#sassy smit

[theanxiousbookdevourer]

(Disco Elysium spoilers)

(Also, psst. Cast your vote in my Disco Elysium, The-Pigs-related pun poll here.)

—

I love Klaasje when she's sassy.

I love Klaasje when she's sad.

I love Klaasje when she's childish.

I love Klaasje when she's bad.

I love Klaasje. That's why I find it so hard to ever try to arrest her.

Inland Empire says it himself: "She's already in prison here."

You know what happens if you arrest her? You know what you hear if you have high Shivers?

Some people say that doesn't necessarily mean she gets killed, but I can't help but read it that way.

So regardless of who she is—Klaasje, Katarzine Alasije, Annouk Meijer-Smit, Miss Teen Oranje—I choose to let her go.

Who knows? Maybe it's not too late to turn things around. Because sure, she's not perfect. But God. Neither are we.

So let's hope for a miracle. Because let's not forget...

It's as Volition says:

[bangtaninborderland]

Risk It All (24) - TORN

Genre: Chishiya X fem reader | violence | smut

Warning: this chapter contains smit - fingering, nipple play and some Dom/Sub themes.

A/N: this is the last “happy” chapter it picks up from here leading to the final game, im so excited to have it reverse a little and have Chishiya being the one in a compromised position. It’s time for YN to shine. There’s not much plot to this chapter, but it is essential for moving the story along.

Ch. 23| Masterlist | ch.25

Chishiya had let you stay pressed against his body, only moving you both to the bed at some point, for the duration of your sleep. The sky was still dark when you woke up, head resting against Chishiya's stomach as he sat up reading a book.

“How do you read in the dark?”

He tutted, closing the book. “With my eyes.”

“Will you play with my hair?” You grumbled, still too wrapped up in the embers of sleep to fully understand your own request. You pouted at the long wait, snuggling into him further as his fingers came to brush your hair out of your face.

His movements were awkward, unfamiliar to him as his hand was stiff but still you revelled in it. Enjoying the touch, the affection you’d craved for so long. “You ask too much of me.”

That caught your attention, you snapped your head up, sliding to move away from him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“Stop.” His words were firm, with a hint of dominance to them, you looked at him unmoving. “I didn’t say move, I said you ask too much of me.”

“Oh.” You chewed your lip, confused at what to do next. You figured it would be best not to push it so you settled for laying next to him rather than on him.

“What are you doing?” He asked, voice strained.

“I- will-“ you gestured to your position on the bed, clearly you were lying down. “What do you think.”

“I didn’t tell you to move.” He says again and you slowly catch on, heat rushing to your cheeks as you shift to lay back on him, the same way you were minutes before. “You don’t listen well.”

“I never had to listen to others. Besides you aren’t exactly the most eager to explain.” You snort. “Not all of us operate on a 5 word basis.”

“Wow, you don’t listen and you talk too much.” You can practically hear his eyes rolling.

“Did you just wow me?” You laughed, unable to not think about the irony of someone like Chishiya saying wow. “Say it again.”

“You’re so annoying.” He sighs, pulling you to sit up. “Stop talking.”

“Say wow again and I will. You’re so sassy.” You joked, you saw him clench his jaw at that and for some reason, you could stop pushing. “Come on sassy pants.”

“Do you want me to lock you outside?” He deadpans, his lips in a tight line. “You’re impossible.”

“For someone so scary you sure as hell are afraid of a simpl-“ your words were cut off as he lunged forwards, lips colliding with yours. You fall backwards, the bed softening your fall. His hands instantly find your wrists, pinning them to your sides as he continues to kiss you. You try and fight back against him, not because you want him to stop but because you want control, You try to push your tongue against his, wanting to be the one to lead the kiss but your attempts are futile as he pulls back a little and bites your lip. “Whatever you’re doing, stop it. Stop talking, stop thinking.” He rasped out, and the tone of his voice made your legs go weak, You took a breath nodding.

He finally kisses you again after what feels like an eternity. This time you go plaint under his touch, happily accepting the kisses he divulges to you. Your lungs are begging for oxygen, your throat burning but you don’t push him away, much to your embarrassment you whine a little as he pulls away.

You can’t stop the smile that tugs at your lips as he chuckles, shushing you. “Don’t be a baby.”

“You-“ your head is hazy, a feeling you’d never felt before. You probably wouldn’t voice it aloud but you enjoying Chishiya being that way, being a little controlling. “More.”

He shakes his head, sitting back on the back. “If we do more it will lead to something else.”

“Okay.” You say before really processing what he means.

He raises his eyebrows, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. “Stop talking before you think about things. There’s no rush.”

“But I want to.” You protest. Pushing yourself up so you’re sitting cross-legged opposite him. “Do you?”

“Not if you fight for control again.” He shrugs, something about the way he looks unbothered encourages the thrum of excitement underneath your skin.

“I won’t.” You promise, holding out your pinkie. “I swear it.”

“You and your promises. One day they are going to land you in trouble.” He tuts, you lay back, still able to see him even though he’s a little further back.

“Are you going to kiss me or are you just going to sit there?” You teased, reaching a hand out to him. “I’m getting bored.”

“Patience.” He leans down, his frame towering over you. “You’re always too doing things too fast, rushing.” Despite how harsh the words could sound they simply don’t, the smirk on his face only confirms he’s playing with you.

You can feel his breath against your lips as he lowers himself to you, within reach but still far enough that you have to lift your head to kiss him. The second your lips graze his , he pulls back a little further. “Chish-“

“I told you to stop rushing.” He chides, tongue darting out to lick his lips. “What happened to your promise hm?”

“I-I am, I do promise I just want you to kiss me.” You can’t help but pout, he was being mean.

He let out a breathy laugh at that. “Close your eyes.”

You follow through instantly. You feel him move his hand over your hip, trailing the outside of your shirt before resting against your jaw. The touch disappears but you don’t panic as his lips come into contact with yours, this time you let him take the lead, kissing him back softly.

It goes on like that for a minute or so before he presses his body against you. Pulling away from your lips to trail kisses down your jaw to your shoulder. “How do you feel?” He asks, breathless.

You feel dazed as you look at him, you can just about muster a nod. “More?”

“More what?” He asks, his hand gently caressing your face. “Tell me.”

“Want more of you, with you.” You explain, your tongue feeling too heavy to move. “Now.”

He shuffles on the bed and ends up sitting with his back against the headboard. “Come here.”

You crawl over to him, sitting beside him for a second before he pulls you into his lap, leaving you straddling him. “There, much better.” He hymns to himself.

He kisses you again, this time with more force, his hand gripping the back of your neck, his fingers slightly entangled in your hair. “Desperate.”

You didn’t even realise you’d begun to grind down on his thigh, you looked down in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“Is it making you feel good?” He whispers the question as he ticks a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

You look up at him through your lashes before nodding.

“Then don’t stop.” He shrugs, tensing his thigh underneath you.

You gasped at the light friction and found yourself being pulled back against him. This time his mouth latching onto your neck, you moaned at the suckling on the sensitive skin and you ground down, this time with a purpose. “S’ good.”

You knew he would be leaving a trail of marks along your neck but you didn’t mind, not as you felt your pussy slick up against his thigh. Before you could get too caught up Chishiya flipped you both over. “Tell me what you want.”

“Fingers..” you whined. “Want your fingers.”

“Still demanding.” He scolded, eyebrow cocked. “Is that how you ask?”

“Please?” You pouted at him, just wanting him all over you. “I want to feel you.”

“That’s good.” He smirks before pulling your shorts down, you lift yourself up from the bed just enough to allow him to slip the item off.

He brought his fingers to your mouth and without any prompting you parted your lips, letting the digits slip inside. You coat them in saliva, working your tongue around them. Chishiya watches with hooded eyes before clearing his through. “Enough.”

You instantly let your jaw go slack, his fingers trailing down your body before slipping between the folds of your pussy. You bite your lip stifling a moan.

Chishiya tuts at that. “Let me hear you.”

His fingers slide inside and this time you let out a deep moan, the sound echoing off the walls. “Fuck, faster.”

He doesn’t give you enough time to finish your sentence before thrusting his finger up, curling them around to graze over your gspot. “Such a demanding little thing but when my fingers are inside of you all you can do is whine and curse, adorable.”

“I-wa-want.” You didn’t even know what you were asking for, his free slipped under your shirt, his fingers pinching at your nipples. Pleasure surrounded you, a pressure began building in your stomach. You lazily lifted your shirt over your tits, pulling your bra up with it.

Without a single word from you Chishiya began sucking on the sensitive bud. His thumb brushed over your clit and that was enough to send you tumbling over the edge into the cloud your orgasm brought you. Chishiya kept pumping his fingers into you through it, even as your moans turned into desperate whines. “Such a good girl.”

“T-Thankyou.” You stuttered.

He nodded, smiling at you. “Just take a breath, stay here, I'll get you some water.”

“But I thought you said-“You stumbled over your words, eyes wide as you watched him climb off the bed. on “You don’t want to?” Although it may have been a stupid thought you still felt sad by it, disappointed.

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” He shakes his head as he hovers in the doorway. “We don’t know how this world works and we don’t have condoms. I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of pregnancy being achievable. I’ve got to do a grocery run later so I’ll see what I can find.”

That made sense. “Oh…okay.”

“Relax.” He chuckles, his footsteps quietening as he walks to grab some water. He returns shortly after handing you a small cup. “How do you feel?”

You felt…strange. Not sad but you wanted to be wrapped up in a blanket and , hugged. “Okay.” You lied.

He stood from the bed, walking over to the pile of clean clothes on the shelf handing you both underwear and a pair of his sweatpants. “Get dressed, I’ll read to you.”

You smiled at that, happy that he cared enough to make sure you were okay. “Thank you.”

“You lied when you said you were okay, Don’t do that again.” He’s firm and you can’t disagree.

You feel slightly disappointed with yourself that you messed up such a good moment.“Sorry.”

He huffs, grabbing your wrist. Forcing you to look at him. “What did you do wrong?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean?”

“You’re apologising, so you’ve done something wrong. What is it?” He asked, expectantly.

You frown. “Nothing just.. I should have been honest.”

“You should have, you weren’t, next time you will be.” He doesn’t sound angry or upset and you find comfort in that.

“Okay. Next time I will.” You agree, hopefully, he will be just as honest.

The rest of the day passes quickly, Chishiya heats up a tin of soup for you to share before checking your wounds, declaring them okay, and then he sticks to his word- reading to you with you both snuggled underneath the covers.

He was touchy, much more so than usual but you didn’t comment on it, afraid that if you did it would stop. If he wasn’t rubbing your back he was playing with your hair, every now and again he would lean over and place a kiss on the back of your head. You marvelled at the touches, feeling truly safe and content for the first time since this whole thing started.

Soon enough the sun began to set and Chishiya declared he was going to go and find some groceries. You pleaded to go with him but he denied it, although your arm was getting better it wasn’t entirely there and he didn’t want to risk it.

You decided you’d spend the time making dinner, as nice as you could. You found some canned meat and vegetables in the cupboard along with a single bag of noodles. It would all do to put together a simple meal.

You got to work, boiling the water for the noodles, chopping up and frying the tinned meat and heating up the mixed vegetables.

You left it all to sit on the camping stove, wanting to keep it warm for his return.

You were just about to settle down and prepare some board games for you to enjoy after dinner when the door slammed open.

“Yn!” Chishiya pants, falling in the door, the overpacked backpack dropping with a thud.

“What- oh my god!” You scream, rushing over. You fall beside him, eyes wide at the open gash on his abdomen. “What the fuck happened!”

“I was getting food. Someone - fuck.” He hissed hands cupping the wound. “I need you to clean it up and stitch it.”

“I can’t-“Physically you can’t.

“I’ll die if you don’t. I’ll lose too much blood.” He chokes out, his breath shallow.

You took a steadying breath, you could do this. “How, what do I do.”

“Need you to” he bites his lip trying to quieten the sounds of his pain. “Get the first aid and alcohol. I’ll tell you from there.”

You scramble your way to the small cupboard bag that holds the items Chishiya listed. Your hands were trembling so you took a quick, deep breath, steadying yourself.

He had healed you countless times, now you’d do the same for him, the only difference?

You didn’t know how to save a life.

[writingwithadragon]

Hecking beautiful!!

I’ve been practicing art styles. Here’s some sketches and a finished project of a style I’ve really enjoyed. :-)

What do yall think of the style. I enjoy feedback and critique. ( tips are also nice lol )

[women-are-hot]

You And I (Joelle Smits)

Summary: joelle and y/n have been hiding their relationship for a few months, but a day at camp two of their friends found them being all over each other.   

Warnings: literally just fluff.

Note: i kinda really love joelle, so they’ll for sure be other fics with her in the future. also a big thanks to the person that made this gif. two people actually made a few for me, so thank youuu!

I was on my plane right now on my way to the Netherlands.

We're finally going to a national camp once again. I feel like it's been years since the last one.

I also get to see my girlfriend, Joelle. It's also been a long time since I saw her, because she plays for Wolfsburg and I play for Chelsea and then the pandemic didn’t help.

It's actually only our families that know that we are together.

We should probably soon tell our friends, but we will keep it a secret a little longer.

—

I was finally in Amsterdam, so I took an uber to the hotel.

I walked into the hotel and there my best friend stood, Jill Roord.

She was also playing for Wolfsburg. She had actually just moved there from Arsenal.

I runned to her and jumped into her arms, since she was higher than me.

"I missed you, little one" Jill said and smiled, knowing I hated that nickname, cause I was very short.

"At least I'm not as short as Daan," I replied sassy.

I then got hit on the back of my neck. I looked around and there Daan stood looking angry.

"You are not that much taller than me," Daan said, pissed.

I just laughed at her.

"Did you hear the keyword 'taller' ?" I teased her.

Daan just pushed me for fun and pulled me in for a hug.

I had really missed my dutch football family. 

—

After some time talking and catching up, we got our roommates.

I was rommed with Jill as always.

Joelle was rommed with Shanice and I know Jill & Shanice hang out often together, so maybe, Joelle and I can get some time alone together.

We actually have not said anything to each other, but we're hopefully gonna do it soon.

"Hey Y/n. Are there any teammates you fancy?" Jill asked me suddenly when we got inside our hotel room

"From club or national team?" I replied.

Jill then smiled, probably because I didn't say no.

"Club" she said and we sat down on the bed.

"Nobody" I answered,

Jill's smile then got even bigger.

"Do you fancy any of our teammates?" she asked me excitedly.

I smiled, thinking about Joelle.

"Who got you so smiley" Jill teased me

"Well" I started.

Jill then begins to jump around the room.

"Omg. You’re so in love" she said.

I just laughed at her.

"But the question is, who is the lucky girl?" Jill asked.

I blushed, but I don't know if I actually should tell her about Joelle.

"Okay. Maybe I have a little crush on Joelle, but please don't tell anyone" I answered.

Jill just looked at me with a big smile.

"I promise to not tell anyone, but maybe we can invite Shanice and Joelle out on a walk later. Then you can talk with her" Jill said.

I smiled at her, almost laughing cause I was literally in a relationship with Joelle.

"Yeah, that would be cool" I responded and hugged her.

—

We were now going to go on a walk with Shanice and Joelle.

I was very excited, because it had been a long time since I had seen Joelle.

So I hope we get some alone time.

"Are you ready?" Jill asked me

"Yep. Let's go" I answered and we then got out of our room.

We walked down to the lobby and saw Joelle and Shanice already standing there.

"Took you long enough," Shanice said with a laugh.

"Jill took forever to choose a freaking outfit" I replied and we all laughed at Jill.

We decided to walk around in the city, maybe find some place to eat at.

Jill and Shanice were going a little in front of Joelle and I, so we had some alone time.

"So has Germany been good?" I asked her.

"Yes. It's amazing being in Wolfsburg. There are many great challenges and the girls are fun too, but I still miss my girl" Joelle answered with a sad smile.

I looked around and saw no one was around, so I decided to kiss Joelle on her cheek, hoping no one but her saw it.

"I miss you too," I said.

Then Joelle licked her lips, took my hand and followed us to a place where no one could see us.

There was not much space, so I was pressed against the wall with Joelle standing right in front of me.

Joelle then kissed me, slow and meaningful.

We just stood there kissing for some time, then we stopped, cause we both needed air.

"I miss you so much, love. I hope one day I get to kiss you every time I wake up in the morning and every time I go to bed" Joelle said and took a deep breath.

I smiled at her fast talking,

"I miss you too, babe. Every freaking day," I responded.

Joelle then kissed me once again.

I then remembered that Jill and Shanice also were on this little trip.

"Babe, what about Jill and Shanice?" I asked Joelle, as I stopped kissing her.

"Oh, you are probably right. Maybe we could ask to switch rooms. So we could spend the night together" Joelle responded with a little cocky smile.

I blushed a bit at her smile, since she was just so hot.

"Yes, but just so you know, I told Jill that I had a crush on you" I said.

Joelle didn't answer, she just smirked.

"You have a crush on me?" she asked

I rolled my eyes. Joelle laughed and then kissed me again.

"Save that for later" she whispered in my ear.

I gasped at her dirty mind.

"Come on. Let's go" she said and took my hand.

We then got out of the place. I didn't even know what it was, whatever.

We walked for some minutes then Jill called me

"Hi Jill. WHere are you guys? We can't find you" I asked her.

"We're at the sushi place a little longer down the city, but we should actually ask where you guys are. Are you in the toilet fucking each other or something?" Jill said with a laugh.

"Seriously Jill. We were just talking like normal people and then you guys just poofed away" I replied.

"Okay. Let's just say that. Now bye, my sushi is coming" Jill said and hung up right after.

Weirdo!..

I then looked at Joelle and took her hand.

—

Joelle and I then found Jill and Shanice at the sushi place.

I sat down beside Jill and ordered some sushi.

"I saw you two hold hands. What was that about?" Jill whispered to me

I looked at her with big eyes.

"Nothing happened Jill. Trust me. We just talked about Germany and how things are going for her" I whispered back.

"Yeah right" Jill said.

I rolled my eyes at her and then saw the sushi come to our table

"Finally bro. I want sushi now" I said, making the girls laugh at me.

—

When we were done eating, we walked back to the hotel.

"Hey Jill and Shanice. Would it be okay if we switch rooms, so Y/n and I could room together?" Joelle asked them.

"Of course. Y/n, let's get your things into Joelle's room" Jill answered with a smirk.

I sighed as I walked with Jill to our room.

"This is your chance Y/n" Jill said.

"Whatever" I replied as I rolled my eyes at her.

I took all my things and walked into Joelle's room.

Only Joelle was there in her bed, so I jumped into her arms.

"Take it eyes, babygirl" she said and kissed me.

I deepened the kiss and took control, but that didn't last long, cause Joelle took her hands to my butt and flipped us around, so she now was on top of me.

She deepened the kiss even more and took her tongue into my mouth.

We were so lost in the kiss that we didn't hear the door open and Jill and Shanice came inside.

"What the fuck is going on" Jill yelled, so we could hear it.

Both Joelle and I jumped, surprised when we saw them stand right there.

"Uhhh-" Shanice didn't give me the chance to finish

"When did this happen?" she asked with her mouth open, probably still shocked.

"We have maybe been dating for some time" Joelle replied with a nervous smile.

"For how long?" Jill asked.

"9 months" I answered and laughed nervously.

"Shanice, you owe me some money," Jill said with a smile.

I looked at her confused.

"You made a bet on my dating life?" I asked her.

"Of course. You two are really bad at hiding it," Jill answered.

"But who did Shanice think I was with?" I asked her, curiously.

"I thought you were with your Chelsea-teammate, Jessie Fleming" she said and I died of laughter.

"Seriously?! She is like a sister to me. I would never ever date her," I said.

"She would only date me" Joelle added with a smile and kissed my cheek.

"That's right," I responded with a big smile, looking at Joelle.

"Aww, young love"

—

[crimsonbluemoon]

I AGREE 1000% like I just look in AO3 tags to try to find a good angst or BAMF Sapnap centric fic of him just girlbossing gatekeeping and gaslighting everyone who's wronged him (there are good ones, I'm just being dramatic) like let the man do awesome shit canon too. LET HIM HAVE HIS HUSBANDS TOO GOD DAMMIT

Sorry I'm too passionate about Sapnap

I think I know why I like Sapnap so much, idk why but he reminds me so much of Kryoz like just the sassiness and the deadpan replies idk is it just me?

I did read one story that was DNF with a side karlnap and the way Sapnap was written was just so amazing! I felt horrible because he got outted in like the worst way and the story focused on his struggles with his sexual identity being exposed (while he himself didn't know what he was feeling) and the consequences of that, but uggggh it was sad in the best way. Just enough angst to be painful without me refusing to finish it.

See I wasn't the biggest fan of Kryoz, but I think the big difference between Sapnap and Kryoz is like...Kryoz has his people he cares about, and doesnt give a fuck about anyone else. And thats not like a bad thing per say but he is super cuddly and flirty with his 1 or 2 peeps (mainly Smit lets be real). Sapnap is just...a literal panda. Wants everyone happy, can be super hyped and the biggest cheerleader for any of the guys in the group, or the soft shoulder to rely on when its just a 1 on 1 stream. He isnt all up in your face about his love, but if any of his friends ask for affection, hes so quick to give it. Karl's love language is obviously touch, and at first Sap was so unsure how to handle it when he visited, but then you can literally watch his progression and slow adaption to Karl's mode of affection because he wanted to support Karl. He lets himself be the background to let others shine, but he can seriously hold a stream with his awkwardness and quirky half-smiles when he streams.

Also he sings on his streams and he doesnt even care which is such a sweet way to show his fans to just be okay with what makes them happy.

Saps just the best. ^.^ (Im also listening to his stream atm while I write this)

[mssjynx]

The ship name BasicallyidoSmii7y implies Marcel is a top and I can’t argue

boi in what world would smii7y top marcel- 

to me, smit is forever a bottom. he can be a sassy power bottom and a controlling lil shit but, man, smit loves it up the ass ;)

[dargonwriter]

Rating:

General Audiences

Archive Warning:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)

Relationship:

Runaan/Tinker | Necklace Elf (The Dragon Prince)

Characters:

Tinker | Necklace Elf (The Dragon Prince)

Runaan (The Dragon Prince)

Additional Tags:

Implied/Referenced Character Death

Tinker Doesn't Know Runaan Is Alive

This Was From October

Happy Birthday Runaan

i do not apologize

Language: English Published: 2019-05-17 Words: 1393 Chapters: 1/1 Hits: 1

Summary: 

May seventeenth. Runaan's birthday.

Tinker stared down the sunken lotus in the pond, willing it to rise again, even if he knew it wouldn't.

Read it below or on Ao3!

May seventeenth. Runaan's birthday.

Tinker stared down the sunken lotus in the pond, willing it to rise again, even if he knew it wouldn't.

He had been here every day since he saw the lotus sink, each time the sun rose he was there, and often when the sun set he would sleep with his cheek pressed into the cool stone of the fountain.

His reflection, with hollowed eyes and a constant frown on his face, stared back at him on the water, revealing just how much Tinker had changed since that first day, when he had smiled, hopelessly smitted, upon every thought of the moonshadow assassin.

He missed the days when he could smile at all.

With a heavy sigh, he rested his chin on his arms and looked past the reflection, instead again at the final, lonely lotus on the water. His eyes felt heavy, watching it sway back and forth, and with one more breath, he slid his eyes shut and allowed the sweet arms of sleep to take him from this grief for a time.

"You're sure this will be a good idea?"

Tinker smiled at his partner, looking over the bow/sword hybrid Tinker had made him. It was crafted of the best metal the Earthblood elves would give him (which was pretty good considering how much Earthblood and Sunfire elves got along) and Tinker had spent weeks watching Runaan fight and train before he even started the weapon.

"I'm confident." Tinker answered with a proud nod, then reached forward and took the weapon back, intending to show its features. "The handles are here," He grabbed at the center of the arch, where the grips were, then held the release buttons and pulled them apart, into two blades. The string snapped as easy as a spider's web and fell to the ground between both of them innocently. Just as it's supposed to. "It may take some practice to change the mode as quick as you can change weapons normally but this will mean you don't have to make a distance between you and your attacker to switch from your bow to your swords like you had to before. They're the same." He placed the handles together and let the swords click, smiling as it formed a bow once again.

"And what of the string?" Runaan asked, running a finger over the blade. Tinker smirked and waited until Runaan's hand was near the point of the tip blade, then pressed a button on the grip, releasing a wire from the tip that was attracted to the other blade with magnetized metal and wrapped itself there. He laughed when Runaan drew his hand back with a snap, holding it close, going pale in his surprise. "Tinker..." Runaan said with a voice usually saved for scolding Rayla, but Tinker continued to laugh. Runaan looked so surprised. How could he not laugh?

"It's a button." Tinker finally explained, trying to hold back more giggles and snorts trying to escape. He handed the bowblade to Runaan again and lightly tapped the flatter button directly beneath where the hand would go, camouflaged to blend with the rest of the bow. "When you break the weapon," He positioned Runaan's hands in the right way without the other giving any resistance, then had him press his thumbs to the release buttons and pull them apart. The handles disconnected again, and again the wire was cut off. "The string will immediately fall off without any prompting. and when you put them back together..." He had Runaan connect them. "Just put them together and the handles will combine," Then he pressured the back of Runaan's hand until the palm pressed the flatter button and triggered the wire mechanism. "The bow will string itself, and afterwards the button you pressed will deactivate until you change it to swords, then to the bow." He removed his hands and placed them in his lap, watching Runaan look over it a second time with poorly concealed excitement.

"What happens when I run out of string?" Runaan asked, breaking the bow again without Tinker's help this time.

"There's enough wire in there to cross not only all of Xadia, but the human kings as well." Tinker hummed. "But If  you run out, somehow, you'll have to make do with just the swords until you can bring it back to me so I can put more wire in it."

Runaan seemed to accept the answer because he nodded, then placed the bow down and pulled Tinker into a hug. Tinker was caught off guard and gave a gasp but quickly hugged back because damn if he would pass up any touch out in public (or... semi-public perhaps) like this. "Thank you." He heard Runaan say into his ear, then the other elf retreated and the contact was gone.

"Of course." Tinker replied with a soft smile that was returned with an even softer smile from Runaan. Tinker felt his cheeks warm up more than they normally war in response to that smile, for him and him alone, and in a small panic of being found out for that smile immediately, Tinker cleared his throat, then got up. "How about we go out and you can try to practice with it." He offered his hand to Runaan, even though he knew full well Runaan could get up on his own, and pulled the Moonshadow up once he took Tink's hand.

"It's getting dark, though." Runaan pointed out, glancing at the setting sun. Tinker only hummed and nodded.

"Which means you'll be an even better shot."

"But it means you can't see anything." Was Runaan's sassy response. Tinker crossed his arms and Runaan mirrored him, except he held the bow so when he did it he looked just as deadly as Tinker knew he was. but Tinker didn't care.

"I'll see plenty." Tinker laughed, grabbing one of Runaan's arms and dragging the tall elf outside while the sun set above.

"Tinker..." A voice drove the sunfire out of his dream. He turned, setting his eyes upon a moonshadow elf that was not his own.

Tinker had never truly met the elves who would accompany Rayla and Runaan into Katolis to avenge the dragon king, but he saw them just before they departed. Four others. Six in all. Yet in front of him stood only one. The one with the short hair, Castillo. He was bruised and cut in every place, on his wrist was a ribbon tied so tight it made his hand purple, and he looked tired beyond compare, but Tinker only saw what in his hands:

A bow. A bow made of the strongest metals Earthblood's would give, with two blades on either end, connected at the handles. Runaan's bow.

"No..." He whispered, frozen. The lotus was one thing, but this...

No.. No please...

"The king is dead... Runaan did the deed himself..." Castillo explained, coming closer carefully and handing the bow/sword hybrid to Tinker, but Tinker never felt the cold metal. All he felt was the heartbreak.

The love of his life...

"I'm so sorry." Castillo murmured. "He did what was best, and sacrificed his life for the mission. He did what he had to." Castillo turned and said one more thing, though his words were lost to Tinker's own beating heart.

Tinker's eyes widened, looking over his fallen partner's weapon until it blurred.

Tinker didn't know when the tears started falling, but they fell long and hard, and he sobbed and clutched the bow tightly, his arms catching on the metal and slicing, yet the pain was nothing to the pure hurt in his heart.

He didn't stop crying, not even as the sun set, not even in the darkness. All that waiting by the fountain, this was the breaking point. Runaan was gone...

He opened his eyes once more to see the weapon, the last thing he had of his assassin. His eyes widened as he faintly noticed scratch marks on the green of the blade. Except they weren't scratch marks... They were words. Another tear fell as he tried to make out the words in the dark, and he whispered aloud what they said:

"My heart, my soul, my life. For Tinker."

May seventeenth. Runaan's birthday.

May seventeenth. The day Tinker stopped willing the sunken lotus to rise again.

[swithe-ist]

ewan mcgregor = fantastic, no notes. same with joel edgerton. jimmy smits looking rough as guts, tbh, but still has it. good to see a clone! kumail was pretty funny, I’m glad he wasn’t actually a jedi.

rest of the show = hahahahaaaa still as lame as boba fett. the writing and inquisitors are awful. big cheap saturday morning cartoon energy, not in the good way. first episode was embarrassing, second one was a bit better.

I don’t care about the inquisitor trying to prove herself or w/e. why does she know who vader is? wtf. and she kills the grand inquisitor? wasn’t that kanan jarrus?

anakin looked supremely silly. like, power rangers silly.

did not love leia’s sassy girlboss princess adventures shit either, but that’s disney for you. it was nice to see alderaan though, I guess.

[chinxino5-blog]

new years clash

krii7y fic - [ fluff collab ] warnings: kisses 4917 words

author’s note: hey guys! this fic was written by @bananabussquad-er​ and myself! it was their idea and a really fun one to play with. tysm ^^

-

Smitty wasn't happy. At all. Craig had found out about a New Year's party being held in the town's recreation center, a huge building that had a large room big perfect for it, and just had to drag him with him, so Craig wouldn't be going alone. Smitty would have been fine with it, if there weren't so many people attending. Most of the town was going. All people over eighteen who didn't have plans or weren't taking care of their kids were planning to be there, even some older people. Didn't help that he had to wear an itchy mask that covered the top half of his face, from his forehead to the tip of his nose.

“Why are we wearing masks again?” he had asked as he put it on, Craig standing by his car. He had come to pick him up. Craig was wearing a nice suit, dark blue undershirt and tie, complimenting his silver hair that he fixed up, his dark blue mask hiding the top half of his face and making him almost unrecognizable. Smitty was wearing a similar tux, sporting the regular white undershirt but a blue and red tie that went nicely with the red and blue colored mask Craig had gotten his friend Anthony to paint so he wouldn't have a boring white mask, his fluffy hair brushed and fixed as neatly as he could get it.

“Because,” Craig replied, as they got in his car. “It's masquerade themed. We wear masks to hide our faces, and after we kiss someone at midnight we take them off. It's kind of tradition around here, not sure how when it even started.” Smitty had only moved into the town from Canada during the summer, so he was still getting use to all the traditions, and unbagged milk.

Craig started the car when they buckled up, and drove off to the place of the party that was starting in an hour. It was almost half an hour drive, so the chances of being late were slim. On the way they chatted about random things, ranging from the newest games coming out soon to what the cutest breed of dog was. Before Smitty knew it, they were pulling into the parking lot of the center, hunting for a free space, as it was a crowded parking lot, even though it was a rather large one.

“Can't believe you're really making me do this,” the Canadian muttered as he got out of the car, having found a space after about five minutes of searching. “I could be snuggled up on the couch drinking hot chocolate and watching Netflix right now.” Craig snorted in reply.

“You can do that tomorrow night. Besides, you might be able to land a date.” Now it was Smitty's turn to snort.

“Sounds fake but okay.” The pair made their way to the front entrance decorated with New Year's banners and walked inside, walking into the room where the actual party was taking place. Smitty was taken slightly aback at how packed it was, even though there was still half an hour left until it officially begun. It was going to be a pain to move around.

“C’mon Smit let's check out the drinks,” Craig stated and was dragged through the pack of people to a large table where cups and small dishes of snacks sat, the dish pull if cheetos already dangerously low. After scanning the drinks to make sure he wasn't giving him alcohol, Craig handed him a cup of a fizzy clear liquid, most likely Sprite. It was confirmed after a cautious sip.

“I'm letting you go now, don't make a fool of yourself or drink any alcohol if you find any,” the silver haired male warned and disappeared into the mob before Smitty could open his mouth. Seriously?

Smitty stood by the refreshments, unsure what to do. Finish his drink? Jump into the crowd? Go outside and escape? Deciding that his friend would be coming for his ass if he did the third, and his drink might be spilled on himself if he were to walk through right then, Smitty continued to sip his drink. Minutes later he stood uncertain, looking for a trash can. He caught a glimpse of one on the other side of the room, by the door, and made his way towards it, quietly excusing himself as he squeezed in between people. After making his way to the small can he deposited his trash and turned to the crowd of people, judging what would the best next move. Suddenly a voice from a megaphone startled him, and he turned to his right to see the mayor, an old but lively man, standing on the small stage with a megaphone clutched to his hands and held up to his mouth.

“Alright everyone, are you ready for this party to begin?” he started, and paused as majority or the party cheered, a few raising the cups they got from the refreshments table. The mayor continued.

“Well, it has begun! A few things before I let you go however, as always. Bathrooms are just outside the room, just take a left when you get out the door. We will begin the countdown a minute ‘til midnight as always,” he pointed to the huge clock hanging above the drinks. “And please try to keep masks on until the New Year has begun, we don't want your secret identify to be revealed, now do we?” Some people chuckled. The mayor walked off the stage signalling he was done speaking as the room filled with music and conversations, a lot filled with laughter, a happy atmosphere quickly filling the room. The lights dimmed, making it a bit harder to see someone's face. Smitty wondered what to do. After some thought, he decided another drink would be nice, and started his way back to the drinks. This time he didn't make it. Halfway through, a body slammed into him, knocking him flat on his ass but luckily not hitting anyone else on his way down. Cursing, Smitty looked to see who committed the act.

A man almost as tall as him stood before him, blonde hair flowing around his face, dark roots starting to show. A black mask decorated his face, matching his tux, which was white, but with black tie and undershirt, almost the complete opposite of what Smitty himself was wearing. White painted nails and ringed hands went to his mouth as the man before him gasped quietly. The stranger held his hand out to help him up, but Smitty shooed it away and hopped up by himself. Now that he was up, and had a better view of the male who bumped into him, Smitty found the guy rather attractive.

“Sorry about that, man, it's so damn dark in here and I didn't see you,” he apologized, shrugging his shoulders. A playful and intriguing aura surrounded him.

“I'm like, the same height as you how did you not see me?” Smitty shot back, more in playfulness than anger.

“It's dark! And you're wearing dark clothes!” the hot stranger replied, grin on his face that really suited him, biting back a laugh. He stuck his hand out. “I'm John, by the way. Guess you'd like to know the name of the man who knocked your ass to the floor.” Smitty smiled and grasped John's hand, shaking it.

“I'm Smitty, and you owe me five dollars for that.” John laughed and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a five dollar bill and handed it to him.

“Hey, I was joking y’know,” Smitty chuckled as he held up his hands. John didn't move his hand away, but shook it, the bill fluttering in his grasp.

“No, take it as an apology,” he stated with confidence, as if he knew Smitty wouldn't refuse again. “Besides, I don't mind giving my money to cute strangers.” Smitty felt his cheeks heat up as he stared at John, who just called him cute. Slightly flustered, he grabbed the money from his hand and pocketed it, turning his head to stare at the wall instead of at John.

“Why were you walking over here anyways?” John asked, successfully drawing his attention back to the man.

“I was getting a drink, why else would I be walking towards the table with cups of drinks, ya dumbass?” Smitty replied, a playful and sassy smirk resting on his lips.

“Ah yes, I can perfectly see the refreshment table out the back on my head and through the fucking horde of people,” John sarcastically deadpanned, the same smirk working its way into his own mouth.

“Alright, you attractive little fuck,” Smitty spoke, not really thinking of what was coming from his mouth until he'd already said it, “Want to get a drink with me?” He could practically see him raise an eyebrow from under his mask and his smirk grew bigger.

“‘Attractive little fuck,’ that's a new one. Sure, I'm up for a drink,” John replied and before he could blink his hand was grabbed by one of John's ringed hands and he was pulled along to the refreshment table, blushing lightly from the contact.

“You want the dark drink, the dark fizzy drink, or the clear fizzy drink?” John asked when they reached the table. Smitty grabbed the nearest, holding the Sprite, and took a sip, almost choking from giggling when John muttered “rude” and chose his own drink, the dark drink, which was actually punch. John looked at the snacks and grabbed a handful of cheetos from the fresh bowl of them, popping them in his mouth and chewing. Smitty watched in amusement as he realised he might have found the reason the cheetos were low earlier.

“So, what now?” the blonde asked around his mouthful of junk food. Smitty snickered and shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. He felt something being placed in his hair and after reaching up and plucking a pretzel stick from his now ruffled hair, he turned to John with a look on playful unamusement as the other tried to hide his laugh in his cup. Smiling mischievously, Smitty waited until John lowered his cup and dropped the pretzel into his punch. His triumph was crushed when John simply took a calm gulp of his punch, lowered his cup and smirked as the pretzel laid grasped in between his lips like a cigarette. A second later he opened his mouth and tipped his head back, the salty stick falling into his mouth. Having known he’d won, John happily chewed, Smitty squinting at him, thinking of what he should do next. He downed the rest of his drink and an idea struck him.

After waiting for John to turn away for more food, he flipped his cup upside down and placed it on John's head, who swatted it off after he felt the few remaining drop fall onto his scalp. Smitty chuckled as he waited for what John would do next. He was surprised when he grabbed his tie and tugged him close, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his masked face became inches from John's own masked face, making him start to turn red. John grinned evilly and a handful of potato chips were shoved into his face. Jumping back with a yell of surprise, Smitty shook the food off his face and a few crumbs that made it in the front of his hair while John laughed.

“You piece of shit, that was unnecessary,” he laughed as John stifled his own laugh.

“What are you going to do about it?” John dared, mischief shining on his face.

“You’ll just have to –“

“Alright, guys, gals and non-binary pals! We have one minute until the New Year! Everybody find yourself some space, find yourself a partner and get ready to count down from twenty!” Smitty jumped at the voice, enhanced once again by the megaphone as the music lowered and the screen above the stage faded to black, big white numbers counting down from sixty.

60. 59. 58…

Craig had said specifically that the tradition was to kiss someone at midnight. “Find a partner” was the announcer’s instruction, and looking around to the people closest to them, it was very obviously what they were all doing. Noticeable pairs were splitting off and focusing on one another. Hands on waists, hands on shoulders, hands holding other hands. The atmosphere was thick with excitement and anticipation and when Smitty turned to the man beside him, eyes wide, John was raising a hand to him.

Alarm and panic spiked the adrenaline in his blood and John hesitated. His eyes flickered with concern, barely visible beneath his mask. He stepped forward nonetheless, but didn’t push into Smitty’s personal space. Instead, he reached forward, took the white-haired man’s hand and smiled lightly. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, dude. If you’re already in a relationship or something, I’m not gonna push you to do anything you don’t want to do.” The words were soft and reassuring, complete respect for Smitty’s boundaries.

46. 45. 44. 43…

Smitty found himself torn at his words, a heavy attraction for this man like a cloud around his common sense. It wasn’t exactly normal to kiss a random stranger. Maybe for some people, but not for him. Despite his loud and obnoxious attitude, he wasn’t the bravest and liked to remain in his comfort zone. It wasn’t the most exciting way to live but he liked it and it kept him happy.

But there he was, standing in front of an attractive guy at a masquerade party on the thirty-first of December with the tradition of a New Year’s Kiss hanging above both of their heads. The panicked adrenaline pouring into his system shifted, something of excitement and daring. To do something he usually wouldn’t. Something he wasn’t used to doing. Something that could end right there and then or lead to something even better…

His eyes rose from their linked hands to meet the patient face of his partner.

30. 29…

Only half of John’s face could be seen and the whole room seemed to set on fire around them as Smitty admired the smooth skin and pink lips. His lips were set in a soft smile, content about whatever outcome was provided with them. There was no haste, or discomfort, or judgement, just calmness.

He was okay with whatever Smitty was okay with and warmth spread from the Canadian’s lungs right down to his fingertips and toes. He wasn’t a total stranger. They’d been talking for a while and they knew each other’s names. Hell they’d been shoving food in each other’s faces.

John’s eyes looked above Smitty’s, his lips pulling into a small amused smile. Curious and patient, he didn’t move as John’s free hand rose to his face. He waited as his hair was pulled slightly and a few crumbs fell past his face. His hand fell away, dropping pieces of broken potato chips to their feet.

The touch lingered at his hairline and Smitty sucked in a breath, taking the leap. He reached up and took a loose hold of John’s fingers before they could be pulled away. Their eyes met, John’s surprised and curious while Smitty’s were shy and nervous. Still, he pulled the fingers away from his forehead and down to his cheek.

23. 22. 21…

“Twenty!” the announcer called, starting the crowd in their countdown.

“Nineteen. Eighteen. Seventeen. Sixteen.” Smitty joined in with the rest of them, holding John’s eye contact as the countdown dropped from his lips. He kept John’s hand up beside his face, his fingertips leaving shy kisses below his ear. With the rest of the confidence he could muster, he pressed the hand lightly against his cheek and jaw and dropped his own hand away. “Fifteen. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve.”

He pulled the hand held in John’s to his chest, urging the man another step closer. John’s surprise melted, his lips turning up in a pleasant smile. His touch was light and everything about him remained soft as the two were eased closer together. “Eleven. Ten. Nine. Eight.” Their intertwined hands were caught between their chests, John’s hand feather-light against the side of Smitty’s face. He counted with him then, both their voices barely audible as they breathed in the moment.

Anticipation fluttered in Smitty’s lungs. Excitement. Exhilaration. Fear. His eyes fluttered as John ran the pad of his thumb across his lower lip, parting them just slightly.

“Seven. Six. Five. Four.”

Smitty’s last thought was spared to Craig, wondering whether he’d found a partner, thanking him for bringing him along, wondering what he’d say if he knew what was happening. But as John counted out the last three numbers, thumb returning to bottom of Smitty’s mask, his mind drew a blank. “Three. Two. One.”

He curled his fingers into the fabric of John’s undershirt and he pushed forwards, lips pressing against John’s. Screams sounded throughout the building from those who weren’t being kissed and five massive bangs sounded above them, fireworks exploding colours across the sky outside for the rest of the town to see. Couples all around them held one another close, kissing and laughing and revelling in the moment that the New Year had begun. The whole room was full of joy and excitement and cheer, and Smitty barely even noticed.

He was lost in his own world, lips moving against John’s as his own fireworks set off in his chest. The butterflies of anticipation exploded into sparks of colour and excitement, spreading fizzing happiness across the surface of his skin as his hair stood on end.

John’s hand on his cheek eased his face up slightly, and he tilted his head to avoid bumping noses. Smitty slipped his hand from between them, unlinking their fingers. It found comfort at the back of his head, tangling in the long blond hair as his other slid up to rest on his shoulder. John’s fell to his waist, leaving an invisible handprint burnt into the side of Smitty’s face as they settled beneath the suit jacket.

It was heavenly. The touching, the breathing, the pounding of their hearts. John pulled him closer and he was enveloped in the warmth and affection of the kiss. The long few moments lasted for an eternity before John was pulling back and Smitty was left blinking rapidly with a lack of oxygen in his brain.

Neither of them removed their hands, neither bothered to put space between them. They just stared at each other, chests heaving. There was no oxygen to even speak.

Who needs oxygen anyway? Smitty thought, smiling at the man before him. He leaned forward and pressed another shorter kiss to his lips, sweet and simple, before he fell back on his heels and detangled his hand from John’s hair.

“Well,” John breathed, almost panting. Smitty couldn’t fight the smile on his face and John found it impossible not to smile also.

“Happy New Year,” the Canadian said, grinning around each word. The beating of their hearts throbbed in their ears as well as the consistent popping of fireworks outside and John pulled his hands away from Smitty’s hips. The dark-haired man watched curiously as he reached up and took off his own mask, revealing the rest of his face and running a hand through his hair. Smitty’s grin fell from his face and he gaped. “Holy shit, you got even hotter,” he blurted out, barely thinking about his words before they were out of his mouth.

John laughed, grin wide and eyes sparkling as Smitty just stared. “You gonna take yours off?” he asked after a few moments, playful and teasing as the other blinked.

“Oh, fuck, right,” he fumbled, reaching up and pulling his own mask off. The cool air hit the top half of his face and John’s eyes sparkled. Before he could react, a hand was curling around the back of his neck and he was being kissed again.

There was definitely no resistance as his hands flew back to John’s shoulders, savouring the moment before they pulled apart and John was digging both hands into his pockets. Smitty watched curiously, fingertips ghosting along his bottom lip in surprise from the unexpected kiss.

Before he had the chance to say anything else, a phone was held out to him, John’s lopsided smile welcoming him to take it from him. Cautiously, he did so, careful not to drop the device as he blinked down at the notes page that was open on the screen.

“I want to see you again,” John explained, taking a half step forward to press a kiss to the side of his forehead while his head was tilted down. Now that Smitty didn’t have a mask to hide his red-flushed cheeks he continued to stare at the screen. He hoped that the shaking in his fingers wasn’t obvious as he typed in his number. When he shyly handed it back, John smiled and he caught himself unable to look away. “Plus, you’re a cutie and a good kisser. I’ll text you about a date later in the week?”

Smitty’s eyes were blown wide. “O-oh, um, yeah. Yeah sure. I’d love that, I mean, that’d be cool, yeah. Um. Thanks,” he stammered and stayed statue-still as John ran his hand through his dark hair, pressing a kiss just below his eye before backing off.

“Happy New Year,” he said softly, little smile painting itself to the insides of Smitty’s eyelids before he turned and disappeared into the crowd which was getting riled up once again as loud music started to pump through the building. Smitty just stared, in complete awe as he tried to recall what exactly had happened in the last hour of his life.

He didn’t even bother grabbing another drink as he messaged Craig where to find him. After another few minutes, the silver-haired brit appeared with a grin on his face. “How was it? Enjoy yourself?” he asked, tapping his friend on the shoulder. Smitty was still trying to actually process what had happened, and by the stunned expression on his face Craig knew something exciting happened. “What happened!?” he demanded, shaking the man by his shoulders.

Smitty blinked up at him and managed a wobbly smile. “I think I’ve forgotten my name… but his was John, and we’re going on a date next week,” he explained slowly. Saying the words aloud seemed too good to be real. “I’m going on a date. With John. Next week,” he repeated. A grin spread across his face and he grabbed his best friend’s hands excitedly. “I’m going on a date with him!” he squeaked, almost jumping up and down with excitement. “He’s so hot, Craig! And he’s a really good kisser, oh my God, he’s so kind. I… Oh my God.”

Craig laughed, throwing an arm around his friend and leading him forward. He didn’t know if Smitty would be able to walk by himself without running into someone or tripping. “Told you tonight was a good idea.”

-

Monday, 17:39.

John -> Smitty

John: friday @ 5 ill pick u up for our date

John: txt me ur address

Smitty: sounds great. what we doing?

John: its a secret

Smitty: are you gonna take me to a park and murder me when we’re alone?

John: guess you’ll have to wait and see ;)

Smitty: oh boy

note: tysm for the collab! super cute little fic.

hope you enjoy! let me know what you think <3 

[jihoongi]

Dutch commentator: "he made a pun. h a h." Jan Smit you stop your sarcasm right now you sassy piece of shit

[ivnwrites]

Me Watching Rogue One

“Sir, should we land at least marginally close to the person we need to retrieve?”    “No! I must dramatically walk across a field first.”

If you’re gonna wear a stupid cape, you could at least make it out of a fabric that could absorb/protect against blaster bolts.

“It’s a planet killer.”.........Which one! I can name 5 off the top of my head!

This is Capt. Cassian Andor, the sexiest mexican in star wars.

JIMMY SMITS!!!!!!!! Wait, what? He’s on screen for like two seconds and never talks? I feel ripped off.

SASSY ROBOT ALAN TUDYK IS THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE!!!!!!

Riz Ahmed’s accent sounds kind of like Alexander Siddig. Now I want a movie where they play father and son.

Oooooooh, Forrest Whitaker has asthma! Scary! Bad guy with a weird raspy voice, Again!

Peter Cushing looks like a really photo realistic video game character. Well done, but he topples over into the uncanny valley sometimes. Also the guy voicing him needed to be crisper.

Ooh look, it’s the flickering significant hologram trope. Again.

THAT'S NOT HOW REACTORS WORK, DUMBASS

I'm so upset right now

HEAR ME OUT: Nuclear reactors work by smacking a bunch of atoms together, and harnessing the power produced when they break apart. I can get into all the safeguards, but I'm not going to, suffice to say, it's a chain of controlled explosions. So he says "Any pressurized explosion to the reactor module will set off a chain reaction that will destroy the entire station" Well a nuclear reaction is made up of a bunch of explosions inside the reactor, so if it only takes one to destroy not only the reactor but the entire thing that it's powering, you've created a power source that isn't just "unstable" it's unusable. That's not a design flaw ANYONE could overlook. The instant you power it up, it's gonna go into meltdown and fuck everyone up. 

“Oh it’s beautiful.” GAAAAAAAAY (I saw this as a queer individual myself)

Ooooooh it’s the scary planet with storms trope. Again.

Did Donnie Yen only agree to do this movie on the condition that he could constantly be throwing shade?

Oh would you look at that, it’s the over-dramatic rain. Again.

So there were no women involved in the design of the death star? At all?

“Grab anything that’s not nailed down.” Well someone’s been playing skyrim.

If the plans are stored in a digital archive with an outgoing signal, why not just hack into it?

I paid little to no attention to the last 3rd of the movie. Drawn out battle scenes bore me.

Oh look, they’re picking off characters one by one. Again.

CGI Carrie Fisher is going to haunt me.

[williamjtucker]

via Tree Pruning Dallas

[nettvnow-blog]

British Comedy Gazelle Announces Season 2 Premiere

Created, written and produced by Peter Hignett, Gazelle is a mockumentary web series gearing up for its season two premiere this Sunday, June 18th at  11 AM CST/5 PM BST.

Gazelle La France is back and ready to continue her reign over the cosmetics industry and keep her line, La Petit Chien on top. In season one, we followed Gazelle and her disgruntled step-daughter Samana who tried to undermine her at every opportunity.

Season two is promising more drama, a new nemesis, sassy Samantha and of course, more Gazelle. The series stars Beth Mayoh, Thomas-Ian Grime, Debria Leigh-Taylor, Dana Smit and is directed and produced by Edgars Birznieks.

Tune in Sunday for the first episode and keep up with the series on Twitter for even more series updates and BTS footage.

Catch the season two trailer today and catch up on the first season now.