#saw a tiktok where the girl said people in their early twenties are just trying to figure things out as they go
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i feel like as a kid, when you hear about how adults don't have things figured out at their age, you don't think about it much cause you're so young but then when you're older and you actually don't know what you're doing, where you're going in life... it's much (or maybe a little) harder to be able to navigate and trust that things will be okay when you don't have a specific path that you're working towards, or maybe you do and things don't go according to plan and you're just left to pick up the pieces and wonder where and how to move forward from here
#🗣️ rambles#sorry it's the late night thoughts#saw a tiktok where the girl said people in their early twenties are just trying to figure things out as they go#everyone is pretending to have their shit together#and i can't help but feel that that's really true#i've no idea what i'm doing or what's gonna happen#but i'm gonna try and trust that what's meant for me will come and that things will work out in their own time
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Could I get headcanons for the main six with mc who is obsessed with stuffed animals?
Thanks for requesting I hope you like it :)
Request are open! :))
Main six with an mc who is obsessed with stuffed animals
Asra
He thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world
Every time he travels away from you, he always brings you one back that represents where he traveled (a modern day example would be a teddy bear with a sombrero to represent Mexico, (just so you get the picture)) he also gets to them as presents for birthdays and holidays anniversaries
In a modern au, you both more or likely have a beanie baby collection hiding somewhere in the shop, you both probably brought another beanie baby snail so you could recreate the “snesbian”(snail lesbian) wedding you saw on tiktok
Early in you’re relationship (pre-upright) before he can take you on trips with him he finds it really comforting to know that you have a cuddle buddy or two to keep you company while he’s away, but after you’ve been together for a while (post-upright) don’t be surprised when you wake up and all your stuffed animals are on the floor (that is if you sleep with them of course!)
I also really like the idea of asra trying to make you a stuffed animal for your birthday or anniversary, or any other celerbration (something a like his Faust trinket you can get from the wheel, just a little more improved, )
Apologies in advance for the angst BUT If you’ve had this obsession pre-memory lost, when you’re,,,, y’know (trying to keep this as spoiler free as I can for some of the new guys!) he clutches on to it every night while he’s trying to sleep, crying out you’re name, (and probably uses it in his studies to try to get you back,) and post-y’know, he brings it with him during all his trips because of how much he hates being away from you, and if you’ve grown fond of that one, he’ll bring another one you like a lot, he feels bad but he can’t help it, he just misses you so much
Also some of you are gonna hate me for this but piggy backing off of that angst I just wrote, imagine Julian and asra in the shop, doing...their....studies..(if you know you know) and Julian just sees the stuffed animal in the bed and asks why asra has it (and being himself try’s to make a joke about asra needing to sleep with a stuffed animal, when he can just sleep with him instead-) and asra just kicks him out, and they never talk about it again.
Nadia
She’s on it. She’ll ask you a million questions, “what kind do you like, do you need to sleep with any, do you want a custom one, or a spefic kind?”
Her room is so cluttered with stuffed animals by the end of the week, that she makes you pick out you’re favorite one (which quickly turns into ten or twenty) and the rest go to their own separate room in the palace, where they’re put on display, and easily accessible for you to switch out with any of the ones In you’re too, that you’re bored with
In a modern au I feel like Nadia would also be on bored for collecting beanie babies, but unlike asra who’s only in it for the snesbian wedding she wants all of the rare ones doesn’t matter how much they cost, she has them, it’s not even about you at this point, when Nadia gets a kick you just gotta let her ride it out.
I think it’s canon (or atleast close to canon) that Nadia loves to design clothes, I mean we all know she loves to tinker, but I think she’ll find it really relaxing destining new stuffed animals with you and clothes for some of the ones you already have if you’d want (and yes. She makes matching ones for you and you’re favorites)
If you do sleep with them, Nadia might find it a little hard to sleep with all the clutter around the bed so she’ll thoss the ones your not cuddling off the bed (or if she’s having a real sleepless night, she’ll throw them across the room) but nonetheless if you’re happy she’s happy, she’ll never get agitated at you for having your own interest (despite tripping over like three of them while trying to start her day)
Also I feel like atleast one of Nadias sisters had that stuffed animal phase as a kid, if you know baby....then you know so I feel like it’s really refreshing for her to be able to keep stuffed animals around without having to hear someone scream and whine because they couldn’t get the one they wanted
Julian
The day after you tell him he brings you a doctor teddy bear, wearing a hand-sewn eye patch witch Portia more or likely helped him make (note that I said helped he wanted to try to make it on his own... but surgical stitches are a lot diffrent from things such as cross stitches,,,, and the fabric is just a lot more flimsy then human flesh)
He likes to bring you ‘fun’ ones as he calls them, teddy bears dressed as pirates, doctors, flappers, any kind that matches you’re faveroite animal, pigs decked out in fancy clothes (the vesuvia verson of Miss piggy) espically if he knows you like them, he would do anything to see you laugh and smile, especially if it’s from one of his gifts, it makes his heart jump
In a modern au, you could spend your quality time making fun of the ridiculous beanie baby prices, but for the love of god please don’t say you find a beanie baby who’s highest bidding price is over one hundred dollars cute, because HE WILL bid on it and the price DOESNT MATTER (also- self indulgent but If you have a furby espically the older ones, it will freak Julian the hell out, and he will quickly turn it so it’s not looking at him every time he enters a room)
Every time you travel together he checks all the touristy gift shops for a stuffed animal you like, and will happily buy you any type you like, and it doesn’t matter how big it is. He WILL make it fit in his suit case, even if it means he has to leave a couple pairs of shoes behind.....
If you sleep with any of you’re stuffed animals he doesn’t mind, I mean sure he ends up laying on a couple of them, and the do end up getting tangled in his limbs, but he finds it cute and is willing to make a sacrifice, and if he were to come in late from working overtime and caught you sleeping cuddling the doctor teddy bear he gave you....with the eyepatch that he helped make....he wouldn’t want to disturb you... so he pulls up a chair and watches you sleep in the least creepy way possible
If you two are ever trying to do the do and your stuffed animal is In the room... or even better facing towards the bed... I think it would make Julian the slightest bit uncomfortable but would just laugh it off and say something along the lines of “I didn’t know we had and audience” or “looks like we have a guest” which would be terrifying if he were to say that mid-ya know
Portia
You two vibe so hard
Out of everyone I feel like she is definitely the most enthusiastic and chill about having stuffed animals in her cottage, and I mean sure they’re everywhere and she’s tripped on atleast six of them... but as long as pepi doesn’t get too any of them( again) you’re fine
I like to imagine she has something (other than Julian) that survived the ship wreck with her, wether that be a blanket or a stuffed animal (for the sake of this head canon it’s a stuffed animal) that she holds very close to her yes this is very unlikely given, well all the factors but she deserves something, and if your really against that idea, a little stuffed animal Julian gave her when she was a kid before he left
I can’t keep headcanoning that every one has a thing for beanie babies in a modern au, even though she has a snesbian wedding in her garden with a snesbian officiant which she photographs and gets tiktok famous off of.... she’ll be more into anything Sanrio related, like don’t leave this girl alone in round one because she’s already spent 150 trying to win the rilakkuma stuffed animal that’s riiiiight over the edge (after many many try’s, she does win it, and gives it to you)
She is the type to sew, or crochet, or even knit you stuffed animals, and those are usually the ones she ends up giving you, if not? They definitely were handmade from somewhere, probably a small shop or from an old lady selling them at the heart district
If you sleep with stuffed animals....well good news because so does she! Throughout the night not only are you to fighting for the blanket (if it’s during winter) but now you’re fighting over the stuffed animals, and every night as soon as one of you says you’re going to bed, it’s a race to see who can get to bed first and hog all the stuffed animals, (which may lead to a pillow fight if you’re lucky)
One time pepi tore up one of you’re faveroite stuffed animals and Portia felt so bad about it that she not only made pepi her own toys to play with, but sewed up your toes up one, and if it was beyond repair, she would make you an identical one
(Also Portia is the type to spend 100 dollars at a carnival trying to knock the milk bottles down so she can win her s/o a cheap stuffed dog that pepi is gonna claw into anyway...but it’s the thought that counts :’) )
Muriel
Does. Not. Understand. But hey! He’s trying~! A+ for effort right?
He wants to make it clear that it’s NOTHING to do with you, he finds it ADORBALE! He really really does and he’s trying hard to express that but depending where you are in your relationship with him....makes a little bit of a difference, so for the sake of the headcanon muriels headcanon is gonna be soon after his upright endeding so expect some assumptions about his character but I do know that people just don’t change over night so one things for sure....he still doses to fully understands soft nice things
I think Muriel likes to hear you talk, like sure he prefers the quiet, but out of everyone in the world, your the only person he doesn’t mind listening to (how sweet! ) so he probably asks you a lot of questions, but not necessarily like Julian, more questions that ask why you like them, because he wants to like them too, and you want him to like them too, but you do still have some work ahead of you
In a modern au.....build a bear dates @lisa-frank-cave did a headcanon on it a while back that I REALLY liked, it is a little buried so if you’re having trouble finding it lmk and I can reblog it for you, but atleast visits their page and look for it because their stuff is super good! :) so for sure go check out their head canon for it if you want something more in depth but to just elaborate my thoughts on it, it’s just something the two of you could do together (and I feel like Muriel loves spending time with you no matter what activity it is) I also feel like he’d like being able to make something with you, which works out great if you can’t whittle to save you’re life,,,and I dunno,,,it just makes me soft,,,,
I don’t like the head canon that Muriel has bug clumsy hands, he can whittle for gods sake! And used to make masquerade masks for asra to sell pre-plague times, (and made his own in every route but his own) so I feel like Muriel would atleast attempt ONCE to sew or crochet you a stuffed animal, it’s a little tragedy looking, and over time it starts to fall apart at the seams, but he made it for you, and seeing you love it so much let’s him know all his hard work payed off, and he’ll make you another one or two
He doesn’t mind if you sleep with stuffed animals, but he apologizes in advance if they get crushed (the bed is barley big enough for the both of you) and gets a little jealous if you’re cuddling you’re stuffed animal instead of him, he won’t say anything but he’ll for sure get pouty about, and as cute as he is when he’s pouty make sure you don’t cuddle you’re stuffed animals more than him, because if you do it will start to get to him if you know what I mean
Also refuses to have sex if stuffed animals are on the bed or facing the bed, if they’re on the bed, he’ll throw them off, facing the bed, he’ll turn them around, he just doesn’t like the idea of being watching while being intimate with you
Lucio
If I’m being honest will make fun of you a tiny bit at first (he’ll stop he he strikes a nerve) but soon finds the appeal
Mama morga didn’t let him have stuffed animals growing up, for a while there she didn’t even want him sleeping with a blanket, so he’s alllll over this, but yeah you’re stuffed animals are cute, but he wants a spefic type of stuffed animals.... next thing you know Lucio says he got some stuffed animals for you two to share, and it’s just about 30 diffrent variations of goats. But hey! Atleast he offered to share!
In a modern au I feel like lucio would be overly enthusiastic to go to build a bear that he nearly crushes a kid with his knock off red bottoms trying to get in there, dragging you behind him, then impatiently rushes the whole process not making too enjoyable for you (depending on who you are of course) but lucio just seems to be having fun! (Also goes on a Saturday afternoon and they are like four kids celebrating their birthday and a line that goes out the door, unlike Muriel who goes early Sunday morning or Tuesday night to beat the crowds)
He personally likes anything goat related, but also likes custom made ones made with red velvet and and gold stitching, and will happily buy you or get any kind you want customed made, and on you’re birthday? When you wake up in the morning the room is covered with all diffrent typed of stuffed animals, and lucio is beaming proudly in the middle of it
If you sleep with them then no problem! Lucio would too! But if he catches you cuddling a certain stuffed animal more than him then it might just....disappear for a while...but if he sees you upset or worried that you can’t find it, don’t worry! It will reappear again.... or something very similar to it.....
One time Mercedes and Melchior tore up one of you’re favorite stuffed animals (again) so lucio had them kicked out of his bedroom...or so he said, what really happened is while he was waiting for your replacement to come in, he wanted to act all tuff and kick Mercedes and Melchior our to assert his dominance, but secretly still played with them and let them back in you’re room when you weren’t around. You know. But you pretend that you don’t
Thanks for reading if you would like something more spefic welll.....
My request are open! :)
#asra headcanons#asra x reader#julian devorak the arcana#lucio headcanons#muriel headcanons#muriel the arcana#nadia the arcana#portia the arcana#the arcana#the arcana asra#the arcana game#the arcana muriel#the arcana main 6#nadia satrinava#nadia headcanons#julian the arcana#julian devorak#asra alnazar#asra the arcana#ilya devorak#the arcana lucio#lucio the arcana#lucio hcs#portia devorak#the arcana portia#lucio morgason#faust the arcana
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Black Coffee
Hey there friends! It’s been a while hasn’t it? Today i come at you with a new piece for a new My Hero character! Well new to me writing him. Here we have....Villain Deku! Inspired by this tiktok! https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUywn9t/ it just screamed Villain Deku to me. This is my first time writing him, so if he seems a little OOC, that’s probably it. Here are some songs I listened to while writing this 1. headless waltz- Voltaire 2. Don’t go by the river- Voltaire 3.House of Myth, Such horrible things, Gorey Demise, Grave Robber, Greatest Show Unearthed, Aim for the head, Buried Alive- Creature Feature 4. Spooky Halloween Mashup, Syndicate: Underground- Cover by Peter Hollens. Warnings: Robbery, Guns, violence, let me know if theres more I need to tag please! Only edited by me, so I’ve probably missed some stuff! With that! Let’s get into it!
Dawning light streamed in through the windows, the scent of coffee heavy in the air, steam from the hot drink you made rising softly. Soft music flowed through the room, other employees taking the chairs off the tables and whipping them down.
You sipped your drink, your eyes barely staying open as you leaned against the counter. It was far too early to be awake. Pain flashed through your mouth as you reluctantly swallow, your tongue protesting not only being burned but the now cool air that touched it.
It was too early for your own nonsense.
As the sun rose in the sky customers began their daily migration to the bean and leaf juice they all craved. Thankfully it was still rather early, only a handful showing up, and even fewer deciding to take a seat and enjoy their purchases.
“I can help whoever’s next?” you call out, closing the cash register and looking up to the new customer with a bright smile.
Bright viridian eyes stared back into your (e/c) colored ones, ones that you hadn’t seen in a very long time, since middle school in fact, his green hair cementing just who he was. Recognition dawned in his eyes.
“Y/N?” “Midoriya?”
A surprised laugh bubbled up, catching you by surprise, “I haven’t seen you in months- years even!” a short glare from your manager got you ready to enter in his order. Taking a peek behind him you saw that the line had lengthened considerably. “Y-yeah, it has been quite a while hasn’t it?” He stated his order, as you typed it in and gave him the total amount. He must have been pretty tired still as he stared into your eyes. You waved a hand in front of him, snapping him out of his daze as his face flushed a deep red, frantically digging his hand into his pockets to fish out his wallet- where had the damn thing gone- oh it was in his hand already.
Even after all these years, Midoriya was still just as much of a spaz as he’d always been. He moves to the drink pick up location, leaning against the counter as you made his drink. “I wish I had more time to talk, but with the line growing…”
“Well What if I came back later today? Or tomorrow?” You prepped the cup, adding a drizzle of caramel to the sides, offering him a kind smile
“Yeah, I’d like that,”
You handed him his drink and sent him off with a wave. A disgruntled Karen decided to ring the service bell as you hadn’t jumped back to take her order.
Why did it have to be a Karen?
Unfortunately you were unable to see him later on that day.
However, just as you turned the sign from closed to open that next morning, you were surprised to see those same bright eyes aimed at you.
“Well, you’re here quite early” you teased, opening the door for him as you walked in. It would be a while yet before people came into the little shop. He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes looking tired with circles under his eyes, “It’s been a long night,” He laughed off your look of concern, “Just work, nothing too terrible! I just thought I’d swing by earlier before I had to get back to it”
Your coworkers paid no mind as the two of you walked to the counter as you made him and yourself a drink, taking a seat at one of the tables. No one was here and wouldn’t be here for a good half an hour.
“So tell me, how have things been? Is your mom alright?”
“Huh? Oh! Yeah she’s doing fine, still at the same place! She’s retired now actually” “Oh, good for her! I hope she’s enjoying it” you sipped at your coffee, thanking just about everything that you didn’t burn your tongue in front of him.
“But what about you Midoriya? Last I checked you were wanting to become a hero?” While it would have been hard to be a quirkless hero, It wasn’t impossible. It probably wouldn’t get you ranked in the top five or even the top twenty, but so long as you were a good hero, what did rank matter?
His eyes shifted from contentment to something a bit more sad, a deep sadness that surprised you. Just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, a hesitant laugh served as a cover. “Well, I did try, but eventually I just gave up. It just hit me that no matter how much I worked, I’d just be in the way of the pros. I could do some things sure, but...it’s not...it wasn’t enough. So I took a step back and found myself getting into computers, fixing them up, making sure they’re running properly. It’s...It’s nice”
You place a hand over his, an overwhelming urge to comfort him raced down your bloodstream. His hand jolts at the sudden touch, but he doesn’t bat your hand away. “I always believed you’d make an incredible hero” it made you feel guilty that you hadn’t been there for him when he clearly needed someone, anyone even just to listen to as his one and only dream crashed around him.
“I know you did, I appreciate it (Y/N),” he offers you a more content smile, “But I’m happy where I am now, really! Plus if I was a hero, I might not have met up with you again”
You let go of his hand, though not before he gives it a gentle squeeze, picking up your drink and taking another sip.
“I’m glad to see you're happy though, you said you were fixing computers?”
“Yeah! It’s not a big thing really, just a little repair shop. Clients bring me their various electronics, I clean them and fix them up! It can be really challenging sometimes, especially when it’s an older model! I swear I’ve seen some that I could have sworn were from the early nineties!”
You listened as he rattled on about his clients, his eyes lit up, a subtle blush on his cheeks as he talked with his hands. More than once you had to back away from getting a straw to the eye, but you hardly minded.
It became a regular thing, He’d come to the shop at various hours of the day, typically right at opening, on your break, or right as the last customer shifted out the door. You always had his favorite drink ready for him, though you had to fight him to keep him from paying. You didn’t mind after all, paying for his drink. He somehow always managed to sneak in the exact amount into your pockets or purse before he left, leaving you to discover it when he was far and unable to take it back.
The ass.
The more you met up the more open he became, you both talked about work and your grievances there. Now you were talking about anything and everything, TV shows you’d recently watched, movies you were excited to see, stupid stories about Karen's getting owned was a personal favorite.
However His favorite happened to be the news. He was still hero obsessed as he’d always been. However, there was a more...critical insight into it.
“Ugh” he huffed out, turning his attention from the TV, though muted, the subtitles were still on. It was currently showcasing Endeavor, how he rescued some civilians from a collapsing apartment building, from a disgruntled worker who had turned to villainy when kicked out of their apartment. They decided to take revenge on the landlord, though it quickly turned to chaos as the entire complex crumbled.
“What is it?” You paused from chewing on the straw to take a sip, “ is it Endeavor?” You knew damn well it was, but it was better to let him process through his words. “Yes! Look at him, smug as can be. He doesn’t even care about those people he rescued, He’s shown no comfort towards them, not even a glance to the children he’d saved. He acts as if he’s too good for them. A real hero would be reassuring, give a sense of calm to everyone involved in a rather tragic turn of events” he sipped at his drink angrily, nearly choking on it as you patted his back.
“ You mean a hero like All Might?” you offered, knowing that the hero had a special place in his heart.
Instead of the perky response you would have expected, his lips turned to a thin line, staring into a far off place beyond the TV.
“Yes....just like All Might”
Figuring he was still going through the appalled emotions from Endeavor, you didn’t press the matter, turning to focus on something else, his latest client, or even a Karen you had encountered earlier that morning. He took your bait readily, eager to listen.
It took you awhile to notice, but during your lunch breaks, on the days he didn’t come in early, he would always be watching the news. He’d rip them to pieces with a barely concealed snarl. He’d rant and rave, while keeping in mind the other customers. He talked about the villains even, and how they were people as well, forced into unfortunate situations, where were the heroes then?
As much as you would have liked to stay in the hero worshiping normalcy, the more he went on the more you began to realize, heroes were actually rather corrupt. You could feel yourself becoming angry alongside him. Why did they do that? What about the people they were rescuing? What about these so-called villains?
You shook your head from your thoughts, looking down to see your next customer that afternoon, a young girl no more than ten years old just out of school and looking to buy a snack and a small drink.
You sent her off on her merry way, happily sitting down at a table and munching on her snack. Checking your watch, you realized it was time to take your lunch. You sat down at your usual booth and waited for Izuku, sipping at your own drink.
The bell by the door went off, your eyes instinctively looking to see who had entered. Time slowed down as three men came in, guns at the ready and masks pulled over their faces. The first had a black mask, the second having a red one, and the third having a white one.
“Alright! Nobody moves, and no one gets hurt!” the first one shouted, as horrified shrieks went off in the small shop. “Put your hands up and go over there!” he motioned with his gun to collectively gather in a corner. You obeyed along with everyone else in the shop.
The second one aimed his gun steadily at the barista at the register, “No! Not you, you’re going to fill this with all the money you have!” He threw a bag over at the barista who shakily picked up the bag where it had landed, tears running down her cheeks.
The third held out a bag to the gathered group, “ Put anything valuable in here! Watches, Jewelry, Money, Phones, all of it!” He shouted, an elderly woman shakily began taking off her earrings, another gentleman taking his wallet out.
The young girl stared with wide eyes, tears falling rapidly down her cheeks, face red as she tried to be quiet, but her hiccups would not allow her. When red looked over at the little girl, her wails increased tenfold.
“Hey! Shut up before I give you a real reason to cry about. You don’t want that do you?!” he shouted, taking a step forward the girl took an extra step back as she put her arms out in front of her to protect herself.
“I said QUIET!” he raised his hand.
Your body moved on it’s own.
You took the hit for the young girl, your cheek stinging from the impact. That didn’t matter, not over the safety of the little girl, the roar of your heartbeat thumping against your cheek.
“What the hell?!” “Just leave her alone! She’s a little girl, she’s just scared!” You held your arms out, effectively blocking her from view. The elderly woman took the girl to her side, watching for the slightest movement from the robbers.
“ So you want to take her punishment? Is that it brat? Fine,” He shoved you down to the ground easily, glancing over to the young girl, “Take this as an example of what happens when you disobey me!”
You couldn’t hear anything, your sight blinded as well as his foot collided with your stomach, sending you rolling across the ground. He pinned you down as he punched you, over and over again, arms, stomach and your face, seeing stars as your head hit the ground.
Izuku...Izuku please....
You didn’t know what you wanted from him, whether it was to save you from the pain somehow, or to not show up at all in fear he’d try something heroic like you did.
The shop doors burst open, a cloth or tape like substance shooting out from someone you couldn’t see, wrapping quickly around the robbers, dragging them to ram into one another, the shock of it making them let go of the guns they held so tightly onto. You faded in and out of consciousness, even though the sounds of battle continued on.
It was all a blur as you slowly came back into reality, sitting in an ambulance being checked over by a nurse. The other heroes who had arrived stood before you, scolding you for your actions.
“What were you thinking?! You put yourself and the girl at risk! They could have made you watch as they hurt her!”
What was I supposed to do, let her be beaten?
“There were so many other things you could have done! Next time think through your actions before you do anything!”
What could I have done? You fail to mention what else I could exactly do. I didn’t even know what I was doing.
But you didn’t say that. You took the abuse as the nurse began to shoo them off, proclaiming that they’d made their point, nothing more could be said. It wasn’t long before the nurse gave you your results. You were a bit battered but otherwise alright, you’d bruise like hell but you amazingly didn’t have a concussion. Once you were home you were to Ice the bruising spots. With that they sent you with your things back home.
Upon entering your home you changed out of your clothes, something bubbling under your skin. It felt so up close and in your face you couldn’t decipher it. You changed into some incredibly soft shorts and tank top, wincing as you moved to change.
The silence was too much in your apartment, with shaking fingers you called the only person you could.
“(Y/N)?” “Izuku..” something in you snapped as you heard his voice, a sharp gasp turning into a sob. “(Y/N)? What is it, what’s wrong?” “I...Can...can you come over? Please? I...I don’t think I can over the phone” “What? Yeah, Yeah of course, I’ll be right there!” You gave him your address and hung up after that, flopping onto your couch and hugging a pillow.
It only took him twenty minutes to arrive, but it felt like forever and a second simultaneously. The swift knock at your door startled you out of your blank and racing thoughts. He was dressed in casual clothing, some jeans and some random white button up, a thin green vest over top. Your vision blurred as he stepped in at your allowance, going head first into his chest as you sobbed. He grunted from the impact, but wrapped his strong arms around you regardless. “ Shhh, shhh, it’s alright, I’m here. I’m here” he cooed softly into your ear, “ Here, let’s go to the couch alright?” You nodded but didn’t let go. You shuffled your way to sit on the couch with him, only parting to readjust his hold.
“There was an attempted robbery at the shop today,” you sniffed, resting your head on his shoulder, “ There was a little girl there...she was so scared, she was crying. The...one of the robbers got angry at her, which made her more scared. So I...I took the hit for her”
He lifted your face gently, examining the forming bruise. His frown showed his worry, but he didn’t comment on why you ran to this girls side, “ I was wondering about this black eye I see” You nodded, continuing your story, “Yeah...He didn’t like that I’d taken the hit for the girl...so as an example he beat me up. I don’t remember too much after the ‘heroes’ arrived.” you spat.
“But the heroes arrived and saved everyone, that’s good right?” he prodded. If you had been more aware, you would have heard the underlying tone in his voice. He didn’t really believe the heroes had done well, not with how you spat their name as if it was venom.
“They told me i was stupid for putting myself in front of the girl, that I should have done something else! What else was I supposed to do? My body moved on it’s own! They could have tortured the girl to get a rise out of me, or hurt the both of us…” As you said those words, another sob tore from your core. “Maybe they were right, maybe I should have just...I don’t know. I’m so sorry I didn’t think of anything faster.”
Izuku cut you off gently cupping your face in his hands, thumbs softly brushing away stray tears. Your eyes refused to meet his.
“Oh darling, look at me,” hesitantly you looked into his eyes, filled with concern, determination and...something else you couldn’t quite place, but it was so soft...so powerful. “You’ve done nothing wrong, you are perfect darling. Without you, that girl could have ended up beaten, or worse!”
The endearment was new, but not unwelcome, his words wrapping you in a soft blanket of safety.
“You did nothing wrong, you are perfect, everything about you, you’ve done nothing wrong. So please, don’t apologize” You leaned forward to hide in his chest as his words brought a fresh wave of tears. He gently rubbed your back, taking care if you so much as winced to move his comforting circles.
“It isn’t right that they lectured you. You had just gone through a traumatic event, you needed reassurance, kindness. You aren’t trained to be a hero, you acted on instinct. An instinct that hardly anyone else in that room had. They acted so wrong to you” he whispered, “Those ‘heroes’ are what's wrong with the hero society as a whole. Things need to change”
“But I don’t know how to do that, or where to even start” you whined, your hiccups slowly dispersing.
“Join me”
Wait...what?
“Join you...I don’t...I don’t understand…” You look up at him, searching for any hint that it was a badly timed joke. You found none.
“When I told you I worked with computers....I wasn’t lying, but only technically. You see, I work with this group, as a hacker. We’re going to show the world what these heroes really are, and the need to fix them. The roaches will have nowhere to hide, not from the public, and certainly not by the hero commission”
That was...quite a bit to process. He was a Villain?! All this time?!
You were shocked, your heart sinking to your stomach. “Why...why didn’t you tell me?” You knew why the second you said the words...but you needed to hear if those were the same words he’d say back.
“If I’m being honest darling...I was scared. You were always so kind, so soft hearted, to learn you were talking with a villain? Plus, it wasn’t like I could just...tell you in the shop right?” the corner of his mouth lifted up into a slight smirk, though it quickly vanished.
You thought back to today, how angry the heroes had made you. How many others did they tell the same thing when they were just trying to help? How many children paid the price? How many people?
But the feeling of fists landing on you echoed back in your rapidly increasing heartbeat. You couldn’t do that again, not against a villain, not against heroes, not against anyone!
“I...I’m not cut out for villain work Izuku, you see what happened to me! I...I couldn’t go through that again...I don’t want to go through that again”
He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, warmth blossoming from the spot. “You don’t have to, just...supporting me is enough, more than enough” he took your hands in his, gentle circles rubbed into them. “You wouldn’t have to quit your job, or move, or anything, just knowing you support me? It fires me up, I have to do this, for you, for everyone, to right the wrongs that have been done. What do you say?” his green eyes were lit up in hope.
Your hands squeezed his, “I do.”
#my hero academia#bnha#my hero academia Izuku Midoriya#bnha izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#izuku x reader#izuku#izuku midoriya x you#bnha reader insert#bnha reader#villain deku#villain izuku#reader insert#maemiwritesBNHA
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* . desirée lindbergh was spotted in the fashion district adorning prada platform chelsea boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to you know i'm no good by amy winehouse . you may know them as @desi or as that aisha potter lookalike . their twenty first birthday just passed . while living in the upper east side , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be duplicitous but on the other hand reliable . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cis female / she/her + c / 21+ / she/her ) .
hey !!!!!! i was planning on coming thru with a cool intro to establish myself as a ~ cool ~ person , but covid has absolutely ✨ decimated ✨ my social skills so ,,,,,,, this is what im left with . anywho hi i’m c ( short for clown tbfh ) , im 21+ , from the rainy ole’ pnw , & i use she / her pronouns . i was in wealthy like , , , , AGES ago & tbh i’ve been missing it real bad lately so here i am with a brand new bitch , , , , , ms . desi lindbergh 🖤 i just finished reading the girl with the dragon tattoo so you’ll find elements from that novel in my biography like the names , & the general ‘ company comes first ‘ & ‘ no one gets a divorce in this family ’ attitudes . but hennyway here’s a pinterest board , & my discord is 𝐌 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁#1264 ( the best tiktok song imo ) . my bio is rambly but there are stats at the top , personality & wanted connections ( inc . this sideblog w wanted plots ) at the bottom ! xoxo
* . stats .
full name : desirée ‘ desi ’ charlotte lindbergh - montenegro
age : twenty - two
gender : cis female
pronouns : she / her
pob ; current home : london , england ; current residence in tribeca .
family : henrik lindbergh ( 80 , deceased , ceo of lindbergh corporation ) ; miriam montenegro ( 46 , lives in the upper east side & london , supermodel turned vindictive widow ) ; no siblings or pets .
birthday : september 2 , 1998 ; virgo sun , taurus moon , cancer rising .
career : heiress / model / daddy’s credit card swiper .
drinking / drugs / smoking : yes / no / occasionally .
physical : aisha potter fc , dark brown mid - length hair , dark brown eyes , no tattoos , two ear lobe piercings in each ear , 5 ′ 6 ″ .
* . character biography .
1998 : miriam montenegro , an english model coming from a humble background , made it big when she was scouted for runway shows , eventually making her way to being a household name . by the age of twenty five , she’d found love ( or , financial comfort , rather ) with the fifty nine year old henrik lindbergh , a swedish business magnate whose involvement in global industrialization spanned far wider than the european economy . the relationship took the world by surprise , miriam’s friends being far more involved in pop culture than an aged man . while she claims it was love , the world had already made up its mind on her motive — money .
the pair got married six months after they initially became involved , & desi was born a year after . her father , the product of the ‘ silent generation ‘ , was of the impression that children should be seen , not heard , an outdated idea that her mother was comfortable abiding by . desirée , by association , quickly became accustomed to the spotlight , the interest in the uncommon relationship between miriam & henrik only growing after the birth of their sole child . desi grew up a prop , a toy for her mother to dress up in matching outfits & parade on the global stage , before stepping behind closed doors & forgetting about the child entirely . this led to desi being raised almost exclusively by nannies , her mother more interested in savouring the last of her youth & her father too busy with his international duties . originally based in london , the family moved to new york when desirée was starting her schooling to be closer to the hustle & bustle of american life .
2017 : desirée is graduating high school a year early after having been sent to institut auf dem rosenberg , a swiss private school that prides itself on being highly exclusive∫ˆ highly expensive . the name was a selling point for her father , but more importantly she would be safe & out of the way on another continent while her parents bickered ceaselessly . desirée found herself to be nothing special at rosenberg , her identity having been formed on the idea that public exposure equated to popularity ; without the constant public eye while at school , desi found a freedom & lightness she hadn’t before experienced . she could be real , & have real friends , & not be putting on a fake smile to allude an air of comfort . most of all , she could get away from her spiteful mother , who , once desi hit puberty , saw her as a threat to her own beauty , success , & public popularity . being sent to private school was the best thing to happen to desi & her mother’s relationship .
after graduating , desirée moved back to new york city , moving back into the expansive upper east side apartment , & being sure to move into a room on the opposite side of the home from her parents . being thrust back into the spotlight , a ‘ homecoming ‘ of sorts that her mother capitalized on , desi fell into a depression . she feared leaving the house , she feared that people would only want to be her friend in order to access the family’s wealth ( a seed of an idea planted in her father at the age of twelve , when she was told there was to be no dating unless their family’s net worth was over 500 million ) . soon enough , though , desi made the choice to get in contact with her mother’s rival modeling agency , inquiring about the possibility about modeling . they , of course , welcomed the legacy with open arms ; her mother , however , decided that this deceipt would not be tolerated under her roof , & kicked desi out as soon as she’d heard . desi called her father crying , explaining the situation over the phone , who immediately created a separate bank account of her own for desi , secretly hidden away in an overseas bank to avoid her mother finding out . the account held far more than desirée needed , but it was her father who enabled her to get back on her feet , find her own home , & start a career for herself .
2020 : desirée hardly speaks to her mother , though they keep up the public illusion that they are as close as a mother - daughter duo can be . her father though , now 80 years old , was actually close with desi , the two catching up daily & him celebrating her accomplishments she believed were self - earned . in october , though , she received a phone call from her father’s attorney , mr. berger , who informed her that henrik was in the hospital in critical condition after a heart attack . she flew to stockholm , where her father had been taking care of business items , & realized that it was time to say her goodbyes . her father & her played chess , talked about her childhood , & reconciled on any old issues . he passed away three days after she’d arrived . seeming as if he’d been able to tell something horrible was coming , henrik had updated his will a matter of weeks before the heart attack , naming desiree as the sole inheritor of all his assets & belongings . except , of course , her mother , who inherited a whopping five dollars from her husband . this was , mr . berger explained to desi , so that miriam could not claim that she had accidentally been left out , & was entitled to more of his estate .
if this wasn’t enough , the press soon released that interntional business mogul henrik lindbergh had passed away , & the companies he owned were now owned by a twenty one year old model who had never truly worked one day in her life . to make matters worse , her mother quickly played the victim , launching a multitude of lawsuits against her own daughter for defamation & coercing her father to leave her mother out of it . berger quickly chose desirée’s side , though he couldn’t become her personal attorney out of conflict of interest with the executing of the will . as the accounts lie in limbo during the legal battle , desi is relying solely on the secret account her father made her in switzerland ; if her mother knew , she would try to go after it , as well .
2021 : desirée has layed low over the last few months , her mother continuing her public display of heartache as the widow . desi can be said to be two - faced due to her sweet disposition one day & her cold attitude the next . in reality , she is normally kind & thoughtful , giving the benefit of the doubt to those two wrong her , but lately she has become more withdrawn , secretive , & volatile . she was recently photographed in a restaurant , crying on the phone with her head in her hand , something she would never normally allow to happen . overall , though , she doesn't want to speak publicly about the legal battle because she considers it a delicate matter & wants to take the high road . because of this , she puts on a face that she's happy , has done her mourning , & intentionally does things to make it seem like life is normal , like making appearances at events about new york city & being spotted hanging out with friends . only a very small handful in her inner circle notice the immense stress she's under because she's good at managing it , & doesn't want to be pitied .
* . personality .
personality wise , she is quite bubbly , thoughtful , dependable , observant , calm , & chooses her words carefully . on the other hand , she can be very hot & cold , self - isolating , two - faced , & tells blatant lies when she ought not to , & denies vehemently when others call her on her bs . she’s the type to remember someone saying they like something , in passing , then suddenly she shows up with that exact thing when she sees them next . her love language is definitely gifts & acts of service . considers herself a good advice giver but won’t take any advice others give her . kind of an air head , in that she can get so wrapped up in her own world that she forgets that others aren’t just npc’s in her life sfjklsd . can get overwhelmed easily , & retracts back into herself & isolates in her apartment for days on end , pampering herself with huge shopping sprees , overpriced face masks , & too much champagne . her way to deal with problems is to pretend they’re not there until eventually they go away 🤡
the world knows the bulk of the lindbergh - montenegro affair , as its known in the media , thanks to her mother taking interviews left & right to allude to her being snubbed by her own daughter . desi pretends that it does not bother her , that justice will be served & that legality will prevail over her mother’s cries , but the weight of the affair is taking a toll on her .
* . wanted plots .
click here for sideblog with wanted plots !
best friend / ride or die : someone desi’s been friends with for YEARS , knows all her family’s bs , prob has called her mother a b*tch to her face dflkjsdkl . literally the nicole to her paris , the lorelai to her rory .
squad : a group of friends who go clubbing every saturday & get brunch & gossip the next morning , have shady nicknames in their gc , have designated ‘ roles ’ in the friend group ( mom friend , the cr*ckhead , the wingperson , etc . ) , go on trips together , have the wildest birthday parties , etc . please !!
first love : this would’ve been in their teens , a summer fling that she fell hard for & who her father didn’t approve of bc he’s business - minded first . they tried to do long distance when she went back to school in the fall , but it didn’t work out & now they’re either on good terms & have sweet memories of that time , or one is still kinda salty how things ended .
bad influence : encourages desi to get the stick out of her *ss , & when she hangs out with them , they tend to go overboard on whatever the entertainment of the night may be .
friends to lovers / slow - burn romance : they’re friends first , but there’s been undeniable romantic tension between the two of them ( imagine pope towards kiara in obx ) , & their friends can pick up on it . they’ve never acted on it , worried of ruining the friendship , but they’re always a lil disappointed when the other goes home with or gets involved with someone else , but are ultimately there to pick up the pieces afterwards .
enemies / mutual dislike : maybe someone whose family her father screwed in business , their parents could have been friends before desi’s mom turned on them somehow , they think desi thinks she’s queen of the world , etc . let’s plan it out hehe
cheating : oop ! i love the angst , so gimme someone who either a ) cheated on desi , or b ) they think she cheated on them due to some tabloid article , rumor around town she was seen with someone , etc . their relationship was prob rocky as fuck , toxic , & lacked trust & communication . just a total shit show tbh .
that’s all i can think of now dskljfkl please feel free to reach out over tumblr msgs or on discord !
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learn to do it (chapter 3)
summary: princess diaries but make it norway and kristanna
rating: T
word count: 2.4k
a/n: updates will hopefully be more regular now my exams are over! got over a road block with this chapter so yay :-D
The hot tears rushing down Anna’s face were not helping the side eyes she was getting from people rushing to whatever fancy corporate job they had. Only side eyes though, not full on stares because this was New York and a woman in her early twenties with skinned knees sobbing in front of a Chase Bank was not the weirdest thing they would see today.
Anna had no idea how long she had even been there for, 20 minutes or two hours, she couldn’t tell you. But, when her phone buzzed she saw that she had only been making a fool of herself for about 10 minutes, which was good news considering the situation.
The notification was from Kristoff, asking when she wanted to go on their date. On any other day, this would be the most surreal thing to happen to her. But Anna wasn’t quite sure where first date with crush landed on a scale that included crown princess of a small European country. In her book, she might have felt a tad selfish, but first date with crush was a close second for her.
Pulling herself off the musty concrete, Anna wobbled towards the subway station. She wondered how she should respond to Kristoff now knowing this new information about her life. Would she even be allowed to date? Would she have to tell him? Wait, why am I letting myself go this far?! I don’t even know if I’ll take the offer or not. I can barely wake up in the morning, I’m not sure how good I would be at running an entire country.
She decided to text back once she got home and sorted out her thoughts, because no good decisions come from stumbling on the subway in heels, sober or otherwise.
After arriving home, Olaf was planning a lesson on the coffee table. Anna hated to interrupt him working, but if she wasn’t careful then she would end up having a musical made about her and Olaf would have to tell a group of middle schoolers that he knew her way back when.
His face lit up when the door opened, but quickly fell into worry once he saw her appearance. “Anna? What happened?”
“You are never ever going to believe me, and I don’t even know if I can tell you,” Anna sighed as she plopped on their couch.
“What? Is the Arendellian mob associated with the queen? Cause that’s what looks like happened to you,” he let out a slight chuckle. She shot him a cold look and he fixed his tone. “Sorry, wasn’t funny. What happened?”
If they dropped all of that on me in less than an hour, I think I can tell one person. “Okay I’ll tell you. But you might want to get comfortable.”
After telling him everything, from the skinned knees to the sobbing in front of a Chase, Olaf looked like a deer in headlights. Anna could see on his face that he was trying to process everything. After a moment of silence, he spoke again.
“I was wondering why that guy was at our door again.”
“That’s all y- Wait. Who? Mattias?”
“Yeah, him. He came about 10 minutes after you left with a car for you.”
“You have got to be kidding me,” Anna let out a long, shaky breath. “Olaf what am I gonna do?”
“Well,” he scooted closer to her on the couch, pulling her close. “Whatever you choose, just know I will be here for you.”
Anna sighed and leaned into him. “Thank you, and if I do become queen-”
They locked eyes as she said that. The pair of best friends let out the most hysterical laughs that were so loud the Brooklyn Bridge shook.
“Life is random and unfair,” Olaf let out between laughs, “some get nothing-”
“And some randomly become royalty!” Anna fell off the couch, clutching her stomach. The laughing fit was slowly chasing the reality of the situation. The monarchy- and Kritsoff’s text message.
**********************************
When Anna was done showering, she sat in her towel on her bed wondering if it was even worth it to go to work. She still had no clue what she was going to do or of Arendelle’s ability to finance her so-called boujee Brooklyn walk up, but everything does tend to have a new pointless feeling after your whole life changing in under half an hour.
After a mild existential crisis and consequently dancing to Doja Cat to feel better, Anna headed to work. Since she had the meeting so early with the queen- which did not feel like a real thought to her- Anna surprisingly did not have to rush to work and even had extra time to do a winged liner.
She was even ten minutes early. This will make Kristoff very happy. Oh sh- I forgot to text him back. Just as Anna thought that, she had caught his eye on her way to the back. She stopped and walked over to his prep station to talk to him.
*********************************
Kristoff was never good at texting girls. He never understood the emojis or the TikToks they sent, and he always ended up having bad text etiquette in the end. To him, it was a blessing in disguise because it was very easy to realize which girls he really liked and which he did not.
He never thought about it being the other way around, though. Sure, he had only texted Anna a few hours earlier but if he learned one thing from his few and far between misadventures in texting girls, it was that texting back fast was important.
All morning he tried not to pay attention to it. Sure she had said yes, but to him Anna actually going through with a date seemed like something else entirely. He even went into work early to think about cutting strawberries for the lunch rush instead of Anna.
But after doing so, Kristoff had come to the realization that coming into work early to not think about Anna was nothing out of the ordinary for him.
Well, realized might not be the right word. It was more like Sven-made-a-joke-about-it-now-so-it's-painfully-obvious. That’s what realizing meant to Kristoff sometimes.
Sven had clapped a hand on his shoulder, “Got some Anna on the brain?”
Nonetheless, Kristoff knew now that even coming to work wouldn’t kick this girl from living rent free in his mind. Not only because she worked there, but the smallest things reminded him of her. When he would get that day’s special menu and see anything involving chocolate, he thought of how obsessed Anna was with it, and that maybe he should save her some. (He always did.) Or when putting ground pepper to finish off a plate, he would think about how her freckles were arbitrarily placed but still looked perfect. Or when he was cutting strawberries, how he would describe them as red, but also would describe her hair as red, which never made sense to him. Interrupting that last thought, he caught her eye just as she came in.
With a smile that seemed to be a tad faltered, Anna walked through the kitchen. She waved at other chefs and chippered hello. As she approached him, he felt himself get those damn butterflies in his stomach.
“Ten minutes early? It’s like you’re trying to impress me with punctuality,” Kristoff chuckled, trying to come off as cool as possible.
“Well, I figure I have better traits to show off than that,” Anna smirked slightly.
With bright pink cheeks, Kristoff cleared his throat. “Uhm, did you get my text? About, y’know...”
Anna’s eyes widened but she quickly composed herself. “I did. I came to say sorry for not texting back sooner.”
“I don’t mind, I’m not great at texting back, so it’s no biggie,” Kristoff gave her a reassuring smile. Biggie? That is not a real word, Kristoff thought.
“Oh, But I still want to go out! I still really really do. Some people just like when people text back quickly and I didn’t know if you were one of those people-” she rambled slightly.
“Anna,” His voice was high so he cleared his throat again. “It’s completely fine. When should we...?”
“How about tonight? Is that okay? Not too soon or anything?” Anna assumed that today could not be any crazier, so now seemed like as good a time as any to go on a date with a cute boy she really likes to get her mind off of everything.
“Not too soon. Tonight is great, Anna.” Kristoff smiled down at her.
“Can’t wait.” Anna got up on what seemed like her tippy toes and kissed his cheek. None of the other people working in the kitchen seemed to notice, except Sven, who gave him a shit eating grin and two thumbs up.
*************************
Both of their shifts seemed to last much longer than normal. Anna avoided looking at the clock by telling herself more time would pass if she didn’t peek and Kristoff’s orders seemed to trickle in slower than normal despite the packed house. But finally, the last stragglers finally left for the evening and Anna started to get sweaty. She already was since the minute Kristoff agreed for their first date to be tonight. It did give her something else to focus on besides the whole crown princess thing.
After both of them cleaned up from the busy and never ending never ending night, they met by the door to see where the New York summer night would take them.
“Anna,” Kristoff gave her a big smile that made her heart flutter, “you ready?”
“More than ready, Kris,” Anna copied him by saying his name. They walked out of the restaurant doors and onto the sidewalk which was golden from the sunset.
“What do you want to do?” Kristoff asked, as he realized they did not have a destination.
Anna stopped in her tracks, “Are you a burger kind of guy?”
“I am actually.” Kristoff had tried to think of something witty to say to impress her, but came up dry.
“Can we get burgers then? I have had a burger dinner kind of day,” Anna joked and looked up at him shyly.
“Sounds good to me. I know a great place.” He gave her a side smile as she nodded up at him. Silence fell over them as they walked. After a few moments, curiosity got the best of Kristoff. “What made this a burger kind of day? And.. What does that mean? Sorry, I don’t keep up with the trends much.” He had flushed slightly.
Looking up at him, Anna explained, “Oh, that’s because it’s not a trend. It’s something me and my best friend Olaf say. A ��burger kind of day’ is when you have an insane day and want nothing more than to eat all of your daily recommended calories in one sitting.”
Kristoff laughed, and the redhead was proud of herself. “What made today feel like that?”
Anna paused, thinking about if the first date was the right time to tell someone you are an heir to a European throne. “If I could tell you all the little details, I would. Safe to say my life will never be the same again.”
“Oh, in that case, it definitely sounds like a burger kind of day. And, no pressure to tell me Anna. The last thing I would want to do is pressure you to do something you don’t want to.” He looked down at her with another lopsided smile.
“Thank you,” she gave him the most genuine smile he had seen from her that day. He felt content that he was able to do that. “And don’t worry about not being good at internet slang. I’ll be sure to translate for you, grandpa.”
“Hey!” he chuckled, “I am not a grandpa!”
“Those glasses you use to read the menu say differently, my dear Christopher.”
“My name is not Christopher and you know it,” he elbowed her lightly, feeling more comfortable now.
Anna stumbled backway dramatically with a deep inhale, “Ah! And, I know, but Kristoff isn’t really a grandpa name. Christopher is.”
Kristoff steadied her without an issue and they both grinned. “So if you were a grandma your name would be… Annabelle Marie?”
“Something of the sorts, yeah.”
*************************
Anna had not felt that at peace in awhile. Even before her life was blown up only hours prior. Kristoff was such a nice person and was nothing but kind and respectful. Anna had decided she would tell him about the queen and everything once she decided what she was going to do. Which, for her in this moment, felt like a no if she would have to stop this.
The burger place they went to was a hole in the wall without seating, so they walked to a park and ate in the grass. Honestly, it was the most romantic date Anna had ever been on.
Kristoff never felt luckier. This was going way better than he thought it would. She laughed at his jokes, and he told her almost all the funny stories he could think of to get her to laugh.
For both of them, even though it was only date one, it felt so right.
At her doorstep, after walking her all the way home, Kristoff gave her a full smile. “Anna, I had such an amazing time tonight.”
“I super did too. I mean really!” Anna exclaimed as she flumbled her words from a sudden resurgence of nerves. “Can we do it again?”
Kristoff laughed. “You don’t even have to ask.”
They both stood under the warm light of the entrance to her building. Kristoff was doing the thing where guys keep looking at a girls lips, pondering on what to do next. Making the decision for him, Anna got on her tiptoes, slid her hand around his neck and kissed him softly. He put his hands around her waist to pull her closer, deepening the kiss.
After a moment, they stepped away with big smiles on their faces.
“Goodnight, Kris,” Anna beamed as she walked into her building.
Still on the front step, Kristoff touched his mouth in a slight state of shock. He went back to his apartment with a whole new air.
#finally oh my gosh#ltdi#my fics!#kristanna#kristanna fanfic#frozen 2 spoliers#frozen fanfic#kristoff#anna
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so now that i’m no longer in the Hell that was school and after finding the lovely blog @endcringe i’ve decided to talk about my own experiences with cringe culture, bullying, and why it’s Really Bad to not let people enjoy inherently harmless things, especially neurodivergent people (read more because this is gonna get long and triggering at times, TW for mentions of bullying, suicide, child abuse, a brief mention of incest shipping. I won’t be naming any of the peers that I discuss my experiences with, because my point with this post is Not to “cancel” anyone, I just want to speak out on my experiences)
I’m neurodivergent; I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 years old. I didn’t know a lot about it, and a family member even painted it as “oh it’s nothing blah blah blah just apply yourself more. Because of this, I had no idea about the concept of hyperfixations until I was in my late teens. Due to that, I would obsess over random things and my family would shame me relentlessly for it. My mother said I had an “addictive personality” and that she feared I’d end up a drug addict or alcoholic because of it.
I look younger than what I am, I’m short, and small. AKA, the perfect candidate for being picked on by people bigger and stronger than me. People made fun of my art when I was around 13, but fortunately that was an instance where spite fueled me to improve drastically. However, just because I happened to take the shitty comments and have it fuel me then does NOT mean bullying people will have that effect all the time. At some point someone put my old South Park fan art on a cringe blog. I was temporarily hurt, and a little angry, but I realized that if someone was making fun of a 15 year old’s art, they probably didn’t have much going for them in life, so I moved on.
Fast forward to high school. Everything was horrible and I’m not exaggerating when I say I barely made it out alive. I was living in an abusive household up until January 2018 and I found comfort in many different interests. I’ve always found great comfort in music and the arts in general. In 2016, I drew a picture of a mermaid. I was inspired by the chocolate opal gemstone, and I thought it’d be fun to draw a gay chubby mermaid with dark skin and a rainbow tail and freckles. Junior year was lousy and I wanted something that sparked Joy. I was immediately told that “scientifically, mermaids wouldn’t look like that. Mind you, my take looked like this:
Obviously I wasn’t going for realism, I just wanted to draw a cute mermaid. However, they continued to tell me that they wouldn’t look like that, going as far as writing so on the back of said drawing. When I got angry at her for taking it too far (as I’d established before that I didn’t like it when people wrote on my art without permission), they got angry back, accusing me of being unable to take criticism. Heated by the accusation, I went as far as asking my art teacher if it was fair for them to say that, and she said no, stating that constructive criticism would be talking about how I could improve my lineart and coloring in the digital version. I took her actual helpful criticism and since then have improved Drastically in digital art. Even with that being said, I found myself hesitant to participate in things such as MerMay because I was leery of hearing that peer berate me for having cartoony mermaids.
During high school I grew to love many musicians, a lot of emo/alternative stuff, a couple being Twenty One Pilots and Melanie Martinez. I love how unique TOP’s style is, their open discussion of mental illness, and as someone who had a rough childhood, I connected with every single song on Cry Baby. It was like nothing I’d ever heard. I started listening to mashups featuring all these different artists I love, adoring how they could change the tone and sound so drastically. A peer Bully of mine in junior year condemned these two artists, declaring that they made “Bad Music” simply because it didn’t fit their tastes. They’d throw my drawings on the ground, write over them in pen, steal my headphones so I couldn’t listen to music, push me around, complain that mashups sucked and gave them a headache, and in general shit all over conetnt that was actively preventing me from committing suicide.
Some family members were no better. Once high school hit, I began listening to Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and My Chemical Romance. Their deep complex lyrics stuck with me. I would write down quotes from my favorite songs and thanks to hyperfixating, I remember each studio album in order My mother resented when I fell in love with the “Emo Trinity” because “the Columbine shooters were emo and that event traumatized me” Despite that, not only did the Columbine tragedy occur in 1999 and none of the bands got together until the early 2000s, but I have a pretty good feeling those groups aren’t For gun violence. The other side constantly criticized the fact that I love FOB, P!ATD, and MCR because I’m black and “why must you listen to that white people music.”
I grew fond of Dan and Phil in high school (and I’m still a fan to this day!), I loved Phil’s kindness and positive aura and I deeply connect with Dan’s sense of humor and personality. Their content made me happy during some very dark times in my life. It’s November 2017, I’m over a close peer’s house at the time, and notice PINOF is upon us. I drew the PINOF whiskers on my face, my plan being to quietly watch them in the corner of peer’s bedroom on my phone through headphones, the others were doing their own thing and I knew they didn’t like them, so I thought they’d respect it if I silently indulged in it. Unfortunately, the complete opposite happened. I was immediately shunned and locked out of the bedroom, told that I’d only be let back in if I washed the whiskers off because “absolutely not”. Me, being stubborn, washed them off temporarily but drew them back on in the room. Life during then was especially bad for me, as the abusive household I was in was getting worse. They noticed, of course, and even though all I wanted was to enjoy this small tradition in a time during a deep depression, I was immediately shoved out the room and locked out, only to have said peer’s family members notice. I’m a relatively shy person, so this was honesty a really harrowing experience that had a lasting effect on me.
I grew to adore Sanders Sides as well, but the moment I found out most of my peers didn’t like Thomas, I was terrified. I stopped watching Dan and Phil’s content for months and shied away from other fandoms too, only occasionally indulging in times of complete solitude. One time when said peers were due to visit my house for the first time, I saw the Phandom and Fander stuff I’d hung up on my wall in my little sanctuary that was my bedroom (it was the first time in years I’d had my own room), and I was filled with panic and fear. I took them down and hid them away, genuinely terrified of what they’d do to me if they saw. It’s still incites so much anger in me to this day because they turned around and ended up shipping incest, but somehow liking D&P and Sanders Sides was So. Much. Worse.
They were baffled by my actions, despite having humiliated me Twice by going on a private blog of mine separate from everything so that I could fully indulge and laughing at everything on there, once at a peer’s house, once right in school. I don’t think they realized how traumatizing it was to have a large group of people in public laughing at something I was deeply self conscious about for all of my life. I put on a brave face at the time, but ended up crying in the bathroom after first period began. I continued to be treated as lesser until things came to an ugly head August 2018 when I ended up in the hospital because I nearly attempted suicide. Years of child abuse, bullying, and being deemed “cringy” made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be alive, that everyone would be happier if I were gone.
After arguably one of the lowest points in my life, I cut them off and slowly began to embrace the Real Me. I started letting myself enjoy the things again, made true friends and even found love, my first boyfriend ever at 18. I still get choked up retelling it, but when PINOF 10 dropped, after he found out how much I’d been hurt over the incident in 2017, I was greeted with a photo of him with the whiskers on his face. I cried for a while, blown away at such a pure act of kindness. He listens to me ramble about my interests, he compliments my taste in music, he watched K-12 with me.
This got incredibly long, but my point is this: Cringe Culture hurts people. You might think it’s whatever if the Thing doesn’t apply to your interests, but content you’re denouncing as cringy could be something that’s keeping them alive, that one flicker of light in a void of darkness. When I was contemplating suicide, I listened to The Black Parade, repeating Gee’s words to myself over and over, that nothing in the world was worth hurting yourself over. Some friendly joshing here and there is okay, but actively ripping someone to shreds constantly to the point where they have a mental breakdown in front of you and later on plan their own demise is disgusting. Nobody should abuse anyone for having harmless interests, no one. Unless you’re participating in p*dophilic/inc*st/s*xual assault/inherently abusive ships/content and pretending it’s not bad because “Fiction doesn’t impact reality!”, you have every right to like what you like and be happy. Read homestuck. Play Undertale. Draw up the Wildest OCs you can imagine. And stay away from people who try to rob you of innocent fun, life is too short and in this cruel, unforgiving world, you deserve to be happy, whether you’re a 13 year old who draws cute furries, a 16 year old cosplayer on TikTok, a VSCO girl, a 30 year old who writes/draws self insert art or a 20 year old who adores Invader Zim.
Cringe Culture is just bullying under a different name, and it can lead to many instances of people, especially fellow neurodivergent folk to feel isolated and ostracized. Attempting to bully someone out of an interest they have isn’t going to fix them; it’s more often than not going to cause more damage. I suffer from diagnosed C-PTSD, anxiety, and depression, and sometimes I still find myself trying to over-justify my interests. To all who are roped up in bad homes and lousy “friends” who berate you for your innocent passions, I’m sorry you’re suffering, things will one day get better even if it doesn’t feel like it, and fuck those people. I’d also like to note that sometimes even if it seems more terrifying, it’s better to have one or two close friends you can truly trust than a whole group that walks all over you. You have every right to call them out for treating you poorly, and if things don’t improve, you also have every right to leave.
You have a right to live your True Self.
#cringe culture#anti cringe culture#neurodivergent#actually adhd#long post#very long post#bullying#tw abuse#stay woke#tagging the fandoms I'm in bc i feel like they'll enjoy this message#phandom#dan and phil#melanie martinez#fall out boy#.txt#my chemical romance#Panic! at the Disco#disneyfan talks#actually neurodivergent#actuallyadhd#actually ptsd#cptsd#this became an essay oops#positivity
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Let the ‘OK Boomer’ Girl Live
If you know about Neekolul, you probably already know how you feel about her. Like so many objects of male attention before her, her mere presence as a human being will either cause you to simp or to shun. But she's just followed a formula that's been thrust upon young, attractive women since men have been able to gawk at them.
Neekolul, whose first name is Nicole, rose to popularity through a single TikTok video. In it, she's dancing to a song by YouTuber Senzawa called, "OK, Boomer." She smiles, winks and dances at the camera, lip syncing along, "Whatever you say, Boomer." Her tweet of this video was retweeted 20,000, and has more than 100,000. Wearing a Bernie Sanders shirt she's cut into a crop top, she is at once adorable and a little sleazy. She knows what bag she's chasing—horny lefties—and she is not hiding it. It doesn't seem insincere or anything, just a little craven, in the way that watching anyone try to turn themself into a brand feels craven.
Since Neekolul released this TikTok, I have not known peace. If it isn't straight men getting a little too horny for a girl in her early twenties in public, it's (usually straight) women questioning her motivations. Like a lot of women who try to earn some money by being young and attractive, in Neekolul's videos, she's acting in a way that is immediately recognizable and a little bit annoying. Some of her critics say that by wearing a cosplay school uniform, dancing, and talking like a sexy baby, she is reinforcing negative stereotypes about women and encouraging men attracted to women to indulge in a fetish for seeing them infantilized.
That is a lot to place at the feet of a single 22-year-old girl. If she wants to take money from people with a stupid fetish, I say that a fool and their money are soon parted. Neekolul did not invent the dynamics at play here.
*
A 1999 Rolling Stone Britney Spears cover story caused a recurrence of the age-old epidemic of being too horny. "Britney Spears extends a honeyed thigh across the length of the sofa, keeping one foot on the floor as she does so," it begins. "Her blond-streaked hair is piled high, exposing two little diamond earrings on each ear lobe; her face is fully made-up, down to carefully applied lip liner. The Baby Phat logo of Spears’ pink T-shirt is distended by her ample chest, and her silky white shorts—with dark blue piping—cling snugly to her hips. She cocks her head and smiles receptively."
At the time, Spears was 18 years old. On the cover of the issue, she's laying on her back on pink satin sheets, her pajama top open, a purple Teletubby plush nestled under her arm. The cover story then states outright the central scandal of the then-teenage Spears: people thought the "Baby One More Time" video was too sexy, that her body is too sexy, that she is too young to be looking like that. Not long after that, the author pointedly mentions that Spears only has an eleventh grade education.
Spears stardom, and her treatment by the press and society at large, followed on a familiar model of female stardom. Before her, Marilyn Monroe was sexualized and infantilized. After Spears, Neekolul has leaned into the schtick.
In John Berger's seminal art history book Ways of Seeing, he dedicates an entire chapter to the presence of women as figures in paintings. He argues that women in art are often also a canvas for the men who paint them to project their feelings about women onto.
"The mirror was often used [in the Renaissance] as a symbol of the vanity of woman. The moralizing, however, was mostly hypocritical," Berger writes. "You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, you put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting
Vanity, thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for your own pleasure. The real function of the mirror was otherwise. It was to make the woman connive in treating herself as, first and foremost, a sight."
There is nothing Spears could have done to stop looking like that, or being looked at like that. The same is true for Neekolul. The same is true for every woman, everywhere. You can't help how men will see you—you just try to figure out how to react to it.
The leering had started too young for me to see it as any more annoying that a fly that's come through the kitchen window.
I remember the first time I realized my body could get me things I wanted. I was 16, secretly smoking cigarettes, and my 18-year-old friends were nowhere to be found. A friend told me that if I wore a low cut shirt to a particular gas station, the guy behind the counter wouldn't ID me. That turned out to be true. I showed up to the gas station, wearing my only low cut top and my only lipstick. "Very sexy," the man behind the counter said as he rang me up. I never wore the top again.
For a while I blamed myself for my own disgust. I invited it, didn't I? I wore a low cut top because I knew it would get me cigarettes. But that doesn't make any sense. Did I make this guy stare down my top, lick his lips, ask me how old I was? No. By simply existing, he saw my body as something to consume.
Later in life I didn't react with such revulsion—it started being funny to me, to see how much I could get from men who were willing to have their entire life structured by their libido. The leering had started too young for me to see it as any more annoying that a fly that's come through the kitchen window. Shoo, you dumbass. Of course I wish it weren't like this, but it is. There is only so much I can do to make it not so, and I'm already doing it. If someone wanted to buy me a drink because he mistakenly thought that he could get some, I truly did not care.
Twitch and YouTube as platforms are already slanted such that it's easier to blame a woman for having breasts and showing cleavage than it is to blame those who are eager to stare at them. The subreddit LivestreamFail collates examples of women who they feel show too much skin; famous YouTubers like PewDiePie call them "Twitch Thots" in their widely circulated videos. Even the rules of Twitch as a platform have stronger guidelines on how much of a boob you can show on air than they do for discrimination and harassment. Female streamers and YouTubers are harassed with the explicit goal of having their channels removed. Women on the internet, and in society at large, face so much resistance when they make themselves seen or heard. It can be even more confusing if you're conventionally attractive. Or if you're willing to play into the societal expectations of women, that they are demure and sexually available. Success in that arena, the one where Neekoul plays, can feel like an insult. You're being rewarded for easily digestible and nice to look at. Blaming Neekolul for the rock and the hard place she's placed between feels myopic.
Making Neekolul responsible for the way that she is looked at misses what makes Neekolul the object of so many people's affection. She's willing to act out the fantasy of a sweet, giggly, girly girl, and considering the attention that her "OK Boomer" video got, she has no reason to stop. If it's upsetting to you that her onscreen personality is a put on, I'm really sorry this was how you had to find out. Sorry Boomer—we live in a world where women are, first and foremost, a sight.
Let the ‘OK Boomer’ Girl Live syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/
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