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starlightxsvt · 3 years ago

Text

Because I Love You I c.sc

pairing ➳ best friend!seungcheol x female! reader

genre ➳ best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, a good dose of angst, lots of pinning, fluff to heal your heart, a lil spice.

warnings ➳ cursing, jealousy(lots of it), Mingyu being a big dumdum, Halloween party( yes ik very well halloween is over), reader wears a slutty witch outfit, emotional constipation ig, they are both idiots, arguments, crying, heavy makeouts, them both horny.

word count ➳ 9.3k

synopsis ➳ harboring feelings for your best friend of years have never been this hard. now, when he shows up with a beautiful girl in his arms you aren't sure how long you can keep your feelings to yourself.

playlist ➳ because I love you- gummy// lie- sasha sloan// in silence- janet suhh// teenage dream- katy perry// lean on me- seventeen// you belong with me- taylor swift.

a/n: hi hi everyone! It is here! A good dose of pinning and angst and jealousy is finally here! I had a fun time writing it and I hope y'all feel the same while reading this. Let me know your thoughts please 🥰

When you first saw Seungcheol, he was a floofy haired boy wearing this cute jumper and baggy pants. His cheeks were squishy and his smile was gummy which instantly warmed your heart and made you want to be friends with him. Which you did.

It was middle school then.

Now you are in college.

Seungcheol still has his squishy cheeks and his gummy smile but now they sit on a tall, well-built and dashingly handsome man. But he hasn't changed. He's still the same boy at heart, who welcomed you into his circle with open arms all those years ago.

If anything has changed though, it's your feelings for him. You two started as friends and soon became best friends, literally inseparable from each other all through middle school and then high school.

Now at 21 years and in college, you have realized how exactly deep your feelings run for your best friend. The wake-up call was when he showed up with Evelyn; a sweet, petite brunette at a get-together with all your friends.

That was the first time Seungcheol showed up with a girl anywhere and you realized it's serious as Seungcheol is more of a one-night stand and no relationship type of guy. He was smiling ear to ear, his usual cheerfulness more prominent and you discerned he must really like her.

Now two months later, they are still going strong and seeing them together everyday has given birth to a little green monster inside you. And you hate yourself for it. Seungcheol is your best friend for fuck's sake, you should be happy that he is happy. But you are not. At this rate, you wonder how long you can continue your friendship with him before you lose your damn mind.

"Hey, you alright?" Seungcheol's voice makes you jump out of your reverie.

"Huh? Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"Really?" Seungcheol narrows his eyes at you in suspicion. You shift under his continuous stare because you know how well he can read you. "If something is bothering you, you can always tell me, you know?" He adds softly. "Of course I know Cheol. I promise I'm fine." You try your best to act unbothered.

He nods understandingly before a ping comes from his phone, alerting him of a text which he checks immediately. "I gotta go, _____. Let's hang out sometime, yeah? Just you and me."

"Hmm, yeah, sure." You give him a thumbs up as he jogs away. As soon as he's gone you let out a breath of relief, sagging back into the bench. However, your time to yourself is shortlived.

"_____!" A loud voice calls your name and you turn to see Mingyu running towards you, hand waving wildly in the air.

"If you are here for my notes then get lost Mingyu," you say dismissively before he can even come close. The giant man whines before sitting down next to you, his lips shaped into a pout. "Come on babe~ don't be like that. I just came to say hi."

"Mhmm," you hum, not buying his words.

"When are you gonna tell him that you like him?" He nudges your shoulder with a smirk on his face as you whip your head towards him. "What! I don't have a crush on Seungcheol!"

"I didn't say who," The bastard's smirk grows bigger as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You feel your whole face heat up.

Oh god.

Laughing at your flustered state Mingyu sighs, "I knew for years. You probably had a crush on him when you first joined our group. You keep looking at him with these lovey-dovey eyes."

"Shut up, Gyu!" You smack his arm. "If you tell Cheol a word about this I swear-"

"I swear my lips are shut," He holds up his hands in surrender. "But...you know, I could help you get him." He comes closer to you. You roll your eyes with a defeated sigh, "What are you trying to do, Mingyu?"

"Nothing!" He gasps, offended. But then he coughs, scratching the back of his head, "Well, there's this red-haired babe in your psychology class and I was wondering if you could set me up with her." You watch him, baffled. "Idiot, you don't even know her name! Besides, what am I? A matchmaking service?" You roll your eyes at his antics to get inside yet another girl's pants. Mingyu has quite the reputation around the campus for jumping from one girl's bed to another's.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that," Mingyu keeps whining like a child. "I help you, you help me. Or more like I help you get the man you've been in love with and you just hook me up with this girl."

"What is your grand plan to get me the man I've been in love with, may I ask?" You raise a brow at him. His face inches closer to yours and a conspirational grin appears on his face, "You see, there's this huge ass fancy Halloween party at Joshua's place this Friday. And you, my babe, are gonna show up in the sexiest outfit in town- hold up, it gets better! I am gonna act all handsy with you, ya know what I mean?" He wiggles his brow and you let out an annoyed groan, pushing his face away, "Yeah, that is like the worst plan in the history of plans, you dumbass. You really think you can make him jealous? He's in a fucking relationship, a very committed one at that!"

"Eh, I wouldn't be so sure," Mingyu shrugs, tilting his head. Your brows crease eyes narrowing on him, "What do you mean?" Blatantly ignoring you, the man continues, "Listen, you show up with me and then we get all touchy with each other in front of Seungcheol. When he sees me all over you, he should step in and if he does, bingo! That means he has feelings for you." You watch Mingyu with a bored face as he rambles on, wondering how stupid someone can be. It's truly a mystery why all girls go gaga over him.

However, later that night, when you lie down in your bed, Mingyu's words haunt you, and the more you keep thinking of it, the more convinced you feel.

How bad could it be? It doesn't hurt to try. It's harmless, right?

So somehow, you end up agreeing to Mingyu's offer, and the next day you both go out for outfit shopping where the giant man almost forces you into buying the skimpiest clothing ever, a slutty witch outfit. It's a black velvet top with the lowest neckline you've ever seen paired with a scrap of material they call a skirt. It also comes with mesh stockings and gloves and killer heels which are so long that you know your feet will be numb later on. When Friday comes and you stand in front of the mirror with the outfit on, you keep staring at your reflection with your jaw loose.

Why are you doing this again?

Sexy is probably the decent word to describe how you look. While doing your makeup you contemplate your decision and you almost chicken out, until Mingyu calls you to let you know he's outside your apartment. Asking the heavens for help, you walk out the door and when you meet him outside his jaw almost touches the floor as he whistles, "Holy shit, remind me why we're not dating?" You roll your eyes, "Shut up, Gyu."

Grinning evilly he laughs, "Just kidding babe. But you look fabulous. Real fabulous." Chuckling softly you move towards him complimenting, "You look fabulous as well." He's dressed in a vampire outfit, nothing too special, a white shirt and black cape and fangs, but he has the looks to make it special. "Shall we?" He extends his arm towards you and you grin, slipping yours in it.

When you arrive at the party it is going on in full swing, loud, full of not so sober students dressed in various outfits and it takes you a while to spot your friend group amidst the plenteous crowd. They are all relaxing in the backyard, drinks in their hands, laughing loudly over something. Your eyes land on him first, dressed in what you assume is a devil's costume, shiny black shirt paired with blazer and pants as the horns attached to a band are sitting in his hand.

"You guys are here!" Someone chirps but you don't pay attention, too busy looking at Seungcheol as he turns his head and stops his eyes on you before they dilate, probably in shock. Blatantly, he eyes you from top to bottom as you stand there shaking in your boots, realizing this was all a stupid idea.

"_____..." Seungcheol begins but gives up, professedly at a loss for words as he keeps on staring at you, making you feel only more flustered under his gaze. "_____! Wow, you look seriously hot!" Joshua says, appearing from somewhere with drinks in his hands. Evelyn, who is dressed in the prettiest angel costume ever, grins, agreeing with Joshua, "Seriously, you look bomb! That outfit? You're killing it."

"Thanks," you go demure with all the compliments and Mingyu decides it is the perfect time to get handsy with you as he throws a hand over your shoulder, pulling you close while almost smashing you into his huge chest and grinning, "Thanks, guys! I picked it for her!" You don't miss the way Seungcheol's brows furrow at Mingyu's reply and a faint hope blooms in your chest. Maybe, maybe he's jealous.

Seungcheol stands up, eyes on you as he saunters towards you. "_____, wow, you look...wow." You can't help the giggle that escapes you before you thank him for his compliment. Probably seeing Seungcheol talking to you, Mingyu wraps himself tighter around you, if that's even possible. You try to nudge him discreetly but he just keeps grinning like a fool before announcing, "I'll get some drinks for us. Wait here, babe."

Too busy glaring at Mingyu, you miss the way Seungcheol scowls at the interaction in front of him and as soon as Mingyu skips over towards the drinks, your best friend speaks, "Hey, can you spare me a second? Let's talk inside, it's too loud here."

"S-sure." Abruptly, he turns around and leans towards Evelyn to whisper something in her ear, and in reply, she nods, beaming at him. You follow Seungcheol inside Joshua's house, shuffling through the overflowing crowd all over and he leads you up the stairs and towards Joshua's bedroom, where you finally find some quiet.

"So...what's up?" You immediately plop down on Joshua's bed, thanks to the ridiculous heels which are nothing short of killing you. As if hesitantly, Seungcheol sits beside you, scratching the back of his head. "Did Mingyu really pick this for you?" He asks, motioning towards your outfit, and you nod, confused. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"No! No...I just- I've never seen you in something like this..." He murmurs and you see faint redness appear in his ears. You shrug, trying your best to appear unfazed, "Well, there's a first time for everything." Seungcheol simply nods and silence follow, making you chew on your lip anxiously. What's going with him? In your years of friendship, there has never been a time when things were this quiet and...awkward between the two of you. Awkward, right.

The air in the room feels extremely awkward, full of thick tension and you wonder why he is so silent when he called you here. You're about to open your mouth until he does. "Are you and Mingyu...a thing?"

"What?"

"Are you... like- dating Mingyu?"

"Why do you ask?" You question abruptly. Seungcheol looks taken aback for a while. "I'm...I'm your best friend. I am curious. I mean we recently had that talk about you dating and stuff and you appeared rather disinterested so I...I wasn't expecting to see you with someone...especially Mingyu. "

"What's wrong with Mingyu?"

He rolls his eyes, letting out a noise of annoyance, "Come on. You know how he is."

It is true that last week you and Seungcheol had a conversation about your rather plain dating life and him encouraging you to see someone to which you replied you'll think about it. So now, when you are seemingly dating, why is he so sour about it?

"I don't know what you are talking about, Cheol. Mingyu's pretty decent." You feign ignorance, adverting your gaze. Seungcheol rakes a hand through his hair, "You didn't exactly answer my question, _____. Are you dating him or not?" His voice sounds snappy suddenly and a frown comes over your face. You can't help the venom in your voice, "What is it to you, Seungcheol? Why are you so bothered? I can date him or just fuck him or whatever, what is it to you? Who are you, my dad?"

Shock colors your best friend's face and immediately you feel guilty. You don't know what made you spew those words and you instantly regret when you see him frown, hurt painted all over his face. "_____," he calls your name but then abruptly stops and you bite your lip.

Shit. How could you say those things to him?

You open your mouth, ready to apologize a hundred times when he stands up with a loud sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get nosy. I should go downstairs. They're waiting for me." His tone is flat, dejected and it breaks your heart into a million pieces. Tears burn your eyes but you're so choked up that you can't utter a word so you watch him leave.

"I fucked up bad, Gyu," you murmur in a hopeless tone. Mingyu, who doesn't seem all too bothered hums while digging into your leftover lunch. "I'm sure it's nothing you can't fix." He offers and you sigh, rubbing your forehead. "It's all your fault. If only I didn't listen to your stupid idea."

"Hey now! That's mean!" The puppy-like man pouts making you roll your eyes heavenward. "It was a fantastic idea," he continues. "If only you kept playing cool and didn't lose your temper." His words make you sigh louder and you feel like a deflated balloon as you sag against your chair. "Oh god, what do I do now. I was such a bitch. I'm embarrassed to even show up in front of him." You wail. Mingyu is about to console you when Seokmin appears, suddenly sitting down at your table.

"Hey, guys! What's up?" He grins, his usual cheery self. Mingyu sets his spoon down, "Oh, _____ is just sad that the love of-" You kick the stupid man underneath the table and send daggers his way, trying to get him to stop. Seokmin looks between the two of you, confused, before he rests his hands on the table and leans towards you. "Hey, _____. What's going on with you and Seungcheol? Is there any problem?"

"Huh? N-no, why?" You can't mask the tension and alarm in your voice. "No...it's just that yesterday we were talking and I brought you up and he seemed weirdly stiff. You also left the party all of a sudden that day. Is everything alright?"

"Uhm..yeah, yeah. We're good." You swallow. We are so not good. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Mingyu raising a brow at your obvious lies, sporting a smirk and you clench your fists. This sly bastard. You send him a threatening glare that says I'll deal with you later but his expression says that he couldn't care less.

That day after your classes you accumulate all your courage and send Seungcheol a text, asking him where he is and if he's free. A few minutes later, comes his reply in which he tells you that he's in the studio so you immediately flag down a cab to get there promptly.

When he isn't attending classes, Seungcheol spends most of his time in this studio downtown where he works on making music and choreo with two other guys named Woozi and Hoshi. In the early times, when he first joined the studio he was really shy and didn't tell you about it for almost two months. But you eventually found out and you and others in your friend group realized that he's got a knack for writing songs and rapping. It's been a couple of years since he joined the studio and he made a few good bucks by writing and composing some songs. When you asked him if he wants to make a career out of this and in reply, he told you he's still thinking about it.

The cab stops and you jolt out of your thoughts, quickly paying the driver and entering the building in hurried steps. You head straight for the practice room where you find Seungcheol sitting alone, busy with his- surprisingly because you expected others to be there too. Closing the door behind you, you tentatively step inside. "Hey."

He looks up from his phone, "Oh, hey." He sets the device down as you pad towards him looking around. "I thought others would be here."

"Yeah, I came early. They'll be here in a while," Seungcheol replies, stretching his legs. Nodding, you stand uselessly in front of him, hands busy fiddling with the hem of your tote bag. He watches you with blank eyes which magnifies your shame a hundred times. It was never like this between you and him. It was never supposed to be like this. With a deep breath, you take an attempt to get yourself together before gently sitting down next to him on the floor. Staring down at your lap, you speak. "I'm sorry."

Silence.

Unnerving silence is all you get and you are too ashamed, almost paralyzed to sneak a peek at him. Long, agonizing moments pass before you hear him sigh. "No, it's okay. It was my fault." Your head spins towards him, "No! No, it wasn't! It really wasn't. I was a total bitch. You were just asking your best friend if she is dating someone and she was a snarky rude bitch to you." Despite the situation, he chuckles softly before setting his eyes on you, gaze fond. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay. I'm your best friend. I forgive you."

Wow. That went easier than you thought. His easy forgiveness makes you somewhat more embarrassed. You whisper, "Thank you. And I'm really sorry, once again. I...I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay. I was rude too. If you genuinely like Mingyu, you should date him," he advises, his voice soft like silk. You chew your lower lip anxiously, "Yeah, about that... I'm not dating Mingyu." Seungcheol gapes at you in silence before raising a brow at you, "What?"

"Yeah... We're not dating. In fact, he has his eyes on someone else." Seungcheol sits in silence for a while, making you feel nervous for no reason. After a few bits, he murmurs, "Oh. Then why was Mingyu like that with you?" He frowns. A nervous chuckle escapes you as you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "I don't know either. You know how he can get too friendly at times. I didn't mind him, really."

Humming, Seungcheol nods before leaning back against the mirror on the wall. You do the same and like that, the two of you enjoy some tranquility and this time the air is much more comfortable, like old times. He hums a tune sitting comfortably next to you as you play with your bag on your lap, thanking the heavens for letting you overcome his hurdle with ease. The quietude comes to a halt when Seungcheol opens his mouth, his voice subdued as he utters the words, "Evelyn and I broke up."

You almost choke on your saliva because never in a million years did you expect him to casually announce his breakup. You turn your head to take a look at him and oddly find him smiling a little. He doesn't appear bothered or hurt and that troubles you further. "I- what? Why?" You whisper. "It just wasn't gonna work out, you know. We both agreed to that so we just split up." You don't have words to that so you nod your head dumbly, murmuring, "I'm sorry."

"Nah," Seungcheol waves his hand in the air. "It's alright. It's nothing to be sorry about. We separated on good terms. She was saying that she actually likes someone else and I totally understand, you know?" You don't but you just nod your head, still processing the news. After a few more moments of stillness, you attempt to joke, "Well, welcome back to the singles club, I guess." Seungcheol laughs, playfully smacking your shoulder as you join him, your face splitting into a grin. Your heart feels lighter and your mind a lot less burdensome and you wonder if it's because you made up with Seungcheol or because of his breakup.

The next day, on your way to class you come across Evelyn who stands by the economics building, looking around for someone you assume. At first, you think about not saying hi but deciding it'll be rude, you approach her with a slight wave. "Hey, there." Her eyes land on you and she grins, as sweet as ever, "Hey! _____!" Her hands move enthusiastically. "How are you!" You come to stand in front of her, "I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm great too," she smiles. Tentatively, you offer, "I'm sorry about the... breakup, you know. Seungcheol told me."

"Oh," she makes a face, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. "It's alright. We broke up on good terms, you know? It's all fine. I also might like someone else." She grins conspirally. "By the way, have you seen Seokmin?"

"Huh? Seokmin? No, why?"

"Oh, he was supposed to go to the library with me but I can't seem to find him. He isn't picking up either."

"I have no idea where he is. Sorry." You offer "No, it's alright. He's probably sleeping. You'll get late for your class now. Bye!" She points to her watch, reminding you of the time. "Yeah, right! See you," you return her enthusiastic wave before walking into the lecture building still processing how casual their breakup really was.

Later that week when you and the whole group sit down for dinner at a restaurant, Jeonghan suddenly makes an offer, "Hey guys. The vacation starts tomorrow. Why don't we all go somewhere together this time." Chewing on his food, Mingyu agrees excitedly, "That's a great idea dude! We really need a break."

"My father's friend has this nice resort by the beach. I'm thinking we could go there. What do you say, babe?" Jeonghan asks, turning to his girlfriend, Iris who nods her head with a grin, linking her hands with Jeonghan's. Ever since they started dating a year ago, she has become a part of this group, and boy, do they not hesitate to get affectionate with each other in public. On cue, Jeonghan returns her grin, more mischievous as he leans over to press a kiss on the corner of her lips. Seokmin makes a noise of disgust, "Can we have one dinner without you two smooching each other?"

"Someone's jealous," Jeonghan teases, slinging an arm around his girlfriend while all of you chuckle. "But seriously, it's a good idea. We should go." You speak, taking a sip of water. Seungcheol hums his agreement from beside you and like that, everyone is on board with the idea. So a couple of days later you all get on Seokmin's dad's minivan as Seungcheol drives you all to the beach. It's not a long ride by distance but it definitely felt lengthy when Jeonghan and Iris started aggressively making out in the back of the van, which was positively intended to annoy all of you. Seungcheol turns the radio louder to cover their obscene noises and Seokmin covers his ears whining while Mingyu, being a sly, unashamed bitch, sneaks glances at them and you try your best to focus on the music playing and the view passing by. When it's dusk, you arrive at the beach and check-in immediately, starting your seven day vacation. Everyone gets separate rooms except the gross couple but you aren't so happy about it because your room is right beside theirs and you know they'll keep you up at night because you are pretty sure the walls here aren't soundproof.

The next morning you wake up fairly late due to the exhaustion of the journey and your general laziness. Stepping out of your room after quickly making yourself presentable, you head downstairs to catch the complimentary breakfast buffet. By the time you finish eating there is no sign of others so you call Seungcheol to know about their whereabouts and he informs you that they are at the beach. And by them, he meant just him and Seokmin because when you arrive at the relaxing area under a huge umbrella you find only two of them there. And Seokmin seems to be napping away under the sun, a straw hat resting on top of his face to sleep without hindrance.

"Hey there. You're finally up," Seungcheol smiles, yomping through the sand. He is dressed in a pale blue oversized shirt and white shorts but what gets heat steaming from your ears is how he left the top two buttons of his shirt undone, which gives a delicious peek of his silky skin beneath. Also, the sunglasses resting on top of his head doesn't really help with your mental health. Swallowing you quickly look away. "Yeah, I slept like a baby," with a sheepish smile you walk closer to him. "Where are the others?"

"Oh, Mingyu and the gross couple went to town for sightseeing and shopping. Min and I stayed," Seungcheol explains, kicking the sand underneath his feet. Nodding you gaze around, relishing the beautiful scenery and the perfect weather; the sun high up but not too hot, just perfect. As it is off-season the number of visitors is very low hence there are like three people besides you all on the beach.

"You look nice," Seungcheol juts his chin towards your dress; a simple pale yellow mid length dress with spaghetti straps. His compliment makes your heart flutter and your face burn. "Thanks," you reply as coolly as possible. The two of you sit down on the folding chairs and enjoy the waves crash and the blue of the ocean. As a thought occurs to you, you speak, "The other day I met Evelyn." Turning his head towards you Seungcheol takes off his shades. "Oh?"

"Yeah...she was really chill you know- not that it's a bad thing, I'm just saying. She also mentioned she likes someone else. Do you have any idea who it might be?" You turn to face him. "I'm so curious." Seungcheol chuckles softly at your desperateness, "Trust me I am too. When I asked her who it is she just smiled and said I'll see." You groan, "Ughhh, who could it be! I'm really curious who she left you for."

"Ouch," he feigns hurt, making you laugh. "I guess we can only wait and see. I wish the best for her. She's a great person." Nodding you nudge Seungcheol. "You're not so bad yourself," you tease.

The day passes by as you all play in the water when the others return and then eat some hearty lunch from a small restaurant nearby. After that you all lounge on the beach as the sky turned dark, sipping drinks and watching Seokmin and Mingyu be their stupid selves.

The next day is full of more sightseeing and sunbathing and taking pictures. After a really fun day, Mingyu sets up a barbecue at the beach as all of you assist him. With lots of side dishes and beer, all of you eat by the bonfire which Seungcheol and Seokmin worked hard on setting up. As you and Iris clean up the one-time plastic plates Jeonghan proposes to play a game. After a debate between him and Mingyu, it is decided to play truth or dare which Seungcheol claims is just childish. "You're just scared," teases Jeonghan with a suggestive wriggle of brows. The game begins with Seokmin who chooses truth and is asked by Jeonghan when did he lose his v card. The game progresses like that, full of silly truths and dares and Jeonghan's relentless teasing. At your first turn, you choose dare and end up doing or trying to do belly dance.

"Is there anyone among us that you have feelings for?" Jeonghan drawls, taking a sip of his beer, catching you off guard on your second turn. The look that he shares with Mingyu makes you realize that the bastard did not keep your secret.

He fucking told Jeonghan! That prick.

"Um..." Swallowing, you look around nervously, chewing on your lip. Half of you just want to lie and say no but you know for a fact that Mingyu and Jeonghan won't let you off so easily knowing your little secret. You take a peek at your best friend sitting next to you, his face concentrated on yours, and blowing out a loud breath you huff, "Yes." Seokmin makes a scandalous gasp as you feel Seungcheol shift next to you. The two evils snicker among themselves as you glare at them.

You're gonna kill Mingyu.

"Who is it?" Jeonghan smirks. You grit your teeth, "That was not the question, asshole. You asked if I was interested in someone and I replied. Done." Jeonghan, not one to give up says, "Okay then. Give me another truth. Who, among us, do you have feelings for?"

Oh god. You were gonna commit homicide.

"It's not my turn, Jeonghan." You hiss at him, sending daggers his way. Completely baffling you, Seungcheol speaks up, "No, _____. Answer it. Who is it?" Shocked you gape at your best friend.

Why is he doing this to you?

For a second you hope he's joking but the utter seriousness in his face tells you he's not. There are a few moments of stunned silence where you and Seungcheol stare at each other while four pairs of eyes burn into the two of you. Blinking, you murmur, "I'm out." Standing up quickly, you wipe the dust off your ass before marching back to the resort. You think they'll leave you alone but they don't- Seungcheol follows you with a call of your name. Annoyed, you turn around to face him, "What?"

"Is it Mingyu?" He asks, coming to a halt right in front of you. You can't help the tears that form in your eyes.

Is he really doing this? Again?

"Really, Seungcheol?" You whisper disappointedly. "No...just. Why don't you say it out loud?" He rakes a hand through his hair, frustratedly it appears as he huffs. "I mean, we're all friends here. You can just say that you like Mingyu. Why are you hiding?" Clenching your fists, you will yourself not to cry. "Well, you being like this makes me think maybe we aren't friends." Your voice is a breath above a whisper. You don't wait for his reply as you turn around and resume your walking, only faster this time, desperate to get away from everything, from him.

Maybe you shouldn't have come on this trip.

A night full of crying later you wake up to your phone ringing. There are a few texts from Mingyu and Jeonghan asking if you are in your room and are you okay and you realize it's almost noon. Sighing you quickly type out a reply to Mingyu before heading towards the bathroom, trying to wipe the tear stains on your face and your puffy nose. Just as you finish freshening up, there's a knock on your door and opening it, you come to face Seungcheol.

Immediately your throat tightens and you're about to close the door until he speaks, "Can I come in? Just for a minute?" His voice is soft as if he's addressing a child and swallowing the lump on your throat you step aside and let him in. He cautiously sits down on the small sofa by the bed while you gulp down an entire glass of water, trying to get your parched throat working. Wordlessly you sit down on the bed and look at him, awaiting him to speak, too tired to open your mouth.

If you're being honest you are too tired after last night to deal with him right now but since he's already here it's better to get it done with. "I'm sorry," he whispers. Expression bleak, you watch him. The silence is unnerving. Seungcheol stammers, "I- I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just- I'm really fucking sorry, ______. I crossed the line." Rubbing your forehead with a sigh you look down at your lap. Yeah, he did.

But part of you wonders, why? Why did he suddenly become so desperate, so... jealous? Perhaps...?

"Listen, I'm sorry for being an asshole. I just...I couldn't control my curiosity. I really wanted to know who you have feelings for. You're my best friend. I... wanted to support you."

Yeah...best friend.

With a soft exhale, you smile at him as your heart breaks with a slap of reality, "It's alright. I understand. Let's forget it." Seungcheol stares at you for a beat, a perplexed look on his face as if he can't believe you just forgave him. How can you not? You're so fucking in love with him.

"I- that's... great. Thank you." He stumbles over his words. "And sorry for barging in. You just woke up, you should eat." He gets up swiftly, murmuring an awkward goodbye to you, and heads out the door. Blowing out a frustrated breath you lie down on your bed, the tornado of emotions inside you becoming a bit too hard to manage.

You spend the rest of the day by yourself, locked up in your room, saying that you don't feel really good, which was true and opt to watch Netflix. Mingyu and others pay you short visits throughout the day, making sure you're okay but not pressuring you to come outside after last night.

The next morning arrives, all bright and shiny, sky clear, birds chirping; too much of a nice weather to stay cooped up in your room. So after having breakfast in your room, you head out in search of your friends who you find are all sitting in the lounging area by the resort pool.

"_______! Hey! We were just about to call you!" Seokmin waves his hand excitedly as he sees you approaching them. "Seungcheol is going-" He is cut off by Seungcheol who stands up swiftly and smacks his shoulder. "Hey, ______. Can we talk... for a second?" His nervous tone and everyone's weird attitude bewilders you, nonetheless you follow Seungcheol as he leads you to the indoor lounge.

"Hey, so umm," Seungcheol fiddles with his fingers, weirdly nervous which makes you nervous. "Seungcheol what's wrong?" You cannot mask the worry in your voice. Seeing you distressed, Seungcheol quickly says, "No- don't worry. I just um- I just wanted you to hear it from me.''

"Hear what?"

Seungcheol inhales deeply, "I'm proposing today. I...like someone. I've honestly liked someone for a long time." His confession makes your world stop, quite literally. It feels like you are free-falling, falling and falling and falling with no ground to catch you. Simply, breathlessly, you stare at him while he does the same, probably waiting for your reaction. Your brain completely stops working. For a while you draw blank, feeling nothing until your brain suddenly reboots and you blink a few times. Coughing you try to mask how crestfallen you feel and appear not at all heartbroken. "That's- um...wow. That was quite unexpected. I'm not even sure if I heard correctly."

Seungcheol gives you his signature gummy smile with a tinge of shyness. "Well, I've kept it hidden for a long time and...I just can't anymore, you know?" Giving him your best enthusiastic smile, you ask tentatively, "I'm really happy for you. Who's the lucky girl?" Shyly he scratches the back of his head, "Someone you know actually." Your brows shoot up, "In our friend group? Who?" He throws a teasing smile at you while you mentally go through all the females you and Seungcheol are aquatinted with.

Who could it be?!

"You'll know when I confess," is all he says and you don't prod him further because you don't really want to know who it is. You want to live in your fantasy for just a little longer, before everything crashes and burns. You manage a grin, "Well, congratulations, dude! I'm so excited and happy!"

It's true, you are. You are happy that your best friend has found someone to love while at the same time you are breaking into a million pieces on the inside because it is not you. You probably never had a chance, you stupid girl.

"Wait so, she is coming here? You are proposing today? What if she refuses?" You throw a series of questions at him, wondering since when was he planning to announce his love. Is this why everyone arranged this trip? How did you not know anything?

Seungcheol scratches the back of his head, "Yeah...um, I'm proposing tonight on the beach. Thought it would be romantic with the pretty scenery and stuff. So yeah, she's coming then. And if she doesn't accept me...well, then I don't know what I'm gonna do honestly." Nodding, you swallow the lump in your throat. "Wow, you've been planning quite a lot huh?" He laughs, his beautiful gummy smile on display as your heart shatters at his innocent giddiness.

Damn it, ____. Get it together.

Your best friend has found his love. He must know her well enough to call her here and propose. Surely, she will say yes. Oh god. Seungcheol won't be yours anymore. Fuck, he was never yours.

"You gotta be there okay? Others will be there too. Mingyu is gonna be our photographer. I'm planning on having dinner will you all after I propose."

Oh god, could this get any worse? He will propose and he wants you to be there, witness it firsthand? How cruel. Mustering your biggest grin, you say, "Of course I'll be there. How can I not?"

You regret saying that. You deeply, deeply regret that. You cannot be there without starting to bawl in the middle of his proposal. Shit. How could you become like this? When did you become so pathetic? Head in your hands you sit on the floor, back at your room after Seungcheol dropped the bomb. You feel like you're hyperventilating, losing your grip on reality. Half of you want to scream and cry and run away from here and the other half just wants to go to Seungcheol and tell him. Alas, you can do none.

Evening arrives too fast for your liking and as you begrudgingly put yourself in some decent clothes you contemplate on saying that your period started and you're having cramps. No, that would be the most asshole-ish thing to do. Seungcheol would definitely be sad. Swallowing you gaze into the mirror, making sure you do not appear like you are on the brink of losing your shit. Smoothening your hair and dress, you take a lungful of air before stepping out of your room and towards Seungcheol's. He opens the door as soon as you knock, dressed in a black shirt and washed jeans with a camo print jacket and he looks fucking insane. His hair; oh god his hair- is styled back with gel, a few strands falling loose, revealing his forehead and you go nuts. In a trance, you stand there like a lovestruck fool, too busy drinking him up. God his girlfriend is gonna be so lucky.

He motions you to come in with a smile, "Hey, I'm almost finished. I just need to put my shoes on, okay?"

"Mhmm," absentmindedly you hum. "Is she here?"

"Uhh, yeah. She's nearby. Will be here soon." There's that giddy, shy smile on his face as he talks about her. Your whole body burns with jealousy and it frustrates you further. You have no right to be jealous when you have been running from your feelings for years like a pussy. "Great," you manage a fake smile, watching him as he puts his socks and shoes on. When he's finally ready he grabs his phone, checking it quickly before turning towards you, the biggest smile plastered on his face, "Let's go." You literally see the excitement and tension radiating from his body and it makes you more solicitous. Your sanity is hanging by a thread now, as it all starts to feel extremely real.

It is happening.

Before you can stop yourself, you call for him, "Seungcheol?" He has almost reached the door at this point. "Yeah?" He takes a few steps back to meet your gaze.

"There's something I need to tell you." You breathe. Wait, what are you doing? Nodding, he takes a few steps towards you, "Sure. Go ahead."

Breathe. Just breathe.

You will yourself to just inhale and exhale while trying to not crumble down in front of him when saying the words that have been on your tongue for years. This is might not be the best time; in fact, it isn't, but you need to get this off of your chest or else you might actually die. So putting your big girl shoes on, you do the worst thing one can do to their best friend just before they are about to confess to someone- you confess to them instead.

"I love you." Your voice doesn't waver, surprisingly. It's loud and clear, no hesitation, full of candor.

"I love you. Not just in a best friend typa way. I love you as in you're the love of my life, Cheol. I've loved you for years. I'm fucking crazy about you. You're all I think about. I- I really had to get this off my chest, you know? I love you so much that if I didn't say it out loud I thought I was gonna burst." By miracle you keep going while Seungcheol watches you; first with a frown and then his face covering with shock as his eyes widen like saucers, his mouth hanging open a little. He gapes at you, like a fish, all wide eyes and unbearable silence.

And you just stand there, waiting to embrace whatever comes next to you. Still, when he utters one single word you realize you are not prepared at all for what he's about to throw at you.

"Fuck." He whispers under his breath.

Fuck it is.

Fuck, it truly is.

Everything is fucked.

It feels like a staring competition, you and Seungcheol just watching each other. You stay rooted to your spot despite just wanting to run to the farthest corner of the world. The realization has started to dawn on you- your untimely confession and Seungcheol response. Shit. Shit. How could you do this to your best friend?

"_____-" Seungcheol opens his mouth to speak but he can't manage to speak many words so he shuts it again and stares at you with that flabbergasted look. You try your best to save what is left of the situation which is nothing basically. "Seungcheol, I am so sorry. Fuck- Forget I said-"

"I hate you _____." Seungcheol's voice stops you in your tracks as you watch him like a deer facing a hunter's gun. Your broken heart breaks even more but you stand strong and soak his words up, knowing well how much you deserve it. Of course he hates you, genius.

"I really hate you, you know? You ruined my proposal. You just had to confess when I was gonna do it. Do you know how long I've been preparing for this? Do you know how stressed I was? I worked so hard to surprise you and now-" Seungcheol was sulking and rambling while you stand there like a deer caught in headlights.

What the fuck is he saying?

"WHAT?" You choke out, feeling like you are about to collapse any second. "W-what the fuck are you saying?"

Seeing your stunned state Seungcheol falls silent for a second before whispering, "I'm saying I'm in love with you too. I'm fucking crazy about you too." His face turns red at the confession and he groans, covering it with his hands, "Ugh! This is not how it was supposed to go down!"

While he is worried about the stupid proposal you feel like you've been running a marathon for the last hour. The air in your lung simply dissipates at his words and now you don't know whether to pass out, cry or laugh.

Seungcheol loves you? Choi Seungcheol, your best friend of eons, loves you? Are you dead? Is this heaven?

You're too lost in your head that you don't realize Seungcheol is standing right in front of you until his hands come up to hold your arms. "_____? Hey, you listening to me?" Blinking, you try to focus on him. "What the fuck Cheol?" You repeat once more, undeniably having a hard time trying to decipher everything but Seungcheol just chuckles at your incredulity. "You- you-" you stop yourself before you start crying.

"I know baby. I can't believe it either but fuck, am I relieved." Seungcheol pulls you into his chest, his strong arms snake around you in a secure hold. You immediately melt into a puddle, literally and manage to whisper, "Why...why didn't you say anything?" You hear him sigh, "I don't know baby. I was scared. I was worried we were gonna lose what we had, you know?" Hearing him call you baby makes you want to punch the air and jump up and down until the building is shaking but instead you swallow and wrap your arms tighter around him. Seungcheol holds you even tighter and together, you two just stand there, wrapped up in each other.

Unbeknownst to you, a tear slips down your cheek which Seungcheol notices when he pulls back, "Baby, why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Fuck. I- I'm just so fucking happy Cheol. This is...fuck. I can't believe it." You stammer with a shy smile. Beaming at your antics Seungcheol wipes the tear off before pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead. You watch him for a beat before whispering, "Can you...kiss me, please?" His eyes widen as he takes in a sharp breath and before you can feel embarrassed he presses his lips against yours. His lips are pillowy soft and you never want to stop kissing him- that's your first thought. They move against yours in gentle motions before tentatively, he slips his tongue inside your mouth. You can't help the moan that escapes from you as you grip his jacket tighter. You're about to climb on top of him like a horny teenager when he pulls back, a flushed yet cocky look on his face. "As much as I'd love to take this further, I still want to propose to take you to the beach. So we should get going. Besides, we have a lot to talk about."

"Can't we just forget all that? I don't care about the proposal." You whine like a child, clinging to Seungcheol. "Oh sweetheart, but I do. I worked so hard for it." Seungcheol coos at you. Huffing you bury your face in Seungcheol's chest as you remember you have to face Mingyu and Jeonghan. Hearing you sigh, Seungcheol asks, "What is it?" You shake your head, "Nothing. Let's get this done with."

When you both arrive at the beach, hands linked together, you find all your gang gathered in front of what you can assume is a decorated tarp. Mingyu and Jeonghan throw a dirty, knowing smile at the two of you as soon as they spot you.

"So...we missed the finale huh? Y'all are all done, no?" Jeonghan drawls, slinging an arm around his girlfriend while Mingyu snickers from beside him. Seungcheol watches them with confusion for a second before gasping, "Wait- you all knew? I- I didn't-"

"Everyone knew you liked _____. Expect...for her, I guess," Iris rolls her eyes. "Wait- What! I had no idea!" Seokmin wails from one side making others roll their eyes. "Of course you didn't, dumbass," Mingyu teased. "Well, I guess we better get going. Y'all probably have a lot to talk about. We can have that dinner tomorrow." Mingyu says dragging Seokmin with him as they all start to head towards the resort, giving the two of you privacy.

"Wait- Wha-" Seungcheol is still flabbergasted and Jeonghan pats his shoulder. "It's okay, dude. We've known you two for years. Y'all would look at each other with heart eyes and shit which it was impossible to overlook. You two are just huge fucking idiots." Jeonghan throws a cheeky wink at you. Inwardly, you're grateful they don't bring up your stupid antics and whining that you have done for Seungcheol until now.

"Wait- seriously? Those two are in love with each other? Like the I- wanna-have-sex with you type love?" You hear Seokmin say as they all take their leave and a smile appears on your face. However, Seungcheol has other plans. "Wait a minute!" He calls to the departing group. "So...at Joshua's party, were you purposefully flirting with her? To rile me up?" His question is directed at Mingyu who smirks proudly while you burn in embarrassment next to Seungcheol.

Your now boyfriend raises a brow at you, "Really?" You squirm under his gaze. "It was his idea!" You immediately point your finger at Mingyu who cackles. "What can I say? _____'s hot." He shrugs casually and your mouth drops at his straightforwardness. Seungcheol growls, "You little shit!" He attempts to throw his shoe at Mingy but the tall man runs away, poking his tongue out to him. Others chortle and follow him while Seungcheol guides you under the tarp murmuring, "I'll deal with him later."

Now that you're closer, you can really see how beautiful the white tarp is; decorated with fairy lights and lots of blankets and pillows to rest on. There's a little table at one side where a nice bottle of wine chills, along with some small snacks. The best thing about this whole arrangement undoubtedly is the view; the roaring waves crashing at the beach, the sound so soothing and melodic to your ears. Seungcheol silently watches you soak up the view with fond eyes. "Do you like it?" He whispers.

"I- I love it. I love it, Seungcheol. Thank you. So much," you whisper, almost breathless and a bit teary. Seungcheol quickly helps you sit down before engulfing you in his arms. He breathes into your hair while running a soothing palm down your back. "Thank you, _____."

"For what?" You whisper. "For choosing me. For loving me. I don't know...thank you for everything. I can't imagine a life without you."

"Oh Cheol," you melt further into him. "I can't either. I've- I've loved you for so long and now-"Choked up with emotions you fall silent and instead lean back and press your lips against him, softly at first. Then he takes the reign and the kiss becomes heated, filled with raw passion and desire. Somehow you end up on Seungcheol's lap while his hands wander underneath your dress, your lips connected all the time. Half consciously you start unbuttoning his shirt but Seungcheol seems to come out of the lust haze for a second as he grabs your hands to stop you. "Wait."

"Huh? Why?" You whisper, lips swollen, hair messy and heart pounding so loud you might die. "I- just...fuck. I don't want our first time to be like this. I wanna love you, be gentle with you." Even though his words warm your heart, the horny part of you pouts. "Well then let's get back to the hotel! You can love me all you want!" Seungcheol chuckles at your antics, "After I worked so hard to set this up? No baby, we have all night. Don't worry." He presses a kiss on your cheek as you sit there, grumping like a kid.

"Now let me pour you some wine. We have a lot to talk about. I can't believe you let Mingyu get all handsy with you!" The sulking in his tone is unmistakable and you can't help but smile. "Well, I had to get your attention somehow!" Giving you a playful glare Seungcheol hands you the wine glass before wrapping an arm around your waist as you both get comfortable against the pillows. "Well, you have my attention now and you're never getting rid of it." He whispers, pressing kisses into your neck, and you hum, a huge grin set on your face.

The night progresses as you both talk and reminisce memories under the tarp, snuggled closely. And when it gets too cold you two leave for the hotel where he ushers you into his room and spends the whole night kissing every inch of your body and cherishing you, whispers of 'I love yous' in the air.

Next week when all of you return after a fabulous trip, Joshua arranges a get-together for all his friends. You and Seungcheol walk into the restaurant hand in hand as the crowd erupts in cheers and teases. Under all their gazes, you turn shy but Seungcheol couldn't be more proud as he every so often presses kisses on your face and hands. You smile as he proudly shows you off and talks about you to everyone like you are the most endearing thing in this universe.

Your mind wanders back into that night, under the tarp, after you had a few drinks and Seungcheol had this giddy yet teasing smile on his face. You remember the way his fingers traced your heated skin and how loose lipped he became when he was just a little intoxicated.

"You're so fucking sexy. I can't believe you are mine, finally." He said, his hands traveling down to your breasts while the other cupped your cheek. "I'm never letting you go. Even if I become the most famous person in the world or a penniless, homeless man, I'm not letting you leave me. And someday, right here, like this, I'm gonna ask you to marry me. I'm gonna make you my wife and have way too many children with you."

"Seungcheol! You're drunk."

"Oh, you wish, baby. I know very well what I'm saying. I'm gonna marry my best friend one day. That's so fucking sexy, isn't it?"

The memory leaves goosebumps on your skin but you feel all giddy inside, like a lovestruck teenage girl. The past week with Seungcheol has been the best of your life and you can't wait to experience what's coming.

You're about to tell Seungcheol to stop his bragging when the restaurant door opens with a jingle, revealing Evelyn. Just as you are about to greet her you see the person accompanying her and your mouth falls shut. Along with you, your whole friend group falls silent as you all gape at the two people that just arrived. "What the fuck?" Seungcheol whispers from beside you. "You gotta be shitting me," whispers Jeonghan from some corner of the place.

Evelyn stands there, hands linked with the other person, a shy smile resting on her face. The same goes for the man, pink tinting his cheek as he scans everyone's reaction with a coquettish smile.

The man turns out to be Seokmin.

a/n 2: If you enjoyed reading this, please reblog and lemme know your thoughts! My asks as well as the comments section are always open so please spare a few seconds to let me know how you felt! Have a good day/night~

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Taglist: @haylo4ever @laconic-abditory @madamechoi @winterciella

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