#scarehood

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 2 Part 6

“Are you children done bickering yet?” said a male who entered the room. His bass voice filled the room with vibrations and gained everyone's attention. The man marched over to the stone box while Jeremiah tailed right behind him. The man I for sure have never seen before. He was a huge, tall man, taller than Jason. He had short gray almost white hair, ice blue eyes, slightly heavyset face, and wore a plain brown suit plus a trench coat. The man smirked at Roman and pulled out a mask out of his trench coat. “Is this what you were looking for?” The man asked as he held up the mask in a flaunting manner. Roman snarled, "I'm gonna make you pay, you fucker! No one screws over Black Mask without sufferin' the consequences! You hear me?! I don't give a fuck 'bout you and your Gotham Security Services! The mask belongs to me-" The man waved his hand, and the guard who stood behind Roman shot him through the right shoulder. “Roman!” Cassandra cried out. Cassandra attempted to comfort Roman, but the two other armed men held her back. The man laughed at Roman. “Oh Roman, if I were you, I would not act so tough right now. I know every single detail about you. Your power over Gotham has weakened over the years. Overshadowed by your rivals and pushed into a corner in a city you once claimed was yours alone. This young man over here was nearly the final nail in the coffin.” The man mocked and pointed to Jason. “That is why you wanted my mask so badly, correct? Did you hear about the mystic abilities it possesses? Thought that those abilities would make you stronger? Well, guess what. Neither the mask nor Gotham are yours. They are mine.” The man mocked further and rubbed salt in Roman's wounds. No reply came out of Roman. The man was not wrong. Everyone in Gotham knew Black Mask was the city's fallen and disgraced King. Some dismissed Roman as a spoiled rich boy similar to Bruce Wayne. After Jason, at the time only known as Red Hood, came back and defeated Roman's operation he became Gotham's laughingstock. “May I offer a suggestion? We should not let any of them leave this room. I heavily advise that you execute them like the others while you have the chance.” Jeremiah said. My eyes widened. “What do you mean the others? Why is all of this happening? What have you done Jeremiah?!” I shouted. “Sorry, Jeremiah, I brought them here for a reason. You see, they are the guests of honor. Only one person will die here tonight.” The man said. A dagger suddenly slipped out of The man's trench coat and he thusted it right into Jeremiah's heart. Everyone, including myself, were dumbfounded. The armed men must have known because none of them even flinched. Instead, they all held us down. The man threw Jeremiah's body in the stone box. A sarcophagus located in the caverns? I have read plenty of books on Gotham's history and knew there was the Arkham cemetery, but there were never historical indications of underground tombs. The man placed the mask on his face and spoke in what sounded like some form or dialect of Old English. A cacophony of Hellish flames burst out of the Sarcophagus and engulfed Jeremiah's body. “Jonathan, I don't like the feeling of this!” Jason remarked. “Tell me about it!" I admitted. Levels of uneasiness flowed through me like never before. Something deeply horrible, even for my tastes, was taking place. After the man completed what appeared to be a ritual, not a second passed when the earth fell straight down. Down. Down. Down.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Special and exciting announcement!

I started writing a fanfiction about our boy Jonathan Crane! The title is Ego Sum Non Infirma (Latin to English: I Am Not Weak). 😊 I've never wrote fanfiction before and don't have any professional writing experience, so I'm just winging it. The main plot is an idea that's been floating in my head for years now, and you all inspired me to finally write it. I honestly don't know how it will turn out. The story is set in my own AU which is basically BTAS, The New Earth Comics, Batman: Under The Red Hood (animated movie not the comic), Arkhamverse, plus some headcanons thrown into a blender. The main pairing is Jonathan Crane x Jason Todd. ❤ It will be about 10-12 chapters long, maybe shorter, because I don't want it to be too long haha. Here are more details!

Rated M for strong language, sexual themes (there will be a few sex scenes), violence/gore, addiction issues, mentions of suicide, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, etc. Don't worry the whole story won't be terribly dark.

Genres: Survival Horror, Dark Fantasy, Action, Romance

Main Characters/Protagonists: Jonathan Crane/The Scarecrow (Main Protagonist, First Person POV), Jason Todd/Red Hood, Cassandra Cain-Wayne, Roman Sionis/Black Mask, Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn, Jervis Tetch/The Mad Hatter, Edward Nigma/ The Riddler, Bruce Wayne/Batman

Main Antagonist:

https://batman.fandom.com/wiki/Doctor_Gotham

If any of you have any questions feel free to send a message! 😊

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 6

“I cured him.” I said. “Excuse me?” Jeremiah asked. “I. Cured. Jason. I assisted him while he faced and overcame his deepest fears. That is why he is infatuated with me.” I said. “Since when did you care about helping your victims? You've never shown such behavior.” Jeremiah said, perplexed now. “True, but no one can control the results of their experiments. Not even a professional like myself. I am unable to control all of Jason's actions, For example, how did you state it? Showing an overwhelming amount of affection? That is not my fault. However, that also will not stop me from further studying his deepest fears and secrets. My desire to understand Jason is far too strong to abandon him now. Jason is the most extraordinary patient I have ever encountered. Delving into his mind is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Don't you see Jeremiah? Jason, who was brutally murdered, then soon afterward resurrected from the dead.” I said. Jeremiah briefly rubbed his temples. “Jonathan, for the last time, you're not a Doctor. Not anymore. I'm the Doctor right now! Your privileges were revoked twelve years ago. You can deny it all you want, but murdering the men who revoked those privileges can't change reality. There's nothing beneficial you can do for Jason.” Jeremiah said. Yes, I had Jeremiah exactly where I wanted him. I tried not to reveal too much emotion, but could not help it when I smirked right at Jeremiah's face. “Ha, nothing beneficial? On that same day in the cafeteria, Jason thanked me for my assistance. He disclosed so much about himself during my therapy sessions. My therapy sessions did wonders for his psychological well-being. Not a single person, including Batman himself, Jason's apparent mentor, had the competence to help him through the burdens that haunted him at every turn.” I gloated. “A-ha, so this is also about Batman? How do you feel about subverting one of his own? Before his death, and becoming The Red Hood, Jason was one of Batman's Robins.” Jeremiah said. I snorted at the notion of subverting Jason. “Subvert? What a joke. I could not care less about Batman. I did not subvert Jason. He already rejected Batman once I crossed paths with him. Not only Batman, but his thou shalt not kill teachings as well. Such teachings are the main reason why Batman was unable to help him. He believes Batman is a charlatan. Speaking of charlatans… I wonder what Jason would think of you? If Batman was unable to help him, I highly doubt you have what it takes.” I quipped. I could tell Jeremiah was becoming flustered. Jeremiah tried his hardest not to lose his cool. I knew exactly how to get under Jeremiah's skin during each session. “Very humorous, Jonathan. Moving on to the next subject… talking about killing. You and Jason teamed up to take down The Joker before you two were apprehended and sent to Arkham. Do you not care about what the rest of the Rogues Gallery members must think of you? Teaming up with a vigilante and going up against one of your own?” Jeremiah asked. “Every risk has its consequences. You, of all people, should know by now that I do not care what others think of me. Besides, considering it is The Joker we are referring to, I expect all the astonishment in the air will blow over soon. Let's be honest. The Joker was never the most beloved among us. No matter how much he prances around Gotham believing he is. Witnessing Jason, who came back like a vengeful spirit, and confronted his fear of the man who murdered him, was an opportunity too good to pass up.” I said. I desperately tried to control the conversation, so Jeremiah would not bring up Harley. Everything I told Jeremiah were half-truths. My plan worked out so far. I always enjoyed giving Jeremiah the impression that I am Gotham's heartless bogeyman.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 1

“Are you going to eat or just sit here and peck at this shit they call food? You haven't eaten a single thing since we've been locked up.” Jason said. I looked at Jason right in the eyes. “We are not locked up! We will find a way out! There is always a way out!” I snapped. “Yeah, I don't know about that. Since Bruce Wayne, plus this new Gotham Security Services, Arkham is a fortress. I've heard other inmates mention how Arkham is so tight now there's even no cracks for Clayface to leak out of.” Jason remarked. My eyes darted across the dimly lit, soiled top to bottom cafeteria at several other inmates and fellow Rogues Gallery colleagues. Two-Face, Jervis, Harley, Margaret, Arnold and Scarface, Garfield, plus various others who have been stuck here in Arkham with Jason and me. Edward and Pamela were not among them, which meant they have not been caught yet. “Be careful who you listen to. Most of the people in Arkham are cretins.” I muttered under my breath. As Jason and I sat in the back corner of the cafeteria, a small crowd of unfamiliar inmates turned their heads towards us. One jeered from across the room, “Hey Johnny Boy! So which one of you is the dominant while the other is the submissive bitch?!” My face turned red with rage as I heard laughter coming from inmates and guards alike. Another inmate from the crowd decided to pitch in, “Since you're simping for a vigilante, I say you're the bottom!” After I gave them all a cold glare, they turned their heads back around with spooked looks on their faces. “Motherfuckers… I can't take this shit anymore.” Jason said through clenched teeth. He balled up his hands in fists and shot out of his seat across from where I sat. I caught hold of Jason by the wrist and forced him to sit back down. “No, Jason, do not start anything. There is a reason why this place is surrounded by guards” I warned. “But they're the ones starting it every single time! Are you just going to let them fucking get away with it?” Jason scowled. “I never let anyone get away with anything, especially in Arkham!” I snapped back again. “Anyone who taunts me in Arkham do not survive to tell the tale.” I added.

Jason's face softened up and he tried to rest his hands on top of my own. I recoiled my hands towards myself. “No Jason, I already told you not here.” I said. “Jonathan, I know you care about how you represent yourself around these pricks but I, for one, don't give a shit about them.” Jason argued. He embraced my hands and pulled them back towards himself. “I dare anyone in Arkham to attempt to tear us down. The only person I'm concerned about is you and your well-being. You haven't been taking care of yourself as usual. With no hair, you're starting to look like a goddamn ghoul.” Jason said. “I suppose looking like a ghoul is a good thing in my case. People will be more anxious around me. Not that my physical appearance matters, my reputation alone still protects me." I said in amusement. Jason rolled his eyes. “Can you please listen to me? It's not just your physical well-being I'm concerned about. I know you've been evaluating your emotions again, but you can't clam up and rely on yourself all the time. You have to let me in again. Just like before when we first met. I know you're as pissed off as me about Batman saving The Joker.” Jason said. Pissed off was an understatement. It took every ounce of my mental discipline to suppress the sheer rage boiling within me. I decided to switch up the subject. “When we first met I was stalking you.” I corrected Jason. “Well… you know what I mean. After the whole you stalking me, injecting me with your fear toxin, and me beating the fuck out of you for it encounter.” Jason jokingly admitted. “I still cannot believe you agreed to therapy sessions afterward.” I sighed. “Me too when I think about it occasionally. As I told you, I sorta always had a soft spot for you . Besides your therapy ended up helping didn't it?” Jason asked. “My goal is not to help people or develop relationships with them. My goal is to exploit and understand them. It just so happens that you are a mishap.” I said sternly. “Oh okay, I suppose your goal was to merely understand me while I laid in your bed with you?” Jason teased. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply in annoyance. For fuck's sake, I could not believe he just said that out loud. “Do not ever bring up our extracurricular activities here again.” I demanded. “Sure, if that'll make you feel better.” Jason teased once more. “All jokes aside though, maybe I wanted to further understand you too? Have you thought about that? You're the one who chose to open up to me in the end, after all. That was your choice, not mine.” Jason said now in a softened tone. Jason's stalwart hands squeezed around my slender ones. I shifted in my seat as I felt Jason's gaze. Even after roughly nine months, I still have not gotten used to Jason's affections. No one in my entire life has looked at me with such passion and adoration in their eyes. “I'm dead serious, Jonathan. I know you don't want to admit it, but the truth is that your therapy benefitted both of us. I, personally, don't give a damn what your goal is. I've seen a whole other side of you, practically no one else has. The world sees an evil monster, while I don't. The Scarecrow won't change my perspective. We've shared so much about ourselves it's hard to believe. In the end, you forced me to face my fear of The Joker on top of other obstacles that've always held me down, and I thank you for that. My entire life, I was living within my own prison. Even if we are now locked up in Arkham, for the first time in my life I now feel a real sense of freedom. We nearly had him, Jonathan. He'd be dead right now if Batman hadn't intervened. Talking about The Joker has Harley even confronted you yet?” Jason asked.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 2 Part 5

When Kasumi and I exited the library she gave me a quick hug. “Good night!” Kasumi said. “Good night, run along now.” I ordered.

Lukewarm water rained down on me while I stood in the extreme isolation cell's showering corner. As I washed up I felt my collar, hip, and now healed rib bones. Until someone else decides to break them down the road. Jason was right, I should take better care of myself. My face felt gaunt more than usual, too. It was fortunate I did not have a mirror anywhere within the cell. Either way, I never enjoyed looking at myself. I leaned up against the wall and went into a meditative state, contemplating the chain of events again. Since Harley to this day refused to talk to me, let alone look at me, Kasumi was a pleasant person to interact with. My friendship with Kasumi grew much faster than I expected. Too fast. What I could not figure out was why Kasumi worked at Arkham in the first place. Kasumi stuck out, she did not belong here. I knew for sure there was something between Kasumi and Jason, I just could not put my finger on it. The way Jason looked at Kasumi when she first arrived, convinced me to teach her how to read, and the constant questions about her progress. I forced myself to shake off the feeling. I decided to confront Jason about their relationship with each other tomorrow. I switched off the water, dried up, and buttoned into an clean uniform. Right before I dozed off, I heard loud knocking against the cell's door. No, not knocking, banging. Metal against Metal? “What in tarnation.” I groaned as my Southern accent slipped out and wandered towards the door. Before I had the chance to see who disturbed my rest, the door slammed open and a butt of a rifle knocked me out cold.

“Wh-what?” I moaned once I regained consciousness. Once I touched the cold damp stone underneath me, I knew precisely where I was without opening my eyes. Arkham's caverns. The same caverns I once utilized six years ago when I almost contaminated all of Gotham's water supply with my fear toxin. As expected, I first contacted my inner circle and warned them to stock up on water or flee the city. My master plan was flawless. Have Batman exposed to my newest fear toxin formula, then sent to Arkham, all the while I escaped from my cell. So I thought, in the end I was the last person exposed after Batman destroyed my fear pump machine, thus foiled my master plan. I heard Jason's voice right next to me, “Jonathan? Wake up Jonathan.” Jason rocked my body. My eyes slowly opened up. “Please stop.” I muttered. “Are you okay Jonathan?” Jason asked. “Yes Jason I am fine. You?” I asked. “I'm still alive. That has to count for something, right?” Jason said. When my vision partially cleared up I analyzed my surroundings the best I could. Huh, interesting. Jason and I were deep within Arkham's caverns, but I could not recognize the portion we were in.It seemed separate from the rest, a large enclosed space resembling a room. Extremely dark, the only a source of light were torches along the primitive walls. Next my vision fixated on a large stone box with its lid off to the side. Both the box and lid had elaborate symbols engraved on their surfaces. While I tried to make out the origin of the symbols, someone cleared their throat. There was another person in the room with Jason and me. I discovered it was Kasumi. “Kasumi, are you alright? What is happening?” I asked. “I am sorry.” Kasumi said terrified. I realized even more people were in the room. Roman Sionis kneeled on his knees next to Kasumi. Roman Sionis? Now that is a face, or mask whichever, I have not seen in years. Due to his drug dealing and prostitution, I have avoided his presence at all costs. As a fellow Gothamite criminal who needed them, the guns never bothered me. Exposed Roman to my fear toxin once after he claimed I was full of shit. Surprisingly, Roman's reaction was small-scale comparatively speaking. Only sprayed him with the gas, no injections, so that could have been it. If memory served correctly Roman has been sent to Arkham only a total of two times. Never stuck around long. I had to admit, at least Roman's outlook on life was intriguing. Roman wore his distinguished white pinstripe suit and not an Arkham uniform. Why would Roman be down here with Kasumi out of all people? Next ones I saw were armed men who scattered the room. I must have been so disoriented I did not notice them at first. Two guarded the one entrance, three with Jason and me, another three with Kasumi and Roman, and lastly two more who flanked the stone box. None of the armed men were Arkham guards and wore Gotham Security Services patches on their shoulders. I knew there was something suspicious with this alleged Gotham Security Services. It just popped out of nowhere last year. The hostile tension between Jason and Roman kept me from speaking. The two of them stared holes into each other's heads. Who hated who more I could not tell. “Cassandra, I'm going to ask you for the last time. Why is Roman here?” Jason interrogated. Cassandra? I was officially confused. Kasumi or Cassandra, with guilt written all over her face, remained silent. “Fuck off. My business is still to this day none of your business. Capiche?” Roman snapped. “Everything you are involved in is my business you depraved scumbag! Even more when Cassandra is taken advantage of. I should have executed you years ago. “ Jason seethed.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 2 Part 4

“Humph, I can say the same for Jeremiah.” I said. Kasumi cocked her head. “What do you mean?” Kasumi asked. “Watch yourself when you are around Jeremiah. He is a dangerous man alongside his patients.” I said. “Hmm you are right, now that you mention it I agree. Since I started working at Arkham Jeremiah has given me the creeps.” Kasumi uneasily mumbled. And I do not? Talk about a strange judge of character. Kasumi laughed it all off. “Sooo, which book should we start on?” Kasumi asked.

1 Month 2 weeks later

“After the death of Ro-mu-lus the senators undertook to govern the state themselves, holding the supreme power one by one, in regular rotation. This plan was, however, not found to succeed, and after an in-” Kasumi paused while she read. I looked down to see which word Kasumi was stuck on. “Interregnum.” I said. A look of puzzlement crossed Kasumi's face. “Umm, what does that mean?” Kasumi asked. I tried to come up with the best answer for Kasumi. “A temporary stop, interruption, or gap in a government.” I answered. Kasumi pondered about what I said. “A-ha okay, I think I get it now. How do you say it again?” Kasumi asked. “in-ter-reg-nuhm” I pronounced. “And after an Interregnum of about a year, the people elected another King. The…end.” Kasumi said. “Oh my, congratulations.” I said astonished. I was completely blown away by how fast Kasumi learned how to read. Sure, Kasumi has a hard time with larger more intricate words here and there, but she has only been reading three to five times a week for a little over a month. “Oh wow Jonathan, I can not believe this! Thank you so much!” Kasumi said with a brilliant smile. Kasumi was so ecstatic, she began to shed tears. As I wiped them away, I could feel the sheer excitement that radiated off Kasumi. The first book Kasumi finished was History Of Romulus: Makers Of History, written by the 19th century Children's author and historian Jacob Abbott. The book Kasumi held in her hands may have been the first edition. I originally wished for Kasumi to start with English literature, however, Kasumi insisted on reading about the history of Rome. “You are very welcome.” I said. “Are there any more books about Rome?” Kasumi asked in a distressed tone. I softly laughed. “Trust me, since Rome is one of the most famous civilizations in history, there are plenty of books out there. Both ancient and modern. You can spend a whole lifetime studying Rome.” I said. “Really? How long did Rome last?” Kasumi asked another question. “Let me think. Between the founding of Rome and the Roman Empire over a thousand years. Somewhere close to twelve hundred years. That said, the city itself still exists. For a person who has never read before, you sure are curious about Rome.” I stated. Kasumi acted like she was snagged in a trap. “I- people have told me about it and I have seen it on the screen before.” Kasumi stammered. The screen, Kasumi must have meant the television. Good enough answer for now. “Anyway, thank you again. Despite everyone's protests I want to keep reading with you. Jeremiah is wrong, I can see that you do care about other people. You have nothing to gain from this.” Kasumi said. Kasumi's words made me uncomfortable. Did this young lady not understand who she was speaking to? “You do not know me. I would not openly say such a thing about a person you just met.” I advised. Compassion was never one of my strong attributes. Yet, between Molly and Harley, Jason knew I had a knack for befriending young ladies. Kasumi fell silent. Dammit, I upset her. “You are correct, I have nothing to gain from teaching you how to read. The reason I taught you is that I simply respect intelligence.” I said. I glanced over at the antique grandfather clock and saw how late it was. “We should leave before Jeremiah comes looking for you.” I said. “Yeah, I wish we can stay longer though.” Kasumi grumbled. “We will start on another book tomorrow. How does that sound?” I suggested. Kasumi perked back up. “I would greatly appreciate that.” Kasumi said.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 2 Part 3

“Sure, if you say so.” Jason grumbled. Knowing Jason he probably wanted to suck it off. I resumed reading my book until someone from behind snuck up behind us. “Hello.” said a soft female voice. Jason nearly jumped up off the couch startled. Huh, Jason normally does not act like that. Quickly I crossed my legs to hide my halfway erection, placed my book back down, and turned my head. It was the young lady supervisor, Kasumi. “Hello.” I said back. Kasumi looked nervous. “I came back here to say thank you.” Kasumi said. Wonderful, Kasumi saw Jason and me. I pretended Kasumi did not watch me give Jason a hand job. “Thank you for what?” I asked. “Thank you for saving me from the guard. You did not have to go out of your way and put yourself at risk like that. There was nothing for you to gain from it. I feel bad about what happened and sorry I did not help you with the security alarm. I was the one who had you released from solitary confinement. I told Jeremiah how the guard treated me. Jeremiah did not want to release you at first, but I convinced him.” Kasumi said. I thought the proper conclusion was to brush it off. “No apologies needed. What is done is done.” I said. An awkward silence hung in the air. I broke it with a question, “Why were you in the library? I remember the guard stating you do not know how to read.” I saw a glimpse of shame on Kasumi's face. “I just wanted to look at the books. I cannot read because I am dyslexic. I wish I knew what the books said. I do like the way they feel.” Kasumi said. “Maybe Jonathan here can help you.” Jason piped up. “Help her how?” I asked. “Teach her how to read duh. Might as well do something while we're here in Arkham. I thought you enjoyed being a teacher.” Jason said. “Oh wow! You were a teacher? That is amazing!” Kasumi said. Caught in the middle, I was reluctant to respond at first, but then saw Kasumi's excitement. There were no connections between dyslexia and unintelligence… I gave Jason the we are going to talk about this later look. I faced Kasumi again. “Alright, I will teach you.” I said. Kasumi hopped up in the air. “Awesome! I am so excited!" Kasumi said. Kasumi's energy reminded me of Harley's upbeat, cheerful energy. “Teach her what?” asked a male voice. I did not have to look to see who it was. “Teach her how to read, Jeremiah. If she learned how to read maybe everyone will stop attacking her dyslexia.” I snarled. Jeremiah ignored me and marched towards Jason. “There you are! I had a feeling one of my guards smuggled you in the library! I ordered you to stay clear away from Jonathan!” Jeremiah reprimanded. Over his communication link Jeremiah ordered guards to have Jason escorted out of the library. “They'll be here shortly. As for you Kasumi, I'll warn you now. Do. Not. Befriend Jonathan Crane. He is one of Arkham's top five most dangerous inmates. At times, I consider him the most dangerous next to The Joker. Because of Jonathan's former career in Psychology he is a master manipulator. He doesn't care about you or anyone else around him. There is only one thing that drives Jonathan and that, Kasumi, is spreading fear.” Jeremiah warned. I smiled inwardly and took pride in my designation as the most dangerous inmate in Arkham. “Thank you for the concern Dr. Arkham, however I am still going to communicate with Jonathan. If he is dangerous as you say, I will stay at arms length.” Kasumi countered. I had to hand it to the young lady she retained a bold side. The conversation was cut short when the guards for Jason arrived. “Well, I guess I'll see you two later.” Jason said with a wink. Jeremiah's face was contorted with anger, and without continuing the conversation with Kasumi said, “Good evening, Kasumi.” Jeremiah entirely ignored me. Jeremiah was about to follow the guards and Jason out of the library when he saw the curtains rolled into a ball on the floor. “Why are my curtains on the floor?! Give me those!" Jeremiah barked. He snatched the curtains up and stormed out of the library. I stifled my laughter.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 2 Part 2

“Don't play coy with me. You know how long it's been since our separation. You are living in my head rent-free every night while I'm all alone. And the guard I made a deal with informed me the library doesn't have a single camera.” Jason said. “I see, so the guard brought you here not to just protect me. He or she is your little hookup assistant.” I said. I held my breath once Jason's hand slipped under my Arkham uniform. “Bingo, you got that right.” Jason admitted. Well… Jason was correct, there were no cameras in the library. Plus, no one has walked in within the last two hours. There was enough time left, I could perform something quick on the couch. “Fine. If we are going to do this, your first order is to take off that God-awful uniform.” I said. Jason withdrew and looked at me with a disappointed expression. “Huh, only me? What about you?” Jason asked. “Relax, I will be fine. I have an idea. Now take off the uniform before I change my mind. Second order is to lay on the couch. Now is your chance, take it or leave it.” I commanded.

What I laid eyes my on was bewitching. Without delay, Jason stripped himself naked head to toe and laid limp on the couch. “Where are your undergarments?” I asked. “Are you serious? I don't have time to care about those. Haven't I told you, I went commando years ago.” Jason objected. I refrained from uttering another word. With a predatory smile, I fell to my knees and hovered over Jason. The first areas I targeted with my tongue were Jason's jawline and neck. My slender fingers explored Jason's prominent physique. I bit Jason's left ear harder than I should have. Jason caught my shoulders. “Ouch, I see you're exploring outside your usual boundaries. Simmer down a notch.” Jason said. For that, I bit Jason's bottom lip. Fortunately, for Jason, not enough to make it bleed. “Third order, do not touch me and tell me what to do.” I commanded. “Aye aye, captain.” Jason grinned and released my shoulders. I continued to kiss and suckle the nape of Jason's neck. Taking my time I traveled down to Jason's torso then licked his nipples around in tiny circles while I caressed his obliques. Jason arched his back. “Jonathan…" Jason moaned. Excellent, my touch had the desired effect. My right hand descended flat along Jason's abs and rested on his untouched groin. Jason was fully aroused. To tell the truth, I had no idea how this performance would be executed, but despite that followed my instincts. With a firm grip, my hand wrapped around Jason's hard thick erection then tugged in a back and forth motion. I used my left hand to play with Jason's tip, which was uncircumcised, one detail I never noticed previously. The two of us were not born in hospitals. Jason's erection became hot and wet. I knew Jason was going to have an orgasm soon when his main vein throbbed in my hands. “Yes, yes Jonathan. Ha-harder.” Jason whimpered. I enjoyed hearing Jason's voice so much, I was unable to stop for one second. I peered straight into Jason's pleading eyes. The same sensation I experienced each time I watched the fear in other people's eyes was present. The power and control. While Jason reached his climax, he ejaculated all over his abs. Jason silently cried out as he threw his head back. Truly stunning display. Jason collapsed back onto the couch and panted heavily. A thin layer of sweat coated every twitching muscle of Jason's body. I whispered in his ear, “Did the Doctor cure your sexual tension?” Jason nodded his head, no words came out of his mouth. Satisfied, I stood up, walked over to one of the windows, and took off its curtains. Once Jason regained his composure, I tossed the curtains on top of him. “Clean yourself up before someone sees you.” I said. Jason and I sat back on the couch side by side once Jason was dressed back up in his inmate uniform. Jason looked down and noticed the half erected bulge between my legs. “You sure you don't want me to take care of that for you?” Jason asked. “Yes, I am sure. I will be fine, thank you. I was not the one acting like a cat in heat.” I reassured Jason.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 2 Part 1

“Can you please stop leaning your head against me so much? I know it has been three weeks, but unfortunately for you, I am still recovering from my injuries.” I said. Jason and I were both squished next together on the main Arkham Library couch. Jason insisted on sprawling across the cushions as his legs hung off the left couch arm rest. I slid down to the right away from Jason's head and wide shoulders that pressed up against my broken ribs and sprained elbow. So much for the batons just being electro batons. My whole body felt like it was beaten to a pulp by Batman. Finally, Jason shuffled up to a sitting position. Jason crossed his arms and grumbled, “I'm just trying to get your attention. No fun watching you sit around and read for hours on end.” I squinted my eyes and elevated my book closer to my face. “Then stop watching me. Go grab a book off one of the shelves for yourself. There are plenty to go around. Now is a good time to brush up on your reading skills.” I said. “Nah, sorry Jonathan. I will never be the scholarly type like you. Reading makes me fall asleep. By the way, what are you reading?” Jason asked. “Lovecraft's Necronomicon. I was about to finish it last time before I was… rudely interrupted.” I said. Jason was now getting on my nerves to a certain degree. Jason scooted right next me and began to gently message my sprained elbow. Jason must have sensed I was irritated. While I still read my book I asked Jason, “How were you allowed in here in the first place? Jeremiah strictly ordered us to stay separated, with the cafeteria being an exception.” Since Jason and I arrived to Arkham, the only areas I was permitted to go outside my extreme isolation cell were the cafeteria, library, and session rooms. Well, cafeteria and library now that I will not have those insufferable sessions anymore. The extreme isolation cells never bothered me due to the fact they all had their own bathroom showering corners. What I hated the most was whenever I am sent to solitary confinement. Also known as, throughout Arkham, The Hole. Jason grinned. “I've made a couple of connections. Learned some guards here in Arkham are willing to do anything for the right price. Someone has to watch your back next time you get into trouble.” Jason said. I noted the swollen black eye on the right side of Jason's face. “I see you have gotten yourself into trouble while I was gone.” I pointed out. “Now, now, don't go thinking I start each and every fight. All I do is finish them. To tell you the truth, I'm also sick and tired of seeing you only in the cafeteria in front of everyone else. Jeremiah can shove his orders up his ass sideways! Right after you and him had your little falling out he's been trying to prod my mind.” Jason said. “Hummm, I take it you don't enjoy Jeremiah's presence?” I asked. “Damn straight, I'm quickly beginning to hate him and all his lackeys. No offense, but I'm realizing why nothing good ever comes from Arkham. How have you and some other Rogues Gallery put up with this place all these years? It's more of a corrupt, chaotic mess than I thought!” Jason ranted. “No offense taken. It is about time one of you vigilantes see the true face of Arkham. Batman, to this day, holds on to the strong conviction Jeremiah will help save Gotham. Cure all of us. Batman refuses to see that the Arkhams are just as deranged as their patients. Batman refuses to admit Arkham is the breeding ground for Gotham's problems. I will say though, Arkham is a lot more peaceful when The Joker or men like Lyle Bolton are not around.” I said. Jason moved on to caress other parts of my body. “Enough chattering, I would rather not waste our time thinking about Arkham and all these people. You're bringing down the mood.” Jason said. I placed my book off to the side when I felt one of Jason's hands between my thighs. “Which mood would that be Jason?” I asked even though I already knew where this was going. I tilted my head as Jason kissed up and down the side of my exposed neck.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 8

“You better back off! This is your last warning!” a female voice shouted off into the distance. What the fuck? Irritated, I placed my book down on the main couch I sat on every day. Out of the twelve years, this was the first time I heard a disturbance in the library. “Last warning, huh? Or else what?” a male voice taunted. “I-I am your supervisor! I will have you reported and fired!” shouted the woman again. Great, the woman was distressed and furious. I reluctantly stood up, and silently walked to where the commotion was coming from. When I snuck around the corner, I was somewhat puzzled. It was the new young lady supervisor trapped between two bookcases by one of Arkham's security guards. Her name was Kasumi something? I could not remember her full name off the top of my head. “Supervisor? In name only! None of us don't know why Jeremiah bothered hiring you to begin with. He must be desperate these days. Just wait until I tell everyone I caught you in the library. You can't even read those books you're carrying around! Give me those!” the guard demanded. “No! Stop!” Kasumi ordered as the guard snatched the books from her arms. The guard gave me flashbacks of my youth when he threw Kasumi's books across the library. Kasumi attempted to slip past the guard, but he shoved her back. The guard held Kasumi down with his body weight and placed his hands on her. Are you serious? Right now? I reminded myself there were no cameras in the library. Honestly, I should not be too surprised. Arkham has employed bottom-of-the-barrel scumbags since I was an intern. Okay, showtime. I crept up behind and slipped out a syringe of fear toxin from my secret stash. “Well, well, well, what do we have here? Welcome to my domain.” I sneered. Everything went silent. The guard froze and spun around in panic. “Jonathan? No! Please wai-” I plunged the syringe into the guard's neck before he finished. Coward. The effects of the fear toxin did not take long at all. The guard's mind broke down instantaneously, and he started to scream at whatever he hallucinated. The screams of my victims were always music to my ears. Oh… it was not just the screams. The way their bodies writhed and twitched. The frenzied, terrified look in their eyes. Ah, yes… it has been far too long since I last used my toxin. It was mesmerizing…like staring into a fire! I soaked up the moment until I came to the sudden realization that one of Arkham's new wireless security alarms was triggered. The Guard must have triggered it before he faced me. “Shit, Kasumi, how do we switch it off?!” I asked. She was in a state of shock. I assumed it was from witnessing the effects of my fear toxin. I crouched down next to Kasumi, and shook her by the shoulders. “Kasumi! This is urgent! I need you to help me right now! How do we switch off the alarm?!" I pleaded. She was not listening to a single word I said. I raced back to the dead guard's alarm, and tried to switch it off myself. Damn you technology. It was too late as soon as more guards rushed into the library. “I guess not getting caught committing anything excessively terrible, by Arkham standards, is out the window.” I told myself. The backup guards, a total of six of them, wasted no time when they had me beaten down with their electro batons. The last thing I felt before everything went black were the surges of electricity that ran through me.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 7

“My God, Jonathan, I can't believe what I'm hearing from you. This is a serious matter we're discussing! Twisting the mind of a person who's gone through such a traumatic experience! Even for a person like yourself, this is beyond the pale. How can you possibly understand what Jason went through?” Jeremiah asked. Something changed within me the second I heard Jeremiah's question. I could no longer keep my emotions in check. I kept my tone of voice relatively monotone up to this point. My words seethed with resentment, “How can I possibly understand what Jason went through?! Really?! Do you want to go there, Jeremiah?! Do you remember Lyle Bolton, Arkham's previous head of security? Of course, you do! Everyone does! Unless you have gone senile! I was nearly beaten to death by Lyle Bolton on your watch! I fought against death for over six months while I recovered in Arkham's Medical Facility! During one of Jason's sessions, I confided in him about my near-death experience! Come to find out, Jason was beaten the same way by The Joker right before a bomb explosion! Not only did I tell Jason about Lyle Bolton, I also described to Jason how much of a living hell your precious asylum ‐” Jeremiah interrupted before I could finish, “You know what Jonathan? I'm officially fed up with you. I've heard enough of your nonsense.” When I thought about what just happened, I was taken aback. Fuck… what have I done? I never had a flare-up in front of Jeremiah, or any other staff in Arkham for that matter, before. I felt a sense of shame, because of my blunder. I had everything under control, but lost it. Has my relationship with Jason affected me so much that I am incapable of controlling myself? I hung my head low. Jeremiah harshly wrote down more notes. At least I still managed to infuriate Jeremiah. “Jonathan, this will be your last therapy session at The Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Right before this session, I and the other Doctors had a long discussion about you. We all came to the conclusion you are a lost cause. A complete waste of our time. Twelve years have passed, and you've shown zero signs of recovery. Quite the opposite. Not just your psychological condition, but your physical condition is worse than ever. Look at yourself! The constant exposure of your fear toxin has changed your appearance. You don't have a single strand of hair on your body. Your obsession with fear has turned you into a madman! You'll end up suffering the same fate as many other Arkham patients. Locked away for the rest of your life until the day you die.” Jeremiah announced as he slammed my profile shut. I now felt a sense of relief after I heard I no longer had to deal with Jeremiah's ridiculous therapy. If this was my last session, I refused to sit back and allow Jeremiah to have the last word. I curled my lips one last time. “Just like Great Uncle Amadeus…” I mocked. Jeremiah's face darkened, and he shouted at the top of his lungs, “GUARDS!”

The Guards escorted me out of Jeremiah's session room, and took me to the Arkham Library. The Arkham Library, my personal haven. Even though the library was located at the asylum, I still cherished it. The library was chock-full of so many aged rare leather-bound books, with gold gilded pages, the public have not seen for over a century. If I had my way, I would have brought them all home years ago. These books did not deserve to be imprisoned here. I am surprised Jeremiah to this day has me sent to the library every afternoon, considering it was my only comfort within the asylum's walls. The only logical conclusion I could come up with was that the library was safer than the communal area. Obviously, safer for everyone else, not myself. The communal area used to be my playground. I could not remember the last time I was escorted to Arkham's Communal Area. Because they avoided destroying the aged Gothic architecture, like The Arkham Mansion, as much as possible there were no security cameras wired up in the library. Many past Arkham employees, Lyle Bolton included, pushed for camera installation but none of it came to fruition. I never took advantage of the situation, because I knew I would be giving Jeremiah ammo to prohibit me from entering the library. As long as I was not caught committing anything excessively terrible, by Arkham standards, Jeremiah did not have any legal right to have me sent to solitary confinement. Much to Jeremiah's annoyance, I was sure of it. I brushed my fingers along the books on the shelves until I found the one I left off yesterday. The book I began to read was a worn-down, barely recognizable edition of Howard Phillips Lovecraft's Necronomicon. Very fitting, most people, including myself, would say. I have already reread all of Lovecraft's works including fiction, nonfiction, poetry, et cetera, over and over again. However, I will never get tired of them. Lovecraft used to visit Arkham Asylum often while he wrote about men who went mad after they learned the forbidden knowledge, or survived an experience beyond their comprehension. This asylum inspired Lovecraft so much that he created his own fictional asylum, plus a town, and named the two after it. Perhaps Jeremiah was right? Have I become one of these madmen straight out of Lovecraft's stories?

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 5

I turned my back on Jason, and walked away in a stiffened stride. “I love you, Jonathan. I'll see you tomorrow.” Jason said. I neither stopped nor turned around. “I love you too.” I hesitantly replied back. Jason and I parted ways for the evening.

One Week Later

“Patient session one hundred and fifty-six. Good afternoon, Jonathan. How are you doing today?” Jeremiah asked after he started the tape recorder. The obnoxiously bright blue-toned LED panel lights spread across the ceiling reflected off the white walls, which never had a single stain or speck of dust, and began to irritate my eyes due to lack of sleep. Jeremiah and I sat in his Italian leather therapy furnishings located in the usual session room I have been interviewed in for twelve years now. I could hardly believe it has been that long. I evaded Jeremiah's question. “Good afternoon, Jeremiah.” I said with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Jeremiah wrote down some notes under my mountain of paperwork of a profile. “I see. You're going to be like this again.” Jeremiah sighed. Ever since I was sent to Arkham with Jason, something about Jeremiah's supposed therapy sessions felt different. It was as if I could not muster up the energy to play psychological mind games with Jeremiah. I did not know why. I usually played around with Jeremiah's words, twisting and exploiting them. Perhaps it was my age catching up with me. At least I was not nearly as bad as Jeremiah. He looked like the life was sucked out of him. All I saw now was a haggard husk. A man who has been fighting a holy war he never stood a chance of winning from the start. Trying to cure the ailments that permeated all of Gotham was futile. Is there truly anyone who can become Gotham's Lord and Savior? Batman flies around, pretending he is Gotham's knight in dark armor, but Jason confessed to me, he is not. At times, I cannot help but wonder if there is some kind of dreadful curse choking the life out of Gotham. “Our previous session was short-lived. However, Jonathan, this time I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen. Today, we'll be discussing your relationship with Jason Todd, also known as Red Hood.” Jeremiah said. I gritted my teeth. “Of course you do, Jeremiah. To be honest, I am surprised you have not brought up Jason yet.” I said. “I've been studying the two of you to get a deeper understanding of the extent of your relationship. Waiting for the right moment, you could say. Last week, I saw something interesting that one of my security guards showed me. It was Jason, let's say, showing an overwhelming amount of affection towards you in the cafeteria. Fascinating, really. Although I've heard various rumors about Selina Kyle and Batman, this is the first time I have personally seen a vigilante and one of you Rogues Gallery involved in an intimate relationship.” Jeremiah acknowledged. Damn you Jason, I told you not to expose us! As if Jeremiah read my mind, he continued, "I'm keeping it under wraps if you want to know. I ordered my security guard not to leak anything. Are you listening to me, Jonathan?” Jeremiah asked. “Yes, I'm listening.” I said as I gave Jeremiah a long, hard look. “Good. Now, to begin our discussion, my first question is how in the world you swayed Jason to be so infatuated with you? I never saw you, out of all my patients, to be the passionate type. You have never been involved in any recorded intimate relationships. During all your years as The Scarecrow, the only thing that you've shown to care about is your obsession with fear, and the only motivating factor in your life is your research.” Jeremiah said. I stayed silent and thought about my response. I will admit, I was never the type to show or share my emotions with others. Not even with those I have considered friends. I merely revealed my emotional side to Jason under rare circumstances. The fire in my belly unexpectedly lit back up. I knew exactly how to respond to Jeremiah. Instead of giving in to Jeremiah's mind games, I was going to exploit his ego. I slipped into my usual cold, calculating exterior.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 4

During the moment of silence, I turned my head to talk to Jason, but noticed how tensed up he was while he stared at the young lady. “Hey, Jason, are you alright?” I whispered genuinely worried about him. After he did not answer my question, I placed my hand on his shoulder. When the moment of silence was over Jason snapped out of his faze. Jeremiah's words turned into background noise while Jason and I spoke to each other. “I…umm… I-I'm fine.” Jason stammered. I could tell from Jason's body language alone, he was not fine. “Yeah, right Jason. You are a nervous wreck. Do you know that young lady? You were staring right at her.” I said. Jason ran his fingers through his stark black hair. “Fine, you caught me. I might know her, she looks familiar. One of my exes or someone.” Jason said. I raised my brow ridge, where one of my eyebrows used to be located, at Jason. “Exes? You told me you were not involved in any previous intimate relationships.” I said. “Yeah, intimate, meaning I shared nothing about my personal life or emotional baggage until you came along. I wasn't a virgin like you, remember?” Jason bantered. Numerous past sessions with Jason sprung to my mind. Many of them were full of unsavory stories about Jason's early youth, before he became Robin, and sexual intercourse. I was left disgusted and outraged after Jason told me what happened to him as a street kid. Those same feelings were present when I once met a young lady named Molly Randall. Jason revealed to me during one of his sessions how Batman had a filed report about Molly, and he read it while he was Robin. One of the many reasons why we bonded so well, I suppose. “Yes, Jason, I remember.” I muttered. My intuition told me Jason still tried to hide something from me. Too weary to discuss the subject any further, I decided to drop it for the time being. Not only that, but our time in the cafeteria was up. Before I knew it everyone started to make their exit. “Well, time to go.” I said. “Fuck, time flies so fast whenever we're together.” Jason sulked. We stood up from our table and hung in the very back of the crowd as we strolled out. All of a sudden, Jason paused midway, took hold of me by the waist, and reeled me in like a fish on a rod. Jason gave me a deep warm kiss while he held me in his arms. My eyes shut closed to avoid eye contact. I went weak in the knees as I shuddered under Jason's touch. Jason's fully matured stalwart frame, a couple inches taller and far more robust than my own, has thrown me off ever since we have been together. A part of me is used to Jason being one of Batman's brat sidekicks I fought against on numerous occasions years ago. I usually despised the big muscular types, because of men like Lyle Bolton, Bromley, Bo Griggs, and many others I have encountered throughout my life. There was something different about Jason that made my heart involuntarily flutter. It was the swashbuckling personality Jason possessed. Jason proved himself to be valiant, Herculean… fearless. At times too fearless. All of Jason's qualities combined made him so hard to resist, even for me. Though Jason did not show it on a regular basis he also possessed a high degree of intellect I appreciated. Once my eyes opened back up, the first thing I saw were Jason's virile facial features and fierce blue eyes. I pulled away from Jason, and checked the cafeteria to see if anyone else was around. “Don't worry Jonathan I made sure no one saw us.” Jason said. I crossed my arms and huffed. “No one besides whoever is currently watching the cameras.” I scolded Jason. “Give me a break. As if those guys are ever paying attention.” Jason nonchalantly said. “Let us hope they were not this time.” I still scolded. “Whatever, even if they did, I think it was well worth it. Don't lie to yourself you enjoyed it too. So, I… guess this is a good night then?” Jason asked as he scratched the back of his head. “Yes, I have to go now before the guards notice I am missing. Good evening Jason.” I said.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 3

My lips quivered. “Jason… we are not only friends. I… I was Harley's Professor back in Gotham University.” I revealed to Jason for the first time. A look of shock spread across Jason's face. “Oh, Jonathan.” Jason murmured. I shook my head away from Jason's hand, and looked away from him. I fought against my emotions, and tried to take hold of them. Jason ended up resting his free hand back on top of my unembraced one. Jason started to laugh out of the blue after a few moments passed. My eyes narrowed, and I gave Jason a sideways glance. “What's so funny?” I asked. Jason cracked a grin as big as The Cheshire Cat's. “A thought popped into my head. We're kinda Gotham's Romero and Juliet now. No one from both sides, The Bat Family or Gotham's Rogues Gallery, will accept the fact we're together.” Jason said. I blushed with utter embarrassment, and lowered my head back down. “Fuck off. Except for the fact I am not planning on committing suicide anytime soon. Especially here. I would rather not spend the rest of my existence with the rest of the Arkhams.” I said. Jason softly chuckled. “Oh Jonathan, don't worry, neither am I. We're tougher than the Arkhams. Although now that I think about it…starving yourself to death would technically speaking be considered suicide. So, are you going to eat?” Jason playfully asked. “Sure… if that will make you feel better.” I jabbed right back. I have grown fond of Jason's presence and his macabre sense of humor. Jason released my hands, so I could eat. Jason looked all smug as he crossed his arms while I ate.

While I finished up eating the garbage Arkham has always served, Jeremiah Arkham and Joan Leland strolled into the cafeteria. After they stopped at the center of the room, Jeremiah shouted into his megaphone, “Attention to all Arkham guards and inmates!” Everyone in the cafeteria looked towards Jeremiah's direction. Then I noticed something peculiar. There was a third person with Jeremiah and Joan. A young lady. I had not noticed her at first, because Jeremiah stood in front of her slim, petite stature. She had sleek bone straight black hair styled to look like a 1920s flapper's bob cut by the looks of it, almond shaped bright blue eyes, sculpted face with a petite nose, and rosy cheeks contrasting her pale skin. “I would like to present you all the newest member of The Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane's staff, Kasumi Bonney. She will be one of your new night shift supervisors.” Jeremiah announced as he gestured towards the young lady. There were bursts of laughter coming from inmates and guards alike again. They made obscene sexual comments similar to the ones Jason and I endured earlier. This new supervisor is not going to have a good time. “EVERYONE BEHAVE YOURSELVES! THAT IS AN ORDER!” Jeremiah hollered into the megaphone loud enough he caused my eardrums to throb. Everyone around the cafeteria winced in pain. Great… I knew for sure that was going to turn into a headache later on tonight. “Good. As you all know, one of our latest night shift supervisors, Frankie Smith, recently took his life by jumping off of Dead Man's Point. Kasumi Bonney here will be his replacement. We will now have a moment of silence to honor the memory of Frankie Smith.” Jeremiah bluntly said. Jeremiah then closed his eyes, clasped his hands, and stood in the usual moment of silence position. Huh, Jason and I were just talking about suicide how lovely. No, I was not aware, but whatever, as if I cared. I hoped for this young lady's sake she does not end up jumping off of Dead Man's Point as well.

[sarah-nonaginta-novem]

Ego Sum Non Infirma: Chapter 1 Part 2

Thoughts about the incident at The Joker's Ha-Hacienda started to make my head swim. It all felt so surreal. The first part of our plan was to take out all of The Joker's men one by one or in small groups. Everything was going smoothly until… Batman showed up. Thoughts of Batman left a bitter taste in my mouth. The Joker was about to have his brains blown out after I handed him over to Jason like a sacrificial lamb. Batman saved The Joker from Jason while I dealt with Harley. Harley was not supposed to be in The Clown Prince Of Crime's throne hall to begin with. She was originally in the kitchen. After Harley found out I was there to assist Jason she went berserk. Before I knew it, Harley lunged on top of me like a wild animal. I had to fight off one of the few people I consider a friend as she tried to kill me. No, not just my friend, but my student. The only thing that stood between the two of us was my last syringe of fear toxin. I warned Harley to back down, however she refused. Harley forced my hand, and I injected her with the fear toxin. I felt an enormous amount of remorse as Harley screamed and begged to make it stop. It was her first time being exposed to the fear toxin. I never wanted her to be under the fear toxin's influence. Unsurprisingly, Harley's undying loyalty did not save her. The Joker abandoned Harley to save his own skin, as always. I had no time to do anything to help Harley, so I ran. I tried my hardest to save Jason after he was beaten unconscious by Batman, but I was not allowed to escape once the GCPD arrived. Now Harley is stuck here in Arkham with Jason and me. “No, she has not. None of my fellow Rogues Gallery colleagues have. Not even Jervis. I think they do not know what to make of our… so-called relationship.” I answered. “So-called relationship? Oh, come on Jonathan, don't be like that. Well, I know one thing for sure, Harley's never going to forgive me for killing her damned hyenas. What the fuck were their names again? Babe and Larry?” Jason asked. “I believe their names were Bud and Lou. Did you really have to kill them? We were there for only The Joker and his men.” I interrogated Jason. Harley's hyenas were with The Joker at the time. “Woah man, you have no room to talk! Harley was as rabid as those hyenas! I saw you struggling with her just as much, if not more. Don't forget your fear toxin could've killed her too.” Jason interjected. I lowered my head down and bit the bottom of my lip hard. Deep down, I knew Jason was right. I knew Harley was never going to forgive me for being the originator of the conflict as well. I am the one who coaxed Jason to confront The Joker. The thought of doing it himself secretly petrified Jason. His first attempt failed, soon after Ra's Al Ghul had him resurrected. Jason was one of the most fascinating patients I have ever encountered. An actual human being resurrected from the dead. I wanted to observe how events would have unfolded, and was curious how much Jason's psyche would have changed after he was given the chance to kill The Joker. Although the job was not completed, it was still a once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. To my dismay, the consequences were severe. I may have burned bridges with Harley forever. Granted, I have wanted The Clown gone for good, along with Jason. I highly doubted we were the only ones. Everyone else was just too afraid to get the job done. The Joker has towered over all of us like a tyrant for far too long. I have grown weary of his toxic suffocating presence tormenting everyone around him into compliance over the years. Far too chaotic and heinous even by my standards. Harley would be better off if The Joker was permanently removed from her life. I was on the verge of tears when Jason lifted my chin. My vision was clouded with moisture. “Hey, I didn't mean to upset you so much. I forgot how close you and Harley are as friends. I'm sorry.” Jason comforted.