skated over to where INK was sitting on the bench talking with Eloise and Celeste, Otto was very good at knowing when he hit his limits for the day and today was the first time since his surgery that he had been on the ice for more than a few laps with his dad. He crawled up between Eloise and Celeste, he kicked his skates a little as he watched everyone skate. “Ma-maw, why can’t I live here? I could have friends.” He looked up at his grandma who was stunned by what he said and so was Celeste. “No one likes me at school at home.” He didn’t understand why it was a big deal that he didn’t have many friends. He did enjoy all the kids here though.

The Weasley kids were fun and had treated him like he wasn’t a downer. The Dumais' treated him like a little brother and some of the other kids whose names he didn’t remember played tag with him and didn’t go easy. He didn’t want to go home.

“Oh honey, you’ll be up here all summer. Then you can play with all the other kids then. Just enjoy your time here, you have three more days with your daddy before he has to work and your mama has to go to work back home.” Eloise was just trying to talk him into enjoying his time now but she wasn’t expecting him to talk about friends, he never did. He was like Leo in that sense, kept to himself but was very observant.

“If you want I can give your maman my phone number and you can call Marc anytime after school.” Celeste petted his hair and he leaned into her touch. He nodded, having a big ole smile on his face and his cheeks were a little red, he thought Celeste was so pretty.

Olive was racing Charlie and beat him for the third time, he looked exhausted but she was still revving to go. She was incredibly fast but she was also very small, she skated around the outside and caught up with Leo. She somehow got between Leo and Finn, she grabbed each of their hands and let them pull her.

“Daddy, did you see how fast I was! I beat Charlie!” She got listed up by them and laughed as they put her down, not noticing the absolutely lovesick expression Logan was watching them with. “I want to play hockey someday! I want to be just like you! Oh, daddy do you have a boyfriend yet? Mama wants to get married to June!” She looks up at him when he laughs at Finn's face who is firetruck red. She really doesn’t want her daddy to be lonely anymore, it makes her sad. She was really angry when he left but when he facetimes mama the first time crying, she wasn’t angry anymore, she was scared. She can’t take care of him so who will.

“Olive, what would you say if I had two boyfriends?”

“Whoa! That would be so cool! You would never be sad!” She smiles flashing those incredible dimples and hears Bill calling for her. “I gotta go race, by Daddy!” She skates off leaving a laughing Leo and a red Finn to call Logan over.

After the Pick-up game Olive was watching the entire time while Ott had fallen asleep with his head on Celeste's lap. Everyone got changed and showered, after they piled into cars and drove to Dumo's. INK can’t cook for shit so she was sitting on the couch chatting with the team while Leo and his mother cooked in the kitchen with Celeste. Wyatt was talking to Pascal and Arthur in the dad way, with a few signatures on his shoulder.

She was watching everyone when a pregnant redhead sat neck to her, she groaned a little and looks at INK.

“How far along are you”

“About 6 months” She smiles at INK and rubs her stomach. “I’m Lily by the way, Pots is my lover.” She nods towards said lover who is being cheered on as he chugs some kombucha. INK snorts at him and laughs. “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Have twins, I can’t even imagine the strain it took on you.”

“I had to drop out of school and was bed ridden for the last three months of my pregnancy. It was really hard but Leo never left my side, the stupid idiot sweetheart.” She smiles and rolls her eyes. “I never wanted kids when I was younger because I was afraid I would end up like my parents, then Leo and I did some stuff and it was probably a less than 1% chance that I would get pregnant and it happened.” Olive ran past them with her Daddy's Jersey on her that was much to big, she almost trips on it and laughs as Adele chases her playfully. “I can saw that those three definitely saved my life.”

“Three?”

“Yeah, Olive, Otto, and Leo. I couldn’t have done anything without him. He is the best dad, and he supports those two with everything he has. We also don’t want to put them into the public eye until they can choose for themselves if they want to be followed like that.” She takes a sip of her wine and looks at Lily. “I don’t really have any advice to help you because the last few months I mostly slept and cried. If you need me to get anything for you I will though.”

“I just want to get to know you, you’re someone who has raised two adorable children and you’re still smoking hot!” That surprises a laugh out of her and Lily join in the laughing after a minute.

Leo walks out of the kitchen. “Let's eat y’all!” Finn and Logan kiss his cheek as they walk into the kitchen to eat, Pots and Nado also smack big wet kisses on his cheeks as they walk past. He shoves them and follows everyone else.

“No, Otto you know you know you can’t have that.” He takes a peanut butter bar away from him and shakes his head. “I don’t feel like going to the emergency room tonight.” Otto is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts, he seems to forget how serious it is to eat stuff that might kill him. Usually no one has any form of nuts in the house, but this isn’t their house.

The child he just took a treat away from starts to cry and he sighs, walking over to where the treats are he asks celeste what's in each one and grabs a double chocolate brownie for Otto and hands it to him. “Don’t eat it until your plate is empty, okay?” Otto instantly stops crying and nods running off to join his sister. Shaking his head he feels arms wrap around his shoulders.

“You’re so good with them” Leo smiles and looks over to his dad. He looks so proud of him, he kisses his son's head and pats his shoulder. “I’m gonna go eat with Pascal Dumais” Leo snorts as his dad giddily goes to sit next to his teammate.

As he looks around he has never felt more at home, INK and June were talking with Lily and Natalie. Olive and Otto are eating and talking at the kids tables, Finn and Logan are openly flirting and stealing cute glances at him. He felt so calm and like he could breathe.

Suddenly Pots jumps up.

“They are the picture in your stall!”

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #remus lupin #lumosinlove #sweater weather #sirius black #coast to coast #jackson nadeau #kuny #james potter

56 notes · View notes

one-chicago-fanfiction · 3 years ago

Text

Gabby and Antonio: This Instinct to Run

Word Count: 2k

Summary: This story is set many years prior to the beginnings of all One Chicago shows. When Antonio tells Gabby he's having top surgery at last, the two of them share a difficult, interesting conversation.

Antonio Dawson was nervous. He was waiting for his sister in their usual spot—a diner on the corner, just a few blocks away from the house they grew up in. It had, for a while, been their after school place, mostly in the years where Gabby was too young to be home alone, and Antonio’s school bus took longer to get him home than her’s did. They were older now, and Antonio was nursing a coffee, slouched down in the seat, one knee up at his chest, the other leg stretched out before him. He probably didn’t look nervous, but his heart was slamming hard in his chest, and a sickly sort of adrenaline coursing through him.

They hadn’t seen a lot of each other lately, and it was starting to take a toll as far as Antonio was concerned. Gabby was taking classes, training as an EMT. Antonio’s heart, meanwhile, still pulled him towards the same two things it always had. One of those things was the Chicago police department, a dream he’d harboured for almost as long as he could remember. When he thought about how long it was taking him to get started in his career there, he ached as if he’d already lost something. There was a desperation there, thrumming under his skin, a voice telling him soon, soon…

But first, there was something else he needed to do, something even more important. This thing, this one last thing on his to do list before he could start the rest of his life? Antonio Dawson had never wanted anything more.

Gabby walked into the diner, and met his eye with a smile and a nod. She ordered herself a drink and slid onto one of the seats opposite him, pausing only to kiss his cheek before she pulled off her coat and sat down. Antonio sat a little straighter. There was so much of their mother in Gabby, and the smile he gave his loving, strong willed, incredible sister was small, nervous. Something flashed through her eyes, something like suspicion. She’d seen, right away, the thing he’d been trying to hide.

“Good to see you, sis,” he said. Gabby hummed, dismissing his attempt at pleasantries.

“What’s going on with you?” She asked, nodding thanks to the waiter who placed her coffee on the table between them. She took a long sip.

“What’re you talking about?” Antonio asked. “I’m all good.”

“Sure,” said Gabby, wiping foam from her top lip. “That’s why you’re all weird and—sweaty—right now.”

“I’m not...” Antonio started, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. “I’m not sweaty.”

“And I’m not stupid,” Gabby said. “This isn’t no casual catch up. I wanna know what’s going on.” As kindly as she said it, her unblinking gaze was a challenge, and one of the common themes of their childhood had been Gabby’s challenges, Antonio succumbing to them every time.

“Okay,” he said. “Fine. I have news. I was gonna build up to telling you this, you know? I was actually gonna ask how things are going with you.”

“You can ask me that after,” she said, then another swig of her coffee. Antonio could smell the sweetness of it from here. Pumpkin spice maybe. Damn October. A pang of envy struck him. He should have thought of that himself. He cleared his throat, pulled himself back to what mattered.

“Sure,” he said, a quick glance around the diner before he went on, talking a little quieter now. “Okay. I, uh…I got the money together for my top surgery. It’s finally gonna happen.”

“Woah,” Gabby said, eyes wide, pushing her coffee aside as she leaned in a little closer. “Woah, Antonio. That’s—amazing. Are you, uh—I mean—do you have a date yet?”

“Two months from now,” he said, unable to stave off his idiot grin, even with his heart pounding so hard. He wondered if he looked as unhinged as he was worried he did.

“That’s soon,” Gabby said.

“Not soon enough,” Antonio said. “Trust me.”

“So,” said Gabby, and paused. It unsettled him that she was taking her time, choosing her words so carefully. It was something he was getting slowly used to, the way his sister would hold herself back sometimes, like his coming out had undone some of the comfort between them, like she couldn’t just let herself be, in case she said something that stung him, as if he wasn’t able to come back from that. Like she didn’t completely know him anymore.

“So?” He prompted.

“So,” she said, “you’re ready, then? I mean…for all of…for everything?”

“All of it,” Antonio said. “I’m ready for all of it.” Gabby smiled.

“Then I’m happy for you.”

“Look,” said Antonio. “I know some of this has been weird for you, but I—“

“Hey, no,” said Gabby. “It’s not that, I just—“

“Would you let me finish?” He said, a fond smile on his face. Gabby yielded with a nod of deference, slouching in her seat now, the mirror image of her brother across the table.

“I just wanted to say I appreciate your support,” he said. “I mean…I also kinda wish you’d stop treating me like some fragile bird.” Gabby made a face.

“Fragile bird?”

“Honestly?” Antonio started. “Never thought I’d say this, but I kinda miss you messing with me all the time. Lately you’ve been treating me like I can’t handle that stuff. Is it, uh…Is it that you’re…”

“That I’m what?” She asked, watching him so intensely now that he had to take a breath just to steady himself.

“Okay,” he said. “Sometimes I’m scared that…I mean, sometimes it feels like, maybe, you don’t know how to talk to me anymore.”

“Antonio,” she said, and his mind jumped back to the first time he’d told her the name he’d chosen, the first time she repeated it back to him, setting it in stone for the both of them. “It’s not that. It’s just…okay, yeah, this is all new to me. I’m kinda learning as we go here. And I love you no matter what, and I want you to be happy. I’m not mom and dad. I’m not gonna try to push you back in the closet just so I can tell myself we’re a normal family. You’re my brother, and I know now—that’s who you’ve always been. It’s just...I guess I’m still getting used to the fact that I was wrong for so long.”

“Okay,” Antonio said, holding himself back from apologising, quiet and desperately proud for not saying it right there at the table. He’d apologised to their parents, to the couple of so called friends who didn’t get it, to the girlfriend who’d broken up with him, pretty much on the spot. At the first hint of her sadness, Antonio had made his apologies and left. But time had passed now, and his truth wasn’t something to apologise for anymore. He knew that now. Or, at least, there were moments when he knew it, and moments when he tried to.

Nobody deserved those apologies from him, and nobody else was going to get them. Not even Gabby.

“Just be patient with me,” Gabby said. “I really am trying.”

Antonio bristled a little, but forced a smile despite it. They’d always been close, always been the ‘Dawson Girls’ growing up, and Antonio had hated that term even before he truly understood why. He wondered if, despite knowing he was only one person, had only ever been one person, if Gabby was mourning him anyway, even as he sat opposite her.

“If you miss having a sister,” said Antonio, “just know you never really had one at all. Just the idea of it, that’s all.” Gabby made a face.

“Well, okay,” she started. “I get that, but for a long time there, that idea was my reality. It’s gonna take me longer than—“

“It’s been over a year,” Antonio said. He hadn’t expected this when they’d arranged to meet, this anger in him, the hot liquid shock of it coiling under his skin. Another living thing inside of him.

His transition was not a graveyard. He wasn’t burying his old self, wasn’t killing off some girl, someone’s daughter, someone’s sister. They hadn’t talked about it, but Gabby had mourned a little at every landmark of his transition. She’d celebrated with him of course, but he could sense the sadness in her too, quiet and hidden away. The day he came out to her, the day he started testosterone, the first day she noticed a drop in his voice. The binder he wore today was safe, and it fit him correctly, and now that he was on T it helped him pass in public, but it still felt like a prison.

Summer had passed, sticky and hot, and all the while Antonio had contended with the harsh fabric against his skin, his chest pressed impossibly flat against him, a miracle and a curse all at once. Working out was almost impossible, breathing too deeply ached, and the sight of other men effortless in tank tops, or shirtless in public—it stung him just to see it. He’d lost count of the summer days he’d spent whiled away inside, just so he didn’t have to bind in that heat, just so he didn’t have to come face to face with the things he needed to survive, and didn’t yet have.

His sister watched him from across the table, folded her arms across her chest. There was Dawson anger in her as well, and the barest hint of disappointment that only made Antonio want to get up and leave. He’d perfected that too—this instinct to run.

“Do you really think I’m like that?” Gabby asked. “You really think I’m not happy for you, just because I miss thinking I had a sister? Sometimes I do miss thinking that, but I have a brother now, and I wouldn’t change you for anything. All that stuff mom and dad think matters? It doesn’t. This does. We do.”

Antonio blinked. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s...that’s what I mean. I guess...I guess I just don’t like feeling like I’m something you have to settle for.” Gabby’s gaze hardened on him then. She was fierce, and wild—they both were, in a way, but Gabby was sharper at her edges, and stronger at her heart. Antonio swallowed hard.

“You are not a consolation prize, Antonio,” she said, and for a long moment afterwards, neither of them said anything. They just sat there, the Dawson siblings, eyes fixed on each other, just watching, waiting for one of them to break.

In the end, as was always the way among them, it was Antonio.

“Long story short,” he said, “I called you here to ask you something.”

“Sure,” said Gabby, reaching for her coffee once more, the tension going out of her, the air a little cooler and easier to breathe between them. Antonio felt his heartbeat calm a little too. He fixed his eyes on the table in front of him.

“Can I, uh…Can I stay with you for a while? After surgery I mean.” He glanced up to find Gabby smiling at him, watched as she reached across the table and punched him on the arm, as if they were kids again. “Ow.”

“Damn right you’re staying with me,” she said. “Someone’s gotta keep an eye on you.”

“There’s no one better,” he said, rubbing his arm. Gabby laughed.

“No one better to order me around,” she said, “than my big brother.”

“Will you listen to me, though?” He asked.

“Nah,” said Gabby, and clinked her cup against his before downing the rest of her coffee. “Cheers.”

#I used to think I didn't have any stories to tell about being trans #but I'm slowly learning I was wrong #Antonio Dawson #Gabriella Dawson #Chicago Fire #Chicago PD

10 notes · View notes