#schmidt is so cute aw like a puppy

[angyalikira]

five dates with mike schmidt

pairing: gn!reader x mike schmidt

genre: fluff

warnings: none

part 1/5

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

first date // pizzeria

It happened very suddenly. He didn't mean to ask you out – at least not yet – but he couldn't stop himself. His body was just rushing with adrenaline and excitement any time he was close to you.

You were at the mall, going around shopping when you saw the hot security guard. It's not the first time you have seen him, but today you decide to finally talk to him. Both of you guys were in the same coffee shop, him being right behind you waiting to order. As you tell the barista your order, you tell them that you will be buying the guy behind you his drink too. Your words were almost a whisper, wanting to keep it as a surprise a bit longer. When it was his turn to order the barista told him about your plan and he seemed taken aback by that. No one has ever done something like this for him before. Right after he orders he looks for you in the shop and when he stops you he swears his heart just flipped. You were the prettiest person he has ever seen and your cute smile had his whole face blushing. He tried to play it cool and went over to you.

"Uhm so thank you for the coffee… You sure it wasn't a mistake? I-I really just don't want you to regret it and i just wondered why you did it and-" he nervously starts to ramble but you cut him off before he can overthink it more.

"It definitely wasn't a mistake, Mister cute security guard. Your job seems draining so I thought I could make your day a little better by buying you a drink." you smile at him sweetly and his mind blanks. This feels like a dream to him.

"That's sweet… I appreciate it a lot. I infact did not have the best day today but you totally changed that now…" he admits while twiddling his thumbs as he looks at you.

As you both of your coffees are ready you try to come up with an excuse to talk to him more. It seems like he is trying to do the same thing because he keeps on opening and closing his mouth as if he wanted to say something but decided against it after all.

"So how is it being a security guard? Any difficult people you had to deal with?" you finally decide to continue the conversation.

"Uh it's okay… not too bad, not too great honestly. And yeah I had my good share of rude people. But that's part of the job." he tries to make it sound as cool as possible without trying to come off too cringy. You of course notice but find it cute.

A few more words are exchanged but it seems like you both have a difficulty to keep the conversation alive for some reason. You feel frustrated because you really wanted it to work. But if it's not meant to be then you should respect it.

"Well I have to go now, enjoy the rest of your day." You start walking away and wave as a goodbye. But before you could walk more than two steps he stops you with his words.

"Wait! Uhm I know this is sudden but… would you maybe, only if you wanted to of course, i wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable… but would you want to maybe meet up again sometime? I would love to get to know you better." he sweetly says as he looks at you with his puppy eyes. It seems like he naturally does them and it makes your heart flutter. You turn back to him and smile.

He is horrible at sudden ideas sometimes but he manages to come up with something quickly.

"I would love that. Any ideas where or when?"

"How does today sound? Once i am done with my shift? Or is that too early for you? We could also maybe do tomorrow-"

"That's perfect, so where would you take me?" you ask him as you teasingly tilt your head to the side. This does wonders to him because he gets more flustered and is even more in awe of your beauty.

"There's this great pizzeria close to here if that sounds good to you?"

"It's a plan then. Can't wait to see you after work then." You smile and wave goodbye to him. As you walk away he wonders how his day went from being so unlucky to so insanely good. His motivation levels got so high after his encounter with you and no one could ruin this day for him anymore. He even caught himself smiling at the thought of meeting you later.

After his shift he quickly gets home, showers and dresses in some nicer clothes. Nothing too cheesy but he wouldn't want to embarrass you in public with looking bad either. Abby noticed the change in his behavior and kept teasing and asking him who he was meeting up with. He of course said it's only a friend so Abby would leave him alone but she's not a stupid girl at all. Once he is on his way, he almost runs to the place in excitement. He really does not want to mess this up.

As he walks in he sees you already sitting at a table. He stops in the entryway, clearly affected by your pretty and cute outfit choice. But once your eyes meet his, he comes back to reality and joins you at your table.

"I'm so sorry that you had to wait for me… You look absolutely stunning by the way." he sheepishly admits as he scratches the back of his head.

"Thank you. You look pretty cute yourself." you tell him as you lean your head on your hand. It's like time has frozen, his eyes widen at the compliment and he gulps jn nervousness. You wish you could take a picture of him right now.

"Have you ordered yet?" he changes the topic so he can focus on your conversations again.

"No not yet. Was waiting for you." you look at him with anticipation. "So which pizza do you recommend?"

"I uh recommend the salami pizza… Or is that too basic for you?" he feels like he could've given you a cooler answer but he is bad at improvising. Especially since he eats the same type of pizza every time.

"Ohhh i love a good salami pizza. Already a plus point for you." a chuckle escapes your lips.

You guys spend the evening getting to know each other and laughing a whole lot together. Mike gets more and more comfortable with you with each second that passes and his nervousness is almost completely gone too. Only almost because he still can't believe he is on a date with such a pretty person.

As he walks you home he stays close to you in a protective manner but still in a respectable distance. Your comfort and safety is more important to him than any of his stupid feelings. Once you arrive at your doorstep he almost jumps in joy – you live pretty close to him, meaning he could easily meet up with you more easily. You turn around to face him and you feel like your breath was stolen. In the moonlight Mike looks even more handsome and his eyes are shining with so much care and appreciation. You wish you could spend even more time with him but you don't want him to lose any more sleep (after he admitted to you that he kind of struggles with his sleeping).

"I also really enjoyed today. I hope we can repeat that soon." he doesn't quite know what to say and he hopes he doesn't seem interested because he is in fact the absolute opposite of that.

"I really enjoyed today, Mike. I'm really glad now that i got the courage today to buy you your coffee." you admit as you try to maintain eye contact with the pretty man in front of you.

"I might take you up on that offer." you chuckle as you poke his chest with your index finger.

"And hey, it seems like we love pretty close by so you could pop in whenever you feel like it! You're always welcome at my place. And i'm sure Abby will like you too."

To Mike it feels like you just marked his heart as his because his heart feels like exploding once again.

He stands there starstruck for a few more moments and tries to comprehend this past evening. As he walks home, he prays that this wasn't just a lucky day.

"Good night Mike. I hope you can sleep well today and i'll see you very soon i hope." you give him one last smile, wave goodbye to him and walk inside.

[maraczeks]

new girl s1 thread pt 1

[jowritesthingss]

Excuse Me Sir This Is My Emotional Support Eldritch Being

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Pairing(s): n/a

Rating: Teen (for swearing)

Content Warning(s): rabbits, food/drink, mild(ish) swearing, not!Sasha, eldritch beings, spoilers through early s3-ish

Length: 2,190 words

Brief Summary: The archival team adopts a rabbit. (Part one of the Emotional Support Eldritch AU!)

AO3 link in reblogs bc Tumblr is a biatch!

*

“What is it?”

Jon levels a suspicious glare down at the fluffy blob comfortably stretched out in the middle of the overstuffed break room couch.

Tim blinks owlishly at him from behind his mug of tea. “A...rabbit?”

“Yes, but are you sure it’s a rabbit?” Jon asks insistently. “Not a—a spirit, or...an animated doll, or a clown in disguise or something?”

Sighing, Tim sets his tea down on the counter. “Look, I get the whole ‘suspicious of us being murderers’ thing—no I don’t, actually, but that’s beside the point—it. is. a rabbit.” For a good measure, he walks over to sit on one side of the rabbit, reaching a hand out to the little guy’s fluffy head. If a rabbit could smile, he suspects this one would be doing so as it leans up into his hand.

“No fleas or ticks...or worms, so it’s not some Jane Prentiss Pet Sematary crossover, I promise—” Tim rolls his eyes, “—the veterinarian confirmed as much when I brought the poor thing in. Out of the mud and the rain of the gutter,” he adds, not even attempting to hide the guilt-trip. He wishes Martin were here, with his ridiculously effective puppy-dog eyes.

Tim knows this is Jon he’s talking to, but surely even he can’t be that cold-hearted. He rather thinks that Jon will enjoy not being alone anymore down here during all his late nights. If he’d let himself, surely Jon would enjoy having company in the form of a teeny tiny creature that can’t and won’t harm him—which, uh, certainly is not why he’s lying about his current flat not permitting pets, no siree.

“...Fine. Whatever.” Jon points an accusing finger at him. “But we’re not keeping it,” he stresses. “The moment you find it a different home, it goes. The moment.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Tim chirps, although as he begins a staring contest with the rabbit’s curious red eyes, he has no intention of actually doing as Jon says.

Martin chooses this moment to walk through the door. His eyes light up. “Aw, is that a rabbit?”

“No, this does not mean you’re allowed to bring in more strays,” Jon snaps.

The light in Martin’s eyes fades. “Okay,” he says mournfully as he crouches to pet the rabbit, sulking.

-

“So what should we name him?” Tim asks Jon when the Head Archivist comes into the break room the next morning.

“Oh—my—” Jon startles where he stands by the counter, attempting to make himself some toast with the Archive’s horrible fifteen-year-old toaster—toast that now splatters across the floor. Somehow in his sleep-deprived stupor he must’ve missed Tim sitting on the couch with a white rabbit on his head. He never seems to really notice Tim, but at this point it’s fine enough; Tim has accepted that the guy has impossibly poor taste.

The rabbit clambers down from Tim’s shoulders, jumping off of the couch and padding over to investigate the new human(?) and the mess he made.

“How about Thumper?” Tim puzzles aloud, stretching leisurely and acting as if he doesn’t notice Jon frantically scrubbing up raspberry jam and trying to avoid the rabbit’s investigative snuffles all in one. “No, no...that’s too cliché.”

“I really don’t see the point in naming it when it shouldn’t be here more than a few weeks,” Jon comments, shooing the animal in question away before it can try to lick up any jam.

“Maybe Joe?” Tim continues loudly, as if he hadn’t heard the other. When the rabbit ambles back over to him, he scoops them up, pressing their noses together. “Ligma?” He shakes his head at the rabbit. “No, no. We need to have more sophistication as we go about this.”

“You could do with applying that sophistication to your work,” comes the grumbled retort.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Jon abruptly turns to burn another piece of bread in the toaster.

-

“How about Marshmallow?”

“What on Earth—” Jon shrieks, jumping in his desk chair, and a sheaf of papers is sent flying around the office.

“The rabbit. Should we call him ‘Marshmallow’?” Tim smiles as innocently as he can manage, standing out in the hall with his head peeping into his boss’ office. “Marshie for short?”

“I am in the middle of a statement!” Jon sputters. “Get out!”

“Okay, okay....” Tim fluidly shrugs his shoulders. “What about ‘Bob’?”

“Out!”

But Tim continues to pop into Jon’s office unannounced throughout the day, tossing out name suggestions. He even manages to rope Martin into doing it too, and notes with savage delight that between the two of them and his work, Jon doesn’t get much more than a moment to wallow rest for the remainder of the day.

Between the two of them Tim and Martin manage to compile a surprisingly long list of names:

Snowball,

Posy (Martin is partial to this one because he thinks it’s cute),

Bungen Leitner,

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt (“is that too American of a reference for a fanfic taking place in the UK?” “what?” “what?”),

the Bunholding,

Michael (Jon is especially averse to that one for some reason),

Cottonball,

Fluffy Bastard (Tim’s own favorite),

Bugs Bunny,

Eldritch Horror (Tim tosses that one in as a joke; no way the rabbit that eats his own shit is some kind of otherworldly being),

Big Bungus (“it’s a play off Big Chungus!” “d’you seriously think anyone else here even knows what memes are”), and

the Vampiric Count Sir Maximillianus-Who-Is-Also-A-Werebun

(Despite badgering Sasha multiple times in an attempt to get her thoughts on the matter, the only name she offers up is “Dinner”, which makes Martin cry, so that one is out.)

None of the names quite seem to fit the little white puffball that has now taken over the realm of their break room, however—so Tim and Martin find themselves going back to the drawing board. They reluctantly leave the Institute at the end of the day, still without having decided upon a name.

-

“JON JUNIOR!” Martin screeches excitedly the next morning as they’re congregating once more in the break room, zombie-like before their tea and mid-morning snack time (primary schools don’t get all the fun, okay).

Jon and Sasha startle, and for once even Tim himself jumps. The rabbit doesn’t seem to care much where he is, nibbling at some hay in his corner litter box.

“I—what?” Jon asks, flabbergasted, although he manages to not drop his toast this time. Character development.

“We should name him Jon Jr! After you!” Martin explains eagerly.

“Absolutely not,” Jon tries to say, but before he can finish, Tim is jumping in.

“I think that is an excellent idea,” he says, grinning broadly. “Thoughts, Sasha?”

“I’m not emotionally invested in this.” Sasha shrugs, uncaring. “I’m going back to my desk.” She takes her drink and walks out of the room, letting the door slam shut behind her.

“All right, since Sasha doesn’t care, I’ll decide her vote for her,” Tim says, carefully containing his glee. “So that’s three votes for and one against, then. Majority rules.”

“What? No!” John protests, but Tim is too busy looking at the rabbit for confirmation.

“What do you think, little guy?” He walks over, bends down, and lightly boops the rabbit’s nose. “Are you a Jon Jr?”

The rabbit twitches his nose in agreement and poops.

“Well then!” Tim stands, clapping his hands together. “That’s been decided upon.”

No, it hasn’t,” Jon insists, but Tim cares little for his boss’ objections. He’ll accept his fate as Jon Senior eventually.

-

To Tim’s utter surprise and fascination, it happens sooner than later.

Jon, Tim quickly realizes, is a lot like the one dad who says “no dog” and then ends up loving the dog more than he loves his own children.

Despite his initial objections, the daft fool ends up getting caught up in Jon Jr’s big, innocent, rabbit-y gaze (worse than even Martin’s puppy-dog eyes, they conclude gravely), and by the end of the day Friday Jon has announced that he supposes the rabbit can stay with him over weekends and holidays.

“We’re still not keeping him,” Jon reminds them all, even as the rabbit gathered in his arms, giving his nose kisses and knocking his glasses askew, says otherwise.

He gets caught trying to sneak the rabbit into his office on more than one occasion, but Martin raises a fuss about it.

(“He’s all of ours! Jon Jr is our department’s mascot now,” Martin protests defiantly. “You can’t take him away from the rest of us.”

“Yeah,” Tim adds, mostly just to stir up drama—he doesn’t particularly care one way or another. “You can’t just swoop him up and file him away like one of your statements.”

“Just don’t let it get out and chew at my electronics,” Sasha says, distractedly typing something on her phone, probably to that weird new boyfriend.)

To stave off the imminent coup, Jon Jr becomes an officially-declared resident of the break room. He slowly amasses chub around his middle and a cardboard kingdom of bunny toys, houses, blankets, and treats. A rabbit could want for nothing more.

And perhaps—perhaps a human could want for nothing more, too, Tim thinks as he looks down at the figure curled up on the sofa, rabbit nestled against his chest.

He doesn’t love the man, not by a long, long shot—doesn’t even particularly like him half the time—but Tim can’t deny that the scene is adorable. And, regardless of his very vocal protests, Jon Jr may very well be what Jon Sr needs to finally process things and move the hell on with life.

Tim smiles grimly. It’s about damn time.

He quietly closes the door to the room and heads back towards the Archives. He’ll leave Jon to wake himself up.

(And to discover for himself that Jon Jr has peed on his pants leg.)

-

Of course, this is the Archive we’re talking about, so naturally the peace is abruptly shattered, and everything goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Tim isn’t entirely certain what happens or why, but all of a sudden Sasha isn’t really Sasha, and he and Jon have gotten backed up and cornered in the tunnels as this not-really-Sasha stalks towards them, predictably with the intent to kill, just like the rest of the spooks they are so lucky to deal with.

Tim and Jon Sr slowly back away until they hit a dead end. Meanwhile, Jon Jr licks at Tim’s arm—he’d been scooped up as they ran into the tunnels, Tim doesn’t entirely know why—and despite the fact that they are most probably about to, y’know, die, the little kisses almost feel strangely reassuring.

The thing-that-is-not-Sasha cackles, her—their?—its?—voice distorted and echoing throughout the tunnels. It stalks towards them.

All of a sudden, Jon Jr wriggles loose and leaps smoothly down onto the ground. He scampers in front of Tim and Jon, heading towards bitch-give-me-my-Sasha-back.

“No! Get back here!” Tim hisses at the rabbit, even though he knows it’s pointless. He hates to admit it, but he’s becoming rather fond of Jon Jr, even if Tim mostly brought him in to piss off and totally not help Jon. Jon—who, speaking of, seems to be equally fond now, judging by the deflating tire of a terrified squeak he makes, and the adorable immature grabby arms he makes at the little bugger.

“Junior,” Jon calls out, sounding like a toddler who’d just been told Santa wasn’t real (he is, they have the statements to prove it, he is). And Tim wants to laugh, albeit hysterically. The first time he sees his brick wall of a superior cry and it’s over a rabbit, and he’s not even going to have time to gloat over it because they’re about to die. “No! You’re going to—”

Jon Jr stops and sits in front of wholly-absolutely-totally-not-Sasha-what-the-fuck, who looks down at him, bemused through its murderous bloodlust.

The rabbit lifts a dainty paw up to his mouth, and suddenly—suddenly it’s twisting and huge, towering up to the ceiling of the tunnel, its skin hairless and tinted a sickly, glowing gray, with five, six, seven...a whole lot more limbs than a rabbit is supposed to have.

The not-rabbit unhinges its now meters-long jaw and snaps up the creature.

Tim and Jon stare at each other, wide-eyed.

There is a loud gulping sound, then a deafening crack, and suddenly there is a very normal white rabbit sitting in front of them again, carefully cleaning one paw with a very normal pink tongue.

“Wh—” Tim chokes on his own words.

The holy-shit-it-really-is-an-eldritch-horror-after-all stretches, yawns, and flops over in a dead sleep.

“...We’re keeping the rabbit,” Jon says faintly.

“I—yeah.” Tim nods, light-headed. “We’re keeping the rabbit.”

-

Jon Jr the rabbit-slash-eldritch-abomination gets a very hearty dinner of romaine lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumber peels that night.

-

(Tune in next time* for the terrible, terrible realization—“Jon Jr is a girl?!” (Also why is there another dead body again, dammit, can’t we go one week))

Fin

First || Next

*

(There may or may not actually be a next time. It depends. )

Behold. What very well may be the stupidest thing I have ever written. Ahem. Did I say stupidest? I meant most brilliant. Clearly I meant it’s the most brilliant thing I have ever written. Obviously.

Let me know if you enjoyed this! I have a bunch of ideas to continue this ridiculously silly AU of sorts, but idk if I’m going to quite yet and am not certain that I’ll be continuing to write for TMA. atm I’m focused on a different fandom, and I’m only on s3, so the really big idea I had has to wait, anyway.

Want to chat or be added onto any of my taglists? Shoot me an ask or a message here or via my other social media!

[simplyadorkable-blog1]

Mario - Reaction

Nick's plan to propose to Jess is thrown off course when they decide to get a dog; Winston sees color for the first time.

Reaction:

Brace yourselves, this one is pure reactions. Like no recap at all. Pure, unfiltered thought as it should be.

Aw, Winnie gets to see color! He only sees brown though?? Hahahha I mean I guess he did say his green shoes were brown that one time

So they’re all going to have sex at the time time, separately?

Jess wanting a dog so much seems so out of the blue, but I guess a lot happens in three years. It’s all very “puppy in a cup”!

Not shocked Nick is waiting last-minute to propose to Jess. May as well torture me more.

Hahaha Nick goes for the laugh…. “Except for the ground,” so morbid, Winnie

Jess is so overly emotional about this dog for a second I thought they were going to announce that she was pregnant,

I love how exasperated Nick is becoming with this proposal, his grumpiness has officially become endearing. Who am I kidding, it’s always been endearing!

Omg Winnie seeing in color for the first time. So cute! Every single second is magical. I’m so happy for him! But why did he even try to solve a Rubix cube?

Cece wanting to get pregnant makes me nervous. Ruth was a caramel miracle. But it would line up with Hannah being pregnant if they flash forward in the last two episodes. WAIT. LAST TWO EPISODES. Brb crying.

Pregnant Cece is terrible, oh my!

Love the dynamic between Nick, Bob Day, and Annabelle the hostess… comedy genius I tell you!

Jess carrying Mario around makes me really wish we’d could get some normal domestic scenes with them all together

So glad Aly had that video of Cece being a constant terror. But now I’M scared!

Wow Nick really does answer that question quickly. I know he’s antsy, but that wasn’t the move, Nicholas.

Schmidt and Cece going to the loft to have sex is so insane and perfectly them. Always having sex where they shouldn’t be, those two! Serves them right to be chased by Mario!

And here we are. The best part of the whole episode. The part that made me cry. It’s that damn song, it gets me everytime! So let me set the scene, Jess and Nick and running after Mario in the park, who ran away from the dog adoption lady. Winston and Aly are also at the park for a film festival. Cece and Schmidt are there because they were with Nick and Jess at the loft. Nick catches the dog. Also, “Mario Day-Miller”?? CRYING MORE NOW.

Then Jess catches on to what Nick was trying to do. And then It happens!! I cried. I died. And when Jess says she wants to have babies with him. Ugh it’s so perfect. And the song! Ugh ugh ugh! Love!

Overall this episode reminded me of the good old days. Why does it have to be the end?? It was just perfect! We’ve been waiting so long for this proposal and I’m so glad we got it.

Favorite quotes:

“I have made extremely elaborate plans. I’ve lined up a babysitter, booked a hotel room, commissioned a new negligee, custom-made by a Japanese man that I found on EtsyXXX. I can’t wait for Cece to see me in it.” —Schmidt

“He said if I missed the deadline, my buttocks are gravy.” —Nick

“Everything is different colors..” —Aly

“I hate blue so much.’” —Winston

“Tell your genitals to get their affairs in order.” —Cece

“You’re not red, like, stop, you know what I mean?” —Winston

“I’d love to be the first person to show you a raincoat.” —Schmidt

“A real slobber goblin, right, huh?” —Schmidt

“Jessica Day, will you marry me?” —Nick

Predictions:

Sobbing

Still sobbing

I don’t want it to end