#sbstart

[blake-manson]

Twitter

@b_manson: just because you CAN down 8 shots of tequila in a sitting doesn't mean that you SHOULD

@b_manson: I make horrible life choices that I should be ashamed over but I'm not.

[jaxenwyattdevine]

I love Pokemon Go and respect all the ones playing it and shit, but if there’s a Pokemon on someone that you’re trying to catch, tell them instead of throwing the phone at them, which by the way isn’t how you’re supposed to catch them in the first place. 

[jfcisaacnicholson]

You know, disowning a child is the hardest thing I’ve had to do today. Turns out my child is not who I thought she was.

[gabrielanthonibrewster]

To those who judge me for getting breakfast at Mickey’s at 8 in the morning in my pajamas, go way you’re killing my vibe. And I’m hungover as fuck 

[hadleykelliperron]

Touch my food and I will not hesitate to bite you myself, I am that damn hungry.

[avamarierivera]

Twitter:

@AvaMarie: Now that schools out for the summer....We’re holding a summer blow out party at the club!

[declankaihayes]

My first Saturday night off work and what am I doing? Sitting here watching reruns of Friends and eating ice cream for dinner

[presidentpaigey]

Holy shit, school is almost over for good on my end and I’m so calm. Is this a normal thing?

[omgrylan]

I really hate to whine about the subject but people who don’t tip your waitresses... why do you even exist?

[gabrielanthoniebrewster]

Just got looked at up and down by a girl at the gym, she said “I’d ride that.” winked at me then left. My day just got better. 

[blake-manson]

Is it rude to tell someone that your baby doesn’t like being touched but really they don’t mind it but you didn’t want someone with bear claws poking at them? 

[jaxenwyattdevine]

By the end of the year, I’m going to be the one in the yearbook who gets voted ‘Fisted the Most’, I swear

[jfcisaacnicholson]

Nothing screams ‘Dad I love you and want you to wake up’ like a seven year old kneeing you in the dick first thing in the morning. 

[gabrielanthonibrewster]

I’ve found a new addiction that might replace Guinness. Chocolate drizzled crisps. 

[hadleykelliperron]

Debating on getting new ink, but deciding on what exactly is a pain in the ass

[avamarierivera]

Apparently throwing fries at waitstaff is frowned upon but talking shit about the customers they’re about to serve in front of them is nothing bad. What the actual fuck?