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mommyg2013 · 1 month ago

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Surviving the Holidays - 2024 Edition

Yesterday, he who shall not be named, turned the house upside down looking for batteries.

Batteries that were ordered on Amazon

Batteries that were boxed together with some other stuff

Batteries that were delivered two weeks ago

And you’re looking for it today? And showing us your cell phone with the ‘proof of delivery’ from Amazon. I have no doubt that those batteries were delivered. My doubt is that you’ll ever find them.

THOSE BATTERIES ARE GONE

Somewhere in the flurry of boxes and packages and shit of the last 3 weeks, those batteries have GONE.

First of all, why does one have to order batteries online? Or hair gel? Or multivitamins? Regular grocery store stuff. And then we get yelled at

“Don’t open my boxes”

“If you see my name on it, don’t open it”

PFFFTTTTTT

If I see your name on it, I will MOST ESPECIALLY be opening it. It gives me great delight to see your generic random brand hair gel.

We’ve survived the holidays. There has been some yelling.

There’s this pattern in our house. When I yell at the Other Adult, within the next five minutes, he’s yelling at the kids. And then you’ll see Saanya doing one of the chores that he was assigned to do. Never Soha. Soha has this rare ability to evaporate when there’s work to be done. Like a genie from a lamp. Never to be found again.

Soha’s second talent is DEFLECTION

I was here minding my own business, you yelled at me and now my feelings are hurt. I can’t help you with your chores because I’m so upset. In fact I’m so upset that I need to go to my room and be alone.

DEFLECTION

And so 15 minutes after I’ve yelled I’ll see poor Saanya sweeping out the garage, with a broomstick twice her size.

At a recent gathering, we were going around the room sharing 2025 goals/resolutions. The kids spoke about various goals – blackbelt in karate, Honors class in something, climb Mount Everest, scale the Great Wall of China and I’m standing at the perimeter wondering what my kids are going to share.

And finally it was their turn.

Said one “I want to be good about brushing my teeth twice a day”

All that blood and sweat and working my tail off so my kids brush their teeth twice a day.

In all the cleaning and tidying, I discovered that the Other Adult has a BULB BIN. A bin where dead bulbs go to rest. And we’re saving these dead bulbs just in case the tungsten filament comes back to life and the bulbs start working again.

We also collect Home Depot RECEIPTS (of dead bulbs)

Speaking of RECEIPTS, Middle school has brought us all sorts of new adventures. One such adventure is that Soha can now use the campus bookstore to buy stuff. Stuff that gets charged to a student account. I only get to see the RECEIPT at the end of the month.

The first few months were fairly banal.

Oreos

Goldfish

More Goldfish

Then last month

FLASHCARDS and POST ITS

What!!! Why are you spending good money, my money, on POST ITS. That’s what the office supply closet is for. Everybody knows that the office supply closet at work is for home supplies – especially POST ITS. But my kid thought it’s okay to pay four times the price for something I have always got for FREE.

Gah!

I decided to not make a big deal out of it, though it really pained me to be paying for post-its.

Back to the Holidays, Santa is a little upset with me because I returned one of his gifts.

It was a beautiful, pure wool, designer brand PONCHO.

Except that I don’t do ponchos.

I look like a tent as is, I really don’t need to be wearing one. Folks be thinking the circus is in town.

It came with a matching beanie. Super cute, if you’re skinny. Or 25. Or both.

Now Santa is busy listing all the gifts from events past that I haven’t used or have returned. “I’ve never seen you wear the tennis bracelet”. The one from 2011?

One of these days I’m going to wear all my gifts, from the last 16 years, all at once and take a picture. The circus will really be in town.

It's the new year and we're aiming high this year.

Lose some weight

Don't lose Amazon packages

Brush twice a day

Maybe floss.....

Happy New Year!

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mylistofmovies · 1 year ago

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2023

sluberland

pinocchio

the menu

puss in boots the last wish

the green knight

meet cute

aftersun

amsterdam

ella enchanted

i used to be famous

to leslie

you people

the fabelmans

shotgun weeding

babylon

triangle of sadness

spoiler alert

somebody i used to know

my fake boyfriend

lady chatterley’s lover

emergency

the whale

knock at the cabin

your place or mine

long weekend

a man called otto

cocaine bear

we have ghost

80 for brady

operation fortune russe de guerre

my policeman

goodnight mommy

the pale blue eye

the good nurse

the abyss

murder mystery 2

a futile and stupid gesture

champions

shazam fury of the gods

65 millions years ago

ant man and the wasp quantumania

call jane

the amazing maurice

what’s love got to do with it

lars and the real girl

reinfield

the donor party

dungeons and dragons honor amongst thieves

the super mario bros the movie

robots

jonh wick chapter 4

magic mike last dance

mathilda the musical

mafia mamma

air

peter pan and wendy

crater

the portable door

beau is afraid

book club the next chapter

one true loves

armageddon time

maggie moore (s)

are you there god? it’s me margaret

hocus pocus

about my father

fool’s paradise

guardians of the galaxy vol 3

mona lisa and the blood moon

maybe i do

book club

you hurt my feelings

knights of the zodiac

opening night

somewhere in queens

love again

someone great

robin robin

the outlaws

best in show

asteroid city

dear zoe

the estate

bird box barcelona

the kids are all right

the flash

ruby gillman teenage kraken

transformers rise of the beasts

outside in

barbie

no hard feelings

the little mermaid

namona

oppenheimer

joy ride

the chronicles of narnia the lion the witch and the wardrobe

the chronicles of narnia prince caspian

the chronicles of narnia the voyage of dawn treader

happiness for beginners

the house

tourist guide to love

spiderman across the spiderverse

duck butter

red white and royal blue

the adventures of priscilla queen of the desert

elemental

little shop of horrors

the adults

confess, fletch

infity pool

hot fuzz

nightbooks

meg 2 the trench

past lives

you are so not invited to my bat mitzva

the world's end

white noise

the wedding singer

tour de pharmacy

the last voyage of the demeter

teenage mutant ninja turtles mutant mayhem

theater camp

the afterlife of the party

the beanie bubble

bottoms

how do you know

strays

scooby doo and krypto too

the monkey king

love at first sight

when you finish saving the world

cassandro

haunted mansion

puppy love

totally killer

nandor fondor and the talking mongoose

hubbie halloween

no one will save you

killers of the flower moon

strange way of life

chicken run

pain hustlers

five nights at freddy's

nightmare before christmas

hocus pocus 2

a haunting in venice

if you were the last

quiz lady

a good person

fools rush in

nyad

she came to me

foe

lego avengers code red

the creator

hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes

trolls band together

paint

leo

ode to joy

cabaret

fingernails

may december

freelance

leave the world behind

cat person

genie

vacation friends 2

chicken run the dawn of the nugget

saltburn

elf

the wonderful life of henry sugar

the rat catcher

poison

the swan

family switch

exmas

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weekendwarriorblog · 6 years ago

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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND May 25, 2019 - ALADDIN, BOOKSMART, BRIGHTBURN

It’s the Memorial Day weekend of one-word-titled movies, because yes, “Booksmart” and “Brightburn” are indeed single words, as much as I want to make them two words each. Sadly, I’m still running behind on stuff, and I’ve only seen a few movies, so we’ll see how I do this week. (Sadly, it’s looking more and more like this column is going to have to be put on hiatus so I can focus on paying work.)

Hey, look, it’s another Disney movie I haven’t seen yet for reasons I won’t get into. Anyway, I have a ticket to see Guy Ritchie’s ALADDIN (Walt Disney Pictures) on Friday, not because I necessarily need to see Will Smith as the Genie. In fact, I’ve never even seen the original animated movie or the musical, but I am a fan of Ritchie and his work and want to give it a look.

Fortunately, I have seen Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut, the raunchy R-rated comedy BOOKSMART, being released by U.A. Releasing moderately wide, and I have to say that it’s pretty effin’ funny with a really talented young cast, led by Beanie Feldstein (Ladybird) and Kaitlyn Dever (Detroit), who could very well be the Jonah Hill and Michael Cera for a new generation. While I hate to outright call the movie Superbad for women, it’s definitely a movie in that vein but this one from a teen girl’s point of view. It also has some amazing side characters, particularly the one played by Billie Lourde, who is quite hilarious (and isn’t even in any of the trailers!). While I saw the movie too long ago to write a full-on review, this is the movie of the weekend I recommend more than any other movie, regardless of your age and gender. Its 99% on Rotten Tomatoes is no fluke!

Lastly, there’s Screen Gems’ BRIGHTBURN, which is a dark take on superheroes from one of James Gunn’s brothers and one of his cousins, and of course, James Gunn produced it. It’s directed by David Yarovesky, who has done some shorts and music videos, and it stars Gunn regular Elizabeth Banks, who appeared in Slitherway back in the day, as well as David Denman, plus Jackson Dunn as Brandon Breyer, the young kid with superpowers. Since I’ve seen this one more recently, here’s my….

MINI-REVIEW: Anyone who reads a lot of comics might be aware of the concept of “Elseworlds,” essentially DC’s version of a “What If?.” If you consider yourself a connoisseur of good comics than you probably have read Alan Moore’s “Miracleman” comics. The general idea was to look at what happens when someone with superpowers allows the powers to go to their head, and they use those powers for evil purposes. It’s even more interesting when said person is still a child without the maturity needed to handle having such power.

In that sense, Brightburn isn’t a completely original idea, though it is for the world movies where there haven’t been that many alternate superhero films, let alone ones treated like horror. It takes the mythos of DC Comics’ Superman, of a baby from another alien taken in by a kindly Kansas couple, then twists it into a gory horror movie. It also deals with something I’ve always found interesting in what a kid might do if they discover they have superpowers and whether they would use them to get revenge on their oppressors, even if it’s their parents. Going by this film written by James Gunn’s brother and cousin, then the answer is “Yes.”

Brightburn begins with Elizabeth Banks and David Denman as a young couple trying to have a kid when a meteor lands nearby. We then see a montage of young Brandon Breyer growing from a baby to a pre-teen boy, and we see that he’s been having difficulty adjusting to school and life in Kansas

The results aren’t perfect and some of my issues might be due to how much is given away in the trailers, but in terms of combining things I like – superheroes and creepy kids who go on a wanton killing spree – it’s a high concept that keeps you entertained for all 90 minutes without a dull moment. That has much to do with David Yarovesky’s direction, as he has all the faculties needed to make a solid horror film, including some highly disturbing gory scenes, but also his small but capable cast.

Kind of the ultimate Richard Donner mash-up – part-Superman,part-The Omen– Brightburn isn’t perfect, but it’s a conceit that actually works to create a fun and gory time that’s more horror than superheroics.

RATING:7/10

You can read what I think of the above’s box office prospects over at The Beat.

LIMITED RELEASES

I wish I could say that I’ve seen more of this weekend’s limited release, but I’ve only watched a couple of them.

Opening at the Metrograph Friday is Gabriel Abrantes and Daniel Schmidt’s surrealist comedy DIAMANTINO (Kino Lorber), an odd Portugal-set film about a world-famous soccer superstar, Carloto Cotta, who gets caught up in a controversy over statements made about refugees. He has some evil twin sisters who like glomming onto their brother’s fame and fortune, as well as a government conspiracy. It’s a rather amusing and entertaining film for sure, which reminded me of some of the stranger films of Jean-Pierre Jeunet or Terry Gilliam, but it won’t be for everyone.

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Opening on Wednesday i.e. today is Noble Jones’ THE TOMORROW MAN (Bleecker Street), starring John Lithgow as a cranky survivalist Ed Hemsler who meets Blythe Danner’s Ronnie Meisner, who he sees as a like-minded individual. This is another boring romance movie geared towards the over-50s (that me)that doesn’t really go anywhere, and I couldn’t even enjoy it for the performances by the two leads because the material just wasn’t up to snuff.

Jill Magid’s doc THE PROPOSAL (Oscilloscope) is about architect Luis Barragan, whose work was locked away in a Swiss bunker on his death in 1988, which the filmmaker has tried to bring to light as she negotiates with those keeping charge of it. Opening in L.A. at the Landmark as well as the Quad Cinemathis weekend is Frédéric Tcheng’s doc HALSTON (1091) about designer Roy Halston Frowick, who rose to fame in the ‘70s.

Next up is a trio of music docs beginning with the one I’ve seen, Barak Goodman’s Woodstock: Three Days That Defined A Generation (PBS Distribution / American Experience FIlms), which premiered at Tribeca and will get a nominal theatrical release before airing on PBS. (It will be celebrating is 50thAnniversary in August, too!) As someone who admired the more famous 1970 Woodstock concert film by Michael Wadleigh – it even won the Oscar for documentary that year! – but Goodman’s movie finds new avenues into the 1969 music and art festlval by showing its development and the lead-up to the festival as well as all the problems it faced along the way. Probably the more interesting aspect of the movie is Wavy Gravy’s contribution to the festival security with his commune of artists who actually end up saving the day more than once. (This doc will also premiere at the Quad this weekend with special guests.)

Having special shows across the country tonight and again on May 29 is Tom Jones’Asbury Park: Riot, Redemption, Rock n’ Roll (Trafalgar Releasing) about how the power of music and musicians like Steven Van Zandt, Southside Johnny Lyon, and of course, Bruce Springsteen, helped save the troubled Jersey town. You can get tickets for these special shows at the official site.

Another neighborhood music community is being honored in Andrew Slater’s Echo in the Canyon (Greenwich), which celebrates the music coming out of Laurel Canyon in the mid-60s including the Byrds, the Beach Boys, Buffalo Sprinfield and the Mamas and the Papes aka the California Sound.It opens in L.A. Friday and then in New York on May 31.

If you happened to see Paul Rudd in the film The Catcher Was a Spy last year, then you might be interested in learning more about his character Moe Berg, Aviva Kempner’s’s doc The Spy Behind Home Plate, which opens in Washington, DC this Friday and then In New York, Philly and other markets on May 31.

Gotta start wrapping up here but there’s also Rob Heydon’s thriller Isabelle (Vertical Entertainment), starring Adam Brody and Amanda Crew; as well as the Scott Adkins action-thriller Avengement (Samuel Goldwyn), directed by Jesse V. Johnson.

STREAMING AND CABLE

The movie I’m most excited about this weekend is for people to see Richard Shepard’s THE PERFECTION, streaming on Netflix Friday. It stars Allison Williams from Get Outand Logan Browning (Dear White People), and I’m not really sure what I can say about it, since I don’t want to spoil your experience. I can say that Williams plays a cello prodigy who has been off the circuit for a few years. When she returns, Browning’s character has kind of taken her place, but the two become close… and then stuff happens. Crazy stuff… stuff that you’re not going to forget anytime soon. But if you liked Get Out and Us and last year’s Hereditary, you’re probably going to like this movie that premiered at Fantastic Fest, as well. I’ve loved Shepard’s dark sense of humor from movies like The Matador and Dom Hemingway, and he has two terrific stars in this one, who seem to be up for whatever is thrown their way… and a LOT is thrown their way. I also got to interview Richard for the fourth time recently, which you can read over at The Beat.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

This year’s 26th New York African Film Festival begins on Thursday at the BAMCinematek in Brooklyn with FilmAfrica, a series of fairly recent films from a continent that just doesn’t get enough attention in the cinematic world. The opening night of the BAM leg is Jahmil X.T. Qubeka’sSew the Winter to my Sky, a Western-inspired heist film about South African bandit John Kepe. On Saturday, you can see Raoul (I Am Not Your Negro) Peck’s 2005 film Sometimes in April starring Idris Elba about the Rwandan genocide. The movie will then move next week to Film at Lincon Center, as the program continues through June 4, so I’ll write more about their offerings next week. The festival wraps up its last few days from June 5 to June 9 at the Maysles Cinema in Harlem. I honestly wish I had more time to see some of this series because it looks fantastic and many of the films may never get U.S. distribution, but I just have too much on my plate right now.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This weekend’s Late Nites at Metrograph is Katsuhiro Otomo’s Akira (1988) while the Playtime: Family Matinees is Jacques Perrin award-winning doc Winged Migration (2001) on Saturday and Sunday morning. New York Times critic Glenn Kenny is presenting Elia Kazan’s 1969 film The Arrangement, starring Kirk Douglas and Fay Dunaway, on Saturday while poet and novelist Barry Gifford is showing a double feature of Samuel Fuller’s Pickup on South Street (1953) and Jack Garfein’s The Strange One (1957) on Sunday.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Tarantino is in Cannes presenting his new movie (to absolute raves) but his rep theater is showing Vincente Minnelli’s 1953 film The Band Wagon starring Fred Astaire on Weds. afternoon. The week’s upcoming double features are Barbra Streisand’s Yentl (1983) and Crossing Delancey (1988) on Weds and Thurs., Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation (2003) and Somewhere (2010) on Friday/Saturday, and Honor Among Lovers (1931), Craig’s Wife (1936) and Sarah and Son (1930) in a Dorothy Arzner triple feature Sunday and Monday. The weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is the Tom Hanks-Penny Marshall movie Big (1988) and the midnight movies are the doc Full-Tilt Boogie (about the making of From Dusk til Dawn)on Friday and once again, The Love Witch, on Saturday. Next Monday’s matinee is the ensemble drama Now and Then (1995) and then Tuesday’s GRINDHOUSE double feature is Kao Pao-Shu’s Blood of the Dragon (1971) and The Master Strikes (1980).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is Penny Marshall’s A League of Their Own (1992), also starring Tom Hanks. Film Forum is also starting a new three-week 40-film (!) series called The Hour of Liberation: Decolonizing Cinema, 1966 – 1981, which includes screenings of The Battle of Algiers (1966), Ousmane Sembène’s Black Girl (1966) and other films imported from “Third World” countries with support from the Academ of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Concurrently, Film Forum is kicking off The Jewish Soul: Classics of Yiddish Cinema, which begins this weekend with the 1937 film The Dybbuk with a few other films running through June.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Cassavetes/Scorsese: Love is Strangecontinues with After Hours (1985) with Rosanna Arquette (!) and Gloria (1983) on Thursday and Raging Bull (1980) and The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (1976) on Friday. Personally, I wish I could be in L.A. Saturday for a six-film Godzilla-Thon that includes some of my favorite films from Toho including the original 1954 Gojira. Then Sunday, there’s a double feature of the Uganda-set Bad Black (2016) and Who Killed Captain Alex? (2010).

AERO (LA):

Not to be outdone by the Egyptian, the AERO presents a Memorial Day in 70mm with Hook (1991) on Thursday, a double feature of The Thing and Starmanon Friday, 2001: A Space Odyssey on Saturday and Lawrence of Arabia (1962) on Sunday. Have I mentioned how I’d love to live in L.A. this weekend?

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Back in New York, Fighting Mad: German Genre Films from the Marginscontinues through Thursday as well as the doc Doomed Love: A Journey Through German Genre Film.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

This week, the Roxy is showing Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette(2006) in 35mm, as well as a screening of Joanna Hogg’s Exhibition(2013). They’re also showing Patrick Wang’s recent A Bread Factory, Part One (Friday) and Part Two (Saturday).

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Waverly Midnights: Parental Guidance screens Rosemary’s Baby and Serial Mom on Memorial Day weekend, while Weekend Classics: LoveMom and Dad shows Ozu’s Late Spring (1949) and Late Night Favorites: Spring continues withDavid Fincher’sFight Club, Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

FILM OF LINCOLN CENTER(NYC):

This weekend, Lincoln Center begins its own Czech New Wave series with Ester Krumbachova: Unknown Master of the Czechoslovakia New Wave, running from May 24 through May 29. I still don’t know anything about the Czech New Wave then I knew a few months back, although apparently, she was a writer, director and costume designer and the series includes examples of all three.

MOMA (NYC):

It looks like Abel Ferrara: Unrated will run for the rest of the month, and this week, we get R’ Xmas (2001) on Wednesday, The Funeral (1996) on Thursday, 1989’s Cat Chaser on Friday and Saturday as well as Napoli (2009) on Saturday. Sunday sees Mary (2005) and Crime Story (1986). The Jean-Claude Carrière series continues with Luis Buñuel’s The Phantom of Liberty (1974) on Thursday, Milos Forman’s Valmont (1989) on Friday and Saturday, Cyrano de Bergerac on Friday and Sunday as well as Andrzej Wajda’s Danton (1983) plus more over the weekend. Basically, lots of interesting movie options.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

See It Big! Action is going full-throttle on Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible series, showing ALL SIX movies between Friday and Sunday. What a perfect Memorial Day treat! I wish I lived closer to Astoria, Queens.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

This Friday’s Midnight Movie is Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo(1958).

I also want to quickly add that the Maysles Cinema is having a Manfred Kirschheimer retrospective of sorts, in that it’s premiering his new movie Dream of a City, showing it with some of his earlier documentary works, both short and long format. Just another example of the amazing cinema that you can see in New York on any given day of the week.

#Aladdin Brightburn Booksmart MOvies Reviews limitedreleases repertory

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gracewithducks · 6 years ago

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Thy Kingdom Come (Luke 11:1-13; preached 7/28/19)

I’ve reached the point in my life where the things of my childhood have gone from being cool to embarrassingly out-of-style to nostalgic and vintage and now back to being in-style again. My kids wear their neon colored shirts while they watch My Little Ponies and Strawberry Shortcake and play with their Care Bears. Full House is back on TV; Teddy Ruxpin and Light-Brite and Lisa Frank and even jelly shoes are back in the stores, and when we go to McDonalds, the girls get mini Beanie Babies and Toy Story and Lion King toys.

Everything old is new again – or perhaps, like Ecclesiastes says, when you get old enough, you realize there really is nothing new under the sun. When we were up north, my father-in-law took the girls to the local movie theater to see the movie Aladdin – a movie I remember seeing in the theater when I myself was young.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie Aladdin yet, either the original or the remake, and if you haven’t – well, the original came out almost thirty years ago, so I think we’ve officially passed the point of spoiler alerts. But hopefully at the very least you know that in the story of Aladdin, when the lead character is down on his luck and out of options, he finds a magic lamp, which just happens to be home to a magic wish-granting Genie. Aladdin begins making wishes in an effort to turn his life around, to go from being a down-on-his-luck lonely nobody to become a man with money, with respect, and most important, with love.

It’s a Disney story – full of catchy songs and magic and a happy ending. And it’s a good movie. But for many of us, our idea of who God is and how God works – well, it looks an awful lot like that big blue Disney genie. God is the plot twist, who we don’t look for until we are in dire need. And like Aladdin, who only got three wishes, we think that we have to ration our requests – we don’t want to bother God or waste God’s help, so we save our prayers for a last resort, when we’re out of options and we really need it. And we’ve internalized the “be careful what you wish for” trope, trying to word our prayers carefully to avoid unintended consequences… and then, once we’ve reached the end of our rope, and rubbed the lamp and said the magic words – we anticipate that we will get exactly what we’re wishing for.

That may be how genies work in the stories, but we quickly discover, that’s not how prayer works. Even in the story, Aladdin finds out that magic wishes aren’t enough; the Genie tweaks circumstances and opens some doors, sure, but it’s up to Aladdin to take advantage of those opportunities, to walk through those doors, and his own character and heart are revealed along the way.

What is it, then, that happens when we pray? If it’s not magic – then what’s it all about?

Maybe it’s not magic, but there is something special, something unexpected and beyond explanation, that happens when we invite God into our lives, when we recognize God’s presence and we pour out our greatest joys and the deepest hurts of our hearts. And we believe that God hears, that God knows us, that God cares about all that matters to us – and it’s profound in a way that goes far beyond words.

Prayer can be powerful; there are times when we can feel God’s presence around us and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are not alone. But prayer isn’t magic. There are times when we pray, and it feels like we might as well be shouting into the wind; when we pray, but it feels like we are just talking to ourselves. And we wonder: where is God? What are we doing wrong? How is it that Jesus tells his disciples, “Ask, it will be given to you” – when so many of our most fervent and earnest prayers seem to go unanswered, and we keep looking for miracles that just don’t come? We pray every week here for the sick and the hurting – but not everybody recovers. We pray for the hungry, and they’re still hungry. We pray for peace, but war rages on.We pray and we pray – but it just isn’t enough.

No wonder Jesus’ disciples asked him, “Teach us to pray.” Prayer is messy and imprecise and uncertain; even if we have all the faith in the world, we can wonder what it’s all about.

So the disciples say, “Lord, teach us to pray.” It’s not like they haven’t prayed before; these were men who had grown up hearing the Torah and keeping the Sabbath and praying the psalms. But even these faithful men were looking for something new, something deeper, something more. Maybe they were hoping, on some level, for those magic words to make all their prayers come true.

Then again, when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, I think they were looking for more than magic words. In those days, learning your rabbi’s prayer meant you were learning your rabbi’s values and view of the world; you were learning and sharing your teacher’s way of life. That’s what the disciples are asking Jesus to share with them: not which buttons to push to make the heavenly vending machine give them what they want – but they are asking Jesus to teach them how to live. They’re saying, Show us what is important. Show us how to talk to God. Show us who God is, and who God wants us to be.

So Jesus says, “When you pray, say this: Father.” Now I know that language can be problematic; I know that we are much more sensitive and aware of gender issues than the world was two thousand years ago, and we are keenly aware of the weight of thousands of years of inherited misogyny. This one little word that Jesus uses – “Father” – this one name for God has, sadly, led to generation after generation of faithful people imagining that God is male, and so male humans more fully reflect the glory and the power of the divine. And I name that today. Our limited language has gotten in the way of our relationship with God, and with one another. I name the damage that our language for God has done, to women and to children and yes, to men, too, over the years – and on behalf of the church, I repent, and I am sorry.

“Father” can be a tricky and difficult name for God for many of us today. But if we can look past all that, just for a moment, I want us to recognize just how radical, how significant it is that, when Jesus teaches his disciples to pray, he starts with this name: by inviting them to imagine God not as an uncaring creator, to whom they must shout to get attention, nor as a distant judge, before whom the disciples need to grovel and beg… but Jesus uses the language of an intimate relationship, a family relationship, an inherent and blood relationship – he names God as the source of our being, in a very real way, as one who shares our very being, one who gives us our name and to whom we bear resemblance… and Jesus invites us to imagine God as the very best head of our family, head of household, that could ever be, one who offers protection and affection and unconditional love.

After all, Jesus says, even you will help a desperate neighbor in the middle of the night; even you will care for your hungry children… and if even you, the selfish messes that you are, know how to show love for your neighbors and your family, just imagine how much more God loves and cares for you.

Jesus says, when you pray, say, “Father.” More than that, Jesus has taught us to pray, “Our Father” – not my Father or almighty Father, but Our Father. This is a prayer meant to be prayed in community: Give us our daily bread, and forgive us as we forgive others… When we pray this prayer, we are reminded that we are not alone. God is with us, and we are also bound to one another, and we are bound to all those around the world who share this prayer: to our community, our family and our neighbors, and those who pray in churches and homes and hospital rooms and prison cells and wheat fields and refugee camps all around the world.

Jesus could have started many ways, but he starts here: with family, with community, with the reminder that we belong to one another, and we are not alone.

On then he continues: God who loves us, source of our being, hallowed by your name. Blessed be your name, holy and honored – and what we mean is, let us honor your name; let us live lives that bring honor and glory to you.

And then Jesus says, pray this: “God, may your kingdom come.”

Your kingdom come on earth, and this is what it looks like: it looks like all of us receiving the bread we need for today; it looks like a community of people who know that they’ve been forgiven, and who’ve learned how to forgive. This is what God’s kingdom looks like on earth: it looks like God’s people living into God’s kingdom, forgiving each other, caring for each other, as God has cared for us.

Praying “thy kingdom come” isn’t just about magic words, about sending our good thoughts out into the universe and then waiting for God to do the rest. Prayer isn’t like amazon.com, where you send in your order and wait for divine delivery person to drop it on your doorstep.

When we pray, “Thy kingdom come,” we commit ourselves to that kingdom. Thy kingdom come in my heart. Thy kingdom come in my life. Thy kingdom come through me. God, let your values, your priorities, your love and your grace shape me and guide me, and shape and guide us all.

In my studies this week, I read a theologian who reflected on how we often understand prayer: as a way of taking ourselves out of the equation, and putting the ball fully in God’s court. Just think of how we use and understand the phrase “thoughts and prayers” these days – it’s a socially acceptable way to say, I don’t really care about what you’re going through enough to actually do anything about it. I’ll say a few words into the universe, and then it’s God’s problem, not mine. But that’s not how prayer is meant to work. Instead, our prayers should teach us, should shape us, should move us to do something – “our lives become our prayers.”[1]

Think again about how incredible it is that, when Jesus is teaching his disciples to pray, Jesus actually compares us to God – a dim and distorted reflection of the divine, but still… he says, If even you know how to do what is good, if even you can be moved to mercy, to give good gifts to those who depend on your help… just imagine how much more God delights in sharing love and meeting needs.

And the way God meets those needs is, more often than not, through me and through you. Jesus doesn’t just point from our feeble attempts to God’s greater ones, but he reminds us that our efforts – even if they are reluctantly given – our efforts to share our abundance and show mercy with others really do make a difference: to the neighbor knocking at our door asking for bread, to the child asking for a meal – what we have, what we can do, matters. Prayer is important. But it’s not enough to pray, not when we are able to do more. As Pope Francis once said, “You pray for the hungry, then you feed them. This is how prayer works.”[2]

Prayer teaches us to look beyond ourselves. Who is it who’s knocking at your door, asking for a loaf of bread today? Who is begging us for an egg – and we’ve handed them a scorpion instead? Are our lives bringing blessing to God’s name? Are we living in such a way that God’s kingdom, God’s vision, God’s dream is coming into being through us?

We see all around us these days ways that God’s kingdom isn’t coming: God’s kingdom doesn’t look like closing hospitals, or making families bankrupt from injury or sickness while big companies pay no taxes and get bailed out; God’s kingdom doesn’t look like children going to bed hungry while food rots in the fields and spoils in our cupboards, or schools going unfunded while money is poured into weapons and walls, or neighbors at our doorstep begging for help and being thrown into camps instead – all while Christians are busy getting mad at the people who say “happy holidays” instead of Merry Christmas and who don’t stand up to sing the magic song to the magic flag before the sports begin.

God’s kingdom doesn’t look like this.

The disciples asked Jesus, teach us to pray. But prayer goes far beyond easy thoughts and empty words; prayer is about learning what matters, being reminded what’s important, and let that knowledge shape the way we live. Teach us to pray; teach us what matters: and what matters is community; what matters is forgiveness, of ourselves and of others; what matters is daily bread, and searching for that upside-down kingdom, and refusing to give a serpent to children crying for bread; what matters is tramping the snake of selfishness and greed and offering hope and grace instead.

When we pray, we believe that God listens; we know that God cares – but we don’t leave it there. We pray for God’s kingdom, and then we help that kingdom come; we pray, and then we act – that’s how prayer works.

The world has enough empty thoughts and prayers. We are called to something more; we are called to become living prayer, to live with generosity and grace, with mercy and justice, with compassion and community – so God’s kingdom may come, on earth as it in heaven.

Lord, teach us to pray; Lord, teach us to live.

God, our loving parent, the source of our being, the one who knows us better than we know ourselves: we come to you today, knowing you hear us, believing you care for us. We bring you our brokenness and our pain. We bring you our failures and our fears. We bring you our heartaches, and we bring you our hope. Forgive us, and help us to forgive. Feed us, and help us to feed others. Teach us to live into your kingdom, to live with radical hospitality and generous grace, so that your name might truly be holy and blessed. In the name of Jesus, who teaches us how to live and shows us what love is, we pray; amen.

[1] Bishop John Shelby Spong reflects on prayer here: https://progressingspirit.com/2017/01/05/the-ultimate-source-of-anti-semitism-the-circumstances-that-brought-judas-into-the-jesus-story-2/

[2] https://www.riseagainsthunger.org/quotes/pray-hungry-feed-prayer-works/

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ramrik-blog · 8 years ago

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Wu Wisdom

Life is a test many quest the universe And through my research, I felt the joy and the hurt The first shall be last and the last shall be first The basic instructions before leaving earth Life is a test many quest the universe And through my research, I felt the joy and the hurt The first shall be last and the last shall be first The basic instructions before leaving earth Knowledge this wisdom, this goes back when I was twelve I loved doing right but I was trapped in hell Had mad ideas, sad eyes and tears Years of fears, but yo my foes couldn't bear I searched for the truth since my youth And went to church since birth, but it wasn't worth the loot That I was paying, plus the praying I didn't like staying cuz of busy-bodies and dizzy hotties That the preacher had souped up with lies Had me cooped up lookin at loot, butt, and thighs Durin the service, he swallowed up the poor And after they heard this, they wallowed on the floor But I ignored, and explored my history that was untold And watched mysteries unfold And dropped a jewel like Solomon, but never followed men Cause if you do your brain is more hollow than Space oblivia, or the abyss With no trace of trivia, left with the hiss Does it pay to be deaf, dumb and blind? From a slave we was kept from the mind And from the caves he crept from behind And what he gave, was the sect of the swine When the bible, it condemns the pig I don't mean to pull your hems or flip your wigs But we used to wear a turban, but now we're in the urban No more wearing beanies and dress like a genie No hocus pocus cause I focus on the facts And put it on the tracks and brought it through the wax I speak on Jacob, it might take up some time And too much knowledge, it might break up the rhyme I did it anyway just to wake up the mind Of those who kiss stones or prays on the carpet Those who sit home, or sell books by the market Need to chill and get their mind revived For years religion did nothing but divide The basic instructions before leaving earth Life is a test many quest the universe And through my research, I felt the joy and the hurt The first shall be last and the last shall be first The basic instructions before leaving earth Life is a test many quest the universe And through my research, I felt the joy and the hurt The first shall be last and the last shall be first The basic instructions before leaving earth I strolled through the books of Job to unfold And open bibles, instead of hoping on revivals Calling on His name and screaming hallelujah When he hardly knew ya, that's how the devil's fooled ya See look into my eyes brethren, that's the lies of a Reverend Why should you die to go to heaven? The Earth is already in space, the bible I embrace A difficult task I had to take I studied till my eyes was swollen, and only arose when I found out that we were the chosen I deal with the truth, and build with the youth And teach my son as he kneels on the stoop Son, life is a pool of sin, corrupted with foolish men And women with wicked minds, who build picket signs To legalize abortion, the evil eye distortion I quiz Son with my wisdom Before I converted, I was perverted, and knowledge was asserted The study of wisdom, I preferred it The understanding, it gave me mental freedom I even learned Caucasians were really the Tribe of Edom The white image, of Christ, is really Cesare Borgia And uhh, the second son of Pope Alexander The Sixth of Rome, and once the picture was shown That's how the devils tricked my dome I prophesized to save a man, but no one gave a damn For my nation the seed of Abraham Blessed with the tongue of Hebrew Now we're strung on needles, and some are plungin evils So study and be wise in these days of darkness Peace to my nephew Marcus The basic instructions before leaving earth Life is a test many quest the universe And through my research, I felt the joy and the hurt The first shall be last and the last shall be first The basic instructions before leaving earth Life is a test many quest the universe And through my research, I felt the joy and the hurt The first shall be last and the last shall be first The basic instructions before leaving earth R 1.29.17

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