#saved me some time tbh because i recognized the prints going back the way they came so i didnt have to follow clear til she turned around

[savethepinecones]

adding onto the wild ups and downs of the day i just spent an hour wandering outside in slides and a sweatshirt because my mother decided that the best way to deal with an argument was to leave the car and walk around without her phone and hope her famously horrible sense of direction didnt prevent her from getting home. my stepdad called me because hed tried to go after her and fucking went into a-fib so i drove out to the car and tracked her footprints through the fucking snow- at midnight!!!- a solid half mile while my stepdad drove around trying to find her

[og-danny-dorito]

[ 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐉𝐨𝐉𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 : 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 ]

———————————————————————

[ 𝐀/𝐍 ] straight up pulled these out of my ass at like 1-2 am but here u go anyway

———————————————————————

𝐉𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐊𝐮𝐣𝐨 :

- consistently smells like cigarettes and cheap cologne but he has the common sense not to buy axe since it reminds him of the middle schoolers in his school

- cant fucking cook to save his life because he refused to sit down and let Holly teach him. he suffers the consequences his first week in college and ends up eating dinner there for a month since he’s broke

- literally only smokes Marlboro Reds. like he’s super fucking picky about his cigarettes and it carries on for the rest of his life

- i can’t 100% tell what his sexuality is but i know he isn’t straight (it’s a gut feeling i just k n o w)

- i know everyone says he fucks but like,,, the concept of him having only dated jolyene’s mom rather than having multiple past partners and just marrying her like all the white southern people do with their “highschool sweethearts” in my area SENDS me

- i like to think that he’s bilingual since he grew up around his gramps and holly speaking it all the time so it’s kinda normal for him to stare into the distance for 2 hours straight trying to figure out the english word for “salt” during dinner with his english-speaking grandparents

𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐤𝐢 :

- BI-CON no you cannot convince me otherwise thank you very much

- probably has a male leaning preference tho cause like his vibe just screams “twink” to me for some reason

- he somehow speaks better english than jotaro (who’s grown up bilingual) and constantly likes to show it off by having conversations with his mom in front of him

- absolutely feral when playing videogames. like if you’re playing mario kart with him do NOT expect him to go easy on you since you’re a friend. in fact he might be even more competitive and a whole ass cheater by “accidentally” bumping into you while you’re trying to avoid a banana peel or some shit like that

- he likes cherries the most, but he pretty much likes any red fruit anyway. like he literally won’t eat any fruit that isn’t red, just because he doesn’t find it appealing. it’s been like this since he was a kid and his mom is still pissed off about it

- kinda insecure about his body since he’s thinner than the rest of the crusaders but polnareff makes sure to ABOLISH that shit since kakyoin is the Skinny Legend none of them could ever be. polnareff is basically his hype man when he feels unattractive no cap

- literally hates the way cigarettes smell and has complained about it enough to get Jotaro to finally put on some fucking cologne to mask it (even tho it does a shitty job) but it’ better than being suffocated by the smell of smoke all the time

𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐧-𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐟 :

- a pansexual icon, and likes to constantly clarify that by merely existing

- def the hype man of the group. like in the last one where i mentioned that he hypes up kakyoin when he’s feeling insecure?? yeah its not just limited to kakyoin (even though he arguably needs it the most probably)

- notices and compliments ever new piece of clothing any of them get and gives tips for their wardrobe unprompted (that being said he would literally fucking die if he saw part 6 jotaro’s snake skin print pants)

- can COOK okay like this man can make a 3 course meal blindfolded and with his hands tied behind his back and it still comes out looking straight outta master chef. he can also grill, but not as well as joseph can obviously

- LOVES chubby girls like,,, its not a fetish thing he just LOVES chubby girls with all of his heart

- beats the shit out of anyone who makes a r*pe/misogynistic joke in his presence with absolutely no exceptions

𝐌𝐮𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐀𝐯𝐝𝐨𝐥 :

- s o m f t,,, s o m f t  h u g s. like he’s just the warmest dude, and he smells so nice and has such a nice voice that reverberates in his chest- like if he sings you to sleep while you lay in his arms you might as well die right then and there because you’ve reached heaven

- probably smells like sage and chai tea with a hint of cinnamon in there. it’s v calming tbh like he basically feels like what you think home would be if it were a person

- gorgeous, but very VERY uncontrollable hair. like it’s v curly and thick and stuff and so he ties it in bantu knots so it doesn't bother him. he’ll let it loose sometimes just so he doesn't end up having breakage or anything like that, but if he’s actually trying to be productive he has to tie it up somehow

- i personally believe in puffy ponytail avdol supremacy thank you very much

- names all of the chickens. yes, all of them. and he remembers every single one of their names too

- theres a v v common headcanon that he’s Muslim and honestly? i don’t know much about Islam but i still think it’s cool regardless

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐡 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 :

- ya’ll thought he’s matured since he’s older now? lmao NO- he still does dumb shit all the time and i honestly doubt that it’s ever going to change. he’s a himbo for life ya’ll

- really likes film noir movies!! like the old shit is probably always going to be his go-to, but he also likes modern noir stuff too just because it’s so cool to him. highkey quotes lines from the movies when investigating something too and gets so excited when someone recognizes it

- i hate to fucking say it but i KNOW this man says “gracias” at Mexican restaurants to a) embarrass the fuck out of jotaro and b) because it’s canon that he has quote on quote “frequent failures at blending with the local culture and his struggle at battling Stands are a constant source of humor” (see the Joseph Joestar Wiki Page) and i plan to use that to the fullest of it’s capacity even if its a stretch

- highkey knows he’s a gilf but like refuses to let out the information that he has knowledge of modern lingo. he’d much rather use it incorrectly to make The Youth uncomfortable

- can actually use technology really well?? like you’d expect him to be a boomer about it but he’s knowledgeable to be able to help younger people with their phone problems (mostly courtesy of Hermit Purple)

- would die for some soul food at any given moment thank you very much 😌

[ ~𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!~ ]

[bpdanakins]

I was tagged by @apple-grass-and-smiles to do an otp tag thing and I’m already having a crisis bc I don’t generally have one single true pairing? The struggles of being a multishipper. Here goes.

Rules: Pick 10 of your OTPs from different fandoms without reading the questions and then answer them. Then tag 10 other people to do the same.

Shepard/Liara T’soni (Mass Effect)

Lavellan/Solas (Dragon Age: Inquisition)

Morgana Pendragon/Guinevere (BBC’s Merlin)

Clarke Griffin/Lexa (The 100, and yes don’t @/me I know)

Max Caulfield/Chloe Price (Life is Strange)

Kassandra/Roxana (Assassin’s Creed Odyssey)

Corvo Attano/Jessamine Kaldwin (Dishonored)

Nathan Drake/Elena Fisher (Uncharted)

Dragonborn/Serana/Aela (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, because I can)

Senua/Happiness

(this took waaaay too long)

Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Right away? I kinda had Kassandra sleeping her way across Ancient Greece with almost all the ladies (caught on to Diona right away though and I’m forever glad about that), so it was always going to happen. But as for why I see them as more of a relationship... idk. They’re just really sweet, and I enjoyed Roxana’s quests.

Have you ever read a fic about 2?

Yes. A lot of it. Oops.

Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile pic/Tumblr?

Nope. I did, however, get an art print as gift once from a friend, with Clarke and a bi flag and Lexa with a rainbow flag. It’s this piece to be exact, though they don’t seem to sell it anymore? The artist does have a ton of other lgbtq+ ship art on their redbubble page (including other Clexa pieces, and they also did some of my fave Finnpoe pieces which I did not know was by the same artist, so there you go) if you’re interested.

If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

I mean.... Corvo is technically a widower.... so we’ve already had the tragedy start within the first ten minutes of the first game.

Why is 1 so important?

Because it was my first Mass Effect ship, because Liara is so cute and bad ass and just!!! The journey they go on? My heart. I love them so much. Also a Shiara fic was the first ship I read on ao3 a long time ago so that’s also a bonus.

Which one has the strongest bond?

Pricefield. While they all have amazing bonds in their own ways, Max literally bent time and space to keep Chloe safe on multiple occasions. She didn’t even recognize Chloe right away, but her first use of her powers was to save her best friend. Chloe would also literally throw down for Max at any point, and she talks about how having Max back in her life for a single week made her feel the happiest she’d been in a long time, and that’s despite all of the shit they went through together. Like!!!!!! Please 

How many times have you read/watched 10′s fandom?

I literally still watch the trailers/documentary for Hellblade on a frequent basis. You can guess from there.

Which ship has lasted the longest?

Hmmm. Jess and Corvo were together for about 14 years, and Nate and Elena were together for.... also a long time. idk at what point UC4′s epilogue takes place so I’m just gonna assume they’ve also been together for a long time by then too lmao. idk man

How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

I mean.... whether or not you romance Roxana is up to you, and then there’s that uncomfy mess pulled in the DLCs that I’m not going into bc Kassandra is a lesbian bye. 

Point being, idk?

If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive: 2 or 8?

TOUGH QUESTION. Solas has godlike powers so that would give them an obviously undeniable edge, but Nate and Elena have literally already fought zombies, soooo... both.

Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Yep!! Jessamine was an Empress and Corvo her royal bodyguard. Shouldn’t have entirely bothered hiding it tho considering Emily apparently has 0 issue announcing to the world she’s Corvo’s daughter by the first scene of DH2 lmaaoo.

Is 4 still together?

We don’t talk about this. It’s too depressing.

Is 10 canon?

Relatively. By the end of the game, she has come into acceptance of her pain & grief, but like.... she’s not insta cured or something. And then in Hellblade 2 it seems like she’s ready to fuck everyone up so.... no, it’s not canon enough :(

If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

I’ll have to agree that it’d depend. If things like magic, biotics, the Thu’um or Max’s powers, etc, are included uhhh... well, that makes it super tough. Again, Solas has godlike magic at his hands and can turn everyone to stone without trying now apparently, but Max can literally rewind time, the DB has their own form of godlike powers (Tiber legit remade the geography of an entire province, and that’s just his accomplishments), Kassandra is a demigod, Morgana one of the most powerful sorceresses ever, Serana’s a powerful vampire, Aela a dang werewolf, and Liara one of the strongest biotics. Senua also has Gramr.

Take all of that away though and... still kinda tough. Kass, Roxana, Lexa, and Senua are all really strong warriors. Corvo’s an elite assassin, Aela is a good hunter, Shepard a soldier who passed some of the hardest levels of training.... dude, this is too hard. Who tf knows.

Has anyone ever tried to sabotage 5?

Several by killing one or both off, and time itself tried as well.

Do you spend hours a day going through 3′s tumblr tag?

No. I don’t often venture into tags tbh.

If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break forever or else she’d break them all up, which ship would you SINK?

Morgana and Gwen since they’re not even canon and also the show went icky on Morgana in the end anyways.

--

This was too hard. It was hard to think of/choose 10 ships, it was hard to look up a bunch of info, etc. It also took me too long lmaaoo.

I tag uhhh @mariaromanovs, @twilightofthe, @purplehawke, @serkonans, honestly anyone who wants to? If you want to do it, I tag you!! If you don’t want to and I @’d you, feel free to ignore and forgive me <3

[mentalcurls]

11. Una scelta stupida

Episode 11! The end of S1! I almost can’t believe I made it, I’m emotional. So this is I think the longest of all my analysis/ramblings posts of season 1 (almost 6 pages on GDoc) so good luck to any all brave souls who read this! Hopefully you’ll find interesting my opinions on trophy husbands, pregnancy scares, new and old headcanons on Elia and Edoardo and boys seldom facing the same consequences girls do for their actions. And of course at the end you can find the results for the Bechdel test!

look how cute the girls look in Eva’s pjs!

ok, so Eva’s parents are not home and she has the house to herself… except she hesitated quite a bit the night before to tell the girls she was available to take Silvia (and the rest of them) in; that’s not Eva-like tbh, the only reason I can see to do that is if her parents had somehow found out about Edoardo and Silvia’s rendezvous and had forbidden Eva to have anyone over

Eva’s mom has such a cool job, from the way Eva tells it she’s a textile buyer or seller (aka the dream for me): she’s one of the people who decide a couple of years before we see the runways what will trend in fashion as far as materials and print go

Giorgio Brighi is a trophy husband and he knows it and enjoys the perks

Sana being the icon she is and not drinking coffee, but tea

Federica. Fede. Girl. You had a perfectly good cutting board to put the oranges you already squeezed on. Why didn’t you??

btw, ok, I get it, orange juice is breakfast-y, but it’s JUNE which is not exactly prime orange season. Why force it? Put Fede to prepare toast with jam, she can make a mess of crumbs

if I’d just woken up all disoriented like Silvia, Eleonora crossing her arms at me would have scared me like shit

still, bless Eleonora Sava and her no-nonsense approach to the following conversation: Silvia can’t not eat, nothing special happened the night before, there’s a question they need to ask, how sure is she, ok so they’ll go to the free clinic this week, all without paraphrasing or being vague or judging Silvia; that is definitely the best way she could have handled it

and it is of course so important that the two people who talk to Silvia the most are Eleonora and Sana, the one who she had the most problems with, the ones she’s the most convinced will hate her

look at her! Silvia apologizing for being unwell and throwing up because she made a fuss! She was not low maintenance, she was actually so high maintenance she couldn’t anything by herself, she inconvenienced all the girls and forced them to take care of her and she made a scene! She doesn’t really know, but of course she imagines she made a scene at the party, arriving drunk at the party and making a spectacle of herself, fainting, making people worry about her. It is the very worst thing for her because she simultaneously acted not at all like a proper, refined girl and was super high maintenance: the stuff of nightmares for her

and if this scene isn’t a mirror of the very first scene of the series, where Gio and Marti mocked Eva for her mark in the history test and Gio “tried” to cheer her up saying that she was good at other things (I’d link to my post about ep.1 for my thoughts on that, but Tumblr would disappear my post from tags so 🤷‍♀️): except here the girls tell Silvia she’s good at something that genuinely is hard work and she actually is good at and worked to be good at and makes her proud of herself, even though the atmosphere is still silly and light and there are still jokes to make her laugh

I so empathize with the girls all looking at one another when it’s time to ask Silvia is she’s pregnant cause none of them wants to say it

Silvia can’t find her voice to answer them verbally 💔

Sana putting her mug down and exhaling, Fede inhaling sharply, opening her mouth like she wants to say something but can’t find the words

Eva is the one to think to ask, albeit indirectly, if Silvia took a test and she’s the one who reads the test and recognizes what it means: so she is pretty familiar with pregnancy scares and all that goes with them apparently, but wait a minute, why, exactly? Eva??

and really, I’d like to take a minute and appreciate Eleonora Sava here, because for all that she insisted on Silvia having safe sex, on taking her to the free clinic the first time around, for all she was pretty pissed when Silvia told them she and Edo didn’t use a condom, now that she could say “I told you so” in a multitude of ways from the most direct to the most subtle, she says nothing and offers Silvia an actionable plan for the near future to make her feel supported and comfortable 👏👏👏

honestly, Eleonora being able to just say entire sentences backwards is cool yet slightly creepy

yeeees the theatre kids are back! I missed them 💖 (they’re so passionate and they don’t care what people think of them and they reach out to people! Fucking role models)

theatre girl keeps sneaking looks at Ele, is there some unrequited crushing going on here???

Ele’s thumbs up cracks me up

bless him, theatre guy really wants people to believe there are almost no spots left, he’s so cute

I just realized who theatre guy goes to harass after Eva and Eleonora: he yells “Santini!” and while that is a pretty common surname, I know deep in my heart of hearts that he’s talking to Elia, so Elia used to be in the theatre group too when his, Eva’s, Gio’s and Marti’s class was in Succursale NEW HEADCANON ACCEPTED you can now pry it from my cold dead hands

so Edo has been texting Ele for a couple of weeks and she hasn’t answered any of his texts and, still, he waited at least ten days before trying to talk to her again: my headcanon that he thinks he’s some sort of mysterious romance novel guy a là Edward Cullen gets stronger and stronger (honestly, check out Brooding YA Hero on Twitter, half of the tweets are Edo, the other half are Nico when he’s trying to impress Marti. Honestly: these guys)

and again with that stupid “Eduardo” when they could have gone with gems such as Eriberto

his “Buongiorno, eh” that implies that she should have been the one to greet him first and she ignored him instead, even though he was standing behind her, find his perfect match in Ele’s “Wow” which shows exactly how impressed she is that he finally had the balls to at least actually talk to her face to face again

OMG the way he says her full name like he expects to get a prize or something for discovering it, like he expects her to be impressed and for that to woo her into his arms, instead of sounding borderline stalkerish

in fact, Eva is supremely unimpressed throughout the conversation

backwards compliments will get you nowhere Edo: if you tell her she’s smart, you don’t say she doesn’t show it the next minute (but again, this is a typical Brooding YA Hero move)

that “Everytime you say no to me, I only want you more” is straight out of some clichè romance novel like GOD, can you be more obvious Edo?

Ele’s unimpressed raised eyebrow gives me life

and when nothing else works, like any good asshole, Edoardo goes goes for simple shock value, goes for the thing that will make Ele look stupid and uptight and a jerk if she gets mad about it, goes for words she can’t have a rebuttal for, goes for fake vulnerability and kindness (as proven by the way he smiles smug like he knows exactly what he is doing), goes for physical attractiveness which can imply objectification and sexualization (especially when you think about the fact Edo complimented her intelligence but immediately backtracked a couple of line earlier)

Eva saved you there, Edoardo. Ele might have been taken aback for a second, but when she saw you smirking, she started gearing up for one hell of a roast and I honestly struggled to think how you would have survived another one

the girls just march into the doctor’s office unannounced???

Sana’s eyebrow raise at the doctor’s “Salam aleikum” is 💯💯💯

for realsies though, how sarcastic is that “Benissimo” from the doctor?? Like, she spent what I expect was an excruciating amount of time teaching Silvia how to put on a condom (based on how scared Silvia was of the fake dick she would have had to practice on) and now it seems she didn’t even use it? She’s over it

oh, but Ele and Sana have both been thinking bout this, they’ve planned how things will go for Silvia: in Ele’s mind how she’ll have to have an abortion, she doesn’t even need her parents permission since she’s 16 but at the same time she’s just 16 and the father is not in the picture as well as an asshole, she has the maturità next year and she can’t really handle a pregnancy and a newborn baby at the same time as school and her exams and the psychological aspects, and she has the beginning of an ED on top of all of that; Sana on the other hand is planning for Silvia keeping the baby, influenced by her being religious, but she’s a practical girl nonetheless and thinking of adoption I expect, then of how Silvia will have to face the music at home and at school and the girls will have to support her, but also of how a pregnancy might be in some ways good for her because it will make her have a completely different relationship with her body and food and boys and even with her family

and Silvia doesn’t speak. Silvia doesn’t have an opinion in this. She tried to “kill Edoardo’s baby” the previous week, but here she doesn’t speak, even when it is her body and potentially her baby on the line

the only thing she’s insistent about is that she took a test, even when the doctor is prescribing some actual medical tests (not saying pharmacy bought pregnancy tests aren’t accurate, but they can sometimes be wrong)

she’s just so resigned

Silvia and the other girls don’t seem to know what an ovulation test is?? But they were so well informed about contraceptives in ep.5! Fall of a myth

Silvia’s poor cousin who wants to have a baby but can’t check if she’s fertile so she can have sex at the right moment 😕

the relief on the other girls faces when the doctor says Silvia’s not pregnant

and the doctor is good, she saw right through Silvia and understood immediately what was the actual problem, but I’m kind of mad she didn’t say anything more than “You can’t live on love and air” to Silvia about eating better, she’s a doctor ffs

woman-on-a-mission-Eva is back and walking towards Marti, I’d be scared if I were you bby, she even wore the heavy boots to kick your ass better

aaand he tries to act  like nothing’s wrong; Marti, did you really think you’d get away with it??

Eva is so impressed Marti called her to talk and all he talks about is Gio and not telling Gio about how he knew of Eva cheating and the mess he made

and I can’t even imagine how betrayed Eva feels right now: not only she finds out about more lies Gio told, but it is also confirmed that someone she relied on, someone she thought was on her side, at least back then, was not, ever

and I said it before, but Gio and Marti would happily take a bullet for one another, Eva was a bit naive there thinking Martino would side with her; sure, it turns out he didn’t exactly side with Gio for the last part of this story, acting in a self-serving way, but he sure as hell never really spared much thought to Eva

just so you know, I’m torn: half of me is like “he did all of that and now he has the nerve to CRY?” and wants to grab him and shake him out of stupid; the other half is going “my baby! my poor baby! OMG, this is breaking my heart make it stop” (S2 I blame you)

“un po’ un’infamata”/”a bit of a shitty thing” UN PO’? UN PO’???? (imagine me pulling a full Captain Raymond Holt reacting to Agent Rosa Diaz telling him he and his husband need to “bone”)

everytime Eva turns to Marti, then turns away, she gets more disbelieving and a piece of her heart breaks a bit more

and all the pieces fall into place, finally, so Eva finally feels like she has the full picture of when and how her life fell apart: she takes a step back while listening to Marti, look at it attentively, and she can’t help but pinpoint one specific moment as the one where it all went to hell

yes, great choice telling a kid with a mentally ill mother he’s a “psycho”

“It’ll sound absurd, but I never wanted to hurt you” YES IT DOES SOUND ABSURD AND I DON’T NEED PERMISSION FROM YOU TO THINK THAT MARTINO ALSO GO TO HELL

also, look who’s been taking lesson from bodice-ripper-clichès-spouter extraordinaire Edoardo Incanti *drumroll* Martino, and the pupil is already better than the master cause he’s far more convincing

and I can’t really begin to pretend to understand what goes through Eva’s head here, why she decides to joke and forgive Marti this quickly: is it because she’s seen the big picture and come to her decision and has decided thing would have come to this one way or another anyways? Is it because she’s gotten attached to the idea of Marti being into her and she’s planning to give him a chance, like she obviously does at the end of the year party? Is it honestly because she feels like it’s karma/the universe paying her back for how she hurt Laura? Is it because her and Marti were really close even before she dated Gio? (which makes only half sense to me since they’ve only known one another four year tops, and yeah, okay, it’s four years, but it’s also just four years)

that shot where Eva leans her head on Marti’s shoulder though. Poetic cinema.

and WHAT ARE THE ODDS? Gio is there

and like, why’s Gio so worried about justifying who he’s with, when he and Eva are on a pause??

also he’s in red again here with his brother. But he’s in dark green at Eva’s the next day, which is in his normal palette of cold colors

“There was a very real possibility you would’ve rejected me or that a mess would have happened.” and that’s it. The possibility of a mess never actually happened in Gio’s view of things, because he never really face much consequences of his cheating on his girlfriend: Laura dumped him, sure, but she made her peace with him, he still goes to her house even; his friends are still his friends and support his new relationship (Marti wanting to break them up is not because of the cheating, is because of his own reasons so it doesn’t count rn), no one really holds a grudge against him, he doesn’t have a bad reputation, he doesn’t feel insecure at all, actually going from girl to girl like that probably boosted his self esteemed and raised the opinion his friends have of him

and while with Canegallo Eva didn’t actually kiss him first, so at least she had that; with Gio she did, she kissed him first, so she probably feels like she deserved all the shit that happened to her

and really, these kids waiting for signs from the universe through playlists on shuffle, who do they think they are, Romeo and Juliet? (They probably do.) (They should have seen the break up coming then, though, cause Romeo and Juliet don’t really have a “ and they lived happily ever after”)

and finally Eva lies it all out on the table for him, all the thing he never fully understood she had to go through because of him, of them

and maybe this hurt him, but as Eva says, she’s been hurting for a whole year and he never got that, he never hurt, he never tried to really understand and support her, he was just same old Gio and a good boyfriend by his own standards, but I doubt he ever stopped to ask Eva what she really needed (and like, it’s fine. He is 16 years old, he’ a kid, he’s allowed to make mistakes, but he needs to be put face to face with them to see them and grow, and I love him so much anyways, he’s my favorite always)

on a less profound note, those shoes. They really look like a perfect Tumblr aesthetic pic when they hug and their feet are close, the Eva gets on her tiptoes

and I’d kind of forgotten how they show of the sex scene? again, like I said in ep.2, 7.6 Due ore and the red room scene in 8.5 Tu non sei di Milano are perfect and I love them and I wouldn’t change a thing, but it objectively true Evanni sex scenes are more “graphic” than Nicotino sex scenes

confirmed that staring contests are Evanni’s version of post sex-cuddles

Maria Sorgato is back! Look at her being a queen and rocking that black Gucci-esque top and playing MC

oh, God, Canegallo sounds like one of the guys who run the rides at local fairs and hypes up 13-year-olds to take those 5-for-the-price-of-4 deals on ride tickets

now, I’m Italian, I went to 4 end of the year parties during my 5 years of high school and we never, not once, did something so cheesy as this, nor did a 1995 song ever play at such a party, nor any Renato Zero song, and definitely not “I migliori anni della nostra vita” (which I’ve read someone call “somewhat of a hymn for Italian teenagers” and I was like W H A T? Where? When?) so I can say for sure this is terrible representation of Italian culture, but a cute-ish scene on its own

Alice waving to Eva, awww 💕

Gio waving to Eva, double awww 💕 + bonus Elia and Peccio hugging like there’s no tomorrow next to Gio 💕

Eva lately doesn’t have much time or patience for niceties with Marti, she goes straight to the point

woah, such enthusiasm from Marti at the news Eva is finally single!

awww but it’s because he’s a good friend, he’s worried about how she feels, if she’s hurting! (Ok this is me being bitter, he actually is a cutie about this)

what is Marti looking at when Ele is checking her phone? What draws him to the bar as fast as possible? Gio??

YASSS for surprise hugs and amends! Good for you Laura, you’re looking like a nicer person already without all those grudges

oh, Silvia’s dress is so cute, except why does it fit so poorly? The neckline is all skewed and the armhole gapes! It’s her Revenge dress™! She’s been planning her look for 3 weeks! It should be tailored for the gods!

on the other hand, look at Silvia walking out of the woods, both the real-but-fake ones that are part of the decor and the metaphorical ones of the last few months

and in fact, look, they make light of the incident at Alice’s friends party!

except then the monsters of months past (Edo) come visit and start looming over Silvia

Edoardo jumping over that fence thing to go talk to Silvia is 100% Olio Cuore romance novel clichè

Silvia actually takes a few step backwards as he get closer to talk to her, she’s honest to God scared of what he wants to tell her, she fully expects him to be there to make fun and humiliate her again

and then he kisses her on the cheek! Why? Dude, I went off William og in my previous discussions of your behaviour towards Silvia and that means you don’t want Silvia around you because she’s too clingy and you don’t want her to believe you have feelings for her: why kiss her on the cheek then? You apologized, you were nice, you could have just said “See you around at school next year” and be done with it, leave her without any delusions; instead you went for the one act that might give her hope she has some of your affection. Why? Is is your inner Harlequin hero taking control of your body? Is it just that you secretly enjoy having a harem of girls pining for you? (oh, soz, you do enjoy that, I’d forgotten)

look how excited Silvia is! She was expecting the worst and she got almost the best instead! Of course she’s enamoured with Edo all over again, he’s not even a monster anymore!

at least he says bye to Eva too

this party has been pretty amazing for Eva up till now, whereas it must have been so fucking stressful for poor Ele?! She has to manage Edoardo, both making sure he fulfills his promise and keeping him at bay re: their date, she has to find fricking Silvia and on top of that she finds gay porn on Marti’s phone

btw, how did that happen? Ok it’s in his favorites, but you don’t exactly see browser favorites from the phone app 🤔 girl you wanna tell me something? Were you planning some nasty surprise for him cause Eva told you he was the one who triggered the fight, the school-wide rumors, the whole mess with Gio? (Look at Ele hitting back for her girl, cause sure she’s into Eva but she also just wants her to be happy and Marti made her definitely not happy 😡 also Evanora always on my mind)

and then 30 seconds straight (lol) of Eva being baffled and confused and just generally shook

Bechdel test: this episode passes the test! The conversations that make it pass are the two conversations at Eva’s house in the morning, despite a brief mention of her dad and the almost-ever present ghost of Edoardo over Silvia, and the conversation at the free clinic with the doctor.

Thank you so much for sticking with me through this!

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[margridarnauds]

A, F, G, M, S, T, V

THANKS AVERY. 

A. If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of your fics, what would you pick? Why?

 Yakety Sax for Goosefic. 

Alright, seriously? It’s totally not like I have a playlist or something stored anywhere, because that would be insane, right? 

Illuminated by Hurts - Ah, Ça Ira. “Time waits for no one/So do you want to waste some time/Oh, oh, oh, oh/Tonight?” AKA “Ronan realizing that he might not make it back the next day and trying to get Laz to come to bed and reconcile with him, not necessarily because he wants to SLEEP with him, but because he wants his boyfriend there with him. “Swim with your sorrows/And try delusion for a while/It’s such a beautiful lie” Lazare frantically scribbling out his justifications on the paper, even though he has to KNOW that Artois’ going to abandon him and it’s going to be worthless. “Suddenly my eyes are open/Everything comes into focus/Blinding” GENERALLY I get Laz vibes from this line, with him gradually realizing how important Ronan is to him and that some part of him WANTS the new world that Ronan was, but the last few lines also work for Ronan’s (unstated, in-text, but there in canon) decision to charge in front of du Puget, realizing that he HAS to save Olympe from being orphaned like he was. 

Either Dream of Sky (Dancing Line OST) or Forbidden Friendship (HTTYD OST) - Le Cri. Both of them have that sort of tentative, new feeling where things start out so soft and with that kind of innocence but as time goes on, it becomes so much MORE. 

I’ve Seen Hell (North and South OST)/Ashes (Celine Dion) - Pour la Peine. I’ve Seen Hell is one of my go-to Period Drama songs, but I LOVE how it has that bleak feel while also not being COMPLETELY bleak and miserable, there’s that idea of PUSHING through in spite of it. And Ashes also kind of has a similar vibe, as far as openly asking how...there can be any GOOD after that kind of devastating tragedy (even though a part of me will always seen Ryan Reynolds doing interpretive dancing to it, tbh). Ashes is much more...RELIGIOUS in bent than Solène generally goes with, but I think it WORKS as far as that general feeling of despair and abandonment that she starts off with “Every word shot down in flames/What’s left to do/With these broken pieces on the floor?/I’m losing my voice/Calling on you” 

Wicked Game - Personally, I favor it for A Pressing Matter, though it really works for Peyronan in general. “What a wicked game/To make me feel this way/What a wicked thing to do/To make me dream of you” AKA “Peyrol’s ENTIRE thought process when he realizes that, against his own judgement, he’s gotten attached to Ronan and that that’s a MAJOR weakness. 

F. What stories are you planning for the future?

I have. So many WIPS that I’m DYING to release soon. One is very obviously the Fairy Tale AU, which I’m very pumped about. There’s the one that’s just called “Madame Roland is a Lesbian” that I’m excited for. At some point, I’m going to have to expand the Abomination and the Verse it encompasses, stretching from where we start off in the Beauce in 1777 to at LEAST the early 19th century, possibly into the 1840s. 

Between the Waves is going to get a LOT more added to its Verse, hopefully. I already have at least two WIPS that are partially finished and give a little bit more context to things that are happening in the next few chapters, one from Olympe’s perspective on the pre-canon events that stretches to the post, one from Artois’ on some of the events of PLP, and I either have an Afterlife AU, a Reincarnation AU, or both to wrap it up, possibly with us ending up where we began. (No, not on Marat’s printing press.) I’ve also toyed with fleshing out a little more about how Peyronan got to where we see them in A Pressing Matter, to round out the series. Either way, though, I do intend for this to end up being a VERSE, not necessarily just one or two stand-alones. There’s a lot that’s...going to pop up here or there that I INTEND at least to expand on. I rarely like to leave things HANGING like that. 

There’s also the Peasant Lazare AU which, even though it’s basically a laughing stock among my friends IRL at this point, is still very important to me and I’ve never fully given it up. 

I’m definitely going to expand the Ripples in the Rockpool Verse, HOPEFULLY dipping more into the historical events that are happening around this time and a little more on how the OT3 ended up where they get to be in Back on the Shore. 

There’s a Vampire AU that I’ve been toying with back and forth, and I STILL haven’t given up on The Zombie Apocalypse AU, though I’d like to focus on that one more when I have a fewer WIP count and I can more thoroughly outline it. Also @lehetsz-kiraly and I have toyed around with a Superhero AU that I would 100% like to see get off the ground, and I also am totally planning on toying with the TN crossover as time goes on. I obviously have no idea....WHEN or HOW, but it’s somewhere nebulously on my To-Do list. 

And, of course, the Disneyworld AU. One day, I will finish it. 

G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?

Honestly, I think the drabble challenge was a GREAT opportunity to throw myself into a variety of things that I NEVER would have considered before. I’ve gone from EXCLUSIVELY writing 1789 and Irish Mythology stuff to really working with anything that really vibes with me, which has been VERY exciting. And, between Le Cri, A Pressing Matter, and Back on the Shore, I’ve gotten several things that I’ve been talking about and tossing around for YEARS on the page and out there in some form or another. I’m still going to stick around 1789, of course, that’s still my BABY, but I really got the chance to work with a lot of things I’d have never normally have thrown myself into and had the chance to toy with my style in a way that I normally wouldn’t. 

M. Meta! Have any meta about a story you’re dying to throw out there?

Oh God, there’s ONE THING that I WANT to write the meta for but SPOILERS. That I don’t even know if it’s SPOILERS anymore. (I should honestly get into the habit of asking people “SO WHAT DO YOU THINK’S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW��� like a thirteen year old who’s just uploaded their first Wattpad fic, but alas). But, since I’m working on PLP at the moment, have this: 

No, she gets no sleep tonight, her eyes locked on the bayonets as they gleam in the moonlight. She lays and waits and thinks.

Several hours later, a shot rings out in the dark. All the demons of Hell break loose, the only thought on Solène’s mind being that of another night, another volley of shots.

They mean to massacre them all.

The Queen has changed the King’s mind again and they will all be killed.

Every part of her knows it, screaming in her mind as they make their way for the Queen’s quarters, all else, all other thoughts disappearing.

A panicked voice asks them what they think they’re doing and another voice, she doesn’t know if it’s hers or one of the women with her, replies, “We’ll cut off her head, rip out her heart, fry her liver, and that won’t be the end of it!”

They are done with this, done with the queen, and they will take whatever they can get.

They have endured too much pain at this point to just curl up and die.

This wasn’t a fight they wanted to begin, but if it was a fight they needed to survive the night, they could give it to them.

They could give and give and give as they had always done, all of their lives.

A few guardsmen try to stop them, but they disappear beneath the wave of bodies flooding the palace. One of them breaks free, runs and pounds on the door, his bloodied hand staining the expensive, gilt wood as it slams against it before he’s tossed aside. “Save the Queen!”

A door slams ahead of them as they reach the room, the room itself is deserted, except for one woman who rushes in front of them all.

“I am the Queen!”

Solène recognizes the voice even before she can see her in the light of the torches, still wearing the clothing that she’d worn the night before, and she freezes.

So, for this section, I ripped a LOT from the historical record, as far as the threats the women made on the life of Marie Antoinette, the guard slamming on the door, the shot in the dark panicking the mob, BUT I also actually did look up at least one article on mob mentality to try to understand HOW someone would get involved with something like this. And the first thing I focused on was the INDIVIDUAL getting pushed aside in favor of the group. And the main way I ended up TRYING to get that to show through was in Solène’s reaction. 

At first, she starts off as a singular: “She lays and waits and thinks” “The only thought on Solène’s mind,” etc. But then, immediately AFTER that, as the panic sets in, she becomes a PLURAL, “They mean to massacre them all” “They will all be killed,” “they are done with this” “they have endured too much.” And it really reaches its height when they enter MA’s chambers, as she doesn’t even know WHO is speaking. It could’ve been her, it could’ve been the woman by her side, likewise with the guard who’s severely hurt (also, the “wave” of bodies, going back to the overall theme of water that’s there in PLP). She doesn’t know, because at this point, they’re one whole body acting out at the same time.  (There’s one brief point where Solène becomes a “her” again, but it’s only to say that her brain is NOT necessarily...its usual self, “all other thoughts disappearing,” which repeats what she’d also said when the shot first went off; she’s very much acting on INSTINCT here.) 

When does she become Solène again? When Olympe runs in front of her. She and Olympe are not a Thing per se, not at this point, even though Solène’s recognizing that she’s “a little bit in love with her,” but Solène does care enough for Olympe that she was able to be snapped out of it. In the chapter that I currently have sitting in my drafts and that SHOULD be published in the next day or so, there’s a bit where Olympe questions whether Solène would have continued on if she hadn’t been there. Solène says that she doesn’t know, because to HER this unlocked a part of herself that she didn’t really know was THERE, the kind of radicalism that she tends to associate with Ronan and the other revolutionaries (ESPECIALLY Maillard, who is kind of Ronan-By-Proxy here as a vanqueur of the Bastille who is ultimately ineffective when it comes to Solène’s complaints.) Personally? Even though I fully leave it up to interpretation, and everyone’s free to say “No, you’re wrong,” I wrote it with the idea that Solène probably would have done a Hell of a lot more harm had Olympe not been there. 

This is also fully intended as a parallel to Peyronan. (”NO, RACHEL, PEYRONAN ARE A THING? I HAD NO IDEA! THE SPOILERS!”) Both Peyrol and Solène had the same choice in this chapter, at its core: Their goal at hand, or the person they love. Peyrol let the army and his loyalty to the Monarchy get the better of him, Ronan ended up paying the price for it, and, as we see both at the funeral and at the trial at the beginning of the chapter...Laz is BROKEN by it. Solène doesn’t realize why he’s broken and even doubts that he is, because she doesn’t have the perspective, but...LOOK at him. He is not doing Well. He didn’t gain anything from what he did. In a snap-second decision, he chose his career and decades of indoctrination over Ronan, and he ended up losing both. Solène chose to break out of it and save Olympe, even if she was personally endangered by it. It doesn’t mean that one loved their person more than the other one, but it DOES mean that they get very different results. There’s a climb to the light for Laz as well, I’m not going to just...LEAVE him, but it’s going to be much, much longer than Solène’s. 

S. What’s the sexiest thing you wrote this year?

I’ll be honest: I know I have (2) Official Smut Fics to my name now, but I honestly don’t FEEL like anything I’ve written’s particularly SEXY so much as Describing Sex. This isn’t me being a Pretentious Literary Author who Does Not Write Porn, oh no; it’s that I genuinely don’t believe that what I write...qualifies as “sexy”. That being said, despite being only 100 words, “Honey Plunged Into Water” is probably the sexehiest. Which is hilarious because it’s also the kind of thing I would NEVER have written otherwise. There is one...unpublished fic for A Passage Through the Light that features Madame Roland/Marie-Anne that is....very, very gay and is probably honestly the sexiest thing I’ve ever written even without them actually doing the do. 

T. Themes, motherfucker, do you have them? What are they?

Earn Your Happy Ending, the question as far as the difference between society and what someone’s been conditioned to be like VS the individual, uncertainty, unease, that question of how much you really CAN know someone else, that general feeling of the calm before (or even during) the storm and how people can find intimacy then. There’s a lot of the gothic element there as far as the past, and the people who were THERE in the past, never really being...GONE from the narrative. Like, one way or another, they have the tendency to come back, whether it’s as a literal ghost or whether it’s just their skeleton buried underneath a tree somewhere. 

V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks.

This is painfully predictable, but I THOROUGHLY enjoyed every second of writing Forgiveness. To this day, it’s probably the ONE piece of Peyronan stuff (besides Fowl Play!) that I’ve written where I’m, like, 95% happy with the final result, which is REMARKABLE for me. I really, really loved getting to WORK with their relationship and what makes it WORK at the heart of everything, the progression of it, the gradual increase in intimacy, the way they come to have that moment of “We’re in this one TOGETHER,” and an ending that’s HOPEFUL even though there’s still the ever-present promise of the Revolution in the background. All of that is a LOT of what I tend to like in my Peyronan to begin with, so it was really fantastic to just get that all out on the page. It’s one of those moments where I just want to gesture all over the page and go “THESE TWO LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH” even though they still have their bickering and their petty little moments. 

Another one that’s a WIP but that I feel’s far enough along to actually TALK about is the Fairy Tale AU (It has a name, but I tend to feel like announcing its name is jinxing it and I DO desperately want to get it out soon) and...it’s not my usual writing style, it’s not my usual way of doing things. There are some things that I do there that I wouldn’t necessarily do in a usual, realistic fic because it’s a FAIRY TALE that’s being given the 1789 treatment. It was really, really interesting to get to work with some of my favorite fairy tales, see some of the ways they’ve been told and retold throughout the years, especially looking for the ones that focus on commoner protagonists, elements of the gothic and dark fantasy mixed in there with the light. I’m not really that USED to getting to go wild, so it’s been a lot of fun to have one project where the research is less on the minutiae of 18th century life and more on...like....the similarities between the Italian and the Breton versions of The Travelling Companion folkstory. 

[rosyredlipstick]

You mentioned you loved YOI and read some good fanfic for it!! Would you mind recommending me some, maybe..?? :')

This took longer then I meant but im real serious bout my yoi fics. gets kinda long so under the cut! 

Okay currently the fics im obsessed with - 

Fics I rec:

The princess diaries au that has me SCREAMING WITH EVERY UPDATE OMG it has such an amazing aesthetic and plot and i ADORE all the characters and this victor???? Wow. amazing.

Seek those who fan your flames by @ebenroot

summary :

Yuuri gets hand-delivered a black-print T-shirt by one of his bodyguards on Friday. There’s a small sticky note attached to the collar in Victor’s handwriting that reads: ‘Our new band shirt! Logo is still a work in progress. Name too. But it’s a start! Let me know what you think after school. - Victor’

There’s a heart next to his name that is hastily scribbled out. Then another heart next to that one, like Victor decided to put it in anyways.

Yuuri thinks he’s in love.

–

in which Yuuri is a teenager that’s actually a prince, and Victor is a teenager with a band that just wants to listen to rock music with him

i love yurio here’s a fic with him prominently i love it

along with the popular fandom troupes of pining viktor and secretly caring yurio, there’s the troupe of yuuri being a beautiful idiot without realizing it i love them all

in wine we trust  by @fireblazie

summary:

Yuri peers into the expanse of the apartment and finds a single, flickering light in the kitchen. He stealthily tiptoes across the floor with the baseball bat clutched tightly in his fists, only to find that, what the hell, this bastard is actually fucking raiding his fridge.

“That’s my pirozhki, asshat!” he snarls, ready to swing his bat when the intruder turns around.

Shit, Yuri thinks. It’s Beautiful International Student Yuuri Katsuki.

IM A BITCH FOR OFFICE AUS. LIKE. OH MY GOD.

I seriously adore everyone in this fic. Omg. ive read it so many times at this point it’s unbelievable. Wow.

the season of the spirits by counterheist / @kixboxer

summary:

Yuuri wakes up to one hell of a headache, a tie he doesn’t recognize knotted around his wrist, and two fistfuls of banknotes cradled to his chest.

~

An AU about cubicles, and the people who work in them.

THIS IS CURRENTLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS EVER IT’S A STAR TREK AU MY GOOOOOOD I LOVE IT!!!!

everything here is amazing omg captain viktor and first officer yuuri with heavy heavy pining omggggggg yaaaas

To Boldly Go by @xyloophones

summary:

“Yuuri!” Viktor calls. “I’ve come to rescue you!”

Yuuri stares at him blankly. He gestures to the various unconscious space pirates with his recently discharged phaser.

“Oh, Captain,” he deadpans. “Save me.”

Or:

A year in the life of badass science officer Yuuri Katsuki, Captain Viktor “Team Mom” Nikiforov, and simultaneously the best crew and worst crew in Starfleet history.

ok so this next fic isnt finished BUT it’s the funniest fic i’ve ever read in this fandom. omfg. i was laughing so hard at every chapter pls read. it’s a speed dating au AND IT’S HILARIOUS also there’s phichit\seung-gil in this which i didn’t even know was a thing\didn’t ship UNTIL THIS FIC IT’S JUST A SIDE PAIRING BUT I LOOOOVE IT AND BOTH OF THEM

Speed Dating (Let’s Take it Slow) by @apalettefullofyou

summary:

“Why like this?” Yuuri asks, breaking the silence.

Phichit grins. “Because desperate times call for desperate measures. And if you haven’t noticed, we’re desperate.“

Tired of watching Georgi mull over his recent breakup, Viktor and the gang take him speed dating, hoping one of the twenty-something strangers could help fill the hole in his heart.

Now if only he could stop crying.

u like royal au?????? am i bout to blow your MIND

this is THE royal fic. so so so good. gods. the characterization. the pining. the povs. everyone is written so well OH MY GOD ITS SO GOOD.

The Rules for Lovers by  @adreamingsongbird

Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well…

That’s a long story.

I went through a superheroes phase and this fandom is the best enabler. Pls check out this superhero series, like, even if you’re not that big of a fan. It’s so wonderful throughout and intriguing and god, the plot sucks you in so well. The characters and their powers are handled so well and tbh im so invested

The Yuuri!!! On fire series by @hinatella

Summary:

A detailed exposé of what working with an ex-villain is like, as told by a very distraught Yuuri Katsuki. (P.S.: it isn’t the fact that he’s an ex-villain that Yuuri is close to losing his mind.)

so! cute! domestic life after yuuri and viktor move back to russia!! so cute!!! omg!!!!

Safety Hazards in St. Petersburg by @lucycamui

summary:

In which Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg and Victor discovers just how distracting living with him can be.

Alternatively titled, How Many Ways Can Victor Hurt Himself? or Idiots in Love

Authors I advise to immediately read everything they produce because fUCK

Ebenroot - they wrote the princess diaries fic above but jfc. Jfc. there’s so much more. They’re doing a fairy tale au that i scream into a pillow every time it updated. Everything they write is just so purely GOOD dear GODS

Xylophones i recced their star trek series above BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! They did a halloween week of fics that im still obsessed with (GO READ MOONSTRUCK PLEASEEEE!!!) so there’s a ton more to check out!!!

Thehandsingsweapon / @handsingsweapon *opens coat* u want some wonderfully developed characters? Some of that good character development shit?? The best parents i’ve ever read for sir victor nikiforov?????? Literally please read these fics for the pure existence of victor’s wonderful lesbian mothers. God. its all i want in life and i have to live vicariously through these fics.

Spookyfoot / @spookyfoot if for some odd reason you dont have the time/will to read 30 wonderful yoi fics, for the love of god please read their spy/mistaken identity fic. God please. It’s been months since i got the notification email for it and i STILL LAUGH FROM THE THOUGHT OF IT. so good. im in love. 

okay okay, it’s sunday night and im using this to stall doing my homework but i should go now. let me know if you want anymore!! lol it might take awhile for me to finally answer the ask but ill get to it!!! 

[deadgwen]

IT IS A HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST GOAT

@fucshias  @jiilys  MY LOVE GOATY. MY MOST BEAUTIFUL GOAT. MY SUN. MY STARS. MY BEAUTIFUL HOOVED CREATURE OF GOD. I HAVE ARRIVED TO SAY SOME IMPORTANT THINGS BUT FIRSTLY I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU U R READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW DUE TO A VERY IMPORTANT REASON AND THIS IMPORTANT REASON IS THAT

*CHOKES BACK TEARS*

IT IS UR BIRTHDAY.

*SCREAMING*

OK OKI DOKI BEFORE I START: I AM NOT ACTUALLY HERE BUT DO NOT BE D I S E N H E AR T E N E D BC I JUST DONT HAVE WIFI BUT I PROMISE U SOMEWHERE OUT THERE I AM SULKING AND FIGHTING A WALL AND ALSO SETTING OFF FIREWORKS BC !!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS UR FUCKING DAY AND IM SORRY I COULD NOT WISH U BUT I LOVE U SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I AM HERE W/ U IN SPIRIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT TURN THE FUCK UP HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U UR EXCELLENT AND I LOVE YOU AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK BINCH HOW ARE U SEVENTEEN TODAY U ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT U KNOW WHO) WHO ALLOWED U TO BE LIKE THIS AND ALSO I LOVE YOU. AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE UVE DONE THIS. UR LITERALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I NEED U TO HOLD ME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BEING A DRAMATIC BITCH I WILL FAINT IN UR ARMS I AM 100% NOT ALRIGHT

like,,,, HONESTLY u are so. fucking. great. WHERE DO I EVEN START. 

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANNA SAY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS FOR UR BDAY I LOVE YOU GOATY I AM SO PUMPED THAT UR SO OLD ITS RIDICULOUS @ ME FUCK OFF ALRIGHT BUT. JUST. I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY U GOAT UR BEYOND INCREDIBLE

UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN UR YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY. *SMASHES OPEN MY WINDOW AT 12 MIDNIGHT* SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

SO OH MY GOD. I AM CURRENTLY YELLING BECAUSE??????????? LIKE???????????????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??????? HOW DID WE EVEN COME TO THIS POINT ITS INSANE LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SEVENTEEN WE'RE ALL JUST STILL TINY SMOLS WHERE ARE U GOING WHY ARE U GROWING OLDER STOP IT PLS ALRITE I DO NOT LIKE. MY PRECIOUS GOAT SUNSHINE WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL PAJAMA CONSULTANT A REAL SOLID BUSINESSWOMAN WHO DRIVES AND SHIT AND COULD PROBABLY RUN ME OVER AND IS 6'3 SO IF U WOULD SIT ON ME I WOULD MOST CERTAINLY DIE UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN AND I AM CRYING

but in all seriousness I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i am FOREVER AND EVER glad that i met u LIKE I FUCKIN HATE U GODMDAN FUCKIBG GOAT MAKING ME REBLOG THIGNS FUCK YUO FUCK O FF but like????? apart from that UR FUCKING BEYOND FABULOUS and i have decided to compile a list of reasons why u are unbelievably great and have earned ur title of being a dancing queen/brilliant goat/actual love of my life. bc u are excellent. AND IT MUST BE WRITTEN OUT HERE SOMEWHERE THAT I LOVE YOU. 

OK OK OK SO HERE WE GO BINCHES. PREPARE URSELF. THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER LENGTHY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT AND I AM GONNA DO A 'ON THE JELLICOE ROAD' WORTHY REVIEW OF U BUT LIKE A SHITTIER VERSION SO U BETTER FUNKIN BUCKLE UP BITCH

LEZGO:

IS OBVIOSULY FABULOUS

IS A REAL LIFE GIRAFFE 

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE ROAM OUT OF CAPTIVITY LIKE............. WE ARE STRONGLY BLESSED

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

CLAIMS TO HAVE 'barely any leg but a huge torso' and interpret this how u want bUT i just wanna say u r the most fucked up giraffe ever ok what the fuck WHO HURT YOU

apparently dis binch owns a bunny AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE DID

owns a problematic rabbit bc it pees everywhere

said problematic rabbit likes to pee everywhere so much its ridiculous it has no respect for the value of items of modern society and thus in my opinion should be sent to COURT

@ rabbit U NASTY OK PLS GET UR PRIORITIES SORTED???? THIS HAS BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING PSA THANK U (CAROLINE I AM TRUSTING YOU TO SHOW THIS ON UR PHONE TO THE GODDAMN BUNNY I NEED IT TO KNOW)

is 100% excellent at looking after drunk people ALRITE literally THIS WOMAN IS A SAINT who has saved REAL LIVES tbh where would that poor child from your old intermediate be if u hadn't SAVED HIS ENTIRE LIFE from all that tequila he would DEAD thats fuKCIN RIGHT U DESERVE ALL THE MEDALS A TRUE HERO AMONG NEW ZEALANDERS. A NATIONAL ICON. SO BRAVE I AM SO PROUD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS

AND ALSO PULLING DRUNK MAKING OUT PEOPLE OFF EACH OTHER I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT UR EFFORTS ARE SO VERY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ONE TIME I DID THAT AND I GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT I THOUGHT I DIED BECAUSE I SAW JESUS BUT IT WASNT ACTUALLY JESUS IT WAS JUST A POSTER TAPED TO A FRIDGE I WAS SCAMMED

her own mum has called the police on her and was 100% ready for some quality fun family jailtime

ALSO ONE TIME GOATY ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED UP SOMEONES REAR MIRROR AND THE VICTIMS OF THE INCIDENT DID NOT GIVE HALF A FUCK HOWEVER, HER MOTHER GOATY REPORTED SEVERAL FUCKS TO THE POLICE AND FILED AN ACCIDENT REPORT AND THAT WAS THE DAY MY GOATY BECAME A DARK CRIMINAL

*OMINOUS MUSIC*

I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE DAY I WALK MY BUTT INTO COURT AGAINST UR MUM COVERED HEAD TO ASS IN $3 PLASTIC BRACELETS BACKED BY UR UNEXPECTEDLY KLEPTOMANIAC SISTER AND A BASKET OF STOLEN WOMANS DAYS AND ALONG WITH BLING BLING JIMMY WE WILL RESTORE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON THIS LOVELY EARTH

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGHT ABOUT UR MUM LIKE ACTUALLY ALL UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF WILD AND..... I AM AFRAID

OK OK IT MUST BE SAID CAROLINE HAS THE MOST AMAIZNG VOICE ????? EVER

like i love her voice sm SO FUCKING MUCH I TELL U i have never heard anything like it and i want caroline to like read me books for hours AND HOURS AND NARRATE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE because i love how unusually deep and shadowy her voice sounds like deep flowing river water or smth like i LOVE IT SO MUCH it. Is.So. Strange BUT I LOVE IT IT IS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING THROW A BUCKET AT ME I LOVE YOU

HAS A VIDEO OF HERSELF DOING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE AND I KNOW I HAVE PRAISED IT FOR TWO YEARS IN A ROW ALREADY LIKE @ ME PLZ CHILL BUT i will not i will NEVER it is solid entertainment a+++ QUALITY I AM LAUGHIGN IM LAUGHING I AM LAUGHING FOREVER those beautiful hops of pain across ur backyard ARE THE LAST THINGS I WANT TO SEE BEFORE GOD TAKES ME FROM THIS EARTH

WRONGFULLY FRAMED ME FOR HAVING SHIT DICK TENDENCIES AND THEN YELLED AT ME AND CALLED ME A GARAGE WHAT A BINCH I AM IN LOVE

loves yellow flowers AND ALL THE FLOWERS AND HEAVY ROSES AND IS A FULL OUT FLOWER HOE

IS DESPICABLE TEEN WOLF GARBAGE LIKE.... ive been scrolling through our fanmails AND MY HEART HUR T S G O A T Y hOld mE we were sO Y O U N  G and like no lie i shit u not 80% oF THE FUCKING MESSAGES ARE U YELLING 'STYDIA IS GONNA HAPPEN THIS SEASON' AND 'OH MY GOD DID U SEE THAT STYDIA SCENE' AND DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR LYDIA MARTIN AND THE OTHER 20% IS U ASKIN ME IF IVE SEEN THE NEW TEEN WOLF I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY TEEN WOLF KEEPS DISAPPOINTING US BOTH BUT STDYIA IS. DEFINIETELY. GONNA. HAPPEN. THIS. SEASON. IT HAS TO OR I WILL FUKIN FITE ALRIGHT GIVE US STYDIA OR GIVE US DEATH I LOVE UR TEEN WOLF LOVIBG ASS

anyway caroline is an utterly excellent person

if u were an ncea paper i would grade u with excellence

*FINGER GUNS*

like ?????deals with my stupid yelling ALL THE TIME

whenever i had a problem and went to my goaty she was so very understanding and patient AND DID NOT CALL ME A DUMBASS WHEN I DESERVED TO BE DECKED

TOLD ME THE TRU DEFINTION OF THE PHRASE 'SHOT'

TWO YEARS OF UTTER CONFUSION. ERASED FROM MY LIFE. PERMANENTLY.

MY SKIN?? CLEARED . MY FUTURE BILLS ??? PAID MY HUSBAND MARRIED MY STATUE FOR CAROLINE FULLY ERECTED

ok but like i can never say this enough goaty IS SO NICE TO TALK TO PLETAHE TALK TO ME FORVER SHE IS FABULOUS??? it blows my mind constantly that someone this incredible and special walks along this earth NONE OF US DESERVE THE GOAT

also ???? WHAT IN THE FUCK HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS YET CAROLINE IS THE BEST WRITER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE SHE IS SO TALENTED EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF HER FICS I END UP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS FOR 958495894 YEARS ALRIGHT THEY FUCK ME UP THEY WAY SHE HANDLES WORDS FUCKS ME UP HOW CAN YOUT TAKE FUCKING LETTERS AND THEN SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS LIKE THIS I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I am Not Strong Enough For This

i am not even kidding ok THE WAY U HANDLE WORDS IS IN.FUCKING.CREDIBLE whenever u use them its like?? u turned them into something precious and all your writing have this feel to it like as if im holding a delicate bouqet of a thousand yellow flowers like im holding a butterfly in my hands like im holding a box of eggs and i am scared shitless to drop it bC MY DAD WILL PERSONALLY CRUCIFY ME

I AM AWFUL AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT I HOPE U SEE WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. IT IS SO *SCREAMS* MINBLOWING DECK ME WITH ALL UR WORDS EVER

I AM ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT NEVER OKAY WITH ANYTHING YOU WRITE IT HURTS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT

ok ok this hoe right here has written THREE fics with a dedication for me at the beginning and like.............. ..... do u ever just cri

i have 'the glorious everywhere' printed out and FUCKING PINNED TO MY WALL WHERE I CAN SEE IT FROM ALL CORNERS OF MY ROOM ALWAYS back in my apartment in russia like it is legitimately the best thing. i love everything about this piece it should be adapted into a novel or a short film like PULL SOME FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHIT W/ IT OK the imagery and REALNESS of this fic gets to me all the time and im crying im crying im crying I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT PLS @ CAROLINE WHY ARE U SO TALENT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCKIG I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP FUCKING LOOK ' You see her hair dripping down her head and spinning out over the seats in the back and lighting them on fire. You see her pale skin and electric veins as she puts her hand out the window and tries to catch the sky and stuff it up her sleeve. You hear her voice, “Just drive James, you’ll know where we’re going when we get there.”  

REALLY I AM NOT FUCKIGN Okay CALL AN AMBULANCE CALL IT NOW I AM UNWELL I AM SICK I AM DYING FUK ME RITE UP

i am fully convinced this is the greatest thing thats ever been written.like. How. the. FUCK. tbh i want this paragraph ENTIRELY TATTOOED ON MY ASS I AM ZCRYING @ CAROLINE YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN AND I AM SO VERY GLAD THAT IT EXISTS

i will not go into depth abt yelling about ur fics bc tbh i think u Know but I JUST WANNA SAY 'oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)' is the most iconic piece of literature to this day ever the and i zcri all the time because you are a goddamn bloody genius and you shine in colours beyond my comprehension and i love you so so so incredibly much

MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED I AM YELLING I AM YELLING I AM YELLING

DOESN'T EAT FRIED SPERM

writes the BEST emails in history

UR SO LOVELY U GIVE ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SPELLING ERRORS FOR ME TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENJOY I AM GIGGLING *GIGGLES* IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY WHEN U FUCK THINGS UP

tbh it is how fried chair came to life like it was actually in one of your first fanmails to me u said that two years ago and to this day it remains the Most Iconic Thing Ever

STRONG SUPPORTER OF WEETBIX

LOVES WEETBIX

FOUGHT TIGERS AND LIONS FOR HER FAMILY AND WAS SAVED BY WEETBIX AND WEETBIX ALONE 

ACTUALLY HAD A THING CALLED ‘WEETBIX DISCOURSE’ ON HER BLOG LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENED A REAL THING THAT OCCURED AND WAS PASSIONATELY ARGUED ABOUT AND I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

RIGHTFULLY SO BC WEETBIX >>>>> JONAH GRIGGS I AM SORRY IT IS THE RULES

FUCK THE H8RS

like ??? is hilarious af QUEEN OF HUMOUR AND MAKING ME SNORT MY GODDAMN CHOCLATE MILK LIKE CAN U NOT BE SO EXCEPTIONAL U HO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION U LIL BITCH but YES a++ top notch QUALITY storytelling skills in both fic writing and tequila struggles I APPRECIATE IT TO DEATH

ok ok ok also the most beautiful person ever??? LIKE ???????????????? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ??????????????????????????????????????????????? WHO ALLOWED U

THE MOST PERFECT HAIR. ur hair is like waves of a golden ocean cascading from ur hEAD AND IT IS SO MAGICALLY FITTING B/C U R AN ETHEREAL BEING AND THE FACT THAT U HAVE AN ENTIRE WILD SEA RAGING ON UR HEAD JUST PROVES TO ME THAT U ARE A GOD AMONG MORTALS. UR HAIR IS SO PRETTY OK OK OKAY FUCK ME UP. STRAIGHT UP GORGEOUS. SO SOFT TOO AND SO SHINY AND IT FITS U SO WELL I AM FOREVER SCREAMING

THE MOST ANGEL FACE. GOATYS FACE LOOKS LIKE GOD OR WHOEVER THE FUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE CARVED IT OUT OF ROSE PETALS AND MARBLE LIKE. IT. IS. TRULY. THE MOST GORGEOUS THING ur face is softer than clouds tbh AND UR SMILE SAVES MY LIFE ITS BRIGHTER THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONDENSED AND SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE UR SELFIES I HAVE TO GO GET LASER EYE SURGERY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN B L I N D E D

U R SO UNCONSIDERATE TO MY FRAGILE HEALTH HOW DARE YOU

SO. GODDAMN GORGEOUS SLAY MY ENTIRE LIFE I BEG U ID PAY U TO SIT ON ME WITH UR HUGE BONES AND SLOWLY CRUSH ME INTO AN ENDLESS DEATH I HAVE $4 LEFT OVER FROM MY LIFE SAVINGS DO IT BAE

has the best taste in music omg WHAT A BLESSING WE LIKE THE SAME SONGS AND IT ACTUALLY KIND OF SCARES ME B/C IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON AND THIS DOES NOT HELP MY CONSTANT STATE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

HAS THE BEST TASTE IN BOOKS and adores skam as much as i do AND LOVES CHRIS/EVA AS MUCH AS IDO AND WROTE A FIC FOR THEM AND THE SNIPPET FROM IT ????? MY SOUL. GONE.

so tol and will never stop accusing me of being smol but listen up aight. imma FUCK YOU UP. REAL GOOD. ONE DAY. WHEN I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A LADDER. UNTIL THEN SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BINCH BC I AM COMING TO GET U

and is also the smartiest smart to ever smart LOOK AT MY U GO WITH UR EXCELLENCE ENDORSEMENT when i buy that ladder I WILL CLIMB IT AND HOVER AROUND UR HEAD LOTS SO I CAN ABSORB UR POWERS AND ALSO BREATHE THE FRESH AIR UP THERE WHICH IS NOT AVAILABLE TO GROUNDED PEASANTS SUCH AS ME

AND IS THE BEST COOKIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE IF THIS ISNT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT CAROLINE IS BEYOND EXCEPTIONAL FOR OUR GALAXY THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF PLS OK

like honestly,,, MY LOVE I COULD GO ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND CENTURIES UNTIL MY TEETH FALL OUT AND I GROW SENILE WITH MY LOVE BUT THE POINT OF THIS HOT STEAMING LAME MESS IS THAT I LOVE YOU TO BLOODY PIECES UR SO F U C K I N G INCREDIBLE I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU AND THAT YOU TAlk TO ME AND WE EMAIL EACH OTHER AND I AM BLESSED THAT YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT FREID CHAIR LOVES ME AND THAT U R MY GOAT BC UR MY ONLY GOAT AND UR THE BEST ONE THERE IS NO SHADE @ ALL OTHER GOATS BUT LIKE. IM SORRY I CANNOT TELL A LIE

IT IS THE COLD HARD TRUTH. 

and like??? i did a /search/deadgwen ON @jiilys BC I WANTED TO LOOK AT ALL OUR OLD STUFFS FROM 2015 and I Regret it I Regret it So Much theres a selfie from like when i was 14 and an idiot still on Ur blog and I look like an actual tragedy I Want to Die  we have known each other for so long its RIDICULOUS UR STILL AS AMAZING AS U WERE BACK THEN AND I AM MORE OR LESS CURED OF MY CONDITION OF BEING AN EMBARASSING DIPSHIT AND ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH YOUNGER WE WERE THEN LIKE UM WTF BUT UR STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AND 9384930X TIMES MORE AND I STILL LOVE U BC UR PERFECT AS EVER AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS

NOW. I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU A PRESENT LIKE I REALLY DID BAE I TRIED SO MUCH SHIT ITS HORRIBLE BC LIKE ??? I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A PRESENTATION ON UR GOAT SUPERIORTY LIKE I DID LAST YEAR EXCEPT Like i am a fucking asshole™(COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE MAN TEH MYTH THE LEGEND) who cannot do shit FOR SHIT it turned out so Awful and i cANNOT GRAPHIC BABE I TRIED TO MAKE YOU THIS EDIT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS Bad AND FOUGHT MYSELF FOR SIX HOURS AND I CANNOT WRITE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE GIFTS EVER BUT I AM TRULY AWFUL

*ZCRIES*

I KNOW IM  LAME AND MY ONLY TALENT IS YELLING FOR HOURS ON END I WISH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL BC ITS UR SEVENTEETH AND 17 IS THE BEST NUMBER AND UR LOVELY AND I LOVE YOU SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME BAE FOR BEING AN ACTUAL GARAGE ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE EXPERIENCE) SHIT DICK 100% TERRIBLE DICKFLUTE OKAY I LOVE YOU AND I CAN NEVER IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD YEAR LIKE FUCK SHIT UP BAE UR GONNA BE IN YEAR 13 ITS ALL GONNA BE SO AWFUL AND WE WILL ALL DIE aND WERE SO O L D JESUS CHRIST IF HEART ATTACKS DONT TAKE US OUT NCEA LEVEL 3 WILL BUT I HOPE THIS WILL BE A SUPER GOOD YEAR FOR U IN REGARDS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT I HOPE THINGS WILL LEAD UP TO U GETTING THAT APARTMENT IN NEW YORK AND ALL THE HIGH HEELS THAT U WILL WEAR AND ALL THE YELLOW FLOWERS THAT U WILL BUY AND UR CAREER AS A LIFECHANGING LITERARY GENIUS OK OK I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

ok ok ok but. 

ONE MORE THING.

LISTEN.

THE FUCKING

*CLECNHES JAW*

REBLOG FIASCO

*FLINGS MY ASS INTO THE SUN*

WHEN IT IS GOOD AND DAYLIGHT. U HAVE UNTIL THEN. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH AND I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF HWO COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU I FUCKING FUCK JUST FUCK YOU FUCKING DICK i will RIOT 

OKAY BABE ITS MIDNIGHT AND ILL BE UP IN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND LIKE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING ELSE FOR UR BIRTHDAY WISH OK BABE IM GONNA FUCKING DIE THIS IS IT THIS THE END I WILL GO DOWN SWEARING PROFUSELY WITH A HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND U WILL BE WATCHING AND LAUGHI G ANF @OFFICALTALL FUCK YU FUCKDUCKUD CUDCKUD DNUSJNDJF FUCK U @GOATY FUCK. UFCN WHERE IS UR HOOF WHY ARE U NOT FEELIN THE TEMPERATURE ITS EBOLA ITS GOATBOLA I WONT MAKE IT UNTIL DAWN I WONT SEE THE SUNLIGHT GOATY I CANT *FAKE CRYING SOUNDS* I WILL DIE. IT WILL HAPPEN. AND I WANT IT TO BE KNOWN THAT U ARE THE BITCH THAT KILLED ME. *MORE FAKE ZCRYING SOUNDS* I MUST SEND MESSAGES TO ALL MY DEAREST KIND FRIENDS WHO HAVE NEVER FUCKED ME LIKE THIS ALRIGHT *FAKE COUGHING* TELL THEM THAT I *MORE FAKE COUGHOGN* LOVE THEM *THROWS KETCHUP PACKET EVERYWHERE WHILE UR NOT LOOKING AND BUSY BEING WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH* AND I WILL REMEMBER THEM EVEN IN DEATH

ANYWAY HERE IS MY WILL:

WHAT U GET:

nothing

u get nothing

bINCH

zero. zip. nada

0 potato 4 u

U CAN HAVE THE SALT FROM MY KITCHEN SO U WILL BE PERPETUALLY REMINDED OF MY LAST EMOTIONS TOWARDS THIS LIFE

maybe like the one half a potato that was randomly in my drIVEWAY THAT ONE TIME 

M A Y B E

WHAT GOOD KIND LOVING FRIENDS, SUCH AS MILS AND FRIED CHAIR AND ELLIE AND OTHER ASSORTED PEOPLES WHICH I SHALL ADDRESS IN CLAUSE 4.20 OF THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MY WILL, GET:

actually mils is a hoe and can choke but u r the evil here rn aND FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS ARGUMENT WE WILL PRETEND THAT I LIKE MILS

ANYWAY. REALLY GOOD THINGS I OWN

I HAVE SOME SOCKS I DONT WANT U GUYS CAN HAVE THEM

AND LIKE

MY DUVET

SEE GOATY THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEART TOUCHING POST DEATH GIFTS U MISS OUT ON WHEN U MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD

ALSO NO TOUCHING MY MANGOES THAT I BOUGHT TWO DAYS AGO BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO EAT THEM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL BEAT THEM UNCONSCIOUS WITH A TELEPHONE THIS IS A T H R E A T

I HOPE UR TAKING NOTES AND I HOPE U FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A 6′3 KILLER BECAUSE UR AN ASSHOLE ™LIKE UR ASSHOLIER™ THAN THE REAL ASSHOLE THAT IS JONAH GRIGGS™ THE LABEL™ (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS™ THE ANT MURDERING HOT PIECE OF ASS™) BUT I WILL DIE FOR U MY GOAT *strokes ur pretty face* BC IT IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH FOR ME TO SUFFER AND I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR U THEREFORE . DESPITE THIS SICKNESS *FLAILS* I. WILL. BE. BRAVE. I WILL REBLOG THOSE TWENTY POSTS I WILL FLATLINE BY THE THIRD POST AND MY BLOOD WILL BE ON UR HANDS *CAREFULLY ARRANGES MY STUNT GOAT IN POSITION* AND I WILL BE YELLING CURSES AT YOU IN THE TAGS BUT I WILL DIE IN THE NAME OF HONOUR I WILL GO DOWN AS A GOAT NEVER HAS BEFORE 

BUT LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC I AM SO HAPPY U EXIST. HAVE THE BOMBEST ASS 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE I HOPE UR PARTY IS LIT AND HAVE FUN GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING ALL THE BANTS AND LAFFS AND ALSO I WILL SEND U THE AWAITED EMAIL IN A FEW HOURS WHEN MY INTERENT IS BACK ON  BECAUSE IT IS A CONTINUATION OF THIS BULLSHIT WITH SOME STRUCTURED DISCUSSION AKA WHAT THE FUCK DO U HAVE AGAINST SMIRNOFF ICE how is it not HARDCORE enough for u IT IS LITERALLY FLAVOURED VODKA DOES IT NOT KNOCK OUT UR 6′3 ASS OR WHAT EXCUSE ME 

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION.

HAPPY. SEVENTEENTH. BIRTHDAY. MY. CHUM.

*BLOWS U A KISS*

*PUTS ON TWO FÜR COATS TO REMAIN UNDETECTED* 

*STEALS ALL UR WEETBIX AND RUNS AWAY TO ALASKA NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN*

*still replies ur emails tho cuz i love u bitch y u do dis to me*

[eternaltchotchke]

Aight and here's all the shit I got plus all the badges I could find for the years I've been to Sabo. 

I'll put a read more about like. Everything because I admittedly wanna talk about it, like Sabo as a whole because like I said in my last post, I think that's gonna be the last Saboten I'm going to...at least unless I do a booth. But that's besides the point. So yeah read more if you wanna read all my nostalgia shit. Stop here if you're good, lol. I’m warning you, it’s fucking long AF.

2009: My second ever convention. I actually got to go because a friend of mine got tickets for her birthday and she invited me to go with her. I was, like, the kind of person I think her parents wanted her to be like? ‘Cause at the time I was a nerd, but I was introverted and I think they were under the impression that I was a good christian straight girl(™) and well. Lol, neither of us were. This was way before I ever tried doing cosplay, and well, technically I did a really shitty Misty at PCC that same year, but like. OMG. It was terrible. I think this was the year I did a ‘lolita?’ outfit? But really it was just me trying to be edgy. It was kind of cute, but man, I would never wear it today.

2010: So this was senior year of high school and the con was actually at the Hilton just down the street from my school. It was my third convention and I got tickets for my friend and I invited my cousin, but he got food poisoning on one of the days he was going to go, so I ended up soloing it for the rest of the weekend. I went as Miki from Shugo Chara and...it was...bad, lol. I tried making the hat, and well, it was a craftfoam hat and everything else I just kind of found around the house. I don’t remember much else from this con to be honest, just that...I went as Miki for at least one day.

2011: This was the year that I got a lot more into Hetalia. I had just graduated from high school and was still kind of...figuring myself out. I dragged an, at the time, friend there with me to a Hetalia cafe and that was fun. I think that was the first time I’d had a con squish? Crush??? The America was mega cool and ooh, I know that was also the year I went to the Eyeshine concert! I was really into Johnny Yong Bosch’s voice ‘cause I was watching Code Geass and Bleach at the time, and well. I like voice actors a whole bunch? And the concert was really cool and I still have the video I saved from it...and yeah. Good times. Actually, p great times, heh.

2012: This was the year I finally went with con friends! God, it was such a good time because for once I had people to hang out with the whole weekend. I’d met a good majority of them at the last PCC and one of the main people I remember is Maddi who’s still one of my best of best friends. There’s also Sabby and again, one of the best friends a person can ever have. We weren’t close at the time, but I do have a pic with her in it? So. She was there. And I think one of the people in it is Hanna who is an awesome person and I love her so much. She’s great like, the coolest person and dang it all, I love my friends?

And then there are a lot of people that I hung out with at the time that...admittedly, I want to forget. One of them, I hate so very very much. Because they were a toxic person and terrible to my best friends and fuck, I wish I had actually stood up for my friends when I was younger and called out some of the shit they pulled because I should have. But. Well. Hindsight...and then the other? Well, I don’t hate but...I guess thinking back on things? It’s awkward and I was awkward and man, that was a...time. I see ‘em sometimes and it’s like, sweet bajeebus you haven’t changed at all.

There was a lot of shit that happened on the last day and like, one of it was there was a panel that didn’t go well and then the other was someone was kinda mega rude to a friend? And while yeah I understand their stance on things, they said things in a rude way that just...could’ve been said a lot better or at least in a kinder way.

But as a sidenote, that was the year I got Laboon! And I still have him, and I still love him. He’s a good whale.

2013: ...this was...the year of kind of an end to some things. But, the beginning of some really REALLY great things. This was the year I became really good friends with Jed, who is like, one of the best of best friends a person could have. He’s such a cool dude, and nerd, but also cool and I might not say it often enough but I’m really lucky to have become his friend. I gotta say that for all my friends, especially Sabby, Maddi, and Jed. I love y’all so much and really, I can’t imagine what my life would be like without y’all?

Anyway, this was the most stressful con I had ever been to. Admittedly? The first day was p good, I went as Cecil (here we go, Cecil version 1 lol) and Jed was Carlos and we had a good time all around. Theeeen Twitter ‘cause at the time, there was a lot of like...sonas for the websites and I was like, I have all that, I’ll be twitter! ...but I ended up having to wait a….long time for my friends to arrive and god, there was just...nothing but drama that day. It was not good.

Day 3 was 1000% better because me and Jed went back to Cecil and Carlos and all around that was just a dang good time. I think someone had actually told me that I was their headcanon Cecil? Which like. Literally made everything that weekend so much better because I was using my real hair (which at the time was sort of long) and I played up my brown skin. There were quite a few other Cecils, but from what I could remember, most of them were the blond white ones and that kind of helped me stand out.

Oh, and that was the first year we attempted flower crowns! Well, I tried, I literally got two garlands of roses and wrapped them around each other. We lost them on the first day, but another Carlos and Cecil found them, which was hilarious to me and I was really glad that happened actually, hah.

2014: HELL.

2015: --god no do you really wanna know about 2014? Okay one sec.

2014: So. I didn’t wanna pay for a ticket. I REALLY didn’t wanna pay for a ticket because also I was flat broke and honestly cons were so far out my price range at the time I shouldn’t have done it.

I did it anyway.

So 2014 was the year of volunteering and doing panels. It was also the first year we did a photo shoot, which was really fun and Maddi’s and Sabby’s were great. I still do love the ones we did for me and Jed, but there was something really nice and bright about the X-Ray and Vav stuff. To be completely honest? I don’t remember much like, for specifics of the con, just that we did panels and that I met a p cool Garrus cosplayer (who still cosplayed the same Garrus at PCC this year, and from the looks of it, it didn’t seem he made it at all more comfortable and I was like, DUDE. MAKE IT SO YOU CAN FREAKING SIT HOLY FUCK).

I’ve admittedly been going back through all my social media accounts to see if anything could jog my memory, and the only thing I remember clearly was that someone thought I was master chef in my Geoff cosplay and that was funny to me.

...I was also apparently America for a day. Which was p alright because I was admittedly a dang great America. Funny story, the only reason I know I was America was because someone from my past recognized us and snapped a pic. I’m like, looking at it and it’s just so funny to me that it turned out as good as it was for like, a really quick throw together thing.

2015: SHIT I HAD TO GO BACK TO MY OLD SHIT TO SEE WHAT THE HELL I WAS AND I FORGOT I THREW TOGETHER A CASUAL!DORIAN FOR THAT. Good fucking god, that’s hilarious, I was always somehow left tiddy commitee...even though it was a v casual Dorian, I guess I just had the right amount of hair for it, lol.

Also, it was the year that we did a panel for the Ladies of Hetalia and then we also did a Youtuber Let’s Players panel with prizes and I only remember spending the night before making those prizes, but the one that everyone really loved was the Geoff picture, which also was a fucking pain in the ass to make because would you be surprised that that picture was really hard to find a good enough quality one to print out? The best thing was though, that I kept running into the people who won the picture and I think some sort of cult formed around it. I’m not sure. I worry for that picture frame sometimes…

I think that was also the last time I cosplayed Cecil. Sabby was my Dana, which I mega appreciate her for, and I took a lot of liberties on my outfit...and based it much more heavily on the weirdness of Cec rather than the button up and tie version that was really popular. It was more fun just to do a Cecil cosplay TBH, and I actually can’t tell if Jed was there or not? I’m also not sure if Maddi was either...uhhh, most of the stuff I can find are selfies of me and Sabby which...I’m not sure of a lot of details actually.

2016: Man, that was the year of Undertale, Dragon Age, and Hamsteak. Er. Homestook. HOMESTUCK. Also the year I got a really nice camera to take pictures with. It was really fun because I got some great pics of our God Tier outfits and I’m still p happy with my Dave cape. Special thanks to Jed for making 99% of that hood. I still owe him a fuck ton.

This was also the year that me and Sabby went to a really fun quiz panel with an awesome Mettaton who is still p dang cool. I wasn’t sure if there was another this year? I don’t think I was able to make it to it, and I know that there was just so much work put into it, I was super blown away.

I also brought back Fen one last time, and that was fun. I dabbed for a dude and that made him super happy, then I just fucked around for the rest of the con. Ooh, also there was Naruto running. Late at night because also, sometimes you just gotta be a fucking loser with your friends. We...kind of started a whole thing? And I feel a little bad looking back on it? But it was at least, at first, just me and Hanna that Naruto ran down the empty hallway to Haruka Kanata and that was just. Such a fun time.

We did another photoshoot that year too, got some legit pics for hamsteak cosplays which was awesome. Then I had a lot of fun editing them. I’d say there’s more to say for this con, but...not really. Oh, but we did spend a lot of time in the activity lounge? Which I love the activity lounge ‘cause they have crayons and hang up your drawings on the walls and I did a ‘great’ drawing of Dave and Karkat that someone took home.

2017: So here we are, eight years later. To be honest? I was actually sort of dreading this con. There was so much just...not happening and I was feeling kind of eh...and I should’ve definitely gotten more done on Gabe but I didn’t. So instead I did Boxerwatch which was still fun, and my armor actually held up really fucking well. Which I was mega happy abound.

Saturday was kind of...a time. Like, I wanted to have fun, and I know I looked cool AF? But it was so hot and humid and I was in like, three layers of clothes and craftfoam and I didn’t bring a change of clothes. Which was stupid on my part. But! Jenny lent me her hot dog costume? Which literally made my day and it turned the whole thing from an /eh day to a THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER sort of time. I’m not gonna lie, I love wearing those mascot sort of costumes because the shenanigans you can have while wearing them. It’s just so good.

Sunday was awesome because I got to hang out with Clyde, Sam, Ray, and I met Keyboard who is p dang cool. Also, I met my hello new person quota of one, so, double accomplishment. On top of that? My armor held up ridiculously well that day and so did my shitty painted on beard and I was literally. So fucking comfortable. I know I was missing a fuck ton of things for Gabe but it worked out alright since I went with a mega casual version. I’m definitely gonna make sure I can wear that jacket anywhere I go though because I love it a bunch? And it was mega comfy. Plus I’m thinking of making the shoulder pads something permanent to the jacket so I could have my own Gabriel Reyes jacket to just. Wear and feel cool in. Well, not cool. More like fucking sweltering because also I live in AZ.

Monday was just a casual day. I think I’m coming down with something and I wasn’t gonna kill myself by wearing Hanzo so, I edged it up. I was kind of really bummed because the Eyeshine concert was cancelled and it was sort of the main thing I was looking forward to all weekend? But I think Sabo might have messed it up p badly because on the website they set it for Sunday at night, which would’ve been perfect ‘cause then all three of us could’ve gone. But the schedule moved it to Monday and I was sad ‘cause it was their farewell tour...and I kind of felt like it’d be just...one of the perfect ways to end my time going to Sabo.

And so yeah, that’s kind of it? Like, I definitely did have fun over the years, there was stress AF during some parts, but then there were some really really great times. I’ve sort of...lost a lot of interest in anime since I started going, and while I will admit, I do still enjoy watching it, I’m so choosy about what I like and what I’ll watch that a lot of the main things available at Sabo don’t interest me nearly as much. There’s one more anime cosplay I wanna do, and admittedly it’d be really freaking easy to pull off...just gotta get the stuff. But other than that single cosplay, I just...I would like to focus on different things. Plus, it’s just so hard to get stuff together because of the timing of it all. Working as a teaching assistant means that I have very little time during those weeks leading up to the con to do anything. The week before was kind of hell, as I had to stay on campus until at least 5:30 most days and god, I couldn’t work on really anything. That and I didn’t have the mental capacity to work on Gabe over the summer, plus I’d planned to have Cyberninja!Hanzo at least started but that just couldn’t happen.

But anyway, that’s it really! This turned out a lot longer than I meant for it to be and I’m probably going to cross post this onto my DeviantArt. So thank you Saboten-Con, it’s been one helluva ride. There were some ups, downs, turns, and spins and while some of those times really really sucked...there were many others that were just so great and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.