#satan has great taste in: Sterek

[quietlysatan]

wild heart - starcanopus, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: Explicit in a sex way but nothing physically happens

Favorite Quote(s): This one, definitely

“We could have been fucking for weeks?” gasps Stiles, outraged.

Words & Chapter(s):  words, one-shot

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Summary: “I want him to pound me into the ground.”

Scott, being the complete and utter wimp and metaphorical blushing virgin that he is, predictably sprays coffee all over the notes laid out in front of him.

“Stiles!”

Score: 13

Warning(s): Okay so, there’s not any actual lemon but like, the conversations are very very VERY explicit, so, take that as you will

Pros: Literally every single thing I’ve read from the author like all of it is just So Good, but this is the one I’m choosing to review right now because I love it so fucking much, and really in character with how  we see the pack and the storylines are always so easy to get into and entertaining and I haven’t been confused while reading a single scene yet, even  starcanopus’s actual smut fics are good which isn’t the easiest of finds, regardless if you’re looking for someone from the Sterek fandom to binge read  starcanopus is definitely someone you should consider!!

Gif Aesthetic: Stiles in a nutshell

[quietlysatan]

Under the Wolf Moon (Formerly Erase/Rewind) - Pdxtrent, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: Not Rated, but as of chapter eleven I’d say, Teen imo

Favorite Quote(s): Literally all of chapter 15

Because nobody ever fucking asks about Laura and The Hales I stg

“What’s your sister like?” she added.

And because yes, little siblings are slightly demonic

“No one ever said that about Cora,” he laughed, “because she was a little monster. She’d be your age, and she was terrible. She used to run away and sulk for days when she got in trouble, and was so good at hiding even Mom and Dad couldn’t track her down.”

    Allison laughed. “Did you ever try?”

    Derek looked at her, “Are you kidding? I just enjoyed being free of her randomly pouncing on me. Or shredding all of my socks, or whatever devil child thing she decided to do that week.”

     “She sounds amazing,”  Allison said.

     “Oh she was.” Derek said with a laugh. “Thanks for helping me remember how they lived rather than how they died. That was nice.”

I’m trying to limit my favorite quote quota so I’m gonna stop unless it’s something really good

This chapter name.

If You Pet Them, They Will Come

I fucking love this part of fics tho

    “That’s amazing,” Stiles breathed. “I watched and I have no idea what happened to your eyebrows? It's like they just vanished.”

    Derek rolled his ice blue glowing eyes. “That’s what you focus on? Really Stiles?” Derek said, lisping slightly around his shifted jaw and fangs.

     “Your eyebrows are very distinctive Derek! I wasn’t expecting them to disappear. It’s sort of disappointing actually. I thought they’d get even more pronounced and expressive. I wasn’t expecting them to disappear!”

Gods I love this Allison

“It’s all stupid saying ‘so and so is evil because of what they are’. Fuck that. They’re evil if they do evil.”

Words & Chapter(s): 102,141 words, and 41/41 chapters, completed.

Summary: Laura Hale has disappeared. But from there, things go very very differently. Expect adults acting like adults, and actual communication and not terrible decision making.

************************************

He packed a bag as quickly as he could and grabbed his passport just in case. He looked around the apartment, glanced at his sister’s closed bedroom door and then walked out.

An hour later he was at the airport.

Two hours after that he was in the air.

Seven hours after that he was touching down in San Francisco.

Another hour and he was getting into the rental car that would take him too literally the last place on earth he ever wanted to return: Beacon Hills, California.

Four hours later he stopped in Redding for food and gas. He hated Redding. He hated California. He hated every hour that took him closer to Beacon Hills and to the memories he couldn’t escape. He knew that, most of all, he hated himself. Death and disaster followed him like a shadow. First it was Paige, then his family, and now Laura was missing.

Score: 13, I’m really enjoying this, and it’s so good so far!!

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Allison Argent/Scott McCall Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore

Warning(s): Kidnapping, assumed character death, mentions of the fire, 

Derek blames himself for the fire like the martyr he is someone give that man a hug and six (6) kittens. And one (1) puppy.

Pros: It’s essentially what we SHOULDV’E had from the original show, you know, a well thought out idea with an actual plot and rules that actually apply in the next episode/chapter

I love the way the slow burn is built in this, it’s very organic, and sweet, and soft, and if I had to liken it to a food I’d compare it to strawberry sorbet, I just love this so much!!

The way and fact that they talk about Laura, and The Hales is so good, and I’m so happy the author did it, because so many authors make it 1,000,000,000% angst or a small throwaway mention, and although there’s absolutely nothing wrong with either it’s just so refreshing to see a Derek that can talk about his family, and even fondly remember them so casually and with people so closely related to his trauma like Allison no less, it’s so great and good, and it feels more realistic, it also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes

The moments passed in silence, until she opened her mouth to spill some wisdom. "I've lost many people, and while it doesn't coincide with what others will tell you in life, it actually does get better. There aren't enough hours in the day to keep thinking about what you've lost. There are jobs to do, and people to watch over, and even your own health to consider. You won't have the time to recount every mistake you've ever made. And pain from their distance will eventually dim and become tolerable. The only way it wouldn't get better, is if you keep thinking about it all the time. People who are always depressed over the loss of loved ones, are usually the very same people who think about them all the time, which ends up keeping them in their depressed states to begin with. And then there is no progression." -Can Your Friends Do This? - Watermelonsmellinfellon, AO3

I just really love the Allison & Derek brotp here, it’s just so sweet, and lovely, and fitting. Like I said, we should’ve gotten this from season one, even if we didn’t get Sterek, which would’ve been so nice instead of Stydia where Stiles puts Lydia on an inhuman pedestal and then expects her attention and/or love even though she does NOT need to give it, the thing with Stalia is that they started off when neither parties could consent to anything. Stiles was losing his fucking mind in Nogi madness Someday I’ll write that twin fic with them, someday, and Nogi will have lots of Naruto powers, cause reasons, and Malia had just spent most of her adolescence as a fucking coyote in the wild.

I wonder if Malia exists in this universe...

Gif Aesthetic: 

So it starts off like this

And slowly becomes this

And it’s kinda like this

But also like this

And somehow, it’s even like this

But also

[quietlysatan]

Cherry ~ Batedbreath, AO3

Yikes, so, it's been... A While since I posted last, and while I have perfectly valid reasons such as work got too much, I stressed myself out looking for help with editing (I WILL be emailing my confirmed editors soon I promise!!!), I'm moving, Coronavirus/Covid-19, etc. It's been significantly more than that, I have depression, like, reeeaaaaallllly really bad depression and it's seasonal, during the spring my depression gets so bad it can be dangerous, so to counter-attack that I played the "Lesson Responsibilities But Badly" card and just, didn't upload any reviews.

I honestly still don't have the energy to write out full reviews right now, and that's going to fluctuate even after I publish this post, even now. Cause my depression is probably something I'll have for life, however, I still want to post these reviews, even if I don't have the energy to explore all my thoughts on them.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm going to post things, but they won't be as in-depth a review because I just, can't, right now. As much as I want to I do not have that energy and I'm trying this thing where I put self-care first above all else (within reason ofc) so, without further ado, a fic review that I wish I could word vomit about like I want to.

The score is 13, as it tends to be lately because I just haven't had the energy otherwise.

Warning(s): Idiots in love are idiots who don't know they're in love. They share gum. Wtf. This is almost as bad as that one fic I wanted to review but alas (in a fond way I swear!!!!!!!!!!)

A Gif, cause I had thoughts, and I’d like to put them out there, even if it’s not completely, I’d like to encapture the energy of the fic, even if only a little:

[quietlysatan]

Hear The Wheels As They Roll - crossroadswrite, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: T

Favorite Quote(s): God this hurts, my ex-stepdad was like this

Two people want to have a baby, they want to have a cute little thing to show off and call theirs but they don’t want a person. They don't want something that has opinions and talks back and doesn’t thread the thin line they set out for them. 

This reminds me of Actual BDSM, not like, anything sexual, because that’s not what BDSM usually IS, but more the aftercare and borderline codependency thing. I just really wish people actually knew what BDSM was about... It’s not nearly as sexual as media portrays, and 50 shades is an insult to the community.

For however much of a jackass Jackson acts like, all he’s ever really wanted was people who would look after them, he has a need to be supported and support and just be acknowledged and appreciated that might bother on codependency and there’s no bigger codependent relationship than that of a pack.

God I love the way people think when they fall in love

Blue flashing momentarily over his features, his chin tilted up into the night sky so he can watch, mouth a little open in awe with his bunny teeth peeking out, eyes wide and expression lax and unmarred by frowns.

I love kids, and I want absolutely no more than three of them.

“You said we could get curly fries. Mom said I could get curly fries ‘cause I got the best grade in Math after Lydia. When are we getting curly fri- doggy!” he coos, lunging across the back seat so he can smash his face against the window and coo at the labradoodle waltzing down the street.

“Don’t lick the window.”

“I’m not!”

“Stiles.”

“I’m not! I was seeing the doggy.

Gods, children are shitheads

“I need you to be quiet and stay in the car, okay Stiles,” he starts, “sit on the passenger side and don’t get out of the car no matter what. If you do there’s a world of pain waiting for you, get it.”

Stiles bobs his head vehemently, little hands clutching at the bars separating the backseat from the front.

“Scout’s honor.”

The Sheriff turns the siren off when they get close to the house. It just wouldn’t do for Mr. Martin to straighten things up before he could even catch him at it.

“You were never a scout.”

“And whose fault is that,” Stiles counters

How to make friends according to the McCall half of the Hale-McCall pack

Boyd gives him a bro nod before walking away.

Stiles squints after him before turning to Danny with a raised eyebrow. 

An hour later, Danny’s knocking on his door with everything there is to know about Vernon Boyd.

“Stiles! This is not how you make friends,” Scott complains from his place stretched out on Stiles’ bed and while he eats Stiles’ food. 

Stiles thinks that he has no ground to stand on.

“We’re just making sure he’s not a psycho killer, right Danny?”

“Yeah. It’s still pretty fucked up,” Danny concedes, the traitor.

Stiles makes an outraged noise, “Not my fault that Lydia basically trained us to be criminal masterminds.

Words & Chapter(s): 44,919 words and 2  chapters finished, but sadly no sequel coming, at least not for a while...

Summary: “You can’t be here. This is private property,” someone calls out and for some reason, that voice sounds painfully familiar.

When it hits him why, Stiles almost chokes with the realization, “Derek Hale,” he says, unbelievably happy because he remembers Derek when they were young.

Derek looks grumpier, sadder, angrier. Stiles can’t really fault him for that. He also looks surprised that Stiles knows who he is. He squints/glares suspiciously at him, his nostrils flare for a second before he widens his eyes almost dramatically.

“Stiles,” he says quietly like he can’t really believe it.

Stiles beams, “Yeah, you remember me!”

Score: 13

Pairing(s): Pre-slash Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, background Sheriff Stilinski/Claudia Stilinski

Warning(s): Season one canon compliance technically, as in the bus driver dies, The Hale Fire happens, Peter loses his mind, etc.

Isaac’s dad is a bitchass, but he goes to jail and Stiles saves Isaac so it’s fine.

Jackson’s parents are dick ass cunts that don’t deserve him and casually neglect him like canon.

Lydia’s abusive dad is dealt with. He lives sadly tho. He’s not mentioned again as of this fic.

Scott’s dad is still a dick.

Mentions of Erica’s seizures, and the youtube incident. It’s handled though.

Kate Argent is a creepy fucking pedophile and I’m almost happier that she’s in a coma hopefully slowly descending into a creeping lingering sort of madness never to be truly seen again. Hopefully, she dies. 

Derek, the martyr, gets shot but is nearly immediately fine.

Scott also gets shot and is immediately fine.

Derek goes through the Kate Argent torture thing.

Stiles shoots Kate sort of on accident but he’s fine, no worries.

Pros: The writing is fantastic, in character, and yet original, it’s technically canon compliant so-to-speak at times about like, the main storyline, see warnings.

It’s a fresh take on an old idea, and I love it, especially the little hints of Stiles magic here and there, I think OP was intending for this to be a mate!fic, but I don’t have confirmation of that.

I love everyone in this fic, and the way they’re written is fantastic really.

It’s just such a good story, and I really want everyone to see it.

Gif Aesthetic: It’s Stiles!! in a nutshell but Stiles none the less!!!

Everyone @ Derek and/or Boyd... Actually, Stiles and Lydia @ everybody

And also

[quietlysatan]

Happy Holidays Volume 2. Chapter 18.

Link: Here!!

Rating: Mature

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Warning(s): It’s Derek and Stiles so they’re fucking idiots in love, and creepy about it too. Stiles stalks Derek technically, but because this is Derek we’re talking about Derek accepts that as a courting ritual and they start falling the rest of the way in love (You’ll get it when you read it), mentions of minor-ish past injuries, and Stiles has scars from everything but like, he likes them??? The memories they hold I mean, the fact that he lived.

Also, it’s not explicitly said but yeah Sterek both have PTSD, allusions to sexual trauma and panic attacks

Stiles is mentioned getting shot, but he’s fine and it’s only a sort of “You’re probably only human so STOP FUCKING DOING THIS”

Mentions of lemon and the acts of it

Gif Aesthetic: Stiles and/or Derek does shit like this and thinks it’s platonic because they’re stupid. I love these idiots but COME ON GUYS

(Yes I know that’s McDanno, and yes I will be reviewing them soon, and yes actually I’d love it if you sent me fics, asks, comments, or even suggestions)

No, but seriously they are so co-dependent in this fic it’s both hysterical and worrying if you stop ad think about it long enough but it’s a good thing that we’re not here for reality isn’t it

I JUST REALLY LIKE THIS QUOTE SO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT OKAY: Derek shifts again, and Stiles could put him out of his misery, could finish the thought, could get to his point. But it's true what Derek's been saying, overtly and covertly, over the past few months: Stiles isn't kind. He's capable of kindness, can pull it out when he needs to, knows how to work it as an angle or apply it as a tool, but it's not his default state and it never has been, either. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about the people in his life--if anything, he cares too much, pushes past the acceptable boundaries of investment into territory that's often uncomfortable. Kindness, Stiles has come to realize, has nothing to do with that. Kindness is about putting other people's feelings before your own, and Stiles does hate to pull his punches.

[quietlysatan]

Happy Holidays Volume 2. Chapter 24.

Link: Here!!

Rating: T 

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Warning(s): Derek gets arrested which is, so shocking!!!! Haha, no but it’s fine, it’s just cause Derek’s a fucking idiot, as usual, the Scott non-con bite thing he does to Derek is Discussed, along with Stiles previous, encounter with Gerard, speaking of mentioned off-screen torture, in one of them it looks like a break-up fic but actually it’s a Derek-got-kidnapped-again fic if you click the link in that one's endnotes, Stiles blames himself for Claudia’s death (Derek is not happy about this), Stiles gets it a cold (it’s hysterical, I just wanted to mention that cause it’s a sweet light-hearted fluff and sometimes you need that in a warning list.)

Gif Aesthetic: Sometimes the fic just

But there’s a few of these sort of fics in there too

[quietlysatan]

Hale Sandwich ~ DiscontentedWinter, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: Explicit for lot’s of lemon, and maybe grapefruit??

Favorite Quote(s): Oh Jesus. He wants to provide for Stiles. He can actually imagine himself beaming proudly as he hands over a brace of dead rabbits and, because this is his fantasy, Stiles doesn’t even look faintly disgusted. Instead, he smiles, delighted, and thanks Derek with the sort of quiet sincerity that, honestly, Derek has never seen Stiles display in all the time he’s known him. Sincere? Sure. Quiet? Fuck no. Derek needs to work on the quality of his fantasies, or at least learn to better suspend his disbelief.

And

Yep. Derek would rip his still-beating heart right out of his own chest. 

And

Of course, he’s always had terrible judgment when it comes to getting laid.

And (I’m posting too much but I can’t help it)

Peter smiles as Derek folds like a cheap suit. And, under the weight of Stiles’s wide-eyed hopefulness, who could blame him? Peter’s certainly not enough of an asshole to refuse the kid, is he? It would be a downright cruelty to deny him. No, Peter’s being the picture of selfless generosity and charity, offering Stiles his dick. He’s Mother Fucking Teresa right now.

And, because we all know Peter Hale is a lying liar who lies, but we love him (In fanon where he’s usually, if not always, better written because honestly it’s hard to fuck up all that potential even worse though to be fair I have seen it, sadly.) anyways

Peter’s smile grows.

Mother Fucking Teresa.

And another one that I can’t put because it’s explicit, but it’s got something to do with Stiles oral fixation and it’s in chapter one, right after the start of everything

And this, both because OUCH MY HEART!! and also because, Awwwe, That’s why he’s so childish with his threats, how adorable!!!

The list of things that make Derek want to punch Peter is the head is ever-expanding, actually. Derek’s been updating it since he was about five. It could fill the Library of Congress by now.

One more!! LAST ONE!! LAST ONE I SWEAR TO MYSELF SINCE, TECHNICALLY I, as Satan, can’t swear to god, so like, I don’t know??? I swear to Satan, but like me as Satan Satan???

Oh, Peter likes Stiles. The boy never backs down from a challenge, even when he should. Humans are so fragile and squishy. Stiles has all the attitude of a much hardier creature. It’s either ambitious or deluded. Whatever it is, Peter approves.

Words & Chapter(s): 10,947 two chapters; though I suppose you could just ignore the second chapter if you don’t want to read the knotting, I will add that it doesn’t last long, and it’s really not that bad all things considered. A very accurate portrayal of a virgin, and someone’s first time having Certain Interactions with a weird Certain Male Body-part.

Summary: It's exactly what it says on the box.

Score: Everything this author writes is ten and up. Even the angst that I’ve gotten around to reading. I can’t decide so I’m ranking it 10.5, which is still really good, and I might read it again someday

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski/Peter Hale, BUT Peter and Derek aren’t together, Peter is more like an occasional third that’s slightly necessary for Stiles and Derek to move on to the next stage because Stiles is just as bad at emotions as Derek is, for all that he rarely shuts up. Funnily enough, most people like Stiles are like that though.

Warning(s): Hypothermia, but it’s quickly cured, I’m not sure that it’d take this long normally but Stiles might be a little magical or something so let’s roll with it, who knows, maybe werewolves have magically healing dicks I think I read something somewhat similar one time, but that’s literally all I can remember; I can’t even remember the fandom.

Stiles is a few weeks shy of eighteen, months is one thing, I don’t actually care about weeks because very little will change in two or three weeks my guys, BUT if you’re worried about that it’s completely okay, remember, you can always click the back button, there is no shame in self-care.

Knotting. First things first, I think the knotting happens after Stiles is 18, but I’m not sure, regardless 14-21 days from eighteen doesn’t make any difference to me, but still.

Pros: Derek would never admit it, not even to himself, but there’s something strangely empowering about watching another man undress Stiles. Maybe it’s the way that Stiles pinks up with a blush, and keeps glancing over at Derek looking for silent assurance that this is okay. He’s suddenly shy, his scent sharp with anxiety, and it’s Derek his gaze is seeking. Peter might be the one touching him, but Derek knows that Stiles is totally focussed on him.

This fic is really good at drawing lines, but keeping it comfortable, the characters, as per usual to this author, are very in character in the actions and personality, while also having a certain flair that the Teen Wolf show, lacked, for reasons We’ll Never Know. Derek has issues, and even though this is just a lemon fic basically, they’re still present, BUT not in an uncomfortable way ya’know? Stiles is still a little shit, Peter is still manipulative, but they have a reason for why they’re doing what it is that they’re doing. Derek’s not panicking for the sake of panic, Peter’s not Just Like That, Stiles has Something he wants, like, the characters are very, in character; I don’t think I can put it any better, not unless I were just linking the authors profile and telling you that even if it is an AU it’s still honest, and realistic, and true to the characters....

Author’s account, where the characters always act like they probably actually would if Teen Wolf had better writers and direction. Even if it’s an Alternate Universe sometimes.

Also, the porn is readable, understandable, and I am never once left wondering what’s happening to who, by who which is always really fucking great.

Okay, I REALLY don’t like knotting, it’s right up there with Mpreg and ABSOLUTELY ANY FANFICTION AT ALL THAT INCLUDES THE WORD BOYPUSSY WTF PLEASE STOP MAKING THAT A KINK THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. But, and hear me out on this, But, the way it is done here? Is amazing, it’s talked about, it’s explained, there’s a process and there’s consent, and honestly, as much as I’d fucking love to go more into detail, I can’t without spoiling it. I will say, however, that it only lasts for a little bit regardless of the fact that the whole second chapter is technically about that.

Gif Aesthetic: okay this isn’t it but I couldn’t help myself wtf this is hysterical!!!

Stiles

Sorta

And technically yes, but also technically no :/ but it’s as close as I could find to what I meant

[quietlysatan]

Happy Holidays Volume 2. Chapter 5.

Link: Here!!

Rating: G

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Warning(s): Obliviate is used, but, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work very well ;)

Gif Aesthetic: It’s as sweet as this

[quietlysatan]

31 Days Of Happy Holidays!!

Day Sixteen’s Link: Happy Holidays!!

Favorite Quote(s):

Derek narrows his eyes at Stiles, who is looking at him with a shockingly accurate imitation of what Stiles would call Scott’s puppy dog face; Derek pretends he’s unaffected, but the kitten takes that moment to reach out with one tiny striped paw and bat at the tip of Derek’s nose. Stiles absolutely cackles as Derek reaches up to brush away the tickly sensation, shooting a shocked glance at the little ball of fluff that is now trying valiantly to escape the cage of Stiles’ hands and climb onto Derek’s face. “See! She loves you already!” Stiles crows triumphantly. Derek doesn’t have it in him to pretend that he’s actually going to fight him on it; he knew he was keeping the cat the second Stiles had flopped down onto his couch and snuggled up with her like it was something he did all the time. Dammit.

(Mood Der)

 Warning(s): A cat is injured because as much as I love them they are, in fact, adorable cuddly fluffy idiots. She is fine tho. Stiles gets a little shaken up, but everything ends happy and perfect and great!

Word Count: Just below 2,500

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Enjoy the next 17 days of happy holidays with random, but amazing fics hand selected by me as the very best. Ever fic with the tag #Satan has great taste in: The Happy Holidays is rated at 13, the highest number I actually score fics(Unless their in my top 3 list, which is different)

Gif of the fic:

I have just used up my entire impulsive control reserve to make myself only post one two of these

[quietlysatan]

We've Written Volumes (in Blood and Scars and Ink) - notthequiettype, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: Explicit

Favorite Quote(s): He sits down to a stack of pancakes shaped like dicks. His friends are assholes and he hates everyone.

And this one because I’m an asshole too

"I want to make a wolf Viagra joke, but you look so dejected I can't."

Scott grabs Stiles' hands again, squeezing his fingers so tight Stiles winces. He closes his eyes and starts murmuring to himself. Stiles waits and waits and waits a little longer. "Dude, it's okay, I hear it happens to guys all the time."

(I can’t put the next one here without copy-pasting like seven hundred words but it’s the part where Derek goes overboard with the pain thing, the part directly after that, I love that part. So much. I laughed so hard.)

And this one because this should’ve happened to me already with the amount of times I’ve accidentally walked into walls, doors, people, animals, and, most notably, that one time I walked into a pole and my tooth fell out... Why am I allowed out of bed???, and also cause my mom would say this to me... and probably has...

"I don't understand. I literally do not understand how these things happen to you." His dad hasn't stopped shaking his head since he arrived.

"It's not my fault I'm surrounded by dangerous people!"

Words & Chapter(s): 25,935 one-shot

Summary: Stiles is on his back on hard-packed dirt. He's cold and there are leaves stuck to his neck and there's a four-inch gash in his side that he thinks he can feel his ribs through. There's so much blood around him he feels like he's floating on a pond and everything is so much dimmer above him than it was a minute ago, which is saying something because he's in the dark center of the forest in the middle of the night. And the worst of it is that he's alone, totally alone with the smell of his own blood drowning him and the soft side of him run through by a tree.

As his eyes slip shut, the last thing he thinks is, "This is going to kill my dad."

(IT’S NOT ACTUALLY AS ANGSTY AS IT LOOKS. ACTUALLY, COME TO THINK OF IT, I’M NOT ACTUALLY CERTAIN IT EVEN IS ANGSTY) 

Score: 13. Even the lemon was good, that should say something

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, background Allison Argent/Scott McCall

Warning(s): There’s a couple of gruesome injury descriptions here and there but it’s not often, and can be easily be skipped over and ignored if necessary. Two Lemons. Two really good Lemons. Like I didn’t glaze over once. Also, I’m like, 9% sure Stiles is seventeen, but I’m not certain... For all I know he could be 18 is what I’m saying and I’m pretty sure it was never mentioned. Besides Derek is only 21 in canon anyway.

Pros: EVERYTHING

SO MUCH GREATNESS I LOVE IT. It’s not a very deep philosophical conversation thing which is great because I am so not interested in questioning my place in the universe today, maybe tomorrow though... 

The story is very cute and funny, and the banter between Derek and Stiles feels so real and honest, and funny, and entertaining, and GODS I JUST LOVED IT SO MUCH UGH!!! 

I love Stiles’ characterization AS WELL AS Derek’s especially since usually Derek has about five speaking lines in fic I stg, like, guys, I know we all jumped ship after seasons 3 and 4 depending but come on bro, he doesn’t actually just stand there and look pretty contrary to popular belief. Also, I don’t remember him growling that much guys. The author has written what I think is possibly the best incarnation od Derek Hale written in this tone thus far.

I love the storyline twist (It’s small and slightly predictable) and the acceptance and acknowledgment that Scott is being a bad best friend without making him into a fucking demonic asswipe from hell. It basically just makes fun of Scott any chance that comes along, and I love it because it’s very “These are a group of kids (Yes Derek is a kid too. 21 is BARELY an adult. BARELY.) watch them as they unintentionally fuck shit up on accident like the idiots we all know they are.” esque, which is always great. I really hate it when Derek acts like he’s in his early thirties when he’s barely even legal to fucking drink alcohol. 

The writing is easy to understand and keep up with and my eyes glazed over exactly zero (0) times, which is always a plus because I have ADHD, and I’m kinda tired tbh, but dammit this was great regardless. 

I know I’ve said it seventy-two-point-five times already but it’s really great and fun, and I love it a lot, and I’m adding it to my “Favorite Reads” bookmark on my computer (I should publish that someday. Not today though.)

Cons:

but also it makes me feel like

Aesthetic: This Playlist, and this Playlist combined. Also, a good stand-up show, the first time you kissed someone and you felt it in the warmth on your lips and the softness of their skin, and the tingles in your fingers, and the fire in your chest. As close to falling in love as I’ve gotten not counting that one time I fell for the Straight Girl. Dancing around the person you like and wondering if their dance is for you too, the first concert you went too that was hype and energetic and fun, making friends online through obscure jokes, realising that you’ve found your favortie person, and laughing with them at midnight while you lay on a bed and play with their hands above your heads and talk about everything and anything with no holding back, that one funny story you love to remember. All the best firsts.

Gif Aesthetic: It’s definitely this

And a bunch of this

and like two of these

[quietlysatan]

The Hale and the Fury - Elpie (Horribibble), AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: T for I haven’t stopped laughing since this started, and I can’t wait for more!!!

Favorite Quote(s): Hale women do everything perfectly. Hale men are endearingly awkward. 

And

Derek grins, hard and vicious. “Werewolves can hear it when people lie.”

Just like that, Tony is smiling like it’s Christmas morning, slapping him on the shoulder and demanding every sordid detail, and it feels undeniably as if his father is asking to hear about his day at school.

And oh, what a story it is.  

Words & Chapter(s): 7,663 words, and 2 chapters, completed

Summary: Stiles should have known better than to look forward to brunch in New York. Everything always went wrong in New York. He hadn't quite expected Laura and Derek to get kidnapped by S.H.I.E.L.D, though.

A story of young love, Doombots, and storming the castle. Helicarrier. Whatever.

Score: 12. The writing is great, the jokes are fun, and the storyline is awesome. Also, Talia Hale is a BAMF.

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Warning(s): Derek and Laura get tranquilized, electrocuted, and tied down. BUT!! It’s okay and not a big thing because everyone is fine, and Talia handles it. I wish I had a Talia.

Umm, mentions of past lemon? I forgot what’s called, a lime or something? I should add a new category for this

Pros: EVERYONE LIVES!!!! INCLUDING THE HALES!!! Which, unless you use them to victim blame Derek for being sexually assaulted and manipulated by a teacher (Kate Argent) like the Justin Hammer level morals having an asshole the people who write that are, is always a good thing. No, but really, several people have written The Hales as victim blaming assholes for no actual point, and they never actually get better. Which. Just. No, okay, no.

The writing is great, easy to read, and even though my ADHD is usually a bitch, I read every word in this fic!!!

Talia Hale is a BAMF okay, like, an ultra badass no fucks given boss ass bitch who’s having none of your shit S.H.E.I.L.D.. Honestly, it’s great. So’s Cora. And Laura, you know what, every character from TW is fucking great damn it.

Talia Hale was very particular about her baby daddies, she went out and hunted all of the men she’d chosen for optimal genetics down, and honestly, fucking power move.

Gif Aesthetic: Talia Hale upon finding out what happened to Derek and Laura 

Fury in general

Tony finding out about Derek from Talia

Talia Hale @ Fury

Stiles at The Hales in general

This one’s just cute

The overall mood of this fic tbh

[quietlysatan]

Sample Size: One TroubleIWant

Link: Here!!

Rating: Explicit 

Words & Chapter(s): 11,788 contained within a, rather interesting, one-shot

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Summary: This is what it says on the tin: Stiles gets a girl body and then he and Derek bang. Also, there are feelings, because this is me.

-OR-

“Scott,” Stiles says slowly, “I may literally be the only person ever who gets to compare the male and female orgasm from a first person perspective. In the history of the world! Anyone who bones me in the next 24 hours is contributing to the sum of human knowledge. It would be irresponsible not to!”

“Well, it’s your body,” Scott shrugs. “Be safe, I guess?”

Score: 11, because it was really great on all levels presented, though I do think I’d really really enjoy the sequel

Warning(s): Stiles thinks Derek only likes him because he’s temporarily got a female body, Derek immediately dashes this thought by lemoning (or being lemoned I suppose) Stiles all over again, temporary sex-swap, BUT, Stiles doesn’t freak out, or even really mind past worrying about Derek’s attraction, he is described by the author in this one as a little gender fluid, which, awesome, honestly, like super awesome.

Pros: It’s 98% lemon. But the other 2% is flangst, though honestly, it’s really cute regardless, and a little Stiles-typical awkward, and, honestly I liked it a lot.

I love the casual way the author made Stiles’ gender-switch something he wouldn’t give many fucks about, regardless of the fact that others would, and that the author also mentioned being interested in writing a sequel from Derek’s point of view that I’d love to see, having Derek switch sex’s sounds interesting and I’m curious what his reaction would be, though the author has hinted at him being mostly not happy.

The lemon though, ugh, it was so sweet and kind and considerate and CONSENSUAL CAREFULLY CONSENSUAL, which is always a plus in any story, but especially a Derek Hale fanfiction.

Cons: I can’t think of any, like at all, the lemon was grabbing in a way that actually kept me from skimming over it which is rarer than you’d think, the afterglow was great, the dialogue was awesome, I even liked the characterization. Zero (0) complaints.

Aesthetic: first times with someone who cares, tongue tangling kisses, soft intense moments between lovers, warm hands, and cold feet, and everything in-between, something more than lust, but less than love, fresh grapes exploding juice into your mouth on a hot summers day, impatient touches hinting towards more, blueberry muffins in bed with tea and coffee, good Morning Afters, accidentally finding something perfect,

Etc.

Gif Aesthetic:

[quietlysatan]

31 Days Of Happy Holidays!!

Day Nineteen’s Link: Happy Holidays!!

Favorite Quote(s): All of it. I’m counting this as one of my special cases, and adding it to my (kinda strange not actually only three fics) Top Three Fanfictions List That I haven’t uploaded yet

Warning(s): MEntions of Hale fire, Stiles’ insecurities come up, like, once, and it’s really short, like blink and you miss it short.

Word Count: Exactly 10,309 words of fluff

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski (Also, LAURA’S ALIVE!!! WOO!!! AND NOT EVIL!!! Why do I have to add that bros, I shouldn’t have to fucking add that dudes, who started hating Laura Hale guys, I wanna fight them pals,)

Enjoy the next 14 days of happy holidays with random, but amazing fics hand selected by me as the very best. Ever fic with the tag #Satan has great taste in: The Happy Holidays is rated at 13, the highest number I actually score fics(Unless their in my top 3 list, which is different)

Gif of the fic:

Stiles in a nutshell tbh.

Derek trying to postpone calling Stiles like the sweet adorable nerd he is

[quietlysatan]

Those That Bump In The Night - bleep0bleep, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: Teen, because only teens could make something this awkardfunnyadorable

Words & Chapter(s): 28,287 words, and 10 chapters

Pairing(s): Stiles/Derek mostly, with some side pairing Allison/Scott

Summary: 

A boy’s head appears upside down, hanging off the bed. “Is anyone there?” he calls out curiously, looking right at Derek’s eyes.

Caught, then. The protocol for being deliberately seen by a child is just to look as strange and fearsome as possible. No one would believe them, anyways. But Derek is tired, and he’s been running and scared, and now he just kind of flickers, curling out a tendril of dark smoke, hoping that he’s a little bit scary.

No such luck.

The boy’s eyes widen. “Oooh, are you the bogeyman?” “Bogeyperson,” Derek says, before he can help himself.

~When Stiles was a boy, he had an imaginary friend named Derek. Ten years later, Derek comes back, and is very, very real.

Score: 9 out of 10, because it isn’t perfect

Warning(s): Kate Argent, except there’s no sexual or romantic taking advantage of, it’s just straight up betrayal. 

Sterek kisses but Derek, for good humorous reasons, does not understand what exactly a kiss is.

Mostly still asleep Stiles rubs his ass on Derek’s “tentacle thing” (It is mostly hilarious, but still gotta add it just in case).

It seemed like Derek was having a panic attack but he was actually just being negative because he was hungry it seems

Pros: It’s 99.99999999999% fluff. the other .01% is technically angst, technically. But it is not. 

You’re gonna vomit it’s so sweet, and it’s really funny, and well-written though I’d like to know what happens with the hunters I’m not actually dissatisfied by the end so It’s fine, and almost fitting, I really liked the articulation of the gap between species and how it was portrayed and that Stiles made sure to explain things as well as he, a teenager that really does have the best of intentions and really does mean well, can

Aesthetic: I suppose something like children’s stories, like Matilda, and Little Monsters. I suppose it’s something like a perfect peanut butter and jelly, or rewatching your favorite movie from you your childhood. Or maybe it’s like daydreaming about swimming through the ocean s a merperson, and waving to sailors. Or maybe, it’s like watching innocence grow up, and yet still hold all its wonderful mysticism. 

Or maybe the way this makes you feel

Or maybe the way this looks

Or maybe it’s the memory of all these adventures you’ve gone on

But who am I to say

[quietlysatan]

31 Days Of Happy Holidays!!

Day Twenty-Seven’s Link: Happy Holidays!!

Warning(s): furniture puns and innuendo

Word Count: Less than a thousand

Pairing(s): Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Enjoy the next 6 days of happy holidays with random, but amazing fics hand selected by me as the very best. Ever fic with the tag #Satan has great taste in: The Happy Holidays is rated at 13, the highest number I actually score fics(Unless their in my top 3 list, which is different)

Gif of the fic:

[quietlysatan]

Roadside - Dark_K, AO3 (I swear I read on other sites too occasionally)

Link: Here!!

Pairing(s): Jax and Stiles are friends, Derek and Stiles are definitely Something. Allusions to past Lydia/Stiles, but they’re just friends now.

Words & chapter(s): 4,263 words, and it’s a one-shot

Rating: G for not everyone due to themes and things mentioned (Not sex but it’s not actually showing anything bad happening rather it vaguely mentions it in a way that assumes you’ve seen the show(SoA) which isn’t bad, it’s just not a detailed account of Jax’s life.

Summary: Stiles finds him by the side of the road, and it doesn’t even cross his mind not taking him home. He’s hurt, dirty, covered in nothing but a hospital gown, now torn to tatters, soaked through from the rain.

And Stiles takes him home.

Warning(s): Jax Teller, from what I can tell, deserves his own warning. Not like Kate Who can burn in hell, but like Derek who honestly, just needs two kittens and a hug. Warnings for him having been run over by a truck ad apparently having been in a coma, mention of his mom killing someone, mentions of him being pronounced dead, mentions of him kinda shutting down for a while but it’s okay because Stiles is there to make sure he’s okay, and that he eats and “Heals” at his own pace.  Everyone thinks Jackson/Jax is a replacement for Derek. Stiles and Jax after he meets Derek are very firm that he is not. [Will expand on later in the review.]

Score: 12 out of ten will read again.

Pros: Honestly my favorite thing is that OP realizes that Stiles, above everyone else, does not Replace anyone. He collects people. He sees someone hurt, someone lonely, someone scared and afraid and alone, and he says to himself “K guess I’ll be your new best friend who is loyal to you until the end of my existence cause that’s what I do, and also like 99% of my personality in a nutshell.” Stiles, who has dealt with the loss of his mother, with the guilt  of his hands being the ones to take Alli’s life, who was the last friendly face to see Erica alive, who tried his hardest (Don’t you dare tell me Erica and Boyd were missing and Stiles didn’t help in whatever way he knew how.) to save everyone, always tries his hardest to save everyone knows that you cannot just replace people. So he collects them.

That was getting long and honestly I could go on about Stiles (He’s my favorite character that I relate to.) (Derek is my favorite character to protect. Seriously someone give him kitten. Please. I beg of you) but I actually want to talk about the fact that even though this story is only four-thousand plus words it paces itself excellently, the road to recovery for everyone is believable and even relatable, the characterization that we see is great. There’s nothing unnecessary either, we see Stiles and Jax mostly (Esp. since this is mostly from Jax’s POV) but we still get interactions from others as well and honestly it’s just so great. I loved it, and I’ve read it twice before now (the first time was an accident) and I’m happy to have found it a third time. 

I suggest reading this whenever honestly, it was helpful when I was in a VERY dark place, it was helpful when I was in a better but still dark place, and even now, it’s helpful. It’s almost like a milestone marker for me to figure out how far I AM on the road to recovery haha

Cons: Honestly? That it ends, I would've loved to see more between everyone, in fact, I’m going to go look some up now and the fact that the dialogue is so small, or maybe rare is a better word. I wish we had more conversations between Jax and The Pack but alas. Still, this was really good, the writing, the style, the pacing, all of it A++

Aesthetic: Recovery. Or getting there. Singing your favorite song again after so long without it. Dancing by yourself, eating the food YOU want to eat, doing the things You want to do. Getting better, even if you still remember Those Things, moving on, home cooked meals, and new friends, and friends becoming family, good stuff, good things, good people, good food. Just good. Happy endings too.

Like this

and

and

and

And definitely