#saturn speaks 🪐

[dropsofs4turn]

to my mutuals who I'm currently not close with. I hope you know I always check your accounts to see if you've posted anything new, and I'd love to get to know you. I love you guys so much <33

[solreefs]

Consider. “And the house that you call home feels more like a prison” and transgenderism

OOOH YEAH

especially in the context of trying to get more comfortable with yourself before fully realizing you’re trans. trying to learn to accept your body for what it is, make it a home, but it’s just not right.

[wishingyouback]

been currently obsessing over the new boy group boynextdoor and i can't get over how lovely all the members are! i'm quite literally addicted to their songs; they've been on repeat & im half expecting to grow tired of it but that's not happening anytime soon i feel hahaha

[dropsofs4turn]

thank you for the tag @ellabsprincess !!

characters who are very me coded but I can't explain why..

a lot of these came from @liv4mj so thank you!!

no pressure tags : @lissytopp @liv4mj @lias-writings @pradaxstyles (sorry if you've already been tagged!!)

thank you for the tag sweet @zahraaziza

characters that I think are very me-coded.... but I can't possibly explain how (tag game)

the many sides of my personality hehe <3

anyways time for no pressure tags!! so sorry if you've already been tagged or already did this!!: @dropsofs4turn @elliespookie @bellswlw @millersaurora @ellies-princess @leighs-gallery @lovingsunflowers @elliewilliamsrose @irisonsaturn @cherriesxinthespring @saintels @s-4pphics

[cursedzzz]

🪐 _ It's our 1 year anniversary on Tumblr !!! ><

[dropsofs4turn]

I dont usually post stuff like this because I try to keep my page as lighthearted and fun as I possibly can, but when a problem needs to be addressed I will step in and say something. That being said..

Recently I've been seeing a lot of my mutuals be attacked by anons. My question is, if suddenly everyone turned off anon.. would you all still be so bold, would you still harrass my friends and others? I'm assuming the answer to that question is no. Why? Because you all are too scared to harrass someone when your account is there for everyone to see. You're scared and that's why you hide behind an anon because you know if your account were to get out there, you would probably get a lot of hate too. Because you're the one calling people annoying on their own blog. Making people uncomfortable. Crossing boundaries. Harassing people. Being homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, abelist, sexist, etc. Sending death and rape threats. But you can do all these things because "Im behind an anon!" I can guarantee that if people turned off anons you probably wouldn't be talking to people the way that you currently are. And this isn't saying all anons are bad or anything, a lot of my friends have some really sweet and amazing anons. But this is addressing the anons that are harassing people. If this gets me hate I don't care. My friends are being affected by people who are too scared to show their actual account so they hide behind an anon. My final words to you are, grow the hell up. Take a walk outside and have basic human interaction, grow to appreciate the world and all of its beauty.

To my friends who are experiencing any sort of harrasment from these anons. Know that they aren't worth your time. It's best to just not entertain them and delete their messages. And please stay safe, although these anons are just people hiding behind a screen, there are people out there who do actually think like this, be wary of who you interact with. I love you all so much, and please be careful.

[mstase]

— VENUS ASPECTS & your attractive features 🦢

these are just based on my observations and experience. don’t take it seriously, and take what resonates. [more applicable with the easy aspects]

☀️ sun-venus: you have an easygoing and likeable aura that makes it easy for people to connect with you. your sincere love for making connections with others is evident, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere. the natural charm you possess is a noticeable aspect of your personality, adding to your social popularity. when interacting with others, you show tolerance and acceptance, always striving to maintain a harmonious environment for everyone. also, your graceful manner and excellent sense of style are prominent, leaving a lasting impression on people you come across.

🌙 moon-venus: you have a motherly, comforting energy, regardless of gender. you are kind and nurturing, making the atmosphere around you calm and peaceful. there’s something unique about how you make others feel safe and cared for, showing that you naturally understand and respond to their needs. you are known for being warm and loving, making connections with others through friendliness and genuine affection. you work hard to have positive relationships, and your charming personality makes others feel comfortable around you effortlessly.

🗣️ mercury-venus: you have a calming voice, and you’re skilled at speaking with the right words and have a good sense of how language flows. your way of communicating is marked by being polite and diplomatic, and you express your ideas thoughtfully. your sociable nature and excellent social skills make it easy for you to connect with others. also, your artistic talents are evident, and you’re good at giving compliments and advice. your expertise in literary works adds depth to your communication skills, making you a well-rounded and engaging communicator.

🔥 mars-venus: your allure goes beyond mere appearance; it’s genuinely charming. the way you move, whether it’s dancing or engaging in sports, adds to your appeal. you possess a pleasing figure and athletic prowess, showcasing noticeable muscles. your enthusiasm for connecting with others shows a vibrant and fun-loving personality. adventure is a constant companion as you actively seek it out. there’s a natural inclination for artistic endeavors in you, passionately engaging with them. overall, there’s an intriguing quality about you that captures attention, making you popular.

⭐ jupiter-venus: your upbeat and friendly personality has a way of making people feel drawn to your positive energy. you warmly welcome others with your generous and honest nature, and your big-heartedness leads you to give a lot to those you care about. what makes you even more charming is your great sense of humor and love for fun, which make you naturally attractive to those in your social circle. your ability to share positivity and connect with others, combined with your giving nature, creates strong and memorable bonds with the people around you.

🪐 saturn-venus: you carry yourself with composure and respect in your interactions, demonstrating maturity and creating a sense of security for others. people place their trust in you due to your reliable and grounded nature. you are loyal and dedicated, making you a trustworthy and committed person. your sense of elegance and sophistication is evident in your appreciation for aesthetics and good taste. there is a blend of grace and softness in your beauty, marking you with a distinctive and appealing charm that sets you apart.

🌀 uranus-venus: your natural inclination for spontaneity and unpredictability brings a lively and dynamic vibe to those around you. this ability to embrace the unexpected not only keeps things interesting but also injects excitement and different perspectives into situations. your love for change is another aspect of your character, enabling you to infuse a sense of freshness into people and spark their curiosity about you. your personality, marked by its erratic nature, adds to an electrifying and eye-catching presence, making you stand out easily.

🌊 neptune-venus: you are a talented person who thrives in a variety of creative pursuits. your gentle and kind nature has a calming impact on those around you. imagination and sensitivity play crucial roles in shaping your character as you perceive the world through a dreamy and idealistic lens, consistently recognizing the best in everyone. your compassionate and empathetic nature makes you approachable, and you often go out of your way to help others. your energy is particularly captivating, exuding a soft and tender beauty that reflects your personality.

🕷️ pluto-venus: your character is marked by passion and depth, as you wholeheartedly give, creating an unforgettable presence. your intensity is palpable, and your emotions resonate strongly, impacting not only yourself but also those you encounter. you may naturally come across as upfront and confident, leaving a strong impression on others. your distinct and captivating features shine, especially when embracing a fierce and darker style. very charming; there’s a magnetic quality about you, surrounded by an aura of mystery that captivates and entices those around you.

[astuteology]

Some more astrology notes/observations🍀🦫

🪐Aries placements are more observant than Scorpio placements. Here's why- they are the babies of the zodiacs, and as a baby, they observe everyone and everything around them. Learning things on their own. Knows who has bad aura or energy.

🪐Planets in the 5th house makes you more appealing to others than planets in the 1st house.

🪐Capricorns placements are hard to anger but once angered, their rage is worse than an aquarius or a cancer.

🪐Underdeveloped cancers fit the stereotype of gemini having 2 faces than gemini itself.

🪐Mercury in the 1st house individuals are turned off "badly" by people who talk shit and speak with half knowledge.

🪐1st house moon has this brightness on their face that makes others stop and stare. I'm sure they've had this question "do I have something in my face?". Actually you do, it's your magnetism.

🪐Underdeveloped Scorpio rising are all talk and no action. They're gonna be like "oh I'm gonna show them why they shouldn't have done that!". And then they run away, avoiding confrontation.

🪐As much as an aries like direct, clear and open communication, they themselves act passive-aggressive sometimes.

🪐Speaking of aries, their love for freedom is above everything. They want love that frees them. Same goes for aquarius.

🪐Virgo's perfectionism can make them loyal and dedicated partners.

🪐Cancer sun + leo moon, when in an argument with their love, they became dramatic and attention seeking, needing reassurance.

🪐Aquarius sun + Scorpio moon makes the individual fear intimacy and emotional vulnerability. Aqua's reluctance to open up and scorpio's intense emotional needs. This create a push and pull dynamic.

🪐Taurus venus + Sagittarius mars makes an individual have conflicting desires. Commitment vs exploration. Stability vs adventure. Emotional intensity vs intellectual connection.

🪐Scorpio placements are often lost in their thoughts even more than gemini or pisces placements. They often feel like outsiders, observing life from afar.

🪐Leo placements are passionate. Like VERY passionate. They do be having a tendency to burn the bridges, quick and fast.

🪐Capricorns often possess a witty, understated sense of humor.

🪐Speaking of Capricorn, they are sooooooooo slow to trust. Even more than a Scorpio.

🪐Aries moon is as sensitive as cancer and pisces moon. They feel so deeply.

🪐Aries placements competitiveness can lead to sabotage and self destruction.

🪐Cancers strive for perfection more than a virgo. But this can lead to anxiety and burnout.

🪐Taurus placements can love you and never let you know. Ever.

🪐I've seen virgo placements being obsessive in relationships more than Scorpio placements. (Tell me why, please.)

🪐Sagittarius placements are often restlessness. They are looking for something that they don't even know.

🪐Mars square uranus- self destructive tendencies.

🪐Aries venus in the 12th house: hidden vulnerability- fear of loss. Fear of losing themselves or their lover.

🪐Mercury square neptune- inner turmoil and emotional depth.

🪐Moon square Saturn: inner critic. Perfectionism.

🪐Gemini in the 12th- easily distracted. Easily scattered. A small memory can scatter them.

🪐Cancer moon in the 12th: fear of abandonment. Fear of emotional rejection. Difficulty in trusting others.

🪐Sun square Jupiter- confidence or arrogance?

🪐Sun conjunct saturn- fear of not shining. Fear of not meeting the expectations. Self doubt.

🪐Mercury conjunct pluto- obsessive tendencies.

🪐Mercury square chiron- self doubt that feels like it goes on forever. Self criticism.

🪐Venus square Saturn- harmony or authenticity?

🪐Libra venus in the 12th- fear of opening up. Fear of being judged. Fear of angering your partner.

🪐Pluto square moon- terrified of superficial people tbh. They are very very very scared of opening up.

🪐Pluto trine neptune: rebirth. Transformation. Regeneration. Renewal.

🪐Jupiter square uranus: restlessness for something. Something that needs a change.

🪐Jupiter conjunct mars- fear if the unknown. (Strange? I know.)

🪐Saturn square moon- weight of responsibilities. Their head are usually heavy. (I'll fight with god to take half of your responsibilities.)

🪐Uranus square venus: detachment. Fear of intimacy. May even lose interest in love.

🪐Neptune square moon- reality or illusion? Is it real or is it fake? Am I being guided or am I being lied to?

🪐Scorpio in the 8th house is same as the Scorpio sun, moon or venus.

🪐Aquarius moon experience emotions in different ways, often needing space to process.

🪐Aquarius ascendant- unpredictable first impression.

[caturnmoon]

🪐Saturn & Insecurities: How does it show up for you?🪐

✨through the houses✨

⚠️potential trigger warnings⚠️

🪐We all know that Saturn rules many things. Such as time, fears, traditions, karma and work ethics but depending on where it’s placed and aspected in your chart, it can identify what your insecurities are as well. It shows where/how you’re insecure and thus giving you tools necessary to acknowledge and be aware of this in order to grow and heal. 🪐

Saturn in the 1st house:

There could be insecurities surrounding your body image and looks. Insecurities involving physical vitality and health too since this could affect you physically and how you appear to others. There could be insecurities involving matters of independence and self sufficiency as well and relying on others. You could fear being seen as weak or incompetent as well. Appearing vulnerable to others could make you feel insecure.

Saturn in the 2nd house:

Insecure in your values and how you value yourself. Could rely on others to give you said value and as a result struggle with low self esteem. “I’m not worthy of xyz…”. This is a common placement for food restrictions/ED’s as Saturn restricts here and the second house can represent the mouth and food. Insecure worth tied to food and possessions. Could feel insecure about what you lack or don’t have materially. Insecure about how you make money.

Saturn in the 3rd house:

You could have been made to feel insecure about your intelligence especially growing up since the 3rd house rules early life experiences and siblings. Bullies could have made you feel insecure in school. There could be insecurity in how you speak too and possible speech stammers/stuttering. You could have felt insecure based upon the neighborhood you lived/grew up in.

Saturn in the 4th house:

Your home could’ve been a space that exacerbated your insecurities when younger or your mother made you feel insecure. You feel insecure in small restrictive spaces/rooms; cutting off your ability to feel secure and comfortable. There could be insecurities surrounding home ownership or lack thereof. A lack of privacy could enhance insecurities and a feeling of safety.

Saturn in the 5th house:

There could be a crippling fear/insecurity in your self expression and how you draw attention to yourself. You could be insecure in creative endeavors and dating/interacting with romantic intention. There could be insecurities involving hobbies and sports. Could be very clumsy natured and super ashamed of this. You could have insecurities in the ability/inability to have children.

Saturn in the 6th house:

Your workplaces and coworkers could make you feel inferior and insecure. You could feel insecure in how you show up for others in their time of need. Health insecurities and struggles are a potential here too. Since the 6th can represent open enemies, you could feel insecure in confrontational issues/matters. There could be insecurities surrounding your every day structure and wellness routines.

Saturn in the 7th house:

You struggle with relationships making you feel insecure and could also attract partnerships that make you feel this way. There could be patterns of lack in how you give and receive love/affection within partnerships. Networking could also invoke insecurities and all matters of social networking with others closely on a one on one basis. Insecurities around relating to others closely and feeling understood or lack thereof.

Saturn in the 8th house:

Insecurities surrounding loss and death. You could struggle with being vulnerable in intimate relationships and this could make you feel insecure. Going into darker emotions and feelings could bring discomfort for you in how to process them. Inheritance debts and taxes could be sources of anxiety/stress leading to insecurity as well. Sexual intimacy could be a source of insecurity for you as well and expressing your sexuality.

Saturn in the 9th house:

Religions spirituality or faith in general could bring you feelings of insecurity. A lack of purpose in your life could also trigger insecurities and restlessness. This could be an area where you feel “stuck” and restricted as opposed to optimistic and abundant (Jupiter/9th house themes). This could indicate a propensity towards atheism with this placement as well with lack of faith in a higher power. Travel could also be a source of major insecurity for you and being in foreign cultures. Higher education and mentors could have been a constant source of insecurity for you as well.

Saturn in the 10th house:

Your father could have made you feel insecure growing up and patriarchal figures in general as well. People of authority and supervisors could also have made you feel insecure. Bureaucratic systems/organizations could also provide a source of oppression and insecurity. Theres also insecurity surrounding your overall public image and “ranking” in society. Traditions and responsibilities could also be viewed as burdensome and create insecurities for you here too.

Saturn in the 11th house:

Large groups of people/crowds could make you feel insecure as well as large friend groups. You could have been the black sheep that always felt left out of your friend group which made you feel insecure. Large organizations and communities could instill anxiety and insecurity as well. Being online, mass media, and things like expressing yourself via blogging could have resulted in insecurities for you and/or backlash from others on social media. Technology in general could make you feel insecure and progressive sciences. Sudden dramatic changes (Uranus theme which rules the 11th house) could bring about insecurity.

Saturn in the 12th house:

Endings in general could make you feel uneasy and insecure. Hospitalizations and being institutionalized could be a fear/source of insecurity. Not being acknowledged for your work ethic and accomplishments could also be a source of insecurity here since work (Saturn) could be behind the scenes or clandestine in nature (12th house theme). Darkness and solitude could make you feel uncomfortable and insecure as well as your dreams at night when sleeping. The unknown could also trigger insecurity.

Until next time!! 🖖🏼👽

[lua-magic]

Astrology secrets.

Remember guys, when you insult someone, or bad mouth someone, abuse or even gossip about someone, even about celebrities, you are spoiling your multiple planets, and no astrologer or remedy can save you, as you are activating your Saturn 🪐, and spoiling your Venus, even it applies to social media posts where I have observed people bashing and insulting other people, religion or even other countries.

Look, whatever, problems you have with other people, violence is never the answer, violence could be physical or or even by your own words, when you speak with the intention of hurting someone, you are only taking curse of that person on yourself.

So, many times in my own experience I have noticed, even when native is running good planet phase, only by his way of speaking he is turning his good mahadasha, or period into bad one.

And when person learns to control his tongue and his sexual organs,(as mouth is second house and sexual organ is s seventh house, and both are ruled by Venus, ) he can even turn his bad phase into good phase, and I have seen and applied in multiple charts.

So first learn to control your tongue and then your sexual urges you Venus will give you good results.

Frequent masturbation and watching a sexual content to arouse yourself sexually can damage your sexual energy, and effect your root and sacral chakra and make you emotionally valunerable and aggressive.

So, have control on what you speak and what you watch, (as what you watch is third house 🏠, which is opposite to ninth house, which is house of luck )

When start to watch and read quality content, (not the sexual and adult content) you activate your third House, which is house of courage and bring new changes in your life.

So, start from controlling your senses then go to your mind(which is fourth house, which is opposite to tenth house)

Your mental framework and attitude decides how you perform in your work

So, develop the habit of positive thinking and gratitude.

Next, move to twelfth house which is House of forgiveness, which is opposite to sixth house (which is house of eniemies) .

When you forgive you conquer your eniemies.

All planets are within you itself when you change your nature, planets change themselves.

As within, so without

[dropsofs4turn]

MJ'S BACK ‼️‼️‼️

The bitch is back

[mraquamoon]

🌙🪐 astrology observations 🪐🌙

- random things I’ve noticed from people with these placements in my life PART 2

Leo moons have a praise kink. They love being admired by someone and enjoys attention. Words of affirmation is a love language for them.

Capricorn moons will do everything they can to avoid expressing their deepest emotions. They have a nonchalant attitude.

Having a Gemini moon in your chart can make you a very bright person no matter your sun sign. You enjoy joking and picking at things mentally.

8th house synastry can show someone who you’re in a way ashamed of speaking about or coming across. This person may have brought out reactions from you that you aren’t proud of.

The 7th house can show the type of energy of people you deal with on a one to one basis and the planets in there determine how these interactions typically can go.

Scorpio moons want to know all the details about you. They like feeling close to you and can feel an obligation towards you once they truly love you. This is what makes them have the potential to be devoted partners.

Mercury conjunct Saturn can show a person who is more cautious with how they communicate their words. They are a lot more deliberate when they communicate. It’s not so much that they learn slowly but they want to be correct before speaking out loud so they process things longer.

Sun in the 5th house or Leo can show a person who enjoys the “partying” lifestyle. They enjoy having many friends and being social given they are in a position to do that. Leos are very loyal to themselves so if they’re loyal to you then you are special.

[middlenamesage]

🌞 Create <art, expression, a way of life> what makes you feel alive for your Sun.

🌙 Know what brings you comfort, and go where you are supported, for your Moon.

🌅 Start your day in a way that honors your rising sign.

🗣️ Research something for your Mercury. Also: put your thoughts into words (speaking or writing)

🌸 Embrace what brings you the most peace, or spend time in nature, for Venus.

❤️‍🔥 Move your body for your Mars!

🏹 Explore a new land/city/part of town or explore new philosophies and viewpoints for your Jupiter.

🪐 Set a goal that you will stick to working towards for your Saturn.

🆓 Speak up about what you see in society that doesn’t seem humane or like progress, for Uranus.

🔮 Prioritize empathy by withholding assumptions and have faith in what you can’t see, for Neptune.

💀 Identify any emotional attachments that aren’t good for you and let them die for your Pluto.

🐴 Face your fears for your Chiron (and you might just eventually find he feels bulletproof; this character can take all manners of injuries without dying!) ♥️

🌚 Know and exercise your worth for your Black Moon Lilith.

[sixosix]

hiii i fear tumblr may have ate my ask so i'll say it again just in case--if not im so sorry please ignore this i don't mean to rush you or anything :')

wanderer, candy(does that count?), fluff!! :D

(oh oh also can i be 🪐anon/saturn anon? if not thats fine! i just thought i'd ask since i think i've been sending asks consistently enough to identify myself ^^)

notes wc 800; HII your ask wasnt eaten, i was just taking a long time writing the requests LMFAO. of course u can be saturn anon!!! welcome welcome to the blog (this ask was sent a month ago and i am very much late. idek if anon is still active here…) tbh i wrote this and just went with the flow HAHA

5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST

You unceremoniously dump the pile of imported goods on the table, causing quite a scene in the silence of the House of Daena. They scattered about, and some even clattered onto the floor. You grinned proudly at your friends’ dumbfounded stares.

Tighnari was the first to speak. “I’m assuming you had fun on your vacation in Inazuma?”

“Do you even have money left?” Alhaitham asked, quite incredulously. The most emotion you’ve seen from this month.

It took you a moment to respond, and you felt momentarily distracted by the strange sensation of being watched. “Well, no,” you said eventually. “But I bought all this for you guys! Be more grateful, will you?”

Kaveh clapped his hands. “This is incredible! I haven’t gotten the chance to try any of these local delicacies from Inazuma!”

You nodded approvingly. See? Was that so hard? “Yes, I know. Aren’t I such a good friend? You’re welcome, all of you.”

Belatedly, they mutter their thanks.

You went on a tangent, reciting the food sales pitch you memorized from the sellers, feeling remarkably intelligent. They didn’t have to know that, half the time, you were the personification of a lost tourist/foreigner/idiot in Inazuma and just decided to play it safe and keep most of the souvenirs as food.

They segregated their wanted share and thanked you again. They left you some of the candy, which you had no qualms about eating for yourself. As you all fell into the lull of a conversation, the feeling worsened, and you’ve had enough.

You turned to your friends. “He’s been staring at me for about 30 minutes now…”

They each cast their discreet glances.

“Are you scared?” Kaveh asked worriedly.

“Look at that look in his eye!” you said. “I’ve seen that same look in Rishboland Tigers!”

“He’s not going to eat you,” Tighnari sighed. Well, he wouldn’t know that. Only Alhaitham has met Hat Guy, and he seemed to be amused instead.

“Violence is not permitted in the Akademiya grounds,” Cyno said seriously.

“Maybe it’s not you he’s looking at…?” Tighnari tried.

“Cyno, switch with me,” you ordered.

Wordlessly, he obeyed. The group watched in disbelief as Hat Guy’s gaze simply moved to where you sat next. He wasn’t even trying to hide it.

“Maybe he’s interested because it’s a candy imported from Inazuma,” Cyno supplied thoughtfully.

“That’s a good point. I’m surprised you didn’t make a p—”

“Don’t you mean—” Cyno held up the box that displayed the Inazuman Electro symbol on the front, “shocked?”

You hung your head. You spoke too soon. “OK.”

Tighnari watched your face for a long moment, but it didn’t feel as charged as the guy sitting a few tables away. “You don’t seem to hate the attention,” he concluded at the sight your giddy smile.

“No, I really don’t,” you admitted sheepishly. “He’s smart, and he’s handsome. Of course I’m interested. I just wish he would be a bit more normal about his flirting—if he’s even flirting. Should I give him some?”

You didn’t wait for an answer as your chair scraped backward and you faced Hat Guy directly.

“Make sure it’s just the candy you’re giving!” Kaveh called out.

“I see that Sparks are flying,” Cyno said.

Walking over while you held his gaze was excessively awkward, but it was worthwhile seeing Hat Guy’s little smirk grow like he was pleased you were taking his challenge. It was a bit of a problem, however, that he was undeniably attractive. If he was cute from afar, he was drop-dead gorgeous up close.

“Y/N,” you said, in place of a greeting.

“They call me Hat Guy,” he mused. “Those from Inazuma?”

“Yes.” Suddenly embarrassed that the bullshit you were spewing was picked up on by the guy who everyone was pretty sure was born in Inazuma. “Did you hear me?”

Hat Guy shrugged, plucking one candy from the pile on your hands. “You did pretty well. But I only have one criticism, and I can tell you bought most of them from the same place.”

Ah, you did do that. He tore off the plastic and popped it into his mouth, expression turning sour. “The best ones come from the locals. You should’ve asked the kids,” he advised.

Mouth dry, you said, “Yeah, I should’ve.”

Everyone told you that the mysterious new student—Hat Guy, you now learned—was prickly and slips off when someone approaches him. His birthday was apparently a very thrilling event—in the case that everyone had to hunt him down to give him his cake.

“Want a tip?” he asked, head tilted and looking entirely pretty. His tongue rolled around as he ate his—your candy.

“You seem to know best.”

“Take me with you next time.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for going to a friend's toxic ex birthday party? 🪐🪐🪐

(Everyone in this story is transgender in some way or form so im sorry if the pronouns get confusing! I picked planet names for everyone to help tell them apart.)

I (19, class of '22) have been friends with Venus (17, class of '24) for three years now. We met through our high school's drama club and I consider them my little sister. Because we were in different grades, I never knew many of her friends or colleagues, but I did meet her then boyfriend Mars (18, class of '23). I also didn't know any of his friends, and mostly spoke to him because of her.

I graduated before they started dating, and they dated up until this year, after Mars graduated. Venus is still in high school.

Because I'm not in the same school as either of them anymore, I haven't had the time to really speak to them and only learned about the break up after another friend of Venus, my best friend Jupiter (18, class of '22 like me) told me. Note that Jupiter wasn't told about it directly by Venus, they had read a vague post about it on a social media I'm not on.

Now, things got complicated when Mars invited me and Jupiter to their birthday party. This shocked both of us because we weren't as close to Mars and the party was fairly small. Venus was not invited. Another friend, Saturn (20, class of '22 same as me), who is the closest with Venus, asked me if I planned to go. She said she isn't going because Venus had told her about how toxic Mars was. He apparently fetishized Venus and eventually grew cold towards her.

By this point, Jupiter and I had already bought tickets to see a play a couple hours before the party and planned to go to Mars' place together after it was over. Because I didn't want to tell Jupiter what Saturn told me, as I wasn't sure Venus wanted the rumors to spread, I agreed to go to the party with them.

Why I might be TA: I'm not even that close to Mars but I still chose to "support him" and go to his birthday party, even after learning he was toxic. Plus, I'm dragging Jupiter with me without letting them know about Mars. I fully believe both Saturn and her retelling of Venus' words, and I feel bad for Venus, but I didn't do anything to show her any support. Why I might not be TA: to Venus' knowledge, I don't know about Mars' bad behavior. Saturn has a bad habit of gossiping and I don't think I was supposed to know about it. Venus might not even know I know they broke up at all. It's just a birthday party. And from the retelling of the facts I don't think Mars did anything horrible, they were just a bit of a dick.

AITA?

[hippolotamus]

Hiiiii Hippo 💕💕💕

Buddie fic title:

If only I knew you had electric fingerprints

-❤️🪐

Hiiii Saturn!!!! So lovely to see you here! You said Buddie. Please know you have my eternal gratitude for forgiving my slip into Diaz Family Feels. 💞🦛

After the debacle of broken salad bowls, 'I think you should go home' and 'This is your mess now', Eddie thought that he and Chris had worked through the biggest tangles of dating in the Diaz household. Introducing Marisol was almost a non-event. Eddie might even go so far as to call it a success.

He will now admit that line of thinking was more than a bit premature and naïve on his part.

Maybe it was his own growth and evolutions in the relationship department that led him to assume Christopher wouldn't face the same issues. And, well, technically he didn't. No, Eddie's son dealt him an entirely new, foreign set of tribulations. A one-eighty of Eddie's nesting instincts where Christopher is leading on five different girls. Five!

Wasn't it just last year they were discussing how much shirt sleeve was acceptable to show? What the hell happened?

And, OK, it's a new world with new methods of communication and apps and how teenagers interact with each other. Eddie likes to think he isn't completely stupid, because he tries to stay informed about current trends that he would honestly rather not know about. But no article or discussion with the school guidance counselor - or Frank - could have prepared him for tonight. No tips, tricks, signs to watch for could have fortified him for the devastating blow of 'We loved her and she left us anyway' and 'I can't remember her voice anymore'.

When Buck emerges from Chris's room, Eddie is still leaning against the wall, crushed under the weight of a thousand emotions and questions, attempting to prevent his heart from spilling past the walls of his chest. To keep it from slipping through the makeshift cage where his fingers press bruises into his skin, just below his collarbone.

Buck squeezes Eddie's shoulder before wordlessly leading them to the kitchen where he pours them both a glass of water and he waits. Waits for Eddie to speak, because it's what they do. They don't press. And maybe they should - more or earlier - but that's another thought for another day. For another version of Eddie that doesn't feel like the ground has been ripped out from underneath him.

"I don't- How am I supposed to-" Eddie blows out a harsh breath, frustrated that he can't form a complete question. That there is no entry in the non-existent Parenting Handbook for how to tackle this scenario.

"Eds," Buck says the nickname so carefully, so gently, like his tongue is shaping it from the most fragile glass. His hand tentatively slides across the tabletop until it's resting on top of Eddie's own. "You don't need to have all the answers or know exactly what to do."

"I know I don't. It's just-" He cuts himself off, huffing out an unamused chuckle. Because he doesn't know.

And, look, Eddie is fully aware that he doesn't have to be one hundred percent in control all the time, but it doesn't make him hate whatever this is any less. This combination of lost and thrown off course; of sad, bitter anger muddled together with desperation. His own eagerness to bargain for a way to make this situation more palatable. A pathetic yearning for the chance to go back. To never enlist and close himself off. To splurge on the digital camera with video recorder so he could capture a truly ludicrous amount of everyday, mundane moments.

How many hours of footage might they have collected? Of simple things like Shannon chopping vegetables or putting on makeup before a night out. Her and Eddie slow dancing in the backyard to music only they could hear. Or her laughing, bright and bold, as she smudged dirt and filth across Eddie's cheek after he showed her how to change the oil in her car. The way he pulled her in with his own grimy hands, pressing their mouths together so he could swallow the sound.

He blinks rapidly to keep tears from falling as he wonders how many instances would have featured her rolling her eyes - exactly the way Christopher does now - and shoving her palm in front of the lens.

But he'll never know because he's stuck with the choices he made. That they made. He can tell their son stories, bring him for graveside visits, and offer small souvenirs of the time Shannon had on earth, but that's all Eddie can do. He can't replicate what it was like to be in her presence. He can't convey how she was soft and gentle and all the things Eddie isn't, while also being sharp and spirited. How she smelled like peonies and summer rain.

Whatever he has to offer is two dimensional. Framed photographs, memories stored in his mind. Some of them also stored in Chris's though Eddie suspects in a completely different way. Hopefully in a way that doesn't taste as much like guilt and regret for things left unfinished and words left unsaid. Words like-

Dear Christopher.

He swallows hard around the phantom taste of sea spray from the Pacific Ocean, has the urge to claw at damp, sun-warmed sand that isn't there. And god only knows how his best friend has any idea what's scratching at Eddie's brain, but he does. And Eddie is so, so grateful when Buck rubs his thumb across Eddie's knuckles and asks if he should stay or would Eddie rather it just be him and Chris.

As much as Eddie would like Buck to be present as an extra layer of protection, he knows this is something he has to do himself. Even though, as he walks Buck to the front door, promising to call later, he gets the distinct feeling he won't actually be alone.

In the low lighting currently casting shadows around his bedroom, Eddie's fingers tremble as he reaches for the small safe in the back of his closet. A simple design meant to hold important, precious things. The metal dial is cool under his fingertips, easily manipulated as he rotates it right and left and right again until the door pulls open.

It's been years since he read the words written in Shannon's flowing script, but he knows them like he knows his own name. He traces over her loops and arches, wishing, like always, that he had more time. That he could put off performing this errand for a few more years, decades, lifetimes. Even if he knows it's only for selfish reasons. Because he owes this to Chris and to Shannon. It's on him to follow her instructions and deliver this remaining link between mother and son.

He holds the folded pieces of paper in his hands, feeling something familiar wrap around him that isn’t the usual despair. Something that's more like spun gold flowing between the note and his skin.

Eddie bites back a sob as it dives beneath the surface to wind its way around nerves and spill through blood vessels on its way to his heart. As a calm takes root, anchoring in all four chambers, unfurling and flourishing. As the room, that typically smells like lavender fabric softener and the fancy vanilla linen spray Pepa bought for him, is permeated by the overwhelming scent of Texas nights - filled with crackling humidity wrapped in silvery starlight - and velvety pink peonies.

He squeezes his eyes shut, breathing it in, inhaling deeply to his core like it might allow him to hold onto this moment forever. When at last his lungs protest, forcing him to exhale, his eyes flutter open again.

Eddie closes the door to the safe, hearing it shut with a satisfying click.

"Thank you," he whispers, letting his gaze drift to the letter once more before he walks down the hall to pass it to its rightful owner. His son. Their son. A living, breathing tether between past, present and future.

He knocks on the doorframe, briefly saddened by the sight of Shannon and Christopher’s picture turned face down on the desk. It only makes him more sure he’s doing the right thing.

“Hey, buddy…”

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