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myaekingheart · 4 years ago

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You’ve Got Kudos

Written for Day 1 of the Kakashi Lounge Discord Server's September Event. Prompts: Fanfic Writer!Kakashi | Social Disaster | Modern AU | Roommates/Neighbors

[Read on AO3] Pairing: Kakashi x Rei (OC) Rating: Teen and Up @the-kakashi-lounge-blog

Kakashi has a dirty little secret and it's in the form of an AO3 account. No one is allowed to know that he writes Icha Icha fanfiction--especially not his library tech neighbor Rei. (Standalone companion piece to The Scarecrow and the Bell, Modern/College AU)

Kakashi kicked off his shoes at the front door and slumped into his favorite chair. Tutoring wasn’t necessarily his favorite thing in the world but it looked good on resumes and put a little extra cash in his pockets, so he supposed he could tolerate it for a little while longer. If only his students hadn’t been quite so insufferable, that is.

If anything, tutoring reminded Kakashi how much he hated underclassmen. His three protegees were all naïve freshman whose energy stores had yet to drain. Naruto was enthusiastic but slow on the uptake and it was hard to get him to properly focus. Sakura had potential but she was far too engrossed in her Instagram rivalry with fellow student Ino Yamanaka to make any real progress. And Sasuke was constantly brooding, there not by choice but rather because his professor threatened to flunk him if he didn’t seek outside help.

Perhaps it would’ve been smarter to book them each separate appointments but with the way everyone’s schedules worked out, it was easier to just create one big study group. It was more efficient that way, anyway. Kakashi much preferred to kill three birds with one stone than chip away at his sanity little by little. And so every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, Kakashi trudged to the library to pore over used textbooks and incomprehensible scribbles in an attempt to explain simple concepts to brains that could not understand. This was fine. He didn’t need a social life anyway.

Kakashi rubbed his tired eyes and checked the time. It was 5:30pm. He had no idea what he was going to do for dinner, nor did he really care. Sighing, he reached for his laptop and went straight to his email. At the very top of his inbox was a notification from Archive of Our Own: Comment on Icha Icha Bloodline. Kakashi’s heart jolted. In the solace of his apartment, this was his one saving grace: fanfiction.

He admittedly felt a little ridiculous about the whole thing. What college guy not only wrote fanfiction, but for romance novels at that? He knew exactly how his taste in literature appeared. So few people truly understood the nuance and artistry of the Icha Icha books, writing it off as just cheap porn. Those books, however, gave Kakashi exactly the reprieve he needed. Within their pages, he could disappear from the stress of everyday life to instead revel in the throes of a dramatic fictional romance. His love for this series knew no bounds. His heart ached to share it with someone but if college had taught Kakahsi anything, it was that people never really change and are more than willing to judge you the minute you express any personal interests. High School: The Sequel, if you will. And so Kakashi had come to learn that there were only ever two places where he was safe to unapologetically indulge in his favorite series: within the comfort of his own home and on the internet.

Fanfiction was never his original intention. Rather, it was the end result of a long string of unfortunate circumstances. The latest book had ended with the heroine caught between two very tempting suitors, a cliffhanger of epic proportions which left Kakashi itching for a resolution. A few months after publication, the author, Jiraiya, passed away, taking his secrets for the series’ finale with him.

Kakashi had tried so hard not to think about it but the lack of closure ate away at him. He needed a valuable outlet through which to ramble, a way to confide in someone as invested in the series as he was. For a moment, he had considered joining a book club but all of his attempts failed. The only clubs that ever focused on books like these were run by sexually frustrated middle-aged women who sneered at the mere thought of letting a man into their circle. On recommendation from a friend, he turned to the campus library community for help but was met with nothing short of disaster, which thus introduced the second point of contention: Rei.

The library check-in desk was notoriously run by volunteers, most of which were majoring in library science themselves. One such volunteer was Rei Natsuki, a junior with fiery hair and a chronic resting bitch face. It wasn’t that Kakashi didn’t like her, necessarily. Actually, every time he saw her he got this horrifying fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach that insisted he was about to throw up. He felt as if her eyes were on him constantly, studying his every move. This fact only furthered his gratitude for lumping together all of his tutoring appointments. The less time he spent in the library, the less often he would have to see her.

Not that she was necessarily easy to avoid. Just his luck, she lived three doors down from him in the same off-campus apartment complex. At least if he timed things just right, he could avoid running into her in the hallway. Their mutual existence was like a very carefully choreographed dance on perilous terrain. They were constantly at risk of colliding with one another, a harrowing and horrifying fate.

Their first encounter was in the fall of his freshman year when he snuck into the erotic fiction section searching for the Icha Icha books. As he skimmed the titles, he felt a pair of mossy eyes burning holes into his back like a cryptid whose domain has been intruded upon. When Kakashi turned around, he caught her peering around the edge of the bookshelf. Her expression was one of harsh focus and concern. “Looking for something?” she asked. For someone so small—she was roughly a foot shorter than he was—she was certainly terrifying.

Kakashi’s face turned beet red, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “No, not particularly!” he exclaimed. “Just looking around!”

“Hrmph” Rei huffed, unconvinced. “Well, if you need anything, I’ll be right over there” she pointed to the help desk at the front of the library. An older woman, one of the librarians, winked at her across the room and Rei’s face turned bright red. Without another word, she scurried off back to her station, grumbling under her breath. Once gone, Kakashi sighed and leaned back against the shelf. All of the books directly behind him tumbled to the ground with a loud thud. Rei immediately whipped around to glare at him but by then, he had already dove into the nearest study room. Frustrated, Rei stomped over to assess the damage and begin reorganizing the shelves. Kakashi apologized to the group he interrupted before booking it out of the building. It was in that moment that he officially decided: from that point onward, Icha Icha would remain his dirty little secret. Literally.

And thus came along the internet. At least there, hiding behind his computer screen, he could retain some sense of anonymity. He could disguise himself with a pen name much like wearing a mask. No one needed to know who he was. He pored over various forums, reading but never interacting. As refreshing as it was to find a sense of community amid other Icha Icha fans, his joy quickly faded when he realized one fatal flaw: no one knew what they were talking about. They all misinterpreted the characters, the relationships, the actions the heroine took to get to this point. Perhaps Jiraiya’s novels were too nuanced. Perhaps there was no hope for him after all. It was then, deep into a Reddit thread, that it dawned on him: the horrifying promise of writing fanfiction.

At first, Kakashi refused. He would not stoop so low. The harder he resisted, however, the more appealing the idea slowly became. At least in this way, he could help people to better understand these stories in a way that he was familiar with. Not that he was an avid writer himself but he hoped he was familiar enough with the conventions of fiction to understand how it was done. As if running on autopilot, he ventured to Archive of Our Own and created an account under the pseud “CopyNin.”

His fanfiction, Icha Icha Bloodline, introduced dramatic new themes and conflicts to the story he loved, expanding on the love triangle with a depth and sincerity that he hoped would make Jiraiya proud. It hadn’t gotten many hits yet, but that just made every kudos and comment feel that much heavier. As his cursor hovered over his inbox now, he almost questioned whether he even wanted to know. Every shared thought had the capacity to make or break his motivation. But if he didn’t look, he wouldn’t be able to contain himself. He needed to know. He pulled up the latest comment and his heart leapt into his throat. It was from LittleBell.

LittleBell was, for lack of a better word, iconic amid the Icha Icha fandom. They were one of the first writers Kakashi had encountered when he first considered fanfiction as a possibility. Their name appeared in dozens of forum posts, attached to both praise and criticism alike. By the time Kakashi looked into them himself, they had already written 100,000 words worth of fic with the longest piece nearing 100 chapters. It was clear why they were so popular. The cadence of their sentences, their detailed characterization, and their dynamic plot points all made Kakashi’s heart sing. He could only hope to one day be as great a writer as they were.

Kakashi had lurked through fifteen chapters before, in a fit of sleep-drunken gumption, he had decided to leave LittleBell a comment. It was short and sweet and afterward, Kakashi groaned into his pillow second-guessing every sentence, but he awoke to an encouraging response that firmly cemented the allure of writing a fic himself. And now here he was, faced with a comment from them on his own work. How could he ever prepare himself for something so huge? He instinctually expected scathing criticism. Your characterization sucks. You’re writing them all too flat. Her suitors would never say XYZ or do ABC. Have you even read the books? This is trash. Kakashi’s hands shook as he tried to shove those negative thoughts out of his mind. LittleBell had been so kind before so, realistically, why would their response be any different? Kakashi scratched the back of his head, knowing that the longer he waited, the more maddening this was going to become. Without another moment’s hesitation, he forced himself to view the comment.

This was so great! I love the way you write these characters—I can tell you have a really deep understanding of the heroine, especially. It’s so refreshing to read a fic that not only retains the romance of the originals but also emphasizes it in a way that’s super meaningful rather than cheesy. My favorite part was the scene where she’s fixing his watch. “It’s really an exquisite watch. Such a shame that it’s stopped working.” “I guess that just means that we’ll have to stay in this moment forever” “What will everyone else say? They’ll get tired of waiting.” “Let them wait. I’m always late to everything anyway. What’s another eternity?” My heart! You can really tell just how much he loves her, and it makes that love triangle all the more tense and heartbreaking! You’re really just doing an incredible job with this and I can’t wait to read more!”

Kakashi’s cheeks burned as he buried his face in his hands. It was all he could do to hide the grin on his face. Not that anyone was there to tease him for it. Pakkun was fast asleep on the couch and likely wouldn’t have cared anyway. Alone in his apartment, Kakashi was exploding. To think that someone so talented and renowned within the fandom not only noticed his work but enjoyed it was mind-blowing. This was a high he would surely be riding for the rest of the week, if not the rest of the semester. Nothing could be better than this.

Once the debilitating excitement wore down a bit, Kakashi was then stuck with the battle of writing a response. He knew there were some in the community who considered responding a controversial topic—something about trying to increase your comment count—but Kakashi enjoyed replying to every single person who took the time to say something nice. And this was certainly something very nice. How could he possibly put into words his overwhelming gratitude? He had no clue. Kakashi stewed over the prospect for a solid ten minutes before his growling stomach urged him to hurry up. He had completely forgotten he was hungry but now his body was not going to let him forget. He considered stepping away and replying later, after he had time to chew it over, but then quickly shoved away the thought. He couldn’t afford to put this on the backburner at the risk of forgetting about it entirely. No, he needed to do this now.

Kakashi typed, paused, considered, then backspaced and typed again. When he was finally at least mildly pleased with his response, he sucked in a deep breath and pressed Comment.

Huffing in relief, Kakashi stretched out and leaned his head back against his chair. All that was left to do now was wait. Would they even respond back? He didn’t know. Sometimes a comment began a whole conversation, other times it was a singular instance like a comet in the night sky.

But for now, he was going to try not to dwell on it. He received LittleBell’s praise, and if they were to respond back then so be it. It was all up to fate now. Kakashi slipped on his shoes, shoved his phone, wallet, and keys into his pocket, and headed out. As he locked his apartment, he heard without listening as a door down the hall creaked open. The sound reached his ears but his brain did not register what it was until it was too late. Turning around, he abruptly bumped into her.

A gasp fell from Rei’s lips as she collided with Kakashi’s chest. Her half-open backpack swung on her shoulder, spilling its contents onto the floor. “S-sorry about that!” he croaked, clearing his throat. Kakashi’s hands shook as he leaned down to help gather her belongings, all the while fearing her wrath. Among the used textbooks and stuffed notebooks was a green paperback with a big prohibition sign on the cover. The little bell charm attached to Rei’s keychain jingled and automatically Kakashi was punched in the gut with a realization of Pavlovian proportions. Little Bell.

“I-I’m sorry…what was that…?” Rei stammered and suddenly Kakashi realized he had, in fact, spoken aloud. Her voice, in response, was so much quieter than he had ever thought she was capable of—filled with the striking fear of being vulnerably and intrinsically known. Unmasked.

Kakashi’s eyes widened as he shuffled to gather as many of her books as he could manage. “I-I didn’t know you liked the Icha Icha books” he murmured. He could hardly make eye contact as he handed her back her things.

“Yeah…” she said, slowly accepting them, “They’re, uh…they’re my favorite.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Kakashi chuckled nervously and replied, “Mine, too.”

She wasn’t sure what it was about him but in that moment, a sickening feeling filled her chest, a nauseating suspicion that she couldn’t shake. There was really only way to confirm whether or not those suspicions were correct. At the risk of looking like an idiot, she cleared her throat then and said, “You know, that’s a really exquisite watch.” Kakashi froze, his eyes gently skating down to his wrist. He wasn’t wearing a watch. His heart pounded in his chest. Rei bit her lip, dropped her eyes to the floor. “It’s, uh, it’s a shame it’s stopped working.”

Kakashi’s mind was reeling. None of this felt real. Suddenly Rei was a completely different person to him now. He saw her not as the terrifying, impatient, and indirect girl from the library but the extremely talented, encouraging, yet perhaps unfortunately shy writer that he had spent so much time idolizing. If only he had known of the bond they secretly shared over the past few months. He could hardly fight the grin on his face as he murmured back, “Then I guess we’ll just have to stay in this moment forever.”

Rei’s cheeks burned as she hugged her books to her chest. She could feel the laughter rising up in the back of her throat—this was so ridiculous, and yet at the same time this was everything she had ever wanted. If only Kakashi had truly known how much she had suppressed over the years, since they first met in the library. The way the old librarian encouraged her to speak to him when she caught him perusing her favorite books. The way she’d hide out in her apartment whenever he left for class, watching from the window too scared to approach. The way she channeled all of her unrequited love and inner turmoil into the very story she now knew he idolized. She felt so strange and vulnerable but also for the first time truly seen. It was the most bizarre and lovely sensation.

She had no idea how long they actually stood there in the hallway like that, reveling in this newfound connection, but all too soon reality suddenly hit her. “D-do you have somewhere you’re supposed to be? I don’t want you to be late!” she exclaimed.

Kakashi, however, still entranced, shook his head and replied, “Let them wait. I’m always late to everything anyway.” Rei brushed the long bangs back out of her face, completely incapable of stifling her laughter. Kakashi joined her—the breadth of his smile, the bravado of his voice, the way his eyes squinted when he laughed, all were enough to make her weak in the knees. “Are you hungry?” he then asked. “I was just about to get something to eat. You should come with me.”

Sliding her books back into her backpack, Rei smiled and replied, “I would love that.” Swinging her bag back over her shoulder, she walked alongside him down the hallway. Their fingers itched to interlock, their hearts pounding out of their chests. He opened the door for her and together they stepped out into the autumn air. Nothing else mattered. In that moment, all that existed was them: CopyNin and LittleBell.

#kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction #one shot #modern au #kakashi lounge blog #server event

9 notes · View notes

ryodan · 8 years ago

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Sasuke and SASUSAKU.

Okay, I just saw this and I’ll humor you. I’ll even make a whole post for you.

@homez18

1) Whether Kishimoto said he was good or bad at writing romance is pretty irrelevant here as sasusaku related material made it into 44 of his 72 volumes. And actually, he never said he is bad at writing romance, he said he felt uncomfortable seeing characters he ‘grew’ kiss (Hinata and Naruto) and that he does not understand the hearts of women so he had to consult his editor and wife to write certain SS scenes, which in itself is effort spent. He never said ‘Idk how they got together’ he said he wrote the story with them in the back of his mind wondering how he would make them end up together and just decided to go with the flow. This is coming from the man who also said in the second board meeting with the Naruto staff that they were end game since their conception as character #5 and #6 respectively, a rival and a heroine added to the story and he thought of making a love triangle thing happen but was like no I probably could not pull that off. So, there goes that argument.

2) I will mention part 2 ss if you want me to, friend. But, saying SS does not make sense to the character (who I am assuming is sasuke?) and trying to erase part 1 is pretty???? Because a lot of part 2 was focused on getting the Sasuke they loved in part 1 back..a happier more emotionally stable one though.

3) Part 1 SS is very important because it is the time during the run of the series that featured the most positive emotional growth and development for sasuke, and a huge part of it was linked to sakura. We start off with this irritable, socially reclusive boy who’s first thought in the series is ‘more people will just drag me down’, and we later learn the reason of this behavior is trauma and survivors guilt which often leads to isolation, repression and irritability. This is not me trying to add psychology to his character arc, all of this is out right shown multiple times on spaced out occasions which reinforces that these are reoccurring thoughts. His fixation on his ‘revenge plot’ was aided by the fact that he was an introverted shy boy (this does not equal wants to be left alone considering he regularly sought acknowledgment) pre massacre and a full blown out isolated mess afterwards. Being alone only allowed him to obsess over revenge further, which no matter how you look at it is not healthy and it was never shown in the series to be healthy.

But anyways, I digress. A lot of him growing positively linked to Sakura. Some of his biggest part 1 moments include fighting orochimaru, awakening his seal and suppressing it (the cursed seal is arguably one of the biggest progressions of his character in part 1 as it leads to him being manipulated into leaving the village) and his fight with gara (again, arguably the moment he showed how much he grew as a character with team 7)

4) Don’t forget. The Curse of Hatred (憎しみの呪い, Nikushimi no Noroi) was an ideal common to the Uchiha Clan, the Uchiha are people greatly devoted to love and friendship, yet they tend to conceal their more affectionate traits. When the object of their affection is lost, an Uchiha’s love can instantaneously turn into hatred, leaving them more inclined to do anything and everything in their power to achieve their goals and show their own superiority, regardless of the consequences and repercussions of their actions. The despair of these experiences cause a manifestation of unique chakra within an Uchiha’s brain, impacting the optic nerves and creating the sharingan. This also requires extremely painful experiences, which cause the user to delve into darkness that utterly consumes them.

I won’t bring this up

Because this also happens

What I am trying to say is early part one gave a very good set up for who sasuke really is as a person, genuinely pretty empathetic and pure hearted which is easily backed up by the fact that when he was a kid (kishi regularly uses childhood to explain a psyche of a character) despite his inferiority complex growing due to his brother, he was still more concerned with the relationship between his dad and his brother going sour than his own feelings of neglect.

Even so, it was still obvious that he needed to go through some positive development.

The first time we are introduced to Sasuke’s stance in the entire series as an avenger is through his first interactions with sakura, which were literally given romantic context from volume 1 and mentioned again over the entire series and highlighted nearing the finale in volume 70, so yeah pretty relevant.

His isolation and irritability generally made him seem off standoffish but even with that, he took his time out to explain his stance in the story which is a pretty fuckin big deal considering this opening up is something suigetsu complains about in part 2 and jugo struggles to understand him because of. Naruto has to physically pull it out of him, kakashi got it when sasuke was in a very emotionally volatile state and sakura got it with a hug.

Cut to the first mission and his ties with naruto and sakura are established , the rival friend and the girl with the crush he feels some sort of protective affection for.

Moments like these (that make grown ass men cry but get antis panties in a knot) are funny bc when you say that he is comfortable with her touch already someone has to say he just woke up, but homeboy had a bunch of senbon sticking into him like a hedgehog and he still took a moment to call naruto a moron and say he did not want to die before accomplishing revenge.

So, until this day the person he is most physically comfortable with sakura and we all know how he feels about physical touch haha

After said mission, a very sweet and important scene happens and it highlights a shift in character for sasuke. It’s also the scene my avid sasuke hater friend says ‘the only time that dick did anything nice’. Where after he has a lil salty moment with a naruto who was acting particularly bratty that day gives Sakura the ‘instead of minding me why don’t you practice a jutsu? To be frank with you, your abilities are even less than naruto’s.’ which if after the guy readily jumped in front an attack to protect her you think he is going out of his way to be a dick then that is a pretty faulty assumption. He was being frank, it is what it is. Was it needed to make sakura realize her ass needs to grow up? Yes. Could it have been worded better? Also, yes. Which is why the next scene happens where Sasuke grows more in tune with her and is able to tell she is feeling down. Him being aware of and caring about her personal feelings is a huge step forward for his character and is pretty much the only time this type of behavior exists from him.

He is being nice, says a huge compliment and look at his little smile, he is satisfied that she is happy. A huge step forward from ‘I don’t care for bonds bc I have revenge!!11!!’

The fight vs rock lee happens and sasuke grows a little more and team 7 has a scene furthering their bonds (added romantic context on sakuras part ofc)

During the chuunin exams ofc they face orochimaru and sasuke over comes something shown right in the beginning of the land of the waves arc : an intense paralyzing fear of strong opponents with an intense blood lust dating back to the day of the massacre.

He sees Sakura shaking and his sharingan activates, showing he is worried about her and as they are about to get attacked he forces himself to move (ugoke!) and stabs himself to go get her. Cute moment showing he cares. A lot.

And yet again a huge character moment, when she calls him out on being a coward and for his hypocrisy towards naruto, insulting him frequently yet in the same position naruto was once in and in his mind he immediately flashes back to the reason he always believed he needed to live : his ‘moral burden’ of killing itachi and for the first time refuses to live tied by the ‘rules’ itachi made for him and over comes that fear and fights. She talk no jutsued sasuke lol

And ofc he gets bitten and seeks physical comfort from her. he initiated that contact with her meaning her presence is comforting to him, a big deal in a moment of such intense agony.

And then the iconic hug scene, where his survivor guilt is shown in his nightmares and his intense feelings of hating himself for not being able to protect him family causing his curse mark to act up and when he wakes up to see sakura hurt, the mark and by extension sasuke under it’s influence heating him up go out of control. (but even then when she expresses worry over him he takes time out to explain his major stance in the entire story yet again, even if I abandon myself to evil on my path I must obtain power)

‘Sakura, iie! omae o kizutsuke ta no wa doidsu da?’

‘Sakura, tell me! Which of them hurt you?’ chosen in the databook by kishi and readers as one of the best scenes because it shows ‘she is now a person he wants to protect and how angry he would get at himself if he could not do it’

Again quoting the databook, Sakuras heart thinking of sasuke devours the wicked power.

And even after this is over homeboy watches over her getting her hair cut, is like ?? at Naruto when he asks about her hair instead of her beat up face. After this, they really became much closer and more in sync, even working together and show casing that they can strategize together.

His resolve of avenging his families death doesn’t magically disappear however and he is still focused on getting stronger hence the little conversation they have, where sakura is worried about him in pain and starts crying, sasuke sees this and is disturbed so he yet again explains his stance in the story to her but funnily enough singles her out (ikura omae demo) as a very special person and says he won’t forgive even her if she takes that away from him. Inside the fight he is sustained by his wet dream (joke) and the cheer he got from the annoying orange and is able to suppress the curse once again thinking about (his crying fetish) her tears.

And then god damn, they are on a roll here bc the fight with gara happens and sakura jumps in to protect him from a lethal blow and if what happened previously wasn’t enough of an emphasized thing, the love in sakuras eyes #triggers gara.

And Sasuke gives his little speech telling naruto to save her and essentially that he is about to go off on a suicide mission and knows it’ll probably end here but he is ready to do it because he is not willing to see another precious person to him die right in front of him again. Mind you, this is after he shows again the intensity of his survivor guilt straight up saying the only reason he was ‘allowed to live’ was to carry the moral burden of avenging his clan but at this moment in time the pain of losing someone that precious to him is enough to make him consciously decide he is willing to die and leave all of that behind. This is the biggest difference between this and those scenes in the land of waves arc. Back then, it was show casing his empathy and kindness, my body moves on it’s own and even though I could die and not accomplish my goals which I really want to I cant just let a comrade die in front of me, where as now it’s I know I probably won’t come out of this but then pain of dying and not accomplishing my goals seem less than seeing another person I care so much about die right in front me. Seeing this, naruto realizes the importance of caring and fighting for the people you love and fights gara, teaching him the same values. Important scene overall to the story.

After seeing naruto go up to par with gara and ‘realizing how helpless’ he was in that fight he was pretty jealous due to feelings of inferiority to naruto, and that jealousy was partly fueled and thrown in our face twice by seeing sakura smile gently at naruto. Romantic or not, he is jealous of her smiling at naruto, that is undeniable.

And then itachi happens, and that reawakens his intense resolve. It doesn’t help the fact that orochimaru sought him out while extremely emotionally vulnerable. Ofc his petty ass attitude in the hospital scenes was fueled by his feelings of inferiority thrown in his face by the one person he really did not want that from, the same person who made him feel inferior as a child. And again to add heat to the burn, he remembers the smile and the plate thing happens.I see a lot of anti sasuke people talking about his scene pretending that when i say inferiority complex while talking about sasuke i mean something stemming from lack of acknowledgment from his dad, from being weaker than itachi and not able to protect his family, for having itachi be like i am here for naruto idc about you after everything. Not, oh man naruto seems better than me :/ gotta start shit :/

Oh right the hug when he wakes up. Again, people claim he was tired and traumatized, which he was, But the look he gave her for caring about him so much was very tender and it did not go unnoticed to nardo.

He ofc gets manipulated by the sound 4 and we are shown how emotionally attached he is to team 7

And the confession scene happens where sakura just desperately gives him promise after promise of making him happy and it isn’t just because she wants him there but also she doesn’t want to see her loved one torment and hurt himself over revenge, but it is more than revenge to sasuke it’s a moral burden, (he has a right to want to avenge his family from their murderer from a moral stand point) and that is what he kept trying to communicate to both her and kakashi. He doesn’t allow her to come because just as we saw with team taka, he isn’t willing to let anyone shoulder what he believes to be his personal pain and burden, specially not someone so special. And when she cries over him leaving and the fact that she believed for a second that he doesn’t care and forgot all of their meaningful interactions he turns around and says annoying, but with a smile this time.

That thank you meant a lot, man. It was not just a thank you for saying I love you.

Sasuke fights naruto to obtain the mangekyo by killing his best friend but then realizes last moment that he being manipulated by his brother and snaps out of it, refusing to kill such a close person.

Sasuke’s encounter with team 7 early part was pretty significant in developing naruto and sakuras friendship as 2 comrades who share the pain of their dear friend gone from their lives, but it also explains sasukes psychological point of view. After having his resolved awakened to a point of obsession again and realizing that there was a time in his life where he cared about other people to the point of giving up that goal, he decides to cut off his bonds with them.

The ‘attack’ on naruto was again for the mangekyo, and sakuras ass would have come out unscathed if she didn’t go all ‘gotta stop this hoe he out here hurting my pals’ but he was hurting her pals and stabbing people ofc she wouldn’t be like yas baby go. He pulls out his sword in defense but yamato ends up getting stabbed, my poor wood boy.

Sasuke takes down orochimaru because in his constructed moral everything that relates to itachi is bad and senseless killing and torturing( at that time) registered in his head as an itachi thing, which only made his already strong moral code tingle with a strong feeling of ‘im going to take you down you sick son of a bitch, and ill make a bible reference while I am at it’

The lil hawk takes flight and assembles Taka, showing again, a strong moral sense when he says he isn’t going to take anyone by force and he even sets orochimarus captives free. Sasuke is shown to care for Takas safety on multiple occasions but it’s the biggest insult his character receives when people look at him with fan goggles to monopolize him as if he is a cold hearted sadist who only cares for a few people when he is a very selfless, empathetic person. On a personal level though, he did not know their last names, nor did he ask about their history as captives (except for jugo..for obv reasons) so I would not exactly call that emotional investment. But I do think something was there, like they were a hella good team in combat. However,they noticed him going ‘dark’ and never tried to help or stop him so I cant call it a friendship, but I can’t deny it was a team.

After the fight with itachi he is again very emotionally vulnerable and obito hops on his dick to manipulate him, and it works significantly well because sasuke ends up seeing the ENTIRE leaf village as responsible for killing his family after they discriminated against them, and while that might be a wrong train of thought since most people in Konoha are innocent (ten tens worst crime is how little screen time that cutie has), in his now much more jaded, cynical mind it makes a whole lot of sense since it now seems like konoha killed them for their personal benefit and are dancing on their uchiha graves by pretending it never happened and that they never placed the burden of an entire world war on his brothers shoulders. Everyone is guilty. Everyone is laughing at their deaths. I am a little unstable. I am also a victim. Not to say he isn’t held accountable for his actions because he is a victim but a lot of his character arc and decisions make sense and tie in with his suffering …people going ‘bad’ because of their victimhood is not a new concept you see it with bullies all the time and that is why its important to grasp the situation by the balls and end the circumstance that creates such victims. He also awakens his mangekyo sharingan, meaning he is slowly stepping further into the curse of hatred.

They go to retrieve bee and its shown that he has yet to lose all logical moral reasoning because he still cares for takas safety even though he has declared to crush the leaf, meaning he hates only the leaf atm..all of his concentrated itachi hatred redirected. But he falls a little morally when he captures innocent ass bee and attacks the cloud. That shit was uncalled for, but he was trying to further his plans. I mean suna attacked konoha and its all good in the hood so we could chill. But it wasn’t right.

Ofc however during the bee arc sasuke uses his power that is obtainable through an emotionally driven doujutsu by having an image of team 7 on his mind as he was made to remember when he sees people showing genuine care about him. No matter how far he slipped, seven was always there. Right there, in part 2. The only time sasuke remembers team 7 in a positive light (otherwise he just wants to kill naruto because he stands in the way of his plans) includes sakura and kakashi. You cant argue he doesn’t care cause???

In the 5 kage summit arc a new falling rapidly into the curse of hatred sasuke makes the leap in logic that if his brother who he saw as a good person now, and Konoha which he previously thought to be good could kill on multiple occasions then killing is no longer an off the table option anymore and he warns those samurai before doing the doodly do. He is a bit out of character here, but his change in mind set made him 180. Its an interesting shift in character for a kid whos empathy and moral high ground kept him on the fence of killing in a series where a teacher tells 12 year old kids to come at him with the intent if killing. He seeks out danzo and this is where his motives and pain come into full display ‘sono migiude teni ireru tameni nanin no uchiha o teni kaketa?’ ‘how many uchihas did you take down in order to get that right arm’

His driving force for his emotions and suffering are lost bonds and a moral burden he still sees himself accountable for.

Ofc this fight features his full descend into the darknes when he stabs Karin and generally looks beyond mentally unstable, this is where his character even though distorted before, goes through a gross distortion where he seems maniacal and just not there. This is bc as an uchiha, the more emotional pain he feels the more hatred he feels ,and the more he uses magic eye level 2.0, the more he loses himself.

Sakura somewhere out there doesn’t know the truth about itachi so sasuke is just acting like a dick wad and attacking innocent villages to her, and to avoid anyone getting hurt, physically or emotionally she burdens herself with killing him in order to save him from going darker. ‘oh but she gave up on him!!111!!!’ like, kakashi did the same thing for obito and at this point her logical order isn’t flawed. Sasuke was by definition an S ranked internationally wanted criminal attacking villages and peace meetings, falling rapidly into a darkness that his past self wouldn’t approve of and he was getting hunted by every hoe in every country who wanted his ass dead. At least sakura (who again, did not know his reasons and you cant blame her for not knowing) did it to protect the empathetic boy who wouldn’t do something as senseless as attack an innocent man and aid a terrorist organization and to protect naruto emotionally and physically from akatsuki as well as ensure no one gets hurt from him as he is strong. In no way is it her way of being selfish, considering the language she used insinuated she was willing to die right there and then with him. The mission was a complete failure from the start bc hoe can’t kill him and if you truly think she could, I pray for you to find the light.

She shows up ofc and homeboy is suspicious right away, like I know u well enough what u plotting yo?? He knows from the get go shes out here for murder and he goes behind her and almost chidoris her. The factors that go into play here are 1) curse of hatred. 2) she is out for murder, he knows it and turns the table. It’s a low moment for him but that’s the whole purpose behind the scene. The fact that he went behind in the first attack of The Day ™ even though he probably knew he could take her down if he wanted to showed that he still isn’t able to attack face first. That’s not me romanticizing that scene bc ew, but it’s the truth. The look on his face is also not that of the most stable person. Second attack is purely in self defense and he has fallen to the point where he could do it from the front. Naruto shows up and his face shows he knows he done fucked up.

Naruto declares that you are my friend ™ (aaah ano hi no yume..) after sasuke yet again shows how far hes fallen due to the curse, pain and obitos brain washing by some good ol’ evil laughter, shouting he will turn peoples laughter into ‘screams and moans’ (how..awful sounding..to have sasuke make you scream and moan..jokejoke) and sasuke is like fuck u shit how dare u CARE about me ? Stop. And again naruto declares he will stop him and help him to which sasuke pulls an I-listen-to-my chemical romance and bring me the horizon- you don’t understand me!! And although affected by naruto still calling him a friend after all of this, he ends up getting also annoyed by Naruto trying to stop him and leaves thinking give me magic eye level 3.0 I want to kill Missy Elliot in her orange jump suit bc she thinks she will stop me by being my friend. How do I feel about what Naruto said to him that day? Personally, I think he missed the moral perspective of sasuke going crazy (he knew the truth) but he was coming from the right place. They all were. They just wanted him to stop suffering, all of them willed to die with him.

And thus begins their cute chase. Will Naruto fight sasuke first and save him? OR will sasuke kill him first so his ninja jesus light doesn’t stop his plans? Are they going to die together? So much to think about.

Sasuke gets his much deserved confrontation with itachi during the war and this is the healthiest time for them. Itachi no longer sheltered sasuke in a way that was poisonous for the both of them and sasuke asked the questions he deserved answers for. He got them, and an I love you all wrapped with a bow of existential crisis because after the fight with Kabuto, he sees his brother still doing his best for the leaf, still believing kabuto -an evil hoe- could change for the better. And he asks why such a ‘perfect’ person as itachi would still associate with shit like this and itachi is like dude I think you missed the part where I killed your family, tortured and manipulated you. I am not perfect, and neither is the dark world we live in but let me tell you some solid advice that correlates with the star hax of the arc, the beautiful jutsu that makes no sense : Izanami. The past may be shitty, and we could either run around in an infinite loop suffering because of it, or we could chose to break free, accept what happened and change the future instead of doting on the past. Sasuke is like k cool man I get u but what next? ur jesus talk no jutsu ability is impressive but now I am questioning everything. What do I change? What is right and wrong? What is a village? What is a shinobi? I may not know now, but when I become supreme lord of everything, ill know then haha.

To answer these questions he goes to the One Who Knoweth All, the master of snakes-voldermort with a nose, and revives the kage who basically tell him yeah dude listen our history was fucked, apparently now is fucked, conflict always arises in every age and time its like madara said- you can never look into someones gut.But like maybe the new young generation can deal with it?? deal with ur own fucked up economy, suzan. He also finds out more about why the uchiha were so feared (madara, sharingan, tobirama the little shit, a sticky messy situation kishimoto why are u like this)and Donald trump (tobirama) tells him ur bad bc u love too much tf is wrong with u and sasuke was like fix ur fucking face tattoo u discriminatory bitch. Sasuke comes to the conclusion that he is now a renewed konoha fanboy ‘I wont let this village or my brother go to waste!11!’ because he realizes yeah man history is fucked and I want to change that so no other kid ends up in a situation like mine, full of pain, anger and blind hate.

Shows up on the battlefield, (Sakura, ka? ) and engages in some eye sex with sakura while ignoring others and declares yoyo idc bout what u think of me losers, imma be president. And naruto was like um imma let u finish but im gonna be the greatest hokage of ALL TIME (about that…anyways) . and ensues some team 7 and some naruto and sasuke being the iconic duo they are. It is important remember however, sasuke was at the moment in process of truly cutting all bonds, ensuring he is hated and fully immersing himself into the shadows. Although he is the first to react when sakura is attacked, warns her and kakashi multiple times so they don’t get hurt, saves them from infinite tsukiyomi and double checks on them in the Kaguya dimension, he pretends that like uh idc whatever I don’t care u guys cant even do much, I saved naruto because without him the world would end and u were just there so I saved you

to which naruto calls bullshit and sasuke is like ‘ur ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch’ ah brings back memories..of sasuke pretending to be a heartless bitch.

But like, he could not let her hit the floor so I am sure her hitting lava was a no-no. That moment happens, it was nice. Thank u, for that, kishimoto. And he even says ‘okagede todoita’ ‘thanks to you, I reached’ , nice moment.

After kaguya is over, they even exchange smiles. But nah, sakura, still in tune with sasuke as ever was right not to trust him 100% bc he pulls a IM GOING TO BE SUPREME WORLD LEADER, START A REVOLUTION, KILL THE 5 KAGES AND CAST THE WORLD INTO A NEW FUTURE. I fully support sasuke wanting to change the world that caused people like him, itachi, naruto, nagato, madara, obito, neji etc etc so much pain. I fully support revolution. I don’t want him to kill the 5 kages, but they really aren’t innocent so I understand where he is coming from. Him wanting to put the entire weight of hatred on himself is pretty selfless. It pains me (and naruto) seeing him say he is alone and willing and ready to bear hatred. All of that is valid but see :

dictator

noun

1. a ruler with total power over a country, typically one who has obtained control by force.

Synonyms:

Autocrat, monocrat, absolute ruler

How a dictatorship works : Dictatorship is a form of government where a country or a group of countries is ruled by one person or political entity, and exercised through various mechanisms to ensure that the entity’s power remains strong

A dictatorship is a type of Authoritarianism, in which politicians regulate nearly every aspect of the public and private behavior of citizens. Dictatorship and totalitarianism societies generally employ political propaganda to decrease the influence of proponents of alternative governing systems.

Examples of dictators :

· Adolf Hitler ,dictator of Germany from 1933 to 1945, and Benito Mussolini ,dictator of Italy from 1922 to 1943.

· Julius Caesar, dictator of Rome.

· Joseph Stalin, dictator of the Soviet Union from 1929 to 1953.

Sasukes plans :

So, while I do support him wanting change, I don’t think his method was right. Not for the world and not for him and the only person who could communicate that to a boy who is at his core is just lonely, is a boy who was equally lonely but learned the value of comradeship, unity and love. He saw it’s ability to bring about great, good change and he believed he wanted that to continue and not sasukes self destructive autocratic plans.

Anyways, sakura begs him not to slip any further, says that she knows he is in pain but she doesn’t want him suffering any longer but she cant fight him physically like naruto, neither can she convince him to stay even though she loves him so much, however she tries one last time again, hoping maybe his hoe ass will agree that unity is better than separation and sasuke is affected as hell. He shakes, showing once again he is the boy who cares about the people he loves too much.

Gave her a look that would have looked like this without the rinnegan, because he does not want to be alone and anyone who says that is a jackass

She is an annoyance because for a faltering second, she can still after all this time, in part 2 weaken his resolve.

He shows her the genjutsu of him killing her to seal the deal and ensure she hates him, but I doubt he would have ever been able to physically harm her after his head cleared up a bit. A bit.

Kakashi scolds him saying she doesn’t deserve this when all she did was try to help you. literal Japanese translation, Sasuke says ‘ are you suggesting I enjoy ‘renai’’ quite literally ‘romantic love’ in Japanese. He acknowledged the romantic context of their relationship himself. Then he goes on, and I translate literally again ‘I have no reason to love her and she has no reason to love me’, and kakashi calls bullshit by basically stating sasuke, love is not something you have to look for a reason for. The thing you do need excuses and reasons to fill your life with though, is hatred. She is not trying to make you ‘her thing’, she wants to help you no matter how much bad you’ve done her because she loves you so much it makes her suffer. AND IMMEDIATELY he flashes back to the purest love he knows, the love that he never sat down and tried to reason with, the love that caused him suffering. His love for his family. ‘perhaps those are ties to a failed past’..and goes on to kill Naruto bc he is the last friend who will stand in his way.

Hagoromo basically confirms ss will happen when it shots to sakuras face saying ‘love turned to hate’ then kakashi asks ‘so like sasuke is a lost cause?’ hagoromo says ‘not at all I hope naruto and sasuke break the cycle of hate’ then it pans to sasuke saying ‘I hope hate turns to love’ and since this is a shonen, ofc it did.

Naruto and sasukes fight communicates all of their feelings and experiences and no matter how stubbornly sasuke insists on being alone, naruto is like no bitch I know what that’s like and I refuse to let my brother (from another mother) go through that eternally. And boom bada bim, it took an arm but he got free from the curse of hatred, and they broke the cycle. Sasuke then goes on to say how he always admired naruto to a point where it gave him an inferiority complex, just like itachi. He had a strong will and a power source unknown to sasuke. But one thing he finally fucking learned, is wait yeah man when we were on the same time and you became my comrade I felt your pain too. I saw you guys as my family- fuck right shit the sharing of pain and enduring it together until it comes to pass. That is what I learned from team 7, that is where your source of power comes from and you know what I accept that you learned it a lot earlier than I did. It’s my loss. Naruto is like if ur hoe ass don’t stop with this emo shit ill beat u up again bc YOURE MY FRIEND AAAH and sasuke finally god damn gets what naruto meant by that and the realization that the love he starved for all his life was right there waiting for him to accept it was so earth shattering to him that he cried. Blood connected, pain shared, bond reformed and sasuke wanted to start over. Which is why when he realizes what was meant by sakura loves you so much that seeing you suffer makes her suffer was she loves you unconditionally he fucking asked for that beautiful bond again. After all this mess, there is a reason he apologized only to her. She couldn’t do much for him because she isn’t as strong as he is, but her love was pure and selfless and all she ever wanted for him was happiness and he apologizes for not getting that earlier, for his mistreatment in the war, for the land of iron, for ‘everything up until now’.

We don’t know what happened in the blank period, but all we know is they spent some time together. And he is about to go on a redemption journey, again his own moral

burden but this time it’s to start fresh and check some kaguya traces that worry him. Sakura is all like k but can I come, and he tells her frankly girl no ur too pure for what I did, lemme deal with this first. ‘Mata condo na’ is different from itachis ‘mata condo da’, theyre both delaying something, but the difference with na is that is is definite promise of something inevitable. The forehead poke means the world to sasuke, both the negatives and the positives that came with it and he let it’s legacy carry on but in a positive light. This is a promise of a better tomorrow together, where I am ready and think I am in a position where I completely understand the world without being manipulated or full of hate.(he was so easily manipulated when because he was always kept away from the truth so he had no footing to base thing off) that happens, I’ll be back for you, and that is inevitable. I want this, but on amicable, better terms. And fuck, that happens. Sasuke learned the answer to his question by the end of the series and the final blow of logic was thanks to naruto- a ninja is one who endures until things come to pass. The sharing of pain can be applied to greater things.

He would have to endure a little longer before his redemption comes to pass.By shinden sasuke walks around the best human being, helping people, doing a talk no jutsu, worrying about Konoha but he isn’t sure if he shows up there it would be completely safe from people after him or if everyone is ready to welcome him back and at the end of the novel he receives a letter from naruto that’s like sup yo come back homie I miss ur emo ass also sakura was like ooh hes protecting the village from the outside like a police officer!!11! And sasuke flashes back to his dreams when he was younger and says ‘I guess I should head home’, basically this bitch came back for sakura, and sakuras hiden concludes with him showing up home after he took down the people on the outside of root to come save her (lol but his wife is not a weak woman) and seeing her saying ‘I am home, Sakura.’ ‘Welcome home, Sasuke-kun.’

They travel together probably fucking under stars and shit, got married, had a baby and raised her until Naruto became hokage and sasuke took up a mission only he could do bc he has rinnegan. Obviously this fucking hurt him and he was miserable about it considering he finally gets a family and hes walking his baby girl with his wife one day and the next fate is like ok but if the world ends in 2 minutes and they both like die along with the rest of planet earth haha sasuke I like to shit on ur life. But as he and sakura said it he took up the mission for the future to remain bright and because sakura and sarada are very precious to him. Sakura wasn’t allowed to give out any potentially dangerous information as this mission was top secret so she would avoid questions but still gave her daughter the basic run down ‘vv important he loves u k that’s all I can say’ and she was in general a great mother, shown to be caring, reveal what she could and take care of her sick baby. Sasukes mistake was even though he was doing it for his family, he failed to realize that his daughter still wanted him there. That is why he apologized and told sakura that this mess is not on her.The baby mama drama happens and sakura is like leave it to the child of the man who wanted to be ninja hitler to think she has a different mom bc she wears glasses and jump to 30 conclusions about her dad and I’s relationship, which I’d like to mention gaiden has no ss marriage issues. Sakura and Sasukes bond lives, their feelings are connected, their thoughts and feelings reach each other, they both greatly love and respect each other.. gaiden was about saradas adventure in whys my dad such a jerk and holy shit is this woman my mom land. As it goes on she sees her parents interact, sees the love and respect, the depth of the bond between them and is shown smiling, touched by that. She gets her verification of love and the importance of the mission and why it was done by the end of gaiden, and she even gets a forehead poke (try and make it negative but it gave her tears of joy) and a hug. + a cute ass family photo that she stares at and thinks how her family shares a true link of love. He tries his best to spend time with his family despite such an important mission waiting for him and he promises more if he can. I will defend papa-suke until I fuckin die bc from what we are shown he is a deeply caring dad who actually makes sure his child is happy. And if you are pressed about him leaving without kissing her sakura herself says an expression that means he Is teasing me by making me wait, and like sasuke is a reserved ass boy who grew up very traditionally Japanese, he isn’t about to make out with her on public. He does leave however with a smirk on his face (lil shit is happy he saw his wife and teased her) and a bento (not just a boxed lunch..its made with love by someone very special to you –sarada my bb) in his hand. By boruto he comes in time for the chuunin exams and the light novel literally says sakura has been gleaming and glossing since he came back, a Japanese expression for having lots of sex so the wait was worth it. Boruto defeats Momoshiki in 2 minutes like the op bitch he is and hallelujah sasuke is back with his family and everyone is smiling and happy and loved up. Sasuke looks over his child and student with a gentle smile that he only shows sakura (light novel written by kishi), they stand with each other just watching over their baby girl how cute.

Sasukes character is complex but if you sit down and try to understand him before running your mouth, he is easy to understand. Kishimoto does not owe you shit, he worked hard, he put his work forward and that is it. criticize his work or the dude but don’t pretend to understand a character you misinterpreted better than the author. Sakura was always relevant. This is a little SS input into the character of sasuke. If you need anything else i own most of the series (even tho i got lazy to keep taking pictures lol) and i am pretty fluent in japanese, so come to me if you need anything else. Bye.

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