#saying the most batshit things with a straight face. literally dying for someone they just met.
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tali-zorahs · 2 years ago
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one part character study, one part ship art
this is a redo of art (from 2020) that i never actually posted on tumblr, in honor of me finally beating the blue lions route
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dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad · 2 years ago
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funniest parts of inside job pt 2
mommy likey drinky
“santa is fake! but student debt is real!” “you had to learn sometime, brayden”
“this is gonna be the most globally damaging midlife crisis since elon musk” oh that is APT
“ok boomer”
“are you poland? because that german guy straight-up owned you”
reagan saying that alex jones “looks like an orangutan fucked a fire hydrant”
“i’m the only one left who will listen to me!”
spending the whole episode confused on why oprah is back and then seeing her yell “i’m not the first oprah!”
“our missions do feel suspiciously like b-stories”
“why is my wallet on a metal leash? where would it be trying to go?”
lights being mothman’s kryptonite is a very obvious joke but it still works every time
KEANU FUCKING REEVES
“MOTHERFUCKER!” “well, he is fucking reagan’s mother, so yes. motherfucker.”
*takes out a lotus* “i don’t put these in my pocket. they grow there spontaneously.”
“i’m feeling drained from staring meaningfully into the distance”
“after dating so many billionaires, his millionaire lifestyle keeps me grounded”
the pussy posse being amazed and confounded by brett’s respect women juice
the real reason leonardo dicaprio only dates women under 25
“someone on the internet found out margot robbie is cgi” FINALLY SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME
reagan accidentally imitating owen wilson
“when i’m done with you, men will look at you the way they look at me: briefly!”
gigi’s reaction to her make-under: “i wanna cyberbully myself!”
tamiko’s reaction to rand turning into a literal manchild: “way to turn subtext into text, rand”
myc’s absolutely SAVAGE comebacks at the constitution heist
“how would the founding fathers feel about this?” “probably the same way your father feels about you”
“ok, give me the word and i’ll blow the hell out of this thing” “said your ex-wife to brett’s dick”
“aliens? a woman being in charge of a team? nobody’s gonna believe this!”
“it’s a psychic union where everyone thinks the same and acts the same like fucking marvel fans” HGFHJGSDHKJHSJGH
“the last time i saw a white guy that generic, he was on a don’t walk sign!”
“fresh dirt is brought to you by blue apron. do you only care about the environment when it’s super convenient?”
INCEL STEVE
“how did he get that hoodie?”
“WE’VE BEEN FUCKED BY THE POPE!” “for the love of god, CONTEXT!”
saying “when in rome” is half the reason people come to rome
the gay dog weddings
“i now pronounce you two very good boys!”
“that’s me in the corner, losing my religion.”
reagan offending the italians (again)
“oh man, if god is real, i’m fucked”
“in the name of the father the son and the HOLY SHIT”
in a vow to make air travel as inconvenient as possible, the third wright brother invented sharing an armrest
“i deserve to be punished. i still quote borat sometimes”
“look! a woman’s ankle!”
*takes one look at hell* “those flamin’ hot cheetos commercials really nailed it.”
“i love cable news. it’s like watching the apocalypse in slow motion.”
gigi describing brett as “the comic sans of people”
andre reminding us how old millennials are now
“destroying your brother’s political legacy. what are you, a bush?”
the ayn rand tattoo
brett accidentally unionizing and legalizing sex work
“the solution just seemed so obvious”
“because faking your own death worked so well last time, reagan. redundant much?”
“maybe all conspiracies are real!” “oh, that’s not good.”
brett’s lil brett puppet
lil brett dying
lil brett going absolutely batshit crazy during the entire end credits of that episode
“you look like a white girl at burning man!”
the coughing and face-touching station
“the only way you’re associated with the number 300 is in pounds.” “you calling me fat?” “explicitly!”
“i literally have no idea what you’re going to say next!” “vagina egg.”
“i feel like we have the same interests. wanna start a podcast?” “no! this is like a siren song for straight white men!”
reagan once used cheetos as croutons
*route 96 turns into route 69* “haha, nice”
the fact that andre is just the original text of the “one fear” meme
“fun for ages six to six and a half!”
berenstain bears originally being berenstein makes SO MUCH SENSE
“and finally the rich white underdogs became the rich white ruling class. an inspirational story”
jr refusing to put his shirt back on
brett gives a tinfoil hat to the shazaam poster and it WORKS
“turns out i wasn’t pregnant, i just had way too much del taco” “i’ve been there”
“you said something nice, but it felt mean!”
mothman’s alternate timeline was a reverse of the fly
andre is canonically into tentacle hentai
lampshading the plot holes
“me? in charge of a whole workforce, like santa?”
“how many oscars is meryl streep supposed to have? three seems kinda low”
andre, just having shoved nixon back into his grave, now covered in blood and holding a shovel: “i don’t wanna talk about it”
air bud!!
“i could beat a dog in chess! probably.” same, brett, same
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soft-sunflower · 4 years ago
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Flower of Evil Thoughts- Episode 12: Part 1
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Okay, just when I think these episodes can't get any better than the last, I get CONTINUOUSLY proven wrong! How is this show SO amazing!? Okay, let's start with the recap and my thoughts.
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WOW this episode really started off with a bang, didn't it?? I was floored how crazy unmother found out the real Heeseong, her real son, was a serial killer. I was legit creeped out by the fact that he kept commemorative photos of his kidnappings and killings, but what really fucked me up was the fact that he kept their fingernails. So NOW we know where the other sets of fingernails went... I guess Do Minseok kept the ones on the right hands and Heeseong kept the ones on the left hand. Just ughhh ewwww. This is seriously so disgusting. That really grossed me out. So, was unmother going to commit suicide? She held a blade to her wrist and then she looks out the window, and what does she see?? Heeseong... trying to bury a body in the rain. I mean what even??? This whole family has upped the evil factor. If there's any flower of evil blossoming? It's the Baek family.
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And who's body is it!? None other than Do Hyunsoo! The man he just hit with his car! I mean REALLY!? He was going to legit BURY Hyunsoo alive??? This guy is the psychopath, this guy is the batshit crazy one, this guy is the serial killer. NOT Hyunsoo. It's kinda funny, I was talking to my husband and I said. "Well, the synopsis sorta got it right. Heeseong is definitely a serial killer, only it's the REAL Heeseong and not the fake Heeseong, which is Hyunsoo." We both were like "Yep. Heeseong IS a serial killer and did it right along with Do Minseok." Funny, that.
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He’s so casual like “Oh don’t mind me. Just gonna bury this man I hit with my car alive. Go back inside.” So, ole Mommie Dearest over here goes all feral on her serial killer son and straight up stabs his ass declaring she’s scared of him. You know what, lady? I am too. He’s kinda terrifying. I swear if you gave that boy an axe and told him to go chop wood, he'd turn it around and do a Lizzie Borden on your ass. This family as a whole is a complete whack job.
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Oooookay so we're back in the present now, and what do we have here??? Heeseong. Sitting up in his chair and guess what he's doing. SPEAKING. NORMALLY. None of that "I just got out of a coma and I'm slow" speech he'd been doing since last week. Yeeeeah I knew his bullshit he was pulling was a whole-ass act. Okay, so last week, when I saw the preview at the end of Ep 11 and they were all screaming about finding a buried body? I had a theory that it was going to be the maid's body they find, considering the way the crazy mother was freaking at out her wanting to know what all she knew. Now you have Heeseong being threatening with this lady. I'm getting death flags everywhere for her.
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Oh look... creepy hospital trash dad is deep the blood cleaning Heeseong's car, phone rings and there we got trafficker man, Yeom Sangchul. Soooo, Heeseong owed him money and dad paid him off to cover his son's ass??? DUDE. What is WRONG with this family!? What is WRONG with these people!? They're legit messed tf up! And can they STOP trying to "take care of" Hyunsoo already?? The constant putting out a hit on him is getting frustrating. "Either Hyunsoo lives or we do." UM. You both are TWISTED old FUCKS who don't deserve life after all the crap you've pulled. Hyunsoo deserves life. He's more human than all of you. You don't, if that's how it's going to be. I'd love to watch them rot in prison.
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YAY!!! There's our couple!!! Coming out of Hyunsoo's shop looking like a legit BADASS power couple!!! YASSSSSSSSS!!! And... what's this??? What?? Detective Choi wants a cup of coffee??? Weird... it almost seemed as if Jiwon WAS expecting some kind of Swat team out there to arrest her husband. Jiwon looks confused on what's happening, Hyunsoo is just quietly accepting it all. And when they go inside and Sunbae almost appears, reluctant and hesitant. He even thanks Hyunsoo for being the informant, which I did NOT expect. I knew there was a reason why I liked him from the start. He's redeeming himself.
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Haesoo is really stunned over the fact that Jiwon knows the truth about Hyunsoo and who he is. And of course she's in a panic because she believes her brother left and so now would be the perfect time to turn herself in. Moojin tries his hardest to stop her, because obviousy he doesn't want to see her go to jail, but he's gotta stop being so pushy...
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Sunbae has a great personality, but when he starts questioning Hyunsoo over the murder he doesn't waver. Hyunsoo straight up tells him he had no motive for murdering the village head, unlike Jiwon who's crying out that he didn't do it. That's right. Because he DID NOT. The look that the husband and wife give each other, Jiwon just looks stricken by the fact that after what they went through last night, Hyunsoo still won't tell the truth. That he was not the one who murdered the village head. Hyunsoo just looks at his wife calmly. His expression is unreadable. He may have just been silently pleading with her to please respect his wishes. This is what he wants. He doesn't want this for his sister.
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Oh, Noona... not only was Hyunsoo's past so incredibly traumatic for him, but it was for you too. You've been deeply affected by this because of your overwhelming love for your brother and it's precious. It really is. It's heartbreaking watching him get thrown into repeated exorcisms at such a young age for something that was never even wrong with him. ALL of the adults in his life FAILED HIM. His father, the therapist, the villagers, and even his only friend along with his pack of cronies. They BRAINWASHED him into believing he was a bad person just like his father was, and it's HEARTBREAKING. It's so utterly HEARTBREAKING. I LOVE how strong-willed Noona delcaring she doesn't feel sorry for killing the old bastard who put this poor child through all of this.
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They threw things at him, beat him, hurt him... And when they cut to Hyunsoo after being beaten, he just looks dead inside... it's so devastating knowing that they forced him into believing he was being possessed by his father's ghost, to the point that he saw his father's ghost. Now, maybe he really DID see his ghost,  but the fact that he was so brainwashed into believing these things? My heart literally ACHES for Hyunsoo... Noona is right. Moojin is NO better. He turned his back on Hyunsoo when he needed him most. Tied him a tree, beat the crap out of him, stoned him. And every single person in that town FAILED Hyunsoo. Hyunsoo was the only real HUMAN out of all of them. And that is SO DEVASTATINGLY HEARTBREAKING. Because he was so unjustly and unfairly FAILED by people he needed most, EXCEPT for Noona.
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Okay, Sunbae knows something is going on. He knows that Hyunsoo claiming he killed the old man and how easily the weapon was found was just TOO convenient. He knows. NOW, I'm DYING to know who this one another witness was that said Hyunsoo wasn't a bad person? Was it Noona? Was it someone else? Because every single person in that village ostracized him, that we know of, asides from Haesoo. So what gives??? I want to know who it was... I'm just gonna place a bet that it was Haesoo who had her brother's back because she was the only one who ever did.
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Oh.. oh Sunbae... you are 100% and fully fledged redeemed. REDEEMED. Don't imprison an INNOCENT man!!! I think he KNOWS Hyunsoo is innocent, and the look on Hyunsoo's face... he knows the Hyunsoo and Haesoo's childhood tragedy. My heart just twisted. Sunbae. T_T Sorry, but the fact that Sunbae is letting him go, simply by saying he isn't interested in Do Hyunsoo anymore, and that Do Hyunsoo is a good person... I swear I had tears in my eyes because of the hope in theirs!!! I was smiling and had tears in my eyes just like Jiwon because FINALLY!!! He can live his life, he can be with his family, he can love his wife openly and happily, he can raise his daughter with no fear, and... wait, hold up... it's too damn happy. Way too happy. Something bad is going to happen... I can feel it. Yep. Something is coming to literally fuck up their happiness and it's stressful. It really is.
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OH GOD this SCENE. This next scene!!! I cried during this scene. I found myself sobbing because of the pure innocence of this scene alone. Our precious baby girl, Eunha!!! She's back!! And she's running and crying in his father's arms... You can already see the emotion on his face as he stoops down for his baby, and he's crying too... It's like years upon years of all these emotions that were built up and hidden behind iron walls are spilling out of him now that the floodgates have burst. Like he just can't help itself, and it's a beautiful thing. It's so good for him, it's cathartic and just what he's needed for so so long. All the years he spent locked behind that wall, believing he was something he wasn't, it's all been set free. He can FEEL. And he show what he's feeling without being told otherwise. He's free to love.
"Daddy! I missed you so so so much!!"
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Oh, little sweetie, he did too. He really did. So very much. All the years he's spent watching you grow and raising you, all of those memories and feelings for you, you precious little angel, are welling up inside of him and bursting out of him, on top of the fact that he doesn't have to say goodbye to his baby girl simply due to the fact that he's Do Hyunsoo. That's why he's crying. From the day she was born, to each one of her milestones and young triumphs throughout her life are so important because he sees it all so differently now. When Jiwon't mother says "She acts like they've been separated for years" and Jiwon remains quiet? Because in a sense, they have. Sure, he's seen Eunha almost every single day of her life, but he hasn't really SEEN her til now because he had a heavy, dark veil covering the eyes of his heart.
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He's seeing Eunha for the first time and feeling her with his heart, and i find that so overwhelmingly beautiful. Jiwon assures her mother that it's nothing when she worriedly asks what's wrong, that she's never seen him like this before. And Jiwon just tearfully smiles so gently and so softly at her precious family while they cry and embrace because she loves them so much. It's sweet how Jiwon's mother is concerned for them though lol. I wonder if she'll find out...? And how ADORABLE was it when Eunha told her daddy not to cry again because he misses her? She's such a precious little angel and such a good little girl. His kiss on her forehead was the sweetest thing too. What REALLY made me melt in tears was the fact that Hyunsoo says:
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"Eunha-ya, daddy loves you a lot."
And Eunha's arm heart... just... GOSH. T____T And even though she tells her daddy not to cry, you can see him tearing up again as he waves bye bye to his little girl off to preschool. It's so beautiful and refreshing to see him finally finding his emotions and finding his feelings and expressing them so honestly. And his little kiss on her forehead. Just end me. I can’t get over how precious the moments these two share truly are. It’s beautiful. ♥
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Wooooowwww, so Jiwon was planning on quitting her job as a police officer??? But here we have Sunbae trying to encourage her to seriously think about this decision, because he's right. Giving up a job like that could have a huge affect on her entire life. And to get to work and work like crazy because they're mad busy lol. Ah, Sunbae.
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And I just can't get over Hyunsoo and Jiwon's love. I really can't. I love how holds her hand and strokes it gently with his thumb. She asks "What were you thinking about in front of the store earlier?" And BAM! I was right! He was remembering the very first time he ever held Eunha. I'm sure he probably wanted to cry the first time he held her because his heart was likely overwhelmed with all sorts of feelings, but he didn't know how and he couldn't figure them out. And then he says when he met Jiwon, every single moment of his life was filled with first times and I just... I can't... Jiwon has been the most beautiful, welcoming, warming and positive force in his life. If it weren't for her, he may not have ever began his healing process from  years upon years of trauma. I love the focus on their hands. I really do. Almost like he didn't want to let her go back to work, and even asking her if she'll be alright. Hyunsoo, you are such a wonderful husband to her. Goodness.
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I do love how when Jiwon entered her workroom and the police chief snapped at her, Sunbae was quick to step up with the continued story of Eunha was sick and he sent her home, so she's not been made aware of the situation, which is half-true. Jiwon had NO idea that Yeom Sangchul busted loose and is on the run. Now, here's something interesting...
"How's your kid? Who's sick? Your first or second?"
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WAIT... now why are they making it a point to show that Jiwon only has one child right now??? Is there... is that foreshadowing?? Could there maybe be a chance that Eunha might get a brother or sister in the future??? Or is that just my wishful thinking and overthinking it because the police chief just doesn't know enough about her as a person and that's what they're showing us? Hmmm... Well, here's hoping we get that happy ending with Jiwon pregnant and them having a new baby! *fingers crossed* lol Sorry. Just some Hyunsoo/Jiwon fanwishes. Anyway... I got a good chuckle out of the chief trying to cover his ass by passing out energy drink packets and of course Sunbae being his hilariously greedy self with wanting two and talking about the chief being cheap HAH! I laughed. And then Sunbae gets a call from Hyunsoo... WHAT!? What is going on now??? Wanting to talk where Jiwon can't hear?
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So, Hyunsoo is still sitting at the front gate in his car and he's thinking back to something Yeom Sangchul said. "Think hard about it. Whom did you tell this secret to? Who do you think ratted you out to me?" Ooooo, I think Hyunsoo's onto something, though. I get why he doesn't want Jiwon to know, but hasn't he learned his lesson yet? Honey, things go south when you keep secrets from your wife. She's also a police officer. You do realize that, right? And she's a badass one at that. I get you're protecting her from knowing that someone is out to get you, but you gotta tread carefully love... you don't want to break trust between the two of you. You need her trust now more than anything.
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Oh look, there's human trafficking trash man eating and the equal trash son laying in bed watching the news on his tablet. And her comes trash mom. Is he really still going to continue pulling off that whole fake slow talk "I just got out of a coma. Feel pity for me" crap? Please. We know he can speak just fine considering he did it earlier with the housemaid. Can he spare me the innocence? And why does he still seem to have himself convinced that Hyunsoo is going to kill him?? Hell, if anything, Hyunsoo will just want to help catch his ass and have him thrown in prison for the disgusting stuff Do Minseok did with him.
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So, Moojin is going to play the noble idiot again once more for Haesoo by looking for Hyunsoo? Well, you don't gotta look too far, bro. He's a lot closer than you think. Also, the more I think about it, the more I'm with Moojin. Not because my heart is shriveling over him telling Noona to stop saying she'll turn herself in, but I agree. Sunbae let Hyunsoo go saying he has no interest in him anymore. If Noona goes to the police station now and outright admits to killing the village head all those years ago, there's also a chance that they'll all find out that Jiwon's husband is Do Hyunsoo. Sunbae might be willing to overlook that fact, but that doesn't mean the others will.
Side note, but Moojin, why do you think you deserve a SHRED of care from Haesoo after the shit you've pulled? Sorry but that got on my nerves. Stop comparing yourself to Hyunsoo and your importance to Noona. Hyunsoo is her little BROTHER. He's family. There's a HUGE difference. Jeez, Moojin. Stop being so pushy and clingy. She doesn't WANT to go home. She WANTS to go to the police station. You have no right to tell the driver where to send her. Ugh he's so frustrating sometimes. I have such mixed feelings about him.
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Alright, so Hyunsoo and Sunbae are at a cafe now talking about the fact that Hyunsoo has a pretty good idea of who's put a hit out on him. That he'll give Yeom Sangchul a shit ton of money to kill him. And it flashes back to trash dad trying to talk Hyunsoo into leaving if he gives him 10 times the amount. WHY can't these people just leave him alone?? For fuck sake. Hyunsoo states it's just an assumption, but we know he's not wrong and he won't tell Sunbae who thinks the person is til he can confirm it for himself with Sunbae's help. This treading into some very dangerous waters.
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Moojin, good grief why do you keep bothering her? We're all well aware you like Haesoo, but she isn't interested in a relationship with you or anyone else. She's at the police station, and it's kind of sad because she believes that Moojin is all Hyunsoo has left. She shows up and just about outs herself when Jiwon smoothly covers it up by claiming she's here to identify the human trafficking victims since it's connected to her father's serial killings.
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Okay, so... I LOVE this scene. I LOVE their discussion on the rooftop. It's excellent because it's just what Haesoo needs to hear, no matter how harsh Jiwon came across, it was necessary. Haesoo wastes no time in admitting that she knows Jiwon knows everything, and that Hyunsoo had a very justifiable reason for living as Baek Heeseong. I do love how protective she is over her brother, and yet again, she admits to Jiwon that she killed the village foreman and not Hyunsoo. Haesoo, no... she does not think her husband is a dangerous person because they just spent the night before talking about literally everything. Hyunsoo told her everything he could possibly think of. Jiwon loves him unconditionally. She does not think her husband dangerous for a moment.
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"Haesoo, Hyunsoo is no longer a little boy that you need to look after. He's the father of my child. He's my family. He's my person. Now, he has a wife who will stand by his side... no matter what happens. He told me his sister is a very kind person. Whenever something bad happened when he was young, he was always the first to be suspected. He told me you always went around telling people he's innocent. He didn't care what other people thought, but you were always the one who cried and felt upset about it. Because you're so kind, he thought you wouldn't be able to endure other people's criticisms. That's why he took the blame. He didn't care what other people thought about him. If you turn yourself in, he'll no longer be a wanted criminal. But he'll feel guilty and indebted to you for the rest of his life. I don't want that. So... please respect your brother's decision. And... you should be the one to feel guilty instead."
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"I'm horrible, aren't I?" No, Jiwon. You are not. I won't lie, your words were harsh, but they had to be said. This was totally necessary. They absolutely had to be, because Haesoo needed to understand and know the importance in all of this. She needed to know that her brother is not alone. That he has a loving wife and family to stay by his side. Jiwon tells her that what they talked about today is that if Haesoo recognized any of the victims in regards to her father's crimes and that is supposed to say no. Noona cries and thanks Jiwon for trusting Hyunsoo. Because it's what he needs. A wife to love him, trust him and help him. Haesoo tells Jiwon that while she's still alive, she'll do everything she can to repay her... while she's still alive?? Is anyone else getting possible death flags from Noona...? I'm worried. Really worried about her. Like it has me nervous. If something happens to her after everything Hyunsoo did for her... I just don't even want to think about it.
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throwawayov · 5 years ago
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The Case of You, Who Saved Me on Mondays
ReiRan Omegaverse AU. Not proof-read yet. Apologize for horrible grammar this is written at 2 AM lol not really intended for being published as well buttt yeahhh
TRIGGER WARNING : substance abuse
 --Sunday, Ranmaru Kurosaki POV--
"Ranran, are you perhaps...an omega?"
Fuck.
Ranmaru had played this scenario over and over in his head for countless times. What to say when someone suspects something. What to answer when someone asks. What to say when someone confronted him. What to do when some batshit insane alpha attack him. What to do when someone smells something…
But he didn’t quite prepare when Reiji was the one who asked. Reiji, of all people. The only person Ranmaru ever respect in the industry so far… his most endearing and strong Reiji.
He then counted the pills in his head. The shot. The supporting ointment. All the nasty chemicals he took in the morning as his usual buzz. All seemed fine. All should be fine. But the fact that they just finished a very tiring live concert concerned him. Is it my sweat?
No, no. This is Reiji, afterall. Ranmaru knew full well how the guy can say the most random thing just to annoy him without batting an eye.
I’m fine. I’m fine.
He put down his bottled water carefully on the table. He glanced at his own hand, making sure he’s not trembling even the slightest.
“What nonsense are you talking about? Stupid.”
He walked to the sofa and threw himself without even looking at Reiji. “I’m taking a nap,” he covered his eyes with his arm. His mind is still racing. Thank God Camus and Ai went out of the room already, else they would’ve picked up his crazy loud heartbeat when they sat on the sofa.
A couple of seconds passed. The lack of response from the oldest Quartet Night member disturbed his act.
God fucking dammit say something, Reiji. Or should I say something? No. No. But—
“Ahahaa, sorry sorry! I just want to see your reaction! Don’t be maad~”
Ranmaru can hear Reiji sat down on the sofa across him. Ranmaru didn’t move. His heartbeat and breath were suddenly a lot steadier. He wanted to take a nap for real now.
“Maybe you’re stronger than I thought?” Reiji said suddenly.
Ranmaru moved his arm from his eyes as he tilted his face. “What?”
Reiji smiled, “Nothing!”
Ranmaru knew it was Reiji’s stage smile. And he’s got a bad feeling over this.
---
--Sunday, Reiji Kotobuki POV--
Reiji Kotobuki never really liked being an Alpha. 
The pressure, the expectations, the way society treated him as the leader of the pack…it’s suffocating. The way some people smell so good that he needed to hold back his primal urge was maddening. He hates holding back. Yet he hates letting himself out bare. It’s disgusting.
His only channel to let out all his suppressed emotions were singing. The lights, the sound, the cheer, the dance, the team…they are his ultimate pills. On the stage, he never had to notice any tempting smells he always tried so hard to ignore. It feels so liberating.
And then here he was. On the locker room with just his teammate, the beta-rocker Ranmaru Kurosaki.
Reiji really liked the guy. What started as an admiration of the younger’s work ethics now already became something more… precious. He’s still not sure what to label this feeling as. It always fascinated Reiji; the way Ranmaru sings wholeheartedly on the stage, moves his body around with rough yet gentle precision, his rare but tender smiles, his smell…
Wait, did I just think smell? Gosh. There’s that smell again.
Sometimes Reiji can smell something when he’s alone with Ranmaru. It was always faint. At first, Reiji just thought it’s the former’s perfume. But this time it is far from faint and more than just perfume.
Ranmaru just exudes a really really alluring scent around him.
"Ranran, are you perhaps...an omega?"
Ah shit. Why did I say that out loud?
“What nonsense are you talking about? Stupid.”
He watched as Ranmaru threw himself on to the sofa. “I’m taking a nap,”
Reiji couldn’t believe himself, but the smell is getting stronger. It’s definitely coming from Ranmaru. It matched perfectly with his reaction; it’s the smell of omegas when they are very nervous. Unfortunately, Reiji knew this smell too well.
He is an omega, alright. How—Wha-Why is he hiding this? D-Does anyone else know? Isn’t it dangero—
His mind halted. To hide the fact that you’re an omega is an enormous, if not impossible, task. Alphas can sense omegas presence in a heartbeat. Reiji is an Alpha. Hyuuga is an Alpha. God, they even worked closely with four freaking alphas in STARISH on daily basis. There’s no way none of them never picked this up these past 5 years.
But then again, Reiji never really sensed anything strong either, until now.
“Ahahaa, sorry sorry! I just want to see your reaction! Don’t be maad~”
He slowly walked to the sofa across Ranmaru and sat down. He studied the younger’s face intently, as Ranmaru covered it with his arm anyway so he wouldn’t noticed. The smell didn’t go away…
He didn’t want to think about it. If Ranmaru is a beta, then that means Reiji can now even smell a beta’s pheromones, which is very unheard of, but… it’s plausible. And it made Reiji want to throw up. Really? Even beta? I’ve evolved into something more disgusting than I already am.
But if Ranmaru is indeed an omega… Reiji didn’t want to imagine what crazy stuffs Ranmaru had done to cover this up really well for so long. That must’ve been extremely difficult and painful.
“Maybe you’re stronger than I thought?”
Oh, fuck me and my blabber mouth. Why Reiji, whyyyy…
“What?” Ranmaru tilted his head and looked straight at Reiji’s face.
Reiji tried his best to act natural. “Nothing!”
---
--Monday dawn, Ranmaru Kurosaki POV--
Ranmaru Kurosaki really hates being an omega.
The day they announced his secondary gender result was the worst day of Ranmaru’s life. His parents were both alphas so the result was crazy upsetting for his whole family. No one wanted to admit this. An omega? In Kurosaki family? It must be a fluke. They proceeded to test him 3 more times.
The result was always the same; a full-fledged omega. Cue the cymbals, a joke of the century for the family.
He still remembered how his parents told him during middle school that they found a way to help him cover this up. To convert him into a beta. To patch the embarrassing stuff. To basically neuter him of his being. It was risky and cost a fortune…but his father was willing to pay anything for it.
In the end, the procedure was botched. Literally nothing came out of it. If anything, it created a deep emotional scar for Ranmaru rather than physical one.
Then his parents business crumbled with all the financial and emotional burden it created and the story went on just like a fucked up drama that is Ranmaru’s life.
Ranmaru Kurosaki really despises being an omega.
Right after arriving in his apartment, Ranmaru ransacked through his medicine cabinet. One, two, four, eight… he gulped them all. All these disgusting pills that keep me sane.
He coughed and almost threw up. He held himself together over the sink.
They are really just normal pills omega used to suppress their hormones. Normally omegas only took two kinds of medicine; hormone suppressants and birth control pills if they are sexually active.
Ranmaru is a virgin and he took 4 kinds of birth control just for the heck of it.
Sigh…now comes the hard part.
He steadied his breath. He glanced at three blue vials in front of him. This stuff is the most expensive thing on his chemical cocktails. The experimental drug his fellow bandmates introduced him. The holy grail for omegas like him, the ultimate suppressant.
Even someone who is physically strong like Ranmaru dreaded the aftereffect of this drug. It made him want to claw out his insides just to stop the scorching sensations it caused.
Just stop thinking and get this over with. He injected himself with the blue liquid quickly on his upper arm. He squirms. It’s painful. It’s painful. I’m dying. No—
He threw up on to the sink. Today is going to be great.
---
--Monday evening, Reiji Kotobuki POV--
“So, Kotobuki-kun, what is it like, being the only alpha of the group? You’re doing such a great job bringing the pack together nee~”
Reiji’s smile grew wider.
I want to punch this interviewer’s face right fucking now. Pack? Are we dogs now, bitch?
“Ah weeeeell, it’s just really fun because we are all friends, you know! It doesn’t matter whether you’re alpha or beta or omega, riiiight guys?” Reiji winked to all his teammates besides him.
Camus let out a scoff. “Hmpf. We never see him as an alpha anyways,”
“I believe we are a group of 4 betas here,” Ai added with a nod.
“Come on, guuyysss, why are you so meeeaaan!” Reiji pretended to cry. As usual.
The interviewer just laughed and move along with other questions. Reiji silently relieved that this antic never failed to please the outsiders. He glanced over to Ranmaru and caught the silver-haired staring at his face intently. That caught Reiji off guard.
“What is it, Ranran?” Reiji asked when both of them were in the changing room. Camus and Ai went out already for another interview regarding their duet project.
“What is what?” Ranmaru asked from the sofa in front of Reiji. He looked really tired his literal color almost gone from his face.
“The whole interview you’re just straight up staring at me and not saying much! Is there something wrong with my face? Or you just want to admit now that I look cool?? Is that it? Aaaww I’m so flattered, Ranran!”
Ranmaru put his palm over his face. “Ugh, just drop the act already,”
Reiji smirked. He knew already that Ranmaru is sharp. “Yeah yeah, but you know me, we need to be professionals,”
“You need to tell them to stop asking that kind of questions,” Ranmaru sighed. “You hate being an alpha, don’t you,”
Oh wow, it stings. “Hmm? Nooo? I never hated it?”
“I told you to drop the act. Just like me, you’re disgusted with yourself,”
Reiji drew his brows together. What feels like an eternity was only 5 seconds of silence. “What do you mean, just like you?”
Suddenly the room is filled with a really strong smell it almost suffocated Reiji. He put his hands over his nose and mouth, “What the—“ he saw Ranmaru on the sofa, clenching his chest. He didn’t know what happen but he looked so…red. And in pain. And breathless.
“Ranran, oh my God, are you okay??” Reiji stood up and tried to reach him. But the smell now literally suffocated him. It’s like a really strong chemical trying to burn and poison his head, but it felt so good.
What the hell—
“Get out, Reiji,” Ranmaru whispers under his labored breath. He’s drenched in sweat.
Reiji froze. His mind went blank but his body is burning for some reason.
“GET OUT, NOW!” Ranmaru now screamed. In pain.
Reiji took a step back. He clawed on his own head trying to control himself. What the hell what the hell what the hell—
“NO! Ranmaru where’s your medicine?? Where is it??” Reiji ran to the vanity desk and scrambled through all the bags on it. He trembled so bad he knocked everything off the desk. “RAN YOU BETTER TELL ME YOU BROUGHT YOUR MEDICINES,” He looked back quickly and noticed Ranmaru was crawling on the ground, both his arm clenching tight on his chest. He’s drooling a lot and struggled to breathe.
“My jacket,” Ranmaru whimpered. “—pocket,”
Reiji practically flied through the other side of the room to the hanger and scrambled through all the jackets in lightning speed. “This blue vial?? Is this it??” Reiji pull out something that looked like a strange blue epi-pen.
Ranmaru didn’t respond. His breaths become shallower and shallower. “Ranmaru!!” Reiji grabbed Ranmaru’s shoulder and shaking him hard. Though in this close distance Reiji actually almost fainted himself trying to keep his sanity intact.
He couldn’t think anymore. He administered the injection into Ranmaru’s outer thigh with haste. “UGH—” Reiji closed his eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore. This smell. This heat. He bit on his own lips hard.
“FUCK!” Ranmaru suddenly jolted open his eyes and screamed. He sat up and moved Reiji out of his way. He leaned on the wall and tried to catch his breath.
Reiji tried so hard to calm himself down. His labored breath and bleeding lips aside, his mind slowly creeped back to sanity. A minute passed just for them to slowly steadied their breath. “Ranmaru, listen to me, you fucker,” Reiji scratched his own head hard. “You are an omega, are you not?”
Ranmaru didn’t answer.
“That,” Reiji gulped. “That is a freaking heat if I knew one. That’s one violent heat. I never see an omega went into heat that sudden and look like they’re dying at the same time. And then, and then—What—What the fuck, Ran?”
“Shut up,” Ranmaru muttered.
“NO, I WILL NOT SHUT UP!!” Reiji screamed. “The-Then—What fucked up drugs did you just take? It went away just like that, Ran. What the hell? That’s not normal!”
“SHUT UP, I AM NOT NORMAL, OKAY?” Ranmaru screamed on the top of his lungs. “What do you want me to say? Oh yes I’m sorry I’m an omega guys, please be careful around me I am craving to be filled all the time yada yada yada?”
Reiji was still trying to catch his breath. His mind is a lot calmer now. “No—no, I’m sorry that’s not what I’m trying to say, okay?” He stood up and walked slowly to Ranmaru. “I’m—I’m just worried about you,” he extended his hand to help Ranmaru stand up.
Ranmaru looked up. “I don’t need your pity,” he said while slapping Reiji’s hand away. He stood up by himself slowly.
“I need to take a shower” Ranmaru said before opening the door. “Reiji, can I trust you not to tell anyone about this?”
Reiji couldn’t say anything. “Please?” Ranmaru added.
“…Okay,” that’s all Reiji could muster up.
This is just too much for me to handle.
---
Tuesday Dawn, Ranmaru Kurosaki POV
Ranmaru stood in front of his sink for a whole minute without even moving a single muscle. He looked horrible. He didn’t get a blink of sleep last night and the black lines around his puffy eyes looked worse than his ghostly Halloween makeup last year.
Out of all people, why Reiji?
He couldn’t stop asking this question in his head. His precious Reiji. The one who taught him how to be a professional on the stage. The one who smiled through all the sleepless nights just to not disappoint his fans. The one who showed him how to keep on going through anguish and distress. The one with the gentlest touch, literally and figuratively, out of all the people in the universe…
The only person who made Ranmaru want to appear strong every day.
The embarrassment of showing Reiji his weakest and most disgusting side had grown into gnawing pain in Ranmaru’s whole being. He always wanted to catch up to Reiji… It’s useless now isn’t it?
His eyes locked into his pills on his hand without care.
One, two, three…four…eight…
He fought back a sharp pain inside.
…twelve, thirteen…
And Ranmaru gulped them all.
---
Tuesday Dawn, Reiji Kotobuki POV
Reiji was driving way above the speed limit for the most of his sudden early morning trip. He kept one of his hand on his phone’s handsfree, trying to call Ranmaru for the bazillionth time.
Still, no answer. Goddamit Ran please answer my call I know you’re always up early…
Since last night Reiji couldn’t sleep at all. His mind wandered to the big revelation that is Ranmaru being an omega after all this time. He couldn’t stop thinking about the weird drugs. He was extremely worried.
When his morning alarm suddenly blazed off, Reiji decided to check on Ranmaru by calling him. He didn’t answer. At the beginning Reiji just thought he’s still asleep…
But then he remembered how Ranmaru is. His Ranmaru who always put his pride on his performance above all. His confidence and rock-solid belief in his performance he always gives on the stage… his most beloved and strong Ranmaru. What happened last night must’ve been really took a toll on him, right?
He called again and again, but no answer still. He became extremely worried.
And now here he was putting the pedal to the metal trying to reach Ranmaru’s place.
Please please please please I hope I’m just being a paranoid…
He reached Ranmaru’s place in record time and bolted to the door. He knocked slowly. “Ranran? It’s me, Reiji. Let’s go to work together?” Reiji called.
He knocked again, louder. “Ranran?? Are you okay??”
Silence. He tried to call Ranmaru’s phone again and listened carefully at the door. Ranmaru’s phone ringtone can be heard from outside.
He’s inside. Damn it—
“Ranmaru, please open the door before I open it by force!” He banged on the door again.
The lack of sound except the ringing phone put Reiji on edge. He took a couple steps backward and readied himself. “I’m coming in!”
He put all of his strength to his shoulders and threw himself on to the door.
It didn’t budge. Fuuuuuck it huuuurts, it looks easier in the movies…
He tried again. Twice, thrice…
The door finally gave in on Reiji’s sixth try. “Ranmaru!!” He screamed when he got inside.
He looked around the spacious flat and found no one there. He checked the doors hastily before finally opening the bathroom door.
What Reiji found inside was a scene from his true nightmare.
--- TBC soon
1 note · View note
vipers-hat · 8 years ago
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Finally, here’s my Tasertricks Secret Santa gift to @concavepatterns. 
Here are the bits and pieces of the future bigger fic I promised. I got delayed between being sick, the holidays and such. I was going to add more to this, but I owe you something by now. It’s not at all consistent, it jumps around in time, but I have about 90% of the tropes you asked for either in here now, or will be in the future, so there’s that! Anyway, before I self- deprecate any more, here it is :D Pushing: (Preview) When Loki lands on Earth after his fall off the Bifrost, he’s intercepted by S.H.I.E.L.D. But they have bigger fish to fry, so they plan to put Loki in the middle of nowhere under strict surveillance. “Middle of Nowhere” ends up being Darcy’s old family home, and she’s dragged along for the sole purpose of knowing more about Loki than the available agents and her family. When the most convincing cover story they have is that Loki’s Darcy’s latest boyfriends, things are to a rocky start, but the group finds enough common ground to make it work- especially when it turns out Loki isn’t the only lie-smith around. 
TLDR: I basically made an AU of my fic Tangled with aspects from Cold December Night. Whoops. 
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To say the last couple of years of Darcy Lewis’ life would be a massive understatement.
First, she got the internship that she had applied to for shits and giggles because she had needed something on her resume and Poli-Sci just wasn’t cutting it. Then, some ripped crazy guy had essentially walked straight into their camper (that was their story and damn it, she would stick with it ‘til her dying day).  Then had the nerve to turn out to be a literal god. And then fall in love with Jane nauseatingly quickly. And then some asshole who called himself the director of S.H.I.E.L.D- whatever that was, went and stole her iPod for ‘research purposes’ or whatever. And then she, Jane and Erik had almost died, because of some weird robot-suit-of-armor thing that Thor’s batshit little brother had told to kill them . And then Thor had to go home, but was nearly stuck on Earth forever, which turned into ten minutes, albeit a very nice ten minutes because of Thor’s Robin Hood-y friend.
And then things were pretty good for a month or so until said Thor’s little brother fell out of the sky… and also just happened to wander into the path of their camper as well (“no, Doctor Stein, this doesn’t happen regularly”, “no, he looked half dead before we first saw him”, “no, it’s not suspicious, why are you telling the nurse to call the police?!”). And then she had found out that S.H.I.E.L.D was in fact a legitimate agency that was just like a supernatural F.B.I. But of course, she found out because her childhood neighbor and former crush had turned out to be an agent. And she found out that fact because it had been Bailey Lennox, Varsity Eagles Football Star that had body tackled “Loki” to the floor a couple of days after they had called Coulson in a panic that Loki was on Earth.
Now, a few months later, Loki had been in S.H.I.E.L.D custody nonstop. At first it was to observe and assess the threat level he gave off. But when he was hauntingly quiet, and his most dangerous aspect was the lies and insults he hurled everywhere, he was manageable. And when he had finally seemed to get bored with being rude, he had become strangely… accommodating.
No one trusted him, of course, but it was still a decent change in all the negativity. Even his jabs became companionable, where some idiot scientist would walk by with papers on whatever they were researching involving space, and then Loki would correct them sharply- then go so far as walking them through the corrected error.
Then came the day that they had needed to  move Loki because ‘new assets were coming in.’ They needed him safe and secure. Apparently someone in the middle of the ranks in S.H.I.E.L.D had gone through everyone who knew about Thor’s family histories, and her father’s place in the middle of nowhere, Montana was apparently ruled a decent safehouse.
The (nonsensical) plan to bring him there and keep him under wraps until a better situation arose was put into play, and Coulson had been so busy with whatever other case it was, he had okayed it with no issue. He had Darcy and Loki prepared to be shipped all the way out to her old family home, with the assurance that agents would be around them in some capacity at all times.  
To be fair, he had promised that they would give her hands on training, and then Coulson had to go off grid for some reason, and his temporary replacement in the immediate area was a hardass who just didn’t give a damn, and away they went.
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Loki could sense the nervousness coming off of the young woman in spades. He tried hard to not be insulted. He had assumed she knew he was too intelligent to attack her family, alone, when this was still arguably a high priority SHIELD mission, and if he tried something, S.H.I.E.L.D would storm the place and at least attempt to put him down like the dog they all thought he was. The fact that she was nervous to the point of jittery, afraid for her family, no doubt, made him realize he was wrong. And the sheer amount of concern she was clearly giving off disgusted him. How could she be so blindly protective of her family when all family did was disappoint? Still, if they wanted this to go smoothly, she would probably need to be reassured. “Do you truly think I would bother killing you or any of your worthless Midgardians?” He hissed. “Believe me. You’re nothing to me, as is your family.”
Darcy turned to him, eyebrows raised in challenge. The nervousness was still there, but now the annoyance had taken over. “Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine? But that works for me, too, so whatever.” She turned her attention back to the door when it clicked unlocked and swung open.
John Lewis opened the door.
Loki took the moments of silence and comprehension to study him. Middle-aged for a mortal, thin but out of shape, not a threat if he did decide to try anything. But the man’s answering smile to seeing his daughter’s face is what nearly sets the god off.
It’s full of happiness and pride. He knows it as the look Odin gave Thor, but never him.  It’s that sentiment that has him deciding that if things do get bad, or convenient for an escape, he would kill the other man on principle of the thing. It’s that thought process that has his mind in another world when Darcy squeals and throws herself into the arms of the man when he opens them for her.
“Dad!”
“Darce!” he greeted, and immediately threw his arms around the younger woman. However, his eyes flicked to Loki and didn’t leave his for a while. “And… friend.”  He sounds uncertain.
Of course, that made Darcy and Loki come to the sweeping realization that Coulson had royally messed up, because in his rush to handle whatever other situations had arisen, he had given them a vague plan and sent them on their way without giving details on how to go about it.
Loki took it as a mark against S.H.I.E.L.D’s collective intelligence, but also noted that he was off the hook anyway. Considering that he had no idea what he could be called since he knew next to nothing about Midgardian customs with relationships and ‘holidays’, he had nothing to offer.
Darcy gaped like a fish out of water for a moment. She searched her options, and then because it was just one of those years, went with the most batshit one that she could think of that would probably get her murdered in her sleep. She reached over, got hold of Loki’s elbow and pulled him closer. She had noted he was eerily silent, so she was only slightly surprised when he actually stumbled to accommodate the movement she had caused. “Dad, this is, uh… Luke, my boyfriend.”
John stared at them for a couple of seconds that seemed to pass like ages. “Boyfriend? And… why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” he forces out quickly. Still, he offers his hand to Loki nonetheless.
It was Loki’s turn to stare. He focused on the hand and searched his knowledge of Midgardian customs quickly. Then he remembered that it was a handshake that he had seen at his visit to the S.H.I.E.L.D facility that had imprisoned Thor. He shook it and nodded. “Good to meet you,” he recalled what one of the agents had said.
“Likewise,” John replied, and set Loki with a look that was mixed curiosity and distrust, and Loki took that as a mark in the “maybe I shouldn’t kill him first” column. Everyone had been so happy and trusting so far, it was nice to see the opposite.
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Loki looked around the living room at the six other people, all around Darcy’s age. They were all smiling and laughing. They were picturesque. This was the idealistic family, and he was nauseated all over again.
John circled around to the front, and Loki surprised himself by being grateful for the physical barrier. He smiled and hoped it looked expectant.
“Come on, you guys are downstairs,” John supplied. He took Darcy’s bag from her and motioned for them to follow.
As Loki did so, he continued to survey the house. If memory served, Midgardians were greedy, and most of their world focused on wealth and the constant ways to get more of it. He knew how some of it worked, and he was curious how a seemingly humble man could get a house this large, but have very little, while apparently looking very comfortable. He wondered what job the man had to live such a life.
They made it downstairs, and when they reached a small room, John set the bag down just beyond the door. Darcy breezed past them and flopped down on the bed with a familiarity that made Loki realize it was probably her quarters from when she had first lived there.
In the next moment, he realized there was one, considering other Midgardian customs, glaring problem. There was one small bed, no ‘couch’ as they called it. He could take the floor, but still it was… odd. He spared a glance John’s way.
Darcy seemed to catch on a mere moment after he did. “Uh, where-“
“Here,” John shrugged. When he got twin frowns in response, he smiled. “Come on, guys. You’re in your twenties and…” he looked at Loki. “Early thirties? Darce, I may want you to be my little girl forever but I’m not that much in denial. Remember when Joe called me ‘nauseatingly progressive’? You’re together, you’re of age, use the same room. I mean,  you didn’t tell me you had a plus one.  Besides, we need the space. All the rooms are taken anyway.”
Darcy stared at him, then nodded slowly. “Huh…”            
John nodded again, oblivious to the sudden discomfort, or merely just accounted it to ‘a dad had just okayed a young couple staying in a room with one bed.’ “I’ll let you guys get settled. Come visit with everyone when you’re all done.” He left without another word.
There was dead silence in the room for a while. After a while, Darcy shoved all the pillows on her bed onto the floor. “There you go. That’s where you’re going to sleep.”
Loki merely grunted in confirmation. “So… who are these people we’re meeting.”
“My siblings,” Darcy countered, like it should’ve been the most obvious thing in the world. She held out her hand, then went on to introduce them, dropping a finger with each name. “There’s the tall one, brown hair, Billy. Another cop, so if you try anything he’ll at least try to beat your ass. Callie’s the redhead, the  short brown haired guy one is Myles, Sabrina is the blonde girl, Evan is the black haired one.”
Loki squinted. “What kind of names are those?”
Darcy shrugged. “I don’t know. Dad didn’t pick them,” she said by way of explanation. She gave the room a quick once around, pointed at the luggage, nodded, then left the room. She turned in the hallway and looked at him expectantly.
Loki, however, was still focused on that particular response. He didn’t know how to take it, or what she had meant. It was that moment that he realized a mother had been noticeably absent from the group of people upstairs, and figured that had something to do with it. He was surprised when a twinge of sympathy went through him. He wouldn’t  know how he would’ve handled life without Frigga, and here was the idiot mortal girl, without the equivalent. Then again, John seemed to have been the equivalent there.  This whole entire situation was… odd. And foreign. And he didn’t like it one bit. Darcy raised her eyebrows and made a sweeping motion towards the staircase. Loki sighed and followed.  It was going to be a very confusing day.
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Darcy settled deeper into the couch. Most of her siblings were gone. While she could relax on the ‘bullshitting her way through a S.H.I.E.L.D mission she was not at all prepared for’, now it was just keeping her father safe if Loki went rogue. And she was confident that there was no way in Hell she could handle that. She glanced up when she saw Loki emerge for the hallway, rubbing his face.
They heard the doorbell ring on the first floor.
There were footsteps, the door opened, and then they heard John go, “Bailey! Kid, how the Hell are you?! What’re you doing here?” fondly.
Darcy was almost pleasantly surprised to hear about her old neighbor-crush visiting until she remembered just what she had found out about him, and that there was no way that he had just stopped by. She bolted for the stairs, and wasn’t quite sure what to think when she heard Loki follow her after a moment.  The conversation between Bailey and her father was still going on, but she couldn’t catch it over the sound of their own footsteps coming up the stairs. When they reached the landing and headed for the foyer, they stopped short just within it.
Bailey had glanced their way, then had narrowed his eyes suspiciously at just how close the pair of them were standing.
John, on the other hand, didn’t look suspicious, just expectant. “Uh, Darce, well, surprise, little Bailey came to visit…” he began, and then his face fell. “He wants to know how his girlfriend’s doing after losing her job.” He raised his eyebrows, directed at her more than anything. He looked at Loki again, then back at Bailey.
Darcy gawked again, then shook her head. She started to formulate a story, and the one she had originally gone for was going to be a stretch, even for her dad to accept. Plan B would possibly make John think less of Bailey, and since Bailey had grown up next door and seen John as another father figure she didn’t want to mess with the relationship, but she had no other out. “Ex boyfriend,” she clarified suddenly. She gave Bailey as convincing of a disapproving look as she could and wrapped her arm closest to Loki’s around the latter.
John looked between the people. “You two dated?” he asked. After a moment, he shook his head. “Well, guess you went back to the teenage phase with not telling me anything lately,” he replied. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged it off and turned around. He walked towards the kitchen and motioned for them to follow.
Apparently the pause to get Loki on board was enough to get John suspicious again. The man had narrowed his eyes at them for a moment, then raised his eyebrows again, turned around and murmured something about “one out of eight” and “drink” and then started towards the kitchen. He raised his hands and motioned at them to come back into the house.
Bailey waited for him to be out of immediate earshot and turned to Darcy. “Good save,”
“You told him you were my boyfriend?!” Darcy countered.
Bailey motioned widely at Loki. “How the Hell was I supposed to know that was your cover story?! Coulson didn’t tell me anything, just to get here!” he snapped.
“Yeah, and you’re still here because my dad’s a decent person who would never throw anyone out over stupid stuff, so you’re welcome!”
The pair of them crossed their arms over their chests and glowered for a bit, even if there was hardly any animosity behind it.
Loki in turn, wanted to roll his eyes into the next century.
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Darcy’s heart sunk as her sister’s engagement speech continued. Ryan stood next to her, beaming away, completely oblivious to her. 
 Really, now her life couldn’t have gotten any worse. As much as she loved her ‘internship’ she was under-appreciated, she was now housing a guy who had tried to kill her, and now her sister was apparently engaged to her actual ex-boyfriend, with those two, her fake-ex-boyfriend/former crush, and her fake boyfriend, all under the same roof.
It was amazing that two years ago, if someone had told her that would’ve been her life, she would’ve laughed in their faces and asked for whatever they had been drinking. That thought alone reminded her that drinking would most likely help the situation, so she downed the amaretto sour she had been nursing the last hour and made a face in response. Bad idea. She really couldn’t win that week, could she?
--
As far as Loki was concerned, this Sabrina woman was the perfect example of the stereotypes that made him hate Midgardians as a whole. She had taken Darcy’s former boyfriend essentially right out from under her nose, dated, was now engaged, and now here Sabrina was, making eyes at him. It was petty and cruel, and a while back, he might have even been impressed. But now, through some weird loyalty he had to Darcy, he was disgusted. Maybe it was just how pathetic Darcy seemed. Maybe it was because Darcy had used that weapon that electrocuted people on Thor, essentially using his brother against himself. Maybe it was because he was beginning to get accustomed to Midgard life. But he knew that he wanted to give Sabrina what for. He just didn’t know how.
Loki watched Darcy shrink further into herself as Sabrina kept talking. The woman reminded him of Thor so much. The way she held herself, the arrogance, the thinly veiled naivety. His eyes flicked to Darcy again as Sabrina kept going on about how this man, Darcy’s apparent actual ex-boyfriend was so perfect for her. She even had the nerve to look at Darcy every so often during the speech, and him a couple of times as well. By the end of the speech, he was white-knuckling the table. He wanted to laugh. There was all the pent up aggression he had been storing. He glanced around. Everyone looked just as uneasy as he had felt towards the beginning.
Even Bailey looked like he was ready to fight the woman. If it was one thing he had learned so far about Bailey, is that he was  the most level-headed of the bunch.
And he felt for that too. How many times had Frigga given him that look, like she was ensuring him that ‘yes, I see you too.’ She was like him in so many ways, and still so bloody pure. Still, he needed to give her an out. Sabrina finally stopped speaking, and after one particularly large swig of wine, he finally realized what his most obvious option was that wouldn’t ruin her standing in her family. He turned his attention to Bailey quickly. “Do me a favor and don’t shoot me for doing what I’m about to do.”
Bailey looked at him, suddenly suspicious. “What-“
“Saving her from pity,” Loki countered. He rose, ignoring Bailey when the man shifted uncomfortably and visibly shifted his weight to the balls of his feet so he could get up quickly if come need be. He marched over to Darcy with a purpose, and she merely gave him a strange look and leaned back before he caught her around the waist, yanked her forward and kissed her.
Darcy let out a muffled sound of alarm and went to shove him back, only for him to pull her closer. She locked up, and when he finally pulled back. She gawked at him, and when she saw him give Sabrina a pointed look and Sabrina gave him an unreadable one in return, she sort of understood. She heard someone cough and then something that sounded like choking, and she looked in the direction to find that the poor victim was Bailey. She had never seen a man visibly questioning his job description or path up until that moment, but he definitely was with the strange edge to his shell-shocked expression.
Loki leaned forward. “Take my hand…” he murmured, then offered it.
Darcy look it absentmindedly, and Loki gave her a smile that looked so… genuinely kind it unnerved her. He started to pull her away from the main table, and when she saw that most of the eyes that had been immediately on them after Sabrina’s speech had left them, she came back to herself. She promptly pulled back, enough for him to stop, and then reached up and smacked him across the face.  She, of course, immediately regretted it, but then realized that goddamn it, she deserved it. “The Hell was that?!”
“You looked like you were resigning yourself to be inferior to your sister.  She was cruel and she has wandering eyes that were focused on me. I have no patience for those sorts of people, so I did the most beneficial thing for both of us.”
“Yeah how about explaining it in non Ye Olde Medieval- you know what, forget it. Just back off,” she insisted. She immediately went into the house.
Loki went to follow her, but Bailey was suddenly there, between them, a warning look on his face.
He groaned, put his hands up and retreated. He settled for pretending to be suddenly interested in one of the food tables, and that was that.
--
Loki looked John’s way. He didn’t know why he had felt guilty about being caught merely looking at photos to learn more about her family. It seemed to be the most logical thing for a dutiful boyfriend to do. “Forgive me, I was just curious about your family.”
“Nothin’ to apologize for,” John countered. He walked beside him and looked at the photos. “The faces you don’t know: that’s Amy, Derek, Sophia and Julie. They’re a few years older. Couldn’t come down because of work and whanot.”
“I’m not used to seeing Mid- human families with so many kids.”
“Well, big blended family, courtesy of my bleeding heart cop history,” John explained. When Loki frowned, he shrugged. “When kids got put into the system after they had a shitty situation that we had to step in for, I adopted some of them. I just… wanted to make a difference in a different way. The police force hated me for it, but hey, it made me feel good.”
Loki’s thought process skidded to a halt. “They’re all adopted?”
John nodded. “What? You thought I had a wife or girlfriend to go through all of that?”
Loki opened his mouth, then shrugged and nodded in agreement.
John shook his head. “Never had the time to so much as date. I just…kinda went crazy with the family thing, figured I didn’t need a woman to do good with it. Brought the kids all in one by one.”
“I would’ve never thought….” Loki began. For once, he was speechless there. This man had taken  all of these people in out of the goodness of his heart. No ulterior motives, granted there were no politics, but he had taken them in and clearly loved every single one of them, if the other photos and trophies and other scattered items were anything to show for it. His heart clenched in jealousy and something else. So much more made sense now for them. He realized John was still speaking and put his focus back in the conversation.
“You do realize there’s no family resemblance?” John asked. His eyes offered the joking tone it was meant in.
“I uh…” Loki paused. “Speaking from experience, it’s… resemblance isn’t anything I ever considered when it came to familial bond,” he said carefully. His eyes dropped from John’s, and he tried to look anywhere but at the man.
John, again, immediately understood. “You’re a kid from the system too, huh?”
“You could say that, yes,” Loki replied, taking a chance on assuming what the ‘system’ was.
“How bad was your experience before, if you don’t mind me asking?” John asked.
“It was the after that was my problem,” Loki countered. He immediately felt like he had said so much and closed up.
John picked up on that as well and didn’t say anything. He merely sat there silently.
Silence passed, both uncomfortable and comfortable. Finally, Loki felt like he needed to say something. “Thank you.”
“For?”
Loki’s answering smile physically hurt him, but then again, everything was at that moment, considering he was mourning a variation of what he could’ve had if there had been anyone else other than Odin. “For very clearly giving a damn about all of them, regardless.”
John’s answering smile was uneasy. He was clearly picking up on the things that weren’t being said, but he was decent enough to not press it this time. “Sure.”
 They said nothing more, just looked at the photos in companionable silence until Bailey called them in for dinner. 
- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - -- - - -- - - -- - - - - - - - - -- - -
Aliens. Fucking aliens.
Apparently some race from another realm, another planet, whatever, had missed the memo that Loki had basically ex-communicated himself from Asgard, and was not even in fact Asgardian, and had decided to hunt him down to get a ransom for an Asgardian prince. They had sent three of what must’ve been their race’s version of bounty hunters to collect.
The hunters had somehow arrived silently, surrounded the house, and when John, Bailey, Darcy and Loki had all wandered outside, they had attacked.  It was almost comical how prepared Loki had Bailey had been in an instant. Darcy had figured that Loki had sprung into a defensive stance so quickly that he had probably somehow planned the whole thing, but one of the aliens had a giant Warhammer thing and had sent Loki flying back into the house. It had apparently taken him quite a bit of strength to pick himself up, so Darcy wasn’t so sure anymore, but by the time she had time to refocus, another alien had come back to shove her out of the way, considering she had been in its path to Loki.
Loki, meanwhile, had gotten to his feet and had intercepted the third one, who had drawn a dagger of sorts and was coming at him. Out of sheer habit, he had summoned a dagger of his own, and without thinking, shoved it into the bounty hunter’s neck just out of John’s eyeline. He spared a glance in John’s direction and caught the alien before it hit the ground, easing it there first. John hadn’t seem to notice. It took him a moment to realize it was because John’s attention was on one of the other aliens that seemed to be focused just on him.
Foreign protectiveness got the better of Loki and he snarled before he moved to meet the alien before the other two met.
John beat him by four surprisingly quick strides. Just as Loki had moved on instinct, John did the same and met their attacker halfway. In hindsight, it had been a pretty confident move for a guy who had just learned that aliens existed, much less that he had seen the Boy Next Door from a few years back shoot one in the face like it was an everyday occurrence.  Too confident. But then John went and blew the others’ minds more. When the alien had taken a swing at him, and John had blocked it surprisingly easily.  Stranger yet, John followed up with a couple of rapid punches that held almost too much of a consistent pattern.
The alien recovered, however, and seemed just as stunned as everyone else. There were two gunshots and everyone ducked. The two remaining aliens jerked and collapsed. John, temporarily ignoring the gunshots, scooted down to his attacker, and with a precise kick downward,  and a sickening crunch, sealed the alien’s fate by breaking its neck.
Darcy had to choke down her yelp of alarm, settling for covering her mouth and focusing on the gunshots. She turned in the direction they had come from to see Coulson, arms still outstretched, gun drawn.
Coulson advanced on them, but not before ensuring that the aliens were dead.
John, however, hadn’t seen Coulson. He was laying on the ground, perfectly content getting his breath back while staring up at the sky. “Darcy, Luke, Bailey, some explanation would be nice.”
“Uh, same to you, Dad!” Darcy practically shrieked. “You just killed that... thing!”
“Which is where I come in,” Coulson chimed in. “Mr. Lewis, I….” the man stopped in his tracks when he finally got a better look at Darcy’s father. “… John?!”
John looked at him, then had a matching look of surprised recognition. “Phil?!”
Darcy’s head shot up. “You two know each other?!” 
“We were partners in our early S.H.I.E.L.D days,” Phil replied. 
“YOU WERE S.H.I.E.L.D?!” Darcy continued. 
Even Bailey looked just as confused as her, even if he didn’t voice it. 
“You know about S.H.I.E.L.D?” John countered. 
Phil looked between them all. “Well, this just got awkward for all of us.”   
“Everybody told me not to!” John protested. “Can we put the focus back on the dead aliens on my lawn? Are these Evors? I haven’t seen Evors since the 80s, what... who brought them...?” he turned his attention to Coulson, then pointed at Loki and Bailey. “Is it him or him? And who are they?” 
“Him. Loki, Norse God of Lies,” Coulson replied without missing a beat. 
“Oh, fantastic. We’ve hosted the God of Lies for a few weeks now,” John sighed. 
“For what it’s worth, aside from the whole identity bit, I haven’t lied to you once,” Loki offered. 
“Not helping,” John replied. He set his attention on Bailey. “Those were some S.H.I.E.L.D moves, too...” 
“Yeah,” Bailey supplied lamely. 
“I took in S.H.I.E.L.D hopefuls and orphans and you’re telling me the kid next door never crossed my path in our respective careers?” John asked. 
“Not technically my fault?” Bailey countered again. 
“My siblings had S.H.I.E.L.D connections?!” Darcy blurted. 
Phil elbowed his way between the crowd. “Alright, let’s get priorties sorted out.Lennox, take Loki and Miss. Lewis inside. John, help me with the aliens. We’re gonna have a truck here in about five, they can go in there. This place is far off the beaten path enough that no one will see us, so there’s that, at least.” 
“How did you fail to notice that your partner- my dad- was part of this case?!” 
“Other cases, go inside, discussion is too be continued,” Phil replied.
“To be-” 
“To be continued,” Phil repeated. Before Darcy could protest further, he steered her back over to Bailey, who steered her back towards the house with Loki in tow. 
“That’s one Hell of a ‘to be continued,” John pointed out. 
“Oh, you have no idea.” 
Aaaaaaaaaaaannnndddd that’s all she wrote for now. Obviously I’m gonna fill in the blanks and continue, but in the near future when my schedule’s not so crazy. Hope you liked the sneak peek!! :D
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