#save me 16 year old me
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The urge to talk about my fic and spoil the foreshadowing
#idk what i was on in 2021 (probably caffeine) but im pleasantly surprised by the first chapter of Babypool's speedster#16 year old me... how did you write so good#save me 16 year old me#bby rambles#edit: nevermind found a grammar mistake
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I'm rewatching Trollhunters in the background right now, and the disfunctional mother son relationship between Jim and his mom is making me crazy.
Like, he's taking care of the household and his mother for years as a teenager and before probably. She is sometimes giving half hearted comments about him not having to do so much, but very obviously she's not gonna make him stop do all the cooking and cleaning. Y'know. Both because they've been living like this for years, and because it's obviously also very comfortable to have someone do all the house work.
Then Strickler comes into the picture, and if we ignore the whole Troll and changeling side of the story, Barabara gets very offended cause Jim doesn't want her to meet him privately. Again, ignoring the whole magic and trolls stuff, STRICKLER IS JIMS TEACHER. If Jim hadn't figured out that Strickler was a changeling he probably wouldn't have a problem with it, but the fact that he does, no matter the reason, should be enough for Barbara to put a stop to the relationship. Her child is clearly uncomfortable with her seeing/dating that guy, for whatever reason, and even clearly vocalized it. But she doesn't care about, or rather, she tells Jim that she "wouldn't expect something like that" from him. Obviously not, cause she may see him like her child/teenager he is, BUT DOESN'T TREAT HIM LIKE ONE.
And then Jim, unknowingly to Barbara, becomes the Trollhunter, and his behavior changes. He's suddenly doing reckless stuff, sneaking out, getting bruises, landing in detention and even at the police station, barely avoiding a police report. What does she do? Asking him what's going on? If everything's alright at school? If he has any other problems? Maybe trying to lower his workload around the house, which again, he's doing most of that as a teenager and longer probably.
Nah. She doesn't do anything until he lands in the hospital. Except for again, dismissing him rather negatively at the one topic he's openly expressing any negative opinions about (Strickler). And after he lands in the hospital she now starts not asking questions, but demanding answers. Demanding answers from a teenager in a difficult situation who is also now acting much more like a teenager than he ever did before, from her point of view at least. Except she obviously doesn't know how to deal with a teenager, cause she has never had to raise or live with a teenager. She instead lived with a child pretending to be an adult for years, that was partly much more of an adult than she was, who did way to much work even before Jim became the Trollhunter. So she throws punishments at him and grounds him, but does he listen?
No. Cause why should he? Not only is he dealing with things much more important than being grounded, yknow, saving the world, he's trying to protect her from the sheer knowledge of the supernatural and physically protecting her from getting harmed. And again, for the majority of the time since his dad left he pretended to be an adult. He was and is the main adult in the household, dealing with important things she doesn't even know about.
The only one's treating Jim like a teenager are teachers, other children and Blinky and Aaargh sort of when they're not in the middle of Troll business. Strickler, in the first episodes where Jim doesn't know about his true identity, is much more of a parental figure to Jim (also after his redemption later on tbh) than his mother.
In summary: Barbara is treating her son like an adult, almost like a partner, instead of a child/teenager. And when that isn't possible anymore she doesn't know how to properly treat him. She also doesn't really care that her son is uncomfortable with her being around Strickler, or Strickler in general. And it takes Blinky telling her (when Jim is 16) that Jim might be affected by his father leaving when he was five years old.
Jim meanwhile is treating his mother more like a child/teenager instead of the adult and MOTHER that she is. Seeing her as his responsibility. Cooking for her. Cleaning for her. Telling her to rest and take breaks.
They obviously love each other other. And their relationship might not be toxic, but it's very much disfunctional. In a way that is mostly negative for Jim.
#toa#toa trollhunters#trollhunters#jim lake jr#jim lake junior#barbara lake#walter strickler#trollhunters strickler#tales of arcadia#blinky#aarghhh#trollhunters blinky#Barabara; just because Steves mother has a relationship with one of his teachers and it working out between him and her son#Doesn't mean it's gonna work out for you#If you're a parent and your child is uncomfortable with a partner of yours#YOU BREAK IT UP#Especially if your child is still living with you#Seriously#Okay I know trainer Lawrence probably only became Steves stepdad later in the series#And they also had to work some things out first#But at least they didn't try to kill each other and trainer Lawrence was actively trying to be a good parent/friend to steve#And don't get me started on “A vespa costs so much”: YOU'RE A DOCTOR#Don't know much about new jersey or wherever the show takes place but doctors earn good money almost everywhere#Especially with how much nightshifts and over time hours she has#Not being sure about your 16 year old driving I understand#But don't try to excuse it with money when you're obviously not poor and he's been wanting it for so long that you could've easily saved up#The money till his 16th birthday#Okay I ranted about this long enough#Also the fandom is dead so nobody will read this probably#Byeee
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unfortunately thinking hard abt how Bruce meets duke at three vastly different times in his life and how he watched the innocence and cheer leave him as he got older and more jaded only for his spirit to blaze with hope when he matures into the signal
#ITS LIKE#dukes convinced hes an entirely different kid#he goes from a clever determined baby know it all to a jaded but hopeful 14ish year old to a rough edged thick skinned tunnel visioned 16#year old in WAR but like bruce meets well remeets duke post war and who he meets is an amalgamation of all 3 but dukes convinced that kid i#gone died the night gotham experienced that joker attack and hes sure hes so different theres no way his parents could be proud#but BUT!!! Bruce sees that same 7 year old he met erasing and rewriting riddles bcs hes convinced hes the one who will save gotham from the#riddler bcs SOMEONE has to and it mightas well be him and youre only crazy if it doesn't work right?#help..HELP ME#MEDIC MEDIC#the signal#thought bubbles#duke thomas#bruce wayne#batman
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australia passed the kids social media ban law???? are you fucking kidding me? i thought america was gonna do it first but my country got to it quicker 😭😭😭😭😭 watch me delete half my social media if i have to verify my age coz i ain’t giving companies that
#vent#me talks#this is gonna be so bad#social media saved my life pretty much when i was a 15-16 year old
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i loveeeee interacting with fandoms but only in the way that i want to. "i hate this ship they're so oversaturated" i only see them when i want to! "have you heard about the discourse around this plot point" no! and i will not! "oh my god this big account just got called out" okay! don't care!
#soukoku has been saved for me by ignoring how popular it is and ignoring the equal amount of people who hate it because its popular#i have friends and hobbies and things i can do outside of read 16 year olds argue about gillion tidestrider#and i have never cared about a 'big fandom account' in my life. at all#but seriously so many people hate skk bc its popular. yes i'd like to see content other than them on the main tag but it's not a big deal#i can fuckin. search up the tag for higuchi or kunikida or ango whenever i want. and see other things. heart emoji
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Every now and then I remember Shuuji Kayama and how his arc is one big metaphor for what it's like to grow up instilled with venomous self-hatred and how it turns you cruel towards others and yourself- how it's about falling victim to the cycle and growing up to become yet another chain in the harm but also how it can consume you and destroy you completely-
BUT there's still hope in his story- hope that he can break free with the right support and guidance- with a wake-up call and a better role-model- and not only learn how to love himself but start the journey on getting better and doing better to those he's hurt along the way- because Lopmon is both his victim and himself and I-
#sorry it's almost 5 am and I watched a video on Digimon Survive and remembered how much I care for Shuuji and his story#I saw so much of my past self in that sad angry scared 16 year old boy#his bad end to me is both so easily read as literal and metaphorical death of self#to those of us who do not survive and do not grow up in the literal sense#and those who grow up to be yet another part of the cycle... to become another monster#two things I feared so greatly#but there's hope... Shuuji can be saved...#listen stories about imperfect victims will never not get me weak and weepy- esp. with regards to child victims
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Lip Gallagher for 11 seasons: I don't know who I am or what it means to be alive or how to not dedicate myself to caring for others, every downfall of mine is kickstarted by trying to save other people and being incapable of doing so
the characters, the show runners, and the fans for some reason: wow i can't believe he refuses to stop sabotaging himself
#I've reached the stage of stanning a character where I completely divorce them of the media they're within#shameless can have him back when they understand asking a 16 year old to save his family from poverty was WRONG of fiona#me watching lip fall apart as his trauma tears him apart from the inside out: who is this DIVA 💜#:v#lip Gallagher#never getting over the closing thesis statement on his character being ''he gets in his own way'' MAMA WHAT
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"Shh, careful of who's watching, Kid" "Of course, Sir"
I spent a total of 4 hours on this, according to Ibis Paint at least. I kinda hate how this turned out ngl
Here's @another-lost-mc 's Belial and my oc, Silver! More of Silver can be found here.
#ryn's bs#obey me#obey me oc#obey me shall we date#digital art#its my boi#belial calls him “kid” because by human standards silver is 16-17 years old#yes silver's horn is damaged#that's because of lore reasons#no belial did not cause it#im only just realising that i forgot to colour belial's horn piercings im so sorry#i hate drawing clothes with a burning passion#especially clothes with patterns#i just want to rip this piece apart but i can't bring myself to do that#jes please dont hate me for drawing belial terribly#silver calls belial sir purely out of respect for saving him#silver my boi
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16 year old me crying about Omori 🤝 20 year old me crying about NITW
#xenon screams#nitw#omori#nitw actually came out when i was 13#i played it a lot after it became free on the epic games store but i lost my save file so i never beat it#i watched the ben again video and ugly cried#and omori?#oh my God#i had been waiting for it ever since i was 10#and it was 2020#so everyone was extra traumatized that year#plus i was also 16 years old and younger than all my friends who hated me after i told them a secret#like holy fuck#i STILL can't listen to final duet without crying
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i think the closer we get to christmas the sadder im going to get and the closer we get to my birthday next year the sadder im going to get and its just gonna be months and months of sad until summer comes and i can breathe again
#fray.txt#spring this year was genuinely i think the worst time of my life. ever#and the closer to get to like#the last happy moments i had with them#and then those horrible months of sickness and yknow#i cant stop thinking of my baby toos#like dexter was old so it was easier like he was about to turn 16 and thats a good age for a pupper#my poor toosie. my poor poor toosie#GREATN OW IM CRYING#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i miss her so bad guys. i literally need to distract myself constantly to keep going#autistic hyperfixations save me from the thoughts#i do not know how to live without her
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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#personal#YANCEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY SAVE ME YANCEEYYYYYYY RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHGHHHHHHHGHHHH#maybe for november i'll do my own writing challenge where i get possessed by the spirit of 16 year old me#and i fucking sit down and write the diner and then you can all read about yancey. how does that sound
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ughhh the stupid fucking tooth is rly stressing me out. i never shouldve moved to fucking washington i wish i could go back in time and hit 18 year old me in the head with a hammer .
#and also 17 year old me. and 16 year old me. and 15 year old me. all of you have a part in this. cunts.#bc i would e hust had the crown done if i didnt get fucking stranded in wa for 10 months. ive just been kicking it with my sanded down toot#sincee. over a year now and i dont think theres any saving it bc i think its got cavities so theyll probably just have to extract it#and then i check online and ill have to also get it replaced with a fske one or my fucking bones will dissolve or whatever (dramatization)#and like. cant lie. the fact i did all that for a guy who Didnt fucking love me. ok. ok. ok. in love connor is not allowed to make decision#ever again bc actually fuck that guy. like. obv for more than just the tooth thing#i was just so stupid . and ik you have to make mistakes to learn from them but this mistake might be rly expensive idk if the state#insurance will actually cover it or if therell be copays I dont have moneyyy i dont have a fucking job. i need to get my stupid ged. STUPID#FUCKING PAST CONNOR DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL I HATE YOU YOU RUINED MY LIFE. but its wtvr. its fine bc that guys dead and now its me. YIPPEE#a2t#for my tooth stuff#dental tw#idk . i used to have a mut who needed that tagged but idk if theyre still with us. in that ive lost many mutuals in my years so they may be#gone DNRNFJFNJF but jic. if u r here sry i thot you werent.. sry...
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i love ben calling azmuth out on being an asshole and hes just like "fucking... okay yeah fine you have a point but also if the universe is destroyed its all on you shithead!! peace!"
#like.. and maybe this is just me but like.... maybe you shouldnt pin all your needs onto a 16 year old child#and then /literally/ tell him if he fails that the universe ending catastrophe that would follow is blood on his hands#maybe not doing that would be the normal and sane thing to do but idk man 😬 youre the smart guy who everyone puts in charge of shit ig#but like maybe if you think ben is fumbling the save so bad YOU should do something about that.. hmm???? ever consider that one? bitch?#anyway on to the actual episode#micks big ben 10 rewatch liveblog#puppy noises
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I was never really around for old fandom culture but Oh my god I feel like we need to bring some of that attitude back. Bring back the word squick, I BEG. Some times in life people indulge in questionable stuff which might make you yourself uncomfortable, that's great, it's good to know what you don't like, but some times you just have to move on. You don't need to send a paragraph to someone explainging ummm their [harmless] take was totally wrong or that they're an evil person for making something a bit questionable.
It's good practice to breathe and move on. You need to pick your battles. Telling someone to kill themself over a POST ONLINE, no matter how dodgy, just is not constructive and rarely blows off steam. Just breathe, and move on.
#its as simple as that#and tbh if some 16 year old likes bakudeku despite all the reasons of why people hate it. who cares.#guilty pleasure.#also also side note can i just mention how some people see red whenever they hear like#for example selfcest?#its literally just#probably talking to the void right now#some people get so so tense about like#small things#saving this for the tags because its delicate but some people need to just stick their head above water for a bit#I dont use terms like pro ship or anti or anti anti or whatever#because the whole debate is way bigger than those 3 terms and it feels like everyone has a different interpretation of them#okay so#some times people will enjoy questionable things. thats a given#some times that might be something simple like yandere aus and some times itll be something as complex as toxic ships.#and now let me clarify. because whenever i try and verbalise it i feel like im walking on eggshells#i am not condoning anything specifically#but i used the word complex for a reason. because quite usually there is in fact complexities to when people find things like that indulgen#so MOST of the time everyone is better off if you just go oh. squick. and move on#squicks can range from things like “i cannot see how that ship would be healthy at all. that is not pleasurable to me” to “hm no i dont lik#how this character is written by this personohh haha what if this character met another dimension version and they kissed and made out a lit#metaphor"#and people used to be chill about it but now people go crazy and i wonder if its purely just because it has cest as a suffix#same with oh what was it#objectophilia? which is literally just attraction to inanimate objects. pretty neutral right. but then when looking into it a ton of people#ALSO go crazy and ive literally seen people argue like 12 year olds that because it ends in philia its bad and distgusting and evil#???#are we just not using common sense anymore. or.#sorry im sleep deprived and im just so so tired of seeing people argue instead of living#can we all just love each other and live parralell to people we do not like
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Okay, I don't know who here needs to hear it but if you are under age 18 and try to strike nsfw-related conversation with me, you will be blocked abruptly, without any negotiation, and forever. I really don't know how the hell it isn't obvious? Like, how reckless you have to be to attempt discussing such things with a person decade apart from you?
#/vent#this is the lesson for you guys: never trust active followers with casual convos right out#age of consent in Russia IS 16 but like..#you guys do realise I am fucking OLD?#i am not 18 and i am not 20 but i am basically nearing 30 and my life will be over soon!#like my best years are over and i am as good as ready to start saving for my own gravestone#so no your country's age of consent matching won't do shit to me because there is still a huge age gap#just... just fucking don't.#i am sorry if i am overreacting but I am BEYOND uncomfortable right now
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