#scene so fuckin long i can prolly do 2 more of these

[cheswirls]

adding a little more to this one :)

-

When he leaves the room, it’s to trek immediately over to the charge nurse so she can let the attending physician know their patient is awake. He talks to her in hushed tones, keeping what he can on the down-low. But Mansherry has always been considerate and conscientious in what she learns about people under their care, so Sabo knows oversharing with her won’t be an issue. Bonney would never find out.

“Since she’s awake, there’s two young men that need to speak to her.” Mansherry gestures with her pen to the policeman lounging on hard seats out of the way of staff bustling around the room. “Would you like to introduce yourself, or should I inform them?”

He swallows thick. “No, I’ll take care of it.”

“Alright.” She moves back to start typing something into her computer. “I’ll see who’s free to check on her. Her surgeon is still in the operating room with another patient.”

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and then he stands to full height. He leaves his clipboard with her for safekeeping and makes his way over to the officers.

“Evening.” He does his best to smile, hand extended. “My name is Sabo. I’ve been told you’re here after a patient of mine?”

He pulls back after they both shake his hand, waiting until they stand up to move back one polite step. 

“The young girl,” one of the officers confirms. “We just have to follow-up on a report to make sure there’s no legal trouble. She’s awake now?”

Sabo nods, barely able to do so before the other one speaks up.

“Did she tell you anything? Kids like her are more likely to trust you and your kind than people like us.”

That wording rubs Sabo the wrong way. He gives himself a moment to answer so he doesn’t sound so irritated. Better not snap a response at someone just doing their job. “She told me the extent of what happened, yes.”

“And?”

And what? “I’m not at liberty to say,” he answers as politely as he can manage.

The first officer speaks up again, now frowning at Sabo’s response. “Privacy laws don’t apply for minors if their safety is in jeopardy–”

“Or if a crime has been committed,” the second officer mutters.

Sabo pastes a smile onto his face. “Neither of those is a concern. If you’d like to talk with her directly, I can bring you to her room.”

As if sensing they won’t get anything else out of him, both of them agree to this without further question. Sabo shows them to Bonney’s room and then cuts back across the floor to Mansherry. “I need to borrow the landline.”

“No, you don’t.” She looks up from her typing and gestures to the clipboard he’d left behind. “I already called her parents. Luckily it wasn’t that hard to find a phone number. Did you know her mom is employed here in the hospital? She’s a nurse tech in the pediatric ward.”

“I didn’t.” He sighs, hand to his forehead. “What did you tell them?”

“Relax. I told them exactly what you were planning to. Their daughter was in an accident and was admitted for emergency surgery, and is now stable with pending discharge. Dr. Water-Trafalgar is going to take a look at her and come to a decision. The other Trafalgar is still in surgery.”

“Alright.” That was fine, then. “Did they say how long it would take them to get here?”

“No, but I’ll page you when I hear from the front desk.” She hands him back his papers. “The doctor will want that. I imagine she’ll also want you to fetch Bonney’s parents, but you can ask to be the one to do so if necessary. I’ll hold off on sending for them until I hear otherwise.” She perks up, looking past Sabo. “You should go check on her again.”

He looks over his shoulder to see both officers shuffling out from behind the curtain. Both of them look more frustrated than they’d been when talking to Sabo. He heeds Mansherry’s advice, giving the two a wide berth on his way back to Bonney.

When he pulls the curtain to the side, Bonney flinches. Her eyes grow wide when she sees it’s him. 

“Sabo, stay with me,” she whines. “I don’t want to be alone again.”

“I’m sorry.” He hurries closer, eyeing her near-empty morphine drip and half-empty saline bag. “Were they mean to you?”

“No, no. But I didn’t tell them anything. Just like you said I could, right?”

“Right,” he assures her. He’s near enough that she can bunch her hands into his scrubs and drag him closer. She sits up on her legs, maneuvering until her head is pressed to his middle, arms circling his waist. 

He raises his hands, not knowing what to do in this situation. “Do you . . . Are you in pain?” he tries.

“No,” she whimpers.

“Okay.” He puts the clipboard to the side and settles both hands on either of her shoulders. “It’s okay now.” He pats her, twice, in what he hopes is a consoling gesture. He’s trying so hard to remain professional. He’s really out of his depth here. “Your parents are on their way.”

At this, she leans back, wide violet eyes looking up at him. “You talked to them?”

“Not personally, but I will before they come back here to see you. Do I need to say anything to them for you? They’ve already been informed you were in an accident.”

“Bet that doesn’t make them worry less,” Bonney mumbles, finally pulling back entirely. She sighs and moves to collapse against the pillows. “Ow,” she groans, raising her right hand. “This hurts.”

That’s probably the point of pain she should be feeling the least about now, which is telling. “We’re trying to get you discharged soon, so there’s no point in doing another dose of morphine. You’ll have to wait until your saline drip is done anyway.” He looks around the small space and smiles victoriously when he finds a measurement cup he’d previously overlooked. “If you’re feeling up to it, I have a pain pill here you can take.” He picks up the small cup, glancing down in it to make sure it’s nothing strong or with codeine that might indicate it’s for when she’s released. “How’s your throat?”

“Sore, but I can swallow.” She reaches a hand out. “Gimme.”

Sabo obliges, handing her her water as well. Bonney starts hacking when she sips too fast from her straw, but she recovers without any intervention. She does wince at her harsh breathing, all the movement probably pulling at her side. Sabo is a bit curious to see what the state of her dressing is, but he tries to temper this, knowing he’ll probably be ushered out of the room when it’s time to check.

He takes the water and empty cup and sets them to the side to let Bonney lie back again. 

“My friend has my phone,” she says suddenly, gazing up at the ceiling. “I left it in the car.”

“For you sake, I hope he did too.” Sabo shrugs when she glances at him questioningly. “I bet it’s rung more than once from people concerned about you. If it’s not on him, or somewhere he can’t hear, it’ll save him some guilt.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She sighs again, though she’s smiling now. “I think you’re the most logical person I’ve ever met, Mr. Sabo.”

“What an honor,” he mutters amusedly. “But you can drop the ‘mister’, please.”

“What are you in school for?” she asks, attention (and bright, vibrant eyes) back on him. “You said earlier that you’re almost done, right?”

“Almost,” he agrees. “I want to be a trauma surgeon one day.”

“Oh yeah?” She perks up, lifting her head up off the pillows. “Did you help with mine?”

He laughs. “I didn’t directly, but I was in the operating room. I’ll have to be in residency to assist with a surgery like yours was.”

“What’s that? Rese-somethin’.”

“Residency? Hm.” He closes his eyes briefly, trying to recall what Ace had phrased it as once. “It’s . . more specialized medical training you go through after med school. You have to have so many years of practice depending on what medical field you go into before you can take an exam to be licensed.”

“Huuuh. How many years for surgery?”

He raises his hand, fingers spread. “Five, at minimum. If it’s a specific type of surgery, then it’s more.”

Bonney looks him up and down, then frowns. “That’s so long! You’ll be an old man before you’re a doctor for real!”

Sabo blinks, caught off-guard, then turns on his heel to muffle a laugh into his palm. He hasn’t heard something so absurd in a long time. He recovers enough to respond. “Not true! I’ll be practicing before I’m thirty. That’s not old!”

Bonney looks at him funny, then sticks her tongue out. “My mom is thirty. She’s definitely old.”

Sabo almost gets whiplash from this information. He does his best to remain composed. Bonney keeps talking but he’s not really listening, trying to dissect this fact with everything else he knows. Her mom works in pediatrics. Her biological mother? Did she really have Bonney when she was fift–

“Oh, perfect, you seem pretty chipper for someone who’s just had surgery.”

Sabo snaps from his thoughts as the curtain swings open behind him. Bonney stops talking too, snapping her jaw shut so hard she cringes. She looks from Sabo to the woman who’s just stepped in, both hands in either pocket of her white coat.

Dr. Water-Trafalgar turns to the wall and her smile fades at the sight of the empty bin where Bonney’s charts should be. Ah shit.

Sabo scrambles to grab the clipboard from the side table. He takes out a pen to jot down when he’d given Bonney the aspirin, but he’s only barely got the time written without any context when it’s taken from his hands.

“Thank you!” The doctor chirps with a bright smile. 

“Of course,” Sabo stammers, trying not to grimace. He can’t tell if she’s annoyed at being inconvenienced and is covering it well, or if she’s actually nonchalant like this. He doesn’t usually interact with the Mrs. Trafalgar, more often getting her husband’s rotations instead.

He observes as she scans the file, eyes roving the page swiftly. Before she can turn to the next page, she hums and reaches up to fish a bright-colored wrapper out from under the clip.

She moves to Bonney’s cot and from behind, Sabo can see one piece of her hair has fallen loose from her ballerina bun, hanging down just below her neck. Surely it’s not on purpose, but he doesn’t want to point it out in case it is. But surely it’s not–

“Here you go!” she says, dropping the candy into Bonney’s hand. “Looks like someone forgot to hand that off.”

“Oh wow, thanks!” Bonney pops the hard candy into her mouth immediately. 

“Mhmm.” She glances over the rest of the sheets and then hangs the clipboard on the wall where it’s supposed to be. “Okay Ms. Bonney, here’s my plan. Since you’re about done with that morphine, I’m going to get you a bottle of some good pain medicine to take home with you. I’ll write it for one refill if you decide you need more. You seem to be in good health, and there weren’t any complications from your operation, so after I change your dressing you’ll be good to go home.”

Bonney nods, still sucking on her candy, but she does throw out a thumbs-up with this doesn’t seem to be sufficient enough for the doctor.

“Works for me!” She turns to Sabo next. “The stitches shouldn’t need changing, so I can fix her up and remain sterile by myself. Will you grab Otohime and give her this?” She fishes out a script from her pocket. “I told her to bottle a set dose of Tramadol already, so this will just be confirmation. If you come back quick enough, you can be my second set of hands.” She winks.

“Absolutely,” Sabo answers, tucking the script in his palm. “I’ll be back shortly.”

Before he leaves, Bonney hums in displeasure from behind. “Hurry back,” she mutters, pointedly not looking at him when he glances over his shoulder.

Dr. Water-Trafalgar giggles at the pair, then waves him off. Sabo leaves without saying anything else.

xx preview :)

-

Her hand slowly falls from his chest once her breathing has returned to normal. “My parents–”

“Are probably worried,” Sabo finishes, not letting her close that train of thought with what she’d asked previously. “We should call them, hm? Let them know where you are.”

She looks away, biting her lip to betray her nerves, and Sabo tries something else.

“You don’t have to talk to them just yet. We can pretend you’re still asleep, if you’d like. That way they get updated and you go home faster.”

She takes the words in and does another cursory look around the room. Then she points to herself. “Who else was in here when I woke up?”

He smiles. “Just me.”

“Then.” She swallows. “Can we pretend I’m still asleep for everyone out there?” She points to the curtain. “Just for a little bit longer?”

Smart girl. If she’s still unconscious, then they still have no one to contact. His smile widens. “Tell you what. If you give me your name, I’ll keep your secret for another hour. Then we’ll call your parents together. Deal?”

“Yeah, okay.” She nods slowly. “It’s Bonney. Bartholomew Bonney.”

“Spell it,” Sabo says, and quickly pens it out on her forms as she does so. “Perfect. Let me check a few more things, Bonney, then I’ll let you get some more rest.”

“Do you have water?” she asks. “My throat is all scratchy.”

That makes sense, considering the tube she’d had down her esophagus during surgery. He confirms and rises to grab the cup he’d filled with ice water earlier, turning the straw in her direction and letting her take the plastic in both hands before releasing it. 

“How old are you, Bonney?”

She moves her lips from the straw to answer. “Fifteen!”

Hm. Younger than he’d thought. “Do you know your weight?”

“Forty-three, I think? Mm!” She perks up. “And a hundred and fifty-two centimeters!”

“Very good.” Sabo smiles as he scribbles the numbers in. “Blood type?”

“Oh.” Bonney shakes her head. “I don’t know that one. Mom is type A, if that helps?”

“That’s fine.” He leaves the box blank. “We had you on O when we did your transfusion. Nothing wrong with that if we need another.”

“Transfu-what?” She makes a face. “Is that what this is?” She points to where the needle is embedded in her right wrist.

“Close!” Sabo clicks his pen and leans forward. “You’re on a morphine drip, so that would be an infusion. A blood transfusion is where you get new blood pushed into your veins.”

“Huh.” Her eyes drop, Sabo notices, to his nametag. She mouths it twice before trying to say it aloud. “Anything else, doctor Say-bo?”

“Sah-bo,” he corrects lightly. Bonney flushes and he chuckles, finally leaning back. “I’m not a doctor yet. I’m actually finishing up medical school. This is one of my final rotations.” He sets the clipboard down and puts her water cup to the side when she moves it in his direction. “Let me check your eyes real quick.”

“Huuuh.” Bonney leans back, lost in thought. “Saaaaaaaaabo,” she tries again, drawing the vowel out. “Wait, my eyes? What for?”

“Checking pupil response.” He returns to her side with a light in hand. “I want to walk you through a few things to make sure your brain is working properly.”

Bonney carefully keeps her eyes wide as he shines the light into each, doing her best to hold still. “Did something happen to my head? I don’t remember hitting it or anything.”

Sabo puts the light away and uses her left hand to test some motor skills. “Not physically, in that case. We weren’t sure, so we were being careful. Always good to be cautious.” He clears his throat, trying to think of a simple way to explain the next bit. “When you lose a lot of blood, your body can’t resupply any to your brain as quickly as it can to other areas. Too much blood loss for too long starts to affect how your brain functions, so I just want to make sure things are normal.” He has her do one more thing and then smiles, satisfied. “Which they appear to be.”

“Oh, goodie.” Bonney leans back again with a big sigh, the tension dropping from her shoulders in a comical manner. She sits quietly while Sabo scribbles notes onto her file. 

Sabo doesn’t consider the quiet a bad thing until it’s not quiet before, Bonney sniffling behind his back. He looks over his shoulder and stops writing in alarm when he sees fat tears streaming down her face. Her hands are clenched into the thin sheet she’s pulled up to her waist, and her legs are curled up so her knees are even with her neck.

Sabo sets the clipboard down and hurries over. “Does it hurt?” he asks, referring to her side. Her new position leaves her torso straightened out enough to where it shouldn’t really bother her, so he leaves her be instead of trying to uncurl her.

“No,” she chokes. “I just–” She bites back a sob. “I’m so stupid! I don’t know what I’m going to tell my dad.”

Sabo minutely relaxes and does his best not to sigh. He’s not . . . really great at this aspect of patient care. But, well, he’s done alright with her so far. And her hour wasn’t up yet. It wouldn’t be fair for him to grab someone else to better console her after he’d already made her that promise.

He settles heavily on the free space on the cot and tries to think about what Ace would do. Ace had always been better with kids than Sabo. He’d come home from his rotation in pediatrics and talk Sabo’s ear off about how much the staff loved him; meanwhile, that same staff had barely tolerated Sabo during his own rotation in year three. (It was fine, he’d decided after brooding about it for long enough. People had different strengths, and working with young people clearly wasn’t one of his. At least not at this point in his life.)

Sabo isn’t Ace, though, and Ace isn’t here to tell him what to do. He has to figure out what works for him.

“You can always tell me first,” he starts with. “If that makes it easier. I’m bound under oath, so anything you say to me will stay between us.” A little white lie won’t hurt. Not if it earns her trust, anyway.

Bonney looks conflicted about this prospect. She’s still crying, quiet hiccups shaking her form. But she’s looking at him like she’s thinking over the offer. Her arms move up to wrap around her knees. She winces when the movement pulls at her side.

“I won’t think you’re stupid, no matter what happened,” he tries, lowering his voice to try and be softer. “I’m just here to help, remember? Maybe telling someone will be good for you, too.”

Bonney’s head drops to her knees in defeat. She nods, the motion pulling at her hair. “Okay.”

Sabo wants to take her legs and jerk them so they’re straight, if only to fix her posture so she’s not aggravating her wound. He resists, though, not wanting to risk her retreating into her shell. Instead he sits there calmly, hands in lap, waiting for Bonney to pick her head up and start her story.

“I was messing around with a friend,” she mumbles, voice hollow. “He brought one of his parent’s handguns to try out, and we were just having fun trying it out.” She lifts her left arm and mimes a shot. “The, uh, recoil? It was awful, especially because I’m so scrawny. So he helped me with a shot, except I got stubborn about it, and between the two of us we discharged the gun.” Her hand drifts back to her side. She’s crying again, voice warbling the more wet her face gets. 

“I told him it wasn’t his fault but he wouldn’t listen. He drove me up here when we couldn’t stop the bleeding, and he wanted to come in with me, and I made him leave because I didn’t want him to get in trouble!” She starts sobbing again, breathing erratically, shoulders and entire body shaking with the effort. 

Sabo didn’t want to scare her, so he hadn’t said it, but having a minor with a GSW meant they had to let law enforcement know there’d been an incident. They’d probably come in to talk to Bonney after Sabo leaves and everyone is alerted that she’s conscious. To know that there wasn’t an actual crime involved is . . it’s a strange comfort, at present.

“He won’t get in trouble,” Sabo promises. “You don’t . . .” He hesitates, visibly, but Bonney’s attention is on him now, so he continues. “You don’t have to tell anyone else what happened if you don’t want to. That’s between you and him.”

She bites her lip again, shakes her head. “My parents won’t like–”

“I don’t mean them. Or, just them,” Sabo amends. “I’m talking about anyone else in this hospital. Anyone at all. No matter who they are. I’m glad you told me, because if something had happened that we didn’t know about, and it was information that we needed in order to treat you, then it would be very important to know. But we’ve already pulled the bullet out of you, and your life isn’t in danger, so this stays between us. Okay?”

Bonney nods frantically.

Sabo can’t resist, so he tacks on, “if you end up in an emergency situation again, you should always let a medical professional know how you got injured. They’ll keep it to themselves – they have to – and the more information there is to go off of, the better treatment you’ll receive in the end.”

Bonney nods more. She’s sniffling, and still sorta crying, but she’s not being as loud about it, like she’s trying to stop. 

“And–” He can’t believe he’s about to offer to do this, but he hates seeing her so miserable. “–if you need me to tell your parents for you, then I can try. But considering it was an accident, it might be better for you to try yourself.”

“Yeah, okay,” Bonney whispers. “But do you– Um. Do you think you could tell them it was an accident? So they don’t worry?”

“I can do that,” Sabo promises. “Are you ready to let them know you’re here?”

“Yes,” she mumbles, crowding her face close to her knees again. “And some more water, please.”

Sabo does her one better: he brings her a handful of tissues and a full cup of cold water. While she fixes her face, muttering a thanks to him before blowing her nose, Sabo tucks her chart safely under his arm.

“I’ll be right back, Bonney.”

[hisgoodgirl666]

For the ask meme! 2, 3, 6, 7! (And maybe more to come 👀)

2. Roughest scene you've done?

he kinda surprised me coming in the bedroom while it was dark/i was half asleep and he had a ski mask and gloves on and uhh basically he just had his fuckin way and tossed me around for a good while..… yeah 🥴

3. A scene you fantasize about that you can’t do irl?

i wish i could get beat, but unfortunately i’m a pussy when it comes to pain… 😭 i can take some for sure (even used to self harm) but not nearly what id fantasize about actually doing irl, let alone the much more problematic bleeding everywhere and broken bones kinda thing that’s not really possible.

i also enjoy the thought of getting beat anyway specifically despite my low threshold, just bc being beyond my limit and actually being scared & hurt makes him hard and entertains him… so that’d prolly go in this category haha

ps also just ya know getting grabbed by a stranger in public and dragged off and raped and held captive and made to develop Stockholm syndrome and all that fun stuff. 😋 tbh most of the noncon stuff on this blog would probably qualify here lmao

6. How do you bring up a new kink you want to try with your partner?

idk i just kinda bring it up when it feels right? we’ve been together a long time so we have a good feel of each other. maybe test the waters first with some discreet questions… and then i buy a ski mask and throw it at him and run away hahah [dw we do actually talk]

7. Anything you’ve tried that you ended up hating?

i wouldn’t say hate, no!

thank you!! 🖤

[turtle-steverogers]

Departed Chap 6 Pt 2

Ship: Slow burn Sprace

Warnings: Flashback type thing. Albert being a dumbass

Spot was shocked awake by the sound of loud banging at his apartment door. He closed his eyes, willing whoever was knocking to go away. It was Christmas morning for chrissakes, couldn’t he sleep?

The knocking persisted and he felt Race groan against his chest, “Spottie, go get that and tell whoever it is to shut the fuck up.”

Spot pulled himself from Race’s embrace and stumbled out of his bedroom. Whoever was at the door was still knocking.

“Shut up, I’m comin’!” Spot shouted. He opened the door and was greeted with Albert and Finch, both wearing reindeer antlers.

“Merry fuckin’ Christmas!” Albert exclaimed, smiling brightly.

“Albert Schuyler DaSilva, it is too early for you to-”

“We brought Christmas breakfast,” Finch cut in, holding up a dish with a basket of bagels balanced on top.

Spot held the door open wider, “I hope ya know m’only lettin’ you guys in cuz you brought food. Any other circumstance I’d have slammed the door in ya faces.”

“Oh, we know,” Albert said, making his way to Spot’s bedroom, “ANTONIO HIGGINS, GET THE FUCK UP! IT’S CHRISTMAS!”

“FUCK YOU, ALBERT!”

Albert walked over to where Spot and Finch were setting the table, “He’ll be comin’.”

Sure enough, Race walked out of the bedroom two minutes later, wearing an old Christmas sweater, “Hey, Finch?”

“Yeah?”

“Your boyfriend is awful.”

“I know,” Finch said, leaning over and kissing the offended look off of Albert’s face.

The four boys dug into the feast, “Y’all doin’ anythin’ today?” Albert asked, mouth full of cinnamon roll.

“Don’t eat with your mouth full, love,” Finch piped up.

Albert frowned and swallowed, “So are y’all?”

“We’re gonna go down to Rockefeller Center ta see the big tree,” Spot said, spreading cream cheese onto a bagel.

“We are?” Race cocked his head.

“Oh yeah, forgot to ask ya,” Spot said, “Hey, Race, wanna go see the big tree in Rockefeller Center?”

Race rolled his eyes, “Yeah, Spot, I’ll go see the big tree with ya.”

Spot kicked him under the table and Race laughed, “Anyway, yeah that’s our plan. What about you guys?”

Finch shrugged, “Nothin’ really. Prolly gonna watch some Christmas movies and make cookies.”

“You guys can come see the tree with us if ya want,” Spot offered, “I was thinkin’ of goin’ around 8 ish.”

Albert and Finch exchanged a glance, “Okay, sure.” Albert said, “Y’all are welcome to come make cookies with us before.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Race said, cheerfully.

The table was cleared not long afterward and Spot and Race went to get dressed while Albert and Finch relaxed in the living room. Spot tugged off his pajama shirt and pants, then rummaged through his drawers for a clean long-sleeved shirt. The door to the bathroom opened and Spot thanked the heavens that he was wearing boxer briefs at the moment.

“Oh shit, Spot, sorry. Shoulda made sure you were decent,” Race spluttered, turning an impressive shade of red.

Spot hastily pulled on a pair of jeans, “S’fine, man. S’not like you haven’t seen me in a swimsuit or somethin’ before.”

“Dude, Tae Kwon Do is makin’ you ripped,” Race blurted. His eyes widened when he realized what he had just said, “I am fuckin’ up so badly right now, so I’ma jus’, uh, walk out of the room.”

Spot watched, half-amused and thoroughly flustered as Race backed out of his bedroom. He blinked a few times to compose himself, then pulled on a grey sweater that he’d forgotten he owned before exiting his room as well.

“Cookie time!” Albert cheered. They made the short walk across the hall to Albert and Finch’s apartment. Upon entry, Albert and Race made a beeline to the fridge and pulled out two packs of Pillsbury Christmas tree cookies.

“These are better than drugs and no one can convince me otherwise,” Race said, ripping open a pack and placing them on a cookie tray that Albert had supplied.

“I agree with that statement and I’m a strong believer in weed solving all of life’s problems.” Albert said, earning a scoff from Race.

Spot and Finch sat in the living room as the other two boys baked the cookies.

“How’s Race been?” Finch asked after several minutes of comfortable quiet.

Spot shrugged, “He has his ups and downs. He’s still avoiding talkin’ about Melissa too much, which kinda worries me.”

“That’s valid, ‘specially after the way he reacted when she showed up at ya door like a freaky bitch.”

Spot scoffed, “That about sums her up- and yeah, she’s definitely affected him way more than he lets on.”

“I wonder if it’s not necessarily that he’s afraid of lookin’ weak or sum, rather he jus’ doesn’t wanna acknowledge that he went through somethin’ like that,” Finch said, thoughtfully, “I remember when Al was in that car crash n’ he lost his brother, he refused to talk about it for months. When he finally did, it was like he was truly acceptin’ it for the first time...God that was messy.”

Spot frowned, he remembered the several months following Albert’s accident. It had been their freshman year of college and for a while, Albert had seemed like nothing but a shell of the charismatic person he usually was. His brother, Henry, had been the closest person to him and losing him had near killed him. What Race had gone through had not been of the same nature as Albert’s experience, but it definitely had instilled a similar trauma into him.

“Yeah, it would make sense if it’s somethin’ like that,” Spot said, “I guess he’ll talk when he’s ready.”

“Time is all ya can give these kinds of thing,” Finch sighed.

“I suppose.”

Albert and Race came out with a plate full of cookies, “Movie marathon time!” Race said, “Albert and I made a list of the movies we’re watchin’ today. First is a Christmas Story.”

XXX

At 7:45, the four boys were gearing up to go. Finch had suggested they make hot cocoa to bring, so they all were carrying Christmas themed thermoses that they had found in the apartment.

“I’m so excited,” Race said as he pulled on the hat that Spot had let him keep after their ice skating excursion, “I haven’t been ta see the tree in years.”

“I’ve never been,” Albert admitted.

Spot turned to him in shock, “You’re tellin’ me you’ve lived in New York City all your life and you haven’t seen the big tree?”

“I’ve only been livin’ here since I was fourteen and I’ve been,” Finch added.

“My parents weren’t big on Christmas, okay? Not my fault,” Albert huffed.

Race laughed and clapped him on the back, “No worries, brother. We’re here to help ya lose your Rockefeller Center Tree virginity.”

“Why d’you hafta word things the way you do?” Spot asked and Race wrinkled his nose, pulling his scarf on.

They arrived at Rockefeller Center to find it bustling with people. The tree looked magnificent. It towered over the square, lighting it up with brilliant white lights. A soft blue glow was spread across the ice skating rink directly under where the tree stood, adding a mystical aura to the area. Spot glanced over to Race, who was staring in awe up at the tree. The blue glow reflected in his eyes, making them impossibly bluer. The lights from the tree reflected off his fair skin and Spot couldn’t help but think how beautiful he looked as he stood, completely enraptured by the scene before him. Race turned his head and made eye contact with Spot.

He smiled and reached out to hold onto one of Spot’s hands, “Spot, this is beautiful. I’m really glad we came.”

“I am too,” Spot said. Race stepped closer to Spot’s side and laced their fingers together. They stood, sipping their hot cocoa and taking in the sights and sounds of New York City on Christmas for what felt like an eternity.

Their peace was interrupted however by the sounds of several cars honking loudly. Race jumped, his hot cocoa mug slipping from his hands and spilling it’s contents down the front of Spot’s shirt.

“Shit! Ow,” Spot exclaimed, jumping backwards.

“Fuck, Spot I’m so sorry,” Race said, backing away, “I-I’m sorry, I-” His breath hitched and Spot looked up from his shirt to see Race with his eyes squeezed shut, covering his mouth with one hand. From where he stood, he could tell Race was shaking. He doubled over slightly and Spot forced himself to recover from his shock. He carefully walked towards where Race was standing, reminding himself not to touch him. People were starting to stare and Spot glanced around to look for some kind of cover. There were a few storefronts a little ways away that looked pretty vacant, so he decided to aim for those.

“Hey Race, canya hear me?” He asked, working to keep his tone soothing and not at all accusatory. Race didn’t answer and Spot cursed to himself.

Albert and Finch materialized by his side, “What happened?” Finch asked, alarmed.

“He spilled his hot cocoa on me,” Spot answered, his attention still directed towards Race, who was visibly crying now, “Racer, c’mon. Are ya hearin’ me?”

Race backed up another step, “I-I’m sorry,” Spot heard him whisper.

Spot stepped closer, “Antonio, I needya ta listen. C’mon, I promise I’m not mad and I’m not gonna touch ya. Canya please hear me?” Spot begged. He felt helpless.

Albert stepped tentatively next to Spot, “I think he’s havin’ like a flashback sorta thing. I used ta get ‘em after..ya know. Can I try to-” He gestured towards Race and Spot nodded. Albert walked carefully over to Race so he was standing right next to him.

“Race,” He said, softly, “It’s me, Albert. Jus’ me n’ you here. I promise that’s all that’s happenin’. Canya open your eyes, please? I promise, it’s Albert. You can open your eyes and you’ll be safe.”

Spot watched as Race blinked open his eyes. He flinched violently before making eye contact with Albert. The relief that flitted across his features broke Spot’s heart.

Albert continued, “Nice job, dude. Think we can move somewhere a lil’ quieter? I think that might make ya feel better.”

Race nodded and the two of them weaved through the crowd towards the storefronts Spot had noticed earlier. Finch and him exchanged a look before hurrying after them. They got caught behind a few groups of people and by the time they got to the other two, Race had stopped crying.

“You good, man?” Finch asked, sympathetically.

Race shrugged, “Yeah, m’better. Sorry ‘bout your shirt, Spot.”

“It’s okay, Race, I swear ta ya I ain’t mad or nothin’.” Race nodded.

“Why don’t we head back?” Albert suggested.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Spot agreed.

Back at the apartment, Spot waited in the bedroom while Race took a shower. He mentally replayed what Albert had done to help Race in case he’d ever have to get Race through a bad situation again, though he prayed to anyone who could be listening that he wouldn’t. Race emerged from the bathroom looking drained. He sat down on the bed by Spot’s feet.

“I want to talk about it. I want to share more than I have,” He paused and took a deep breath, “I need to talk it out, I know that I won’t get past it if I don’t. It just-” His voice cracked and Spot sat up to run a hand up and down his back, “It just hurts so goddamn much. She hurt me so goddamn much and I don’t wanna live it again by talking about it.”

Even from his space behind him, Spot could tell that Race was holding back tears.

He stopped rubbing his back and reached for one of Race’s hands, “Talk about it when you’re ready. I’m here to listen whenever that is. You’re not alone, Race. You’re not goin’ through this alone.”

“I’m sorry I ruined Christmas- and your shirt.”

“You didn’t ruin anythin’, Race. Nothin’ that happened tonight was your fault.”

Race gave a watery laugh, “What did I do to deserve you, Spot?”

“You deserve everything good, Race. You deserve support and help and love.”

Race didn’t answer. Instead, he gave Spot’s hand a squeeze and laid back against his chest. Spot lifted his free hand and carded it through Race’s hair. He began to softly hum under his breath until he could feel Race’s breath even out into sleep- finally looking at peace.

TAG LIST: @bencookisagod @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable @aw-jus-let-em-spook @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @thatpoorguysheadisspinning @newsies-of-nyc @andthewoildwillknow

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 22

THE 03/17/17 UPDATE

HERE WE GO, finally an update with a BUNCH of pages for me to comment about. Page 115-126, how exciting. God I need to get better with intro’s I’m sorry.

Heh, I like how everybody’s emotions are clear as day here. Anyways, nobody new’s here which makes me hope that this cast of characters will continue to interact and mingle.

W o ah there, calm yourself Vriska. She’s not lookin pleased with Tavvy over there. Also, I love how this is literally the exact same panel other than Vriska.

VRISKA: Wh8t?! VRISKA: The hell are all of you st8ring at???????? MEENAH: 38/

WHAT? IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO PASS OUT DURING A LIFE-THREATENING BATTLE AGAINST AN UNKILLABLE GOD.

Fish gills changed a bit. This animation is also g re a t. I could literally watch Vriska just dust herself off for hours. God that sounded creepy. Fefefri is seeminnnn a lil taken aback here. And Meenah is real disappointed. Or just looking away to please Vriska, which would be cute but is probably not the case.

I love how not good Vriska is at recovering from embarrassing moments.

Oooohhh shit. Le’s behind the Juju im guessing, but that green hole is gettin closer and closer. They might need to start getting out of here soon.

VRISKA: What the hell just HAPPENED?

Homestuck happened.  And you passed out.

Tavros raising his hand like a student. He would totally be the kind of student the teacher always has to pander to, even though the rest of the class is tired of hearing the same thing explained over and over.

TAVROS: dO YOU MEAN, tHE EXPLOSION,,,? TAVROS: oR,,, TAVROS: WAS IT AN ATTACK? TAVROS: iT WAS HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE, TAVROS: sO MAYBE IT DOESN’T MATTER,,,

Was that explosion he’s talking about just the LE mouth blast? I think it’s an attack Tavros. Less of an explosion than it was a beam with boomy results.

VRISKA: Tavros, stop. VRISKA: Just, stop. Right now. I’m already twice over the limit of how much 8ullshit I can take in one day, and your irrit8ing voice is THIS close to giving me a head8che. TAVROS: uHHH,,,? VRISKA: Nope, too l8. Migr8ne city, popul8tion: me! Thanks a 8uttload, 8oy skylark. TAVROS: i,,,iM,,,sORRY,,,? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah sorry about your head vwhiskers but i gotta interject here DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < furst off your head hurts beclaws it got hit with a deadly fuckin laser pointer

Hahah. Get it? Laser pointer. Because. CAT. And also, holy shit Vriska got HIT with that?? Or was it just an explosion thingy FROM the laser pointer that knocked her out.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so blaming it on tavros f33ls purrty damn rude to me tbh DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but i dont really wanna get into a catfight with you right now DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < or maybe not ever cause thats just like NOPE no thanks

You’re the best Davepeta. Almost as great as Vriska.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < cranky vriska? ill pass on that DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < especially since there are like DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < way more important things to be dealing with! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so ill let it slide fur now B33 DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < as you were saying tavros?

So can Davepeta just be Tavros’ wingman? Because holy shit that’d be great. Actually, could this be the beginning of a beautiful PALE ROMANCE?? Probably not because ARquius is totally their soulmate.

TAVROS: wELL,,, tHANK YOU, fOR SPEAKING ON MY BEHALF, eVEN IF IT WASN’T STRICTLY NECESSARY,

It was necessary tavros.

TAVROS: uHHHH,,,

My point exactly.

TAVROS: bIRD NEPETA? TAVROS: oR, wHOEVER YOU ARE, DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < youre half right! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its davepeta TAVROS: oH, TAVROS: oKAY, TAVROS: sO,,,dAVEPETA,,, TAVROS: dO YOU THINK IT WAS AN ATTACK OR AN EXPLOSION? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < tavros DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < are you holding onto your socks because im about to blow them the fuck off DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i think it was an attack DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < that was ALSO an explosion DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < >B33 TAVROS: }:o

:o MAN, Davepeta you need to chill! I have to go get dressed now, because you just blew my entire OUTFIT off! from shirt to shorts, nothing could withstan the sheer FORCE of your shocking observation.

VRISKA: UGH!!!!!!!!

Shut up Vriska.

Oh. We also got a Porrim back there. And, I guess that’s just Kankri? Maybe the same one, maybe a different? Vriska needs to chill though.

VRISKA: I don’t have TIME for this! VRISKA: Who gives a shit if it was an att8ck or WH8TEVER!!!!!!!! VRISKA: Am I the really only person who c8res about m8king sure the most evil fucker in all of paradox space is FINALLY DE8D FOR GOOD?!?!?!?! VRISKA: Isn’t that what we r8sed an entire army for?? VRISKA: The army that is NOWH8RE TO 8E FOUND, 8Y THE W8Y!!!!!!!!

I think they’re all d e a d Vriska. And you’re assuming way too much of this group of NINCOMPOOPS. They literally are just doing whatever.

MEENAH: vriska VRISKA: WH8T!!!!!!!! MEENAH: you need to krill out for a sec

Exactly. Krill out girl.

VRISKA: NO, *YOU* “KRILL OUT”!!!!!!!! VRISKA: I AM N8T GOING TO KRILL IN A SINGLE FUCKING DIRECTION UNTIL SOME8ODY DECIDES TO OPEN THEIR MOUTH AND FILL ME IN ON WH8T THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!!!!!!!! MEENAH: the armys gone

Yup. Everybody fucking died via death laser.

FFS CHILL Vriska.

VRISKA: GONE?! VRISKA: No SHIT, they’re GONE! VRISKA: Do YOU see a throng of expenda8le, huddled masses anywh8re near8y, Meenah?? 8ecause if so, NOW WOULD 8E A GR8 TIME TO LET ME KNOW! MEENAH: ...

Calm down Vriska, before you push away the people that AREN’T dead. I mean, who know’s if these guys even care enough to keep working for you anyways. I’d say Meenah’s the last person you should be yelling at.

VRISKA: No?? That’s what I fucking THOUGHT. VRISKA: Th8nk you SO much for that astute o8serv8tion! VRISKA: That sure clears up JACK SQU8T! VRISKA: Now how a8out we get 8ack to the LESS immedi8tly o8vious! VRISKA: Gone WHERE? And more importantly, WHY! MEENAH: listen serks i could really do without the attitide MEENAH: if you took two seconds to breathe you could prolly figure it out yourself MEENAH: but if itll help you clam down...

Exactly, Clam down Vriska. Because it doesn’t take a goddamn genius to figure out they’re all dead.

VRISKA: It DEFIN8TELY will. So spill!!!!!!!! MEENAH: they got blasted VRISKA: Are you serious? VRISKA: He took out EVERYONE? In one hit?! MEENAH: nah not all of em MEENAH: but a lotta double death happened yeah MEENAH: i mean the weapon didnt do flip of what it was SUPPOS-ED to do as far as i could tell MEENAH: it did a pretty good job of sheildin our asses MEENAH: (youre whalecome btw)

Meenah, you’re the true hero here. I mean a calm troll who’s powerful, smart, and only sometimes out of order? I’d say that’s the best kinda troll we can get.

MEENAH: but anybody who didnt get behind it MEENAH: definitely got fried VRISKA: So? Where’s Lord English now?? VRISKA: 8ecause if we need to track him down, we need to get on that like, yesterday!

He isn’t still there? I thought he’d just be doing some angry lord english stuff. Hopefully he isn’t causing too much trouble.......

MEENAH: uh MEENAH: dudes still havin a tantrum over there actually

Oh. I was r i g h t .

VRISKA: Then why the hell are we all the w8y out here?! MEENAH: look vriska MEENAH: the plan didnt work MEENAH: you got KOd or passed out or whatever the shell MEENAH: and the army got gutted MEENAH: so i figured the only sensible fin to do was a tactical retreat VRISKA: Okay, fine. That WAS pretty sensi8le. MEENAH: except MEENAH: most of everyone didnt STOP retreatin MEENAH: no matter what inspirational crab i threw at them VRISKA: .......

Oh.

Oh.

so there WERE more survivors, but the most’ve them just bailed on the scene. Damn. Well, who can blame them? Double death isn’t for everyone I suppose.

Well ARADIA sure seems happy :D

MEENAH: sorry aboat your head by the way MEENAH: ill admit that was my bad MEENAH: aint easy to haul ass in sand with dead weight over your shoulder

To the people behind ACT OMEGA: You better get me a gif of Meenah dragging Vriska face down through the sand.

ARADIA: hey! ARADIA: at least theres a bright side to all this

Of COURSE there is AA.

Awe. This team charge hug is actually kinda precious. Tavros’ little smile, and Aradia’s “appreciate him!” look.

ARADIA: tavros convinced a few people to stay ARADIA: right? :D

Oh, well that’s good then! So far, I know we have... Tavros, Aradia, Sollux, Kankri, Porrim, Mituna, Feferi, Latula, Vriska, Meenah, Davepeta, and possibly more.

TAVROS: i DID, TAVROS: tHROUGH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP,

TAVROS: aND A LARGE QUANTITY OF WORDS, sPOKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE HEART, TAVROS: eVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF ALL OF THEM HAD STAYED, i THINK, TAVROS: tHERE IS A PART OF ME THAT ALSO THOUGHT LEAVING MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA,,, TAVROS: cONSIDERING, hOW THINGS LOOK PRETTY HOPELESS NOW, TAVROS: bUT THAT PART OF ME IS THE ONE THAT MISSED OUT ON THE COMPLETION, oF MY SUCCESSFUL AND FULFILLING CHARACTER ARC,

He get’s so cocky sometimes, but it’s the kind of cocky where he’s nervous he’s not looking cocky in the right way. What the hell am I typing. I just love how self aware he is.

TAVROS: wHICH IS WHAT THE MAJORITY OF THE REST OF ME IS COMPRISED OF, TAVROS: eSPECIALLY THE PARTS THAT WERE KICKING LORD ENGLISH IN THE FACE, nOT TOO LONG AGO, TAVROS: aND TRUTHFULLY, i AM STILL PRETTY FIRED UP, fROM THAT, TAVROS: sO I IGNORED THE COWARDLY IMPULSE, aND INSTEAD STAYED TO HELP MY FRIENDS, sEE THIS UNDERTAKING THROUGH TO THE END, TAVROS: aND THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE, wHO AGREED WITH ME, TAVROS: wHICH ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE HERE, pRESENTLY,

Goddammit, these people aren’t the brightest. They had to have stayed with him out of pity. If all of your friends are running away, and the only person asking you to stay and fight an unkillable demon was T A V R O S .

You’d run.

Sollux doesn’t wanna be here.

ARADIA: see? sollux and i even stayed to help too ARADIA: in fact were all here to help ARADIA: well maybe some of us are here mostly out of curiosity SOLLUX: 0r b0red0m.

Or pity. Or self-hate. Or a deathwish.

ARADIA: or that too! or maybe even a mishmash of all sorts of motivations ARADIA: but whatever the reason we are on your side ARADIA: so i get the feeling if you dont lighten up a little ARADIA: some of us might suddenly have a lot more of a reason to join the others ARADIA: and find something else to do

Nice way of putting it Aradia. Vriska really needs to Clam down and Krill out, because she’s gonna lose the few she has with her still.

OH SHIT THAT’S THE END OF THE UPDATE. Well then, that’d be my cue to sleep. it’s 2:15 AM an I have summerschool in 5 hours. gnight folks. 

[photonconductor]

i dont have an ao3 but shout out to my homeboys

once upon there was a gay on th e moon bc of a really lovng alternate au idea where elc turened BAD and klaus had a 1000 year nap and it'd take too long to fucking explain this so just roll with it ok. this gay--its elcrest btw hes also a Bad Boy now; he rly likes hot topic and thinks those t shirts with sarcastic sayings are actually rly funny but we all know they aren't--was feleing emo bc he couldn't see his bf xen o bc he betrayed him. so he stayed in his room whining abt how fgay he was until eve showed up

"hey whats wrong elc mother is here for u" even tho shes like 5000 years old and looks like shes 2 and also a rock (but im not rockist guys i promise). elc looked at her with his optics shining in the pale argentate light. good thing hes the seme here bc otherwise he'd start crying. in reality he rly wanted to fucking bone xeno bc obviously they had a lot of gay sex b4 they tried to kkill his mom once nad staring at rocks all day kinda sucks.

a;so burnign alive but hes kind of over that phase.

"im sad my bf left me for 1000 years can i pls go back to earth my raging hard on can't be satisfied bc rocks. my dicks not a jack hammer even tho im jacking it all the time (thats what guys do right bitch i dont know)" eve was so offended she put her hands on her giant rock self thats not just herself. its rly fucking complicated shut up u came here for the gay sex not instructibles on how physical forms manifest.

"we dont say ROCKS in this household young man!!!!"

"ＢＵＴ ＭＯＯＯＭＭＭＭＭ sorry i forgot to turn off my seme voice lemme adjust my mic it happens when my dick is hard" elcrest coughed twice "ok sounds good, BUT MOM I RLY NEED TO NUT. YOU KNOW NUT I'M SAYING... ITS ALL OR NUTTING BUT MOSTLY NUTTING IN XENO'S SWEET HOT BUNS"

"stop talking abt nuts u disgusting boy fine, god, if u leave me alone u gaylord"

and then eve punched him so hard in the dick that elcrest landed on earth in a giatn crater. how hes still alive is bc he still had some continues left like in mario even though this is a srpg game. once elc recovered he struck a pose and laughed evilly while twirling his mustache.

"finally...... I have RETURNED for xeno's hot man breasts! the world cannot stop me now!!" he cackly cackkled and quickly ripped off the fake mustache he put on just for this one scene. then elc went on a quest to find where klaus was and bc the author is too lazy to write any tansitional scenes.

elc found him chilling in his bed reading a book that was called Sweets and You: Do sweets make u inherantly Gay? elcrest made the PFFT noise. ofc they make u gay, fuckiing idiot book. he could write better than that author. in fact, elcrest was gonna do that when he got home bc obviously if this trash is published any shit elc wrote would be good.

NO! he had to focus! but he couldnt stop staring at xenos man boobs and felt his dick get hard again. elc got a nose bleed too bc thats what happens in anime right. i played persona 4 i know what im about

"damn u xeno." elc said thru his nosebleed and klaus looked up bc the author cant fucking rmemeber who is klaus and who is xeno and was surprised i remmebred his name but could not remember remember the 5th of novemember

"what"

"XENO IT IS I" since h e was caught red handed he just kickflipped through the window anyway. he did a sick flip then stood in the middle of klauses room. klaus made a gay gaspp

"alto! what are u doing hre!?" klaus said, bc in this AU that was his codename. elc wanted to be currently doing that but eve said no. fuck his mom. except please dont bc i know you sick fucks are thinking abt it.

"I HAVE COME TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE GAY SIDE, XENO WE HAVE COOKIES. bc i really miss that bammin slammin bootilicious sex we used 2 have and you are in fact bammin slammin bootilicious. also have u heard the word and gospel of our savior mother" elc said gayly

"dude no please stop preaching in my house im a changed man now" xeno pirouetted out of bed

"cmon man im ur seme u cant refuse we made like a yaoi blood oath u cant go back on ur word" elc pushed him back on thebed bc he'd have his ass yet anyway so no real use getting up. bc what is consent anyway hes Bad

"o shit really huh" klaus paused in thougt and bad elc laughed evilly. his plan was working!! all he had 2 do was the final touches! i mean besides touching xenos dick or whatever we're not yet. sorry u have to suffer for ten more paragraphs for sweat boy on boy. elc then turned around an produced a kitty keyboard from the recesses of his coat tails. xeno made the :O face and elc sat down bc playing while standing rly fuckin g sucks

"i wrote this for u on the moon so you'll be hypnotized by my sick beats" then he pulled the mic out of the keyboard and made a sick beatbox noise. No i dont know what the fuck it sounds like just google it. klaus blushued and made another gay gasp and elc made the >:3 face

then be started to play the piano keyboard. he was playing cruel angel thesis, their theme song that they had decided at 1am while xeno was drunk af.  it was their theme song despite none of them speaking fucking japanese but they just felt it in their SOULS. it was rly gay. elc was going so fucking hARD that his hard on was getting 40 hard ons. and thats four tens the hard ons. and its rad.

except the ebst part was it was all in meows so it spoke 2 klaus' furry soul.

klaus nyaed softly in surprise and suddenly all his memories of being xneo were restored!!! he gave into the desire that he craved in his soul and opened his big man arms bc for some reaon everyone thinks dudes are thirsty af. dont ask me why

"elc1!1 pls take me!! but be gentle my ass hasnt been ravaged in 1000 years (sick reference to hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort like, comment, subscribe for more sick referneces like this one)" xeno mewled like afucking furry and elc nodded once. xeno walked up to elc an touched his man boob sensually even tho xeno is like 60 feet taller than elc just imagine it ok

elc now has sunglasses just bc i think its a funny image

"xeno...... lets do it" elc said softly

"o h elc senpai......." xeno meowed

"and i'll keep my sunglasses on bc i hate the sun #moonlifeforever" and xeno gayzed into his emotion shields sensuallyier. then elc kissed him passionately and their tongues battled for dominance but we all know klaus is a fucking bottom bitch as stated in hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort paragraph 17 and 18 bc it was a dialogue.

then elc ripped off his clothes bc hes fucking JACKED and jACKED OFF and xeno gay gasped forlike the third time in this fic. elc was fuckign shredded. legends told of his abs but this time it was real. almost like the fact that shaved ice flavors dont actually exists the syrup is just food coloring.  his dong dangled in the breeze and xeno was turned tf on so he took off his clothes too bc hes not a god damn animal god whats wrong with u elc.

except elc didnt take off the sunglasses like he promised so those were still on dont worry readers i got you covered.

"get on ur knees dude and give me a wet willy but like on my dick" elc demanded

"wtf no"

"dude u cant say no its a smutfic"

"ok yeah i guess i kinda do like sucking dick or somethign"

"PREPARE TO EAT YOUR LAST DICK, XENO" elc cackcled and then xeno succed his dick like no tomorrow. elc practically creamed right there bc he couldnt get his rocks off on the moon for 1000 years (hahaha no im not gonna stop makign rock jokes). also xeno has no gagreflex bc he succed dick like a thousand times. once that was over elc just punched his dick in xenos hot cross buns and xeno meowed again

"why are u still a furry after 1000 years" elc asked but continued to Ravage The Promised Ass

"do u nyat like it erucu-kun???" xeno purred and elc shook his head

"no ur still banging its ok"

NUT THEN (i wanted to write but but i typoed and decided to keep it its funnier this way) xenos ass started 2 glow with a new holy light

"WHAT tHE FUCK" elc yelled

"my ass was actually the only way we could turn u good again! the more u fuck me the gooder u are!" and elc gasped gayily! no! his plan was working against him! he could alredy feel the goodness (haha get it bc fucking is hot i guess) turning him good! he had 2 pull out but found he couldnt. xeno was just too bammin slammin bootlicious

"HOW DARE YOU TRICK, I, ELCREST THE CONDICKTOR" he roared and xeno was tuned on again bc roaring is prolly a furry thign im not a furry im sorry

"it was for ur own good elc bc i love you!" xeno dokied so hard there were shoujo sparkles and even elc got shoujo sparkles. his azure optics glew like stella glow and u could almost see constellations in them. except there were sunglasses so u couldnt actually see it but the reader can. xneo was right. he was his tru  love..... not the Mother..... his mom was lame anyway all she did was talk to rocks

"xeno.............." elc said wiwstfully before bangin xeno harder. their bangin was so intense everyone could hear it in the kngihts barraks. it was so loud that even ana in her coma woke up for like a second to be like The Gays are At It Again. soon enough the banging was sucessful. elc glew in a beautiful magical girl ligtht and he was become good again. xeno shed a single tear but licked it away

"im cured! xeno ur ass did it! plus that was hot" elc smiled and im pretty sure xeno cried bc look at that man. hes so beautiful. please take the $2 from my purse. they embraced in a gay way. it was cute and xeno did a thumbs up and ana's face appeared at 20% opacity in the bg and she was also winking

"elc i am so glad u are back and i love u" then they made out. for a rly long time too bc theyre so fucking GAY good lord how could stella glow keep this under wraps. then they decidd they had to punch eve in the rock bc she was a dickw hile elc was being emo and stuff. BUT FIRST, xeno got porked lke 80 more times b4 then bc 1000 years does a lot do u.

the end remember to like, comment, subscribe for more fics like this one, seeya

[theworstbob]

the thing journal, 4.9.2017

scattered thoughts on the things i took in over the last seven days. this week: hannibal s3, bad cop/bad cop, the lobster, netflix teen mystery drama (yeah i’m not gonna type the name out, i ain’t finna deal with a fandom), joey bada$$, the big nowhere, win it all

1) Hannibal, season three: Boy, we sure did spend half the season stumbling aimlessly around Italy, didn't we? No no no, give me another abstract montage with fun camera tricks and eight layers of symbolism, Mr. Neftali, I was gonna say, it's been a few scenes since we've had a montage, when are you gonna deliver another one? FUCK IT! THERE AIN'T GONNA BE A SEASON FOUR! INDULGE ALL YOUR WORST IMPULSES! The show picked up once it got to the Red Dragon plot, and one would have to imagine that is due to the fact of, um, the plot existing at that point?, but I think this show took these characters about as far as they could go. This was a good place for it to end. I'm not sure how far they could have gone having everyone speak to Hannibal through a wall for 13 episodes (it was starting to get tired even after a few episodes here). I did enjoy the Red Dragon episodes, that was the Hannibal I loved in the first two seasons, and it built well toward the ultimate ending (or penultimate ending, yay post-credits sequence, do set up that fourth season, no no no definitely gonna happen). Not Hannibal at its best, but close enough and still good enough when it was On that it I'm still OK calling Hannibal one of my favorite series of all time.

2) Not Sorry, by Bad Cop/Bad Cop: I DERIVED VALUE FROM A DIVE INTO YOUTUBE COMMENTS I went into the comments under a Bombpops song just to see what they were like, and they weren't... as bad as I expected? Not good, but at least not explicitly hateful. But someone in the comments mentioned this band, and I was intrigued enough by the name to check 'em out. (I check out new-to-me bands if they're recommended by a trusted source or if they have a dope name.) And that YouTube comment was right, this album fucking rules. "Cheers" is another item in the long list of things I love named Cheers, the closer is superb, and just, there's so much punk/rock goodness, and I can't believe I heard about them via a fucking YouTube comment.

3) The Lobster, by Yorgos Lanthimos: yoooooooooooooooo My chief disagreement with this film is that it's sort of a waste of a fantastical premise. Maybe I'm just spoiled by BoJack Horseman, but I think the premise that single people are turned into animals was mostly wasted, didn't provide for any interesting background jokes, didn't create moral dilemmas when the woman asked the dude to catch rabbits, was barely even a concern through the second half of the film. It only sticks out because so much of the rest of the film was executed superbly. I loved where the film took the main part of the premise (you have to find a mate, you have to share one defining characteristic with that mate; on the outskirts of civilization are Loners). The dialogue is so stilted and unnatural and performed in a highly mannered way, and once you get to the Loners and there's this woman speaking freely and naturally, it really adds to The Leader's power (and that's such a fucking cool performance, too, on its own), and it makes it more pronounced that the dude and the woman never quite break from their practiced way of talking, never quite breaking from the society that instructs, "This is what love is. Loneliness is dangerous." It's also some of the bleakest comedy you'll ever see. It's an odd fit for John C. Reilly's big ol' heart, but he makes it work as he always does, and MY GOSH THE HEARTLESS WOMAN. I WANT A WHOLE MOVIE ABOUT WHAT THE HEARTLESS WOMAN GOT UP TO BEFORE COLIN FARRELL CAME ALONG.

4) Netflix Teen Mystery Drama, s1, cr. Brian Yorkey: So, one good thing, I loved how the show delineated Today from Yesterday, making Today cold and Yesterday warm. It's a simple thing they did, but it gave the show a distinct look and let them do some neat visual stuff with the flashback structure, like I'm not sure I stick with this show if it weren't such a cool thing to look at. Because fucking yeesh. This is a show about stupid people who keep secrets. Literally the entire show doesn't exist if any character told the truth to anyone else in this show at any point. Half of this show is one character saying to another, "I can't tell you that yet" or "I'm not at liberty to discuss that" or "You'll have to find out for yourself" or "This stays between us." I'm hesitant to say it's bad writing, these are TV professionals and I’m a yutz with a blog, but I found it highly disagreeable. And that sucks that the show was written like this, because there's something great about this idea of how kids hurt each other without realizing what they're doing because they’re idiots who don’t know how to be people. I thought it was fascinating that, as these horrible things were happening to the main girl, they kept cutting to the main dude being on the margins, observing the events but not doing anything helpful, and if the show had a tighter focus and could have followed that arrow more closely, it would have been so much better for it. I know this was based on a novel, and while I will likely not read the novel, I have to imagine the novel is better, because the novel doesn't have to fill 13 hours of television with All The Things ALL THE THINGS and pad itself out by having people lie to each other until it is time to make the revelation ("Why can't you tell me now?" "Because you have to wait." "For what?" "Episode nine." Like if you won't be real with each other at least be real with me), and it can be about just The One Thing. That sounds so much better than this show, which feels overstuffed and, I just, I have to ask, season one? Season one. Are you kidding me. How are you going to find 13 more hours in this universe, about these people. Like, I'm good. It's like Broadchurch, I will respect that there's other seasons, but I think y'all did what you came to do in the one. Honestly, between this and the American Psycho musical, I have no idea how Next to Normal is so good. (Compliment sandwich! The main girl was a really cool character, and it was so easy to imagine this being a show about Natalie from N2N in an alternate timeline. Also, I kept count, the exchange "Hey." "Hey." appears in this show four times.) Wow that was hella paragraph for something I wasn't keen on.

5) ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$, by JOEY BADA$$: Hey. White man, here, trying to offer critical assessment of an album called ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$. ...Maybe it's not my place. I mean, it's not really my place to offer criticism on, um, anything, but ESPECIALLY an album about what it's like to be black in America, and not just the Trump America (though he's not happy about that, either), but in an America that has always hated black people, Trump only making that subtext text. I kept thinking "break-up album with America," but that sounds reductive, as did "To Pimp a Butterfly with mainstream ambitions," and while I don't wanna reduce this, I DO still want to say those things. It's good stuff. That's all I can say, really. (Also, there’s a spate of pop artists trying to get by with all-caps names or song titles. This absolutely earns the ability to slam that Caps Lock key. You hear this shit, PARTYNEXTDOOR? This is all-caps music.)

6) The Big Nowhere, by James Ellroy: One good thing about The Thing Journal is that I have an excuse to read physical books on the bus AND read all the books my dad has been giving me for Christmas the past few years! I'll cop (ha!) to not being overly invested in the plot. Oh, boy, a story about a serial killer who's into some weird sex stuff, that's new to me, no tell me about the perverted twist that made the killer what he is, oh wow so fucked up. What I really loved this book was the realistic version of Los Angeles in the 1950s, what with the cops walking around spouting racial slurs as people do heaven and hide their homosexuality. We always get caught up in the notion that the '50s were a more innocent time, our nation is currently being run by people who want us to take us back in time, but like people were doing fuckin' heroin in the '50s. The '50s were shitty, too. I found spending time in this version of Los Angeles valuable. It's a gritty cop drama, sure, but it more than earns its grit. This has been Bob! Attempts To Review a 30-Year-Old Novel Set 60 Years in the Past!

7) Win It All, dir. Joe Swanberg: So one of my favorite lyrics of all time, I can't remember if I've brought this up here or elsewhere but I'm prolly gonna bring it up again, is from Frank Turner's "Recovery:" "Broken people can get better if they really want to/At least, that's what I have to tell myself if I am hoping to/Survive." While only having seen two of his works, this and Drinking Buddies, I feel comfortable saying Joe Swanberg has a deft handle on depicting the person from that lyric in film. My initial impression was that the film didn't do enough to prove the main character deserved redemption (minor spoiler, insofar as this film has a plot, but he does sort of spend the entire film lying to the woman he's falling in love with), but the more I've thought about it, the more I'm thinking, who am I to decide who deserves redemption? He's trying. At no point in his life has he not been trying. He is aware he has made bad choices, and he is keenly aware of his flaws. (His reaction to the contents of the bag is priceless. Jake Johnson is a treasure.) If he makes an honest effort, why shouldn't he get better? No one deserves to be broken, either.