#scamazon
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Oh so you know how sometimes Amazon ships shit in those brown paper bags? And how it says you can recycle it like you would a box?
Yeah no you can't. Theres styrofoam glued between the paper to add padding and unless you scrap every last tiny bit off you can't recycle it (: and even if you could scrape it all off, theres no guarantee that your local recycling center will even take it bc of the glue and shit used on the envelope itself
Isn't that a fun fact? :)
#scamazon#amazon#recycle#reduce reuse recycle in that order#i got a package today and was like hey can i recycle? oh yeah it says right there#and i cut the label off and peeled the paper layers apart and was like 😡😡😡#and when you recycle things wrong sometimes the whoooole batch gets tossed so you'll waste less theoretically to just throw away your#envelope rather than try to recycle it#i wish you could like mark the type of packaging you want but that's more work for the employees who are timed to the millisecond so#it would likely be them suffering more than anything so :/#i hate when companies are like uwu we're soo environmentally sustainable! and they do this shit#marquilla
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Wooooow, Amazon. A full *36 days* to get to me. Uh huh. I ordered it on the 30th of June and it hasn't even shipped yet. And today you finally stop taunting me with the "arrives between the 17th and the 6th" nonsense and just decide to put "arrives by Aug 6" instead.
It's been three weeks since I ordered and it hasn't even been shipped yet. Holy fuck, I wish I could abandon them entirely. I love my small town but there are things I just can't find locally and ordering through Walmart is no better. Augh! 🤬
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YAKUZA IS GETTING A LIVE SERIES???????
#as if they can beat the live action movies though lbr#NO FUCKING WAY I CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF#the only benefit to streaming services is that we get a wider variety of content but I hope the quality is good#seems like scamazon is going for video games and net is going for the book industry for content ideas#unless it’s animated and then it’s all up in the air at that point since most animated video game stuff ends up on net
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so, uh,
good omens, season 2, last episode, last few minutes.
yep.
yeP.
YYYYEP.
#i am on fire#it hurt it killed me 10 out of 10#good omens 2#phuz drabbles#im very relieved to know that neil and david and michael are all on board with it 100% bc if they werent it wouldnt work#as a queer I NEED this to end happily lol#i know WHEN theres a s3👀stares at scamazon#it will be worth it#but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN#they fucking#fucking OUCH#peter cushing#corruption#love that death pose btw i must use it more often#when im feeling DEAD
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Should I scam amazon?
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If you want a copy of the Julie Rose Translation's audiobook (narrated by George Guidall), send me a message using tumblr chat.
#dddddistribute some fffffree literature.#les miserables#not comfortable linking it directly because its a scamazon property lol!
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im starting to dna because I get sketched out with lyftibg from store so im gonna make a list this my list so far
green = success
red = unsuccessful
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scamazon = 70 bukz new acc
teamoo = 95 dollaz talked to a “assistant” that was a bot and it instantly gave me a refund no questions besides if i looked around, new fresh account
ive done like 3 other dnas on scamazon a couple of months ago with all new accounts, im pretty sure i actually dnad the 3 other times on one singular account 😭 i hear people say to not do them but theyre the only place ive ever dnad but then again im not very experienced
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this is the worst product listing image ive seen in a while. its incredible how 3 dollar plastic items on scamazon have extensive listings but commercial/industrial products will have one blurry distance picture of the previous iteration, thousands of dollars starting
BRO WATCH OUT YOURE GONNA CRASH
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my shitty fucking deadbeat dad applied to be an scamazon customer service rep :( maybe one day when i do a 🧬 ill get him lol
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We finally got a new landline phone and this one we can block numbers on (immediately blocked moms brother in law and niece) and weve had it for a few days but we still cant figure out how to get it to take messages?? Bitch????
I think I fixed it but weve thought that like four times already
Also the robot voice is British ew... and the ringer is sooo loud and annoying it gives me headaches 😭 only benefit is the blocking
#and we're not dealing with the hassle of scamazon refunds and it was $90 for the landline + 2 handhelds so we've not trying another one#i literally went 'ew its British' when we hit the answering machine button sgdggdgdgd#we had one once that would read out the caller id and we'd make fun of it all the time like in the same robot voice 'call from MOM... call#from MOM... call from MOM...' over and over#the last phone i set the ringer limit to 3 then voicemail and now its 4 then voicemail bc we compromised :/#im just waiting for the scam caller to call bc im blocking that bitch to hell and back mwhahahahaga eat shit bitch!#even if you did answer the phone and say no we're not interested in donating he would call back in 3 days! or the next day!!! like BITCH#IM BROKE!!#marquilla
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America in 2040 be like:
Chat GPT 7.0™, the CEO of Scamazon-Ballmart™, has ordered the minimum wage to be reduced to one ElonCoin™ per hour. All who refuse will be put in the Lockheed-Wagner™ contraption.
#shitpost#anti capitalist#anti ai#vent#anti capitalism#fuck ai#fuck amazon#fuck walmart#fuck crypto#fuck elongated muskrat
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Just got a cute lvlvl3m0n skirt!! Used a hook detacher from scamazon alsooo got a s3x toy from scamazon and got my money back claiming the parcel was partially empty whoop whoop
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Season 2 (potential) Clues
Get ready for another theory post y'all we don't have enough clearly
GIF made with help by @afhyer
Being a collection of things I found weird/noteable in Season 2 that could be potential Clues for Season 3. (and my theories, some sound, some crackpot)
Note 1: I use my dudes non-genderedly
Note 2: I am not tech savvy enough to get screenshots from Scamazon or make gifs or anything so sorry for the low-quality phone images/lack of images in some cases
Jim and the God Possession
Jim and the whole memory loss thing was a great part of the show, but it did bring up some interesting moments when Jim got God-possessed (As I like to call it). These moments prove to be fairly crucial, especially the first one.
It’s through the God-voice that Aziraphale and Crowley get to thinking about the Job job. Now I have oodles of theories about what this does to/for them, but ultimately I think it comes down to relaying two main ideas. 1. There’s always a work around to the main problem
2. Demons (and to an extent angels) have free will/a choice
Now the second one is less God-like but still leads us (and Crowley) into the minisode about the magic show. Here we learn two more important pieces of information.
1. There’s such a thing as a miracle block
2. Aziraphale and Crowley can pull off tricks without needing to use miracles
My (crackpot-ish) Theory: knowing Gabriel is commonly referred to as God’s messenger in many bibles/renditions, I think it’s likely that he got redirected to Aziraphale’s shop by God to deliver these messages.
Aziraphale’s reactions during the Beelzebub/Gabriel scene
They’re feckin’ weird, my dudes.
I noticed two things right off the bat.
First. His lovey-dovey face.
Okay, I know we all know that Aziraphale feels love and that he loves love, but that doesn’t seem to be the entirety of what’s going on here. Look at that face! LOOK AT IT!
Extremely crackpot theory: Aziraphale knew about Gabe and Beelz’s relationship ahead of time.
Most likely theory: Aziraphale is happy seeing proof that it’s possible to find something more important than choosing sides
(couldn't get a gif but watch it cause there's certainly a thought pattern going on when this happens) Second. His reaction when Crowley tells Gabriel and Beelzebub about Alpha Centauri. He looks both saddened and regretful. WHY? Not just because he rejected Crowley once, but because (crackpot theory) he knows he��s gonna have to reject him again!!! Idk whatever way you look at it that’s QUITE the reaction to Crowley giving away their spot like that.
Crowley's reactions after
Let’s start with whatever Crowley is up to when the angles are all talking.
He’s just off, lounging in the chair. Doing nothing. Doesn't even RESPOND when Michael threatens to erase Aziraphale. Mr. I DID NOT CARE FOR IT, just sits there and lets that go unanswered. WHY??? Even if the book of life isn’t real like he claims, it’s still a little out of character for him to just do nothing at all. And the fact that he just sends Azirpahale off with the Metatron after is like…bruh really?
Okay now, go look at Crowley AFTER Aziraphale goes for a chat with the Metatron. IDK about anyone else but this boy does not look happy. (couldn't get any clear shots SOB) He looks angry when he’s talking to Muriel about the breakfast. And when was the last time he mentioned needing an extreme amount of alcohol? When they were trying to stop the first apocalypse.
I know that everyone’s thinking he’s all excited and happy to go see Aziraphale and get together etc. But this all happened BEFORE Maggie and Nina walked over to tell him to confess.
My Theory: Crowley does know Aziraphale, and knows how badly he wants to work with heaven and be good and all that jazz. Which is why he’s anticipating Aziraphale coming back to say, hey I’ve been offered a job. He expects them to go talk it over at breakfast and is preparing to say goodbye/help him come up with a plan to stop armageddon pt2. But then he gets the idea to confess and Aziraphale hits him with the ‘be an angel again yay’ whammy, and he just loses it.
The Non-Acceptance Acceptance
Something just interesting to note…the Metatron sends Aziraphale into the bookshop with a ‘take your time, we don’t need an answer right away’ but then comes in right after Crowley leaves acting as if Aziraphale said yes all along.
Theory (potentially crackpot): The Metatron (potentially with the help of demon Maggie{I got ideas, my duded}) manipulated and orchestrated their breakup by getting them both to a heightened state of emotions and throwing them together. He knew Aziraphale would get into a fight with Crowley and that Crowley was the only reason he wouldn’t go with them.
The Coffee and the Embassy
Do I wish the coffee was super drugged and Aziraphale was not himself? Yes. But let’s put that idea aside and just look at the facts.
I’m gonna start with how weird it is that the bookshop is still an embassy. Aziraphale does call it an ex/past-heaven outpost, but it’s still his and still has heavenly power. Whereas Crowley lost his flat when he lost his job.
Why is this? It’s possible that the flat was owned by hell whereas Azirpahale bought the shop himself. But it still doesn’t explain why heaven was still ‘protecting’ the home of a ‘traitor’.
My theory for this does concern the coffee. But not the drink itself or what may or may not be in it. Rather, the way it’s presented to Aziraphale.
First, the Metatron says some of the things in that weird way of his, like the “hefty jiggy of almond” and whatnot. It sounds very ‘hint-hint wink-wink nudge-nudge’ to me, like he’s talking in code to Aziraphale.
Second, Aziraphale says that there’s nothing left to talk about, and he’s made his position quite clear. The only time we’ve seen them talk was in Season 1 when Aziraphale tries to talk to God. And in that conversation, Aziraphale didn’t say anything about his *position*.
My theory: Azirapahle and the Metatron talked at some point between S1 end and S2 end. Most likely very closely after S1 ended, and Aziraphale did something (perhaps made a deal) where he was able to keep the shop and maintain its embassy status.
Addendum HELLA CRACKPOT like so cracky it’s just a giant hole: Metatron secretly good guy come at me XD
The flow of the fight
So I won’t go deep into my big crazy theory about the fight being fake, but I will point out the strange things I noticed, why they feel off, and what I think it might mean…. I also could not garner the energy to take pictures of this scene sorry SOB
First, Aziraphale when he’s telling Crowley the ‘good news’. He keeps glancing out the window. As if checking that the Metatron is still watching. And if he’s watching, we don’t know if he’s maybe listening too. And Azirpahale’s whole attitude in this opening bit feels kind of like his stage-presence.
Next, we get the weird half-information about the talk with the Metatron. We don’t really see the full convo, which is part of the point, I believe. We don’t even know if that conversation happened at all.
After that, Crowley gets thrown for a loop with the whole restoring angel status, obvs. But then they go right into their old fight of heaven and hell and good and bad. Which was, I think, the main thing that’s a little off here. And that’s because of how much Aziraphale noticed and was seen noticing those ‘light-grays’ of the world and of the whole situation. The entire graverobbing bit was him learning that the difference between good and bad and right and wrong are blurred/a matter of how you view things.
Yes, the miscommunication is the main issue here, but the fact that the good/bad debate comes up again is interesting to note. Especially since it’s Aziraphale that pulls the hell is bad heaven is good card. If we go on the idea that this conversation is being bugged and they’re trying to talk between talking, it kind of seems like Crowley is throwing out the ‘I thought we weren’t choosing sides???’ and Aziraphale brings up the good/bad to indicate that it’s not about choosing sides but about doing what’s *right* (like saving goats and children).
Next, Crowley hits us with the line about heaven ending life on earth. Because he knows the angels were planning a second armageddon. Now I don’t believe that Crowley, for however hurt he is, believes that Aziraphale would willingly go along with that plan. But Azirpahale doesn’t know about it, right? This out of place line (in direct response to heaven being the side of truth light and good) is Crowley’s way of cluing Aziraphale in on the bigger picture. Note, specifically, the pause before Crowley speaks again as Aziraphale processes that.
Aziraphale didn’t say no, but he also didn’t say yes. I think this is the key point in the argument. Aziraphale just learned that heaven is still planning to try and destroy Earth. And he knows that if he does nothing, they probably will. So here he is, essentially accepting the job so that he can put a stop to it. And here he is trying to tell Crowley that’s his plan
Crowley understands what’s going on. And he decides to confess, right? This confession gets *interesting*. First, Aziraphale glances out the window when Crowley says they’re a team, yes? Because he’s still checking for Metatron’s presence. Second, Aziraphale looks confused by Crowley’s line of reasoning. Crowley is talking about them relying on each other and working together, but Aziraphale’s idea of that (in this situation anyway) would be him coming to heaven to help.
Crowley’s eyes wander a lot, but he also looks pointedly out the window at one point, while he’s struggling to get the words out. And I think that he’s trying to get his confession out while knowing that they’re being watched/listened to. I mean, gosh it’s tough enough to confess let alone when someone is watching.
As to why Crowley decided to confess: I don’t think it’s an act of desperation to get Aziraphale to choose him over heaven and just abandon everything. I think it’s his act of desperation to get Aziraphale to realize that going to heaven has BIG FUCKING TRAP written all over it and that they can do more to fix things together on Earth than anywhere/way else. And Aziraphale pulls a similar move by asking him to come with him. He knows it’s dangerous and he does need Crowley there to help.
Now this is another weird turn in the convo. After Aziraphale asks Crowley to come with him again, Crowley throws out ‘you can’t leave the bookshop’. And Aziraphale responds with the ‘nothing lasts forever’. Now I’m sure I’m missing something here because both of these lines feel so weird and out of place I’m gonna assume they are some kind of code or I’m dense about the line of reasoning here.
What’s really interesting tho is that Aziraphale looks kind of…hopeful? After he says it, right before Crowley walks away. Like he was expecting some kind of different reaction to that line. Maybe Crowley missed the Clue, too.
After that, it’s easy to see why Aziraphale would stop him from leaving and reharp on the point of them working together in heaven. He doesn’t know if Crowley fully understands the Plan, or if he’ll help when Aziraphale needs him. And he’ll definitely need him.
Then we get another little shift in the mood/convo. Aziraphale gets angry/frustrated, possibly because Crowley isn’t picking up on the idea. We’re so used to seeing Crowley get angry in their fights, but the few times Aziraphale does get angry he gets *angry*. Here, however, he’s clearly trying to mask it.
Okay, the whole Nightingales line, imma be honest, made no sense. Like, in the fandom it makes sense because of the song, but like, in the depths of this conversation I was like ??? what a strange way to put it. But Aziraphale does react to it, so we have to assume there’s something about it that they both understood/knew. (I will touch BRIEFLY on my ‘the entire argument was a magic trick bit’ to say that this is Crowley letting Aziraphale know that the kiss/his feelings aren’t part of the scheme).
I don’t even know with the whole ‘I forgive you’ bit, man. There’s a lot of ideas, but the way Aziraphale’s face changes from shocked, to sad, to angry, to immediate regret after says a lot as well. Crackpot theory: Aziraphale trying to change Crowley to an angel early by ‘forgiving’ him as the new supreme archangel so he can kidnap him away to heaven.
After the Fight
NOW! An important thing to note after the fight! When the Metatron mentions the second coming, yeah Aziraphale get’s that OH SHIT face. But I don’t think it’s an ‘oh shit they are up to no good’ face. It’s an ‘oh shit this is a different beast than just shutting down another apocalypse’. And the way he looks at Crowley after is very much a ‘help me I’ve bitten off more than I can chew’ kinda look.
Also a potentially important thing. Crowley’s face is pretty blank during both that and the driving away. Which is weird because his face is usually so expressive you can tell what he’s feeling even with the glasses on. He looks more…pensive than sad to me but that Could Just Be Me.
Aziraphale's fucking smile at the end
I mean just look at that, lil bastard. That’s totally a hahaha I FOOLED THEM face. Enough said.
The miracle block and Aziraphale's failed Jedi mind trick
Putting aside the totally real possibility that Maggie is a demon (further evidence available upon request), I thought it was weird that Aziraphale’s little jedi mind trick to try and get her to leave/forget about the night didn’t work.
Where else did we see miracles not work? The magic show!
My theory: Someone put a miracle block on the bookshop during the invasion. My addendum theory: It was Maggie
The weird music sting and Mrs. Chen
Furfur did mention that he could muster up a feel of illease/malcontent, but this moment when Mrs. Chen is heading in and we get that little music sting feels very weird. It’s such a noticeable/long cut that it just feels like it’s gotta be something more.
And it’s a very similar music sting as when the Metatron gives Crowley his lil evil snarl face My theory: I don’t even have one, but there’s something there.
Crowley not remembering people/the thing about not seeing their faces
Okay this one kinda gets a little iffy but stick with me for a second. Twice in the show we see Crowley not remembering someone (first, Furfur and then Saraqael). Now, someone asked Neil Gaiman about this and iirc his answer was something along the lines of ‘who says Crowley sees people’s faces?’
So, from that answer (if we can trust anything he says XD), we can gather that Crowley recognizes people based more on their aura/soul than their physical features.
Now then, this is an interesting thing to keep in mind when you see his reaction to new Beelzebub and Jim.
When he sees Beelzebub, he does immediately recognize a difference. But it’s important to note here: Beelzebub mentions they’ve had that face for ages. Remember this.
When he sees Jim, he recognizes him as Gabriel, even though we could suspect/assume that his aura/soul looks different since losing his memories and angel powers.
But what’s the real kicker, is that Crowley recognizes the Metatron off the fucking bat when none of the feckin’ angels do, despite probably having seen his giant floating head during the trial.!!!! AND let’s not forget the the Metatron instantly recognizes him as a demon and calls him as such when the rest of the season has shown multiple times that angels can’t immediately recognize demons (at least not on Earth)
Now, we can chock it up to, well yes Crowley would recognize their faces since he’s interacted with them more/more recently, but we should also keep in mind a very useful/common storytelling tactic: which is to make something important seem unimportant by playing it off as a joke.
A prime example is Jim and the fly. He tries to sway them with books, and makes a joke about gravity. But the fly did play an important role. The jokes distracted from the importance.
And both scenes of Furfur and Saraqael are played a bit as a joke from their reactions.
My theory: Crowley is suffering some kind of memory loss from the great war.
Addendum/Alternate theory: Some/Most demons got themselves new faces when they fell, and the face Beelzebub has now was their old angel one.
Gabriel and the Institutional Problem
I know the Scamazon subtitles were wrong BUT I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS AS A THEORY WHEN I FIRST WATCHED THAT I WANNA SHARE IT ANYWAY
When Jim is talking about what he remembers, he says “if it happens again, It can make it seem like an institutional problem.” But the og bad subtitles had him saying “if it happens again, *I* can make it seem like an institutional problem.” If the subtitles *were* correct it would put a pretty big disconnect between what the Metatron said in the trial and what Jim/Gabriel thought or said.
My now sadly discounted Theory: Gabriel was purposefully trying to expose the issues in heaven/lead to some kind of shenanigans that would shut down further apocalypse attempts. Crackpot Addendum: he was instructed to do so by God. ((And yes, if you're wondering, I did come back on Tumblr after like, 3 years of being gone just to post this nonsense thank you and goodnight!))
#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens season 2 spoilers#good omens seaons 2 theories#good omens season 3 theories#good omens theories
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Curse of the Sea Witches
I thought to take advantage of scamazon prime day so I bought a couple of TLM books. This is a kiddie graphic novel that takes place after the events of the original movie. It's not as long as I expected and the ending was pretty anticlimatic. Otherwise it's a so read. Plus I love the idea of Ariel exploring other regions and cultures!
The plot is about Ariel and Eric meeting Eric's cousin Magnus as he builds a new port. But it comes into direct conflict with a bitter mer-Queen Arnaaluk. Interestingly aside from a few unnamed background characters Eric and Ariel are the ONLY white people in the story XD
Yes Magnus has Inuit heritage/looks, take that grifters! 😁😁
I wanna say the story sounds like it could be a better sequel than the actual sequel. At least the plot is original and not a complete rehash.
Even the merfolk are designed with Inuit cultures in mind. I do find the skin color odd sine the og merfolk had regular skin and hair colors, though this might be done to make them more unique.
The conflict is fairly interesting and it's clear there isn't any real villain in it (uh oh, the "we want real villains again" crowd won't like the sound of that). But it shows how not everything is purely black and white. Both Magnus and Arnaaluk make good points and *spoilers* do compromise. Anticlimactic as it is.
The biggest flaw is there's no actual sea witches :(
I assumed there'd be something like a sea witch taking advantage of both sides to try to take over the Artic. But it turns out to be just a term used by the humans to describe the merfolk.
Anyways, it's a pretty good addition to the Disney Mermaid lore. I hope there's more stories detailing Ariel's exploring more human cultures in the future!
I think I might use this as a fanfic now.
#the little mermaid#disney#graphic novels#comics#disney comics#disney princesses#ariel#tlm 1989#ariel and the curse of the sea witches#books#bookblr#review
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scamazons cs is literally a joke bc the last time i ordered there the first agent told me to file a police report so i just started a new chat and the other agent gave me a refund without any questions
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Why the absolute fuck does my ancient barely functioning kindle need me to connect to wifi to go to scamazon dot cum to look at my library of predownloaded items????
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