#saw someone make a hidden strife post in 2023 and was like OH SHIT NOWS MY CHANCE

[therealturbovicki]

GODDD sometimes i like to think about how despite diluc leaving kaeya with nothing but words of disdain (they seemed to roll so easily off his tongue that night) and a few scars, kaeya still thought it was important to tell him about eroch. even if he wanted nothing to do with him, he still deserved to know about the downfall of the man that spit on their deceased father. “you don’t have to reply.” LIKE. man :((

when diluc receives the letter is he angry? confused? or do his eyes light up for the very first time since leaving, a little spark of joy or hope or relief even? to know that you hurt your little sibling…but he still cares enough to tell you everything……”do you think he took special care to not let any of his tears fall onto the letters” AUGGHHHHHHH

do you think diluc and kaeya took each other’s requests to look out for themselves to heart? “take care” “take better care of yourself instead” (i love how these lines that are most often quoted to show how they still care about each other are from different time periods but diluc’s still seems to be in direct reply of the first. how long do you think he built up the courage to say it?) kaeya has one less drink then usual that night. diluc remembers to bandage the littler scrapes and cuts. kaeya keeps the grip on his blade a little steadier and diluc decides not to leave the winery on an empty stomach. do you think even unconsciously they Did take better care of themselves? that the tiniest thought in the back of their minds that the other still cares enough to even fret is enough?

“do you think, in that moment, that kaeya finally felt hopeful?” YOU CANT JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT (you absolutely can and yeah i’m thinking about it big time op) diluc and kaeya are both such sentimental little assholes. keeping piles of letters and seashells and stupid vases. they don’t have to but they do because it’s something to hold onto. a tangible reminder that there IS hope. i hate them <3

okay so i'm STILL thinking about the hidden strife event btw. and the symbolism between diluc keeping the letters from kaeya out in the open where he can see them, and the fact that he kept ALL the letters

every single one.

do you think that while he was away from mondstadt, sheltering from the biting wind in shenznaya, he thumbed between the few letters he had and committed them to memory? do you think he sat there, with all the time in the world to think about what happened, and about what he could've done differently? do you think he took special care to not let any of his tears fall onto the letters, just in case the ink smeared and became unreadable? do you think that the second diluc got the chance to write back, he stared at the parchment for what seemed like forever, mind filled with words and apologies that refused to be written down?

how often do you think diluc doubled checked his mail after arriving back in mondstadt? how long did diluc stay up at night before finally writing "take care of yourself, instead." ?

and kaeya,,,

kaeya, who keeps everything close to his chest, hidden away in a corner only he knows. how often do you think kaeya slipped onto the roof of the KoF HQ before diluc had responded to his letters, his fingers gently tracing over the shells he kept tucked in a pouch. do you think he looked around every corner with the hopes of seeing diluc, only to be disappointed every single time when he wasn't there?

when diluc still hadn't returned, and yet he'd sent a letter anyway, how quickly do you think kaeya rushed to hide it away with his other treasures? how many times did he read that letter, committing it to memory while diluc did the same thing miles and miles away?

do you think, in that moment, kaeya finally felt hopeful?

anyways, i have a lot of thoughts about them now that i'm a little more coherent about that event (it took like eight months holy shit) (and i'm STILL mentally unwell??? wtf)